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intastella burst


I was out late last night, recording a commentary track for the upcoming DVD release of The Good Things, so I slept in until almost 8:45 this morning, when Riley exploded into my bedroom and onto my bed. Bad dog, but so cute and friendly. Or something.

The kids had already gone to school. I made oatmeal, and ate it at the dining room table. Anne sat across from me and sipped a cup of coffee.

"The kids are gone for three days," I said. "Can I have you all to myself until they get back?"

"Of course," she said.

"I'd like to start out the weekend by having a date tonight with my wife. Will you go on a date with me?"

"Sure," she said. "What did you have in mind?"

"I dunno . . . maybe we can go out to dinner and see a movie?"

"Good job, Romeo. Way to bring out the 'A' material. Bravo." Clap. Clap. Ah, the inner critic. I love him.

"I have a better idea," she said.

"Oh yeah? What?"

"How about . . . we stay home . . ."

In the distance, I heard music: wakka wakka wakka chikka bow wow wakka wakka chikka wakka

She smiled. "How about we order some food . . ."

" . . . that sounds good . . ." I said. wakka chikka wakka

She took a surprisingly sexy drink of her coffee. " . . . and we can make a fire in the fireplace . . . "

" . . . getting better . . . " chikka bow chikka chikka bow wow

She put her cup down, and leaned on her elbows. " . . . and we can stay up late . . ."

" . . . go on . . ." I said. chikka chikka chikka bow wow wow wow

She leaned across the table, close to me. " . . . and watch Family Guy on DVD . . . All. Night. Long."

"You are so fuckin' rad, baby. You rip." I said.

She smiled, and kissed the tip of my nose.

wakka wakka wakka chikka bow wow wakka wakka chikka wakka bow wow wakka wakka chikka bow chikka bow chikka bow

Comments

All together now:

Awwwwwwww!!!

Nice build up,Wil. I thought I'd finally read some actual naughty dialogue between you and the missus. Spending a whole night watching the Family Guy on DVD. Man,you are one lucky bastard.

Is that what they're calling it now in California? They're always so on the cutting edge. :-)

"what about when god told abraham to kill isaac?"

(probably one of two times i've dropped and rolled about the floor laughing)

may it be as good for you :D

~A

Too sweet. Enjoy :)

Bwahahahahahahaha! I laughed my ass off! bow wow chika chika! Love IT!

Too funny. I'm trying not to make too many screechy laughing sounds here at work.

You crack me up. :-)

(Longtime lurker; first time commenter. Not sure why this post is the one that made me finally pipe up and say something...)

Oh my! That is just too adorable! I'm jealous of both of you. ;)

Too sweet...aww...

Dude

Your wife rocks. And I'm not talking about "oh cool sombebody ordered pizza" rocks. Oh no..

I'm talking about "HOLY SHIT! PETER JACKSON MAILED ME AN ADVANCE COPY OF THE EXTENDED CUT OF RETURN OF THE KING TODAY" rocks.

And man...that rocks.

Sean

effing. awesome.

This was too funny. I would probably have the same internal Bow chicka bow wows in my head. You and your wife rock! Hehe "Family Guy"... what would Peter do in this situation?

wil! be warned! I think this family guy thing is just a ruse. she's just playing it cool so she can get you in the sack.

The hubby and I have not had a weekend without the kids since *ahem* last JUNE... ya, the meetup..

I so envy you right now. I hope you two have a blast just being together doing things you love to do and perhaps some of that chikka bow wow chikka. ;)

Neph

Very Funny. -smiles- I love how life just does the unexpected from time to time.

Okay, if there was a definition in the dictionary for Unsucky Life, it would say Wil Wheaton and have a picture of you next to it.

Rock on!

Wesley gettin' his groove on . . .

Dating your spouse totally rocks, doesn't it?

She had you going didn't she uncle wilie? You two are soo funny. If I was in your position I would be singin wakka wakka chikka wakka bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay. Take care Wil.

I'm shocked, shocked and outraged, that such a theme would emerge from a family oriented venue such as an Internet blog. I'm going to sue because this has hurt me emotionally. Check thesmokinggun next week and you'll see. Meg in Family Guy is hot, despite her nasally voice and incredibly bad choice of a husband. I can see how a DVD of F.G. would get you two kids all riled up and randy, but please don't shock us anymore with these disgusting peeks into your personal life unless you are prepared to hand out big bucks in compensation for our mental anguish. (I'm assuming everyone will want to join me in this and we'll make it a class action suit.) Tell you what, Wil, you naughty, naughty man/boy. Just order up another printing of your book - enough copies to cover anybody who's offended - and make them freely available to us - and we'll drop the lawsuit. Gawd, I am SO funny. Being a victim is COOL!

That is teh sexay.
Family Guy is teh roxx0r.

Or whatever it is the kids say these days.

Wil, you, my friend, are a lucky... LUCKY man.

Wow, what a stud. You know, you just keep doing things right, Wil. Maybe it's because you never blog about the totally dumb, male driven, selfish shit all us guys do, or maybe you are truly an Uberman. I don't know. It really seems like you have all of your shit together, and are now totally ready for the "Next Big Thing". Maybe it's because you aren't so fully focused on stardom (like us other Former Child Stars). Life is what happens while we are busy making other plans. You seem to have learned a bit about this whole life, family, home, relationship thing. I admire you, Wil. Not only have you been a good friend to me, but you seem to hold that same standard up for all of the other carbon based life units around you. Kudos.

-K

Whaddaya mean, surprisingly sexy? Your wife'd be sexy scrubbing the toilet... and that's coming from a woman.

Anyways, that story has the definite Awwwwww factor. You guys are too sweet for words. Thanks for bringing my Friday to such a sweet end. :)

Family guy rocks. I am totally addicted to it.

Wil, it's so great to know that you and Anne still have romance in your relationship. :^) The stay-at-home dates are usually the best (no one has to drive!). Best of all is that you can snuggle and get all kissy without offending anyone -- and you can replay the part of the movie that you missed because you got distracted. ;^)

Have a nice weekend everyone!

P.S.
YEAH! Family Guy rocks!

Gordie shoots.....

He SCORES!! Have a great one, Wil. Be sure to stretch first.

I would love to know what Kind of dog Riley is. My dog Riley is a maltese, and he is the cutest ever. Sounds like you are going to have a great weekend. You go tiger

Uncle Willie, you're my Hero!!!! There is nothing I enjoy seeing more then two people in love.

I laughed so loud, I snorted my milk through my nose. You and Ann, could put Nick and Jessica outta business. That's it, what a great Idea, "Uncle Willie, and family" the new reality show for Tech TV.

OK, I'm totally outed as an idiot now. I meant LOIS not MEG. And I can't even name all the voice talent actors' names!

I have no brain.

And yes, I'm still suffering the trauma of reading about Wil's sordid weekend plans. The horror, the outrage of it all....

You guys are too cute!

you inspire me wil!

Very kool post... I love Family Guy also... She sounds a great wife...

That has to be the single funniest thing I've read all week. Fantastic bad-mood-cancellation material.

*CACKLE*

Ah, Unca Willy, you crack me up.

*goes off humming 70s porn music*

Ok I say watch some Family Guy, and then get a little nookie, then watch some more family guy, haha. I just had a rockin day with my man at the Portland car show! I never thought spending so much time with so many vehicles and my man would actually turn out to be a cool day. It rocked! I hope your night turns out as good as my day went! Have fun A & W!!

I find your blog a breath of fresh air. Enjoy your Family Guy aka "wakka chikka bow wow wakka". lol

That.... just rocked like an avalance!

Can't wait till my future wife does that with me!

Wil, you have an uncanny ability for porn music.

I think that's a compliment.

Which Family Guy volume? I or II? Ahh, decisions, decisions...

My favorite scene is where Peter tries to breastfeed Stewie. *Shudder*

ROFL,

The build up to that was perfect. And actually when you started with the porn music, I was actually already thinking of Stewie doing his porn music impression. Mmmmm... can't wait for more family guy.

Family Guy! Whoo! Hell yeah! :D

I don't know Wil. I think you're mistaking The Family Guy for some old porn flick you saw on the internet. I know I would.

Oh, and enjoy the [wink] peaceful interlude [/wink] while it lasts.

One last thing, if I may steal (and corrupt) a line from Bill Murray during his SNL days: Wil, you horny slut.

You know Wil, you often post that you wonder what she ever saw in you. I think we all just figured it out...

She just saw her own inner geek reflected in you - she may deny it, but it's there...and that's a great thing to know. That makes you one hell of a lucky guy. Enjoy the shows!

Wil,
You go ahead and bow-wow. It seems like you have a cool wife. It seems that you know it too.

FG

Dear Wily,
I have loved you ever since you got blown to pieces in Toy Soldiers, and when you were a vulcan, or whatever it is you were, well GOD, how much hotter could you get? Not very! Please run away with, we can make Wil Wheaton Jr. babies under the Tahitian moon.
Yours Eternally,

hahaha

I was actually thinking "no way would he write about Anne being all kinky and stuff..." then as i read further i thought .."well...uh.."

I laughed. Thanks Wil :)

Oh man... that was fuckin' great, Wil. :D

Bravo. I can almost see this; it'd make for a great scene in a movie, a nice burst of giddy laughter before the main event: destroying the evil Berman Empire with a can of Whoop-Ass, a starship-sized stash of photon torpedoes... and a smile.

" I said. chikka chikka chikka bow wow wow wow"

Sounds like you been hangin' around the dogs too much lately. You're picking up their lingo! Probably why you ended up watching Family guy all night, instead of doing the chikka chikka bow wow!

Just kidding.

What a miserable life you have. I feel soooo bad for you. ;)

I gotta say, I am really impressed with the fact you turned out to be such a down to earth guy.
Being on a hit series hasn't ruined you. I really admire that.

Keep up the good work. You write very well.

In my best Quagmire impression...

"...maybe you and the wifie will do the old hualluallualll!!..!!"

[nudge, wink, chuckle]

:D Bow chikka bow, bowwwww ... ah that was great! I think we should begin calling you Wil "The Thrill" Wheaton ;)

Have Fun!!!

The Family guy?? YOu guys are some kinky freaks :)

Jason

Family Guy is hysterical, we (my husband and I) downloaded all of them and I keep them on a DVD.

who said you two have lost that lovin feelin' :)

must be something in the air thought, I went out for the first date in 3 months with my husband last night, bowl'd a fabulous score of 85, it was our best date ever.

The best quote ever uttered by a cartoon character came from Family Guy

"If I'm gonna pull a birthday cake outta my ass, I better stand up"

words to live by...

Sounds like you two are going to have an awesome night!

"wakka wakka wakka chikka bow wow wakka wakka chikka wakka"

That's the best music ever!!!

She had you going good. GOOD Going Annie!!!

Aha, I hear the improv in you. Slight regional differences, though ... here in Colorado my improv buds use wacka wow wacka wow (with appropriate gestures) for the music. Sounds like a great night, though I'm not The Family Guy fan you are. Still, no night on the town compares to the amazingness of staying in with the right person. Always glad to hear of somebody having that!

I have this Ron Jeremy p0rn0s0nic music that a friend sent me, and whilst reading your post, and seeing the bow wow chika wakka bow's, i started laughing, so.. out came one of those mp3's and i re-read your post with the music on and laugh my ass off.

Classic stuff :)

Kids gone for the three days? Sounds like a blessing......

All your blogs are belong to us!

there are many names for it...in many languages...but that is the first time i have heard it referred to as "watch family guy all night long on DVD".

HA! That's awesome that you guys are as normal and dorky as the rest of us.

Is it me, or does the theme from the class TV series "Sanford and Son" sound like something cut from a porno soundtrack?

Hi Wil, I'm from Brazil and your fan! I'm

sorry...I don't speak english very well:-/


Please answer this message.

Bye...= )

hahahha... that is the best... so was the trip to starbucks... haha keep it coming

What the hell song is that? I have been looking for it for ages.

First of all, G-d never commanded Abraham to "kill" Isaac; He commanded him to "bind" Isaac to an alter. Abraham interpreted the command as a command to sacrifice his son, which was a logical conclusion, except that G-d was very careful with His language. Any interested parties can read it in Genesis 22 (I think, or is it 24?) or, for anyone familiar with portion names, at the end of Vayera.

On a different note, I will never cease to be amazed by the euphamisms that people will devise for certain things. Now it is certainly possible that the Wheatons will simply be watching FG episodes all night, but I have a feeling that what will really happen will be more similar to the Yar-Data encounter in "The Naked Now".

Hey wil!! Nice one! ;) Yeah I love my g/f cause she likes to sit and play video games with me and all that cool stuff that every guy wants in a woman. You and Ann are made for each other! Family Guy rules and you're the man! Now all we need is a ST comeback with Captain Wesley Crusher and my life would be complete!

peace, love and pda! woot!

-josh

I think one of the best episodes EVER of Family Guy is the second disk of the first box set. It's the one where Peter goes to that Sexual Harrasment class. The one with the Murphy Brown lady. Some favorite moments include... Peter breast feeding Stewie... N-Word Jim... and the Stewie cooking lines... "If you cooked any slower... well, you wouldn't be cooking very fast now would you?" Hahaha!!! "If you cooked any slower... you wouldn't need an egg timer, you'd need an egg calender!!! Oh that's right, I went THERE!"

GREAT TV I SAY!!!

And I've always been a BIG fan of the money in Chris' bed room!!! I love when he looks at him and he points at him with that look. HAHAHA!!!!!!!

And who can forget the Quagmire line when he discovers the cheerleader in the bathroom in the second box set.... "Dear Diary....JACKPOT!!!"

CLASSIC!!!

Annnnnnnyway....I think I've proven quite well I'm a dork.

Whooooooooah, I am going to send this to the love of my life at work and tell her I have a surprise for her when she gets home. I know we will be rocking tonight. Thanks for the idea! I can feel the back pain now...no pain ...no gain.

Classic!!!

Back to save the universe.

I wanted to comment on the part I liked best. The title. I love the song. I often sing parts to myself, so when I read the title, I knew it right away. I don't know the connection to what you wrote, but still, it somehow added to the fun. I guess it's that I-am-not-the-only-oddball-out-there kind of feeling. Also, the video of him singing live and the facial expressions and head rocking during that part is somehow so cool.

It's a touch choice to pick a favorite but I like the mellow ones the most, 1, 3, 4, and the last two.

Take care.

*shakes booty in club dancing, grinding fashion* Can I get a what what? *shakes head to the words she doesn't understand* Can I get a whoop whoop!? *holds one hand out and slaps invisible tush with other* Now baby bounce with me, bounce with me.

Your wife is SO COOL.

....BEST. DATE. EVER.

I am soooooooooooooooooo very envious of you right now.

Okay, fine, Anne can have the "Coolest Wife to a Geek" award, but I still claim the "Coolest Live-in Girlfriend to a Geek" award. Why do I say that, you might ask? Because I was about to comment on the coolness of your wife when I was distracted by the arrival of my man's D&D group. For the regular weekly game. In my home. In my living room. The game for which I prepared and provided the popcorn, tea and decaf coffee. And tidied the living room. And did all dishes and cleaned up the kitchen.

Oh yeah, and this was for the game that I don't, um, actually play in...

So I myself am not a Geek. Really, I'm not! However, in the last year I've somehow become, well, a Geek Facilitator(TM)... Geeks seem to converge upon our home, and since most of them can't actually function on their own, I seem to end up hostessing and mothering and seeing that they actually get fed and watered once in a while!

So Anne still has the "Coolest Wife to a Geek" award, but I'll be giving her some stiff competition after next July!

Michelle

Let's see...8:05 Pacific time..February 8, 2004...

...and no blog updates.

Yup, Wil and Anne are having a great weekend...

Enjoy...and not too many gory details, for those of us still in the connubial-bliss desert...

I've got to admit, that one had me going right up to the Family Guy line. You are a true wordsmith!

Now off to listen to "Play that Funky Music" which is the closest I got in collection to porn funk.

Ahhh... You just gotta love the sound of that wah-wah guitar ;)

Damn funny stuff! You are one lucky guy too. I'm lucky to make it through one whole episode but my hubby loves the show. Still...I hope you get some of that good fireplace lovin' after the toons.

Woo-hoo! What a way to spend three days alone with the missus!

Somehow, I can picture doing the same with my boyfriend (if we silly kids get married) someday... We're so freakin' like that too! Muhahahahaha...

You're my hero.

So, you use titles from Radiohead songs.....for blog entry titles??? for shame Wesley.

Fats

I've somehow become, well, a Geek Facilitator(TM)

I believe the term you're looking for is "enabler". ;-)

Any woman who could selflessly embrace your inner nerd like that, is a keeper.

Hope you had a great weekend with your wife!

By the way, I'm just curious why we have to enter a code number prior to each post.

LMAO

You and your wife have my ideal relationship (esp. the Family Guy DVD-watching part). :)

Stinky usually hangs out at the starbucks on Colorado. If you ever have the misfortune of being dragged into a conversation with him about those bastards in the bluehouse, ask him to do his yogi bear impression, it's priceless! He'll usually follow it up with a honka honka, stealing my blood speel! Scary, but it adds a little color to Pas, if you can bare the smell. Wasted Talent and Let's All Go To The Hop are capital episodes! You should be so fortunate to have a female companion that watches them and more finds them entertaining, treasure it!

Also check out Harvey Birdman attorney at Law, it's priceless! This show gives you a chance to see Shaggy get busted!

thanks for makin' me smile Wil. I really have to make it a habit of coming to your site. I enjoy it.

Thanks.

Will is really an awesome writer.

Am I too sad or what...

This could have been what my wife says to me when the house is empty. Except we'd watch simpsons or stargate or something Don't have the famguy collection =(.

Either that or let's go get #@$#'ed up together. AKA "let's go out".

Mine bought me LEGOs for a valentine's day before we were married. Not a lame kit, but a TUB!!! Top that ;-) Err, apparently your wife rocks *enough*.

that was exactly what i needed after the day i had... i was laughing. i wish my students could go with your kids so i can get a break for a few days. ^_^ well, one of my students in particular. *teachers a class of 11 three year old students*

You gotta love it when women fully embrace The Family Guy or video games. Woo hoo!

Wil, that's possibly one of the funniest blog entries you've ever written.

I'm so jealous! Enjoy Wil!

Eerie. I didn't think anybody else used Family Guy marathons as a replacement for normal mating rituals with their spouse. So, do you also have Futurama season one and two, King of the Hill, and Simpsons seasons one, two, and three? Because if you do, I'd feel that the coincidence factor would reach record levels of creepiness.

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