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November 30, 2001

If you are a regular

If you are a regular visitor, you know that I run this whole site entirely by myself, which, until now, has been really cool. Unfortunately, because it's just me here, I can't fix things when they go wrong. And boy, have they gone wrong. Something happened in the last week, and Greymatter, which is what I use to power my journal (the centerpiece of this site), barfed. I lost all my entries, and all their comments. All is not completely lost, though, asI have a call for help in to Noah Grey, who wrote GM, and I *do* have all the archived entries on my local hard drive.

Sadly, I don't know if I'll be able to get them back. I'm currently looking at php-based alternatives, including phpNuke, and phpWebsite. So it will most likely be days, if not a week or more, before the site comes back to normal.

The good news is, I've made this backup solution, using Blogger, and all the other areas of the site are working, with the exception of the gallery, but the authors of gallery are helping me repair that. I also had to take the soapbox offline until we move servers, but fear not! The data is secure. The bad news is, you can't comment on these entries.

Thanks for your patience. I hope you'll keep coming back to WWDN. I should be back to normal next week, just in time to report from the set of Star Trek X.

November 26, 2001

Can't sleep

Can't Sleep

So it's 2:30 in the morning. I have to get up at 5:45, so I can call a bunch of radio stations, to do my part in the publicity for Weakest Link effort...and I can't sleep.

I hate that. I think it's something I ate, because my stomach is burning something fierce, and my poor little brain is running a mile a minute. Does that ever happen to anyone? You're trying to sleep, and your brain won't shut up? It's either having an argument with someone, or singing songs, or replaying the days events? It usually happens to me when I've just started work on a new show. The whole night after that first day, I wake up every fifteen minutes or so, hearing them call out "Rolling!" and "Quiet!" and "We need Wil! Get Wil away from the hookers! We're waiting on Wil!"

Did everyone (well, most everyone) have a good weekend and a good Thanksgiving? Usually Thanksgiving is just another meal in my family, but this year it was really different. Being with my family was very important this year, moreso than usual. My mom asked all of us to bring candles up to her house, like the big jar-type candles, so that she could make a little memorial to my great aunt...so we did, and it was really cool. I took my step-kids shopping for them, and told them to pick out candles that reminded them of Aunt Val, one way or another...so Ryan picked out one that smelled like roses, and Nolan picked out one that smelled exactly like her house. I thought that it was really cool, because the one Nolan got was called "compassion", and that was the defining characteristic of Aunt Val...there was never, ever, someone with such boundless love and compassion for people. Anne got her one that smelled like Gardenia, and mine was acacia.

You know, I consider myself to be pretty skeptical, sometimes too much for my own good...but I swear that I've felt my Aunt Val's presence in the last few days, and it's been really comforting. I miss her, but I feel so happy when I think about her, and about how cool she was, that I don't feel sad...

I've always taken the 4 day Thanksgiving holiday totally for granted, but this year I spent the whole damn thing with family, and it was great, since I was originally planning to be out of town.

Here's a little re-cap of the weekend:

Anne and I spent the whole day together Friday, at the zoo. I took pictures, and I'll be adding them to the gallery sometime later today. Then there was the concert with my brother Friday night. Loren and Kelly came by Saturday, on their way home. We went to dinner, and they came and saw me in the worst improve show, ever. Then they went home Sunday, and Anne and I went to see "Spy Game", which is one of the best movies I've seen this year

Tangent:

Has anyone else noticed how movies keep getting more expensive, but the quality of the films, and the movie-going experience, is getting worse and worse? I mean, they're charging us 9.50 for movies in some theatres now, so that we can sit through commercials in the theatre, and watch the shitty movie on a screen that's slightly bigger than the bedsheet that my uncle used to project his vacation slides on. I'm thinking that if they're going to be charging us so much freakin' money to see the damn things, we shouldn't have to see commercials in the theatres, or if they're going to run even more advertising, that they should reduce the cost of tickets, but that's just me.

End of tangent. Sorry about that.

Robert Redford and Brad Pitt are just awesome in this film. I hope it does well at the box office, because I'd sure like to see more movies like this.

It was really cool...I hadn't realized how little I've been seeing Anne the last few weeks, because of my meetings and her work schedule...and when we do see each other, we're so busy being parents and stuff that we don't get to actually enjoy each other's company...so spending the bulk of the 4 days together was wonderful, and very much needed.

Finally, I tried to watch The Simpsons last night, but FOX was showing this horrible movie, instead...it was sort of like Star Wars, but without all the cool mythological over tones...

Wow. I can't belive that I've been sitting here for an hour. I think I'll try to go back to sleep now.

November 24, 2001

Explosivo

Explosivo

Just got back from seeing Tenacious D, Jimmy Eat World, and Weezer, down at the Long Beach Arena.

Not a bad place for a concert, but not the best, either.

We got there at 7:00, despite the best efforts of my friend to kill us while we were driving down there...staked out our spot on the floor, and waited...surprisingly, the show started on time, at 7:30. Jimmy Eat World went on, and played everything you'd expect, and played it pretty well, but I don't think they're currently suited for an arena show. I think I'd really enjoy them at The Glass House, or The Galaxy theatre, or someplace like that...They played for about 25 minutes, and then there was a break...at about 8:15, Tenacious D took the stage. JB and KG, alone, beneath a mighty banner of the devil...very, very cool. They rocked the hell outta the place, and were simply amazing. Jack Black is a tremendous showman. The crowd was, annoyingly, mostly kids. I'd put the average age at about 14. So JB takes the stage, and he says, "I notice that there's a lot of kids in the audience! Lots of 13 year olds...couldn't get into Harry Potter, so ya came out to see the D! Well, I'm gonna keep the show clean for you tonight. You're only going to hear 25 'shits', 81 'bitches', 324 'fucks' and one 'cocksucker'. Because we care about keepin' it clean for you."

Hilarious.

They played everything I wanted to hear, except for "Kielbasa" and "Dio", but they said that they had to cut it short for Weezer.

Weezer was pretty good...I can tell that they're sick of touring, though, and they didn't play "The World Has Turned"...but they did play some stuff from Pinkerton, which was rad.

Really lame stuff that happened:

*When we were watching the D, these two girls came and stood *way* to close to us, and every time JB would say anything, they would shout something back, like they thought we were on the Satellite of Love, or something...but the thing is, they were the exact opposite of funny. They were so lame and unfunny, that they actually sucked out some of my comedy, just by their mere presence, and I'm going to be forced to replenish my funny before tomorrow's Liquid Radio Players show...otherwise I could quite possibly suck.

*Also during the D, the kids standing right next to us decided that they really needed to smoke a huge joint. Now, I don't use the drugs, but I also think that a lot of the laws we have against them are stupid...but there are few things in the world that I hate more than the smell of weed, and I know that going to a concert and expecting it to be weed-free is like going to a tractor pull and expecting it to be mullet-free...but that didn't make it any less annoying. If you're gonna burn one, don't do it by me, dude.

Really cool things that happened:

*We were wating in a HUGE line to get into the arena, and it sort of doubled back on itself, at the edge of the building...so Jeremy and I are about to make the turn, and head back towards where we started, and Jeremy tells me to wait...and we did, and the line moved back past us, and we walked straight across, thereby making the line shorter. (I don't know if that makes sense, but Jer will probably read this before the weekend is out, and he'll know what it means, and when we play softball on Sunday we'll talk about how cool and funny that was. so there.)

*Between Tenacious D and Weezer, we walked over to the beer area place, because it was the only place that was teenager-free, and my friend wanted a beer (duh). While we were there, I saw my friend John, who plays guitar for Eve6. I told John that Keith and I are putting together a special Holiday show sometime soon, and I asked him if Eve6 would come and play on our show, and be guests, and he totally said that they'd do it. So I'm really excited about that. Those guys are all really cool, and we'll have fun. Funtimes. Yeah.

*When the show was over, we were walking out to the van, and we walked past where the tour busses were, and we saw Jack Black and KG standing outside, just chillin' with some people. We shot them the metal fist and threw them "the goat", and JB totally threw it back!! During the show, they shoot off some of those stomp rocket things, that are like Nerf arrows. My friend's girlfriend caught 2 of them, and we waved them at JB and KG. JB looks surprised that we got 2 rockets, and we told my friend's girlfriend to go get them signed, because that'd be cool...so she asked them to coem sign them, and they did! They were so fucking cool! I can't believe how nice, and normal, and grateful they were. Unfortunately, we drew a small crowd, and JB and KG ended up signing stuff for close to 30 minutes (I know because we stood there, waiting for another of our friends to come back to the van), and they were cool, and friendly, and accessible the whole time. I was very impressed. Jeremy got them to sign his "Cleveland Steamer" sweatshirt. Tenacious D gets 50 billion cool points.

I also realized that I'm 1 degree of Jack Black, which makes me 1 degree of Tenacious D.

ROCK.

November 21, 2001

Holy Crap!

Holy Crap!

Ever since reading Ishmael, things have really changed for me, as far as the way I see the world...changed for the better, I think.

Recently, I've been thinking a great deal about how the Universe likes balance, and when something really shitty happens, I'm feeling better about it, knowing that the really great thing will happen to balance it out.

Life's been pretty tough the last couple of years: strikes, threatened strikes, always coming in second, another recession...they all add up to not a whole lot of work for your old pal Uncle Willy...and, when you've got a family to support, you take some jobs that, in retrospect weren't exactly...well...yeah.

So the way I see it, the good stuff that should balance out the shitty stuff is on the way. It started when I did the old, lame website, and has continued to build, when I saw Ben at ComicCon (good balance, there...seeing Ben and meeting Loren really balanced out how shitty that whole thing was), when I built and launched this here website, when I did the whole Win Ben Stein's Money thing, and recently had the meeting with Buena Vista...

Is this going somewhere? I don't want to miss The Simpsons.

Yes. Yes it is.

I've recently been thinking about The Balance, and I've been expecting good things to happen to me, and, not surprisingly, that's mostly what I'm getting...sometime, I'll tell you my philosophy of the Nature of Life, The Universe and Everything (hint: a big part of it is the last chapter of The Dilbert Future, by some strange coincidence.)

I got a fortune recently, at a Chinese restaurant. It said, "You will receive help from an unexpected source". Nice and nebulous, right? Like a good fortune, it's easy to apply it to your life in a meaningful way, right? Well, the good thing I got out of that was to be open to help from people I wouldn't expect it from...like Levar Burton, for example. See where I'm going with this? Nah, me neither. But I think there's a good point hidden in there, somplace, and you'll apply it to your own life in a meaningful way.

Here's the "Holy Crap" thing: I was reading the comments in the last entry, and someone pointed out that I'm in the top ten, for entertainer of the year at EW. I took this screen shot, because I am totally ahead of *Nsync!! YES! :) I thought it was really cool, in a totally lame, sitting-in-the-quad-with-the-cool-kids sort of way.

Aw, Crap.

Aw, Crap

I did this interview with Entertainment Weekly Online, to support the Star Trek Weakest Link...I know, it was risky, considering how brilliantly objective and reasoned their last story about me was...but I was assured by NBC, and by the guy who did the interview, that it was a different medium (Website vs. Print) and it would be okay....

So here's the article...which is fine, except for "Crusher Crushed"...c'mon, how many times have we heard that?

Anyway, here's the deal: I'm really scared about how this is going to come off. I'm not allowed to talk about the outcome of the show, so I'll walk a very slim line here, while I try to explain some stuff.

I made a choice, when I went to play the show. I decided that I'd really play with Anne Robinson, and really go head to head with her, and never back down. Even though that's not really my style, I thought it would be fun, and it was...but I'm really nervous, because, at the end of the show, one of the producers came up to me and said, "You're really arrogant, aren't you?"

I was stunned. Ask anyone...I'm lots of things, but I'm not arrogant. But I played it snotty with her, because I was playing with her at her own game, you know? So I begged them to please be thoughtful when they edit the show, because if they make me out to be a huge dick, it could REALLY hurt my career. All of a sudden, the guy who you used to love from TV and Movies has grown up, and he's grown up to be a huge dick.

Perfect. Can I take your order? How about a nice Iced Tea to start, sir?

But here's the thing that I'm really, really upset about: Roxann Dawson, who I don't know at all, was, apparently very offended by something I said on the show. Here's the quote from EW:

However, Roxann Dawson (''Voyager'' sex symbol B'Elanna Torres) appears less amused when the married Wheaton jokes that he's in love with her. ''Coming on to me on national television -- when he knows my husband's gonna watch the show -- is just unfair, and frankly rude,'' Dawson says to the camera. (We don't think she's joking)

So, I feel just terrible. I don't know her, at all, and she seemed very nice to me, and I am really upset that she felt like I was rude to her, and that I was coming on to her, because nothing could be further from the truth.

I doubt it, but if Roxanne reads this, I want her to know that I meant absolutely no disrespect, at all. I am truly, truly sorry for that.

I just feel awful, and I've put in calls to my Star Trek friends, so I can phone her myself, and apologize to her.

*sigh*

Liquid Radio Players

Liquid Radio Players

So what are you doing on Saturday night?

I'll tell ya what I'm doing...I'm performing with The Liquid Radio Players at the ACME Comedy Theatre!

I've posted about it before, so I won't re-hash all the details, I'll just encourage you to go and read them again.

Come on out and see us! You'll be glad ya did!

Hella Hella Hella

Hella Hella Hella

COOL!(34k image)

I am really loving this.

November 20, 2001

Inward Singing

Inward Singing

Down To Earth(30k image)

How cool is this?!

For the record, I only drink beers that you can't see through, but I really appreciate the sentiment :)

Did you see the Leonids over the weekend? Wow. I watched them from my backyard, and, even through the haze and light pollution of the city I was able to convince my step-kids that the world was ending, and it was their fault.

How about the Simpsons Sunday? I was so happy to see completely random, unresolved, bizarre shit back on that show. I loved Bart just digging that hole. Up there with "Forbidden Donut", if you ask me.

Guess who's going to see Tenacious D, Weezer and Jimmy Eat World?

Well, lots of people, because it's sold out. But guess who has the coolest brother in the world, whose cool fiancee gave him her ticket?

Oh yeah, baby. Jeremy's fiancee totally passed the torch.

One last thing: I wrote some satire for BBSpot, and Brian published it! Before you read it, please read BBSpot's WARNING first:"BBspot is a satirical news and comedy source and meant to be funny. If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor we suggest you go elsewhere."

Oh, and rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated.


---

RFB will be streaming today. I just added a whole big buttload of stuff to the playlist too, so you'll hear stuff that's out of the ordinary.Weeeeee!

November 19, 2001

Joy and Sorrow

Joy and Sorrow

We had my Aunt Val's memorial service yesterday. It was really wonderful. We had it at her son's house. The whole family gathered in his living room, and we all just shared stories and memories of her. It was the most perfect memorial service I've ever been to. See, I think that a service should reflect the person you're (or yr, if you're a hipster) remembering. I've been to so many funerals and memorials, where they have little or nothing to do with the memory of the deceased...and I always leave feeling cheated. But I really didn't feel that way. All of us, just sitting in the living room, remembering how wonderful she was, and how special she made each person feel...

My mom had asked me if I wanted to say anything, and I told her that I would, but I just didn't want to say, "Me, too." So I looked through my bookshelf, trying to find someone else's words that I could use to express the dichotomy within me: I feel like I should have this debilitating sadness. My Aunt Val was so important to me, that I feel like I shouldn't be able to do anything but sob and grieve over her loss...but when I think of her, I feel happy, remembering all the cool things we did together, and what a simply amazing woman she was...the only time I've felt that crushing sadness was last night. I woke up in the middle of the night, with a start, thinking "Oh my god. Aunt Val is really, truly, gone." It took me close to 2 hours to fall back asleep.

So I'm looking through my bookshelf, and all I have is Shakespeare (too flowery) and Wilde (not exactly appropriate for a memorial)...then I see, tucked in between my "Tao Te Ching" and my "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", "The Prophet", by Kahlil Gibran. It belonged to my Aunt Val, and she loaned it to me about 2 years ago. I remembered that it was so important to her, and I looked though it, to see if I could find something that was appropriate...and I did. I read the following, from a chapter entitled "Joy and Sorrow":

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

My Aunt Val was my delight.

November 16, 2001

The late, great, Bill Hicks

The late, great, Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks was one of the greatest comedians of all time. He is one of my greatest influences.

Disinfo has this great story about the man they called "the Nietzsche of comedy, the most legitimate social critic of the 1990s: a renegade messiah who tried to make people laugh, but usually ended up pissing them off, or drawing blank stares."

November 15, 2001

Saturn Comes Back Around

Saturn Comes Back Around

So the meeting today went very, very well. I really liked the people I met with, and they seemed to really like me back. We talked about lots of different things, and they told me that I'm at the top of their list, when they are working on new projects! I was a little nervous, mostly because I was just excited, but I think I kept my cool...I only rambled a little bit, which was good, and I mostly stayed off my soapbox. :)

I am having major problems with my cable modem service, and it looks like it's going to require a service visit, to my house, to fix it. Problem is, they're telling me that they can't get someone out here until the 26th! I'm currently fighting the angry customer fight with them on the phone, but I don't know what is going to happen. So if nothing changes here for a few days, it's because I can't get online to do anything. I should point out that the national-level guys I've talked with have all been very cool and helpful, (yay tech support!). It's the local's who are being sort of lame.

I know that the soapbox is dead, and it's all my fault. I was doing some work, which required accessing the database that the soapbox uses, and I borked it up. completely. So I'm working to reset it, and I'll make sure that Josh makes me a database just for the soapbox, so it won't happen again. I am truly sorry to everyone who lost messages and stuff.

Thank you all so much for sending the mojo. I really appreciate it. I truly believe that there is something there, when we do things like that...I think that we can do more with our thoughts than we think we can...("You mean that space, and time, and thought aren't all as separate as we think?") <--name that quote, and win a teddy bear!*

*bears will not be awarded.

We asked for Mojo Nixon. They said, "He don't work here!"

We asked for Mojo Nixon. They said, "He don't work here!"

Good morning!

Remember the last time I asked for some mojo? Remember all the empty promises I made, about being best friends, and letting you ride in my mom's car when we went to the museum of Natural History for our next field trip?

Well...the time has come, the walrus said, to make some more empty promises.

I need your mojo, and I need it between 3 and 5 PST today. I'll even tell you what it's for this time..."Win Ben Stein's Money" is produced by Buena Vista Television, and BV saw all my auditions and all my tapes and stuff, and I guess they have decided to give me a chance to be funny, because their VP of development and their Director of development asked to have a "general meeting" with me today. A general meeting is where I go and talk to a casting director, or a director, or producer, or whomever, and we talk about stuff we could do together, and it usually leads to employment. (!) They'll probably ask me what type of show I think I would like to do, and would be good for. I'm gonna tell them how much I like "The Daily Show".

Anyway, it's very exciting, and I'm just a little bit nervous...not because I think I'm gonna suck, but just because it's such a huge opportunity for me and my family...so if you could spare some mojo, I'll be your best friend, and you can ride in our car when my mom chaperones on the field trip to the Natural History museum!

Oh, did anyone see the Drew Carey show last night? It was the live, improv version...made me laugh out loud many, many times.

November 14, 2001

Wow

Wow

I am completely humbled, excited, and just a little giddy.

I don't even know what to say...I was linked by fark, metafilter (they were much nicer this time), plastic (still not nice), and too many Trek sites to list. Chris from Slashdot (among others) emailed me to say congrats...he'd heard the news via the submissions that were flying towards /.

The really, really cool part of all this, I mean, the best part of all, is that the comments out there, for the most part, have been very positive towards me, and when they are negative, they are negative towards Wesley. That I can handle. And I bet you that it wouldn't be like that if I didn't have this lame little web site. So, to those of you who have given me a chance to illustrate the difference between him and me, I say "thank you!"

This has been a weird 10 days or so...the universe really likes balance, doesn't it?

November 13, 2001

Homecoming

Homecoming

When I did Weakest Link, I stood next to LeVar. We were talking during the commercials, and I said to him that I really missed them. He said to me that I should be in the movie, especially since it's going to be the last TNG movie. I told him that I would love to be in it, but I really thought that Berman and company really didn't like me. He seemed surprised, and he told me that he was going to call Rick the next morning, and suggest to him that I be in the movie, at least as a cameo. I thought that would be really cool, and told him so.

Last week, on Friday, my agent called me to let me know that there was an offer from Paramount to reprise the role of Wesley Crusher in Star Trek X. We just needed to work out the details.

So we spent some time negotiating it, and --get this-- Rick Berman told my agent that he was "very pleased" that I was going to be in the movie!

I am really excited about this for three reasons:

* I am going to get to work with my friends again.

* Wesley Crusher will have some real closure, finally.

* For the last 5 years, at least, everywhere I go, fans ask me if I'm going to be in a movie, and what happened to Wesley, and I can honestly say that I'm doing this for the fans, because it will be so damn cool to see all of us together again.

WHEEE!

Score!

Score!

From StarTrek.com:

LINDA PARK: The first Star Trek was not my first Star Trek. I started with Star Trek: Next Generation, and I loved it. I loved the holodeck. I loved Wesley. He was, like, my first crush, so that kind of kicked it into high gear for me. Later on I started to watch some of the earlier, Captain Kirk episodes, but for me I'll always be a Next Generation fan. That was my first one, so I'm going to stay loyal to that one.

Cool. No word yet on when Jolene Blalock will be confessing her love, but she will...oh yes, she will.

November 12, 2001

More Cowbell

More Cowbell

I'm getting ready for bed, and Ferris is starting to bark.

So I let her into the backyard, so she can see that there's nothing there.

I follow her into the backyard, and it is just breathtaking...the storm has moved on, so the clouds are breaking up...their bottoms are just slightly glowing with the light of the city, and I can see Saturn through a hole in them.

The rain is still dripping off the trees in my yard, and it's cold, so my breath swirls around my head while I stand in the grass, watching Ferris secure the area.

The smell of many fireplaces hangs in the air, and I can hear the soft roar of the freeway, many miles away. Funny how the sound carries in the cold, still air.

My face is still cold as I write this...boy, I love Autumn.

Here Comes The Rain Again

Here Comes The Rain Again

Some things happened today that were cool: I hung out, all day, with my brother. I took my wife and kids to his house, and we played Tony Hawk 3, and Age Of Empires at his house. Jeremy works all the time and doesn't live very close, so we don't get to hang out as often as we used to. The kids totally look up to him, and just love being around him, and he took the day off today to hang with us, so that was really, really cool.

We went to lunch, and Ryan said to us that while he was at science camp, all the kids started calling him "EMENEM", because of his short blonde hair. So I asked him if he was the Real Slim Shady, or just one of those imitators. Ryan takes a beat, and he says, "Well, Wil, here's your answer." And he stands up! I totally missed it, at first, but Anne caught it...I was so stunned, when I got it...that type of subtle, non-fart-related humor just doesn't exist in your average 12 year old. As I reflected on it, I felt really warm and fuzzy, because I see both Ryan and Nolan developing senses of humor that are very smart, ironic, dry, and sarcastic...I wonder where they got that? *grin*

Ryan is *almost* ready for his first trip to Milliways...I'll go pick out a towel for him next week.

We do this work with Ferris, where we train her. We work on a skill for a few times, treating her when she does it correctly, and then alternating treats with praise, until she knows what it is we want her to do.

Using this technique, we've taught her to sit, lay down, and roll over.

What Ferris really needs to learn is to come when she's called, and we've been working on that. I have her sit and stay, then I walk away to another room of our house, and call her. When she comes, I give her a treat and some praise, and we repeat.

Small problem with Ferris: she is very smart, and when she's learning, for example, to lay down, she will hear me say, "Ferris.." and she'll just lay down, and look for the treat. So I have to make her get back up, and start over again. Sometimes it takes awhile.

I promise this will pay off...just bear with me.

So the other day, I'm working with her, and she's very excited, because she loves the attention, she loves having something to do, and she loves the treats and praise. We've been doing the "sit, stay, come, good dog" thing for about 5 minutes, and she is getting really excited. She's got lab in her, so when she gets excited, she just about turns inside out. I have her sit and stay in the kitchen, then I go to the complete opposite end of the house...past the ballroom, the conservatory, and right into the study. I call her, and she comes running into the room, crashes into me, looks at me, and then she sits, she lays down, and she rolls over. I just about died. I don't know if it's translating, but it was so damn funny to me, seeing her show me all her skills, without me saying anything...

Anne and I watched "Blow" night before last. I really enjoyed it. I thought it was a bit over-edited, but I liked the script and acting. that Ted Demme is quite the director, I tell ya what.

It's raining here in Los Angeles, the first real rain of this season, and I really love it. It's all yummy and chewey. Tonight, for dinner, Anne made turkey meatloaf and mashed potatoes and I built a fire in the fireplace. After dinner we all sat by the fire and played Apples To Apples, one of the coolest games, ever.

Yes, today was, indeed a good day. I hope you enjoyed yours, as well.

Preludes and Nocturnes

Preludes and Nocturnes

I had a semi-vivid dream last night. I say semi-vivid, because it felt very real when I was dreaming it, but as the day has gone on, I've lost most of it. Here's what I recall: I was being chased by this very large man, who was some sort of creature. He was part simian, part alligator, and part human. He was terrifying, and was going to kill me. I was so scared of him, and I was running away, and, though he was very dangerous and bent on killing me, he was saying, "If I could only communicate with them [meaning humans], they'd understand. Why don't they understand me?"

So I got the feeling that he/it was trying to communicate with us [humans], but he couldn't speak our language, so we were afraid of him, and he was desperately trying to talk to us, so he was chasing me...I'm sure there is deep symbolism here, but I'm not very motivated to seek it.

The strange thing is, I was thinking to myself as I was laying in bed that I miss dreaming vividly. I just don't dream as often as I used to, or at least I don't remember them like I once did.

I was reading Ishmael before bed, and I had watched the X-files (with the freakshow), so I think I know where the dream originated...but it was still...uh...interesting, or something.

Karma Whoring Part 2

Karma Whoring Part 2

In the world of comedy, we call this a "call back".

Har. Har. Har.

November 11, 2001

Veteran's Day

Veteran's Day

A moment of silence, and respect, please, for all the men and women who have sacrificed and served their country, whether in a conflict just or unjust, always with honor.

Mr. or Mrs. Veteran, thank you.

Galaxy Ball

Galaxy Ball

Yesterday, I participated in The Galaxy Ball. It was a cool reunion of sorts, benefiting the Down Syndrome Association of Los Angeles, and some other worthwhile charities.

I got to share the stage with Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner, and Jonathan Frakes! I was sitting backstage with them, looking at the four of us, and I was singing that old Sesame Stree song, "One of things just doesn't belong..."and I was a little bit nervous, you know? Every time I get around those guys, I have always felt like a little kid again...but it was different, yesterday. When I first got there, Jonathan was already there, and he smiled that big, warm smile of his, and embraced me. he told me how happy he was to see me, and how glad he was that I was there. We talked about a bunch of stuff...the thing I remember most vividly is that neither one of us could understand why Vin Diesel is a star.

Brent arrived, sporting a very...interesting looking goatee. They joked that it was the first itme in our history together that Brent has looked more like Robert Goulet than Jonathan has. Brent told us that he's playing a character called "The Evil [something something]" in the new Dana Carvey movie. He was hilarious, as always, and he seemed happy to see me too. They talked about the upcoming movie, how things are going with it, and marveled that I was almost 30.

Jonathan says, "Brent, do you know how old W is?"

Brent says, "Sure. He's 37. But he doesn't look it."

I say, "Brent! How did you know? I've tried so hard to keep my age a secret."

"Well, you were 22 when we started, Wil. Do the math."

Laughed my ass off. Jonathan and I talked about TNG on TNN, and how we've been watching the old shows, impressed with how well they've stood the test of time. I told him how it's strange for me to watch them, since I was so young when we did them. It's like watching a high school year book come to life, I told him. So he looks at me, and he says, "You know, all of us just got older. But you grew from child to adult. So you're the only one of us who's really changed."

That was cool. I felt, finally, accepted as an adult.

Patrick arrived, impish and mirthful, teasing everyone and stuff. He hugged Brent and Jonathan, and then fixed me with his gaze, and gave me the biggest bear hug a bald Englishman ever gave anyone. It was one of those joyous, warm, thoughful embraces that people just don't give these days. It was very cool.

We went downstairs to the ball room, and took the stage. We joked with each other, we joked with the audience, we told stories, we all teased each other...and the whole time I was thinking, "I can't farking believe that I am on stage with these guys. Holy crap!" But I kept my cool. Really, I did. Shocking thing was, when we said that we'd take questions from the audience, lots of them were for me. I couldn't believe that, with the Captain of the farking Enterprise, the most beloved character of all time, and the coolest first officer, ever, people were asking me questions. But they did. And lots of people have been to the WWDN, which was supercool, and I got to talk about the website, which was also fun. So if you were at the Galaxy Ball yesterday, and this is your first visit to my lame site, Welcome! :)

The time really flew, and when we were done, Patrick and I were walking back to the green room to get our stuff, and Patrick turned to me, and said, "Wil, I had no idea you were so funny!" He turns to Brent, and says, "Can you believe how funny he is?" Brent agreed, and I told them that that really touched me, and I had such a great time being on stage with them. Patrick told me that he was very excited when he heard that I was going to be there, because he thought I'd just vanished in the last few years.

You know, back when we were doing the shows, I always wanted to be as good an actor as Patrick, as funny as Brent, and as cool as Jonathan. So I'm getting closer to that. :)

November 9, 2001

Karma Whore

Karma Whore

Slashdot is doing "Ask Tick creator Ben Edlund anything...".

So I posted this question, which I think is funny, and I wanted to share it with you, my loyal monkey armada. :)

Loss

Loss

wilauntval (86k image)

My Aunt Val had a stroke on Monday, and she died around 1030 this morning.

I was just going to keep this to myself, but I want everyone in the world to know what an amazing, wonderful, loving, kind, thoughtful, selfless person she was. No person, anywhere, at any time in my life ever loved me as unconditionally as she did. She was truly the matriarch in my family, and, as the initial shock of her loss is wearing off, the growing sadness and emptiness is consuming me.

While she was struggling to survive on Tuesday, and was mostly unconscious, I held her hand, and Anne told her that it was our anniversary on Wednesday...she squeezed my hand, and when I told her that I loved her, and that I'd miss her if she had to go, she turned her head to me, and she smiled, and squeezed my hand, hard. It was the first time she'd been really responsive to us. I felt like she knew we were there, and I felt like she was telling me goodbye, and that she loved me. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Do not ever take anyone for granted, for even one minute. If there's someone in your family who you love, pick up the phone, and call them, right now, to tell them.

I love you, Aunt Val.

The time, has come, the Walrus said...

The time, has come, the Walrus said...

Boy, having a vacation was awesome, and very much needed. If you haven't gotten away, even if it's only for one day, with your SO, you simply must do it.

We went up north, and visited some wineries...I can't wait until I am successful enough to move the hell out of LA, and go someplace along the central coast, or even SF. I took some pictures, and posted them in the gallery.

Our server got borked while I was gone, because I was using a .vacation to send the autoresponse. I didn't know that .vacation keeps a log of everything, so I filled up /var with 79MB of needless info...so, until I figure out another way to send an autoresponse, it's gone.

I want to run a listserv, for announcements, and maybe a quarterly journal of weblog posts, and stuff...if you know of extremely easy software that I could configure and run, post it in the comments. That'd be cool.

I have some potentially MAJOR career news coming up within the next 3 to 5 days...I can't wait to post it...!

OH! I submitted a link to Fark, and it was accepted!! Woo!!!

I noticed that nobody went to loren's house, or posted lots of useless crap for him. I'm very sad.

I will be posting the next installment in the saga of SpongeBob Vega$ Pants very soon.

Let's Roll!

November 6, 2001

Make Yourself

Make Yourself

I'm out. I'm gone until Thursday, on a much needed get away with my wife.

So, while I'm gone, I thought I'd leave something interesting for you to do: You can go to the Liquid Radio Players website, and listen to the shows I've done. Funtimes.

The two shows I've done so far are "The Lust of Penelope" and "The Madness of the Horror"

They are done exactly like old timey radio shows, ala The Shadow, or The Greaseman, so you'll have to settle in, and pay close attention...but I think you'll enjoy it.

For those of you who haven't noticed, Soapbox is back.

I'm supposed to be in McPaper tomorrow, be sure to check it out.

RFB will be down, because my computer will be off. Why not listen to thepAvedearth? You'll be glad you did.

Or, you could go visit loren, and post lots of comments for him. He particularly likes jokes about monkeys. Tell him I sent you.

One last thing: Did you know that Adam Curry is posting stories about all our favorite bands, and Michael Jackson? It's true. Adam Curry was on eMpTyVee from 1987-1991, or something like that, and he's sharing stories about the bands he got to interview or hang with. My favorite so far is the story of what a freak Jacko was. Duh.

I keep asking him to post stories about Van Halen. You should ask him to post stories about Van Halen. You should call your most estranged relative, and ask them to bug Adam to post stories about Van Halen. That's the power of the internet to unite, and bring us more stories about Van Halen.

Play nice while I'm gone, and stay the hell off the couch.

November 5, 2001

How To Disappear Completely

How To Disappear Completely

When's the last time you looked at your bookmark file? I mean, really looked at it, and realized that most of your bookmarks have gone unused for months?

I did that this morning. Holy crap. I had close to 40 bookmarks that I couldn't even remember bookmarking. So, after cleaning them up, I got to thinking...I'm getting bored with my regular sites. Which is good, because I'm reading more books, seeing more of my family and seeing more sunlight.

But I had this idea: Post one link that you like, that isn't already on this site, that hasn't been posted by someone else. Maybe it will give all of us someplace new to look at. I'll send the coolest one to Fark, where it won't get posted.

I'm going out of town tomorrow until Friday, so there will be no updates to the site, and the RFB (which is up right now, btw) will be down, as well. May I suggest thepAvedearth as an alternative listen.

I'm gonna be in USAToday tomorrow or Wednesday, in the e-briefing column. Cool!

If you wanna read the EFF's analysis of the USAPATRIOT act, it's here. Scary.

Did you watch The Simpsons last night, after the game? I've never seen that one before. Brilliant!

November 4, 2001

3-2

3-2

November 3, 2001

Pac Man Fever

Pac Man Fever

So there's not too much to write about...and I was getting tired of the Baseball post sitting at the top, so...here's something for everyone to do today: play those old 80s arcade games with this java emulator. Thank you to Fark for the link.

Of course, if you find yourself waxing nostalgic for Journey and waffle cones, while you play Tempest, or Berzerk, you can tune in to RFB, which is broadcasting an 80s explosion, right now.

If you find that you need even MORE classic games, I suggest picking up a copy of MAME, and only downloading the ROMs for games you own. *ahem*

I saw the Episode II trailer today. I am not optimistic. Lord of the Rings, however, looks amazing.

One final note to parents: if your child is too young to not scream and cry the whole movie, and you need to entertain it by making baby noises for the entire film, your baby is proably not old enough for the movies, and should probably stay at home.

Thank you.

November 2, 2001

There is no crying in baseball!

There is no crying in baseball!

I've just realized why Kim has blown 2 games.

He secretly wants to come and play for the Dodgers, and get a 20 million dollar contract.

Mr. Boras? Your phone is ringing...

Bleed American

Bleed American

Stolen from loren, who gleaned it from killoggs, who found it here:

"Pro-America does not mean pro-war. Or pro-Bush. Or anti-Afghanistan. Or pro-little-flags-on-SUV-antennas.

It means thinking independently and getting better informed and filtering your news very carefully and realizing that just because one version of the American aggro attitude is currently being ramrodded down society's throat doesn't mean you have to swallow."

I'm proud to be an American.

Vogon Poetry

Vogon Poetry

Good morning, everyone.

I am recovering from those $#@!ing Yankees and their $#@!ing 'mystique' and 'aura'...

I swear, The Diamondbacks have been watching too many Dodger games, based on the way they blow 9th inning leads.

Just a reminder: The WILLIAM F***ING SHATNER and WILLIAM $#!@ING SHATNER stores are closing today, so if you want anything from there, now's the time to get it.

Don't fret: The WWDN and Posse stores are still there, and I'm working on a RFB design, too!

My fortune from last night's Panda Express Extravaganza: "Nothing can keep you from reaching your goals".

So I got that going for me, which is nice.

November 1, 2001

S! A! TUR! DAY! NIGHT!

S! A! TUR! DAY! NIGHT!

This Saturday night, at 10PM, your pal and mine, Wil Wheaton, will be performing, LIVE at the ACME Comedy theatre!

I have recently joined forces with The Liquid Radio Players. We battle evil by performing an entirely improvised 1940's-style radio play. We wear period costumes, perform with a sound effects man and musician, and there is always 1940's era entertainment, as well, like Swing Music and dancers during intermission, etc.

Here's the info:

WHAT: Liquid Radio Players

WHERE: ACME Comedy Theatre

WHEN: Saturday, 4 November 2001

WHAT TIME: 10PM

HOW MUCH: I don't know. But certainly less than buying the DVD re-release of Cleopatra Jones.

If you're in the LA area, come and see the show. You'll be glad you did! < /shiteating grin >

If you come early, you can see the 8PM "Best of" ACME sketch comedy show. It's Spud-tacular!

A Message From Robert Redford

A Message From Robert Redford

Robert Redford is one of my favorite actors of all time.

About 16 years ago, Sundance was not the disgusting marketing bonanza it has become. It was a workshop for budding filmmakers. Imagine Space Camp, but for films. Like Movie Camp, I guess. Robert Redford provided the location, and the filmmakers would go up there, and have access to *real* actors for their projects. When I was up there, I remember Karl Malden was there, Rob Lowe, Lea Thompson, Andrew McCarthy...It was 1985, I think, so you can imagine, they were a very big deal at the time. We'd work on films during the day, and we'd get to watch the projects at night, as well as screenings of popular movies, including a Q&A with the director. I seem to recall that Akira Kurosawa was there, but I was 13...so my memory is a bit hazy on that one.

None of us got paid, we just went there to participate in the workshops. It was really, really cool.

At the end of the whole session, which I think was 2 weeks, or something, Robert Redford had a big party at his house, which was on a hill overlooking the entire resort. I met him at that party, and, even though there were hundreds of people there, and I was just a snot-faced kid, he took the time to thank me for coming, and was very warm, and friendly to me. I was just excited because I was meeting the guy who played The Sundance Kid, but I managed to keep it together.

I just received the following message, written by my old pal, Robert Redford. Please read it, and act accordingly:

Dear Friend, [wil: see? he remembers me! just kidding.]

It is understandable that we Americans feel an almost reflexive need

for unanimity in trying times like these. As a nation, we are rightly

consumed with responding to the terrorist attacks on September 11th.

But, at some point -- and I think we're beginning to get there -- we

need to take a long-term view even as we are reacting to the current

crisis. Really important domestic issues facing us before all of this

happened -- education, energy and the environment, health care --

still have the same dimension and consequence. But we have to

recognize that it's much more difficult to discuss and debate them in

the aftermath of Sept. 11th. Unfortunately, disagreement is sometimes

characterized as unpatriotic during times such as these and open,

thoughtful discourse is somewhat muted. The gravity of the current

situation is not lost on any of us and we all want to do what's right

to insure our national security. It is with this in mind that I felt

compelled to write you today.

A handful of determined U.S. senators, encouraged by the White House,

are arguing that national security requires the Senate to rush a

pro-oil energy bill into law. They have vowed to hold up normal Senate

business and attach the bill to every piece of legislation that comes

to the Senate floor. So far they have failed in what The Boston Globe

is calling "oil opportunism." But with President Bush, himself, now

calling for rushed passage of this disastrous bill, intense pressure

is building on Senate leaders to succumb to the emotions of the

moment. Using our national tragedy as an opportunity to advance the

narrow interests of the oil lobby would not be in the best interest of

the public. This bill, already passed by the House, would not only

open the Arctic Refuge to oil rigs, it would also pave the way for

energy companies to exploit and destroy pristine areas of Greater

Yellowstone and other gems of our natural heritage. As important, it

would do nothing to address energy security.

I'm asking for your immediate help in stopping this legislation. After

reading my letter I hope you'll take action at

http://www.savebiogems.org/arctic/index.asp?src=ab0110a and then

forward this letter to your friends and colleagues.

Last spring, the Bush administration and some members of Congress said

we had to pass the president's oil-friendly energy bill because we

were facing the most serious energy crisis since 1973. But here we

are, a mere six months later, and the energy crisis has vanished. Due

to a slowing economy and falling demand, the prices for gasoline,

natural gas and home heating oil have plunged. Meanwhile, the

much-feared "summer of blackouts" in California never happened,

largely because consumers and businesses made dramatic cuts in energy

use by launching the most successful statewide conservation campaign

in history.

With no energy crisis to scare us with, the administration and pro-oil

senators are now promoting their "Drill the Arctic" plan under the

guise of national security and energy independence. Don't buy it. It

would take ten years to bring Arctic oil to market, and when it

arrives it would never equal more than two percent -- a mere drop in

the bucket -- of all the oil we consume each year. Our nation simply

doesn't have enough oil to drill our way to energy independence or

even to affect world oil prices.

We possess a mere 3 percent of the world's oil reserves, but we

consume fully 25 percent of the world's oil supply. We could drill the

Arctic Refuge, Greater Yellowstone, and every other wildland in

America and we'd still be importing oil, still be paying worldwide

prices for domestic oil, and still be vulnerable to wild gyrations in

price and supply. As The Atlanta Constitution put it: "Burning through

our tiny oil supply faster will not make our country more secure." I'd

go further: increasing our dependence on oil, whether that oil comes

from the Persian Gulf or the Arctic Refuge, practically guarantees

national *insecurity*. And we know that it will bring more habitat

destruction, more oil spills, more air pollution, and more global

warming. The public health implications will be devastating.

If our nation wants to declare energy independence, then we have no

choice but to reduce our appetite for oil. There's no other way. We

need to rely on smarter and cleaner ways to power our economy. We have

the technology right now to increase fuel economy standards to 40

miles per gallon. If we phased in that standard by 2012 we'd save 15

times more oil than the Arctic Refuge is likely to produce over 50

years. We could also give tax rebates for existing hybrid gas-electric

vehicles that get as much as 60 mpg. We could invest in public

transit. We could launch an "Apollo Project" to bring fuel cells and

hydrogen fuel down to earth, allowing us to begin the mass production

of vehicles that emit only water as a by-product. The list goes on and

on.

In this climate of national trauma and war, it is up to us -- the

people -- to ensure that reason prevails and our natural heritage

survives intact. The preservation of irreplaceable wildlands like the

Arctic Refuge and Greater Yellowstone is a core American value. I have

never been more appreciative of the wisdom of that value than during

these past few weeks. When we are filled with grief and unanswerable

questions it is often nature that we turn to for refuge and comfort.

In the sanctuary of a forest or the vastness of the desert or the

silence of a grassland, we can touch a timeless force larger than

ourselves and our all-too-human problems. This is where the healing

begins. Those who would sell out this natural heritage -- this

spiritual heritage -- would destroy a wellspring of American strength.

What's worse, their rush to exploit the wildness that feeds our souls

won't do a thing to solve our energy problems.

There are plenty of sensible and patriotic ways to guarantee our

nation's energy security, but destroying the Arctic Refuge is not one

of them. Please tell that to your senators. They urgently need to hear

it because the pressure is on to move this pro-oil bill to a vote in

the next few weeks. It will take you only a minute to send them an

electronic message from NRDC's SaveBioGems website.

Go to http://www.savebiogems.org/arctic/index.asp?src=ab0110a

And please forward this message to your family and friends. Millions

of Americans need to know about this cynical attempt to promote the

interests of energy companies at the expense of everyone else.

Sincerely yours,

Robert Redford

Steamer Trunk

Steamer Trunk

Today was a good day. I didn't even have to use my A-K.

It was also a good day because my friend Keith's TV show got pick of the week in the LA Weekly, wherein they call him "local hero"! Yay Keith!

In the same article, my friends at ACME, who are in the Sunday Show, got the Pick of the Week for comedy.

I am so proud of my friends! Kick ass you guys!!!

Can I paint your chair?

Can I paint your chair?

If anyone has been laboring under the delusion that I am now, or ever was cool, you need to see this.

Hey, this will be fun...if you've found a SUPER CHEESY image of yours truly, upload it here. I'll post the cheesiest one in a future entry, and I'll even write a story, inspired by the photo. Upload images, not links, if ya can.

240 dollars worth of puddin

240 dollars worth of puddin

Over at Fark, we've been talking about me being on Weakest Link.

Somehow, the conversation has morphed into a "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon" discussion...boy, I love that game. You all know it, right?

A was in [movie] with B.

B was in [TV Show] with C.

C was in [prison] with Kevin Bacon.

So A is 2 degrees of Kevin Bacon.

Wanna know how many degrees of Kevin Bacon I am? Click [link] or [comment], and you can read it there.

I am in "She's Having a Baby" with Kevin Bacon.

That means everyone I've ever worked with is 1 degree away from Kevin Bacon. You have no idea how excited this makes people.