WIL WHEATON dot NET: 1.5

The serious look on the face it what sells it for me. Too Funny.

EEEEEEEEEEEK! Purple and pimpish! ;)

Here's some concert photos of last nite

http://www.retrocrush.com/tiff/

Mack daddy pimps don't hafta play punk-ass dodgeball anyway.
Then again, i nearly blew chunks at the color picture so I don't feel too bad if you had your ass handed to you. (is that what you're wearing when the Enterprise picks you and Worf up for Star Trek X?)

Big Uncle Willy can't hadle dodge ball?!?! Oh well, at least you were pimpin' in purple.

Did you steal Dolemites' pimp cane?

I always got hit in dogeball too, and chosen last, but I still had fun. Trick is, lay low and dodge, and don't try to catch it because I could never catch and then it would bounce out of my hands and be out....

That is not you. That is John Belushi!

Dodgeball sucks, was it the circle type, or the vs. type (where everyone gets to throw and dodge?)

I USED to be good at dodgeball. But now with my full ACL tear and arthritis.....

The important thing here is, I used to be good at dodgeball but I was NEVER in the movies (without paying, except when my grandfather was the ticket-taker at Proctor's in Troy, NY) or on TV, and I might be funny with my friends but I don't get the same laughs when I'm holding a microphone in front of a crowded theater. (yes, I have to sometimes) I wanted to be a singer/entertainer of some small degree. I can sing. Yes, I can. Don't give me that. You can't even cook...

Oh, where was I?

So who's dream is in realization here?

Remember, being successful is all about trying to achieve. If you reach the plateau and satisfy yourself with that, you lose having a goal.

Oh, and I hope I was the first of 15000 to send the satirewire thingy.

You still rule in my book, Willy-man.

That picture just scares me.

Whoa... does Tiffany have a nose-ring now?

Nice color shot of you, Uncle Willy!

As far as dodgeball goes, I never was good at it either. Perhaps you should play by Australian rules next time. Full contact dodgeball? LOL I crack myself up.

Have a good one!

Poor Uncle Wil. Alot of people don't like Dodge ball. The mystery of Wil' pants, are quite the mystery. Bahm, bahm, bohm.

They say that Wil, he's a bad mother...Shut your mouth!

Say, Uncle Willy, you need to time your Sacramento jaunts more in sync with my cross country visits to see my Grandma out there! By the way, you know the Kings are gonna be spankin' some sorry Laker ass this year in the playoffs...

WESTERN CONFERENCE CHAMPS, BABY!!

Somehow I didn't picture you as an advocate of vandalism Wil.

LAKERS!

With all due respect, Mr. Wheaton sir, you got to play dodgeball with Tiffany! I would kill for that opportunity!! I mean, like, holy crap dude! The only way I'll get to be within 1,000 feet of her is if she lifts the restraining order. Seriously, I feel your pain. Dodgeball sucked donkey balls back in my younger days & it still does today.

To say it with the unforgettable words of Biayt:

EEEEEEEK!

Where ist Snow-white to sing her duet with Mr. Bluebird ;-)

In matters of dodgeball remember: Sports is homicide with different weapons :-)

Damn not living in L.A.

Why can't you ever come to Winnipeg, Sparks???

Thanks. I didn't realize the coat matched in the B&W Photo.

You saw Elena put that up there? Man, now I wish I'd turned around. :)

I was at the show last night but by the time I'd got the guts up to go say hi (I'm pathetically shy, go me) you had to dash, and that's when we left, and as we were walking out Elena put her last sticker on that sign.

If you saw the rest of us walking with her, I was the one with the teal hair.

I'm sorry, Sparks, that IS just plain scary! Glad you had a nice time and sorry bout the dodgeball fiasco. I had the same problem all thru school. I didn't get a decent grade in P.E. (above a C) until my junior year in high school. Shot the average all to hell. Anyway, that's why YOU'RE an actor and I'm a mom! Too scary for me, hon!

Is no one going to mention the ankle watches?

*trying so hard to not say anything*
*face is turning blue*
*bites lip*

Wil, Wil, Wil. *shakes head* I dunno man!

That's not Sweet Uncle Willy. That's Sweet Uncle Paul McCartney!

wil you look so different in that picture!
i hate dodgeball 2.

BLAZERS!

(somebody from Portland had to pipe up...)

Alright Wil, go on and keep up with that Lakers smack until Shaq bruises his Poor Wittle Toe again ; )

The Kings will rule your town.

RULE, I say.

*rubs eyes*

Ow.

That outfit is hypnotic, or maybe like a bad acid trip.

You think Dodgeball is rough!?! You should try British Bulldog. Many a breaktime in school was spent in the nurses bay, receiving treatment after being pounded on playing it! Not to mention women's rugby. Don't get me started on THAT!!! (lol)

And by the way Wil. I have Se7en words for you in the pimp get-up.

"All for one and one for all!"

I ruled dodgeball in sixth grade. No, seriously... I just could not be hit. Sixth grade dodgeball was the high point of my life. I had groupies and a dodgeball entourage.

Do not ever EVER fucking challenge me to dodgeball, y'all, because once your body learns the way of the ball you NEVER forget.

I am STILL the Michael Dudikoff of American middle school dodgeball.

I am like the wind, the misty, misty mist across a misty harvest moon.

GONG!

Where is the ball?

GONG!

Not on me, motherfucker.

Not on me.

Fuck you.

Hit me.

C'mon.

COME ON!

HIT ME!

You got nothing.

Shut up!

OMG I never understood what OBEY was - that is one of the most BRILLIANT things I've ever seen. And so is this familial spin-off. Can I be a member of Wil's posse? LOL! Guess I am!!!

OBEY is ALL OVER Dupont Circle and Georgetown...
Love the Retrocrush pic too. ALmost got my in troube trying not to laugh in class. =D Why do I get so much pleasure out of peeking into the lives of people I've never met?

Ive just seen the outfit on retrocrush?!?

Tell us that you never went out in public like that for gods sake

that photo of Will in the bad/torn jeans takes me all the way back to when everyone wanted to bitchslap him... memories

Wow. That color pic screams out that Lions & Ghosts have reformed and Uncle Willie is going to be the Mayor of Bootytown! Or maybe Jellyfish has reformed and Wil's going to try his luck at singing? Or maybe it's for the upcoming Baretta remake and Wil's playing "Huggy Bear"?!!?

Btw, for those not old enough to recall late 80's and early 90's psychedelic bands like the two aforementioned, I highly suggest going onto to e-bay and looking for the following: "Velvet Kiss, Lick of the Lime" by Lions & Ghosts and "Bellybutton" by Jellyfish. I'm certain Uncle Willie wouldn't mind one bit! LOL!

Wow, a lot of people hate dodgeball. I loved it!

When I was a teacher's aide in an elmentary school last year the best part was when they let me play during gym class. I rocked when I was little (usually last one left), but when the kids you're playing with are a foot shorter, you become a target. =)

BTW anyone else think it's scary sounding that in the dodgeball article King of the Hill is referred to as King of the Mountain? Got some vicious kids there.

Coinickdinks man.

I've got my first Dodgeball game of the new year down on OSU tonight.

I suck.

I mean hardcore.

I've got the Dodge thing down pat but I suffer a genetic problem of great magnitude.

I throw like a girl.

But I think through training I could work towards an almost non-suck throwing thing.

Either that or I'll turn it into a game I rule at.

Rugby.

My sympathies regards sucking at dodge ball. Try being a head taller than everyone in class and going to a CATHOLIC GIRLS' SCHOOL and sucking at basketball. Talk about trauma.

One of the major perqs of adulthood is being able to say, "No," when I get invited to partake of athletic activity. No thanks, I'll keep my gangly klutzy ass here on the sidelines, thanks so much ...

Sorry to hear about the dodge ball game. I loved playing if I was the one throwing the ball but I hated being on that feckin' wall.

Thank you so much for getting the board back up so fast. I wasn't expecting it to be fixed until sometime this weekend. So thank you to you and Jbay for working on it.

Sweet Uncle Willy looks kinda like a heavier version of Chris Robinson of The Black Crowes.

Oh my God Wil, that picture of you on Retrocrush?!

That's kinda unforgivable!

You MUST give an explanation!

Don't think of it as vandalism Christopher Hearns, think of it as culture jamming.

I never knew you played harmonica, Wil. Cool.

Purple!! Woo hoo, my favourite colour!
You are DA MAN ;D

Oh, that new color pic is suh-weet!

Sorry the dodgeball stuff wasn't more fun for you. When i was a kid, I *ruled* at that game. One time I had the luck to pelt the shcool bully right in the leg- he was wearing a cast on the other leg, and damn, it felt so good to see him go down! I mean, if he wasn't fit to play the game, he shouldn't have been on the court!

Okay, now that you've seen the evil side of me, I'm gonna scoot!

Hey Matsushita - are you gonna do an aural rendering of the latest Spudnuts? It'd be short, but beautiful. The Rant of Dodgeball.

Damn Wil, you get hotter and hotter every time I see you. Sacramento loves you and so do the KWOD listeners, and don't ever forget it. Hope you come back soon, you sexy man you!

Interplanet Janet: Nice Dirty Frank reference.

Wheres Wil Wheaton.....MY GOD HES BEEN ATE!!!

GO KINGS!!!! I GOT ME SOME PLAYOFF TICKETS.

Dodgeball: Its ok UNCLE WILLY...we will make the bad man stop. Hopefully you dont have too many bruises. So you said that the only difference is you didnt cry....YOU WERE A PRETTY TOUGH 3RD GRADER THEN...if you didnt cry then. Oooh how the years change us.

Lisa Marie

Hey dude I used to rule in dodgeball!!! but i also used to be a 85 lb weakling too so when I used to be the last one on the court with all the balls (no pun intented) my throwing it back didn't always hurt them, Oh the humanity!!!!! make the bad memeory go away--- ok so maybe i didn't completely rule....BTW cool outfit- if your blind. :P

Being a weakling has very little to do with sucking at dodge ball. I'm a half-cripple with a bad hip and very few developed muscles, but dodgeball was my game. It's all about hand-eye coordination.

::sigh:: dodgeball. I have a memory of a seventh grade gym class: We were playing dodgeball, and as a cruel joke, God said, "Hey, let's have Cayla be the last person left on Team A, and let's make sure that the ManWoman from Team B is left, too!" I spent ten minutes running away from that rubber ball frantically, while the ManWoman through it with all her muscley might over and over again.

I feel for you, Wil.

::ahem:: I meant to say "threw"

spudnuts said y'all

that's funny

A'IGHT!

Pimp Daddy Willie!!!!!!
Re:To the color picture.

This one time, at dodgeball camp, I was behind this kid, and he had a ball in his hands, and someone threw a ball at him, and the ball that they threw at him, it bounced off of the ball that he was holding, and went up into the air, and hit me in the head. Teacher said I wasn't out though. Yay.

Great pictures of you playin' and chillin' with Tiff. That just rocks. Le Maison du Pleasure Retreaux.

Us dodgeball haters have to stick together. I was mauled constantly in fifth grade. I swear those kids aimed at my face on PURPOSE...

So much to make fun of, so little time...

Ohmygoodness - I am looking at the link you provided to RetroCrush, and I am laughing hysterically! (but in a good way.) For the love of god, I can not wait to ANALYZE THE LEECHES! :) :) :)

Dodgeball sucks... but I wish I had been able to get up to Sacto to see it. So close, and yet so far. I know Unca Willy is heartbroken I didn't come ;)

Go coyotes.
dodgeball owns! i used to work people with my look away pimpass arm.. now with my water polo skills i would riock your world big willis
.
kwod was an awesome radio channel.. along with kits in san fran LIVE 105. good stuff.. the radio stations here in arizona suck ass.. all they play is current pop shit.. o well.

1 month left til episode 2 hits the theaters.. i keep dreaming of it.. if it sux.. i dont think ill die theres still episode 3!

my thought for the day.
"oh baby baby its a wild world. I'll always remember u like a child girl"

oh ya speaking of pop.. i got an extra ticket to see blink 182 and green day tomorrow with jimmy eat world opening.. who wants to go>??? :)

Oh Superfly, you're gonna make your fortune by an by
But if you lose at dodgeball don't ask no questions why
The only game you know is do or die

As the lame fan that I am, I am always glad to find something that I have in common with the master.
I can't even spell the word doge ball, much less play. I was ALWAYS humiliated at ball games. (Hey Wil, wanna found a self-help group?)
It makes me feel a lot less inferior to know that Wil throws like a girl.

And man, I surely never wear either pimp-purple or a gazillion watches around my ankles.

Thank God for the Iron Curtain. Spared us Eastblockers the 80's.

Re: The color photo and dodgeball. The color photo is very strange. Looks like a sailor pimp! Dodgeball Hum, you dodge the ball and run like heck when it comes towards you....I'm just saying this because it's what I always did. My game was tether ball. Um, a ball tied to a pole. You whack the ball around the pole....this I was always good at.

Wil, thanks for reawakening a memory.

Like you, I passionately hated dodgeball in grade school. Partly because I always got hit and it hurt, but mainly because I just didn't have the killer instinct. I didn't WANT to try to hit people with a ball. It was something I might do in anger, but there was no fun in it.

But the other boys in my class loved it, so much in fact that we had our own, less-structured variation called Powder. Getting Powdered was our synonym for getting Creamed. Powder had all the violence of dodgeball with none of the annoying formalities. There were no teams, no court and no scoring. The object was simply to run around hitting each other as hard as possible with the ball.

We more or less stampeded around the playground, following the ball wherever it went, playing right through whatever anybody else was playing. We inflicted a lot of collateral damage on kids who were playing kickball, softball, 4-square, or just standing around talking, unprepared for either a hurtling basketball or a dozen boys running blindly at top speed and making sudden, random turns. We were like those crack-fueled felons on America's Wildest Police Videos trying to escape through the suburbs.

For me the worst part about Powder was that I was even worse at it than Dale, a kid who wore a metal brace on one leg because he had had polio earlier in life. Dale was about a foot shorter than anybody else in our class, and was the favorite target because he was the hardest person to hit, in spite of his disability. He seemed to sense when the ball was coming at him. Following some strange psychic impulse, he would suddenly hurl himelf into the air, hauling his bad leg up behind him, and a shot that should have hit him right in the ass would pass harmlessly under him and hit somebody else, frequently me.

Watching Dale repeatedly avoid danger in the nick of time, I began to wonder how in the hell he did it. He said he didn't know. Some kids thought he had ESP, which was a hot topic at that time, in the late sixties. I favored that theory because it was a cool idea. But I started noticing that Dale often performed his expert leaps when the ball was nowhere near him. For one thing, he seemed to have a routine: when somebody got the ball, Dale would veer away at an angle, run a few steps, then either dodge sideways or leap into the air. His timing was impeccable, but he really didn't seem to know whether the ball was coming at him or not. He just knew when it would get there if it did.

Another thing he probably did was look at other kids. Most kids react when they see somebody in motion to throw a ball toward them. Instead of looking over his shoulder while running, which may have been physically awkward for him to do, Dale probably watched the kids in front of him, timing his movements according to theirs.

Watching and thinking about Dale taught me things that I have carried into adulthood. Like the importance of timing, observation skills, and crowd psychology; that the most interesting theory is the one people will probably believe; that being little doesn't guarantee failure; that the rules of society are made by people who are good at dodgeball but would suck at Powder.

Ah! No! Wil! Do NOT take up pimping, ever! It is NOT for you! Sorry...but, it's true. :-\ I think you look best as yourself.

I don't know what Dodgeball is, but if you don't like it, then it must be bad, no? What is this game like? Like what is the point of it...or the goal? I would like to learn it, for myself, so that I may teach it to my brothers and sisters, and they may play it, and stay away from me! ~_^

I saw "The Mystery Of Wil's Pants".....and I found it quite amusing! ^_^ I loved it! It was really quite...informing, I think. I love Pink Floyd, so I really wanted your pants! *G*

Liebe Alles!
~Gipsie

Great concert pics! Wil's a rock star!!!!

Hey, is that the t-shirt you're gonna go to hell for? Heh!

Do you know that situation when you're running a fever, and suddenly people seem to say the weirdest things and there are walls where there used to be doors and there are pictures of Wil Wheaton wearing a purple nightmare all over the internet?
And you wonder, are you hallucinating?
Or awake?

oh my goodness. I just got back from clubbing, and I haven't decided whether the photo (in its 32 bit glory) has stunned me to sobriety or if i'm transfixed by the colors...mmm...pretty colors...or maybe it's going to make me yak. hmm.

"I'm weak, I can't throw...."

Doesn't this have the same tone as Kramer complaining about his golf skills.

I swear I've seen the OBEY posters and stickers in August of last year in VEGA$. They were everywhere. I remember stopping by and examining them, because they were just so damn peculiar... Now I know what they are about... However, they have not yet reached my end of the world.

Thanks for the enlightment, Prof. Wil.

I must say again: "Rawwwr. Sexy!" Even better in color, even though I usually like my celebrities clean-cut. ;-) And the picture on RetroCrush was adorable. Hey, it was the early 90s! The pants were cool!

Ah dodgeball, I used to hide in the corner and then I'd wind up always being last.. ducking to make sure the arses didn't swipe my head off. It was all in good fun though..

Right there with ya, Wil.

I was bad at all the sports, but at least with the other games they weren't *supposed* to hit you. And we did this in gym class. What are you supposed to think when the hitting is teacher-mandated???

Sticker on a stop sign?!?!

Hrmph.

That lady said the sign had been obscured when she ran into me. But I didn't believe her.

I guess now I owe her an apology.

I liked dodgeball back in gradeschool when we were all pretty much the same size...

Then we got to junior high school, and the sadistic PE teachers would force us to play co-ed dodgeball and volleyball...

At this point the boys were already nearing 6 feet tall, and I was still pushing 4'10"...

I'll never forget the day I spent the rest of the afternoon with a big red welt just below my left eye, in the shape of the word SPALDING written backwards....

Hmm, we don't have dodgeball at schools here in the UK. Must suck to be American in Games, huh?

Oh, and it's always in the last place you look Wil, because after that, you stop looking.

before they face the kings, uncle willie, your lakers have to take out the blazers... methinks that wil be harder this year than last...

I hated dodgeball when I was a kid. Not b/c I was weak or slow or had bad hand/eye coordination -in fact I was the opposite of that. When we played dodgeball the teacher would put all the kids she didn't like in the middle & all the kids she did like in a circle around them & let the kids in the circle just hurl the balls at the unlikables as hard as they could. No one was supposed to aim for a person's face/head but they did & once there was even a broken nose as a result. Sometimes when it was the unlikables turn to be in the circle one would try to get revenge on one of the meaner well-favored kids. It was ok when the likeable did something really mean -he could convince the teacher it was an accident- but when it was one of the others, well that kid always got detention. Sometimes I was one of the well-favored kids -I always did what I was told & never mouthed-off. But sometimes I was surprised by finding out I was one of the unlikeables. I knew most of the kids didn't like me (shy kids, especially when they are bigger than most of the other students are always targets of hate), but the teacher? Anyway, it was horrible. I couldn't believe how teachers would segregate us like that & just let the students she liked beat the crap out of the ones she didn't like. Thank goodness we stopped playing dodgeball after elementary school -teachers found more subtle ways of letting you know if you were one of the unlikeables. [I don't mean to pick on teachers. Many of my teachers were good people & good educators but the ones that were bad were really bad.]

Argh, right there with you on dodgeball. I was the shortest kid in class, and always ended up on the side *opposite* the biggest kid in class.

Ow. You'd think after the second broken pair of glasses, they'd put a stop to that, no? Bleah.

Totally diggin' the purpleness.

Hey Wil, you've got enough talent in so many other areas. If I were you, I wouldn't worry how much I sucked at dodgeball (hey, I should follow my own advice, ya think? :-) ). The game sucks anyway. I was supposed to wear glasses as a kid but the other kids teased me so I didn't wear them. As a result I couldn't see the ball coming, so I always got hurt. This also applied to volleyball, tetherball, etc. I don't think they should make kids play those games if they don't want to. Now I'm old and crochety and I couldn't play them to save my life! :-)

did you guys see the extreme flash dodgeball over at bbspot ? I thought it was appropriate given Wil's recent adventure.

Wil plays Harmonica....rock! let's have some MP3's

That pimp suit is just too much to handle, especially in colour. It's enough to give a person nightmares.
And Pink Floyd on your jeans, Wil please!
Don't worry about dodgeball Uncle Willy, u have enough talents, you don't need to strain and embarrass yourself, we know you rock!

So like, what is this? Are you auditioning for a production of "The Importance of Being Earnest"? For the role of Dame Edith Evans as Lady Bracknell?

"Purple haze all in my face..."

Dig it, Wil. You are the MAN!

DUDE!
I'm not sure if I should be more disturbed at the fact you're WEARING that, or at the fact it's freakishly purple and you're wearing afro hair.

Yikes.
~Kaylin

Yep, pimpin' photo definitely sexier in colour. Yum.

Dodgeball is the suckiest suck that ever sucked. I got hit in the head all of the time.

Great photo at Retrocrush. The Swatch watches on the ankle...you were so cooool.

I HATE U WILL WHEATON

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