WIL WHEATON dot NET: 1.5

Great story, Wil. Thanks for sharing.

I know what you mean about the idea of missing a 'regular' high school education. I went to a school 'For the Creative and Performing Arts.' Instead of a football team, we had touring choirs. Insteaf of a massive gym facility and fields, we had 3 theaters.

While yes, this is closer to a regular school than an on-set tutor, I still wonder occasionally how different my life would have been if I went to a 'Traditional' high school.

Every time I stop to think, it makes me prouder of my choice. Its what made me who I am today. Its what helped lead me to my choice in colleges and by proxy my current significant other and a good bulk of my current life.

So many roads we could have taken in life, but its interesting to think of what might have happened if we chose differently. If you had gone to a regular high school, you might have missed the opportunity to meet Anne (however that happened) and be a part of her and her two wonderful Kid's lives.

Heres hoping to many more great life choices that we might never want to take back.

~Katrina

Great story. Thanks for sharing. Ryan is lucky to have you in his life & you are lucky to have him in yours and even more lucky for both of you - you seem to already know that.

Kudos to you for telling him the truth about your experiences in high school, in real terms. It's not easy communicating what we really want to to our kids, and usually the best way is to just be as honest as possible.

I am SO happy to see comments back!

I have to agree about being honest with your kids. I try to do that with my son about everything from sex to drugs to simply apologizing to him when I make a mistake.

If you love your kids and are honest with your kids (I think) it keeps the communication lines open for those tougher talks that need to happen.

I was never on Star Trek and I went to a "regular school". But I do have two stepsons. We have our differences, but we relate where it counts. Whenever we part, it is always "Love you,see you later"...

and when I drop them off at school, I watch them until they get to the building. Then they turn and wave, and my day just got a whole lot better.

Great story, Wil. You're the best dad ever. Really, you are. Ryan and Nolan are totally lucky to have you. Go you. :)

It's so great to hear about step-families loving each other.

I had a rough time (still do at times) with my step family as a child, and now I am in the parental role in a step-family.

My fiance loves my son dearly and it's great to know that so many others do the same for their kids, especially father figures.

The world needs more good dads, step or otherwise. You all have my admiration!

--Jessie--

I know this post wasn't about step-families, so I will avoid that.

This was adorble though.

I have just started Uni and I can see all of the wee awkward faces in the crowd.

all about me

Being loud and obnoxious, I am not one of them.

*squints*

Wtf is that all about me line doing in there?

Anyway...

Good story, Wil. And what you told Ryan was absolutely right. Enjoy the four years he has at high school and make the most of them.

Like you, I was the outsider in high school (minus Stand By Me and Star Trek, or any sort of fame for that matter), and for the most part, hated my time there. It was the kind of place where, if you didn't play sports or dress trendy, you weren't anybody. I was an easy target because I kept to myself and didn't talk much. Looking back on it all, in a weird way, I kinda miss it.

The one thing I learned from it all, though, was to appreciate and cherish my individuality. Being who you are, despite what everyone else thinks of you, is the most important thing no matter how old you are.

Pass that along to Ryan for me if you could. These are the most important years as far as figuring out who he is as a human being. Tell him that, no matter what anyone else says, being himself is the most important thing he can do. Don't let anyone else define that for him. No matter how much (if any, let's hope none at all) ridicule he might go through because of it, he'll be a better person in the long run if he sticks to his guns.

Judging by this story, Wil, you turned out to be a great dad. Kudos ^-^

Eric

Great story, Wil.

I'm far from being in the father part, but it's cool to tell your kids how real high school can be. Believe me, it's not the best place in the world. Yes, i've went to the prom and football games, it's no big deal to me but it may be different to someone else.

Anyways, cool story and good luck with Anne and your kids.

~Brandon~

A quick second thought...

Do you think Ryan asked you for the band name so he could log on to Kazaa/iMesh/LimeWire and do some RIAA-profit cutting? Just a whimsical thought...

Great article, and I'd like to mention that Sarah McLachlan did a great cover of "Dear God." I've never cared for any of her other songs, but this cover had that bubbling pent-up anger / frustration that was in the XTC version, especially during the "I won't believe in..." part. Phenomenal.

Woo! comments comments comments comments.

Wow, high school already. Dang.

Dangetty dang dang.

Gonna go be old now. See everybody in the "old" forum on the monkeybox.

Wow, I always knew that we had a lot in common, but reading this entry just enforces that belief! I was awkward and shy (but I masked my shyness with an outrageously outgoing "funny" persona) growing up, and due to that, I HATED high school. I considered myself to be an Invisible Girl. I had friends but never felt like I belonged there.

I was a super-huge Wil Wheaton fan-geek back then (some things never change) and I even hand-painted a T-shirt for you for your birthday one year.

I am glad that you are encouraging your kids to make the most out of their high-school years. I certainly wish that I had.

Just this week I was lamenting to my college-aged friend about how I missed "The College Experience" - dorm life, etc. I got my B.A. in English at a community college and University, but I never really felt like I was IN college. It was just High School Part II. At least I enjoyed THAT.

It's good to know that the actors that I respect and admire have similar feelings and experiences as I do. I hope I am as good with my children when they become teenagers as you are with your boys! Thanks for the post!

I'm so happy to see comments back! Hopefully they'll stick around, as long as a minority of farking idiots don't start abusing them again.

Your step kids are VERY lucky to have you around. You must be a wonderful person in their lives. You are very lucky to have a stepson who will say 'I love you'.

I just got out of highschool last year, and I have to admit that my highschool career might have been very different if someone had said to me not to 'waste' those four (or five, here in Ontario) years. I was shy, although I was lucky enough to find a group of friends who stayed with me through my highschool career.
Ryan is very lucky to have someone in his life to tell him that he is loved, and to watch him from the car. I wish him all the luck in the world in highschool.

~Natalie

Wow Wil, great story. Whenever I read something on your site I almost start crying, no joke. Coming to your site really brightens up my day, because I can seriously see bits of myself in you, and you simply say what's on your mind. It comes from the heart, and that's really refreshing in this day and age.

Keep up the good work.

Scott

This story, and the comments that followed, are bringing back many memories. These tales closely mimic my high school experience as well.

It's amazing, actually, that so many people had similar experiences as I did. High school was a cold place for me. I was shy, but also somewhat intimidating to others. I'm sure that many students felt I was judging them, when all I was doing was avoiding their rejection.

Joining the Sci-Fi club during my junior year really didn't help, and I found that I was an even bigger outsider to that clique. My lack of expression was my biggest mistake. I left it others' imaginations to guess what I was thinking, and of course their guess was worse than my actual thoughts.

Missed the prom, numerous dances, and the freedom that comes with being a teenager in high school. If I had a chance to do it again, my god, I would do so many things differently. The ironic fact is, the fights and confrontations I came across, are the most memorable moments that I have.

We're all dealt a different hand of cards in life. Let's play it wisely. The good news is, I'm still in the game. :)

Thanks for all the wonderful stories,

Eric B

You're a great Dad Wil. Those boys are very lucky to have someone like you in their lives. Thanks for sharing yet another intimate moment - I'm sure I'm not the only one who can relate to your experiences in high school. Now get back to work on JAG! ;o)

wow, Ryan is in high school. man memories. when you hit hs it's liek "oh my god" and you think youre just the top of cool or something.

That was the best thing I've read all week. Whoa. I have a 16 month old girl. Someday I'll have to that. I don't know how I'll do. I hope it's half has good as that. Great site. Keep it up!

Thanks for turning comments back on. I enjoy reading others comments to your posts almost as much as reading your posts themselves. Not quite as much, but almost.

So, might I say, DEATH TO TROLLS!

You know, I went to a regular public highschool. However, I always regretted not taking the opportunity I had to go to an arts school instead, and pursue my musical interests. At that age, I always dreamed of becoming a concert pianist, or a conductor. Two things that would have been in my reach, had I concentrated solely on my music.

Instead, I chickened out, and stayed in a regular highschool because I was too afraid of the change. Too afraid to make such a life altering decision at the age of 12. I guess it's really quite understandable when I think about it now, but that's the one path I regret not taking to this day.

I know the discussion is revolving around paths we might NOT want to change...but I thought I'd interject with a path I'd change in a New York minute if I had the chance.

Oh...that, and here's a few obligatory remarks:...*ahem* "great website", "first time commentor, long time reader", "you're a great guy/step dad/geek/webmaster/husband/etc", "enjoy your stay", "where's my tip"...err...yeah. nevermind about that last one. I got a bit carried away.

This past summer, I was talking to my 15 year old brother, who was about to start 10th grade. I asked him what he was taking, etc., and then I said, "I hated high school." He was surprised to hear me say that & asked, "Why?" I said, "Because, for four years, basically all anyone said to me was, 'You're so quiet. You're so quiet." or the sarcastic version of the same thing, 'God! We can never shut you up! Why don't you stop talking.'" He asked if college was different, and I told him that, for some reason, it was because I was able to find people I related to and I realized that I'm not really shy when I'm around people I have something in common with. I wasn't shy in chorus class (well, at first) or drama class.
My brother is terribly shy. He's been shy since birth. I wanted him to know that he can go through a terrible time in high school & still turn out to be a relatively normal & happy person even if he feels like a "loser" because he doesn't know what to say to people.
Thanks for sharing the story about your stepson. Very nice.
And, by the way, his favorite movie when he was a little kid was "Stand By Back." (We have no idea why he called it that.)
-madeleine

Great story Wil. One semester at public school? I guess that must have been after your escape from the other place. :)

I always appreciate your willingness to be honest and yourself with your blog. And Ryan must be cool too, to have given you permission to share the story.

Heh. Get back to JAG! You can do it and we can't wait.

"Death to Trolls" as said above by Chuck.

Yay, comments :)

I know where you are coming from (of course not in that I was the famous kid kinda way). I was always quiet in high school and thus mistakenly identified as a *shock, horror* snob.

When I was told this it really surprised me because I never viewed myself in that respect more to the contrary- I always felt inferior for some reason. Keeping quiet always seemed a good way to cover up my insecurities.

Nat.

Great song and a touching story. I have a little brother who skipped high school entirely and I have always had mixed emotions about the decision. I suppose ultimately skipping out on the "normal" high school experience is not much of a loss for someone unlikely to have a good run of things in the expected way.

While he missed out on prom and football games and all those formative events, it's probably unlikely that he'd have had rewarding experiences with those activities had he been there. It's hardly a given that high school will be all that it can be.

My old high school has been turned into elderly housing and an aunt is living in a room that used to be the principal's office.

Do you know that Sarah MacLachlan did a cover of "Dear God"? It is on her "Rarities, B-Sides & Other Stuff" album. I haven't heard the Partridge version but now I am curious. I really love Sarah's rendition of it though. really powerful.
BTW Step fathers are the best. My real father was/is a let down but my step father helped me out just by being a stable honorable father figure.

Awww, this is exactly why WWDN is so awesome. Thanks for sharing, Wil.

Wonderful story, Wil. Thanks for sharing it. My little boy is just a toddler, but I intend to be as honest and straightforward in my conversations with him as you were with Ryan. Well done.

Thanks for turning the comments back on for this. I love your family stories. They're always your best work.

If there's one thing I would change about my time in high school, it would be not to study so much and to get out and make friends. I was such a geeky bookworm, I missed the opportunity to make some life long friends. The few kids I knew were the kids who didn't belong in other groups, mostly kids who transferred from other schools. We were the not student gov, not sports, not band, not journalism, not any club kids who frantically seached for a club, any club, their senior year so there wouldn't be that big blank spot under their yearbook photo. If I was that kid today, I would have started my own club. If I was that kid today, I would have kept in touch with those other kids.

And some of us who did go to public school still missed out on homecoming, and prom, and football games. Ah, well, if I only knew back then what I know now.

So, I say, study, but balance that with other things. Because, as an adult, it won't be all work, you have to balance that with other things. You should start learning that balancing act now.

Great entry Wil. I felt like I was a fly in the backseat listening to the two of you. You have a knack for writing about those types of moments.

Great Jeaoaoaoaorb.

That didn't make me just internet cry. That brought a real tear to my eye. *wipes it* Very cool.

Wil,
I am a stepdad to a 13 year old boy who runs the gamet from acting and conversing like a little kid to a wise old man at any given moment.

I live for that look back... it's like all is well with the world at that moment in time.

-D

I like the part when you say, "right before I got Star Trek". That makes Star Trek sound like a disease.

Wow. Well you can just rock me to sleep tonight for all the memories that were just dredged up.

I hear ya loud and clear. Love XTC. Hated high school for the most part. I had just moved from a neighborhood where I was well known and comfortable to a neighborhood where I was a nobody. I was not what you would call outgoing, so I was dubbed the "too-good-to-talk-to-anyone-new-kid", and life sucked for quite a while. Between "Dear God", the Cure, and various thrash metal bands, frustrations were taken out in a much healthier way than kids do now (show up at school, point gun, pick off enemies).

Damn finally someone else who knows and loves XTC!! They are, without a doubt, my favorite band! I only wish Andy Partridge did not have such paralyzing stage fright...I'd kill to see them live.
You rock Wil!

Wow, did anyone else notice that Wil is a "Natalie"- magnet?

Natalie H.

Hi Wil, I've been reading your log for some months now, and this is my first comment. I enjoy your writing and can't wait for your next book to come out.

High school was the 9th level of hell for me. My stepfamily situation and a severe case of bookworm didn't help (although I am now in the book business so that worked out great). My point in writing is that if my stepdad was as understanding and intuitive as you obviously are, those years may have gone more smoothly for me. As a stepfather you may always feel awkward in certain situations, but your straightforwardness with your stepkids means more to them than you know, and probably more than they know.

And if you ever need another book business ear, feel free to drop me a line.

Wil, so glad for the comments again. Its brave of you.
Sounds like the step relationship is going well/getting better? You are a great roll model for the boys, (and Feris I imagine) ;)
Keep up the good work on the book, I'm dying to read it. Be fearless.

Awwww! I LOVE shmoopy Wil!

You know, Wil- I'm starting to be afraid that the set of our musical tastes are equal; every time you mention music you're interested in, it's always something I have a huge amount of on my hard drive. ;)

Anyway, XTC has been one of my favorite bands since high school (1988 grad) and 'Dear God' one of my favorite songs by them.

I can only hope I do half as well with my son when he's a bit older as you seem to be doing with your sons- it's never easy, but I have no idea how I'd handle a 16 year old when I can barely handle a three-year old. :-)

Hang in there,

Cyclometh

Great story Wil. Brings a tear to my eye. I hope someday I can share an experience like that with my children.

Im with you , Wil- XTC are one of the most talented bands ever. I had a remix of "Down in the Cockpit" that I played until the vinyl was smooth.
Their new stuff is pretty tasty too.
Also, do you remember the offshoot band Shreikback?
Thanks for the great site. Trogdor rules.
george

Awwww, that's so cute. It reminds me of one of those dramatic movies about parents whose lives sucked and they watch their kids have better ones, but they really end up being tortured and get hung on the inside of lockers, and get wedgies.

Sometimes I feel like you're reading my mind...

Did you know that Sarah McLachlan does an amazing cover of that song?

You're a great dad Wil.

I'm glad you're so honest with your step-kids.

And hey.. I don't think anyone thinks they fit in in HS.. as long as you had someone, somewhere, then that's all that matters.

A.

Quite simply, that was beautiful Wil.

"Dear God" reminds me of my freshman year of high school too. Coinky-dink.

wil, i'm vaklempt... talk amongst yourselves... duran duran is neither duran, nor duran, discuss!

You know, I had a really bad time in high school until I hit grade 11 or so. And I never had someone to wave goodbye to. And saying I love you was a very rare event in my house.

I am always so happy when I find that my experience is the odd rather than business as usual. I love it when I hear of people enjoying their teenagerhood and their families.

Considering your background and the background of other people that got involved with "show business" at a young age, it could have gone the other way so easily and I am very glad to see that you are so supportive with Ryan.

Great post Wil. I was the shy outcast at my school (or that is at least what it felt like)! I always wanted to go to a private school or a a school for the creative and performing arts. There was one right next door to my school and those kids always seemed to be having fun. I never went to a private school, but I survived all the same. I did however become more outgoing in college, or maybe it was just that folks were more accepting of who I truly was. I have no regrets, I am the person I am today because of my journey so far. I think that is amazing that your son said he loved you and is in high school, cherish that Wil, alot of parents don't hear that.

The song brings back so many of high school for me too...awkward,angsty,angry...agnostic.
My son is about the same age as Ryna nad I recently played that song for him. He's taken a liking to XTC. It's good to know the kid doesn't see it as fuddy,duddy music like I did my mom's music.

Nice story. Thanks for sharing :)

Dig the story, but I think you romanticize something you never had a chance (thankfully) to experience.

The same guy who designed our prisons also designed our school system. This is a sad, and very true, fact.

My school years were tormented, awful, stupid experiences filled with hateful, scared, and ignorant peers.

I agree that he shouldn't waste them, I wish I could say the same. But don't throw it out of proportion, high school is still just a stepping stone before getting out into the Real World (tm).

A very touching story from Uncle Willie! It made me smile during my break at work and made an otherwise exhausting day a little better.

Yeah, high school rocks and sucks in equal amounts. It's one of the most turbulent parts of your life, and nobody makes it through unscathed. I think it's not uncommon to feel very conflicted about it. I hated almost every day of it, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I miss it a lot, but I would never want to relive it.

I learned more about myself and the world in high school than in any other period in my life, at least up until I started my journal a year and a half ago.

Thinking back to my high school days, I think the people I actually miss the most are my teachers. I want to go back and visit all of them and apologize to half of them and thank the other half for everything they tried to teach me. Especially my English teacher in my senior year. I have a feeling if I saw her tomorrow, we would smile the same secret smile, with eyes filled with pain and laughter, and nod at each other, and go our separate ways. My smile would say "everything you ever told me was right", and hers would say "I forgive you for not believing any of it".

I was going to wait until my ten year reunion to visit my old teachers, but suddenly I am of a mind to do it sooner...

That was a "really" nice post! I hope it's 4 really good years.

I always liked that XTC song, as I can releate the angst, but never agreed with the lyrics (god gave us free will, and all that).

Great writing, Wil. You know what to say (how to say it) and what not to say. If you never acted, I'm sure you'd have become a writer any way.

Have you got any interesting stories of teachers/tutors you had on set?

That is a great story. :) I was a shy kid myself and people always used to think that I was full of myself as well. I believe that with time you would've made friends, but you had to do what you wanted to do to make you happy. I commend you on that. You gotta put yourself first- at least sometimes. Let me just say that you are TRULY an inspiration, and I can't wait to get your book in the mail! :)
Take Care and ALWAYS Keep it Real!
*Melinda*

I got lucky. My junior high school experience was much like yours was in high school (except for the whole fame part). But after that, I was lucky enough to end up in a school that largely consisted to social rejects and nerds like myself, and it turned into one of the more rewarding experiences of my life.

I just graduated high school and I'll admit that the first two years - for anybody - i think are the hardest. Not only because you're new into high school but because you still have the MAJOR intimidation from the juniors and seniors hovering over you. I wouldn't trade my senior year for anything though. Prom and this past summer were everything they're typically supposed to be for me and its sad that some people don't get to experience it. "People" always say that if you don't go to the Prom you'll regret it and i never really understood why...until i went and finally, i understand.

Great story, Wil. I'm sure Ryan will ease into high school no problem, but if not, just be there for him to vent to because i know that all i ever wanted was someone just to listen.

Wil...thanks for being there for Ryan. The rewards for that will last a lifetime.

Rick

I'm glad you put the comments back up Wil. That was a very touching story. It is great that you have such a great relationship with Ryan. My high school experience was pretty awful but so were most of my friend's so I figured it was suppose to be that way. Take care.
~Phemi

That's a great story. However, high school really bites for me. If someone told me four years ago how much I would have to work my rump 24/7 during the "best years of my life", then I certainly wouldn't be too worried about wasting them. Sorry for the negativity, but Ryan has some really hard times ahead of him. Make sure you are there for him and best of luck to you both.

I wish when I was younger that someone had given me the same kind of advice. Not that I didn't have some great moment, but I'm sure if someone had told me to make the best of it I might not have been so shy myself. I often wish I could go back, for just a week, as the new much more confident me that I am now.

Thanks for sharing the story. And thanks for having such wonderful advice.

P.S. I'm glad to see comments up again too.

I was one of those odd kids who was shy but in excellerated classes so could talk about stuff I knew with those kids. I had an odd but full of fun group of friends during high school in a public school. I was "boy crazy" and managed to date a senior all three years (we had middle school or junior high for grades 7-9).

I lucked out and got to be a gym leader, though was too gynastics challenged to ever be a cheerleader. I got to work at most of the games and dances helping or, in later years, running the coat check room for the student council. I was also a member of the commercial art class for all three years and had a ball doing banners and stuff for the whole school. Then there was the fun of doing the morning radio announcements which got me out of homeroom. (I hated homeroom).

All in all the experience was pretty good considering I loved to dance and got to go to all of the school dances for free, as well as something like five proms because I dated a senior all three years. That was the fun part.

Because I had parents who were both loving and strict, there were lots of family rules to be obeyed. One of them was that I didn't get to "play" or go to any non-school activities until and unless my homework was done and I maintained at least a B in every subject. Football games were usually included in the list of activities that were non-essential to my well being if my homework was not done. I didn't get to as many games as I would have liked.

College was a rather rude awakening for me. I was far from home for my freshman year, but managed to find some good friends anyway. My sophmore year was a nightmare as I changed schools from a rather small liberal arts college to a mega school, a state university. By the end of that year I was both married and pregnant.

Having children that young, at nineteen, made me accutely aware of the need for parents to be honest with their children. I knew that my husband and I would make mistakes along the way. One of them, I vowed, would not be appearing too perfect to our children so that they might think that they could never live up to our expectations.

This is my first visit to your site and I think that your post was not only sweet, but also inciteful. It seems to have helped a lot of people too. Thank you for sharing.

Check out that link! It seems Miss Margaret Cho *also* quoted "Dear God" by XTC in her daily blog today. Methinks perhaps Wil Wheaton and Margaret Cho are the same person! Have YOU ever seen them in the same place at the same time?

>:)

EB

Wil, I can't remember how I came across your site...it was just recently. The first blog I read was about the day you were at Hooters and the waitress asked if you "used to be an actor". I've been hooked daily since I've read that post. You are truly a gifted writer (and actor!!!!.....I still remember sitting in that theater watching Stand By Me with all my girlfriends...saying who is this kid?)....but...your writing is amazing. And this story really touched my heart.

It amazes me that you take the time to connect with everyone out here and share all of these moments of your life with everyone.

What a welcome relief to come to your site and read your blogs. Keep up with your writing, you are gifted!! Keep smiling.....Shannon

Nice one Wil. You and Ryan seem to have such a fantastic relationship, much better than a lot of people have with their biological kids. You're damn lucky Wil. You sound like you really have it all.

That was SO touching, Wil!

yay for comments! i don't understand why you'd have trolls. i guess they just want to chuck stones. anyway...

this post was awesome. you have a great family relationship. also, i think a lot of kids felt the same way in highschool, but for different reasons. i know i did; but i made friends anyway. s'the great thing about kids. they're resiliant.

damn; look at me. i'm only 21 and already calling highschoolers kids. i really think i'm just a kid, but feel much older. :( i'm happy, though.

and about the not wasting the years... i think they happen how they happen. perhaps i wasted mine, but i think they turned out ok. (i ended up dropping out and getting my ged anyway.) things happen as they happen. kids will be kids. but sometimes you get good opportunties, and memories.

later, will.

congrats! If he's talking to you like that, you are becoming a trusted authority figure in his life. I'm glad you were real with him.

I've just started a British college, which is sort of the same as Anerican High School, and I can relate to how you felt during you semster at High School. It's really hard to make friends, especially when you're different from everyone else. But I had a lot of people tell me how much they enjoyed it and how it was a time that shouldn't be wasted, and they're right. I'm sure that what you told Ryan is going to make a big difference to how he treats school, and it's going to be for the better. You are a really good parent.

I love your honesty with your boys. When I was growing up, it used to really bug me how, all the adults never understood mistakes.
Now I'm the parent, and tell them what I thought and felt, and did. Why lie, they are going to find out anyway.
It is in simple conversations like that one, that relationships are built. Being able to have those, makes the joy in parenting more complete.
Thank you so much for all the sharing you do.

there is a very thin line between enjoying your life in high school...or being totally miserable...if i had stayed in the background i wouldn't have been happy at all...but i got involved with many of the activities available...sports...plays and musicals...chorus...even student council...and being class vice president...i was...and still am a very shy guy among people i don't know well...being out front where the action was gave me a chance to let them get to know me first...without me stumbling over the words trying to introduce myself...and it worked...people came to think they knew me better than they did...and became my friends...most of them never knowing how clueless i was at the start...i hope ryan gets involved with alot of school activities...it really does help make high school a good place to be.

i meant to add that all of the great stuff i got to do in high school would have been hard for you...because you were a famous actor...and people were already super jealous of you...or they thought you should be able to walk on water...too bad for them...and sad for you...they never got to make friends with wil wheaton...the human being.

Thanks for sharing, Wil. You're too cool for... well, everything. :) I hope when I finally have kids that I have as good a relationship with them as you have with the boys.

You know, it was more from reading the comments than your original post (although I love 'dear God'). that I'm reminded of my first life lesson from someone my own age. We're all familiar with parents, teachers etc. who are role models. People we look back at and are thankful for. People who had a wisdom that touched us. Well, in high school, I found one of those people in a fellow student.

A lot of high school is filled with cliques (and we don't pronounce that kliks in Canada, it's cleeks. :). You've got your various groups that spend a lot of time making fun of outsiders, or other groups. In general, I think kids protect themselves by slagging others. High school amplifies that mechanism. I never knew there was another way, until I sat down with a different clique one day.

I knew a couple of people from this other group. I'll confess my main reason for sitting down with them was Tina. Oooh Tina! She was the total package. Brains, kind, sense of humour, and killer diller looks. Most cliques had a ritual. We'd sit in the cafeteria, and as people walked in, they would get a critique. We'd make fun of this guy because he was balding, or that girl because she had acne. You get the picture. This other clique wasn't into that. And there was this one particular guy who was their silent leader. He set the tone. I don't remember his name. And I only spoke with him on the one occasion, but he had an impact on me. I consider him to be one of those wise people that I look up to, and have taken guidance from. I think he was a year younger than I was.

When I foolishly opened my mouth once or twice to make my negative comments about he the 'walk-ins', he turned to me and asked me some questions. He never came down on me, or said I was being too negative or any of that. He just asked me questions. "Do you know him?", "Is he in your class?", "Why does he limp? Did he have an accient?" Just innocent questions that made think about the person I was slagging. When you force someone to keep talking, they'll shove their foot deeper into their mouth. Eventually, they choke on it. After I was finished choking, and began to see the walk-in as a human being instead of an outsider, then he had something to say. He spoke with compassion, intelligence, confidence. He never directed anything he said at me, but he showed me by example how we can really look at others and see the best in them. He made it clear that thinking of these walk-ins as members of your family, and giving them that kind of respect didn't make you weak, it showed you were strong.

That was the very first day in my life that I truly saw everyone in the world as equals. That was the day I learned that I shouldn't compare my 'insides' with other people's 'outsides'. If I didn't go to high school, I don't know when I would have learned that lesson. The rich tapestry of high school life has a lot to offer, but you have to sit a different tables to find it.

I read your blog everyday and I must say, you are a great writer and an awesome Step-Dad!

You have one hell of a fine family! Nice to see that their are real caring parents out there.

It's *so* heartening to know there are still parents out there who are really talking to their kids, and especially so considering he's not your "own flesh and blood".

I'm proud to say my parents are the same way, although they only really started being open with me when I was 18. I feel I missed out on a lot of talking time as a kid, but then I don't suppose I would have been as appreciative as Ryan.

You've got a great family...look after them. And thanks for sharing!

Ps. Let me add my w00ts to the cheers that the comments are back up!

Superb advice to your young stepson, Wil.

Oh, and with regards to the lyrics and gist of the XTC song....reminds me of the quote in the remake of 'The Count of Monte Cristo'....."I don't believe in God!"...."That's OK...He believes in you."

Isn't it sad that we puny humans think we can take the Creator of the Universe and put him in a little box so we can arrogantly think we comprehend him...or worse, blame him for our own stupidity?

Peace!
--Slipstream

that's such a touching story! especially when it comes to that album. i know i don't know you, but i feel like i do because of this post. this album has a special memory for me as well - my best friend who passed away 2 years ago, that was his favorite band/album. i acutally listened to it repeatedly when i was writing my eulogy for him. the album to me reminds me of a summer's day. So to think of it in response to your son's first day, a brand new experience, and that song in general, i find it amazing. like there is something more to this than we know. its so nice to have a special song or album to associate with a huge milestone in your life. thank you for all the times you've shared your wonderful experiences with us. i look forward to having kids someday because of what you share about your kids. :) and ps - xtc rules! :)

It's irrational sentimentality like this that just perpetuates destructive compulsory schooling.

Unfortunatley most parents as well as teachers attended the same institutions they send their kids to now, so it's not like they know any better alternatives.

Forced government schooling does to education what mandatory churches would do to religion - it completely repulses them to the idea of education for the rest of their life.

If you weren't an actor, Wil, it would have been easier on you. Also, the type of public school would make a difference. In a small community, a public school can be quite nice. I'm sorry that your experiences were bad.

I attended Wil's high school after he had already left. Most stories I'd heard were that he was arrogant. Some said he was just a weird loner (for example, someone said he wrote something like "Don't eat any fish" in their yearbook.). Highschoolers are hormonally poisoned and insecure. Putting down a successful kid made them feel better. "A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country."
I'm glad Wil is finding success in his life, though that success may not be material.

This is so god-damn touching! I am in high school and I never talk to my parents that way, you must be a great dad Wil Wheaton.

Well-spoken, Slipstream!! Out of the 85 posts before me, you are the only to actually speak wisely about God! I know most of the posts were about Wil and not actually religion, but I have huge respect for someone that can come out of the woodwork to speak what they believe contrary to the others. I don't like that song by XTC, nor do I respect what it stands for- thank you for speaking up!!

Hi Wil - It's so great to see the comments are back - I must have been under a rock or something, it took me until today (Saturday) to realize they were even back on....v. nice story about high school. It must have been very different for you. Well, hey, I didn't go to prom either, but it was because my best friend was gay and the jocks were planning to beat him up on grad night (here in Canada they tend to call it grad, not prom), so we went to a super fancy restaurant instead. That was okay, except it was my very first night taking my dad's car out all night, and I hit a car....in a parking lot. Okay, okay, now that you have finished laughing....Anyway, just wanted to say, I have told some of my friends about your site and they are really interested in your stuff. I'm not surprised - you're being honest, so of course it's interesting. Best of luck with the high school age son, though - have none of my own, but have friends going through that right now. Apparently, it is ever so slightly harder with teenage daughters, so count your blessings, man...

I really liked your story. I think it is important to tell our kids what we were really like so that they know they are normal. We need to make sure that they know what we missed out on so that they don't and what we did have that they probably won't. It's talks like the one you had that make bonds stronger with our kids, especially if everyone knows you face and name. It's good that you let him know that even though you had a good time with Star Trek that there were things you missed out on.

I think you're doing a great job and your they're lucky to have you.

Diana

Great story Wil! I liked the story. Reading everyone's post made me feel good. I had a terrible time in high school. I had to transfer in the middle of my freshman year in high school. I moved from a school with about 1500 students in it to a school with 250. I had only four or five friends where I moved to. It stunk being the new kid because I did not know how to act around them. I was an outsider where I moved from but I had more friends cause I grew up there. Thank you for sharing a great story. I like the advice you gave Ryan. If I was to change something I would try not to care what people thought of me.

Holy crap! Your writing skills are incredible. You ever want to collaberate on a book with me, just drop me a note. None of my associates are as enterprising.

68.0.141.193

Comments! Great posts! Thank you, Wil.

I live in the US but grew up elsewhere. I never had prom or football games and I still haven't figured out what homecoming is, but I enjoy the myths that seem to grow up around them.

I had other things that I got to do, including some that were meant to be A Big Deal but turned out to be anticlimactic, so I might as well have had Prom and Football games and Homecoming...

:-)

PS Good writing today.

That was lovely. :) I loved high school. I miss high school. :(

"Wow, did anyone else notice that Wil is a "Natalie"- magnet?

Natalie H.

Posted by Natalie at October 3, 2003 01:06 PM"

Yeah what's with that? :)

Uncle Willy,

You seem like a really cool Dad. I hated High School myself. I always felt like I was a million miles away from everbody watching others through a high powered telescope. I didn''t make friends in High School. In fact, I can't remember anyone I ever did anything with outside of school. I never went to prom, football games, or anything.

And you know, what? Even in college not much has changed.

I guess I will always be ME. Whatever that means. In fact, thats my life's quest to answer that question. Who is Jason?

I dunno.

Jason

Slipstream got a post of support, so I'll speak up in opposition. I find it tremendously arrogant that people look at what we humans have accomplished and think it's so fabulous that it must have required divine help.

No.

We did it ourselves, and we've still got a long way to go.

I have to admit that "Dear God" has always featured high in the ranks of my all time personal favourite songs. Sarah McLachlan does a stunning rendition of this song, and is certainly worth seeking out.

All The Best,

Scott

High School for me was quite awful I'll admit. I was constantly being picked on and such, luckily I just taught myself to put up a sort of shield around myself and I tried to ignore them..

I love reading your stories, you sound like a really wonderful step dad and I'm sure Ryan will likely have a good time at high school.

Great to see the comments back.. it's nice to read about other folks experiances too.

I remember when I was working at Canuckian Tire back in the day and this girl who went to the same high school as I told me when she'd see me in the hall she always thought I was a nice person.

In my head I thought "Well why didn't you come talk to me then?"

Augh. People. I think it's pretty obvious my transistion into becoming a hermit these last few years heh.

im comment 100.. rock on wil

Wow, Wil that was a wonderful story. You are an unbelievable writer and father. Please continue to share your wonderful stories with us.

Cori

p.s. Thank you for turning comments back on.

Loved the story, Wil. I have some idea of how you feel...I was much the same "type" as you in high school, minus all the fame and stuff. I managed to fall in with some good people that made things less painful...but only *less*, not completely pain-free. I hope that Ryan finds his niche, too...though I hope he has an easier time of it than either you or I did.

Oh, and many thanks to artisticspirit (above) for reminding me of the Sarah McLachlan cover of "Dear God." I was lamenting the fact that we don't have any XTC in our collection when I read her message...and we *do* have "Rarities, B-Sides...". Commence ripping :-).

that was such a great story.
i am so nearly crying.
its nice to know that im not the only one whose gone through unpopularity.
your relationship with your step son is something you should treasure, as im sure you already do.
chin up :)
ellie
p.s its nice to see comments back!

Great real life story Wil.

You know Gawd works in mysterious ways.

Hey what's that in the sky? It looks like a giant hand reaching toward me...

AHHHHH.....

XTC is definitely cool. I love "Dear God."

/just my $.02

Um, Andrew? Wouldn't it be the opposite of "arrogant" then if we believe that we shouldn't get the credit?? Maybe you meant to use another word. Perhaps you meant to choose ignorant, and that's just ironic.

So really- we did it all? I don't remember creating the universe, do you? Every good and perfect gift comes from above- I believe that with all my heart. I'm sorry you have so much anger towards others that find so much love in God.

You're certainly back on track. I believe you just posted another story for a future book! This is exactly the kind of stuff you're best at communicating. We, the people, love this stuff. Keep it up! Hooray, Comments!

Just noticed the Comments are back up. That's awesome.

Great story about your stepson, Wil. Short but sweet.

Well this drives the final nail in the coffin of my unreasonable dislike of Wil Wheaton (all due to his character in that star trek series). I am a huge fan of XTC and to discover that Wil has the good taste to enjoy them as well makes it impossible to dislike him, and I enjoy his writing as well!

I was introduced to XTC by a friend when I was in HS too, and when he died a few years ago I was filled with the loss but I always remember sitting in his parents basement listening to "Making Plans for Nigel", just two geeks sharing a moment in time.

PS
The Sarah McLaughlin version is on the XTC tribute album "Testimonial Dinner" as well

Since Wil has asked us not to use this as a BBS, I'll only offer a brief reply to Krista's comments.

I'm not sure what you perceive as anger in my comments; if anything, I pity those who have to invent a deity to find fulfillment in their lives. I do get angry at religious people who fail to heed Jesus' greatest commandment, but that's by no means all of them.

And yes, I meant "arrogant." Our society has lots of serious problems we need to be working on, and those who claim that we enjoy divine favor often seem to overlook those flaws in their rush to glorify God.