WIL WHEATON dot NET: 1.5

ok.. so I have no comment.. but I saw that I could be first.. so I had to say Hi!

Hi

oh wait.. about the cat.. maybe the litter isn't to his liking? or maybe it smells a little? Would recommend the self cleaning littermaid.. works pretty good if you have a small cat.

ok wil, so are you so hard up for something to type that you must post the same thing twice??? :)

cats smell. that's just what they do. pee on things and shred things. i didn't know they served any other function.

going on stage for a short time smelling like cat pee is bad, but standing on an altar for three hours in a very close proximity to priests...is much much worse :p

OMG, I think I'm gonna choke on my apple...cat pee and polyester...euuck...

That's the thing with cats... they have the talent to never pee where they are supposed to; and believe me, they are highly creative when it comes to picking a new spot for their business !
A friend of mine has two dogs and two cats in his house, and you wouldn't believe me from which strange places we have had to remove the "leftovers" of the damned cats : Under the bed, on the mousepad, in front of the TV, next to the VCR, in the laundry bag, NEXT to the cat box (that was the closest these devils ever got...)and so on ! ! !
We are still hoping that the dogs will one day just have these cats for dinner, but I heavily doubt that, since they secretly seem to laugh at us behind our backs when we once again stroll around the house on our "Where does that smell come from this time ? ? ?" patrols...

LOL. At least you didn't try to outdo your wife. The cat pee story was just amusing enough to break the teary eyed, lovie dovey theme going. :-)

Well, the show must go on...

My experieinces include the set crashing around me as someone bumped into it. One of my cast mates being actually stabbed when the knife was SUPPOSED to be fake... THANK GOD it was his arm. Ive seen back stage collisions that left actors stagger onto stage. And by far the coolest was a scene of a play we did my senior year. There was this climax scene where the whole play changes and my friend is climbing this incredible structure, we are all knelt at the bottom yelling at her, the lights are flashing. Stairway to heaven blasting in the back ground... The song hits its last notes as she reaches the top, and boom... the light above her EXPLODES ! It was an amazing affect ! And all though she was scared shitless she let the show go on !

What is worse than the smell of cat pee? Well, the smell of cat pee mingled w/ that wonderful odor of a dairy farm -cows- in the summer. My best friends have 2 cats & live on a dairy farm. Hmm, well, my commute to/from work takes me thru by pig farms. I think that's worse. Yeah, pigs smell the worst. No, wait, the building where I work in Philadelphia -there is a seafood restaurant there. On every other day but Tuesday its not a problem -but Tuesday is trash-day. During the summer I dread going to work on Tuesdays. Ok. Don't know why I had to share that. Yes I do. I'm bored. I hope there are more posts soon to entertain me.

Cats are evil agents of the alien invasion that is coming to your town. They lick the butter, too.

My cat used to do that all the time. Boy do I not miss those days. You can't ever get the smell out of your clothes either. Ugh.

Actually on the other end of the spectrum, the BEST cat I ever ever had was my grey lad Tiger, who lived with us for over a decade.

He was found as an orphan in a field and about a week later we found a lab puppy named Cinnamon. Cinnamon never figured out she was a dog, Tiger was so cool, she wanted to be a cat. (Imagine full sized lab lounging on top of couch...like a cat)

Anyway... BOTH of them learned to leave their messes in the bathtub (yes the tub!)... made for easy clean-up and our house and stuff never smelled like a cat or a dog. We never intended for it, it started with us leaving the litterbox there and they both just decided to use the larger space...wild, no?

Bummer about Felix being a weiner... but maybe try for some retraining... or he's made you didn't give him a day at the spa? :)

Take care...
***The Beej***

The cat pee story is oh-so-appropriate for me this morning. I got woken up to the horrible sound of a cat puking beside my bed. I have the day off, so it's a day I can sleep in, so of course I have to get up at 8am to clean up cat puke. Nevermind it was on the hubby's side of the bed. He claimed a dental appointment as an excuse for not being his turn to clean it up. Bah.

Now I can't sleep, so I head online and read weird stuff at Fark, and then find a cat pee story on WWDN. At least your story was funny Wil. Mine was just pukey. Sigh.

For having nothing to write, you sure pulled out... something. Though I don't know if cat pee was what I really wanted to read about. Though I suppose if people have to skim through my nothing ramblings in the comments section, then you can write about cat pee.

This is why dogs rule! :D

I'm glad that Anne's enjoying reading all the comments. But has she gotten to "Lermontov" yet? That will be the true test of her mettle!

Meanwhile, I continue to be amazed that when I started writing this, there were 4 comments and now when I'm ready to post, there's like 8 more. I need to type faster...

Since everyone's going for one-upsmanship on the cat pee story:

My folks used to have a Siamese named Phoebe who liked to pee on the burners for the electric stove.

Cooked cat pee. MMMMMMMM! Not.

As for 'The Show Must Go On', you're totally right. Sometimes you have to suck it up for the good of the art. I can't one-up the cat pee shirt story though... :)

Damn, when am I going to LEARN not to read your blog when I'm eating or drinking something? I nearly snarfed my lunch.

At work, no less.

I don't want this to turn into a cat-hating thread. I love cats. They are awesome.

At least their bad smells can be cleaned up. Dogs just smell bad as a rule.

Well, unless you feed them people food. Then dogs don't smell doggy. Makes you wonder that if people ate dog food, they'd smell doggy too.

Ewww. Dog food.

Mmmm. Dog food.

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet mignon. Hold head vertically and pour ½ pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture store on way home to order new table.

Bwhahaaa...
Julie.. i had such a moment of Thundercats Zen when you said Snarfed.
okay.. thanks.

Whew.. Gods my first "the show must go on" momment happened the 2nd night of my show, "It's Raining In Jersey" when one of my actors on cue fell where he was supposed to.. but one of our set pieces didn't get moved with the last cue to it's rightful spot.. and nearly scalped my actor.
But he gets up and keeps going.. meanwhile the audience is getting edgy.. there's a neat pool of blood on the floor (sidenote- brand new stage- 3rd largest stage in a non arena place in Columbus- and i christened the sucker!).
I spent about 5 mins of that night with my heart in my throat.
We had two nurses in the audience and everthing was fine. Damn actors bleed alot.
Could of been worse.. heart attack at 18. Oy.

teheee.. cat pee.. glad i have doggies who only have a liking for stealing thong undies.
Swear they're reincarnated lesbians. ^_^;;;

-K
www.soulcracker.com
only the cool lose on VH1

All I can say to Alans story is ... OUCH... i hurt myself laughing.

As someone who owns 4 incredibly territorial cats, I feel your pain.

I highly recommend the following:

Costco-sized crates of Nature's Miracle
A small steam cleaner
A large steam cleaner
one of those automatic-clean catbox thingys

Oh, and don't ever leave a basket of clean laundry within cat reach. :)

My inlaws had a cat (Niko) that decided he would teach them a lesson about bringing a baby into the house and taking attention away from the Niko. Niko started urinating anywhere but the litter box and turned completely anti-socail (wasn't the most friendly cat to begin with). That only lasted for a week or so before Niko took a one-way car ride to the vet's. Ever since then, the in-laws other cat (Sammy) has become the friendliest feline you've ever laid eyes on.

Roughy's cats aren't all that bad either. He beats the living daylights out of them, although he calls it "playing", and they come back for more.

Thanks Wil!

My cat peed in my bookbag once when I was in Junior High. Man, that was awful. I didn't even know it until I got to school and went to take some books out in first period. I pulled open the top of that sucker and WHOOOWEEEEE!!! Everyone around me could smell it! It was horrible. The worst part was my homework was right on top and I had to turn it in. The teacher wasn't real happy with that one. Needless to say, if I ever told her "the cat peed on my homework" after that, she believed me.

To quote my favourite author
"...cats only tolerate humans until someone invents a can opener that can be operated by a paw..."

cat pee.

Bad memories.

Coming downstairs to the living room, sitting on the couch, pulling the blanket over myself, only to discover it was wet with, cat pee.

Damn cat had some sort of emotional problem. Always peeing on my TV comforter. (You know the one you watch movies under.) Or the couch. Not my cat, not my couch, but MY COMFORTER. And not just the once either. Every day until I wised up and stuffed in in the closet every time I left the room. Then the best part is the little package she left on my brand new swank black leather briefcase. Apparently, during the time while I was de-scenting the carpet and the couch (about a two hour process), she decided she had to go, and her favorite spot (under the desk) smelled too good, but dead cow, that's a good place to go.

If you have a weak stomache, don't read the rest of the paragraph, just skip on. Yeah, the cat, who crapped on my briefcase? Not having a happy bowel day that day. Quite liquidly.

Oh, and did the employed guy that owned the cat (me being a student at the time) offer to have it cleaned? Or even offer to clean it off for me? Nope, yours truely (allergic to cats, and living with two) did.

I like cats, I really do. I just refuse to ever live with one again.

O

Why this attack on cats? Dogs are so much worse. At least most cats practice non-interference as a rule. And don't shred Christmas gifts whenever you leave the house. But that's not what I want to post about.

A friend of mine has a very large golden lab named Indiana Jones. This dog is big. It goes where it wants to go. And I happened to spend a weekend at her place a few years ago during a time when her dog was on flea medication. You know, stick a pill in your dog's mouth once a day for a week, and he'll be flealess for a year.

What they don't tell you is that the flea medication causes some sort of chemical reaction wherein your dog emits a *putrid* odor from his body for an entire week. This was much worse than cat pee, ladies and gentlemen. And, unlike a cat, Indiana Jones was impossible to push away - he weighed more than I do.

*gag*

I'm allergic to cats.
Even though this has nothing to really do with your topic of cat urine, I felt it needed to be shared.

Also, Petsmart some good stuff for getting out stains and urine smell from carpets and clothes.
Just worth a mention.

That is a fairly decent sized post for someone with "UPN ratings for ideas." ^_^

Some dog owners will no doubt scoff and point to this as why dogs are so much better. They lie. Now let me preface this by saying that I love my Adi, a German Shepherd/Collie mix. She is fun. Most of the time. But, she is VERY submissive. She knows that she is the omega and I am the alpha. On the upside, this means she is fairly obedient most of the time. On the downside, when she gets nervous, she will squat down and pee, a sign of submission amongst Canine-Americans.

The worst happened two days ago. Adi HATES to take pills. Up until recently, my wife and I have been able to disguise the pills with peanut butter and a treat. But she must have figured us out because when I went to give her pill, instead of trotting into the kitchen like she normally does when she knows she is getting a treat, she skulked towards the kitchen, head down, ears plastered back. I knew what was coming. She squatted down in the hall just outside the kitchen, and let forth a flood unlike any St. Louis has seen since the summer of '93. That was fun the clean up.

I love my dog. I really do.

From what I read, you are taking that cat pee pretty light. I don't think that I would have been as nice about the cat #1. peeing onthe dinner table, and #2. peeing on my shirt that I had to wear for a production.

Has anyone here read "A Staggering Work of Heartbreaking Genius"?

"Your hat smells like urine..."

My roommate's cat has litterbox anxiety. He will only defecate in the middle of our downstairs bathroom floor. Why do we have pets again?

Hmm. I don't even have a cat pee story. My 2 cats have never peed anywhere other than the litter box. Maybe it's because they are female and don't do the territory marking thing.

Know what I like about cats? Kittens learn housebreaking from their moms. You don't have to do a thing. After trying (unsuccessfully I might add) to completely housebreak a dog, having cats was such a relief.

Cat puke stories I got (see above). Mmmm... hairballs.

Yuk. What a gross thing to write about. Why do I keep coming back? Why do I keep adding to the gross-ness? Oh yeah... I don't have a show-must-go-on story. Time to join a theatre group. :-)

Ooh Interplanet Janet... I got that book for xmas. Maybe I should start reading it. Finally! I've got something else to do this morning. Hah! No more cat puke stories from me.

*everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief*

Kath-
Yeah, but you have to admit, Indiana Jones probably really wanted to be your friend! :)

Seriously though, dogs aren't exempt. When we first got our dog from a friend, he had gone through quite a bit in his short life, from hip surgery to living in a frat house to living with someone's mom. Long story short, he had been around quite a bit-same owner, just new surroundings every few months.

Finally when we got him, we made the mistake of letting him have the run of the house while we went to work or went out somewhere. After all, he had already been housebroken, right?

Well one day he must have just totally flipped out from being alone in a new place and just let it all out. Everything. All over the place.

On the stairs.

On the fireplace.

In the living room.

By the doorwall.

In the kitchen.

Near the heater vent (but thank God not IN the heater vent!)

And to quote Oliana, he was not having a happy bowel day.

Four years later, my dog is one of the most awesome pets a 21 month old girl could have. But I just cannot look at chocolate pudding anymore because of the flashbacks it gives me.

Let the dog vs. catfight, er...cat fight, begin!

A real fun game for the feline owner is "Where Did The Furball Pee?" Our old cat (now deceased, we miss her very much) would find some odd place to cut loose if she felt her litter box wasn't clean enough. We'd either come home to the putrid odor wfting through the air, or wake up in the morning and instantly have watering eyes, and then would have to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to pinpoint *where* she had gone... face it, left long enough the odor permeates the entire house. At some point in life she decided any towel was good enough, and if there as towel where she could get to it, The Boy's clothes on his bedroom floor were a nice substitute. :)

With the new PsychoKitty, we paid the big bucks and bought one of those self cleaning boxes, and it's been worth every penney--excepe when we had him declawed and he wasn't allowed to use it. Poor thing held it til he dang near popped...

Now the dog is easy, just toss him outside. But he eats his own poop, so it's a little more gross than cat pee...

Nevermind. I've got "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" instead. Must be a different book. ;-)

What?? You know another Dara? Does she have a website or anything?

I ask only because my younger sister has the same name, and has been cursing our parents for 25 years about their selection of names. Any time i run across another Dara, she gets all happy happy joy joy. :)

Go to the pet store and get some one of the enzyme-based cleaners. They work wonders, and don't require washing of the item enzymed.

'Nature's miracle' is the brand I've used. Amazing stuff.

http://www.unrealisticexpectations.com/logimages/roughy1.jpg

This is the face of Roughy. The real Roughy.

The cat from which I steal my monicker.

This is the face of Cat Urine.

Cat pee, ah the memories.

Please Spudnuts save us!

I didn't know that some cats don't go in the litter box. Of course I haven't had a reason to think about it. Odd. Your pretty brave to have gone on with the show. It would've made me gag.
Don't worry about having nothing to write. If you
don't think about it will happen.
Saxamaphone, saxamaphone.

http://www.unrealisticexpectations.com/logimages/thelion.jpg

This is the face of a Cat Pissed because he got too many knots and required a shave.

Beat that!

CATS RULE!!! What did you do to the cat Wil?
Poor Felix...Is he neutered? Horrible smell tho.
Try different litter..Take care..

Wow. I have two cats, and they never pee in random spots. About a year ago we got the second one, and the first one that we've had for about 8 years decided to show her dominance by peeing in _his_ box, but nowhere else. We've never had a problem with them. I guess I should consider myself lucky. Although there was this one time this summer... we went out of town for a three-day weekend. We didn't have anyone come check on the cats... I mean, they're not like dogs, they're perfectly happy to be left to themselves. We left a few big tubs of food and water and two clean litterboxes downstairs. Well apparently they got in a fight (not the best of friends, these two) and somehow the door between the basement and upstairs got shut. The older one got stuck upstairs without a box for the weekend. She had food and water, but no box, so the carpet by the garage had to substitute. We were not happy when we opened the door and smelled her mess. I'm thinking the laundry room still has the faint smell of cat urine... not cool. But that's all... so I guess I'm lucky that that's the only problem I've had.

Have a nice day :)

Wil's story makes me think of my dogs.

They're not very good at that whole house-training thing.

Neurotic little fucks.

Oh well.

They can be SO cute, though. Oh! They're just darling.

Ok, I really need to write my paper now.

Toodles.

Oh, and I would suggest getting a new shirt. Whenever you wear this cat-pee one, that's all you'll think about and you won't have fun.

Oh, and dog or cat pee bleaches wool carpets.

Right then. Have a nice day.

Bluevangogh: There is always DJ Dara. She plays drum and bass and has a CD out on Moonshine (the Brittney Spears of electronic music labels). Buy it at Amazon or something, I dunno.

OH yeah,

Wil, at your recommendation, I downloaded some J.E.W. last nite... how have I been missing this? These guys are awesome! Oh, yeah, Columbia, Missouri has shit for radio stations. that's how I've been missing out. Dammit... you'd think the biggest college town in the state would have at least one, non-country, non-pop radio station... ugh.

Just a thought, if you don't have multiple litter boxes.. get another one. Some kitties don't like to go where others have gone. Also, when you clean the table, use enzyme-based products. They are made for cleaning things like that(pee)! If you already know/have tried this... disregard this paragraph...

Thanks for reminding me that I need to change Skittles' litter.

My curious cat and his muddy paws,my new neighbor the police officer, his wifes white car, and an open garage door that later becomes closed. A cautionary tale in neighborly relations.

When the bullets start flying and the bombs are exploding, I want Wheaton in my platoon. Anyone who would go on stage smelling of cat pee would surely dive on a live hand grenade or charge a machine gun nest armed only with a can of SPAM.

Shammie asked me to give you her regards. "Hi, Mr. Wheaton", sez Shammie.

You want a bad start to your morning? Try waking up with dog crap ON your bed. Yep, my dog decided he wasn't going to even try to wake me up, instead he unloaded himself on my bed. Thank God I didn't roll over into it!

"I woke up this morning to find my entire dining room table covered in cat pee."

This, my friends, is why I have fish. They don't eat much, they don't pee, they don't bite. They even get excited when I come home. (OK, I know that's just because they know that person=food, but it's still nice to be appreciated!)

OK, back to the subject at hand... cat pee...

Rabbit pee smells just as bad, and they are even less likely to use a litter box than the cat. Plus, they leave you little presents EVERYWHERE.

Bleh.

I love my sisters' rabbits, but I can't stand their hygiene.

Larry was my cat from the day he was born. He crawled into my hand at two weeks of age, opened his little eyes, and thus was born unconditional love. Oh, sure, he nursed his mom for a while, but after that he was my Little Boy. He was with me through my first newspaper job, stayed at my feet during graduate school, and cheerfully helped with my thesis research. He even braved the bowels of a big airplane in order to move to our new home, thousands of miles from his birth place.

I'll never forget his face when he spotted me at the airline hangar where he was waiting for me after emerging from the belly of the beast -- he was, as they say, all over me like a cheap suit!

Three years ago, Larry (at age 18) developed a wasting disease that robbed him of his dignity (and ability to make it to the box on time). We did everything we could for him, including special diet, drugs, and much loving and petting.

Finally the day came when we knew that we had to do for him what was required. When we took him into our home and lives, we (perhaps unknowingly) agreed that we would responsible for all aspects of his life. And that meant returning him to the cosmos when he was too old to go on any further.

It was one of the hardest things we ever did. On the vet's table (which was covered with a snuggly blanket) he snuggled up to my waist, butting his head against my hand for support. At that moment, the memory of all the messes he made lost importance in view of this larger step we were all taking together.

As he went to sleep a final time, we wept for our loss and said goodbye. We soothed our pain with music after that -- listening to "The Swan of Tuonela" as we drove through the countryside on a warm, colorful October afternoon.

Larry is always with us, and it never mattered to me what he did because he loved us and we loved him as a member of our family.

The rabbits' hygiene, that is. (;

Poor Wil. My cat peed on my ex-boyfriend's coat, so in that case it wasn't a tragedy, but...

Hey, you're a great guy and an amazingly progressive thinker and civil liberties advocate, so what's with the use of the word "gay" as synonym for "undesirable"? Gay kids (and adults) read you too.

/off soapbox Keep up the awesome blog. It's my favorite daily read.

hey wil - sorry about detouring from the pet peeing stories but,
"boy, that description really makes it sound gay, doesn't it? Trust me it was fairly cool."

does gay equal uncool?

say it ain't so.

Sorry to hear about the cat pee on the table. My cat used to leave little turd presents on my bed, and I'd find them just as I was about to go sleep. There's nothing worse than having to change your sheets at 2 in the morning when you're dead tired. Well, of course, there are worse things, but you know what I mean.

Great story about the polyester shirt!

I assume your friend gagging from the smell of the black cat pee shirt made at least a few members of the audience laugh more. So it cpuldn't been too bad. Although I am. ;-)

I think Wil's using the term "gay" in the same way my 30something siblings do. It's an 80's thing.

I don't quite get it, but I think Uncle Willy gets to use it.

Wil wouldn't be derogatory.

Wellllll....

Maybe. But I can't say for sure.

:)

Snootchies

Rabbit pee story:

My husband's family used to own a bunch of rabbits which they kept in cages in the garage.

There was one very territorial male who did not like the scent of another male of ANY species in "his" area.

So one day my father in law who is a goalie in a old timer league hung up his equipment to dry in the garage.

The darned rabbit somehow managed to pee out of his cage, right across the room and onto the goalie pads.

Yuck, like the old-guy sweat didn't make them smell bad enough.

Oh and I have a show must go on story (well actually a few, but only one for now). During the final performance of one of the plays our youth theatre group put on the sets were so unstable that any actors who were not on stage were holding some piece up so that it did not collapse. I'm just glad it was the last night.

Sigh, I really miss doing theatre stuff.

Sounds like a security thing to me. Cats do that when they're feeling insecure. Whatever you do, don't use any ammonia-based cleaners, cause that's the main component of cat pee. Simple Solution is good (enzyme based).

I will never have a boy cat again. My girl cats never pee on anything (unless the catbox is due for a change, and then, hey, I'd do that too if I were them).

I'm sure Wil wouldn't intentionally dis... though I *could* honestly see a shirt like that in the SF Pride Parade...

your shirt story makes me wonder if you blame it on your dog every time you fart.

Re: Cats vs. Dogs,

A dog thinks, "Hey, this lady brings me food, water, toys, and gives me a place to sleep. She must be a god!"

A cat thinks, "Hey, this lady brings me food, water, toys, and gives me a place to sleep. *I* must be a god!"

There are few things worse than cat pee. Ick.
♥Brandee~

Wil, you mentioned Anne's post, and even though I haven't been here in a dog's age, I come back on ocassion to poke around, so I went over to read a few of the comments (including yours).

Anne's experience with "the web" and computers in general sounds similar to my own wife's trepidation. About four years ago I introduced Cris (my wife) to the computer (prior to that time it was known as the square-headed girlfriend in my house). It didn't take right away. She wasn't impressed with word processing (she has perfect spelling and grammer - unlike your's truely - and doesn't need more than a typewritter to produce a great looking document). But, over time, I won her over to the dark side.

What really got her hooked were chat rooms and artist's personal web sites (she has a master degree in Fine Art (Painting)). She is now more internet savvy than I am (she has several web pages, while the best I can do is a crappy "geobuilder" or similar web page).

How did I solve the problem of the monster I had created? Well, in order to get any play time for myself after I had hooked her up, I made a second computer (hey, I may not know any programming language other than Pascal, but I know hardware).

It's a slipperly slope my friend. One short year after I first introduced her (and subsequently had to furnish her with her own PC), she was coming to me asking why we didn't have a high-speed connection. So yes, for the past three years I have been maintaining his and her computers, a LAN for them to share and a high speed cable/DSL router with DNS capabilities so we can both get on-line at once.

I guess what I'm saying is, be careful what you wish for...

Roy G

acks! someone else who shops at hot topic? dare I hope it's true. course all the stuff I buy there I can't wear to school. for some reason I don't see my principal liking my pleather pants too much. alothough last year he didn't seam to mind the maroon hair... what can I say I am trying to be hip at 23 lol

amellia

Two things you should know about cat pee...

1: They don't like perfumed litter. It is as offensive to their noses as cat pee is to yours. You might have more catbox luck if you go to a natural litter. A friend of mine just compromised with a natural litter made out of 100% pressed pine, and she no longer spends half the week washing the rug.

2: Peeing obnoxiously can be a warning of ill health in your cat - the two most common maladies are a urinary tract infection and diabetes. Pay attention to your cat's drinking habits - does it seem like that's an awful lot of water for such a little critter? Did it used to have good clean kitty habits that have changed? Has the cat gained weight lately? Is there "oh my god let me out RIGHT NOW!" behavior? Has the shinyness or texture of the kitty's coat changed? If so, take it to the vet. You know diabetes is serious, but remember, a cat's urinary tract is very short, and that sort of infection can scar your kitty's kidneys quickly.

As for my cat pee story - one night I was sleeping on my sister's couch after a long night of martinis and girltalk. I'm four sheets to the wind, man, out cold, and I sort of vaguely feel the cat climb onto the couch beside me. "cool", I think, "kitty still likes me when I'm drunk" And kitty is very warm. And large, too. Seems like kitty has climbed up on top of me while I'm drunk and melted, or something. Wait, what's that smell? WTF? Nono, man, DID YOUR F**KING CAT JUST PISS ON ME!???!

Someday, when that cat is old and decrepit and can't move I'm going to squat on her basket in the middle of the night and return the favor.

Roy G:

That's a really funny story. My husband also made the mistake of introducing me to computers and more frighteningly the net. This was back in 93 with a 2400 baud modem, but it didn't matter, I was hooked and I still am. Now I make web pages for a living and can find a ridiculous amount of (usually accurate) information very quickly online. I still think he's more geeky because he can spend all day programming without stopping to eat or anything, but I certainly spend more time on the web and I think it's the one techie thing I know more about than he does.

See, cats just smell. IMHO. I like other peoples' cats, so I'm sure I would like all of your feline mates. What I like about them is that I can play with it all I want, then walk out of your house and the cat stays there.

I've had two cats in my lifetime. The one, named Igor, I loved. I don't remember it smelling, but eventually it got super old and sick, just like animals do, and we took it and had it put down. I think I was 5 at the time.

The other cat's name was Cat. I lie not. It was great for a while, went outside to go to the bathroom, came inside to chill out. Nice cat, yet smelly. We had a cat box for him to use as he got older (about 2 years ago), but he insisted on peeing on top of the washing machine instead. Cat eventually disappeared, we haven't seen him in a year. He was old though, prolly went away to die, poor thing. But after much scrubbing, bleaching, vinegaring, more scrubbing, the washing machine still smells like cat pee. It's disgusting. Thank God it's only on the top.

Point? I'm a dog person, but I still find the cat pee story amusing on pure "I understand" principle.

Whoops! Thanks Mandy, I didn't even notice my error. Jeez, I hope Dave Eggers doesn't read these boards....

For some reason, my cats are doing the same thing right now. I've had Pixel and Vector for four and a half months now (they're roughly 8 months old now) and last night was the first night I've ever heard that hacking/coughing late at night which signifies that you should look down when walking around and never have bare feet in the apartment.

Sorry to hear about the hat, though. I've been reading the site occasionally for a while, and never knew you were involved with them until going through the archives. I guess I just have selective reading. I've followed Scot Rubin & crew (Josh Krane and Jim Downs are also a part of it) over from the All Games Network. I heard you're working with Jim.

The stinky polyester rings a bell...Being in college marching band for 5 years will allow you to experience some of the great smells that wool polyester can make if you don't dryclean it after every football game...(And what college student can afford to dryclean every week? There's beer to be had!)

I can't believe it took roughly 65 posts before someone mentioned a urinary tract infection (UTI) in cats.

My friend has a cat that was peeing everywhere but in the litterbox. They were very mad at it. I told them "you know, my sister's cat had the same problem. And, just like her cat, I bet yours has a UTI." "No no!" She told me. "It's just a BAD kitty, now." Of course, it turns out the cat DID have a UTI and had they just taken it to the vet sooner they would have saved themselves a lot of stink and anger. As for my sister, she waited so long they had to put it down because it was THAT sick and she never knew until the end.

The lesson, take your cat to the vet. It may cost more in money than sitting around cleaning, getting mad, and bitching... but it COULD save both you and the kitty a lot of discomfort and anger. And if it's not a UTI (or anything else medical) then the only thing you've lost is a little cash.

Can cats get yeast infections, too?

ewwwwww...

*bwahahaha* That's a pretty funny story. Cats rock.

Sometimes the show should just go on sans one black, sparkle, feline urine soaked shirt.

Ijust remembered a old bumper sticker:

"DOGS HAVE OWNERS.CATS HAVE "STAFF"."

Cat pee is definitely no fun. Ever take a black light and wave it over your carpet and upholstery to find cat pee spots? It's amazing how far that crap gets.

Anyhoo, anyone try that Tidy Cat Crystal stuff? My co-worked got 'em, and since I often cat-sit for her, I got to see 'em in action. Pretty cool stuff, no stink.

Luckily, my cat now only pees outdoors. At least I think so.

What's worse? When a hamster (or gerbil or chinchilla...) pees in your hands.

Bleh!

Thanks for the laughs! I really needed them today. Seems like the day has been one computer problem after another and suddenly I'm the office tech.

You know, it's very hard to stiffle a hardy burst out loud laugh when the office manager happens to working on the other computer in my office with her back to me. I've got to start reading these posts on my lunch hour. (wait...didn't someone mention something about lunch coming out of their nose already?) Well, I'm sure I'll figure something out.

I love cats but I'm allergic to them. When it comes to the cats or dogs issue, I'm definitely a dog person all the way.

Lenna

Yo, thanks for the traffic map. I had no idea it existed. This will help tremendously...I no longer have anticipation fear of the 405!

Since the topic of cat piss was brought up.

A alter boy was given a job to do. He was supposed to come out once the church choir started so sing and light the candles. That was it. Easy enough.

The boy is ready in the back playing with Figero, the pastor's cat, and the choir started to sing. "Light The Candles. Light the candles."

The choir waits for him to come out but nothing happens.

The sing louder "LIGHT THE CANDLES. LIGHT THE CANDLES"

Nothing happens the boy doesn't come out.

They sing louder "LIGHT THE CANDLES. LIGHT THE CANDLES"

But this time somethign happens. They hear the boy begin to sing. "THE CAT PISSED ON THE MATCHES. THE CAT PISSED ON MATCHES"

I meant to put FutureWonder under name. Dang it.

First of all, I am not a cat person.

Wil or any of you, have you tried or thought about wiring/networking your house to make it "internet/computer ready" with network jacks instead of the usual telephone and/or cable jacks in most rooms? My hubby is totally planning to do it in our new house and I'm really excited! This way if he needs to work at home, he can hook up his laptop wherever I happen to be, instead of sitting in our home office. Working long hours, we really appreciate the time we can spend together.

And Wil, as a wife of a fellow "computer geek" I so appreciate my own computer, networked to my hubby's.

Brandee-
"There are few things worse than cat pee. Ick."

I was trying not to remember the smell in the hotel bathroom in PA the morning after one of the opening acts for SC used our tub as a toliet and didn't "flush".

Ah those Bronx rockers.... oy.

-K
www.soulcracker.com
only the cool lose on VH1

Can only say I can relate man. Went to work one rainy day and thought my only problem was a wet sock, as did not know fave shoes had sprung a leak. So I get to work thinking hey it's not so bad, can buy new socks at lunch or it will dry. But then I notice - well - that same kinda smell you noticed...on my lovely black (tight) sweater. (I have to lay it out to dry as it can't go in the dryer, and I guess one of my darling mewmews - er - rubbed herself on it.) So there I am, wet sock and cat pee shirt, thinking oh yeah where is Bridget Jones when you feel just like her? Good luck with getting your cat to use the box, by the way! Cheers.

When my cat did then the vet told me to move his litter box as it meant he didn't like where it was. So I moved it to another room and haven't had a problem since.

Cat smell can be avoided if you find the spot before it dries. Soak up as much as you can with a towel first(was right away), then pour baking soda over the spot and let that soak up whats left for atleast an hour. After letting it set, just vacuum up the baking soda. I do have a cat that liked to mark her scent before I got her fixed. There is a smell worse than cat pee; human pee. When my son switched schools, because we moved, he had a hard time adjusting. For some reason he decided to cope by peeing in odd places. One time he decided to pee in a bucket of legos and hid it in the back of his closet. That is the most rancid smell ever!! That smell took a s***load of bleach to get rid of.

Be kind to cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.

Hmm i haven't been here in awhile. I wonder if anyone actually reads this thing.

Anyways, this is just a test to see how many people will click my link, although i bet I would get more clicks if i was one of the first to post a comment.

....And what exactly is wrong with a "gay" shirt?? ;)

Dude.... That's just wrong.

funny, but wrong.

ACK.
I have several cat pee stories, most of them involve some cats that were dumped on myself and my roommates at the time. The owner was in the process of breaking up with her partner, so she needed someone to "take care" of her pets. I don't think we ever saw her again.

3 cats, 3 troublemaking cats. The one cat we initially had in the house was well behaved. The 3 newcomers were HELLIONS, execpt for one, I actually liked him... for a while.

It was tight quarters in that place, most of my stuff was in a small closet downstairs. Well, I reach into my closet one day to pull something out, and that distinct "aroma" hit me full in the face. After a bit of diggin around i found several articles of clothing, and MY FAVORITE AD&D character had been desecrated by this evil imp in feline guise. This character was written out in full detail. I had kept notes on everything, including personal spells, write-ups on magic items, etc. It took me over a week to copy everything to fresh, clean sheets, all the while having to suffer the olfactory assault from demonkitty's bowels.

I Hate that cat.

Just a quick suggestion to those of you with wayward kitties; if a cat is de-clawed it will often reject it's litter box throughout it's life. Something about the litter hurting their paws. If your cat is de-clawed try using sand or shredded newspaper in the box instead of litter. It's more paw friendly. I've seen and heard of more good cats being put down because their owners thought the cat was deliberately refusing to use the box when it fact it was the act of the owners de-clawing the animal that caused the problem in the first place. Of course the vet is ALWAYS a good option for cats with box problems. Check it all out before you assume they are hopeless or Wil, in your case, before you lose any more articles of clothing.

Ugh, Wil your so ignorant. How can a shirt look "gay"? Is it homosexual towards other shirts? Stop trying to purpotrate like some open-minded activist meanwhile offending others. Can a shirt look Spanish? What about Heterosexual? I'm not gay but I have friends who are (and don't wear outragous clothes or act stereotypically feminine) and its people like you who make people like them have a suicide rate three times that of other kids. Forget you dude....

-Cardonia Natal-Pretorian

ok, hold it.

Don't get your panties in such a knot over wording like that. The fact is there is some clothing that heterosexual people tend not to wear. So what if a person says it looks "gay?" I have seen clothing that looks ethinic, and I sure as hell see clothing that I consider to be NOT what a heterosexual person would normally choose to wear. Oh, and before you get upset about what I'm saying, I will tell you that I myself am Bi, and I see it from both sides.

Some of my best friends are gay, and even THEY will describe certain clothes as looking "gay." It's not a bad thing, it's just a personal observation.

Look, it isn't Wil's place to say whats gay and whats not yo. Shit he ain't gonna tell me, your ass should be offended. He needs to either shut the fuck up with the self-ritiousness or lay it on the table and say the dude hates anyone who's not a white, straight, agnostic, actor...straight up. Im sorry but I'm offended as shit for my friends so I'm not trying to sound ghetto/loud but that set me off and I feel betrayed from what I thought of him.
-Cardonia

Okay.

Apparently we have:

A. Not so clever trolls

or

B. Insanely sensitive crybabies

or

C. Ignorant people who don't bother to read the whole website.

Let me spell this out for you, children:

I am the most progressive, sensitive, pro-equal-rights person I know. I meant nothing "anti-gay" by my remarks, and if you'd taken the time to read more of my writings, you'd get that.

Look beyond your own reactionary world-view, and think for a second: "Maybe Wil didn't mean anything by that, and maybe I could seek some clarification before I hide behind my keyboard and judge people."

I realize it takes more work to think things through, but we'd all be better off if we did.

And if you're going to post your assumption-based rantings, have the courage to sign an email address or website, you champion of equal-rights.

Cardonia:

If you have been here awhile or read the soapbox/archives you have to know Wil is not at all like you describe him. If you have a problem with the term he used talk about that, don't diss him. I have heard 'gay' used in that way all over the place. I don't know where it comes from or the history of it's use, so I can't comment on whether it's good or bad. Wil has always been very inclusive on his site if you look around you will see that. I can't imagine him hating anyone much, if you feel offended and want an apology then write to him personally. He really cares about other people's feelings. BTW I am bi too and I have gay friends and I did not take offense to the comment. Wil did not just make up that use of that word, it has become a common slang term over the last few years.

And of course Wil responded himself while I was typing so just ignore me...:)

That's exactly what I was going to say on your behalf. It took me so long mulling over it in my head that you beat me to it. hehehe sometimes I wish (not really) I was "Garfield" there are just so many people that need a proverbial punting ;)

Yeah. Cardonia is just one of those uptight political correctness nuts. Ever notice it's never the people supposedly being offended that get upset?

You know, I hate stupid people. I don't care what you believe, anyone who can't articulate their ideas without attacking anyone they disagree with needs to just shut their mouth until they can rationally state their opinion. There are idiots of every race, color, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and any other method you choose to artificially divides God's children. And Wil ain't one of them.

Dake, you're attacking stupid people! Why that's stupidism! You ignorant monster! Not all stupid people are the same!

Some of my friends are stupid!

*BANG* *BANG*

Not anymore. :)

From what I heard, the cat peeing problem has to do with marking their territory. The larger the house, the bigger the problem.
The solution was to take a damp cloth, pet the cat thoroughly with it and then using the same cloth wipe all around the house. And repeat.
The same cat who never peed in my 2-room apartment, always peed everywhere in my mom's 2-story house.

btw, RE: can't imagine anything worse...
I can. I'd tell you, but I'd prolly put you guys off of food. (I've lost more friends that way...)

fuck ya'll, none of you know me. and the reason i didn't want to put my email originally is because i didn't want all you Wil ballsuckers to send me hate mail, Wil should know about that. anyways, first of all im not a political correct nut, jerk. are you telling me you wouldn't get offended if he said "nigger shirt", "kike shirt", or "cracker shirt" when describing the "type" of people who would wear it? especially if your friends were of the ethnicity he's speaking of? don't ever talk to me "kamikaze" about political correctness because your just some stranger with free time who feels he needs to say shit. if instead of acting like a condescending fool mr. wheaton just simply said "i apologize, i didn't mean for it to come out that way" everything would be straight (no pun intended) but his sarcastic ass feels he has an obligation to be rude and make the situation worse. i am in no way a wil-basher cuz before this i was really diggin this website and the guy, but i was incredibly insulted by that comment and his ignorant response so if you'd like to continue this conversation wil you can address it to me personally at my email. fuck anyone else who has a problem, its none of your concern.
-Cardonia Natal-Pretorian

Johannesburg

That's pathetic. Anyone with half of a brain should know that the term "gay" is also used by people who grew up in the 80's to indicate something that is not "cool." I'm not saying it's not offensive. Just that it's not meant to be offensive. Which makes a BIG difference, I would think. You don't like it? Come up with something better. Otherwise, people will continue to use it. (See Welsh, on a bet, etc.)

Yes those other terms would be offensive, because they are not terms which are in general use. I don't even consider the 'gay shirt' use to have any relation to homosexual people. Maybe it does, but in my mind they are two words with different meanings, 'gay' already had at least two unrelated meanings 'homosexual' and 'happy'

Oh and Wil how about A, B and C? So I am going to stop now.

Had a miniature schnauzer who liked to jump into one particular chair and snooze the day away, while selecting another to pee on. Despite his doing this periodically his entire life, my mom one day had enough, and without further ado, drove away and had him put asleep.

Fortunately, the vet was responsible and cremated his remains with the daily put-down. Had learned about that time the local humane society sent animal remains (from weekly euthansias) to a dog food company someplace upstate. (The thought that my neighbor's pooch would be dining on ours the following week was rather sickening.)

Oh, well...

Do you use scented litter? My friend's cat always went in the bathtub, she was a stray, they figured that was her way... but they switched to unscented and the cat loves the box now.

long time reader - first time contributor

wil and all,

one of the coolest things about having had my preteen star crush on wil wheaton is that years later I discovered this website and that wil grew into a great guy, someone i would have a for real crush on if i knew him in person and um yeah he wasn't married. not my point.

i have been reading this site everyday for about seven months now. i *know* wil is a very caring and thoughtful person.

however, regardless of whether or not he intended to use the word in a derogatory way, it still sends a message. He clearly didn't mean the "gay" as in looking homosexual, he meant gay as not cool. granted that is the slang we hear a lot these days, but once "japs" was used as regular slang as were other words referring to african americans. despite their frequent use which may have diluted their meaning in some people's eyes, they originate from cruel notions.

furthermore, just because those of you in the gay community aren't particularly offended by wil because you know he meant no harm doesn't mean use of the word gay in that sense should be encouraged.

I'm sorry Cardonia was such a bastard. hopefully I have constructively helped y'all to reconsider his/her basic reason for blasting wil.

words carry power with them. For example, when a coach or instructor yells to a bunch of men in sports or running excercises, "c'mon ladies", it's meant as an insult.

i know this was a rant and a half, not quite the way i meant to enter the wwdn world, but there you have it. if any of you would like to futher discuss this please feel free to email me.

brie

Dammit, Wheaton.

You gay cat hater.

So, anyway, back to the story about how you were fighting traffic...

Cats are so gay.

Like your mother Lermontov.

i've had cats, dogs, rabbits, hamsters, birds and fish. (maybe my name should be noah)

none of them ever went potty anywhere other than where they should...without reason.

cats didn't like a litterbox that hadn't been changed often enough.

but ew...i'd have done the show sans shirt...cat pee stinks.

Cardonia -

I know it's been mentioned, but I feel it needs to be reiterated.

"nigger shirt", "kike shirt", or "cracker shirt"

All of these are derogatory terms. Gay is not. It is used to describe a lifestyle. I don't think that most homosexuals are offended if they are called gay. Most of them (the ones that I know) will call themselves GAY. And, AGAIN, "gay" was a term used to describe something that was not cool.

You need to take a chill pill and chill the f*** out. Get off your high pedastal that you seem to have put yourself on before you fall and break your neck. If you don't like what you read, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Self-righteous mofos like you really irritate the snot out of me.

And who was it that said how funny it was that it's the PC bastards that get pissed, not the ones that are supposed to be offended? AMEN to that one. (rant over)

On a lighter note - Jason Bickings/Future Wonder - that is one of my dads favorite jokes. He will just, from out of nowhere, sing "The Cat Peed on the Matches!" LOL

Another fun cat thing - CAT PUKE. It don't stink like the pee, but there ain't nothing like opening a bedroom door or stepping out your door, still half asleep into a pile of cold goo. YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!

Christ.

The point has been made. Uncle Willy won't make any more derogatory comments.

He won't talk about political issues.

He won't talk about the silly guy at the cash register at Ralph's.

He won't say a word.

In the words of Mike from Frumpy the Clown:

YOU MUST CHILL

Okay.

Oh, and "Cardonia"'s a purdy name. :)

When I read something like the first line in this entry, I remember one of the many compelling reasons why I hate cats. Disgusting animals. Blech.

At least you have the good sense to own a DOG. Now there's an animal I can love. But a cat? Forget it.

I'm just glad to read that my cat isn't the only cat who pees on things. I thought he was just strange, since all the other cat's I've ever had know where they should pee. This cat is a litter box retard. He just doesn't get it.
LK

I love both dogs and cats... however, when cats are having nerves, or feeling insecure, I'd rather have a dog... all they'll do is piss on the floor (it's all they can reach), whereas a cat will piss and crap where ever they can, which is pretty much everywhere... example: not long after we got married, my wife's cat crapped on my clothes... I made him stay outside for a while after that.

will-
i had a cat once.the damn thing would piss on anything in site if you didn't clean her box every 2 seconds.it got to the point where my bedroom door had to be shut at all times.now everytime i see history of the world pt1 i see the invention of the catapult and laugh my ass off.love the site!

Thank you KJB, its the name of a type of flower in old South Africa. Americans always say it sounds like a name of a drink...I think its special. :)

-Cardonia

AT LAST!
A problem I know something about.

To remove the smell of cat pee, you will need to use an enzyme on it to actually neutralize it, not just mask it over.

CORE products makes a product called Plus II that will help a bunch.

Disclaimer; Although I do sell janitorial products for a living, this is not to drum up business. Please buy from your local janitorial supply company. (And for those of you who happen to live in NorthWestern Montana, email me)

I have a co-worker named Gaye who constantly puts up with ridicule. She thinks it's funny, though... "WTF were my parents thinking?"

Anyhoo.

Back to cat piss.

hiya, first time poster (pretty new reader too, actually). love the site, love the comments. wil, you're a swell guy. that being said, i have two things to add to the already-bursting thread:

1) i haven't seen this mentioned yet re: cat pee, but i've heard that if you put a few drops of vinegar (of all things) in their water, it somehow helps neutralize the icky odor in their pee. i have 2 cats, but i'm apparently too lazy to keep up the vinegar dosage regularly to notice whether it works or not, but it may be worth a try. the comments that people had about urinary tract infections are also very true. take your kitty to the vet, just in case!

2) re the whole "gay shirt" comment: being gay myself, i can say that i always cringe when people (gay, straight, or whatever) use the word 'gay' in that way. i have only heard it used that way in a *negative* context, whether or not the person who says it is anti-gay or not. this, to me, justifies NOT using it that way, because it just reinforces a negativity and (in a sense) is really just verbal bashing. **please don't get me wrong!** i know that wil isn't anti-gay, and neither are any posters i've seen here, and he wasn't 'verbally bashing' anyone when he said that. i'm just saying this from the perspective of someone who's had to come out and lives with the reminder daily that society at large considers me "not normal" (whatever THAT means). i also know that the word 'gay' in the context wil used it is now an increasingly common slang term, and that people don't mean anything anti-gay by it. but the inference remains the same: gay = bad. perhaps it's a generational thing for me to get over, too, since i'm 34 and i have friends who are younger who use it this way. in the same vein, i know lots of people who use the term "indian giver" without a second thought, but its roots are in a bad stereotype as well. i just hate to see it come to a point where 'gay = bad' is an accepted thing in the language. sorry to be so controversial in my first post. please don't come down on me like ya'll did on cardonia. it's just my perspective and my 2 cents on the subject... peace, -f.

Space Cadet said "And Wil, as a wife of a fellow 'computer geek' I so appreciate my own computer, networked to my hubby's."

My fiancé gave me a network card for Christmas 3 years ago. :)

It was the most romantic geek gesture. Ever.

Ive been lurking here for a while but the cat stories made me laugh so much I just had to say that wil you really have your finger on the pulse. and I include the following list of cat sayings that only cover the basic of what having your sisters cats come to live with you cover:
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer." --Bruce Graham
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." --Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." --Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." --English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." --Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another." --Ernest Hemingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." --Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."
--Joseph Wood Krutch
"People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." --Anonymous
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
--Hippolyte Taine
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." --Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." --Ernest Menaul
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." --Unknown
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." --Colette
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."
--Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." --Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."
--Joseph Wood Krutch
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic." --Unknown
"My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes." --Unknown
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit --Unknown

Oh and by the way Cardonia relax a bit and dont take everything too seriously

Who said cats were disgusting?
Have you ever witnessed your dog eat his shite? I've seen mine, hell, he'd even eat the cat's shite out of the kitty litter, or eat the shite on a forest path left by another dog. It's bloody revolting. Then he looks at you all sad, and tries to lick your face. Christ! What is it with dogs and eating shit?

Though, one of my friends had a cat that had a tendency to piss in people's shoes that were left at the front door. Damned thing.

Ah. All animals are disgusting in one way or another, I guess. Even humans. ESPECIALLY humans.

Frank, no one here is going to jump all over you. You didn't attack us. I think that the use of the word "gay" in that context must be a generational thing, because it's generally people my own age or about 4-5 years older who do so. I don't use it that way myself, but that's because I self-regulate my vocabulary, because of where I grew up. (small town- need I say more?) I also have friends who are gay and wouldn't want to denigrate them, however unintentionally. (Though I am prolly sensitive to denigration, being a Teacher's Kid.)

"one of my friends had a cat that had a tendency to piss in people's shoes that were left at the front door."

Ive got friends who have pissed in their Mothers underwear drawer (under the affluence of incohol) and tried to blame it on the cat?!?

* dake ROFLMAOPMS

I have worked for a vet for almost 8 years now (seriously). The reason a cat urinates outside of its litter box is either physical or psychological. If it were an isolated incident I wouldn't worry about it too much. If it continues, the first step is to take Felix to the vet for a urinalysis test to check for infections. Urinary infections a very common in cats and can usually be cured by a round or two of antibiotics. Psychological problems are a little more difficult to deal with. Cats are very picky animals and can be very strange about things. They might not like the type of litter, the litter box, the location of the litter box, the day of the week, what's on TV. Some cats are crazy! The trick is in finding what your cat does like. Remember- You don't train a cat, it trains you. As for urine odor, There is a spray called FON the kills the smell. You have to get it from a vet, but it works very well.

As for the "gay" thing, I am gay and wasn't offend by it. People are so sensitive about things. I'm not for hate groups of any kind, but what will happen if we feel like we have to watch everything we say for fear we will hurt someone's feelings? Comedy will die. We will be a bunch of mindless PC automatons.

Its official, Wil is a bad ass, a cat-peed on bad ass. Way to suck it up Wil. Good show.

http://www.unrealisticexpectations.com/logimages/kittieporn.jpg

Gay cats.

"kitty porn"

You've been warned. 20%.

look closely Roughy No way are those cats "flying united"

Wil (and Anne, too)

We have four cats. I love cats, but they can be ornery cusses. I have a suggestion. Go to the pet supply store. Buy a large wire crate, the kind that are typically used for large dogs. The one I have is about 2 x 2 x 4 feet. It cost about $60.00. Find a quiet place for it, preferrably close to the place you want his litter box to end up. Put a litter box in the back of the crate, and food / water in the front. (Hopefully, the water should be in something that can't spill.) Put in something soft to nap on, like an old towel. Put Ferris in the crate whenever you aren't home to keep an eye on him, or when you are sleeping. I'll bet that within just a few days, that litter box will be part of the normal routine for your cat. You have to keep it clean, though. Use the scoop kind of litter, and scoop it every morning and every evening. Ferris won't want to poop or pee where he has to spend a lot of time, I guarantee! After a while, try leaving the door to the crate open during the day, but keep the litter box and food in the crate. See if he uses the litter box when it's his choice. Then, move the food and water out, and just keep the litter box in the crate. Eventually, you should be able to eliminate the crate and move the litter box to a permanent home, but be aware -cats don't like it when their litter is moved around a lot. Gradually shift the location to the place it will end up. And remember, you must keep it clean. Cats have sensitive noses. (Wonder how come they don't get grossed out by the smell of their own pee?)
It's worth the investment in the crate, even if it saves only one favorite shirt or hat. Cat pee is noxious! Hope this helps.
Corky

Just weighing in on this gay issue: While it's true that the way we speak informs what we think to a certain extent, and to be certain, at some point in his life, Wil must have "learned" even if only on a subconscious level that gay = uncool, to expect people to so censor their vocabulary as to eliminate all words of potentially prejudicial coloring is silly. It is to rob all speakers of their individuality to some - even if only minute degree in the beginning - it is the first link that binds us all. Get offended at content, not slang; it's what preserves a part of our cultural history.
/is flicked by a rubber band from the crowd and stumbles half-blindly from the soapbox...

BTW Roughy: You are a sick cat-pimp. And you smell like limburger. ;)

Wimpy cat link, Roughy. And no, mine isn't porn. It's B Kliban.

http://www.eatmousies.com/

Brie and Frank: Thanks for the comments. My issue with Cardonia was not so much the message as the way it was presented and she seems to have settled down. I have no problem with arguing different points of view, just with it getting personnal and nasty. I know this issue has been hashed to death, but I would be curious to find out if anyone knows how that slang word came into existence. I am facinated with the evolution of words *boy that sounds lame*

I now return you to your regularly scheduled cat pee.

p.s. Canadian women win gold in hockey YAH!

As a gay man, I felt no offense from Wil's use of the "gay" word...As Frank or noworriesmon mentioned (can't remember which one), while it can be seen in a negative light, I feel that I can confidently say that Wil's intent was not meant to be negative in any way.

My curiosity (which would have definitely killed any cat that peed on any furniture I had!) has arisen though, as to just WHERE Wil bought the afore-mentioned "polyester-blend" type shirt?? And, are there any more like it??? :o )

I'm a dog lover myself...don't hate cats, just prefer dog slobber to cat pee.

Take care,

ATTENTION PLEASE

We no longer refer to it as "Hell's Kitchen", it is now known as "Clinton" (and was known by that name before the president of similar nomenclature came around)

You may now return to your posting mayhem.

I like the idea of putting Ferris in the crate with the kitty litter box and water in order to teach the cat to use the litter box. The question is, does the cat go into the crate with the dog, or is it just the dog and then the cat gets to go without a litter box for long periods of time to teach it a lesson?

Okay okay, I know it was a mistake. But, it made me laugh to consider it.

Roughy Said:
"Gay cats.

"kitty porn"

You've been warned. 20%."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahahaa.. you kill me! I seriously choked on my coke when I read that.

Thanks for the icky monitor...

Roughy - you crack my shit up.

Too f'in funny. Of course, I'm off to bed and that will be the last image I see before heading off to bed. So help me, if I dream about cats getting it on, I'm hoppin the next plane to Chi-town and hunting you down......

look closely Roughy No way are those cats "flying united"

Posted by: Noir on February 21, 2002 06:45 PM

I just looked closely a few minutes ago, when, yet again, the brothers...well, let's just say that someone was sledding and someone was the sled.

And maybe they weren't entirely sledding, but I can assure you that only one of them was "along for the ride."

Eh, admit it, you're just jealous that this is the thread and I've got more truly funny cat pictures than anyone else...

As my with-bones idol, Fred Durst would say, "There's a lot of Hatorade out there..."

But, it's okay. I don't mind leading the pack. There'll be another piss-ridden thread that I *won't* have pictures for, I promise.

Although that damn Fowler shows up everywhere with his camera...damn him.

Wil,

As usual, i read all of this after 100+ posts...

Anyway... Aint cats funky like that. Take my furball... The only time she EVER... underline, exclamation... EVER pisses on something other than her litter box is when the door to the closet its in is closed. Then, she'll pee on the news papers on the floor next to the door, or the wad of dirty clothes on the floor in my room, etc. etc. But the only time her pee ever gets on the floor is when it runs off or seeps through what ever she peed on. Never on the carpet itself.

Now, her hair balls are another story. When you hear that sickly hacking, with light girgle, man, take cover. Those things bounce off walls and land in the flower pots. (she's long haired)

But, i cant complain much. Shes really good about it all. Specally considering she turns 20 in April.

WIL!!!!!!!!
Take your cat to a vet if he keeps peeing! Last year my cat, Mojo, started peeing all over the house. At first I got mad, but it turned out he had a kitty disorder (Idiopathic Lower Urinary Tract Disease)and would have died within hours if we hadn't rushed him to the vet. A thousand dollars and 3 vets later, we finally got him cured by a cool cat hospital. Go figure.

Now that we're all sharing cat stories, I used to have this really good cat named Tabby. She never pissed on anything, but got creative when I left her alone one weekend.
I came home to find a pile of barf on the middle of the stove with a curly little turd right on top.

wil said:Boy, that description really makes it sound gay, doesn't it? Trust me, it was fairly cool

noworriesmon sed: If you don't like what you read, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Hmmm, I disagree, one of the things that seems to make this site work is freedom of speech. & If everyone agreed about everthing here, how boring would that be?

Cardonia said he/she was offended and upset and typed out what was on his/her mind; probably could have been less "Fuck You in the Ass"(not that theres anything wrong with fucking in the ass) about it.

I don't really have any pet bathroom stories. My pets are boring. Except the cats leave little "balls" around now and then (like my cat will be sitting in a chair, then much later I'll find this stupid little ball of poop right where she was sitting.) Oh, and my dog goes to the bathroom out of spite. I'll put her in a room for two seconds by herself, i.e. when someone comes over, and when I let her out ... without fail ... there's always either "#1" or "#2" on the rug.

The gay clothes uproar? uhhh, I think it's a bit silly. Reminds me of Daniel Drennan's "90210" wrapups, which make no sense if you don't watch that show but are totally hilarious if you do. He is very openly gay, yet always wrote stuff like: "Steve enters, wearing a queenie blue turtleneck" or "Brandon, wearing a gayla brown shirt..."

I guess it just depends on the person, but I doubt Wil expected THAT to be the second-main focus of these comments!

Kellyv:
Ooops. Sh*t like that happens when I'm too sleepy to stand up, but not yet aware....and, I just recently learned the names of the Wheaton pets. Got 'em mixed up.
I'm not any more awake now - just getting sip #2 of my coffee. I wonder, does Wil look back on his older posts to see if any fresh comments have been made? It takes me all day to read everything! It's a full-time job.
Corky

*banging head against the keyboard*

Must.not.comment.

Ok, the voices in my head have now been sedated, so I can say this one little thingy-poo:

Wil, I know you're not a 'phobe, and frankly, I didn't even catch the word in the post when I first read it. Read it a few more times after seeing the uproar. Hm.

If I'm catching context right, I'm thinking you actually weren't quite using it the way folks think you were, which is to say, the way that stupid 14 year olds who actually *are* 'phobic do, but rather the way I'd approach my faggiest friends and say, "My, Rafe, that's quite the faggy shirt you have on today."

As for some of the rest of y'all: Unfortunately, just because it's become common for the young fellers and fillies to use "gay" when they really mean "lame" doesn't mean it's a good thing. Most other fads that start with demented 14 year olds aren't exactly bright, either.

*HOWEVER* I seriously don't think that's how Wil was using the word. Wil is a big boy. A big, intelligent boy. A big, intelligent liberal boy who I think is totally cool for not becoming a sexist homophobic jerk due to all the shitlipped morons who decided he was gay when he was 12 and have been attacking him ever since because they think gay is evil and like to accuse people of it. (Unlike moi. I think gay is cool, and accuse cool people of it :) ) Now, I'll admit that I take some nitpicky issue with some of Wil's views on a few things, and one of these days hope to have a lovely dialogue about those issues. Or at least write him a pretty letter about them.

But not this issue. Wil's cool on this one. Go Wil.

"You kissed a girl? That's so gay."

the show must go on-- whether you break your leg or your shirt is reeking of cat pee. stage acting is the best-- it was for more than half my life ^-^ but that aside--

be thankful your cat peed on your shirt. (what?! girl, you are crazy, i know you're thinking that) do you know what I wouldn't do right now to have my dog piss on something of mine? that's how much i miss my dog. i'm away from home (study abroad) and i have been looking forward to july when i go home, and i get off the plane and my dog will be waiting in the car to take me home (before i was gonna have to wait to get home but now with all the extra security at airports, my parents have to wait in the car too, so the dog could stay in the car with them. so something good came out of it all after all, right?)

he got hit by a car two weeks ago. and that's it, that's my dog, i will never see him again. i won't have his annoying hairs in my bed between my sheets, i won't have him piss in my bed (he peed in my bed before i left twice because he didn't want me to go), i won't have him wake me up in the middle of the night with his annoying barking at the random squirrel or cat who wanders into our back yard.

to make a long story short-- be thankful for what you have. maybe felix the cat is having a hard time with someone/thing. try talking to him. (cat psychology X-x; if felix is anything like my dog, a little talk always helps) and be thankful you still have your cat. lord knows I'd do anything for my dog back.

We'd just finished moving our old, queen-sized bed into the guest room so the guests would have someplace comfy to sleep (while we traded up to king-size upstairs). It was tough work, so we knocked off for the day, figured we'd put sheets and all on it in the morning.

In the morning, cat pee all over queen-sized mattress. Queen-sized mattress moved to garage, waiting for "haul-your-large-garbage-away" day. We had to buy a new one.

And why'd they decide they had to pee on it in the guest room? They never peed on it when it was in our bedroom. Damn cats are expensive.

Wil,

if you are looking for something to do, how about replying to this question:

http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=25833&cid=2823329

you did promise you would reply, after all - you emailed me :)

regards

Aziz

bluesman said: "Hmmm, I disagree, one of the things that seems to make this site work is freedom of speech. & If everyone agreed about everthing here, how boring would that be?

Cardonia said he/she was offended and upset and typed out what was on his/her mind; probably could have been less "Fuck You in the Ass"(not that theres anything wrong with fucking in the ass) about it."

Sure, I agree with you on that. I'm not saying that everyone has to agree with each other. She has every right to disagree with something that is said. My point was she flew off the handle without questioning it first. I reiterate. If you don't like what you read here then don't come back. It's your right to. Voice your opinion, yes. Be cruel, rude and go ballistic - not cool.

*wiping tears of laughter from my eyes*
Thanks Wil! Your post made my day. Here I was, surfing the net and feeling generally grouchy, when all of a sudden I get side-swiped by a cat pee story.

Fortunately my cats know how to use the litter box but they're very talented when it comes to scratching the furniture, knocking things over and making noise. I also have a cat who will fetch a ball of paper. I swear, she must be part dog!

By the way, I love the site. I've only visited a few times so far but I'll definitely keep coming back! Thanks!:)

Just a thought... does the use of the word "lame" offend people with disabilities? :-)

*thinking I should just let this thread die but I post anyway*

:o) You people crack me up. Thanks...between Roughy, Rob, noworriesmon...the list is growing...I enjoy when I get the time to drop by and see what's up on the board for discussion.

Enjoying it all,

Mandy - you're opening up a whole new can of worms!!!!!!!! :) Naughty, naughty!

Re: "If you don't like what you read here then don't come back"

There is no context that this statement can be made in that would apply to this web site and it still be the really cool website that it is.

Even when wil gets pissed off, I dont ever remember him saying anything like that at all.

I think if a person is really pissed off about something, they should go ahead an go balistic, WTFN? Type out your gut reaction, dont even check for spelling, etc, and Boom, hit return before you wimp out.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

I'm about 2 days too late, but I really wanted to post anyway.

Most of the people who posted in response to the 'gay' comment reffered back to their gay friend, cousin, gerbil, whatever, and how they were offended, weren't offended, or died of heartbreak over Wil's description of the shirt as "gay".

I'm Joe, I'm a 17 (soon to be 18!!!) year old senior in high school, and I'm gay. And I promise you that reffering to things as "gay" did not die out in the 1980's.
I'm a lot of things, but I'm also not a dumbass. I know that our illustrious Mr. Wheaton didn't intend or even succeed in really offending anyone with his comment. However, it [the comment] did send a short twinge through my head, reminding me of a much quieter, repressed, and closeted 9th grade me. It was slightly unsettling. It still bugs me when my friends or enemies refer to something as 'gay' when it is uncalled for.
No matter what words you use, it's connotation that is key...that's what caused the uproar, and also my brain twinge.
Basically I didn't know if he called the shirt gay because it was fruity-looking, or because he thought it was strange/weird/trying to get with his married ass. I would have liked some clarification, but in the long run, I truly don't give a crap. It's just that, in my eyes, my peers who strive hard to seem mature for their lofty 17.66667 years drop in my opinoin pole when they call their turkey sandwich "gay". It ellicts emotional responses that I can't explain, and I know that it's not just me. I'm not trying to repress anybody's freedom of speech, but just to be aware of stuff like this. Not every is so understanding.

However, if I was wrong and the shirt really WAS fruity and he just didn't clarify that, I'd just like to point out that the black shirt that I bought from Hot Topic definately sounds much gayer than yours, Wil...mine is fishnet, thus allowing full view of my nipples for the world to see when worn. Try and one up that one...

You know... I'm reminded of sites like this one:

http://www.bonsaikitten.com/bkintro.html

Just one of many sites out there that makes the baby Jesus cry.

~j

can i have nude pics of you wil?

can i have nude pics of you wil?

I just did a search for "worms under doorwall" and this is the first site in my results.

Not what I was looking for but interesting.