breath of life
If everything goes according to plan, Ryan, Nolan and I will embark on a new and wonderful phase of our lives together this evening. We will grab some root beers, sit at our dining room table, and I will take them on their very first dungeon crawl.
We have spent the last week or so creating characters, discussing the rules, and building excitement for tonight's adventure. I have been staying up an extra hour or two each night after the kids go to bed, pouring over websites and my core rule books, simulating combats and creating NPCs. I'm pretty nervous, because I'm DMing an adventure for the first time since The Isle of Dread in 6th grade. And back then, I managed to kill everyone in the party pretty quickly, and never got to sit behind the screen again.
(For those of you keeping score at home, that would be about 19 years ago -- Holy crap. Ninteen years ago? I've really been feeling older lately, and writing that number really put a crick in my neck. When did 31 become old? I know it's not, but . . . damn.)
Anyhow, last night, Nolan and Anne were in the kitchen cutting his hair. I was at the dining room table reviewing Cleric spells, while I listened to The Two Towers soundtrack. Ryan came out of his room, and sat down across from me.
"Watcha doing?" he said.
"Just refreshing my memory. It's been --" I paused. "Well, it's been a really long time since I played ran a campaign, and I want . . . "
(I want you to think I'm cool. I want to do something special for you. I want to share something with you guys that isn't sports-related, so your dad can't take it over and force me out of it.)
"I want to make sure you guys have a good time," I said. "It's important to me."
"I'm so excited!" he said.
"Me too."
He absentmindedly rolled some d20s I'd scattered across the table.
"Can I roll up an extra character, just for fun?" he said.
"Is your homework finished?"
"Yeah. Everything's done, and I worked ahead in Biology."
"Really?"
He nodded.
"Dude. That's super-responsible. I'm proud of you."
He smiled. "So can I?
"Sure," I said. "The dice bags are on my desk."
He got up, and walked over to my office. My desk, normally buried under computer books and writing journals, is currently coverd with gaming books: GURPS, Mutants and Masterminds, Car Wars, too many Cheapass games to count, and -- of course -- a stack of D&D books ten feet tall.
"It's 4d6, right?" he called out.
"Yep, 4d6. And you --"
" -- throw away the lowest roll." we said in unison.
"Ryan, I . . . "
(I love it when that happens.)
"I have an extra character sheet here that you can use." I said.
"Okay."
I went back to my books. A moment later, Ryan returned. Four six-sided dice dropped from his hand and rolled across the table.
"Since you're the DM, will you watch my rolls?"
"You bet! This is . . . "
(This is something I'll remember for the rest of my life.)
"This is really fun."
He picked up the dice, and threw them: 2 - 4 - 5 - 1
"Eleven?! Oh man!" he said.
"Hey, eleven isn't a bad roll at all." I noticed something familiar about the dice. Two of them were black, with red numbers. There was a skull where the one would have been.
"Hey, I have dice just like those in --" my heart stopped. I jumped up, and ran into my office.
There it was, in the cool blue glow of my monitor, atop my Freedom City sourcebook: an open bag of dice. My bag of dice. The black one, with the red pyramid from the Bavarian Illuminati on it. A clear d10, and two brilliant blue d12s sat near its open top. Its drawstring was cast carelessly across the side of the book, dangerously close to my Zen fountain.
Ryan slowly walked into the room.
"Is something wrong?" He said.
"You . . . you touched my dice!" I said. I felt a little woozy.
"Well . . . yeah." he said.
"No. Ryan, you . . . "
(You are about to see your stepdad as the old gamer geek he really is. The gamer geek I hope you'll be one day . . . heh. This is actually kind of cool.)
"You can't ever touch my dice." I said, patiently.
"Uhh . . . aren't they all 'your dice'?"
"Technically, yes, but these here, in this bag, they're the ones I've played with since I was in high school."
He furrowed his brow and looked at me for a moment, while I put my dice back into my bag. A white d8 with worn off blue numbers, the clear d10 with white numbers, a green d6 that's really a poker dice . . .
"When I was younger, these dice . . . "
(These dice were some of the most important things in my life. Well. I have some perspective now.)
"These dice were a big part of my life." I said.
I held the bag in my hand and looked at him. For the first time in eight years, I saw some of myself reflected back.
"You know what? It's not that big a deal. I'd just rather you use some other dice." I said.
"So do I get to re-roll that eleven since I used . . ." he lowered his head, and spoke in a grave voice: "The Forbidden Dice?" He smiled.
We laughed together.
"Eleven is a good roll, Ryan." I said.
"I know, but twelve gets me plus one."
"Okay. You can re-roll. But if you get a lower roll, you have to keep it."
I tossed him my green bag, and he dug out 4d6.
"Deal." He said.
We walked back into the dining room and sat back down at the table. Ryan threw 4d6: 2 - 5 - 2 - 1
"Nine?! Oh man!"
"I bet that eleven is looking pretty good now, isn't it?" I said.
"Shut up." he laughed.
He collected the dice, held them thoughtfully for a second, and said, "Wil, I'm sorry I used your dice. I just thought that bag was really cool."
"It's okay Ryan. Someday . . . "
(Someday, I'll give that bag, and all the dice in it, to you.)
"Someday, you'll have your own dice, and your own dice bag, and you'll understand."
He threw 4d6: 6 - 6 - 4 - 4
"Sixteen! Rock!" he threw the goat.
On a 3x5 card, he wrote a one and a six beneath his nine.
"Ryan, I . . ."
(I love you more than you'll ever know. Thank you for sharing these moments with me.)
"I can't wait to play with you guys tomorrow night."
Comments
One day, that memory is going to be as precious to Ryan as it is to you now. Awesome work Dad.
Posted by: Sarah | February 19, 2004 11:27 AM
And I thought it was cool when I got my wife to play D&D.
Now you just gotta teach Ferris.
Posted by: David Grenier | February 19, 2004 11:35 AM
You rock. So very much, you rock. Go you with your Mad Dad Skillz.
Posted by: Jeremy | February 19, 2004 11:37 AM
Dude, that is so unbelievably rocking. I only hope that when I have kids, I can have equally touching moments and memories of us sharing geekdom together like that.
Awesome. :)
Posted by: JohnG | February 19, 2004 11:40 AM
You just did that thing that makes me such an enormous fan of Stephen King after all these years - no, not killing people with rabid dogs - you narrated your interior monologue. If there's one thing a writer can do that makes me do the Snoopy Happy Dance, it's when he/she gives me a sneak peek at what's going on inside their head. I live for that sh- er, stuff.
And on a personal note - I would have given my left hind leg to have a parent or step parent that I had a hobby or activity to share with. Your stepsons are some lucky kids. And *you're* lucky because they don't yet seem to have that teenage phobia about doing anything at all that isn't absolutely mandatory with a parental unit.
And I'm lucky because I get to read about it.
Posted by: ~D~ | February 19, 2004 11:40 AM
My son is interested in playing D&D, and is earning toward getting his own PHB. Makes me a bit misty to think about it. Even more so when I get to run him through his first real, non-boxed-set adventure. I have a pretty good idea how you feel. :)
Posted by: Elissa | February 19, 2004 11:44 AM
Man, remember when role-playing was supposed to be all Satanic and Jack Chick wrote comics condemning it? Now it's a family pass-time. What's the world coming to?
Posted by: Sean O'Hara | February 19, 2004 11:44 AM
Wow. I don't read your blog on a regular basis, but as a sometimes gamer and an appriciator of all things meaningful, I must admit to nearly crying at my desk at work at the sweetness of your story. I hope you guys have all the fun in the world - it sounds like you're already well on your way to that :)
Posted by: Misty | February 19, 2004 11:46 AM
Man what I wouldn't have given to have a gamer geek as a dad! Instead when both my parents found out that I was playing D&D, they came and removed me from the table in the back of the local gaming store; "The Glass Dagger," practically by the ear...
*laughs* I suppose they thought Satan had ahold of me. ;)
Posted by: Rainmaker | February 19, 2004 11:46 AM
Wil, thats awesome. They are so lucky to get a dad who will play with them and teach them. So many parents dont share what they are passionate about with their kids . . .so rock on!
Posted by: Kali | February 19, 2004 11:47 AM
Okay, nominating you for the Coolest Dad Ever award. That's the awesomest thing to do ever.
Posted by: Cassie | February 19, 2004 11:54 AM
Wow. That's highly cool. Not that you're getting more people interested in gaming and teaching them how to be responsible gamers (which is in and of itself a great thing) but that you've found something to share with your kids that you love and that they can love as well. Great work, man.
Posted by: Max | February 19, 2004 11:57 AM
reading this makes me feel slightly better about the fact that i recently starting playing that again, too.
the only problem is that i don't have the excuse of kids to soften the nerdiness. ;)
Posted by: kimberly | February 19, 2004 11:59 AM
Very cool. You write great dialogue, it's my favorite style of your posts.
Posted by: Almost Lucid | February 19, 2004 11:59 AM
Ewige Blumencraft!
Posted by: Reuben | February 19, 2004 12:02 PM
That was one of the sweetest things I've ever read. You're a wonderful father.
Posted by: Karri | February 19, 2004 12:06 PM
Wish my dad RP'd with me. Usually I didn't have anyone I could play with.
Remember, if you do kill everyone, you're the DM, what you say goes. A little deus ex machina when you're young is a fine way to be saved :-)
Posted by: Grimicus | February 19, 2004 12:06 PM
Y'know, I had the same, instinctive knee-jerk reaction when my daughter first touched my dice. It wasn't wrong, per se... but those were /my dice/, and I'd spent far too many hours playing with them back when I had a regular, local gaming group. And my actual reaction to her touching them wasn't dissimilar to yours, either.
Of course, now she wants her own dice. That's the next step, after all.
Kids sure do change our views on the world, don't they? :)
Posted by: Pixel | February 19, 2004 12:07 PM
You. Rock.
Posted by: Liz | February 19, 2004 12:11 PM
*SNIFF*
Posted by: ToastedAmigo | February 19, 2004 12:12 PM
Wil,
Its posts like that that keep me coming back to read your blog. Way to go Dad you ARE the ROXOR!!!!111
Posted by: Sean | February 19, 2004 12:13 PM
Dude you so rock! You have some awesome dad skills, and those kids (and you) are so lucky! RPG on!
---Ashley
Posted by: Ashley | February 19, 2004 12:13 PM
Fantastic. Reminds me of a time I ran a game for my little brother and his cohorts. I've never had so much fun running a game.
Plus which, they fall for all the old tricks you wouldn't dream of using on your peers...
Posted by: Pete | February 19, 2004 12:14 PM
Wow. *sniff*
Posted by: Vicky | February 19, 2004 12:18 PM
Wil,
It's always nice to spend time with those you love most and have those memories. My dad and I weren't very close when I was growing up. My sister and him were more on the same page since she was into sports. I've since come into my own, and I don't think he's disappointed too much as to how I've turned out. He does have his regrets for not being there for me while I was growing up. However, every summer, me and him would always go down to Busch Stadium (since I live near St. Louis) and watch a baseball game. It was just the two of us...our time together. Even now, I'll take my dad if he's off work. Though they may be building a new ballpark now and will be tearing down the old one, the memories will last forever.
I like reading stories like that of you and your stepkids. That is what America is all about. And it's always nice to read that not everyone in the LA area have these glamourous lives. That most are just down to earth people just like everyone else....no difference at all. Enjoy these times, Wil. One day, maybe the boys will bring a game to you and want to play. It means a lot to you now, but it means the world to them.
Posted by: James | February 19, 2004 12:18 PM
Wow. I think that's the first time I've gotten emotional reading about gaming prep.
Can't wait until my 3-year-old is old enough for me to corrupt-
I mean, to introduce her to the fine art of gaming.
Posted by: Jim | February 19, 2004 12:19 PM
That is so sweet. I love bonding over the slaying of magical creatures.
Posted by: Astra | February 19, 2004 12:20 PM
Reading this post brought back all sorts of memories of my dad teaching me to play chess, Risk, monopoly, and other, albeit more "traditional", games when I was but a wee lad. My dad also gave me my first taste of programming; he had this Star Trek text adventure that he kept on tweaking until the characters behaved more like he thought they should. He would play Monty Python records in the house, introducing me, at the tender age of three, to such wonders as The Lumberjack Song, Spam, and Four-Hour Cat Burials. Having blossomed into the full-fledged geek that I am, I can honestly say that geek-dads are definitely the most fun. I can only hope that when I become a father, I can set the kind of example to my children that you are setting for yours.
How about model rocketry? Now there's a geek hobby to pass to your offspring, and the source of stories I remember to this day...
Posted by: Steve | February 19, 2004 12:21 PM
That's why I wanna have kids someday, to teach them how to play D&D. Ah the glory of dorkdom.
Posted by: Keith Divver | February 19, 2004 12:24 PM
Oh Man! Curse of the GM! NEVER, NEVER, NEVER touch the GM's dice. It's bad mojo.
Hope you all had a great game! :)
Posted by: kirk | February 19, 2004 12:25 PM
Very cool.
Well played.
Posted by: Paul | February 19, 2004 12:40 PM
Having a kid myself, and being involved in "step" (or whatever) situations - I really look forward to when you talk about these boys. This one brought a tear to my eye and made me resolve to pay even more attention to times like that in my life. Thanks, Will.
Eric
Posted by: Eric Grey | February 19, 2004 12:40 PM
I loved reading the reference to gaming with your kids. Very cool move.
Amazingly what brought me here today (on the day you posted about gaming) was a link to your site posted on our gaming forum, and the link was made "before" your post...lol. The post was about blogs...not gaming.
Way to go, Wil.
Posted by: Alan | February 19, 2004 12:44 PM
Wil,
One of your best posts in a long time. Great work.
Posted by: think_balance | February 19, 2004 12:44 PM
Man That was a great story.
The strange thing is as me and my friends get older I can see the day we gather our kids together for their first RPG coming sloser . Also as a table top RPG designer I love the fact that people are still playing and passing on table top gaming to their kids.
Now I have to kick myself for not giving wil a copy of my RPG when he visited my table at Comicon 2003! So Will if you ever read this email me and I'll ship you a free Copy of the Core Rules and the GM Screen on the house!
Posted by: Malcolm Harris | February 19, 2004 12:47 PM
I just started playing D&D again with my girlfriend and some friends of hers. I haven't played in about eleven years but I love the power of 3rd edition when compared to second.
I'm running as the DM which is a little scary. I DMed before and I thought I did a pretty good job but its tough learning the rules and being the boss at the same time.
Good luck and have a lot of fun.
Posted by: Mike | February 19, 2004 12:53 PM
Great story!
You make it cool to be a geek :)
Posted by: Mike C | February 19, 2004 01:01 PM
Damn Wil, that is beautiful! You are a great writer and an inspiration, I wish I could run a game with you *grins*. I hope you tell us how it goes.
Posted by: David | February 19, 2004 01:06 PM
Oh wow, you guys are going to have so much fun.
RAWK! *metal horns*
Posted by: Neph | February 19, 2004 01:11 PM
Man, I've never gotten misty-eyed over a story about an RPG before. That's some fine writin' there, mister.
Posted by: Mike Sperry | February 19, 2004 01:14 PM
It seems that every time I just hugely geek out, the next day you make an entry reminding me how very great it is to be a geek. Thanks.
Posted by: jon | February 19, 2004 01:17 PM
AD&D is all well and good, but for the ultimate experience in fantasy gaming (in my opinion), you have to go with Hackmaster.
I like to say it's AD&D first and a half edition. It takes the best of 1st edition AD&D, the best of 2nd edition AD&D, and adds a good dose of humor and great rules as well.
Posted by: Kevin M. | February 19, 2004 01:19 PM
Nice post, Wil. When you mentioned the "cool dice bag", it made me thing of these guys. They're a husband and wife team who make these awesome dice bags, with custom embroidery, fabrics, cool grommets, the works. I got one for a friend of mine for Christmas and instantly regretted that I had it monogrammed, because it meant I couldn't keep it for myself.
Anyway, they've recently had a string of Real Life Hard Luck, and are trying to overcome some financial difficulties by getting the word out and selling as many of their cool dice bags as they can. So if anyone was hit by a wave of nostalgia after reading Wil's post and wanted to give their old sacred dice a cool new home, go to www.thegamersbag.com and place an order. We need to make sure they're still in business for the next generation of gamers who will want a place to keep their own dice.
Oh, and by the way, Wil... I have the exact same black dice with red skulls on them. They are the best character creation dice I've ever had.
Posted by: Terrepin | February 19, 2004 01:20 PM
So sweet.....you are an awesome step dad....these stories always make me tear up, thanks for sharing these cool moments you share with the boys
Posted by: Jess | February 19, 2004 01:30 PM
Wil-
I just hope you have not condemned him to not be kissed by a girl until he is 20 and have a future of replica sword collecting.
'Cuz that is lonely and expensive.
Posted by: Ed | February 19, 2004 01:33 PM
Kick Ass Dude. Truly Kick Ass.
Posted by: Wayne Kearns | February 19, 2004 01:38 PM
Wil, I truly hope that the games are everything you want and more. I hope the boys love it like you do. You deserve that and more for how hard you try. Thanks for your site. Helps me start my day at work every day. Thanks for Dancing Barefoot...can't wait for Just a Geek.
Posted by: Jeanine | February 19, 2004 01:46 PM
Whoa. I'm playing D&D tonight for the first time in years and years also. I'm getting chills, especially because I feel like I'll be sharing a special moment with you guys. Be sure to post how it goes ;-)
Posted by: Tony | February 19, 2004 01:48 PM
I hope those kids realize how lucky they are to have you. :)
Posted by: Ana | February 19, 2004 02:08 PM
you have GOT to stop making me cry at work.
Posted by: arifa | February 19, 2004 02:22 PM
I believe very strongly that the measure of the maturity of someone is their ability to not take things too seriously. Your ability to be able to calmly explain that was something that you don't want them to do, rather than exploding speaks very well of you as a person and a parent.
I sympathize with the feeling, knowing the gut reaction of wanting to scream "What do you mean you messed with my dice/computer/first edition Tad Williams hardcovers/mint condition transformers/whatever!?!". The beauty of it is, Nolan and Ryan will absorb that attitude and it will become a part of them.
Have fun with gaming. Rock on!
Posted by: Craig Steffen | February 19, 2004 02:37 PM
And people say step-parents can't be real parents! In many ways, my step-mom feels like more of a "mom" to me than my real mom, even if I'll never feel comfortable calling her by anything other than "Ann".
I wanna be a parent... (But let's wait 'til I'm older than 18, eh?)
Posted by: Nastassja Riemermann | February 19, 2004 02:38 PM
Wil-
So glad to see that you're teaching the little ones to play.....try not to kill there characters.... :-)
So, when is Anne gonna pick it up?
Be sure to let us all know how the game goes!!!
Watch those crits, they can be detrimental to the health of PC's.
Posted by: Trevor | February 19, 2004 02:45 PM
I, Andrea Fangirl, hereby nominate Wil Wheaton for Stepfather of the Year Award.
Since I am the president of this association, as well as the sole member, the commentator, and the treasurer, I will now take the vote.
All in favor of awarding Stepfather of the Year Award to Wil Wheaton, say Aye.
AYE!
By unanimous vote, I, Andrea Fangirl, hereby award you, Wil Wheaton, the Stepfather of the Year Award. Congratulations! You've earned it. To claim your prize, hug your stepsons, and bask in the adoration of them, and your wonderful wife.
Posted by: Andrea Fangirl | February 19, 2004 03:00 PM
Very sweet story. To get to take a childhood pasttime with the new important children in your life is a great great thing.
Just don't kill the entire party in your dungeon, this time, or else someone younger may take your job as DM!
Hah.
Posted by: Pauly D | February 19, 2004 03:01 PM
So what classes are the kiddos playing?
Posted by: Pete | February 19, 2004 03:13 PM
I swear Wil, when you're on, you are REALLY on. This just cracked my heart wide open. Thank you so much.
Ronda
Posted by: Ronda | February 19, 2004 03:18 PM
damn you, Wheaton...::wipes the mascara stains off::
Posted by: Abby | February 19, 2004 03:58 PM
I'm always nervous before every game I run. I realize this is an important personal moment, but be cool; it'll be great. Trust yourself, and thanks for sharing your moment with us.
Posted by: Gmajor | February 19, 2004 04:02 PM
Wil, I really enjoyed reading that entry. So funny and poignant, truly a pleasure to read and re-read. Hopefully in the near future our son will be old enough and keen to play as well. My husband brings it up now and then, is he old enough, what should we play, should we get some of his friends to join in?
As for the dice thing, many of my friends don't like their dice being touched by others, especially by me. But that might be something to do with my 'unlucky' touch. Never will you see as many bad rolls in a single game as you will when I play. When I need to roll high, I roll low. When I need to roll low, I roll high. The briefest of my touches will render other 'lucky' dice 'unlucky' for the remainder of the night. Of course that can work in our favour if the GM is planning some truly heinous events. Bathroom break, and the dice are given for me to touch.
Posted by: Porfyria | February 19, 2004 04:04 PM
Really touching
Posted by: conscious_inertia | February 19, 2004 04:04 PM
*sniff*
Will, that's beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this.
Posted by: Rosemary | February 19, 2004 04:06 PM
Y'know, it's stories like this one that let me know that it's okay to be a Geek Dad! My little guy's only 2, but he already knows Batman, Superman, recognizes the Star Trek and Star Wars theme songs, and it's only just begun.
But regardless of whether you're a geek dad or not, the important thing is spending time and showing your passions to your kids. My dad was a mechanic, and I spent ENDLESS hours in the garage when I was young. Me? I HATE working on cars! But I know how passionate my dad was about them, and to this day I'll treasure the time with him, leaning over the engine of some old Ford. Not because we were doing something I liked . . . but because he loved me enought that he wanted to share what he liked with me.
Thanks, Wil. I really needed that gentle reminder of what a loving father I had.
Posted by: Tim | February 19, 2004 04:46 PM
Wow, thanks for sharing those beautiful moments.
Posted by: Glen Barnett | February 19, 2004 05:06 PM
Wil,
What talent you have to turn a simple roll of the dice into a brilliant piece of literature. If you ever teach your kids to play cards, be sure the deck is sufficiently randomized (as Data would say).
Freeman.
Posted by: Freeman in Louisiana | February 19, 2004 05:18 PM
Thanks for such a great share...it brought tears to my eyes.
Posted by: Crystal | February 19, 2004 05:23 PM
hey wil,
you really do rock! i know i've said it before, but thank you so much for sharing these really special moments with us. it sent a shiver through me, and brought a smile to my face.
Its those moments in life that make it all worthwhile.
take care
Posted by: rach | February 19, 2004 05:24 PM
Wow. You don't know me, and I don't know anything about gaming, but your story touched me.
Posted by: Alyson | February 19, 2004 05:37 PM
Wow. I've been a lurker here for a couple of years now, but one has compelled me to post.
In my early teens I was right into roleplaying, but found it woefully hard to keep my group focused. Though I didn't look at it like this at the time, I see now that being with my friends was far more important than completing my precious story arc. Luckily I didn't push things too hard when attention waned and we'd just stop and pick things up next session. The people from that group are still my closest friends today.
By the sounds of that dice thing roleplaying was a far bigger part of your childhood than it was of mine, and I'm glad that you're getting the chance to share that with the boys Wil.
Posted by: Hughski | February 19, 2004 05:47 PM
Well, even though I'm #69 on the comments, and you probably won't even read this, gotta add my kudos. I don't read you often, although my husband does regularly, but my god...what a beautiful post! My husband is my children's stepfather too and they love him dearly. Good for you!
You know, I couldn't even tell you WERE his step! I found out from the comments; I thought you were his bio dad. :-) You go!
Posted by: Amber | February 19, 2004 05:51 PM
Hey Wil,
you're gonna write the sequel to this and tell us how it turns out, right? and if the boys like it, are you sure Anne will be able to cope? perhaps she'll join in?
reading what you're doing with those guys makes me think about my relationship with my dad....he got me hooked on video games when I was a wee little lass. I was the first kid in my class (5th grade) to have Super Mario Bros. 3! I was the first, mainly because my dad wanted to get his hands on it.
I never played D&D till I started dating a guy about 4 years ago though...and have been playing quite a bit for the last year and a half.
dangit, so many of y'all are just starting to play D&D for the first time in years lately, and here I am, forced to give up on the campaign that has kept my sanity for the last year and a half. I sure hope I can get back to it in about 5 months!
Good job Wil! getting kids of any age to be interested in what you like is a hard thing to do. just don't screw it up! :P
Posted by: Nicci | February 19, 2004 05:57 PM
Great story... It reveals the reason why man learned how to read and write.
Posted by: JC | February 19, 2004 06:04 PM
I'm 32. It was 7th grade, and Keep on the Borderlands.
About a year ago I was GMing for my sister-in-law and her (then) boyfriend. The subject of when we had each started came up, and the boyfriend's response was, "Man, that was before I was born..."
That was the first time I specifically felt old.
(And you still have Car Wars in plain sight? You geek! My copy's in a box next to my desk, with the old Star Frontiers and Battle Tech. The boxed edition of Rune Quest might be the favorite of that stack, though.)
Posted by: Fictionman | February 19, 2004 06:07 PM
I had a very similar moment today, when I realized that I'd been playing d&d for 18 years now.
After relaying the story to my very understanding wife, she replied with "Did you read Wil Wheaton dot net today?"..."no"..."Go read it."
Now I'm all sniffly.
Posted by: Matt | February 19, 2004 07:12 PM
Oh man, I know exactly how you feel about those dice. I still have the original set (d4, d8, d12, d20) that my brother and I used for our first adventure when I was twelve, which was... well longer than 19 years ago. I play & DM rarely these days, but when I do, I still use those dice for the "special" rolls, the oh-my-God-I-might-die rolls.
Good luck with your kids. Just remember that DMing is as much about storytelling as it is about administering the mechanics of the game. In all the good stories, the characters are put in jeopardy, but they manage to pull it off. The trick is making the risk credible. You just have to hurt them enough to make the consequences real, but don't go too far. With new players, it's always best to err on the side of forgiveness. Just don't let them know you're pulling any punches.
Good luck. I just can't wait to do this with my kids.
Posted by: Dan | February 19, 2004 07:25 PM
I'm also looking forward to the day my son is old enough to play RPGs with myself and my husband.
This was a really touching entry.
Posted by: Beth | February 19, 2004 07:33 PM
Gotta go with Ryan. An 11 totally blows.
Never tell me the odds.
Posted by: HWRNMNBSOL | February 19, 2004 07:59 PM
This has got to be one of your best blogs. Perhaps because it reminds me so much of my own "stepdad" (although I really do not like calling him that because he is just plain DAD to me). He is a very patient person, and taught me some cool things as well.
Not to get all cheese-o-rama on you, but I just want you to remember that ANYONE CAN BE A FATHER, BUT IT TAKES A GREAT MAN TO BE A DAD!
Posted by: Lizette | February 19, 2004 07:59 PM
Thanks.
Posted by: Phil | February 19, 2004 08:21 PM
Hey, you never know; the kid might bring luck to the dice.
I'm a big believer in dice and luck. I collect sixes.
Posted by: Mags | February 19, 2004 08:23 PM
Awwww. I know about the "forbidden dice" thing...i, in fact, was in Ryan's position once. Not understanding what it all means.
Its all in good time. Great entry.
Posted by: Caitlin | February 19, 2004 09:23 PM
MOM.....Wheaton made me cry again!
Posted by: CIO | February 19, 2004 10:16 PM
My dad played DnD with me back when I was in elementary school. I remember that it was the G1-2-3 Giants series. He didn't really get the game that I loved. I DM'd and he played a group of characters. We sat at this counter that was the place I ate the majority of my meals in the formative years.
I don't think he even liked doing what he was doing, but he did it for me and never told me it was stupid or wrong or that I should have been playing baseball instead.
It's moments like that which make the word "love" too weak to describe my pride in him.
Posted by: Mark | February 19, 2004 10:42 PM
Ok, Wil, 'fess up -- you were secretly wearing your +4 Mantle of Parental Coolness at the time, weren't you? It's all right, you're among friends, you can tell us....
Nicely done. Hope you and the lads have a splendid game. Cheers.
Posted by: Kemberly | February 19, 2004 10:48 PM
Cool beans :)
My mother never had a husband who stuck around long enough to game with me. I have a six year old, who my wife and I adopted at the age of two. About a month ago, we played *our* first game of D&D ...
Well, it was just a round of combat with D&D miniatures, disregarding most of the rules. But he's six :) I keep my blessed dice under lock and key for when I GM. My son is welcome to use the cursed alternate dice whenever he likes, though.
D
Posted by: Doccus | February 19, 2004 11:22 PM
Dude, get a grip. They're frigging DICE, not your balls. Sorry to sound so crass, but geez. It wasn't like he was going to flush them. My dad taught my sister how to play chess and gave his prized chess set (that he'd saved up for for over a year when he was a kid) to her because it meant so much to him that he wanted to share it with her. But it sounds like he took it well.
Posted by: Brian | February 19, 2004 11:28 PM
Wil, thank you so much. What a fabulous post. You are a hell of a dad.
I've always wanted to play D&D but never have. I think I'm going to have to talk a friend into teaching me. 37 isn't too late to learn, is it?
Posted by: Carol | February 20, 2004 12:56 AM
Wil, that is hella awesome. I hope you guys got to play until you saw the sun come up, the snacks and pop were all gone, every last monster was vanquished, and all XP and loot was awarded (just hope the boys don't spend it all on ale and whores ;) )!
Posted by: Wolf | February 20, 2004 01:12 AM
~Delurks~
Dittos, dittos, dittos.
I'm going to send this to the woman I want to marry, so that she understands why I want to adopt her kid; it's good that you didn't wind up being the evil stepdad (crosses fingers).
Posted by: Max Bell | February 20, 2004 01:31 AM
that's the most touching thing i've ever read in a blog ever. also, you rock.
Posted by: codespace | February 20, 2004 02:19 AM
That is so touching! You had all of us at #MxO welling up!
Posted by: Rykan | February 20, 2004 02:44 AM
thanks for sharing that...it reminded me of my once upon a time youthful perspective...sometimes real life is more magical than all the dreams you could ever dream.
Posted by: d. burr | February 20, 2004 03:12 AM
Tears.... I got tears.
Wil Wheaton, I am so proud of you. You have grown so much in the past year.
So have I, from watching you.
Posted by: Corky | February 20, 2004 03:52 AM
I am so very envious of you right now, Wil. The love you share with your step-sons is truely moving, and when you add to that a true milestone on the road to geekdom it creates an emotoinal moment that rivals any literary work I can think of. Please make a follow up entry and let us know how their first sesion went.
X&
Posted by: X& | February 20, 2004 03:57 AM
Wil, I'm glad I discovered your site. I check it often and am always delighted when there is a new post.
At the tender age of 22, I haven't even imagined what it would be like to have a child. But I hope when I do I will not only share some the same emotions, but perhaps be able to write about it half as eloquently as you.
Posted by: Theresa | February 20, 2004 04:51 AM
Get off your duff and go out and buy those kids each a set of dice right now. They may not take up gaming, but it's a unique gift from you that's about this time you spend together. Shame on you for scolding Ryan, but kudos for being patient with him.
Go....Go now..make sure they a nice set..
Posted by: Johnmac | February 20, 2004 05:13 AM
Isle of Dread? Oh man, now I feel old! I must have been 11 when I played that for the first time.
Thanks for the blast from the past, Wil. :)
Posted by: Keith Cronin | February 20, 2004 05:40 AM
Good stuff...I hope I can do as well as a parent. On a side note, I never played RPG's, so can you explain why you become so attached to dice? I was more of a sports guy and can't remember any sport stuff taking on such significance
Posted by: Rob | February 20, 2004 05:48 AM
Beautiful. Just plain beautiful.
Have a good time with the game.
Posted by: K. David Ladage | February 20, 2004 06:12 AM
Rock on! You're never too old, or too young! ;D
That was a great story... I hope you have many more memories like that!
Posted by: Noah Chinn | February 20, 2004 06:21 AM
That was a marvelous read. Thanks for sharing it.
Posted by: Shannon S | February 20, 2004 06:24 AM
Good job! You've laid the groundwork. Now for a whopping 5d12 geek points, you need to get them dice of their very own.
Then they'll understand. The geekdom will be complete.
Posted by: Reimero | February 20, 2004 06:30 AM
Wow, you don't always let us comment on the ubergeeky stuff. (I mean being a player itself only slightly geeky, a trip into the imagination, you know; but there's so much detail involved in running a game!Which rules to use versus imagination fillingin the blanks, etc.)
Anyhow, thanks for sharing both the gaming experience and the family experience with us. I think you'll have fun role-playing the stranger NPCs with different voices and body language and stuff. Its often the descriptive environment and the weird people, as much as the puzzles involved in fantasy roleplaying gaming that kept me engaged as a player, and kept my players engaged when I took up running scenarios and games.
Posted by: Rachel Kadushin | February 20, 2004 06:32 AM
So, I've never made a response before, but have wanted to many times. This was the one I couldn't resist.
This was beautiful, and thank you for sharing it. I've got several gamer dads who need to read it.
I wonder if, at your game, it might be nice to give the kids reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally cool dice of their own - but just one each, to start them off. I bet they would love that, and it would give them a "treasure" to keep. All D&Der's love treasure.
Thanks so much, Wil.
Posted by: Laura | February 20, 2004 06:34 AM
He he, you're a geek. But it's cool. Geek on buddy. There aren't enough of us in the world.
Posted by: Kones | February 20, 2004 06:58 AM
I have a set of red dice from the old D&D Basic Set. They're so old that the corners are rounded and the numbers are starting to decay (the 6 is really 5.99995, the 3 is almost a 2, and the 1 is now the square root of -1; so whenever I role a 1, the die ceases to exist for moment).
I love them very very much. I can't say why, but I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Posted by: Lapsed Cannibal | February 20, 2004 07:09 AM
wow dude,
thats horribly geeky, but touching and way cool at the same time.
I still have my dice bag from when I was a kid.
Posted by: Rembrandt | February 20, 2004 07:09 AM
you are such a sweetheart:) anne, ryan and nolan are damn lucky
Posted by: lauren | February 20, 2004 08:29 AM
Your post made me smile and really made my day! It sounds like you have such a great family and I'm so glad you've found something you and the boys can share together that's all your own. They sound like great kids and (I was going to say they're lucky to have you, but really I think you're all lucky to have each other.)
Posted by: Michele | February 20, 2004 08:41 AM
Good Luck to you, DMing for the first time is not an easy thing to do. Main thing is you and your friends enjoy playing.
Helpful hint in being a DM from my point of view is to use a screen to hide your dice rolls, means you can fluff it easier if you feel someone is getting really bad luck and you don't want to kill them :)
Only thing i'm sad about is I gave away my tub of D6's that I used to play Tunnels and Trolls years ago. (amend that, many years ago :) )
Posted by: Mark | February 20, 2004 08:44 AM
At least I can blame my sniffles on my cold...
This was a beautiful piece. All the more poignant for me because I lost my father 34 years ago this year (damn, I'm old...). I can remember playing all the traditional games with him and the rest of the family, and even though I usually got skunked, I still enjoyed playing. One of my favorite memories is playing Pokeno (it's kind of a combination of poker and Bingo), and totally wiping everyone out at the tender age of 7. (We only played for pennies, so no, I didn't make my first million that night!)
Never was able to get someone to show me D&D (I was so geeky even the geeks ignored me), and sometimes wonder if it's too late to try. Anyone want to tackle teaching an almost 45 year old how not to get killed in 10 easy lessons?
Wil, you totally rock. If I ever adopted any kids (highly unlikely at this stage of the game), I hope I could be half as cool as you. I'm sure Anne knows how lucky she is...but why don't you go remind her, just in case??? ;)
Posted by: Roberta | February 20, 2004 09:09 AM
Hey, Wil. This is a little bit off-topic. Sorry.
I just noticed that In these days of "anyone-saying-anything-bad-about-Bush-or-the-war-is-unpatriotic" (which I find to be complete and utter BS) It seems that PABAAH.com has put you on some sort of fruity boycott list.
What a sad and miserable world we live in...
Posted by: Corey | February 20, 2004 09:15 AM
Wil, as a parent and writer and (yes) someone who railed at Wesley Crusher years ago, I have to say that this is one damn fine piece and I'm sorry about that railing against Wesley stuff.
Nice job and thanks.
Posted by: Farlane | February 20, 2004 09:45 AM
That was sweet.
Just make sure they go outside now and then so they know how to walk on dirt.
RE what Sean O'Hara said: Yeah, it's really kind of eerie, how mainstream RPGs have become. When I started gaming in the late 70s, I'm pretty sure I was the *only person* in my entire high school who knew what this stuff was.
Trying to explain it . . . man, it was like having an 11th toe; you're better off keeping your shoes on.
Although, thinking back, I remember introducing a few people to MELEE* as a senior.
Stefan
* Proto-GURPS combat system.
Posted by: Stefan Jones | February 20, 2004 10:17 AM
Ahhh, their first trek through a dungeon. I remember my first game, though I wasn't plowing through a dungeon. I was crossing a vast plain, fighting wights and other interesting critters, on my way from one town to the other to get information and gather a party for the quest.
This is totally awesome, Wil. You guys are going to have such a blast. The passing of geekery such as this is a beautiful thing. The bond you share with Ryan and Nolan is amazing, and deserves to be recognized. Though I'm not a stepfather myself, I understand how tough a situation that can be. But you've conquered it well. In fact, VERY well. Anne is lucky to have a guy like you who can bond with her kids.
Go easy on them, though, man. If this is your first time GMing in (undisclosed) years, resisting the power trip is going to be a challange. Funny-ha-ha power trips aside, you guys are going to have a great time.
Good luck, boys! And welcome to the world of REAL RPGs!
Posted by: Eric | February 20, 2004 10:31 AM
Let me just join in the rest of horde here in praising you for "breath of life". Great stuff.
But doesn't Nolan read your site from time to time? If he reads that one, he'll know you intend to give him those dice.
Worth it though... great stuff.
\m/
Posted by: Mark | February 20, 2004 10:31 AM
Wow! Awesome, man!
You'll do fine just get in the groove.
My only bit of advice is not to let your story get in the way of their creativity. And when in doubt...punt!
Have lots of fun!
Posted by: Scott | February 20, 2004 10:53 AM
Both my fiancee and I are gamers - and I broke my then 5-year-old daughter into RPGs with Baron von Munchhausen, which is mostly storytelling and uses rock-paper-scissors for conflict resolution.
She's looking with greater interest at dice now that Dad and Mom and a couple of friends are playing HeroQuest...she thinks Sedenya looks cool.
Maybe we'll have to have Dad run us through a low-key dungeon crawl soon. She's 7 now, so that's old enough, and it's been a long while for us too.
Anyhoo...yeah. I get it.
Posted by: Julie | February 20, 2004 11:03 AM
Wil,
Being a stepdad is one of the hardest jobs around, especially when you have The Ex actively trying to subvert your relationship with the kid(s). It's great that you're finding something you can share with them that he can't upstage or take away. We only have my stepdaughter alternating weekends, which makes it even harder to build a good relationship.
What's even harder is if & when you have kids of your own. It's a constant struggle to treat them all the same and not play favorites. But it's worth it. If you & Anne ever hatch out one of your own, you'll know. I thought being a stepdad would have totally prepared me for being a father, but it really is different on a deep-down emotional level.
Posted by: Tassach | February 20, 2004 11:07 AM
Very cool Wil! I started gaming in 9th grade and have now been a DM for over 25 years (not much recently :^( Regarding killing your entire first party quickly: remember, keeping the game going by fudging die rolls and what-not is not cheating. It's an important component of being a good DM. Any idiot can roll dice and blindly follow rules. The good ones concentrate on the story that is evolving.
Posted by: Elric | February 20, 2004 11:29 AM
Welcome back to the GM's guild. You might find this useful: http://roleplayingtips.com
Posted by: Matthew | February 20, 2004 11:37 AM
If that isn't the beginning of a great D&D meets The Princess Bride type of story I don't know what is. It's a little difficult to picture Peter Falk as you, but it sounds like you're going to have a blast. Since I'm posting this on the 20th hopefully you already did. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Joe Abboreno | February 20, 2004 11:56 AM
Will, Will,Will... you are such an amazing guy! No really, what you write is so personal and touching, you are a true inspiration to us all in every way. I've been writing a diary since i was nine- okay i'm only 16 now but i've filled 15 in that time. i've been globe trotting because of my Dad's work i have always felt a constant fear of forgetting the major and minor things that have happened to me, and just the things that have made me smile on a specific day- i'm sure you know exactly what i mean as you have just demonstrated that exact thing. Sigh... Ann is such a lucky woman as are Ryan and Nolan - as are we really. Just make sure you don't stop writing on the site and i'll make sure your fan club will grow over here in bonny Scotland!!!! Although (in the words of Vern Tessio) - "there's one thing i don't understand" what's wrong with Corey Feldman?!!!! JennX
Posted by: jenn | February 20, 2004 12:51 PM
Amazing Wil. What a beautiful moment in life. One question: What version of D&D are you playing?
Posted by: Joe C. |