« In the Flat Field | Main | fhqwhgads »

Click Friend and Enter!

Get ready to have a non-productive rest of the week:

Nethack 3.4.1 is out!

They would have to release this when I'm on a deadline, wouldn't they?

If you missed it, yesterday's Strong Bad Email is good for spreading some mirth.

Looks like John Ashcroft has run out of naked statues to cover up.

I had a dream last night: the world was set on fire, and everywhere I ran, there was a deadly war.

Oh, wait. That's not what happened.

I dreamed that I was standing at the base of a really tall Mayan pyramid, hoping to get to the top. I was surrounded by people who looked like they were on The Simpsons, but if I looked at them directly, they vanished.

When I tried to climb the pyramid, the steps would scroll down, like an escalator, and Professor Frink would pass me coming down over and over again. I never made it past the first step, no matter how hard I climbed.

Stupid symbolic dreams, with the pyramids and the escalators and the FLAVEN.

I order ISBNs today. Holy shit.


It's spelled Mayan, not Myan. Sorry to be nitpicky . . . .

You want to attain something but something is holding you back;you're right, FLAVEN!

Englilsh Paper by Wil "The Frink Dart" Wheaton.

Oh man, Ze-Mag makes with the funny. I TOTALLY should have signed this "The Yellow Dart."

Fixing my misspelling noe.

Heh. "noe"

regarding Ashcroft's lastest scheme you may want to check out the CNet news article (http://news.com.com/2100-1023-985785.html?tag=cd_mh) for some other - more troubling - aspects of the case.

"Marc Rotenberg of the Electronic Privacy Information Center said redirecting Web visitors to DEA.gov raises novel legal issues. "It sounds like this is a concluded drug operation segueing into a new sting operation," he said. "In effect, the defunct Web sites become electronic flypaper for those looking for illegal drug paraphernalia, reporters covering the story, and people who have trouble spelling in Google."

Nethack escapism, here I come!

Hearing about dreams like this make me glad that I don't remember mine.

Regarding your dreams: me thinks you have been spending too much time playing games..eh Wil?

ISBN'S...YEAH!! "THE BOOK'S" are getting closer!

My grandpa used to say:

Wake-up and piss, the world's on fire!

Early, early in the mornings.

When I got older, I asked, "Grandpa, why do you say that stupid thing every morning when I'm here, besides to scare the bejezus out of me?" and he answered:

"If the world was on fire and everyone pissed on it, there'd be no more fire. See?"

I still don't.

I used to have that dream when I was a kid, only mine was a giant boulder rolling down-hill behind me. (I'm around Wil's age and this was at five or six, *before* 'Raiders...'. Don't accuse me of having memories like Bill Murray did in 'Scrooged'.)

There's all kinds of psycho-babble Freudian BS that one can read into it if one wants. Powerlessness, looming deadlines. One wants to sleep with one's mother. Er, okay. Maybe not that.

My wife has dreams and wants to analyse them all to hell. I just think it's the Mind's playground.

"Waitaminute, guys! Consciousness isn't looking. Now we can get away with all that crap that it won't let us do when it's around!"

Then again, there are all those Jerry Lewis dreams ....


hey if you like humor like the onion and strongbad email, you should check out the brunching shuttlecocks. http://www.brunching.com/ enjoy!

Your dream is a quite common one and is called a Sisyphean Task. http://www.pantheon.org/articles/s/sisyphus.html

As for your frustrating obstacles in writing (detailed a few weeks ago) I would suggest you get the book "Becomming a Writer" by Dorothea Brande. It addresses the psychological aspect of being an author (as opposed to the technical) especially those issues of people's perceptions.

Good luck.

I have a friend who analyzes dreams, and I always try mine out on him, just to see how much nonsense he can spout in 15 minutes. And to laugh at him. I stumped him once, though, I had a dream about babies and water that looked like blood, and he had no idea what in the hell it meant. I laughed.

there are days when I wonder if the world is better off with Senator Ashcroft as the US top cop. most of the time I think that it isn't....

One of these days I'll finally beat nethack.

Oh my god, my grandma was a druggie! She had this collection of miniature spoons!! A different one to use in each state! And some from other countries, like Aruba and the Bahamas...

I'm crushed.


Gotta love those dreams, eh Wil? Here's a scarier thought. I walk through my neighborhood, totally awake. Same neighborhood I've stomped around in for over 20 years. And now, with the way everything is, I see each house with sandbags and munitions, the whole place is a war zone. I only hope that it stays just a vision. Just had three of my old friends shipped to the sandbox in the last few days. After the 1st Gulf War, I though I had this war thing beat. Guess I was wrong. Here's to hoping for peace...

Good Boingo quote. After the first few words, I was actually singing the song. Thanks for brightening my day. After all, it truly IS just another day. :)


Is it FLAVEN or GLAVEN? I think its the latter.

I ordered ISBNs once, but then decided against it at the last moment when it turned out that the International Standard Book Numbers are not always numbers, don't always apply to books, are not standard and usually not international. It just seemed bizarre and wrong...

Oh, my. Every time I see the word "Ashcroft," I brace myself.

We live in scary, scary times.

ISBNs!!! *bounces* Yay! Good luck! Break a leg, what have you...I shall buy the book. Oh yes, I shall.
And hey, at least you didn't get sucked below the pyramid escalator in the dream or get your pants ripped off like in that candy bar commercial...
*envisions the pants thing...laughs ass off*
Couldn't help it.

Great blog today, I played and died. I laughed and lastly I am sorry about those weird dreams, I just needed a break from the pyramids. lol

*note to self: stop sending weird pyramid dream suggestions to Wil. ;) *

Hi NephraTari,
I've been unwell for the last few days nursing a flu and living off the Discovery Biography and History channels, have you been sending me weird dreams???
(Like I'm made of laminated sheets of fluorescent red glass???!!)

I'm going outside to bury all the pipes and spoons in Mother's garden gnome collection.


I used to play that game as a kid but we called it rogue. I spent hours playing that game and spent hours getting killed, usually cos I couldn't find any food, and a monsster came along a killed me because I was so weak.


There is an episode of the Simpson's where Homer goes in search of his soul mate. He is actually tripping after eating a red hot chili pepper at the chilli eating contest. Anyway, on his trip he encounters a Myan pyramid as you described which also scolls down as he tries to climb (sans Frink). Anyway, at the end of the episode he finds his soul mate.......Marge (of course). SO, this is either symbolic of a quest you need to go on or sybolic of the fact that you watch waaaaaay to much T.V.........Maybe a little from column A and a little from column B.

Search for the episode I am referring to. Perhaps there is truth to be found.

Good Luck.

P.S. - Wesley ruled.......it was his costumes that sucked.

Anyone else find the "burrito Auction" hidden link in SB's e-mail???

Check the essay!!!

I Really want the Bur(r)ito.


Please...I'm hungry.


So near and yet so far.

I know not of this Ashcroft fellow.

To the Hall of Villains!!! Away!!!

Ditto what Renpiti said.

I love obscure musical references - especially ones that take me back to High School ;) (I just hope the lyrics aren't too prophetic.)

Ashcroft, man... griganfragnmarrgle... argh.

Here's hoping you get some decent sleep.


Wil, I too had a weird dream. I dreamed I was a giant onion and every time I cut myself the people around me would start to cry.

"Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream."

Way too much Simpsons, Wil, just way too much. Maybe watch some TNG instead.

ISBN. Good, very good.

How much?

-The Crawling Chaos-

Note to self - Stick to solids for lunch.

OOOOOOOH!! YAY!! On the ISBN's! Can't wait to read your book.

At least there were no sun-god robes, or thousands of women screaming and throwing little pickles at you.

When I was little, I had this reoccurring nightmare that the mascot from Beaver Lumber was chasing me. To get away from him I had to run across the linoleum kitchen floor; Of course, I was wearing socks, so the harder I ran, the slower I went.

I haven’t slept since.

Nethack rocks!

I first tried it back in around 1993.
At first, my friend and I laughed at it's graphics.
Then, we played..and played and played.
And realized it was the finest RPG ever made.

Proof that you can't judge a game by it's graphics.

Dude -- lay off those pickled garlic eggs before bed!

/walks away eating batteries

For a fire-war-vanishing-people non-dream read the short story "Cassandra" by C.J. Cherryh. I read it last night in an anthology and it really got me thinking. Also the myth of Sisyphus . . .

Sometimes I wonder how I sleep at night, what with the news, sci fi stories, and fairy tales and myths roiling around in my head. Scary stuff. And then I dream about it - and I know other people do too.

You probably wouldn't really want make it to the top of one of those Mayan pyramids. They used to rip people's hearts out up there.

Take that, Space Coyote!

Ever have that dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Why am I the only one who has that dream?


I would like to interpret your dream if I could.

You see, the pyramids clearly represent giant boobies. The steps represent your awkwardness toward said boobies. Now then, the reason for this awkwardness is clearly rooted in your role on TNG in being in such close proximity of the actress, Marina Sirtis. You see, Wil, Marina (I call her Marina) had (has) big giant boobies and as a young lad you were drawn to them without your knowing like beacons to a lost sailor at sea Ė- however, your characterís uniform confused the issue and thus, to this day, even at your age (what are you now, 46, 47?) Ė- even today, you have been terribly harmed by those times in your youth and are now having such dreams.

Donít thank me, Wil. Iím happy to help. Truly.

God bless, son.


Mmmm... Marina...

I saw you doing an infomercial with some blonde woman (I forgot her name; it was 2AM). I even forget what it was you were selling. What was it again? Even though I was half awake, the product looked good.

Damn that Asscroft, what a jerkoff. Marijuana is not good for you, but it shouldn't be a crime unless alcohol is too. The hypocrisy of the U.S. government knows no bounds.

Hmm.. Fire... Burning... AHH My burrito!

Anywho, Nice entry there Wil. I had one of those scrolly stair dreams to except my scrolly stairs went in all directions.. craaaazy

"Looks like John Ashcroft has run out of naked statues to cover up."

Wil, you don't know half of this actrocity called "your tax dollars at work". Thanks to our wonderful "Patriot Act", even model rocketry may become outlawed:


All this nonstop misery since 2000, simply because people didn't like the fact that Clinton got a "hummer". Jeez!

PS: AssKKKroft is mainly going off on these jihads like this ever since he overstepped his bounds on announcing the arrest of that "dirty bomb" guy, and as a result Bush must have reduced his role in the "war on terrorism". Well, what's a flaming nazi jeezoid in power gonna do when he's now got more time on his hands?

Okay, tangent mode OFF. I shut up now.

You are most definitely my hero for spreading the Homestar love. My friends and I love it. And yes, they made me a build-a-bear for my birthday that when you squeeze the hand it says, "I am still awesome.....seriously" Oh Strongbad. Also, I just love your site in general- I have the same kind of humor and I love all the music you list and talk about. Good times with Wil.

Yay! The War on Drugs is back on!

"Something strange happened to me this morning."
"Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?"
"Why am I the only person that has that dream?"

You're doing fine, Wil. Let that inner geek completely free!

Two Bauhaus-inspired titles, and now more Boingo-inspired quoting...

Wil, Wil, Wil, if you weren't straight and I hadn't just found a boyfriend, I'd have to hunt you down and make you mine.

And we would talk about geeky computer crap over breakfast.

Oh well, guess we'll both have to make do with this Universe.

Actually, it's "There wasn't any water", but your version is more fitting for the times. :)

"And just when I think
That things are in their place
The heavens are secure
The whole thing explodes in my face"

I used to believe that "Stay" said "if we get the room one more night", since the video was in what appeared to be a hotel bar. I think I'll just believe that mixing "wasn't any water" with "was a deadly war" is just very clever wordplay, rather than a mistake.

You have some pretty funky dreams there Wil.

ISBN'S ISBN'S whoooooooohooooooooooooo.

Aaaaaaaaw I love the smell of ISBNS in the morning!

I had the same dream last night. The only thing different is that I was in a bus, somewhere in Germany, it was spring with full moon.
The driver was the villan from Under Siege 2.
I have to study for my MBA but I have been browsing weird stuff the last 3 days.
My name is Memento and I'm addicted to shitty webpages.

Operation Pipe Dreams? Is that not the silliest thing you've ever heard?

Going after people who are selling drug paraphernalia and stating that's it just as bad as selling drugs. What a crock o shit.

I still think Marijuana should be leagalized & our Federal money spent on something better than arresting people who sell Bongs.

Long time listener, first time caller.

YOu call THAT a dream?

What about you, Patrick Stewart, and a live action Gauntlet?!?

C'mon, Wil!! Gimme some sugar on that!! You were the friggin WARRIOR!!!

Were you stoned when you went to bed?

Wow, nethack! I played that back in the 80's, then again in college in the early 90's. Wow, can't wait to play it over and over and over again.

Yay Wil!

Ordering ISBNs... Just A Geek coming soon!



Your dream sounds like a program I might have written.

Wanna do the voice? ;-)

I'm looking foward to pre-ordering a copy on Amazon soon Wil. :-)

NetHack! w00t!

That's super strange. I had a similar dream like that a few weeks ago. It's been a reoccuring dream ever since. We must be on some wacky geeky wavelength. Simspons always make for a good background to pyramids if you really think about it.

Don't order it from Amazon - either get it directly from Wil (I'm *sure* he'll be selling it here) or get it from your local store - any small town bookstore can always order anything, even if they don't carry it - they need us to survive, but Amazon does not ...

Having said that, one of my favorite places is still the Barnes and Noble sales/used book annex ... -

hmm...Simpson's. I like the Simpson's.


Take that John Ashcroft!!! Geek revenge is the sweetest.

I think we all know a either pot smoker or a dealer. And these people are ussually are friends and family. So since we know these people, does this make us accomplises in the so called crime. Why does'nt the government go after the crack, acid, herion, extasy and crack dealers rather then going after the potheads.

Your dream reads like what most people describe as the mental effects caused by having a real job. Shake it off and you will be fine.


Wil, thanks for a fun post today! And thanks also to Ellen and Geoff for their contributions to the funny--I sincerely laughed my keister off at all of it...damn, where's that duct tape when you really need it?

Re: the "drug paraphernalia" issue...I went to the Gypsy Cafe in Westwood last Friday and, thanks to some peer pressure from my friends (it never goes away, no matter how old you get!), had my first experience with a hooka (the Middle Eastern water pipe most of us only know from the Caterpillar in "Alice in Wonderland")--and the traditonal shisha tobacco, which since it's mostly fruit essences and molasses made it a lot like smoking potpourri. My point (and I do have one, strangely enough) is that I liked the smell of the tobacco enough that I went hunting for sources online, and kept ending up in Internet head shops. Omigod, do you think Ashcroft'll get me? Oooooooooh nooooooooooo!

Anyway, looking forward to the book--ISBNs and away!


p.s. Not that I'm condoning breaking the law or anything, but one of my more "radical" instructors at massage school was of the opinion that the government is perfectly happy to permit/subsidize/endorse (and, lest we forget, tax!) virtually any drug, as long as it isn't a type that might lead to an expansion of consciousness and a desire to think for one's self--after all, what government wants to deal with a completely free-thinking constituency?

(That said, even the legalized and prescription drugs can mess you up or kill you if you overindulge...hell, I hardly even take aspirin anymore...)

Was I was long-winded tonight, or what...

It is raining today.


i always thought it was glaven, too.

Re: dream

If you really interested in dream interpretatons go to..... http://www.herownroom.com/fishbowl/index.php

Been to Mayan Pyramids, they are very informative places. Your dream makes me think of the state of the world and how man can't get past the first step of consciousness. The higher planes are definitely a worthwhile trip.

Dive in and Dream on.............


Was it that dream where you're standing in sort of sun-god robes, surrounded by thousands of naked women throwing little pickles at you?
Wait... wrong movie (http://www.fast-rewind.com/rgenius.htm).

Thanks for posting the nethack link - what fun! I haven't played Rogue since the 80's and had completely forgotten about it. Like all truly great software, it has improved with age.


these certainly are very "interesting times"

or just the start of; "the undiscovered country"

live long and prosper

weird dreams...i have 'em every night...including the scary apocalyptic ones...when i go to sleep i never know what i'm going to get.

Was it a dream where you were where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

why am i the only one who has that dream?

I have the same sort of dream, but I'm standing on an endtable, while naked women throw fresh fruit at me....

Does that make me weird?


Why do you need rockets with inter-continental range?

Are you trying to catch the world on fire or something?

telegram sam is a t rex song, but bauhaus sure did a great version of it.

I had a dream we stayed at home. Then i was 80. And Hussein was still alive, and the only people left in Iraq were him and the Republican Guard. He had palaces built of bodies. And people still marched in the streets here with "dont attack iraq signs". And they all had blindfolds and ear plugs on.

Bad Wil, evil Wil.

Nethack compiling right now. Your fault if I get fired, but it's not like I have any work to do.

Your tax dollars at play.

A Tourist

If model rockets are outlawed, only outlaws will have model rockets.

Will the government ever learn???

Hey, Great dreams! I just wanted to share a pearl of wisdom that dawned on me a few weeks ago, after waking up from a dream, in which I was in a public place in my underwear. This seems to be a common theme for some people, and now I know why. Forget all the symbolism crap, I found out what's really happening. As I was waking up out of it, half awake and half asleep, I realized, jeez, no wonder I feel like I'm in my underwear in my dream - I *am* in my underwear in real life! Duh!


ISBNs... will you get me a block of 1000 while you're at it? I'll pay you back in, ummmm... well, soon. Really.

nice Boingo ref. Wil!

Damn you, Wil Wheaton! I would've blissfully floated along with*out* NetCrack, and I would've gotten the paper I need to finish done too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids and that dog...

Oh, crap. I'm gonna go to bed NOW.

I had a dream the other night that I was about to fight in a war. I was drunk and couldn't move out of the way of flying bullets. Damn Medal of Honor, Frontline. Video Games...Mmmmmmm, video games.

Thanx for not writing this entry in elvish.


My favorite part of the Ashcroft story was the bit about "illicit drugs are making it into American households without parents knowing it," or whatever. See, what my mom did to combat that was to talk to us about it, made sure that we understood that we were not immune to addiction, and that we could talk to her about peer pressure of any kind without fear of retribution(I even talked to her about my feelings about having sex with my boyfriend when I was a teenager). She also made a point to know as much as she could about what we were doing and thinking without invading our privacy. She also made sure we knew that she cared very deeply for us and that if we chose to do drugs that it would upset and disappoint her that we had chosen to hurt ourselves. Is this the difference between left- and right- wing parenting? Maybe. One talks frankly about the ramifications of drunken driving, the other hides the keys. Which kid is better equipped to handle life on his own???

One way to interpret dreams is to free associate to the different items, activities, etc. in the dream. What do you think of when you think of the Simpsons? What associations do you have to pyramids, climbing, Professor Frink? You mentioned you have a wish to do a voice on the Simpsons but it hasn't happened yet... In the dream the Simpsons keep disappearing. Is that a connection for you?

Freud said that all dreams are wishes in disguise, that there is a gatekeeper we each have inside us. This gatekeeper takes an unconscious desire that the conscious mind would find objectionable and encodes it in dreams using symbols and metaphor. The task is to decode these symbols and metaphors. The way to do that is through free-association.

There are other theories about dreams too... Freud's isn't the only one. But it's an interesting exercise to look for the hidden wish in a dream. It might jog your writing as well.

Good luck!

Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Why, am I the only one who has that dream?

Website Broke soon to fix..

Ashcroft, eh. How many more of these @"£!¨ have you got in positions of power in the USA?

I'm in the UK so my Furry Freak Brothers comic collection should be safe for a little while longer.

ISBN's are the easy part. Definitely not a "holy shit". Do not fear the ISBN! :)

“People selling drug paraphernalia are in essence no different than drug dealers,” said John Brown, acting DEA chief. “They are as much a part of drug trafficking as silencers are a part of criminal homicide.”

- So are they arresting the people that make silencers too??

I downloaded it but it won't work, I tried to email the people and it got bounced back. Anyone want to help me out

1st March

Hey Wil,

I know you like Nethack, have an iBook and love JRR so you should really try ANGBAND. Check it out here:

Keep up the good work!


There *is* a Simpsons episode like your dream... wherein Homer samples Guatemalan Insanity Peppers and collapses into a hallucinatory dream with a shifting Southwestern desertscape, a huge Mesoamerican pyramid, and a talking coyote...

(Oh yes, and NH 3.4.1 is pure crack-addiction brain-candy... And they fixed that nasty nasty boulder/landmine bug... :-P )