alt.usenet.made.me.laugh
Found on Usenet, authored by O.Deus:
A crowd has gathered outside a dumpster, current residence of the reel
of film featuring Wesley Crusher, at the news that Will Wheaton's
apperance had been cut from Nemesis.
"First they let him go from the Next Generation and now they cut him
from Nemesis alltogether?" Wanda Killgorne 39, one of those holding a
silent vigil at the dumpster. "It makes no sense. The producers never
realized what they had with Wesley. The show went downhill the moment
he left and they've been too arrogant to do what it takes to save Star
Trek. Bring back Wesley as a Starship Captain with Godlike powers.
He's the only one that can save Star Trek."
At those words the crowd began chanting, "Bring Back Wesley. Bring
Back Wesley. Bring Back Wesley" but it was clear that their hearts
just weren't in it.
"Some of us are here because we're off our medication. Others are here
because Wesley Crusher gives us a reason to live." William Johnson 56
said delivering an improptu speech from the vantage point of standing
on a stained milk crate. "Still Others because due to our homoerotic
crushes on Mr. Wheaton, orders of protection prevent us from going any
closer to him. Still we all united in our veneration of this lost
reel."
Saying this Mr. Johnson reached into the dumpster and pulled out a
reel along with several roaches living in the reel.
"Behold the Reel of Wesley." He shouted as the crowd fell to its knees
before the reel and then rose one by one to kiss the reel and return
back to the private and state facilities from which they had come as
the sun set over the tall buildings, indicating that curfew was almost
over.
This made me laugh out loud.
It sure was strange to see something on Usenet about me that didn't involve Klingon gang rape.
Comments
http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=anon-2809941723050001%40slama.pbs.org
:-)
Posted by: BigBob | August 16, 2002 06:19 PM
Um.
Spoke too soon.
heheheh
Oh...wait...am I allowed to laugh at that?
Posted by: MrsVeteran | August 16, 2002 06:21 PM
Why does "Behold the Reel of Wesley" remind me of "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy?"
Or maybe,
"And the Reel of Wesley did SMITE down upon them with GREAT VENGEANCE and FURIOUS ANGER!!!"
Posted by: MrsVeteran | August 16, 2002 06:27 PM
... with visions of St. Leibowitz dancing in his head...
Posted by: John Mcgregor | August 16, 2002 06:30 PM
Wil,
People have just to much time on there hands don't they? Oh well I found it humorous myself. One always need to find some humor in life.
Until your next post..
Matt......
Posted by: Matt | August 16, 2002 06:34 PM
Holy hand grenade? I was thinking more along the lines of "Follow the Gourd!" :)
Posted by: hippiewitch | August 16, 2002 06:40 PM
hmmm...the lost "wesley" tapes...i can smell a 2 hour special on fox...leading up to the swatch of tape featuring "wesley crusher" the character that people really wanted to see in star trek films...but paramount realized it too late...just as wil wheaton the award winning actor who portrayed "wesley" became too expensive to appear in a star trek film...after his back to back blockbuster "action hero" films.
Posted by: d. burr | August 16, 2002 06:43 PM
Hi Wil, that is pretty funny especially the part about people kissing the reel one by one. Why would people wanna kiss a roach infested reel?
By the way, I just wanna say sorry that your not gonna be in Nemesis, I was looking forward to watching you in it!
Posted by: Rose | August 16, 2002 06:45 PM
Uh... where can I find those stories about klingon gang rapes?
Posted by: Chris | August 16, 2002 06:55 PM
That's utterly hilarious. It reminds me of the Church of Star Trek on Futurama (any possible guest spots for the talking head of Wesley Crusher?). Oh ewwwww---all that would set up some new and seriously wrong Klingon gang rape stories---sick puppies, all of them (as I run for cover---please sir, I beg forgiveness---I couldn't get rid of that horrible thought unless I wrote it---the voices . . . the voices):)
Posted by: jeffroDOH | August 16, 2002 07:04 PM
Well i'm still pissed that you wre cut.
Posted by: Roxy | August 16, 2002 07:04 PM
Behold The Reel of Wesley!
So many TV-MA one-liners, so little time...
Posted by: LittleGuy | August 16, 2002 07:26 PM
No, the shoe!
Posted by: Julia | August 16, 2002 07:51 PM
You know, now I thing the saying of the moment should be, "KISS MY REEL!"
I know, that was lame. I'm trying to type and listen to this BBC radio thingee.
Posted by: Toonces | August 16, 2002 07:53 PM
Hey Wil, I know this isn't the topic but I wanna let you know that I stayed up til 4am (thats the time it is in UK now) and caught your radio talk Good luck with the two movie deals!
Posted by: Rose | August 16, 2002 08:03 PM
Mark Hamil kicks serious ass!
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&safe=off&q=wil+wheaton+dork
Hey, man, it deserves to be public. It's like I'm your alter ego.
Well, you know, except with the same shitty luck.
Seriously, dude.
Posted by: Roughy | August 16, 2002 08:10 PM
Just out of curiosity... do you seek out the aforementioned Klingon-Wesley anecdotes, or do they find you...?
Posted by: kendoka | August 16, 2002 08:15 PM
Ummmmmm, "Klingon gang rape"??? :o
Did I miss something?
Posted by: Eli (aka hal97) | August 16, 2002 08:19 PM
Roughy... where exactly does Mark Hamil play into all of this...?
Posted by: kendoka | August 16, 2002 08:20 PM
Klingon gang rape?? *shudder*
Posted by: Mugazi | August 16, 2002 08:31 PM
Klingon Gang Rape? The phrase "ribbed for her pleasure" suddenly springs to mind...
Posted by: Random_Tangent | August 16, 2002 08:41 PM
LMFAO!:)
Posted by: SpiderWebb | August 16, 2002 08:46 PM
Coming up next on E's True Hollywood Story...
Following the ego-crushing editing of Star Trek: Nemesis, Wil returns from the brink of madness and addiction.
[WIL] I mean, what was next for me? Change my name to Corey?
...when E's True Hollywood Story returns...
Posted by: Fraize | August 16, 2002 08:56 PM
man, you're doing it right!
First off, I want to see the Klingon gang rape stuff.
Nextly- you are the next generation of celebrity. It's pretty frikking cool, don't you think?
You're the most famous Blogger in the universe!
I mean, who watches TV anymore?
Posted by: jenlight | August 16, 2002 09:08 PM
ok Seriously you were a MAJOR motive no offence but in your last post youi talked about uniforms and i HAVE to ask even though it is totally off THIS subject WHAT WAS WITH THE BELT?!?!?!?!?! I mean oh my gosh.... Ok, ok ,ok everyone who is reading this is probabley like WTF?!?!?... But for anyone who has ever watched Star Trek: The Next Generation and has seen the grey uniform with that belt thingee-ma-bob there is a little part that sticks out and it is REALLY annyoing! I mean no offence but i just have this overwelming urge to fix that belt (even though it is not humanly possible!)... SORRY that this si SO of subject but i just HAD to tell you! so with those words i leave you saying...
P*E*A*C*E....
---->JuStInE
Posted by: Justine | August 16, 2002 09:17 PM
klingon gang rape...a little publicized but very sad fact of klingon life during long cruises aboard a bird of prey...for a true klingon it is a very high honor to be the victim of this rite...wil...unfortunatly is not a klingon.
Posted by: d. burr | August 16, 2002 09:30 PM
This is starting to sound like a Monty Python routine. Thanks for sharing Wil.
By the way, stay away from horny Klingons.
Peace
Posted by: Patrick | August 16, 2002 09:37 PM
I would like to express deepest regrets for Wil Wheaton's being cut from the movie. *Sigh, shudder* At the same time, i'd like to share one of those ideas for an episode that we all love so much: "Closure for Crusher." Plot: Wesley and the Traveler visit the "Enterprise" era (the TV show. Upon discovering the invention of the holodeck, Wes, *scientist* that he is, decides he must be one of the first to use this. He slugs down a couple of Shirley Temples beforehand, however, and is not in his right mind when he commands that holodeck to "take him to hell." His dead carcass is found the next morning.
Posted by: Darlene | August 16, 2002 09:38 PM
Wil,
Please do not loose it on me man. If you must, seek-help. Captain Crusher, the traveler,
who needs no space-ship. I don't know or maybe it is the hot temperatures. That is another long entry and yes if no one hears it, the tree does fall. I can not remember who said that right now but it is true, maybe. Please do not forget that it is Friday or Saturday or fun-day. You are a strange man at times.
F.G.
Posted by: Fabian | August 16, 2002 10:28 PM
oh Dude!! TFF!!! with tears in my eyes-- those first three posts got me!!!!ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!The Pulp Fiction ref was a good one!!
Posted by: Andie-Gypsy_girl | August 16, 2002 10:46 PM
Mmmm.... Klingon Gang Rape....
Posted by: scaryduck | August 17, 2002 03:02 AM
I GOT IT!!! Bring Wesley back from whatever realms of Klingon rape hell he is in for the Federation needs him yet again. I figure with these new found gifts, Wes would be the perfect person to go up against Q! They could title the movie "Star Trek The Q Crusher." WELL?
Posted by: Patrick | August 17, 2002 04:42 AM
you know what...the people who cut you in this movie didnt relize that they just lost a good amount of money by doing that. It's too bad, no offence, but I never really watched Star Trek, but I was willing to see the movie if you were in it anyways! oh well... And i would have definately paid $8 for that reel!
your fan,
sara
Posted by: sara :) | August 17, 2002 05:58 AM
Now that is some funny shit!....Oh and Wil stay far far away from the Klingons!
Posted by: Donna | August 17, 2002 06:15 AM
Klingons RAPE?
Shit, I thought they were just having a hard time getting their dicks out of their uniform pants. Next time, I'll put up a fight.
No wonder they couldn't trade for me at lunch.
Posted by: Jim | August 17, 2002 06:15 AM
Did Spudnuts write that entry on Usernet?
Nah..it would have been better.
Hang in there Wil..you are loved.
Posted by: bluecat-redblanket | August 17, 2002 07:01 AM
Possible contents of the scene that was cut?
1. Wesley Crusher, all grown up and first officer of a starship, has to stand back and look amazed as some new teenage snot-nosed punk genius saves _his_ ship.
2. Wesley shows up for 5 minutes, tells Data how to save the ship, and vanishes. Data spens rest of film following Wesley's instructions; the ship is saved. (Yeah, that really does spoil the story. I'd have cut it, too.)
3. Wesley is married to a hot babe and stationed on DS9, where the Enterprise has been docked before embarking on a mission. Tells Giordi LaForge and Reg Barclay that he always had more dates with "real girls" and advises them to "get out of the holodeck and get a life"
4. During his time with the Traveller, Wesley develops his initial guess that "time, and space, and thought... are all the same thing," and concludes that the whole Universe is just "pretend". Spends too much of the movie trying to convince Riker, who never believed anything Wes said anyway, that it was all just a TV show. Riker doesn't believe him even when Wes points out the camera and crew working off-set.
Posted by: Drakensykh | August 17, 2002 07:38 AM
Remind me to protest to Usenet about the lack of any Klingon gang rape of Wesley.
Posted by: Boots Malloy | August 17, 2002 08:51 AM
"Still Others because due to our homoerotic crushes on Mr. Wheaton..."
There's your source of Klingon gang rape stories.
Posted by: Bastian227 | August 17, 2002 09:38 AM
The Revenge of the Reel
By Edgar Allan DOH
I sit in concentration
In deathly silence staring
Upon the Reel of Wesley
For 3 cycles of the moon
Eating little - drinking less
To hasten the promised vision
Of knowledge long forbidden
I drive my senses reeling
To the place of sanitiy's realing
Til the roach comes knocking
Knocking on my door
(What? Ravens are sooooooooo passe.)
And in a voice, both calm and deep
(A role tailor made for James Earl Jones
Get his agent on the phone
And if he's not at home
Then that Hamill guy will have to do)
The roach begins to speak.
"Sorry to disappoint you, kid
And I know that this will shock you
But the real of Wesley
Is not within this Reel contained."
Quickly shooting out my hand
I grab an empty bottle
And turn the heretical roach
Into a paste upon the floor
I calmly resume my fevered staring
Upon the Reel of Wesley
Awaiting truer visions
To come knocking on my door
(I'm hoping for Cameron Diaz
Trailed by Jennifer Lopez
Who is just ahead of
Sweden's Olympic Bikini Team)
Posted by: Fred Fowler | August 17, 2002 12:08 PM
Klingon gang rape? I'd rather burn my sockets out. But the guys look wierd so best not ask anymore questions.
Posted by: Anna | August 17, 2002 12:14 PM
I wanna see wil gang raped by Wil Riker.
Posted by: hops | August 17, 2002 12:48 PM
Im imagining a "Raider of the Lost Ark" style death to all non-belivers who look upon the reel, with mr Wheaton descending from on high to smite his enemies with...erm....something...maybe an all powerful monkey avatar...i'll go now.
Ps Congrats to any A-levelers. Hope u got what u wanted...I did :-}
PPS How can wil riker (one) perform a gang rape (many)? Anyone...Please...?
Posted by: EnglishBen | August 17, 2002 12:59 PM
There's always:
"The DREAD PIRATE WESLEY is HERE for your SOULS!!!!!"
That'd work too. Gotta figure a way to fit the Reel and Roughy's cat in there too somehow, tho'.
Posted by: MrsVeteran | August 17, 2002 01:07 PM
...It sure was strange to see something on Usenet about me that didn't involve Klingon gang rape.
*spits A&W Cream Soda all over monitor, keyboard, and printer with new cartridge*
*strikes Kirk-like pose*
WHEATON!
Posted by: Radiofreewill | August 17, 2002 01:08 PM
Klingon.
Gang.
Rape.
*BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!*
Posted by: Cherish | August 17, 2002 01:18 PM
EnglishBen:
"PPS How can wil riker (one) perform a gang rape (many)? Anyone...Please...?"
Easy... Wil Riker has a duplicate created by mixing an ion storm and a transporter explained in that one episode. Though two people don't necessarily constitute a gang, I think having two horny Rikers is close enough. :)
Posted by: Bastian227 | August 17, 2002 01:56 PM
It is the year 2368:
A crowd has gathered to open a vault containing the two pieces of human history thought too dangerous to be in the public domain. But the protests of billions have finally been heard and the contents will be revealed.
Suddenly, a hiss penetrates the crowd. I sounds like a warm ten story beer can cracking open.
The crowd draws a collective breath. The vault is breached.
One man enters. Two packets adorn a small table.
One, a pile of dusty, molding sheafs of ancient paper - the dead sea scrolls - are shoved aside.
The true treasure is a reel of tape.
A cockroach scuttles away in panic as the reel is lifted gently from the table.
Its title: Crusher, TNG; Nemesis.
A jumbo-tron screen displays the reel to the waiting crowd's eyes. Shouts of joy and fear fill the air.
An atmosphere of tension fills the silence which issues after the initial outbreak of emotions.
The man brings out the reel and threads it into an ancient device. The jumbo-tron goes blank for an instant.
Then, to all waiting eyes, the screen is filled with the visage of Wesley Crusher. Not a sound issues from the crowd now. Not one breath is taken.
The action begins: It is a wedding reception. Wesley reaches over and pinches Lefler's ass, with a caress bordering on waxing affection. He smiles to someone off camera, then staggers to his knees and falls to the ground. The world spins, fades to black.
The action continues: New scene. A hospital room. 21st century. An old woman, Wesley's mother, leans over the hospital bed looking at Wesley with love and concern in her eyes. Wesley cracks a weak smile. He looks around. "Where am I?"
"We thought you would never come around, son. You have been in a comma for eight years. The only words you ever spoke were, 'aye captain', and other nonsense. The doctor's say you can lead a normal life now."
Fade to black.
Posted by: Nyarl | August 17, 2002 02:11 PM
JuStInE,
The unzipped looking belt had it's own thread in the soapbox when he first started this new page up - it's probably still there. There are many of us that couldn't understand why someone didn't fix that.
Posted by: jodilyn | August 17, 2002 02:23 PM
*shudder* klingon gang rape.... do tell how your children turn out ;p
Posted by: alden | August 17, 2002 02:59 PM
ROTFLMFAO!!!! That was EXCELLENT!!!
Thanks for sharing that.
BTW, may we presume that either McFadden's or Sirtis' screen time was also cut to ribbons?
Take care and enjoy your family!
***THE BEEJ***
Posted by: THE BEEJ | August 17, 2002 03:54 PM
this is hilarious :) klingon gang rape... tad disturbing
Posted by: twitchy | August 17, 2002 04:51 PM
Hey, Wil -
Sorry about the Star Trek scene.
Maybe you and Spudnuts can get the rights on cut scenes from a lot of different movies on the cheap and make the Great American Epic.
Your day will come... and we'll be waiting.
Best regards!
Posted by: Bill Bekkenhuis | August 17, 2002 05:11 PM
I can see it now.
Candlelight vigils at the Hollywood dump.
;;;
Posted by: Keith in Montana | August 17, 2002 06:51 PM
Heh-heh- Nyarl said Wesley's been in a comma for eight years... that stuff just cracks me up! Anyway, Wil, as usual, I enjoyed your message.
Love, Alicia
www.thewagband.com
Posted by: Alicia | August 17, 2002 07:02 PM
Klingon gang rape? Now there's a notion I was completely unaware of and did not need to know about.
Posted by: Kman | August 17, 2002 07:45 PM
u should tell Rick Berman to let the hours go 3 hrs. he must be retarded if he thinks cutting 48 mins will make Star Trek fans happy. Also friggen Insurrection was like and hour and 30 minutes, there were voyager episodes longer than that. i hope the ass hole dont make Nemesis under 2 hrs
Posted by: Chuck | August 17, 2002 07:47 PM
I am a complete loser with a tiny, tiny penis.
Posted by: Charles | August 17, 2002 07:54 PM
Tee hehe that is funny!!!!
Posted by: Ericka | August 17, 2002 08:21 PM
Too fucking funny, realy it is. I've read you for a while and never commented, but anyone who knows me would be unsurprised that the combination of Usenet and Klingon gang rape is what got me to speak up. ;)
Good to see you in something other than ST slashfic, at least. Just wish you'd get a touch more actual work. Wesley, after all, wasn't your fault. You, sir, are pretty damn entertaining.
Posted by: Fox | August 17, 2002 09:21 PM
Sorry to hear about the cuts.
Any chance they might appear on the DVD. Ok jumping the gun The movie hasnt reached final print and Im hoping that footage didnt reach the can before they realize you can draw em in *um Duh!* If its any consolation in regards to Klingon Gang Rape. They have you making love to every lady on the ship in a very posative way in some Mind Control storys on the net.
- Brothersleep. (you woulda been great as the Sandman) off topic me sorry.
Posted by: Chett Baker | August 17, 2002 09:47 PM
Chuck, great idea. I personally would spend 20 bucks a ticket to see a 3 or 4 hour long Star Trek. The longer, the better in my opinion.
TM
Posted by: ffolkes | August 17, 2002 10:13 PM
It sucks that someone with an amazing personality as you has been thru what you've been thru.
As Jewel says, I suppose...
"Sometimes it be that way."
Posted by: Farfalla | August 18, 2002 12:43 AM
Well at least Rick can put in the entire 3 hours including your cut scenes in the Director's Cut edition of the DVD. When released, if not they could be alot of pissed fans out there, mailny cause this is the last film and they havent included you in any of the movies. Anyway the ENTIRE Nemesis could be leeched on the Internet in November so ppl could get thier hands on the Cut scenes rather than wait for this DVD edition to come out.
Posted by: Cal111983 | August 18, 2002 05:29 AM
WESLEY REEL ALERT!!
Sources indicate that the Wesley cut scene reel has been secreted out of Hollywood by US Military personnel and brought to Area 51 for analysis and duplication.
Sources also confirmed that the Yucca mountain site, which was to be used for nuclear waste storage, will be redesigned to house and preserve the Wesley cut scene instead.
More on this breaking story as it happens!
Posted by: Nyarl | August 18, 2002 07:43 AM
maybe i was crazy and maybe i was just like 12 by the time the show ended but my homoerotic crush on wil didn't begin until i found this site... and thanks for the dream last night wil, or perhaps you should be thanking me ;)
marc
Posted by: marc | August 18, 2002 10:21 AM
The scene in question will make the DVD, right? Probably?
Posted by: Tom Working | August 18, 2002 11:52 AM
Hey yeah seiously i know it has been asked before but what the hell is with the Klingon gang rape?!?!?!?!?!? Oh well anyway, i sit here watching one of those episodes of Star Trek: The Next Gneration with our favorite ensign Wesley Crusher (with the grey uniform) that i commented on earlier and i swear not that i have anything against it but WTF is up with the belt?!?!?!?!? please it bothers me tell me, tell me please...
wait i have to go and do laundry give me a sec to do that and then i'll be right back...
AHHHHH the laundry it's atacking.....
(Justine is heard to scream and and then found in a pile on the floor unconcious.....she never had a chance)..... well. i lived anyway (aren't you just so gald) so just wanted to say, wait, what DID i want to say oh well when i remeber i'll tell you, until then i leave you people with this... "happy, happy joy, joy,.." -Stimpy of "The Ren And Stimpy Show"
P*E*A*C*E....hey i remember i wanted to say FUNNY post i specially love the kissing of the reel of wesley also that i think it is TOTALLY screwed up that they would put "Guinan" (whoopi Goldburg) before they would put Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton) in?!?!?!?!?
>---JUSTINE---
Posted by: Justine | August 18, 2002 12:25 PM
[i]The scene in question will make the DVD, right? Probably?[/i]
Wait wait... is *this* the scene with Klingon gang rape?
Damn you, MPAA censors! Anything to get a PG-13 rating!
Posted by: LittleGuy | August 18, 2002 01:35 PM
Is it me or have people used this post as an excuse to admit the homoerotic crush they had on wesley/wil throughout their "confused" period during puberty?
I, on the other hand, will keep mine purely suppressed until my therapist recommends otherwise...
Posted by: EnglishBen | August 18, 2002 05:07 PM
Wicked once again Wil's humour amazes me I'm sitting here watching him on Canadian TV on a show called 'Twice in a Lifetime' as I write this. Last week before I found this site I would have thought Wil was a sincere down to earth guy now I know he's way cooler than that and loves to laugh
Posted by: Mike Higgs | August 18, 2002 05:55 PM
am i the only one who will not be satisfied with wil's scene being included in the DVD...i want to see it on the big screen where it belongs!...wil seems to be taking this outrage with maturity and class...so it's up to us to bitch and raise hell!...why should we have to wait, god only knows how long to see the lost scenes of "wesley" on DVD...come on mr. berman...cut something else!...klingon gang rape is all well and good for klingons...if they live through it!...but it's just not good enough for wesley crusher...no sir!
Posted by: d. burr | August 18, 2002 06:02 PM
Great - now I'm never going to sleep, after reading the phrase "Klingon Gang Rape."
Posted by: Joseph J. Finn | August 18, 2002 06:52 PM
"klingon gang rape" an exciting new reality series coming this fall to UPN! this new series takes reality down a dark path never before shown on network television..."klingon gang rape"...thursday nights right after "smackdown" on UPN!
Posted by: d. burr | August 18, 2002 07:30 PM
I think the fact that your previous post about the film had 491 responses is reason enough to know that Wil Wheaton has far surpassed Wesley Crusher in popularity, and rightly so. People really care, Wil, they really care.
Posted by: duchess | August 18, 2002 08:16 PM
You think Klingon Gang Rape is funny. You should watch 'Python.' Now that's about as painful as Klingon Gang Rape, but it's still a good watch. Poor Richard Clabaugh.
Posted by: Random_Tangent | August 18, 2002 08:49 PM
One minor point:
I think a group of Klingons are a "gaggle" not a "gang".
Posted by: Dude | August 18, 2002 08:49 PM
Actually. .
"I think the fact that your previous post about the film had 491 responses is reason enough to know that Wil Wheaton has far surpassed Wesley Crusher in popularity, and rightly so. People really care, Wil, they really care."
I care more bout Wesley :D Or. . it might be balanced. But seriously Berman sucks.
Posted by: Chelsey | August 18, 2002 10:04 PM
I'll be honest with you, Wil... I never liked Wesley as a character. Maybe the fact that he was a rather unlikable, gawky youth on the show was due to the fact that you are simply a wonderful actor. Regardless, the end of TNG never bothered me by the absence of Wesley from my life.
But you know, I find this place by accident and read your last two posts... And I have to say, you're a lot different than anything I ever saw in your character.
Your blog reads like those of a dozen friends of mine... Fears, trials, convictions. And your ability to laugh at yourself and the things you have become associated with makes me pretty proud of you. If that means anything at all to ya. ;)
Buck up. I never made a movie or a TV show, and most people will probably NEVER hear of me. But you learn the same lessons I have and am, and you go through the same things. And I get the feeling you're doing a damned fine job.
Well, enough back-patting. Take care. Keep up the good work.
Posted by: Adam Wade | August 18, 2002 10:49 PM
Dude said:
"One minor point:
I think a group of Klingons are a "gaggle" not a "gang"."
This is correct, unless the Klingons are sleeping. Then, they are a "giggle".
The reason this is not widely known is mainly due to the Klingon dislike of being called a giggle, which is why it's only spoken whilst they are sleeping.
Posted by: KJB | August 19, 2002 03:02 AM
Wil, do you have any idea how difficult it is to explain to colleagues how the phrase 'Klingon gang rape', in that context, can cause hysterics? Could you please explain it to them? They all just keep looking at me in a kind of worried way ... ;o)
Posted by: Josh | August 19, 2002 03:48 AM
Klingon gang-rape, huh? I was surfing the other night and came across some slash-fic that had you doing it with some holodeck-generated dude. It was just a short little story with some guy walking into the holodeck and then embarking on a quickie thing with another guy, no names were mentioned until the end, when the guy in question says "Computer, end program, Crusher such and such (sorry, I'm not a huge enough Trek fan to recall your identification number and no, gay slash-fic isn't my bag - never fear, I'm more a counselor Troi type myself ;) Just thought you'd wanna know there were psycho homosexual Crusher lovers on the everyday www sites, not just usenet. Thank God I'm not famous...sigh.
Posted by: Jimmy Olsen | August 19, 2002 05:34 AM
A grouping of Klingons should be a MURDER of Klingons.
Posted by: Fraize | August 19, 2002 06:50 AM
As a gay guy, I never had a crush on Wil during his Trek run. He was what 15 when the show began. I was 25. That’s boarding on priests’ territory. It’s like the militant wing of the Girl Scouts –there are just some lines you don’t cross. Now Wil is 30, married and the stepfather of two. The priests have moved on. Besides, guys with kids are much hotter. Don’t know why. Also, consider this: with so many of us admitting our “homoerotic” crush on him, he’ll need that restraining order. Except from me. I’ll stay here in Chicago and wait for Mr. Wheaton to appear on Enterprise or a sequel to that bizarre film Mr. Stitch. Or come to Chicago for a visit. Boystown can be fun…
Posted by: Electric Monk | August 19, 2002 07:04 AM
Good to see you rolling with the punches, Wil. :)
Posted by: Amy | August 19, 2002 09:24 AM
> It sure was strange to see something on Usenet
> about me that didn't involve Klingon gang rape.
Priceless!
Very interesting site - found the link on www.geeknews.net. You seem like a decent chap after all ;-)
Lee
Posted by: Lee | August 19, 2002 10:11 AM
Wesley is Dead. Long Live Wesley!
Or something like that.
But, as you said Wil. Tis better to have love, and lost, then never to have been on a Star Trek series at all.
Or something like that.
But just remember Wil. Friends and Family will rush out and buy the 3-Hour Director's Cut for Nemisis. Just to see your scenes.
Beau
Posted by: RevXaos | August 19, 2002 10:54 AM
Fraize,
Good one. Of course they're a Murder of Klingons. :)
Posted by: Joseph J. Finn | August 19, 2002 11:20 AM
I always thought that the Wesley Crusher character was a bit too gay anyway. Personally I am glad that they axed him (don't take it personally Will, you played the character well....has nothing to do with your acting ability.)
Good luck in your future adventures!
B
Posted by: OhTheBill | August 19, 2002 11:23 AM
Wil,
you know those Visa commercials? well here goes..
A movie ticket $8.00
A bag of popcorn and a Coke $6.50
Watching a band of Klingons Gang bang Wesley Crusher....Priceless
Later Wil,
Matt......
Posted by: Matt | August 19, 2002 11:35 AM
And here I was all getting all wet and bothered that I would see Wesley in uniform once again. Thank you Mr. Berman for saving me the money not only on the movie tickets, but the cost of a marriage counselor after seeing such a HOTTY in uniform again.
Sorry Wil, glad to see you have such a great attitude about it all. I sure as hell don't!!
TSLG
Posted by: TSLG | August 19, 2002 11:52 AM
What's Star Trek:TNG without you?
I've been a huge fan of you since Encounter at Far Point. Please make an effort to have a snip of you on Nemesis.
I felt the news was so important being sad..., I even had to write a short article on the news and posted it on my riva3d site. My article on your notorious news was posted here: http://www.riva3d.com/nws/cgi-bin/archives.cgi?category=1&view=8.13.02-8.19.02
Posted by: JimmyK | August 19, 2002 11:52 AM
Hey!
alt.usenet.made.you.look
Posted by: Spudnuts | August 19, 2002 12:43 PM
I found this on a friend's livejournal today and was just very impressed with your ability to laugh at yourself. Go you! For what it's worth, Star Trek Next Gen is still my all-time favorite TV show, and I never disliked your character or understood the whole "Kilingon gang rape" mentality. I'm sorry that people have been mean, but I really admire you for keeping up a postive and humorous attitude. That takes guts and wisdom. Good luck in your career!
Posted by: Rhia | August 19, 2002 01:07 PM
IP ban huh??
You have had it now mister!
BUHAHAHAHAHA!!
Captain Kirk 4 evah!
http://linux.bashdot.org
Posted by: j0nkatz | August 19, 2002 01:18 PM
Klingon gang-rape?! That made me laugh out loud!
Posted by: Bonnie | August 19, 2002 02:20 PM
That was the funniest thing I've read in AGES!!!
erica
Posted by: Erica | August 19, 2002 02:59 PM
Er...wasn't that an old 'Echo and the Bunnymen' tune, from Porcupine? Wasn't it?
Posted by: Ken | August 19, 2002 05:19 PM
My apologies. I failed to read your section on proper posting etiquette. I was actually referring to the entry just below this one: "Spare us the Cutter." Now that I think of it, the song was called, simply, "The Cutter." Please disregard.
Posted by: Ken | August 19, 2002 05:23 PM
Bruddah. It's been a few days. Can Wil come out and play?
Posted by: Ken | August 19, 2002 05:28 PM
In response to an earlier comment:
"That's utterly hilarious. It reminds me of the Church of Star Trek on
Futurama (any possible guest spots for the talking head of Wesley
Crusher?). "
While that would be very cool last i heard Fox had not ordered any new episodes of futurama to be made, so the series is as good as dead (in a coma at least). Fox are so stupid if the Simpsons were created today they would cancel it. I cannot beleive the dropped Dark Angel, and the last episode was almost a cliff hanger with loads of stuff unresolved.
Oops i have gone way offtopic.
The funny was story :)
and i thought "the Reel" sounded more like something out of the life of brian than out of the Holy Grail.
Posted by: Alan | August 20, 2002 05:27 AM
Is this true? People were really doing this? Is this all they think about other than their SSI check that comes every month? What a fucking life.
J.
Posted by: Jaden | August 20, 2002 06:41 AM
Well my goodness, I suppose I should start copyrighting my Usenet posts like JMS. Nah, too much bother.
Though the fact that some of the comments reflect the sentiments I was mocking in the post, is a lot scarier than any Klingon gang rape.
Posted by: O. Deus | August 20, 2002 08:40 PM
O-Deus:
I tried to email this to you privately, but alas there was no obvious address on your website (which is utterly brilliant, and hilarious, BTW.)
When this post was emailed to me, it wasn't credited with any author. I looked it up on Google, and saw your name attached, and left it off because I wasn't sure if you'd want the extra attention.
Since you've commented here, I'm going to edit the original post to reflect your authorship, with a link to your homepage.
thanks for making me laugh.
-Wil
Posted by: wil | August 21, 2002 12:47 AM
Oh I don't actually mind, though having someone tell me that my post had ended up here did make for a somewhat surreal encounter.
Posted by: O. Deus | August 21, 2002 09:57 PM
Bring Back Wesley
Posted by: Phil | August 22, 2002 01:47 AM
"Is it me or have people used this post as an excuse to admit the homoerotic crush they had on wesley/wil throughout their "confused" period during puberty?"
Darn, you caught me ;)
Seriously though, how could I ever forget my first crush? I was what, 10 then? :P I remember saving all my measly $1 allowance to buy one of those 8x10 photos they sold at the trek convention...
And WHERE can I find those Klingon gang rape stories? ::snerk::
Posted by: Artemis | August 22, 2002 07:39 PM
I recently checked the Internet Movie Database concerning an old film you did, The Last Starfighter. You are listed as "Louis's friend" with the notation (Scene deleted). I don't know what is worse, being credited and deleted or not showing up at all
Posted by: Kaideb | August 24, 2002 07:05 PM
I missed the last post because I don't get on the net a lot. As far as getting cut from the movie, there is always the special edition dvd with all the cut scenes from the movie.
Posted by: Ogre | August 26, 2002 11:19 AM
That is indeed sad to hear - both your being cut from the movie, and the wake around the garbage can - "Someone left his reel out in the rain..." comes to mind. I've discovered your Blogger by accident while surfing, but have been enjoying it!
Best of luck with your future endevors!
As for Klingon Gang Rape? Be lucky you wern't Bill Mumy in Lost in Space - jokes too numerous to mention have involved young Wil, Dr. Smith, and THE ROBOT. *shudders* Don't ask... *grins*
Posted by: Wabbit Californicus | August 27, 2002 02:28 PM