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I swear to freaking Anhur, if I die of freaking starvation on level five of the Dungeons of Doom one more time, I will scream.


I used to die of starvation playing Duke Nukem arcade... could never get past the damned conveyor belts of doom...

hang in there Wil...


I haven't played that game, but it looks familiar to Nethack that I used to play back in the day (1990). I was pleasantly surprised to find a version of Nethack for OSX.

But I still get killed by stupid things like starvation and praying and my god ignoring me.

Guess I will have to try DoD and see if I can not starve.

Well, you can always take your frustration out on any Sims that you have. Just build a wall around the ones you don't like and leave them to starve. It might make you feel better.

On a side note, did you know that your blog is up for an award?
Just an observation. :)

I used to die of starvation playing e-swat on genesis. Couldn't get past the fricken science lab level. The sims also has caused me to lose sleep, work, money, and a life. I have spent enough time playing age of empires, that I could have launched an internet campaign for the presidency by now...

I get sooo pissed off with some games. I'm right at the end of Knights Of The Old Republic at the moment, facing Malak in a one-on-one fight.

I have picked the bloody game up in over a month.

I have to get a cool down period after 39 hours of gameplay, and just re-assess where I am.

re. Hell.


If you're weak from hunger and you have no food, go ahead and #pray
If you haven't pissed off your God he'll fill your stomach for you. :)

Wait, don't scream yet.

Read this.

Okay, now scream.

I made it to EXP 7, DL 7, and was cruising along nicely . . . until I drank from a sink (against my better judgement) and woke up an E . . . then I ran away into a dead end. I lasted two turns. :(

If at first you dont succeed...try, try, try again.

Then again you could say...if at first you don't fricasse, fry, fry, fry again. =^)

Of how about: I think Wil can, I think Wil can, I think Wil can...

Are my chants working yet?

I'm sorry - but I'm lmao at you. *g*


And I mean snerk that in the most affectionate way I can express, Wil.


At least you can reassure yourself that you are spending your time profitably.

Oh, come on, I'm just kidding.


Take those rings off! (Unless it's a ring of slow digestion).

Man, I was just thinking about getting back into Nethack on my drive home. This *might* have just pushed me over the edge.

Do you play on a public server? It's pretty cool to find others ghosts...


Dude, Nethack is so easy. Well, I shouldn't talk. I can only get to lvl 14 of the Dungeons, then have to backtrack and go into the Dwarven Mines. *shudder* Harsh man, harsh.

Good luck on getting past lvl 5!

No Points Name Hp [max]
1 4171 Morc-Wiz-Orc-Mal-Cha died in The Dungeons of Doom on
level 6. Killed by a water elemental. - [59]
2 3036 wil-Wiz-Orc-Mal-Cha died in The Gnomish Mines on
level 6. Killed by a gnome king. - [41]
3 2396 Morc-Wiz-Orc-Mal-Cha died in The Gnomish Mines on
level 6. Killed by a gnome king. - [42]
2030 Morc-Wiz-Elf-Mal-Cha died in The Gnomish Mines on
level 3. Killed by a hill orc. - [37]
4 1825 wil-Bar-Orc-Mal-Cha died in The Dungeons of Doom on
level 5. Killed by a dingo, while helpless. - [72]
5 1786 Morc-Bar-Orc-Mal-Cha died in The Dungeons of Doom on
level 5. Killed by a kitten. - [54]

If you're playing version 3.4.1 (not sure about earlier versions) try being a healer. They start out knowing the "Stone to Flesh" spell. Find a boulder and turn it into a Huge Chunk of Meat, or break it up with a pick axe and it's Meatballs for everyone. It's hard to get very far with a Healer (replace the scalpel as soon as you can) but at least you shouldn't starve.

Aren't you supposed to be writing a book, young man? It's getting cold standing in this line and I need to change my socks


So which are you playing, Wil?

PocketRogue (I carry this on me on my Palm at all times)

I've been addicted to all of the above.

Who the hell is Nick Danger anyway?


You should play a real game. Try Knights of the Old Republic. It's currently my favourite. And there is no starving to death. There is, however, Jedi Force powers.

"You should play a real game."

Pff. Philistine!

PacMan World 2 in Ghost Bayou is all i gotta say..

Wil, I have no idea what you're talking about, but the fact that you were killed by a dingo is freaking hilarious.

"A Dingo stole MyWilWheaton(TM)!"

no, the dingo's not funny. the kitten! the fact that he was killed by a KITTEN is hilarious!

I hear you, Wil. Personally, the LOTR movies have gotten me playing Angband again.

hey nice! wesley put the comments back on!

Don't feel too bad, Wil- I can't even get through the first few levels(?) of Ancient Domains of Mystery without dying. Ah well.

5 1786 Morc-Bar-Orc-Mal-Cha died in The Dungeons of Doom on
level 5. "Killed by a kitten." - [54]

ah now that is poetic justice.

I have not played one of those games in ages..although I did fall prey to diablo2 again recently. *sigh*

Heh, like the Anhur reference..... I am so feeling the geekiness right now.

Oh yeah... play a V... much easier for the beginner...

The easiest way I've discovered to find food is to play a monk who doesn't eat. I swear, every time I try that I seem to find food in every other room.

God, I love the geekiness of you, I really, really do. It brings a warmth to my fangirl heart.

Nifty comment verification system...

Anywho, if I had a nickle for every time I went hunting food rations and never found any, I'd be a rich man. There are days when the random level generator just doesn't like to behave, and gives you either an inexplorable dungeon with no way to lower levels, or tortures you with item shortages, especially in the food ration department.

One of the first things I do is try and find a shop. They usually appear at least on the first four or so levels. Better still if it's a general store, that way you can sell off enemy junk for extra cash.

But you knew that already. What was the point of this rant? Ahhh, the heck with it... *slaps self silly*


I love the fact you got killed by a Kitten. I play nethack, but can never get that far. The most interesting game I played was when I decided to be a tourist. The problem was I was in a shop and I couldn't get the shop keeper to move out of the doorway. So I died of starvation in the end, but I did get to level three that way. Usually I die on level two.

Nethack is one of those games that you love to hate, and get more and more addicted to it.

2.21pm GMT

5 1786 Morc-Bar-Orc-Mal-Cha died in The Dungeons of Doom on level 5. Killed by a kitten. - [54]

I can't believe I am the first poster to point out that *at last* all those poor kitties on fark.com have had their revenge!

come on wil, you strike me as the type of guy who would be above starvation.

you should be moving on to food poisoning or even killed by a shopkeeper

So being a non-gamer, I Googled DYWYPI and went to the first page listed. The poor guy has a message up wondering why so many people were finding that page by searching for "DYWYPI". The original page is from 2002. Poor guy.

Dude, if this is nethack, eat almost everything you kill ! I recently read the phrase somewhere in the manual or FAQ - "Kill them, eat them, take their stuff". That'll get you a lot further in the game...of course, figuring out how to kill an owlbear or gargoyle before it kills you is a tough one, but at least you're not starving.

Also I just realized that wizards shouldn't wear any metal armor (helms and shoes included. So *that's* why my failure rates shot up so dramatically.

Wil rules!

Wil when you get weak from hunger you can pray and it will bring your hunger level to zero. It has saved my life dozens of times. Just donít do anything to piss off your God or it will not work. And donít do it more that once every (500-1000?)moves. If you have a unicorn horn you can use it cure your sickness if you eat a monster that is tainted. And save liken corpses for food, they never rot.

Or try playing in wisard (non-scoring push the W key)mode. its a great way to learn about the game without the frustration of getting killed all the time. This page has a lot of spoilers for nethack.


maybe the kitten that killed Wil is one of Pete Abram's kittens. you know, the spawn of Satan kittens? that'd justify it a lot better and then the dingo gets to be funny again because it's much less harmful than one of Satan's kittens.....anyone got milk?

Yeah ADOM (www.adom.de) is the best. A rougelike with a real story!

I'm the "poor guy" that Mr. Wise mentioned above. It was actually quite nice to have the extra traffic, especially after I found out where it was coming from. Has anyone coined the phrase "Wil Wheaton Effect" yet? Kinda like the slashdot effect, but cooler?

Choose a human or Dwarven character
Stay away from chaotic its a much easier game as lawful (plus you get excaliber for an early boost)

Killed by a kitten. Arduin lives on.:D

I'm dying of starvation, wish it was the arcade kind, my girl is holding out! Guess I better lay off the computer for the next few days, but I think I pissed off so bad I might be waiting for weeks!

Hee hee, you are such a geek! :P

The advice here has been pretty spot-on: 1) Eat all you kill (to the extent practical), and 2) Pray when you start fainting. I would add: 3) Don't eat anything you never see your pet eating (mainly kobolds and undeads in the upper levels, along with things that have poison attacks), 4) Try to make sure you get to edible corpses before your pet does (so that you can either eat them, or else pick them up and toss them to your pet for a tameness bonus), and 5) Gnomes are good eating and there's a place to find shitloads of them. (Oh, and there's also tons of food in Sokoban, as well as rings and wands.)

Try playing monks. At first, monks seem a poor choice, as they don't eat corpses, but they start with a heck of a lot of food, and the further down the dungeon you get, the easier food is to find.

Also, it helps to know that there's food for purchase in minetown.

Finally, when you are weak from starvation, pray.

The easiest characters in the early game (pre-Quest) are the most robust ones - barbarians, who are strong and poison-resistant (more corpses may be safely eaten, no death from killer bee), and samurai or valkyrie, who start out strong, fast, and well-armed. These characters are the ones most likely to survive impatient nethack habits (running pell-mell through corridors, careless attack of a floating eye, taking a swipe at a "q" that you thought was a rothe, but actually is a mumak).

Play slowly (type slowly) - stop and size up creatures/situations - but don't linger on levels, either. Find the up and down stairs and clear out the existing monsters if you can, play in the shops or at altars if you must, but keep moving.

If it all becomes too much, try this instead. It's a "walkthrough" guide for the intrepid explorer shopping at IKEA.


I swear, I laughed right out loud when I read that.

If you play NH offline, you can use a program called Hearse to send in copies of your "bones" files and get some new ones back in exchange. Check out:


I remember playing Dungeons of Doom a lot in college, late 80s. Didn't know anyone still played it!

I recall being pissed off that my roommate's little brother came to visit and in a week got farther along than I ever had. Turned out that getting good rolls on attributes was invaluable. Take a barbarian and don't settle for less than awesome scores -- that'll make the dang game much more reasonable. It's very diffucult if you settle for any old scores and depend on your own skill. Everyone's over-rated on this game!

Eh, I'm feeling like an old uber-geek. The "Dungeons of Doom" are something inside NetHack rather than the old stand-alone Dungeons of Doom game, right?

What's Crackin! - Just need to go Play Bingo - for my Online Bingo Habit! But I cannot Find a Good Bingo Online website to cover my bingo addiction!