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July 31, 2001

X-E One of my favorite


One of my favorite sites on the entire internet is X-Entertainment. I would hang out with these guys if they would let me, but the truth is, I am *SO* too lame to hang with them.

Nevertheless, when I was wasting three days at Comic-con, I saw one of their authors, this guy named Robert, and I kinda geeked out at him about how much I love their site, and how I bet he was never last picked for dodgeball and how my mom said she'll drive us to the mall if his mom picks up.

Well, he did a little write up about the celebrities at Comic-con, and it's REALLY funny. He even said I was "the best celebrity of all"! No shit! How cool is that?! Go here to read the story. Then visit the rest of the site and laugh yourself silly.

July 30, 2001

Love Day My cool Simpson's

Love Day

My cool Simpson's desk calendar says that today is "love day". What the hell is that? Anybody know?

New Site Is Up! (sort of)

wilwheaton.net is finally up, but there's just a boring place holder page there. Hopefully, I'll have some time tonight to move stuff over there, but don't hold your breath.

Dad Is Home And Doing Great!

My dad came home yesterday. It turns out that he had blood poisoning. What happened was, when he was in Indonesia, he banged his toe on a boat anchor, and the resulting wound became infected, and the infection spread into his blood stream. We're really lucky that dad was home when it happened. If he had been in Indonesia, he most certainly would have died. That's a horrible thought, you know? To think that your dad came this close to dying.

But I saw him last night at my mom and dad's house, and he was himself again, making lots of lame jokes, and stuff.


A HUGE "Thank you, Mask Man" to all my friends who came on Saturday night. Did anyone see us on the webcam? Some of my friends got pretty crazy with it...I'm glad I don't archive any images! I did take some pictures with my brother's digital camera, and I'll be uploading them RSN.

Well, tomorrow is my step-son's birthday, so I'm off to get him some birthday schwag.

Email Lag

Lots of you have emailed me, and I haven't responding, but the responses are on the way, I promise. I've just been busy with birthday stuff and my dad. I'm sure you all understand, because each and every one of you is such a wonderful, caring, understanding person. *gag*


July 29, 2001

It's My Birthday!! My yahoo

It's My Birthday!!

My yahoo says "Happy Birthday, tvswilwheaton!"

So I click it, and I get a list of things that happened on this day in history, and a list of celebrity birthdays.

Guess who's number three?!

Today's Birthdays
July 29th
Actor Stephen Dorff is 28.
Rhythm-and-blues singer Wanya Morris (Boyz II Men) is 28.
Actor Wil Wheaton is 29.
Actor Rodney Allen Rippy is 33.
Rock musician Chris Gorman is 34.
Country singer Martina McBride is 35.
Actress Alexandra Paul is 38.
Rock singer Patti Scialfa (Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band) is 48.
Rock singer-musician Geddy Lee (Rush) is 48.
Documentary maker Ken Burns is 48.
Actor Mike Starr (``Ed'') is 51.
Rock musician Simon Kirke (Bad Company) is 52.
Marilyn Tucker Quayle, wife of former Vice President Dan Quayle, is 52.
Rock musician Neal Doughty (REO Speedwagon) is 55.
Actor David Warner is 60.
ABC News anchorman Peter Jennings is 63.
Former Transportation and Labor Secretary Elizabeth H. Dole is 65.
Actor Robert Fuller is 67.
Former Sen. Nancy Kassebaum-Baker, R-Kan., is 69.
Actor Robert Horton is 77.
Actor Lloyd Bochner is 77.

Dad Update

Dad is doing much much better. He's responding to the antibiotics, and he's coming home today.

July 28, 2001

Webcam Is Back Up I

Webcam Is Back Up

I got the webcam working again.

Right now it's on my birthday party bounce house, but I suspect it will be showing all sorts of lame stuff once my friends get here.

So there.

Dad Update

Thank you to all of you who emailed with your thoughts about my dad. Here's the latest: the infectious diseases doctor came about 2 hours ago and checked him out. It is her opinion that he has a bacterial infection from a wound on his toe. (He walked into the anchor chain while on the boat in Indonesia.) So they've got him on super antibiotics, and they're going to keep him in the hospital one more night so they can keep drawing blood and monitoring his vitals. Sucks that he can't come to my party. But it doesn't suck that we know what the $#@!^ is wrong with him. These have been a long 24 hours, man.


Where's My Burritto Gets Props!

Where's My Burritto Gets Props!

I'm finally listed (sort of) at Google. Just in time for the move.

I just talked to my

I just talked to my mom.

Dad is still fighting the fever, which goes up, then comes back down...the doctor still hasn't come in today, so I don't know what's happening.

I'm supposed to be having a party, a rather big one, too, tonight. I really don't feel like doing it, but I think it's a little late to cancel.

So I have a special treat for you today. I'm pointing the webcam into the house, so you can watch me get my house ready for the party.

Get comfy, because the fun is about to begin.

July 27, 2001

I just got back from

I just got back from the hospital. My dad is really sick, and the scary thing is, nobody knows what the hell is wrong with him.
I can talk to someone, in real time, who is on the other side of the world.
Spacecraft are taking pictures of Mars.
My Palm Pilot has more memory than my first desktop computer.

But not one doctor can tell me what the %^$#@ is wrong with my dad.
I've been on the verge of tears all day.

Sorry, kids. I know you've come to expect a certain irreverence from your Sweet Uncle Willie, but I am scared shitless.

I love my dad. I've never known my dad as much as I wanted to, because he works all the time, and I work all the time. Then there's the whole "You don't understand me!" thing, which basically adds up to a bunch of wasted years from 14 to about 22. **Pay attention, young 'uns: your parents are not as bad as you think, and someday they'll be gone, and you'll regret every single moment you wasted being mad at them because they wouldn't let you go to your fuck-up friend's house because they knew you'd get drunk there.**

I remember, when I was a little kid, like 7 or 8, my great grandfather died. I was in the kitchen of my house, and my dad was sitting on this high-chair stool thing we have, and he started to cry. Like really a lot. He cried hard. I was freaked. I didn't know what to do. At all.
So I ran into the laundry room, and I said, "Mom. Dad needs you." My mom came into the kitchen, and she did what I just didn't know how to do at 7 or 8: she hugged my dad, and let him cry on her. I can see the two of them, my dad in his ultra groovy 1979 perm, and my mom in her pantsuit, holding each other in the beautifully wallpapered kitchen in Sunland.

Later, I asked my dad why he was crying so hard. I had hardly known my great grandfather,l and he was cool and all, but I just figured that if I didn't know him that well, nobody else did, either. (Yes, the world did revolve around me, apparently.) My dad told me that he was thinking about his own dad, my grandfather, and how my grandfather was so sad, because his own father had just died. My dad then told me that he realized then, for the first time in his life, that someday his dad would die. Even at 7 years old that really struck me, and I think about it all the time.

A number of years ago, when I was working on Mr. Stitch in France, I awoke with a start one night. I thought "something horrible has just happened", and I couldn't go back to sleep. So I called my friend Dave, and told him what had happened, and asked if there had been an earthquake, or something. He told me I was just being lame (I am), and to that everything was fine. So I went back to sleep. Later that night, as I was going out the door of my apartment to dinner, my phone rang. It was my mom. She made some small talk, then told me that my dad wanted to talk to me. He got on the phone, and told me that his dad, my grandfather, had suffered a massive heart attack and died. I didn't know what to say. I asked him how he was doing, and he choked back a sob and said, "sometimes okay, and sometimes not." I had no comfort to offer my dad, and that really bothered me.

Months later, we had a funeral, and scattered my grandfather's ashes out to sea. It was really cool, and I cried really hard, but not for myself. I cried for my dad, remembering what he had told me 15 years earlier.

So tonight, I spent as long as I could at the hospital, talking with my dad, reading my lame HTML book, and watching Blind Date and Letterman. I kept taking his temperature, which started out at 103 today (scary, since my dad's 53) then went back to normal, and started a slow climb back up to 100.6 when I left.

I don't know what to do now. I know I won't sleep well, not knowing what's happening with my dad. The doctor will be calling in someone from the CDC in the morning if my dad's not better, since he was just in Indonesia on a surfing trip, and they think he may have brought something back.

But it's the not knowing that is the worst.

That and replaying in my head every wasted moment with my dad. Every time I wouldn't play catch with him, or go surfing, or acted embarrassed when he told a lame joke around some girl I was trying to impress.

Go call your mom. She's worrying about you.
And for god's sakes. Play catch with your dad.


I just stumbled onto Ain't

I just stumbled onto Ain't Nuthin But a Khai Thang. This guy is my new hero.

July 26, 2001

I just had a thought,

I just had a thought, as I am sitting here watching the TV:

Jurassic Park 3...


I mean, other than the obvious "the studio needs more money" reason.

Let's look at the suspension of disbelief problem for a sec. Jurassic Park: The Franchise, as compared to Friday the 13th: The Franchise.

In one, you have killer dinosaurs. In the other, you have a killer killer.

In one, you have this island where you just know bad things are going to happen.
In the other, you have this creepy camp where you just know bad things are going to happen.

So the problem I'm having is, why do they keep going back? Everyone knows there is going to be chaos and mayhem.

And how long is it before the dinosaurs take on Manhattan in 3-D?

Lovers Criss-Cross World in Vain

Lovers Criss-Cross World in Vain

"Ian Johnstone missed his girlfriend so much he flew back to Britain from Australia to propose to her. The problem is she did the same in the opposite direction"

This story made me laugh out loud.

It will also be made into a much needed Nora Ephron movie, I'm sure.

I posted the following in

I posted the following in the "Updates" page.

But the updates page will no longer hold things like this. The weblog will be the repository for ramblings like this. And when we get the new website, you'll have a message board to discuss these little spurts of thought that occasionally errupt out of me, like cystic acne on a 15 year old boy who plays too much D&D. (Like me, for instance).

So the updates page will forever hold a nice, little list of, well, updates to the house of lame...Hey! Maybe I'll change the title of the website to "Wil's House of Lame"...what do you think?

Here is the message, from July 22nd:

Hey party people.

I've just come home from the San Diego Comic-Con, where it's very possible I gave you a lame flyer for this very lame website.

So you actually came, eh? Suh-weet. I feel just slightly less lame than I did last night.

Want to know some cool stuff that's happened in the recent past?

Tough. I'm telling you anyway.

Here we go:

See, TNN is re-branding themselves. Re-branding is when a network changes it's image and programming, and goes after a new audience. Well, that's what TNN is doing. I guess someone decided that there were more Gen-X-ers than rednecks out there (thank god), and they've changed The Nashville Network (home of NASCAR and Hee-Haw) into The National Network (home of Miami Vice, Starsky and Hutch, and Star Trek: The Next Generation).

So this is quite cool, if you ask me. I've been doing lots of stuff with the TNN folks in the last few days, and they are really some of the coolest people on earth. And I'm not just saying that because they gave me a free trip to New York. Okay, well, maybe a little.

But check this out: There is this big thing called "The Television Critic's Association". I think there are TV critics in it, or something. Anyway, they get together every year to run up huge tabs on their corporate credit accounts, and see what's coming up on TV in the next quarter. That's where I come in. TNN asked me to go to the "TCA" (when you're a hip, edgy, media-savvy person, you use lots of acronyms, FYI) and be part of this TNG launch-thing. So I went, and it was sooo cool! I got to see some of the old TNG kids, who I don't ever see anymore since they're millionaires and I'm living in a refrigerator box, and, the coolest thing of all...I got to take a pee right next to BILLY FREAKIN IDOL!!!

Yes, you read that right. Here's how it happened: I went into the bathroom, and I'm doing my business, and I notice the guy next to mee is rather dressed up, like in serious rocker clothes. So I try to just glance at him, without getting all gay and weird, and he looks right at me, sneer and all. That's when I realize that it's HIM! HOLY CRAP! So I say, "My wife and I just saw you on "Storytellers". You really rocked, man!" (tap, tap). And he looks at me, and from behind his cool-guy sunglasses says, "Cheers, mate." And he's gone.

YES! How cool was that?

So after that, I'm off to New York to do a cool show called "Lifegame" which will be on TNN in a month or so. It's an improv show where they asked me to tell stories about my life, and then they have improvisers act out scenes based on my so called life, in different styles. Like the time my parents cornered me in the bathroom and gave me "The Talk"---when I was 20, done as a reggae musical. Very funny. And I got to play the Devil in a scene. YES!

While I was there, I got a tour of MTV networks, met Carson Daly (!), and was given a CHIA MISTER T! That's right. Let me tell you, everything after that was just Jibba Jabba.

So after NYC, I came home to LA, my wife picks me up at the airport, and I get on a train to San Diego for the Comic-Con, where I signed autographs and promoted TNG on TNN (I like that. It sounds like NBA on NBC), and this lame website. Honestly, it was mostly lame. I didn't sell many pictures, so I barely even covered my costs for the trip, and there weren't as many people there as last year. HOWEVER! There were a few cool thing, which I will relate now:

I met Oscar Gonzalez. He's an artist for Bongo Comics, who make The Simpson's comic. He drew, for me, a picture of me signing autographs for THE COMIC BOOK GUY! It's totally cool. I'll scan it at my brother's house, and post it this week sometime. Two other cool guys, Jason Ho and Mike Rote, also Bongo artists, did cool Simpson's caricatures of Ryan and Nolan (my step-kids). Thank you Bongo guys!

I also met Spike, of Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation, (the first guys to recognize Mike Judge's brilliance in the pre-Bevis days), and did a little soundbyte for their 25th anniversary special, so Spike gave me an autographed DVD of their greatest sick and twisted hits. Cool!

My buddies at TROMA, home of the Toxic Avenger and distributor of Fag Hag also gave me some DVDs, including Terror Firmer. Very cool.

Finally, I traded an autographed picture of yours truly for a copy of "College Girls Gone Wild." You know the one you see on TV? Trading things is cool.

That's it, kiddies. I'm back in LA now, and getting ready for my Big Birthday Bash next weekend. I'm turning 29 on the 29th! YES!

Your punching bag,

Littlest Giant

Big news! Big news! With

Big news! Big news!

With the help of the lovely Ashley, and the not-quite-as-lovely loren, this entire site will be moving to www.wilwheaton.net!

The new site will be ad-free (until I decide to whore myself to thinkgeek or some lame porn site), and will have these super-cool features:

A message board!!

A whole section for aspiring actors!

A whole section for me to get up on my soapbox, and rant, rant, rant!

A *real* gallery, with pictures of me and my dog, me and my cats, and other stuff you could care less about.

I'm really excited. And this never would have happend with out the support of viewers like you, the WM Keck Foundation, and the letters F and U, and the number 12.

July 25, 2001

This is the best idea

This is the best idea I've heard in a long time. It comes from Maverick, a cool girl with a guy's name (her description): "Get raging drunk at your
birthday party, have someone catch all that on film, then call it "Wil Wheaton Goes Crazy.'"

Sort of like "College Girls Go Wild", but without the college girls...hmmm...maybe it's not such a good idea after all.


Hey party people. Head on

Hey party people.

Head on over to the webcam page. You can see my step-son Ryan in all his punk rock glory.


PS- Radio is offline right now. Playing Age of Empires and I need the cycles!

I've been thinking about the

I've been thinking about the radio a lot recently. Maybe it's because I've been stuck in a Radiohead vortex. I'm not sure.
Well, today, I got an email from a girl who wanted to know why Radio Free Burrito hasn't been on. I told her that I turned it off because nobody ever listened, as far as I know, and, quite honestly, the pAved earth is just a whole hell of a lot cooler.

So I ask you, experiencer of my lameness...have you tuned into my little station of bliss?

I'm also kicking around the idea of creating a message board. What do you think?

Okay, you can all stop

Okay, you can all stop worrying. We found Sketch. He was behind the couch.
Carpets are drying, and the yard is getting clean! Whee!

My birthday is this Sunday,

My birthday is this Sunday, and we're having the carpets cleaned this morning.

And my cat, Sketch, ran out of the house, and we can't find him.


July 24, 2001

So the votes are officially

So the votes are officially in.
Out of the total of 4 votes I got, all of them said it would be cool to have an online journal, so here it is.

Extra special thanks go to loren who directed me to blogger, a website that will hopefully make this whole weblog (the cool kids call it a "blog") easy and painless.

I'm off now to make dinner for the family. You know what we're having tonight?

Burritos. No shit.