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I used to be a big fan of South Park. I watched it every week, and anxiously awaited new episodes.

When I heard that they were making a movie, I was thrilled, and counted down the days until it opened. Of course, while the creators poured all their creative energy into the movie, the weekly content of the TV show suffered dramatically. It felt like filler with no creative soul, and I stopped watching.

So it is with WWDN as of late.

All of my creative energy and focus has gone into rewriting "Just A Geek," and racing to get it done in time for a late March release.

I love WWDN, and really enjoy writing for it, but I have limited resources in my head, and when I have to pick, the website takes a back seat to the book. I hope readers understand.

Having said all that, I'd like to offer a small excerpt from the book, so you can all see what I've been working on.

This is from Chapter three:

Writing about the satisfaction and love I felt when I was with my family came very easily. I didn't have to put on a brave face, or risk revealing how frustrated and tormented I was in my career. When I focused on my family, I felt liberated, and found humor and happiness at every turn.

28 August, 2001
Romper Stomper

From an e-mail I got this morning:

I'm writing a book about Romper Room and came across a TV appearance of you on a California show with Miss Nancy. You told the hosts you used to watch Romper Room ?religiously."

I'm writing to people who were on the show, or who watched the show, to get their impressions of Romper Room. I'm hoping you can answer some questions. What made you watch it? What's your strongest memory of the program? Were you ever on Romper Room?

My response:

I was never on ?Romper Room", but here is my clearest memory from watching it as a kid:
I would sit on the floor of our house (which was really a chicken coop behind my grandparents farmhouse. Yes, we were that poor), my fingers dug deeply into the golden shag carpeting, my tiny fists balled with anticipation, as Miss Nancy would hold up her magic mirror and ask it to tell her, ?did our friends have fun at play?? I would sit up straight, stare into the glorious black-and-white 13-inch Zenith TV and wait patiently as she saw Steven and Jody and Tina and Todd and Michael and every-fucking-body except WIL! Hey! Miss Nancy! I'm sitting right here! I've had LOTS of fun at play! I did the DooBee dance! I ran around pretending I was a fireman! I HAD FUN AT PLAY! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE ME?! AM I INVISIBLE?! *pant* *pant*

I never watched TV shows like the ones I did when I was four. Jesus, does anyone?

Writing that made me laugh out loud. I hadn't planned on it turning into a rant, but I was doing lots of improv at the time, and I just wrote what came out of my head. I thought it was really funny, so I called my mom as soon as I was done to read it to her. When she picked up the phone, I could hear wind chimes and a waterfall. She was gardening in her backyard.

"Hey, it's your son," I told her.

"Hi Willow! How are you? Are you feeling better?" My mom always sounds happy to hear from me, and her voice is comforting -- like a warm blanket, fresh from the dryer.

I was able to answer truthfully. "Yes, much. I wrote something funny for my website and I wanted to read it to you."

"Oh, honey! That's great! Let me turn off the hose." I heard her set the phone down, and I closed my eyes, picturing their backyard: the beautiful redwood deck my dad and brother built, covered with potted flowers and tomato plants, the railing draped with white twinkle lights. I heard the jingle of their dog Kona's collar, as she chased a butterfly, or the water falling from the hose. I saw water cascading into their swimming pool, and recalled the long summer afternoons spent floating in that pool, and the warm summer nights I spent as a teenager sitting in their spa, looking up at the stars. I breathed in, and I could smell the star jasmine which still grows under my old bedroom window.

"Wil? Did you hang up?"

"No, sorry. I was . . . lost in thought. Can I read you what I wrote?"


I told her about the e-mail I'd gotten, and read her my response. I paused dramatically, and lowered my voice for the final sentence. I eagerly awaited her response.

"Oh, Wil,? she said, ?why do you need to have such a potty mouth?"

I resisted the urge to tell her that I had no fucking idea.

"It's comedy mom, and it's not always pretty."

"Well, it's very funny. I just wish you didn't have to cuss so much."

I beamed, knowing that I'd made my mom laugh, and -- more importantly -- made her feel proud of me.

"I gotta go answer emails, mom. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie. Bye-bye."


Just tell us that you are going to come to Seattle when you are out promoting the book ;)

Your mom calls you Willow?

yeah, your mom calls you Willow??

HA HA! That's what my mom tells me when she reads MY website...the last thing I let her read from my "funny" page went something like this:

"My mom doesn't like the F word. So I won't put it on here. Barring the use of the F word, I have nothing funny to say. Everything funny in my mind involves the F word. I am lost.

Dammit, Mom!

Oops. Maybe she doesn't like that word either.

Dangit, Mom!



Cool... Its ok dude, you do what you have to do in life. I cant wait for the book =)

Nice article Wil.
Put me down for a book.
Will there be signed copies available?
Will you be doing a signing in Dublin Ireland??
In Forbidden Planet? (where I met the wonderful Gates McFadden!!)
Keep it up,


Philadelphia awaits your triumphant debut as a full-fledged writer.

Hell, we gots a Borders AND Barnes & Noble.

You may consider yourself and Ann, guests in our humble establishment. www.thebikestop.com (We'll keep away the riff-raff just for you).

Dude, your folks' dog is named Kona? I had a friend that named his dog that and I knew why. They got him in Hawaii, right? In a sandwich sized Glad Bag.

Ahh, call me when you get here. You have the number.


Willow. I like it. And I find that when I visit my mother's house, I have to "switch gears" with my language a bit. Mom is not above a "damn" here and there, but I don't believe I have ever said "fucking" in her presence. =0

That's kinda weird. Why do we protect our parents from our real selves so much? 'Cause we love them and don't want to offend their views on things I guess.

Love the excerpt Wil, thanks for giving us a sneak look. Can't wait for the book. Don't worry, Jbay and we mods will watch the fort for you while you labor.


Willow. Hee hee. Willow. That's cool.

I thought my grandparents were the only ones to have a chicken coop converted into a house. Is this common?

Can't wait to read the book, Wil. It already sounds good.




"Hey, it's your son"

I should try that some time when I call my parents... "Hi, it's your daughter." I can't, for the life of me, understand why that particular phrase stood out for me while reading this excerpt. "Willow" was cool too. =)

I'm *really* looking forward to this book.... Thanks for sharing, Wil.


Romper Room never quite worked for me. The layout of the room itself always seemed more like some "human-gerbil-cage" design people in a lab might come up with to keep, feed, and train pet humans. Eerie.


Madmartigan! Madmartigan!
Val Kilmer. My favorite "Door..."

I've got a website (along with everyone else in the world), but unlike WilWheaton.net, I'm pretty sure that my parents are the ONLY people that look at it. (Scratch that: If one of my cats happens to be in my lap as I'm updating, they seem to sort of look at the screen from time to time. . .) Therefore, I'm quite wary of anything that could upset my parents that I might have to answer to in a future phone conversation.


I have a different problem regarding moms & cursing. My mom can't get out one sentence without cursing at least 3 times. Its particularly annoying when she's talking about food -the imagery is not good. It was embarassing when she'd meet my teachers. My youngest sister seems to have the same inclination to curse abundantly. Moderation means nothing to them.
Anyway, I'm excited about the book! Though your writing for WWDN has been limited, it has kept me interested.

your Romper Room rant sounds oddly familiar....a character, named Beau (played by Daniel Baldwin), gave a similar rant about his never being seen on my favorite show, "Homicide: Life on the Street." if it's any consolation, I don't think she ever saw me, Lauren, either. ok, now I'm feeling very unloved...

I loved the way you described your slip into memories of your parents house, Wil. Just reading it made me imagine a soft, sunny day with birds singing and a gentle breeze. Sheets drying on a clothesline. You have a lovely way with words; very descriptive and emotive.

I think that I am going to enjoy reading your book a great deal!


Oh, yeah. Willow. Thats real good. I like that.

I'm a new reader of WWDN...and I'm enjoying myself tremendously...and this is filler? Wow.
Thanks for the excerpt...Willow. (giggle giggle)

Bah, don't worry about the website Wil! You're writing a book!

You're coming to Seattle for a signing party when it comes out, right? ;)

*more book mojo*

color me obsessed, but I had to go and find the quote, in case you think I'm completely insane, which I am, btw....

"Romper, stomper, bomper, blue. I see Jimmy and Julie. Except she never saw me. I spent years in front of that friggin' tube and she never once saw Beau in the magic mirror. That BITCH!"
- Beau Felton, from "A Model Citizen"

Thanks, that little excerpt just transported me from this soul-less, drab, mind numbing office to when I was a kid, and I was there, living one of the summer afternoons you describe. Similar to the feeling I get when watching Stand By Me. I'm no literary critic, but you really have a talent for painting a picture with words.

Just curious, didn't your mom realize the swearing part was a reference to the end of the aforementioned film? Jesus, Mrs. Wheaton. :->)

That reminds me, I need a new job, like, today.

Damn these TPS reports.

Oh yeah...

Thanks for the excerpt! :)

...image of Alyson Hannigan in mind's eye.... debating whether to override....

So, when did we get "WWDN:The Movie"?

Book looks great. Nothing bad about backseat. Priories are slightly askewed. With me, mawwiage did the trick.

Oddly, sounds like a bit of Joe Straczynski, as his work schedule piled up and on.

We'll still be here.

OHMYGOD! I thought that I was the only little tool that watched that show! You painted that picture well. Hey, when you get a chance, check out this illustration that I did of you that is on my web site. http://www.parisistudios.com/wess.html
Let me know what you think!

Major flashback - I was on Romper Room when I was a kid . . .

Thanks for reminding me!

Oh, I empathize with your Romper Room experience! I wanted Miss Mary Ann to say my name so badly. (My name is Robbie, and I'm female. Blame my dad.) Anyway, one day my mom and I were watching -- I must have been 4 or 5 -- and Miss Mary Ann looked through her Magic Mirror and said, "...I see Robbie!" My mom was beside herself with glee, and said, "See? She said your name!!"

I was wearing a sad/disgusted face, apparently, and my mom couldn't understand why, until I said, "She was talking to a BOY Robbie!" and stormed off.

My poor poor mother. ::snicker::

Wil, wil you explain the Willow reference? Pet or legal name (I have no intention of making fun of you; just curious.) Have you written about how your parents arrived at your name (spelling, story, et al) in the past?

Waiting in anticipation...Funny!

Willow, Huh? , Well I guess I still can't wait to buy your book.

Willoughby wallaby Woo,
an elephant sat on you.

Willoughby wallaby wee,
an elephant sat on me.

Your nickname reminded me of this...

I can hear those quotes from your mom coming from my mother's mouth.

I can't speak for everyone that reads the site, but personally I know how much time this book is taking for you. It has to be perfect. I understand all too well. And then there are all these auditions that you seem to be going on. Is it my imagination or are you going on more lately? CSI, John Doe, I Robot, etc...damn dude.

Oh...I never mentioned it, but I saw the Pax movie you did. I thought it was a really inventive and deep script (though semi-hokey at times). A most excellent job my friend.

Dude, you said the F-word to your mom? WTF??

If the book is more of that then count me into the buying of it :D
wait. . . I was gonna buy it anyway.

And I always respond to my mom's hello with "It's your daughter" Or if I'm lazy "hey"

march huh?
*looks at calendar* hey that's coming up pretty quick! *looks again* Yup next page even!

I love that your mom calls you "Willow."

Moms are moms, though; your mom wishes you wouldn't swear when you write, mine wishes I didn't put sex in the things I write. She understands that yes, people have sex, but "can't we pretend they don't?"


You mom sounds so sweet :)

I have to wait another 2 months to read The Book? I think I'll just about survive.

To judge from this taster, I'll be devouring the whole thing as soon as it comes through the door.

I know the feeling of using profanity around the parents. It's always been taboo in my family, but now that the youngest child is getting ready for university, we pretty well say what we want, with the exception of the F word, but we've been able to get away with it once in a while.
Still, parents never like to hear their kids using those words from what i'm told.

Oh, and 'Willow'?

you MUST come to Seattle like Joystick said, there will be plenty of people who'd like to see you "Willow". ;) At least your Mom could call you "Big Willy" Or something a little more manly.

What? No post from Wil yet? C'mon Wil we're dying to know. Is Willow your given name?
Can't wait to read the book man.
Peace to all WWDN'ers from Buffalo

Willow? hehe. I think's its funny you actually read the F-word to your mom. Your posting of your experience of watching Romper Room made me choke on my soda. Thanks for the hearty giggle.... and allowing me to revert back to happier childhood memories.

I think it's like...some strange karma that no one ever hears their name on Romper Room. I'm sure she's SAID wil...just not when you were watching. Like everyone i've ever talked to never heard their name...it's so frustrating!
Also, the Stand By Me reference made me laugh out loud in computer class (which was kinda bad because i was supposed to be researching tech stuff) and my teacher came over to see what was so funny....unfortunatly, mrs. L is not a stand by me fan...so Wil, you got me a detention. Oh well...it was worth it.

Oh, and they ARE making a WWDN Movie!

But at the last minute, all of Wil's scenes will be cut.

Subtle humor is indeed the best.

amendment (second comment): reading these comments, it makes me wonder how many people got the last line as a reference/joke. I snickered and rolled my eyes.

What curse words?
Oh.... missed it the first time, wow I must have a potty mouth too.

I'm new here, only recently discovering WWDN. And I was amazed to find how damn funny you are. I appreciate your desire to keep the legions of WWDN fans entertained, but feel your angst is misplaced. You have choosen to share part of your life with those of us in cyber space. That is kind of way cool. But I think there is never a need to apologize if your A material is going into projects that help support your family. You understand not every performance will be your best, that goes for here too. Don't put too much pressure on this performance - just enjoy it. We will too.

I was on Romper Room! One full euphoric week of Romper Room. I danced with Miss Nancy, talked about fruits and vegetables, and dressed up like a clown.

Actually they would make us change clothes and do about 2 to 3 shows a day...I still have some tapes of me on it....

In the tape we were playing a guess the fruit game where the kids would have to put on a mask/blindfold and then Miss Nancy would feed us the fruit. Well I was all happy and excited, but guess what? She gave me a mushroom instead. As I bit into it my face scrunched up in replustion. I wasn't a happy camper. It's hilarious to see myself doing that whenever I watch the video. Just thought I would share with you!


Romper Room? Never heard of that show, though I'm kinda guessing it was the US version of the BBC's subliminal kids show Play School. (addressed to the British fans...Was it just me or was Hamble the FREAKIEST doll in the world EVER (?) I'm still mentally traumatised by her.)

:oS (trembles in the corner at the thought!)

Heh... Willow..

Wil, if you're doing a signing tour you have to make your way up to Montreal. Don't just go to Toronto... there's more to Canada than TO. Chapters, downtown or West Island. Be there.

I couldn't MAKE myself watch Romper Room when I was of the age.

After like 3 minutes, I'd be totally creeped out and I'd have to switch channels. Think I used to melt my brain with Bob Barker on The Price Is Right or something. Or Joker's Wild. Joker, Joker, JOKER!!!

Captian Kangaroo was cool, though. Mr. Moose. Bunny Rabbit. Ping Pong balls from the sky. And Mr. Green Jeans, the wacky putterer.


Sighhhh...The Romper Room part was funny and I remember waiting for Miss Nancy to say my name too. I believed it happened once or twice. My name is Christine, a popular name back then. I remember the DooBee dance and DON'T be a Don'tBee.

My favorite part of your excerpt, however, is the description of your parents' backyard. I could picture it in my head. Your description can almost be called romantic. Very, very nice.


This brought a single solitary tear to my eye.

I then wet myself in anticipation.

It has been a very fluid based evening on the whole.

And Willow?

My feminine side is glowing.

My masculine side is laughing.

(Nb. I am not transgender.)

Hi Wil,

Thanks for sharing a portion of your book. I love the picture you paint of your parents backyard.

I'll have to remember to dream up happy memories of my mom in our backyard, especially when my parents are driving me bonkers.

Looking forward to "Just A Geek." Great title, by the way. :)


You're like a little boy who did something really good and had to show it to mom. LOL

I never heard my name on "Romper Room", either. I guess it wasn't as common back in the early '70s.

There had better be a book signing in Pasadena. Preferably at Vromans or the Barnes and Noble or Borders on Lake Avenue so I can just walk.

That's exactly what my Mom said after reading my Blog... :D

"Just A Geek" huh?

That book will look so appropriate in my room.

Is this the first time that you've told us what the title is? It's the first I've heard anyway. I look forward to to reading it.


Well, being British, I have no idea what romper room is. But, I'd like to say, no matter how distracted you get, I'll still hang around.

Looking forward to the book, hopefully I'll be able to get it without resorting to the strange and incomprehensible devices of the net.

Wow... Play School. Didn't watch it when I was little (not being in the UK), but the guy who did the music, Johnathan Cohen, is a friend of my aunt's from music school. Very nice guy, but it's really trippy to connect the bloke you've just had several drinks with at a dinner party with the slightly wacked out show you watched a week before because you were too lazy to change the channel. :)

And, Wil, don't forget us poor benighted souls on this side of the Atlantic when you schedule book signings. I'll even go to London to buy you a drink, if you don't make it to Oxford!

Hey, Wil. For whatever it's worth, I, for one, am eagerly awaiting your book. I have loved reading all of the prose you have shared with us here and have no problem seeing a diminished WWDN while you focus on your book. Good luck, buddy.

Don't worry, Wil. We can be patient while you do what you need to do to finish up the book.

Loved the story. I don't tend to share my writing with my mom (too much sex, too much language, not enough "Christian values"). I have my camoflauge hobby of beading for that :-)

...we join net addict Amit C. fantasizing about that sweet little redhead Alyson Hannigan performing "magic tricks" with her "wand".

Uh Oh, all of a sudden the image of Alyson is replaced with that of Big Bad Uncle Willie.

Amit C. carefully selects a pencil from the cup on his desk and CRAMS IT IN HIS MIND'S EYE.

Wil great excerpt from your book. Cant wait for the book to come out. Will you be touring with the book, and please say you will be coming to Seattle, it would be great to see you up hear.

Wow, that was great stuff. I'll be sure to pick up a copy of your book. You're calling it "Just a Geek?" That has to be one of the neatest titles I've ever heard! ^-^;; I'm really looking forward to this.

I'm excited for the book! I need something new to read (so I spend less time adding pointless stuff to my page...if anyone sees it, you'll understand lol)

are you going to do a promotion thing for the book? if so, keep kansas city in mind :-)

hey, that is soo cool, i can't wait to read the whole book. i love the bit at the end, the reference to stand by me. i just read the book, "the body" the other day, and it was great. the movie was so close to the book, and coz i'd seen the movie first, i could imagine all you guys as the characters. i loved it!

so congrats wil, its Great!

love Rach

This is so not-really-relevant, but I had to mention that that my parents had a dog named Kona, too. She was an English Springer Spaniel.

Can't wait for the book, you potty mouth, you. ;)

"Bend and stretch. Reach for the stars... Here comes Jupiter, there goes Mars." - Thanks to Romper Room, this tune has been stuck in my head for most of my 28 years.

Wil don't sweat putting the site on the back burner it is quite understandable and hell if you put us first and your book or real life second then I would think you had issues! Anyway what other actor would be as personally involved in thier site as you are? You rawk!

Anyway, I can't wait until your book comes out! I am anxiously awaiting it!

Funny Story! and very Jean Shepherd-ish. Kinda reminds me of Ralphie listening to Little Orphan Annie and getting totally "hosed" by the secret Ovaltine commercial on the decoder pin.

Isn't it funny how chats with mom's always end in "I Love You" - like they don't know that already or need a reminder. For your sake, I hope she doesn't have an old bar of Lifebouy in the cabinet when you go visit.

Um, wouldn't that be "parents'" rather than "parent's"? I would be happy to proofread the book for you if you wish. I think this one
wil have more readers than the last book I proofread.
Catches own typo; I've been writing wil instead of will lately, can't think why.

I am confused. Some moms would have reached through the phone, grabbed your throat, pulled you into the garden and buried you there. Its cool that your mom likes to laugh.
Wow,I read some of your book. Go figure. I never promised but I read some of it.


Hey that was cute! Your mum sounds really great!
You know Wil, i didn't really think you'd be able to write very well. You know how actors and musicians write books and they aren't that good. I was bored one day and started reading a Bill Cosby one. And although the stories were amusing it wasn't well written.
But from that excerpt and the way you wrote with passon about your home, i think it'll be a great book!

try having the name VALENTINE and waiting for them to say it *sigh* oh well cant complain they never said anyone elses in my families name either

hey! no wonder you remind me of stephen king. lol you take actual phrases from him. but that's cool. immitation is the highest form of flattery. sorry if i pissed you off lol, but you're both excellent writers.

wil. seriously.
you update almost everyday.
please don't feel bad if other things are a bit more pressing. your fans are happy to hear from you when we do.

thanks for updating so often.

peace out.


Does anybody remember "the Letter People"?

Thanks for the nastalgia, Wil ;)

Its ok Wil, update us when you can!

Re Romper Room, I never heard a "Julie" when I
watched it, but I always got more out of Sheriff John and Engineer Bill, anyway!

"Geek" sounds great-just as long as you do have a signing in Pasadena (Arcadia doesn't have anything
as good as a Vromans or B & N!)

Have a good night!

Willow? Well hey, that's not half as bad as what some mothers call their sons.
Ooh by the way! Saw you on Diagnosis Murder yesterday...for like a nano second! I'd got all my evening snacks laid out before me, settled down on my (very fine new) sofa and was eagerly anticipating to watching me some Wheaton magic. Jesus, where the hell did you go?
It was ok though, it had put me in the mood for TV and I watched Diag. Mrder. anyway.

Hello "Willow"

Only moms could say something like that. Well, not true, my dad calls me "Spud". Anyway, that little excerpt left me hungry for more. Please tell me you'll make copies available online!!!! I'm stationed overseas and might not get to see one for a while.

I look forward to seeing you on all of the morning talk shows talking about your book. Give Katie Couric a big hug for me. Someone has already brought up the idea of a tour. Well, we're all hoping.

I'm anxiously looking forward to the finished product.

Thanks for the sneak preview of the upcoming book.
Me want!
Me want!
You are making arrangements for us loyal overseas monkeys to be able to get our hands (Or is it paws?)on a copy right? Right? *starts to hyperventilate* I need that book man! Come on! Just a small hit!!!! I can handle it.....


Oh...and just to add my voice to the crowd....Willow? Thats so cute! *grin*

I don't know what you're talking about. South Park still rules, always has, always will.

Hey Wil it says on the IMDB that your birth name is Richard William Wheaton (the third) - has your family always called you Wil, or were you a Dick?!


Also a relatively new visitor to WWDN...but I can't get enough ;)

I look forward to your book as well! I hope you DO go on a signing tour and visit New York (Try to get a gig on Long Island, but I'd gladly take the train into the city to see you)!

Hm, you think she never saw Wil through her mirror? You should try being called Joshua in Australia in the early 80s. She never, never saw Joshua through that damn mirror!

Speaking of Australia,

Wil, maybe you could be the newest Wiggle?
You're kinda Wigglish.

You think Romper Room in stuck in your collective heads? Wait till you have 2 year olds and watch the friggin Wiggles everyday.

If I have to sing Morningtown Ride at bedtime, ONE MORE TIME........

(some of you will understand this, some not)

Being a total series-freak, "Willow" brings a petite lesbian red head to mind....;)

You should be happy your mom is like that. My mom is the opposite and it's kinda disturbing. I mean, she's into Eminem and Metallica!! I'm just glad she doesn't greet my boyfriend with "Hey man, how's it hanging?". It wouldn't surprise me much though.

Also a little while ago I went to my sister's place to celebrate her 19th birthday and my dad opened, saying "Ha! It's my oldest one! Hello, daughter!". I blame it on the alcohol.

Keep up the great work and release the book in march. I'm dying to read it!!!

Wil, I can soooo sympathise. Miss Nancy never said mine, or my sister's names, either. Gretchen and Heidi. That bitch!! Hehehe. And I won't even ask about the "Willow". Hell, I'm 25 and my dad still calls me HoBear. It's just what parents do, right? Anyway, eagerly anticipating the book!!

LOL. I really enjoyed that excerpt from your book. The last line made me think of Richard Dreyfuss typing on the computer at the end of Stand By Me.

I can't wait until it comes out. :)

Dude, you should give South Park another try. Sure, it was weak right around the time the movie released, but the last couple of seasons, almost every episode has been brilliant satire. It's been incredibly good.

if that is an indication of what we can look forward to in your book, i'd say that we will all be very happy monkeys indeed :)

as long as everyone else is sharing i'll add that my dad gave me the nickname
'typhoonius claudius maxiums'

i kid you not...

my old man the comedian..haha..

personally, i always thought it was cute and clever...

was beginning to think we'd lost u! glad u thinking of us babe. Also, i watched stand by me lastnight. was taken back about ten years watching that, and also reminded of just how damn cute u were back then. As a child, u were cute as a button, as a man u are gorgeous as well. lucky you :) Why people keep refusing to give you a chance is beyond me, ur a great actor, and really deserve a chance. When i make my film about going back in time and leaving secrets, i'll cast you as my leading man k!

Will you are so sweet
Does anybody else call you willow?
Did'nt you get beat up in school for that?
Go to the websites of all the cast of TNG
They all suck
Your site rocks
I like I Like I LIKE!!!!
Patrick Stewart, it seems, is too good to do conventions, autographs or even fan mail.
Marina Sirtis is a pam anderson wsnnabe
Jonathan Frakes, who I had a HUGE childhood crush on, won't even look at his site for the next year because he's "out of the country"
Never heard of laptops it seems.......

I didn't get the "Yes, we were that poor" reference with respect to the farmhouse and the chicken coop. Does it follow that all people who raise chickens or live on farms are poor?

Good job Wil! I can't wait to read the book. Plus, however much it takes you away from WWDN you are still writing, and we just have to be patient and wait for your obviously wonderful book. Then we will get that great feeling of sitting down and reading it for hours.


Wil, I look forward to reading your book. Hopefully you'll stop by the Central Coast on your book tour! Cheers!

To GP...

The chicken coop thing means that the house he was living in was a chicken coop not that they were raising chickens.

Oh, I get it now. The house itself was converted from an old chicken coop. Got it. Sorry - I have 'rural-upbringing-inferiority-complex.

I can't WAIT to read the book!!!! You are such a good writer, even if you have a potty mouth.


Stick to the website. Much more real and edgy.

I enjoyed that piece when your first wrote it. I'm glad to see it's going into the book. You are including the follow up about reading it to your mom, right? The part about remembering your parent's house was great.

I remember also watching Hobo Kelly as a child. She had this magic brush with a butterfly that she would paint the inside of the TV screen.

Late March release? Does that mean you're trying to have the book ready for the Creation convention in Pasadena? That would be awesome! Seeing you on stage and getting your book at the same event would be wonderful. But, if it's not ready, don't fret. Better to have it done right than to meet some arbitrary release date.

Nice read, Wil. If this is truly a "cut and paste" from the book (which I'd be hard-pressed to believe it is, as any spell/grammar checker would catch these), I noticed two typos (beyond the grammar error about possessives pointed out above):
First paragraph: tormetned. You gots your letter trasnposed. ;)
When your mom is turning off the hose, there are two "with"s in a row in that paragraph ("railing draped with with white twinkle lights.").
Anyway, as I said, nice read!

Are you trying to drive us abso-smurfley MAD?? I don't know if I can make it until the book comes out now. Thanks for that.

I lived in a chicken coop when I was little... we even found feathers in it when we first moved in. We always called it 'The chicken coop' later when referring to that house we lived in. Cement floors covered by cheap linoleum. You brought back some childhood memories with that one. I wouldn't think it's too common to live in old chicken coops. I love you even more.

I think your Mom's nickname is cool... my family always called me Crickle-doll or just Crickle. Yuck. Go figure.

And Wil, I will always be your Monkey, whether you post every day or every month or just write books. You RAWK!

Heh. My mom does the same thing. I write a long, involved diatribe on my blog, three pages filled with descriptions and situations and feelings and laughter and tears or whatever crap I was spewing that day, and my mom would inevitably sieze on the most ridiculous things.

One day I was writing about getting over an ex, and watching ex-es move on and why we have every right to feel the way we do as long as we don't let the ex know we feel that way, and that I was able to say this through long and frequent experiences with dumping perfectly nice boys *much to my mother's chagrin*, and the next thing you know I have this 50 page email in my inbox with my mother explaining *she just wants me to be happy*. I mean, miss the point much?

great expect from the book can't wait for it. If you make it to branson, mo for an book promo i'll hook up with free tickets to Silver Dollar City. anyway great job and keep up it up. we all understand and can't wait for the book

Love the excerpt and cannot wait to read the rest! I hope you make it down to my neck of the woods for a book signing. Hell, I'd even travel up to Atlanta or down to Savannah for it! Just keep working hard and we'll all still be here.

You know, Miss Nancy never, ever said my name either, and that *always* pissed me off. I had to laugh when I read that someone else felt exactly the same way. Heh.

Somebody... Somebody help! There’s a peck here, with an acorn an a potty mouth!

Richard William Wheaton III

Richard, Richie, Rich (Dick?).

Willow. Well, my mom is the only one who can get away from calling my old neighbor friend Timmy.

Most excellent, Wil. Can't wait for the book.
Heh, I occasionally sprinkle a little profanity in my blog entries, too. My mother reads it and always tells me "Do you have to use so much fucking profanity? You can express yourself without it and still get your point across."
And she wonders where I got the habit from...

:)Your mom calls you Willow?:))That's sweet!!! And the story is lovely!!:)) I love your writes very much!!!!!:)))

What are you talkin about Wil? South Park is as good now as it's ever been. It may not be as shocking anymore just because people have probably been shocked to the point of complete desensitization. Now the Simpsons on the other hand.. now that show just sucks now. It peeked back in season 8 with the episode about Hank Scorpio and has been downhill ever since.

Excellent excerpt! I only have vague memories of Romper Room. My favourite shows were Mr. Dressup and Fraggle Rock (yup, good ol' canadian television.)
I am in eager anticipation of your book! Will you come do a signing at Indigo in Toronto? Rudy Giuliani did one in November and the whole place was crazy... hmm... that makes me wonder if I'd be able to get in to see you!
Ah, well. How long until the book is out?

No offense but the excerpt was kinda lame. Let me guess what your book will be about. How as a young child you were considered a gifted child and then you became obsessed with yourself during your years on TNG. Now you are a struggling actor who is trying to find remedial roles here and there but nothing compares to the love of your family. Wil, you're 30 years old and the chances of you being a famous movie star are pretty slim. Do something productive with your life nad be a good role model to your step kids.

Everyone pay attention to me!

I used to watch the show quite a bit too, and I will tell you, from simillar experience, she NEVER said Todd. But I'm glad you put my name in your email... it's almost as good as being seen in the mirror!

Lay off, Henry.

South Park's been getting consistently better and better these past three years, Wil. If anything, try to catch the now-infamous 'Scott Tenorman Must Die' episode. Now if only Trey an' Matt'd have Wil on th' show, perhaps in a parody of th' Berman produced Trek series...or on fandom in general ["Star Trek Conventions Gone Wild?" "Star Trek & Hedonism Combo Cruises?!"]

I think I know why your book is going to be so great: we're really going to identify with everything you have to say. Reading your book will be just like coming home, a family dinner with that crazy Uncle Willy, telling wacky stories, as always.

Hey IG. They could do another telethon with Wil co-hosting the event with Big Gay Al!

"He's sooper, thanks for asking!" lmfao

I'd just like to clarify something for the very small number of people who don't seem to understand this:

If you are an ass, your comment will be deleted. Your IP will be posted, so you can't hide behind the anonymity of the Internet. If you're not willing to stand behind your comment, then don't post it.

Commenting here is NOT A RIGHT. This is not a public forum. I maintain this site, and I pay for this site. It's clearly outlined in the TOS at the bottom of the main page.

If you need to be an ass, you are more than welcome to do so at your own site, or some other website that tolerates immaturity. You are not welcome to do it here.

I hope I didn't use too many big words, so this won't be a problem any longer.

Wil, I can't believe you went thru the same thing on Romper Room as I did! I'm WAY older than you and I had no idea they still were doing that back then...I have the same memory..sitting on the floor, anxiously awaiting the lady (whatever her name was in the 60's) and she started saying everyone's name but mine! I was in agony! Why couldn't she ever say my name???

Oh well, thanks for the sweet memory..that's what I love about your writing and you..it's so vivid and fresh.


I totally empathize with you... she never said *my* name, either, and I think it traumatized me as a child. I was equally traumatized by the change-over from Miss Sally to Miss Molly. (Were those their names? I was awfully young...)

Looking back, it was kind of like the Bewitched Darrin-switch. (Of course, I only got to see *that* in re-runs.) Were we kids not supposed to notice or care? *sigh*

OK, back to grown-up life.

I wish I had a mom like that.

Hell, I wish I still had a mom.

You don't need to apologize. This is exactly what you should be doing.

I just need to know if we can pre-order this book like some OTHER book that may be out in JUNE of this year.:D
And PLEASE do signings, that would be very generous of you...you can be away from this site for a little while cantcha? :)

That was so cute! Looking forward to the book.

Good response, Wil. Cut, paste and save for future posting. I just called the guy who drives the clue bus to see if he will make a few more stops here. Hopefully, a few will get on.

Good comment, Wil. Might I offer a suggestion though? Perhaps you'd consider "cut-and-paste"ing (yikes...killing the language there) that warning as an entry rather than just as a comment. The relevant people probably wouldn't bother reading the comments since they tend only to be interested in their own opinions and would, therefore, miss it.

Just my $.02...


My mom is generally okay if I curse, since she can't be hypocritical about it, but it's especially okay if I curse in reference to my deadbeat father (though she won't curse about him, since she tries to be impartial).

So something like, "This food fucking sucks," is sort of frowned upon but not outlawed, and "Why can't he fucking just pay his goddamned back child support?" is supported. I think it works out well.

Can't wait for the book to come out, Wil. =)

Gotta Run!

Just got this great exclusive at WWDT that Wil is invisible. The National Tabloids will pay me millions for the story.

Oh and that as an invisible guy, was on every episode on TNG.

Now I gotta think about how I am going to spend all the money I will get!


Thanks for posting this excerpt. Looking forward to the book. I picked up on the "Stand By Me" reference (which was, I assume, intentional): "I never watched TV shows like the ones I did when I was four. Jesus, does anyone?" Nice touch.

Loved the Stand By Me reference, Wil :)
I also love your style of writing... the imagery is fantastic.
Your mother sounds so sweet! Willow.. Cute ;)



Cool I can not wait to read the book. I have followed your movie makking and still think you rock. thanks.

I think you're one of the greatest people I'll never know, Wil. And when your book comes out, I look forward to reading it.

ROMPER ROOM!...thanks for bringing back a nice memory..."miss lois" was the host in my neck of the woods...and yeah...i waited every day to hear my name.

I'm not entirely sure what to expect from your book, but I look forward to reading it!

cussing? what cussing? It was funny though and it reminded me of when I was four years old and how I really do miss the shows that was on back then because a lot of shows out now are nothing but crap.
I can't wait for you book, I hope you go on a book tour.

I must have watched Romper Room a lot, because I remember thinking something like, "After all this time, I know that TODAY she will say my name." But evidently Mary Anne is just too obscure a name to make it onto the list. . . Is my frustration still evident? Guess I never recovered from the time I cried because I'd wanted her to say my name so bad. (Sigh.)

I'm in the Naval Aviation community, and my wonderful comerades have granted me the callsign "Band Camp" because -- get this -- I have red hair. That's it. That's the whole reason, as far as I can tell. But if I was to get hold of Miz Romper I might actually do the Band Camp character justice: "Say my name, b*^@h!" Wow, that felt great! I think I feel enough emotional release to go wash the dishes!!

(Scampers off. . .)

I watched Romper Room from time to time but it kinda gave me the willies (no pun intended by the way) for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that I knew she couldn't see through the damn mirror and I resented that she tried to make me think she could. ;-)

As for the excerpt from the book, in general Wil, I like your writing. But this one particular excerpt doesn't work for me. Normally when you drift off into one of your nostalgic memories, you do it either out of the blue, say as a new post to your blog, or in the middle of a not-so-interesting passage. In both cases the diversion is welcome. But in the romper room article, you've got a lot of momentum with the conversation with your mom, then all of a sudden ADD kicks in and you've gone way off topic! As a reader I was a turned off. Rather than tell me in concise sentences how your mind wandered into the garden, take me there more sensually and then I'll understand where you're coming from and I won't be so freaked out when I end up in the garden instead of on the phone.

On the other hand, maybe it's the fact that you're trying to describe a memory that had an emotional impact on you as you experienced it, yet you fill it with explanations that feel unnatural. You can't describe to me how you're feeling when you're constantly interrupting yourself to tell me whose dog Kona was or that you only sat in the spa in the summer. I want to feel the memory you had not just know the minutae of your flashback.

Your web site is great, by the way. Thank you for doing what you do.

I really enjoyed this, as much this time as the first time. I'm really glad its going into the book.

I too, would add my voice to the chorus and ask, how do we get a copy? Will you be selling here on the site, or what? Whatever, consider me sold.

Love and Hugs


Enjoyed your excerpt. I assume you're in the throes of rewriting/cleaning up (that's always the toughest part of doing a book).

The Romper Room thing is sooo universal. There was also this show on when I was a preschooler (mrrhmrhm years ago) in Denver called Fred and Fay. I wanted to be on that show so bad... in fact, I actually thought one time I had been on it. A few yeas ago I asked my mom about that and she said I never had been on the show, but that when I was three or four, they couldn't tear me away from the TV when it was on. So, I must have had a really good imagination or something because it seemed so real that I had done it.

Anyway, hang in there. When you hold the bound copies of your book in your hand for the first time, it will all feel like it was worth it!

How about a guest columnist while you are otherwise occupied?

I desperately need to grow the fuck up.


Say it ain't so Wil! Royalties usually don't add up to much. You can, however, make an income from presentations and readings.


Let me qualify that...most first time authors don't earn much in royalities. You, however, have a pretty solid fan base :-)

I can relate to the "Wahhhhhhh!"

You go!

you there?

anything new going on?

the one drawback of becoming and avid reader of your site,i suppose is when suddenly a day or 3 goes by with nothing new..

i need my wheaton fix

cheers man..hope all is well

Pinwheel, pinwheel, spinnong around. Look at my pinwheel and see what I found. Pinwheel! I'm not quite old enough for Romper Room. My name is Amanda Michelle. One day, for no reason whatsoever, my mom called me Amanda Measle. "Measle" stuck. Forever.
Also, while my younger sister can call my mom a bitch to her face, I still get in trouble for words like fart and shut up. Does anyone else think this is egregiously unjust?
And if you're doing a book tour, you simply must come to Georgia! I don't care what city, I'll travel if necessary.

Everyone pay attention to me!

Posted by pyllis at February 7, 2003 12:46 PM

OrgName: University of Texas at Austin
Address: Lake Austin Center
Address: 3101 Lake Austin Blvd.
City: Austin
StateProv: TX
PostalCode: 78703
Country: US

NetRange: -
NetHandle: NET-146-6-0-0-1
Parent: NET-146-0-0-0-0
NetType: Direct Assignment
RegDate: 1991-01-16
Updated: 2002-03-29

TechHandle: ZU83-ARIN
TechName: University of Texas at Austin
TechPhone: +1-512-471-2444
TechEmail: [email protected]


Posted by asshole at February 9, 2003 06:19 PM

OrgName: University of Texas at Austin
Address: Lake Austin Center
Address: 3101 Lake Austin Blvd.
City: Austin
StateProv: TX
PostalCode: 78703
Country: US

NetRange: -
NetHandle: NET-128-83-0-0-1
Parent: NET-128-0-0-0-0
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Updated: 2002-03-27

TechHandle: ZU83-ARIN
TechName: University of Texas at Austin
TechPhone: +1-512-471-2444
TechEmail: [email protected]

I desperately need to grow the fuck up.


Posted by loser at February 11, 2003 01:48 PM

Univ. of Texas System Office of Telecom. Services NETBLK-THENET-CIDR-C2 (NET-198-214-0-0-1) -
Austin Community College AUS-COM-COL2 (NET-198-214-176-0-1) -

Wowwwww there's money well spent on the nations future.

Apparently momma cut him off and the farm animals said no.

No offense to nice moms and farm animals.

I know someone else out there must've looked this sullbhit up too. Phone calls anyone?

I'd like to end this saga by saying that no animals were hurt in this visit to the great frontier.

But I can't say for sure.


I loved this essay. I also got the Stand By Me reference right away. Your writing skills have matured greatly over the time I have been reading your web site. Keep it up.

PS - Your mom thinks saying "Jesus" is swearing? What the f*ck is she thinking? ;)

Here in St. Louis, we had a Miss Lois rather than a Miss Nancy, but I, too, have 43-year-old memories of watching ROMPER ROOM. I don't recall that she ever saw David in her Magic Mirror, but my wife, Nila, remembers crying because Miss Lois never called *her* name.

In a related matter, I once heard the great Professor Irwin Corey say on THE STEVE ALLEN SHOW that he held the degrees of B.A., M.S., Ph.D., and D.D.S.: Bachelor of Arts, Master of Science, Doctor of Philosophy, and Ding Dong School.

you'd better come to oregon on a book tour, too. eugene misses you.
i am only allowed to swear around my mother if we are talking about politics and "stupid fucking george bush." =)

oh, please