lying in odessa - part one
A couple of weeks ago, I played in a no-limit hold-em tournament.
There were sixteen players at two tables. It was a freezeout, with the top three finishers taking home money. I had never played in a real money tournament before, and this was my first chance to test out the teachings of Doyle Brunson, Mike Caro, David Sklansky, and Lee Jones that I've spent so many hours studying.
The club is on the eastern edge of Hollywood, in a pretty seedy area where the cops are too busy busting crackheads to bother a poker game. To get in, you walk down an alley, and knock on the door with the big red bar painted horizontally across the middle. Most of the people who play here are in the entertainment industry, so it's appropriate that it's something out of a movie.
I show the doorman a business card with the club's address written on the back, and he lets me in. I'm here to play in a no-limit hold-em tournament. It's the first time I've ever played in an illegal game. It's the first time I've played outside of a friendly home game. It's the first time I've ever played for money.
I buy in, get 600 in tournament chips, and my table assignment: I'm seat six at table two. We don't start for about ten minutes, so I get a bitters and soda from the bar, and try to act like I belong here.
"You play poker, right?" my friend said to me a few weeks earlier, as we waited for the subway.
"Yeah. You have a game?" I said. I've been looking for something similar to The Tuesday Night Game ever since I read Big Deal.
"Sort of. You ever heard of the Odessa Room?"
I shook my head. "I'm spectacularly uncool, Shane, and I live in suburbia. What's the Odessa Room?"
"It's an honest-to-goodness speakeasy in Hollywood. Twice a month they have poker tournaments."
"What are the stakes?"
"You can afford it. Why don't you come with me next Wednesday?"
"Because I'm not good enough to play for money."
"You ever played for money?"
"No."
"Then how do you know?"
"I appreciate the invite, but my wife would kill me if I played cards for money."
He took out his business card, and wrote down the address.
"Think about it. If you change your mind, I'll see you there. Show this card at the door."
With a blast of warm, humid air, the Wilshire / Western train pulled into the station. Shane got into the car.
"Of course, if you'd rather, you can just give me 100 bucks and cut out the formality of playing." He said as the doors closed.
I laughed and flipped him the bird. He gave it back as the train pulled away.
I turned his card over in my hand. His office at Walt Disney Studios on one side, the address to an illegal poker game on the other.
Sometimes, I love this town.
The Odessa is really just a bar, and its illegal nature means its unknown owners have forgone the interior decorating that would make it truly cinematic; the only thing of real value is a sound system that rivals any Sunset Strip night club. Three well-worn area rugs cover most of the cold cement floor. The indirect lighting is provided by those halogen uplights that were popular in the 80s. Twelve of them line one wall, and create a pretty good mood. Large cathedral-like candles sit in sconces that are nailed to the other walls. There are several enormous Samoan bouncers watching over all of us.
Everything is portable, including the bar. When I lean against it, it rolls back a few inches.
"Watch it," the bartender says. His tone tells me that this happens all the time . . . when fuckin' new guys like me show up.
"Sorry."
I swallow hard. I think about leaving, but my money is already spent. Better not lose my nerve now. For the first time since I decided to come here, I wonder if the club's name has anything to do with the Russian mafia. Then I wonder how many of these Samoan guys have guns. What am I doing here? And where the hell is Shane?
Comments
OK, not fair! Finish the story!
Posted by: Liz | February 26, 2004 02:57 PM
I'm with Liz! You're teasing us. Mean! :)
'Nea
Posted by: Aenea | February 26, 2004 02:58 PM
you're so shady wil... i'd hate to meet you in a dark alley. finish the story ;)
Posted by: Chris | February 26, 2004 03:00 PM
And!!!!!
Posted by: Mark | February 26, 2004 03:04 PM
The only thing I can say is COOL!
Posted by: Kiruna Guy | February 26, 2004 03:09 PM
We want you in the next Celebrity Poker tournament, Wil. Know when to fold'em :)
Posted by: Silmarillion | February 26, 2004 03:13 PM
3 words:
Com. E. Dy.
Posted by: buntz | February 26, 2004 03:14 PM
Sometimes the very best writing and stories are those that are unfinished. This is a really nice piece Wil, kudos to you on a job well done.
Posted by: sfo | February 26, 2004 03:15 PM
Awesome. At my friends house, the first friday of every month, there is a poker tournament. Usually around a dozen guys or so at one table. We each put in 5 bucks and then play torunament style, winner takes all. It's really fun, and there's a couple guys that show up that are semi-pro that teach us all how to play. Some of the most fun I've ever has been at that table. Getting beaten in heads up holding pocket kings, getting a 4 of a kind on the river, going all in, and then losing to a straight flush is a BEATING. Also, finish the damn story...now.
Posted by: Dave | February 26, 2004 03:17 PM
Yeah, where the hell IS Shane?!
Excellent story...I'll be tuning in for the next installment of "The Adventures of Wil at the Poker Table"...
Posted by: moonkiss | February 26, 2004 03:19 PM
DAMNIT!
Posted by: angela | February 26, 2004 03:23 PM
Blog-tease.
Posted by: Kat | February 26, 2004 03:25 PM
C'MON!! FINISH THE STORY!!
Posted by: Tommy | February 26, 2004 03:35 PM
Just remember there is only one password.
/stoopid movie reference
Posted by: Steve | February 26, 2004 03:36 PM
Nah. Samoans don't need guns. They just tear you in half, then tie the pieces in knots.
It's best not to have to learn this the hard way unless it's absolutely necessary.
Posted by: Alwin | February 26, 2004 03:38 PM
So, all that poker playing on the Enterprise was for real. Come on, Wil, tell us some stories about playing poker on the set.
Posted by: synchronicity | February 26, 2004 03:44 PM
Up until a few months ago, I personally didn't pay much attention to the Casino-scene... I enjoyed quite a few late night games of Spades and Hearts back in my college-dorm days, but between pen & paper RPGs, the XBox, and an occasionally worthy PC-title, I don't have the need to find more hobbies.
What changed?
Well, I got laid off after successfully completing an XBox game--Yes, that's right, laid off after finishing the project on-time and on-budget, gotta love the game industry. I ended up landing a gig at Sierra Entertainment, or as the suits love to say these days Vivendi Universal Games Northwest. A few business cards and games still have the Sierra logo, but for all intensive purposes the great gaming company of elder days is long dead and I now work in its husk. What's more, I'm now working on the next generation of the Hoyle Casino product. I'm now steeped in the games of Vegas, the obsession over the World Poker Tour, and discovered that Roulette must be French for 'lose money fast'.
Fascinating.
Personally I'm not clear on why games of chance are illegal, but most every state in the union has a lottery. I would think that a state that has so much more money than sense like California would have casinos everywhere... Heck, getting married in Hollywood seems like a gamble whether your straight or gay!
Posted by: Chuck | February 26, 2004 03:44 PM
My level of respect for has reached an all time high. I don't have the guts to play poker for money even when it is legal.
Posted by: Edward | February 26, 2004 03:55 PM
What made this place "illegal"? Poker is legal in California (and many other states).
I've pretty much been doing nothing but play poker lately. I'm really addicted to it, but at least I (so far) have been doing reasonably well.
It's a ton of fun. And the amount of free food you get for playing for three hours at Bicycle is insane.
Posted by: alan | February 26, 2004 04:10 PM
And then......?
Posted by: Laurie | February 26, 2004 04:12 PM
Dude, I hope you didn't give the real name of the club. Otherwise they will get busted and you will never play poker in that town again. For real, what if the Hollywood mafioso comes after you?
Posted by: nitz | February 26, 2004 04:16 PM
Since when is poker illegal?
Posted by: emily | February 26, 2004 04:17 PM
hey wil,
talk about a cliffhanger (well no you didn't, but hey!) i want to know what happens next!!! i guess we'll find out soon enough! at least i'm hoping so!!
anyway...
i hope it went well
take care
rach
Posted by: rach | February 26, 2004 04:22 PM
Please finish the story Wil...Pleeeeeeeease...puppy dog eyes and all...
Posted by: =^) | February 26, 2004 04:25 PM
Yay! I’ve been waiting for a poker story ever since I started playing with some of the people in my dorm. The only reason I tried it was that you’ve talked about it, but now I’m addicted and I live for the weekly game.
Oh, and finish the story soon, Wil. We want to hear how you cleaned up.
Posted by: Indy | February 26, 2004 04:26 PM
A friend of mines father was invited to that back in the 80's...Sammy Hagar lived down the street from her uncle...and he invited them to a poker game...the guy who played Higgins in magnum pi was there...they of course, couldnt play. They didnt have 10 grand to ante in.
Posted by: pheenobarbidoll | February 26, 2004 04:36 PM
You take the subway in Los Angeles?
Posted by: Tim Fogarty | February 26, 2004 04:46 PM
Holy hell... I want the rest of the story.. don't hold out on us Wheaton!
Speaking of poker.. you know pokerroom has a tourneyment area now right?
;)
Posted by: Neph | February 26, 2004 04:50 PM
Admit it, is that an excerpt from JAG? You're really not planning on continuing this are you? Tomorrow, your blog will say, "If you'd like to know the rest, buy my book!"
Posted by: Lizette of S.F. | February 26, 2004 05:02 PM
Excellent first part -- I'm on tenterhooks for the next part.I've played in two "real" tournaments (though up here in Seattle, we have casinos instead of illegal bars) and, for the beginner, it's terrifying and amazing all at the same time. And funny as well, if you're a young woman finishing much higher than a passel of old men :^)Even though the tourney is already done, I have my fingers crossed that you do well!
Posted by: Missy | February 26, 2004 05:06 PM
Wil, you're such a tease!
Posted by: Hez | February 26, 2004 05:18 PM
Now that's some entertaining writing! Not that your other stuff isn't, but damn, this one really sucked me in.
Posted by: Dan Parsons | February 26, 2004 05:21 PM
Great story Wil! Being that my fiance use to work the back room games in Dallas, I've come into contact with just about all of the poker "legends." Never hurts when you work the WSOP every year either. Of course, I won't be doing that this year.
For those that asked about poker being illegal.... it is illegal outside of a "sanctioned" card room. That is if there is a rake taken from the game. The government doesn't want anyone making any money they aren't getting a cut of. Home games are legal as long as the house/person running the game isn't making anything off of it (so as long as all the money on the table is just going between the players its kosher).
It scares me that I've never actually played live poker & know this.
Posted by: Zombie | February 26, 2004 05:45 PM
Doyle rules!! If you lost your shirt, go back to penny ante. It's just as much fun, and easier on the wallet.
Posted by: Jonathan | February 26, 2004 05:46 PM
Was it wise to blow the cover of a secret poker operation run by shady underworld characters on your high-profile blog? You've seen "Rounders". You know what these people are capable of!
Run! Save yourself! Don't be an Edward Norton.
Posted by: Joe Coughlin | February 26, 2004 07:14 PM
Fantastic story, Wil. Looking forward to the conclusion.
Posted by: Nick | February 26, 2004 07:16 PM
Don't be an Edward Norton
You mean, an actor who actually gets to work in quality movies and has a film career?
Perish the thought.
Heh.
Actually, I changed a few details to keep the gods happy. :)
Posted by: wil | February 26, 2004 07:41 PM
WHEATON, YOU SUCK!!!!!! Don't leave me hanging like that man, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED NEXT!?!?!?!
Posted by: Kalel38 | February 26, 2004 07:54 PM
Excellent writing, Wil. I look forward to JAG with great anticipation.
Posted by: codespace | February 26, 2004 08:04 PM
You're such a tease!
Posted by: des4 | February 26, 2004 08:15 PM
Great opening - looking forward to reading what comes next. But I couldn't help cracking up laughing - I expect 'Daniel Ocean' to walk in at any minute! :)
Posted by: Elyssa | February 26, 2004 08:46 PM
yourrrr evil!
Posted by: julrosec | February 26, 2004 09:15 PM
Wil,
You reminded me of why I don't watch soaps. Yes, talent but I am to impatient.
FABIAN
Posted by: Fabian | February 26, 2004 09:29 PM
COME ON!!!!!!!!!!! Argh Wil. Argh.
Toon in next time, I guess.
Posted by: David | February 26, 2004 09:35 PM
Oooh shady. A friend of mine hangs around in dodgy locations like that and it seems to affect his character everytime he comes back. Don't hang out there TOO often Wil or we'll have to start calling you Godfather Wil, The Mafia King, instead of just plain Uncle Willie.
Posted by: Annie | February 27, 2004 12:39 AM
Wasn't Odessa the name of the cover organization that helped Nazis get out of Germany after WWII?
Here's hoping you didn't just get involved with geriatric nazis.
Posted by: Evilbeard | February 27, 2004 01:41 AM
Why is everyone begging for Poker Story Part Two so soon? Wil has done multi-part stories plenty of times before!
Give him a day or two ... it takes a lot longer from him to WRITE his blog than it takes for us to READ it.
xxxxxxxxxxx
I'm glad to know that Wil DID change some details in order to protect the guilty (and to save his own neck!) As an occasional victim of "bad publicity" himself, Wil wouldn't be so careless as to expose such an establishment.
--Allan French
Posted by: Allan F | February 27, 2004 01:59 AM
I'm glad that "Zombie" told us what makes certain gaming illegal.
The government wants a cut of the any alcohol sales, too, which often accompany gaming. So "Odessa" would need at least TWO licenses to be "sanctioned."
Speaking of government harassment:
* Show Bush the DOOR in Two Thousand FOUR. *
Your thoughts are welcome at www.CloseTheBooks.com
--Allan French, Silicon Valley, CA
Posted by: Allan F | February 27, 2004 02:13 AM
I so innocently checked my LJ friends list and saw this feed. Now, I must know what happens next.
You're leaving me hanging, Wil.
Posted by: Deird'Re Brooks | February 27, 2004 03:02 AM
Wil has a dark side. Sweet.
(I knew it!)
Posted by: Shay | February 27, 2004 04:53 AM
Hehe...bigtime underground game you got there. For a $100 buy in, I'm gonna guess those Samoans were carrying Swiss Army Knives!
Posted by: Rob | February 27, 2004 05:38 AM
Wil Wheaton stars in "Rounders 2"
Posted by: Clark | February 27, 2004 06:25 AM
First of all.....you tease!
Secondly, I'm hoping Anne knows about your participation in an illegal game because that would just suck if she managed to read about on your website, of all places ;-).
Thirdly (and most seriously)-- can't wait for the continuation.
Posted by: Michelle | February 27, 2004 07:11 AM
Christ on a cracker...must you be so cruel?? Though I have no idea how to play poker [yet!], I am addicted to Celebrity Poker Showdown. Rawk on, Wil!
Posted by: Abby | February 27, 2004 07:20 AM
Dude,
Rule number one of Fight Club is that you DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.
Posted by: Laura Moncur | February 27, 2004 07:24 AM
great first scene for a movie!
Posted by: murray | February 27, 2004 07:31 AM
Hope you won't get any crap over this from the guys who run the Odessa Room. Be careful, dude.
Posted by: eddie | February 27, 2004 07:53 AM
Ok, so far I have this Quentin Taratino feeling going on, and the movie in my head, playing this script from cool, hip writer Wil, is intriguing me, in a very cool way.
Dammit Wil, PLEASE finish the story (Please, with sugar on top)!!
Leo,
Philly boy who is cooking up some popcorn for the rest of the "film"
Posted by: Leo Romero | February 27, 2004 08:04 AM
*looks up* Oh God above. Now he's done it.
Posted by: Veronica | February 27, 2004 08:34 AM
I've gotta say, that's very well written. Makes me long to hear the rest of the story.
Posted by: Zach | February 27, 2004 08:39 AM
Yeah, can we please find out how you did in the tournament? Were Matt Damon and Ed Norton there? How bout John Malkovich?
Posted by: Pat | February 27, 2004 08:58 AM
Wil, you are a Texas Hold-em guy? I might have to hold a game and invite you when you hot Penguicon in Novi, MI.
Posted by: Joe C. | February 27, 2004 08:58 AM
Welcome to fold Wil,(no pun intended) I think that NL tourneys are the best and cheapest way to get real money experience. Hope the event turned out to be a good experience for you
Posted by: Ryan | February 27, 2004 09:12 AM
Keep your shirts on, people! Can't you read the title? "lying in odessa - part one"
Part one means that there will be at least a part two, so just hang on and I'm sure Wil will continue the story.
Posted by: Anna | February 27, 2004 10:08 AM
"lying" being the keyword..eh??
MORE STORY!!!!
Posted by: bluecat/redblanket | February 27, 2004 10:27 AM
nice work, can't wait for the rest
Posted by: bonnie | February 29, 2004 09:24 PM
Careful, you'll get hooked on playin (and that would be bad how?). I've been playin in tournaments at Foxwoods (Connecticut) finishing as high as 8th out of 200 (last night finished 12th out of 140). It's a blast and it'll be fun to hear how you did! Tell us all about the BAD BEAT that you gave or received. All poker players have them!
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