WIL WHEATON dot NET: 1.5

When I drive from Pasadena, I can get to Hollywood three different ways: 1) down the 2 and through Echo Park to the 101, 2) down the 2 and through Silver Lake to Beverly, 3) out the 134, over Barham, and down the 101 to Highland.

Of course, when I take the Metro, it's significantly easier: park at Del Mar Station, relax, and change trains once at Union Station . . . but since I was running late, I chose to drive route 3.

As I headed over the Cahuenga pass, I noticed a greater-than-usual number of busses with "SHUTTLE" or "HOLLYWOOD BOWL" or "PARKING LOT x" on them. I was so focused on getting to Jimmy's Dinner, though, even if one of them had said, "HEY, WIL! THERE'S A CONCERT AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL, SO YOU SHOULD STAY ON THE FREEWAY UNTIL GOWER" I probably wouldn't have noticed.

Luckily, some little voice in the back of my head said, "Excuse me, Wil? There's a lot of traffic up there. You'd better go down to Gower to avoid it." And I listened. If I'd gone straight, I would have been stuck in at least 45 minutes of crap, but I made it to Hollywood and Highland in under 5 minutes, without resorting to creative driving. Yes, I was very proud of myself.

I pulled into the Valet line at 7:50, and began to panic. I was supposed to arrive at 8, and I was going to have to run through the hotel as it was . . . so when the valet told me that I had to park in a far-away garage, I freaked.

"Dude! I have to speak in ten minutes, and I'm totally late, and you HAVE to park my car! PLEASE!"

"Well, I don't know if --"

"I'm begging you, man!"

I waved a fiver at him, and he capitulated. I must admit, I felt like Mini Henry Hill for a second.

I walked into the cavernous lobby of the Hollywood Renaissance hotel, and looked for signs that would direct me to Jimmy's Farewell Dinner. Finding none, I called a friend of mine who was already at the dinner, and asked him where it was. "On the fifth floor," he said.

"Oh, that should be easy. I'll just get into the elevator and . . . "

I'm not going to tell you how I got lost, because it's incredibly embarassing, so let's just fast forward about fifteen minutes, okay?

I walked into the ballroom, and marveled at the crowd: over 600 people filled the enormous room, and it took me several minutes to find my friend Harry. I had also misunderstood the schedule: I wasn't on until around 9:15, so I had time to eat some dinner and visit with a few people.

Just before 9, the lights went down, and a woman got up to play an incredibly beautiful Star Trek suite on the oboe. Then Marc Lee took the stage, and started the show. The mood was not as somber as I thought it would be, and I laughed so hard my stomach hurt when Walter Koenig took over the hosting duties, and told stories about Jimmy and himself. I've heard for years about how funny Walter is, and I know both of his kids, who are incredily funny people . . . but I'd never actually seen Walter in action. Goddamn, man, he's hilarious.

I got major butterflies when Walter called me up. I was only cast member from The Next Generation in attendance, and I wanted to represent my cast honorably.

My remarks went well. I had the audience on my side the entire time I spoke, and when I was done, I was so relieved that I didn't suck . . . I walked right back to the wrong table. Of course, everyone was still watching me, so I got a bonus (and unintentional) laugh. Nice.

Nichelle spoke after me, and she was fantastic. She looked very beautiful and . . . well, imagine that Storm from XMEN (the comic, not the movie) was in her 60s. That's how she looked. Her remarks were brilliant, and when she introduced Neil Armstrong . . . holy crap, man. The whole ballroom exploded! He gave a great speech, where he said that none of the rockets he rode were as advanced as the Enterprise, because they couldn't even get out of the solar system. Like everyone else there, he'd been inspired by Jimmy's work on Star Trek, and he thanked him for being Scotty.

And that was really the theme for the entire evening: all these people were there because they'd been touched by Jimmy's work, or they'd been lucky enough to know him. I hope that when I am an old man, I am thought of half as fondly as Jimmy is.

Over the years, I've had a few moments when I've been able to "touch" how influential Star Trek is, but nothing has ever been like this night. I'm honored that I got to be a part of both.

Posted by Wil at 02:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (80)

Here are the remarks (I don't think it's quite long enough to be called a speech) that I'm delivering at Jimmy Doohan's Farewell Convention Dinner in an hour-and-a-half.

Yeah, that's right. I'm supposed to leave in 30 minutes, and I just finished them. Turns out I work well under pressure.

Or something. :)

Because of my involvement in Star Trek, I have gotten to meet some really interesting and cool people over the years: space shuttle pilots, a former vice president of the united states, men who walked on the moon . . . all of them are people who have made a huge impact on the world, and all of them are Star Trek fans. Guess who all the scientists and engineers credit with inspiring them to persue their careers?

That's right: Commander Kang.

Just kidding. Of course, it's Jimmy Doohan's "Scotty."

I can't remember if I first met Jimmy when we worked together on Next Generation, or if I had snuck onto the set of Star Trek V. I don't remember if I saw him through the eyes of the professional actor I occasionally was, or through the eyes of the drooling fanboy I always was.

I don't remember if he was in a costume or street clothes, speaking with that wonderful brogue, or without . . . but the first time I saw him, he was Scotty. And he patiently listened to me geek out at him about realigning the warp core, and how excited I was to be part of Star Trek, and to work in Engineering -- just like him. I babbled on about the mater / anti-matter intermix chamber and of course, the transporter. I imagine it wasn't anything he hadn't heard from thousands of Star Trek fans a thousand times before -- well, except for the also-working-on-Star-Trek part -- but he smiled, and listened, and when I finally calmed down enough for him to actually talk to me, Jimmy made me feel like he'd known me his entire life, and he was never just "Scotty" to me again. He was Jimmy, and he was my friend. Over the years, our paths often crossed on Star Trek cruises or whenever Paramount was celebrating yet another Star Trek milestone, and I gradualy became aware of something: the way Jimmy made me feel wasn't unique to our relationship. He truly made everyone he met feel like he was their best friend.

And I think that is why so many of us are here tonight: to honor and celebrate our friend Jimmy Doohan.

I first read that Jimmy had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's on the Internet, at TotalFark.com, and I felt like a member of my family had fallen ill -- actually, I imagine that anyone who ever spent more than a few minutes with Jimmy felt the same way -- but the news struck very close to home for me. My wife's grandmother was diagnosed in October of last year, and we've experienced the helplessness and frustration that accompanies any serious illness.

Gene Roddenberry's legacy is the positive future depicted in Star Trek -- a future free of war, prejudice, ignorance . . . and disease. People have been working to create that future since September 8, 1966.

Today, people travel into space so often, it rarely makes the front page of the paper anymore. Our cell phones look like communicators, our PDAs look like tricorders, and my brother-in-law drives a minivan that looks -- and handles -- like a shuttle craft. We're not quite there yet with ending ignorance . . . but when we do, I think war and prejudice will quickly follow.

We are *very* close to ending disease. Scientists at the University of California are working on a vaccine, and Karolinska's Alzheimer's disease research centre at the Huddinge hospital, was just established south of Stockholm in Sweden. In July, Sheldon Goldberg, president of the Alzheimer's Association, said, "A world without Alzheimer's disease ... is within our reach."

And that is also why we are here tonight. I can't think of a better way to honor and celebrate our friend Jimmy Doohan than by doing everything we can to ensure that Alzheimer's disease is cured within our lifetime.

Thank you.

Posted by Wil at 06:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (71)

I'm getting ready to speak at Jimmy Doohan's Farewell Convention tonight, and I've been writing and re-writing all afternoon. I spent all morning finishing my Dungeon Column, so it's been Wil's Big Day Of Getting Shit Done.

I've written more stuff in this one sitting today (I'm closing in on six hours) than in the last month, so I've been taking breaks and surfing the web to give myself time to recharge between furious bursts of creativity.

In my travels across teh intarweb, I ended up at the blog of my friend and fellow ACME writer, Shane Nickerson. Shane's Good People, and he's a fantastic writer. He's also about to turn 33, and he's blogging about some milestones in his life. Though Shane is a year older than me (ha! Old Man! Old Man!) and he grew up in New England, we share some remarkably similar childhood memories:

1977- My first movie in the theater: Star Wars. Later on in life, I would make the tragic social mistake of getting "Star Wars Sneakers." I wore them with pride the first day and then instantly regretted it when I was lambasted by ALL of my friends wearing Zips.

A few years after 1977, I was caught in the furious grip of Michael Jackson mania, and wore a "Thriller" T-shirt to school on "Graffiti Shirt" day . . . and all the kids wearing Van Halen T-shirts brutalized me for it. After first recess, I ended up turning it inside-out, and lied to everyone that I had spilled punch on it.

Man, kids can be cruel, can't they? I've often wondered . . . if I ever ran into one of my childhood tormentors, what would I do? Pretend nothing ever happened? Cock-punch? Point and laugh? I don't know . . . I'd like to think I would rise above it and act like the mature adult and parent of two teenagers that I am . . . but I'm pretty sure I'd end up doing the cock-punch.

Posted by Wil at 04:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Tonight, I will be on the Computer America show.

I'll be mostly talking about Just A Geek, but I'm sure I'll geek out about Linux, my frustrations with my iBook, how cool it is to be a TotalFarker, and this cool wind-up Bender I have on my desk.

I'm on from 7PM to 8 PM Pacific. This handy link has all the listening details.

First Break Update: Well, I pulled a full-on rookie move, and talked right up against the break . . . but it wasn't my fault! I didn't hear the music starting. Grr. So far, the interview is fun. I feel a little long-winded, so I'm going to shorten up my answers in the second block.

Second Break Update: DAMMIT! I talked into the break again! I'll have to get the exact times they go to commercial, so I can not suck. Still too long-winded. I'm sort of rambling in my mind, (too many thoughts jumping up after each question, each thought leads to a new thought, which leads to still another thought. It's hard to tie them back together. Anyone who's seen me speak live knows what I mean.) If I were a politician, I would be "off message."

Okay. Next break I will be succinct and direct. I am so not going to suck!

Third Break Update: Much better! I didn't talk into the break! Yeah!

Of course, I did sort of rush myself a little bit, and it feels weird to talk about how Just A Geek is doing. I think it's doing well, but I don't have anything to compare it to, you know? I can't see actual numbers other than the Amazon sales ranking, so I sort of panicked and answered that I've heard from lots of people who have told me they liked it.

Hrm. So I didn't *totally* suck, but I didn't rule, either. Hopefully, I'll hit the good balance in this next break.

Fourth Break Update: Best break yet! I stayed focused, kept my answers short, and even kept my head about me when I got a question from a caller that made me squirm a bit. These hosts are really great, and I'm really enjoyng myself.

Final Thought: So I didn't totally suck, but it took me two full segments to get warmed up. Maybe in the future I should do some sort of fake interview with myself for ten minutes, so I feel comfortable when I get on the air . . . hrm. That actually raises an interesting thing: I've been so severely burned over the last few years by The Media, I feel a little nervous and stand-offish when I get started, because I don't know if I'm going to get slammed or not. The hosts on this show were fantastic, though, and they totally didn't make it all about Star Trek, or all about Computers or anything like that . . . and they'd actually read the book (!) which was a huge bonus.

To use baseball as an analogy: I didn't hit it out, but I got a double, and stole third before scoring on a fielder's choice.

Still with me?

I'm just now realizing that I haven't done very much publicity for Just A Geek, in comparison to Dancing Barefoot, which is weird (and a little alarming) considering we (O'Reilly and I) thought Just A Geek was a much "bigger" book. Hrm. Maybe it's also very early in the "cycle," too. Maybe I need to send The Voice Of Self Doubt off to the Cornfield.

Maybe I need to get offline and go watch WSOP on ESPN.

Posted by Wil at 10:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (65)

It usually takes about 2 hours to get to San Diego, so Anne and I left at 10, leaving ample time to arrive for my 1:30 signing at Mysterious Galaxy.

We hit our first traffic jam in Norwalk, on the 5, where it took thirty minutes to go ten miles. No wreck, no construction, just congestion. Not a good sign.

We hit our second traffic jam -- in the carpool lane, no less -- in Santa Ana. I growled and snarled, and felt my shoulders tighten as we sat motionless while the cars on the regular freeway streamed past us at 80 miles per hour.

Ten minutes later, when we'd moved the quarter-mile past the merge that created the carpool jam, we stayed at normal freeway speeds right until about Irvine, where we stopped, and didn't move more than a few miles in close to twenty minutes. If the traffic was this bad, this far north of our destination, I knew that there was no way we'd get there on time, and we were already too far down the 5 to try an alternate route.



"Argh! This is like the fucking 101 freeway at 5 PM on a Friday afternoon!" I said.

"We're going to be fine," Anne said. "We've still got a lot of time to make it there, and the traffic can't stay this bad the entire way."

Well, it turns out that the traffic could stay that bad the entire way. For the next three hours, we crept along at 30, or occasionally 45 miles per hour. It was the most infuriating drive of my life, made worse by the knowledge that I was not just going to be a little late, but I would be extremely late.

"Goddammit! This is such bullshit!" I said, as I hit the steering wheel for what seemed like the hundredth time. "I am so fucking unprofessional, and inconsiderate, and just --" I hit the dashboard this time "STUPID!"

Longtime readers of this blog are probably aware of how patient and understanding my wife is. When I freak out like this, she knows that it's not about the traffic.

"We can't make the freeway move any faster," she said, calmly, "and all you're doing is stressing yourself out worse and worse."



As usual, she was right. As usual, I was too furious to listen.

"There are lots of people waiting at Mysterious Galaxy, right now, for me to show up, and I'm currently letting every single one of them down!" I shouted. "Hey! My blinker means that I want to get out of this lane, you stupid fuck!"

I looked at Anne. "Apparently, turn indicators now mean, 'Please speed up so I can't change lanes.'"

"Look," she said, "I don't want to listen to you freak out any more. So you need to stop now. We'll get there when we get there."

I fumed for a few minutes. It was one thing to be angry with myself for the poor planning that put me in this position, and it was one thing to be worried that I was screwing up a very important appearance . . . but it was another thing entirely to be upsetting my wife, who was just along for the ride.

We rode in silence for the next several minutes, as we crawled through San Juan Capistrano, and I calmed myself down.

"I'm really sorry," I said. "The traffic isn't your fault."

"I know," she said.

"I'm just upset that I was so wrong on the planning," I said.

"I know."

"We should have just taken the train," I said.

"I know."

"I'm never making this drive again," I said.

"I know."

The traffic remained heavily congested all the way down to San Clemente, where it suddenly and miraculously opened up until somewhere around Encinitas, where we slowed back to a crawl again. I called the bookstore a few times to give them updates, and tried to remain positive, even though I was pissed. Maryelizabeth, from Mysterious Galaxy, was very supportive and encouraging on the phone, and assured me that the crowd wasn't as upset as I was, and told me to just get there as soon as I could . . . which ended up being an hour late.

When I got to the store, I felt embarrassed, and had a hard time holding my head up when I walked in, even though the crowd applauded. It was even worse that I had to go straight to the bathroom, at the back of the store, before I could do anything.

After seeing a man about a mule, I took the podium, and started my reading. I was genuinely surprised that so many people had waited so long to see me.

"I'm really happy that you all waited so long to see me," I said, "I wouldn't wait an hour for me, that's for sure!" Then I promised that I wouldn't suck, and I began to read.

There is a fantastic account of the event in a weblog called "brianstorms," that actually captures the essence of the whole thing, and has some nifty pictures of me and The Shirt, and since I'm on a deadline for Dungeon right now, I encourage everyone to go read it (and you'll probably end up bookmarking the blog just like I did. It's incredibly well written and very interesting.)

When all was said and done, the event was a lot of fun, and I think I did a good job with my material. This was only the third stop on the Geek Tour, but I'm already enjoying performing the material even more than I enjoyed writing it. Each reading (which I actually approach as a performance) is different, as I discover nuances in the material that I didn't even know were there, and I'm keeping notes in my reading copy, so if O'Reilly ever does a second printing, or a paperback version, I can make some changes to improve it.

Before I left, I signed a ton of stock, so if you're hoping for a signed first edition of Just A Geek, or a signed first O'Reilly edition of Dancing Barefoot, you can get them from Mysterious Galaxy.

And if you're able to actually get into the store, you can see the best thing of all: I'm on the shelf right next to Ray Bradbury, and that, my friends, is truly the Cat's Pajamas.

Posted by Wil at 09:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (53)

Stop number three on Geek Tour 2K4 is coming up tomorrow, at Mysterious Galaxy in San Diego. I'll be reading from and signing copies of Just A Geek and Dancing Barefoot starting at 1:30 PM.

Maryelizabeth from MG brought me to ComicCon when I was doing Dancing Barefoot with Monolith Press last year, and helped me understand a lot of the realities of the publishing world. Her support and encouragement is a huge part of this chapter in my life, and I'm really looking forward to the reading. I sort of feel like I've made it into AA ball, and I'm going back to the field where I finally learned to make my curve break. It's going to be awesome!

Posted by Wil at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (53)

When I got back from vacation, I had one day to catch my breath before I headed down to Borders in Hollywood for stop #2 on Geek Tour 2K4. I was nervous and hell, since I didn't know if anyone would show up . . . but they filled every seat! I saw several familiar faces there, including some soapboxers, people I'd worked with on Star Trek and Teen Titans, and this guy who I grew up with in Sunland. We were the best of friends, and lost contact (like so many kids do) when he moved away right before my family moved away. Even though I hadn't seen him in over 20 years, I thought about him all the time, and wondered what happened to him. See, we used to spend hours sitting on his porch, making up video games together. We'd both write them, he'd draw them, and we had grand dreams of developing for ColecoVision . . . I truly believed that he was going to do something great with himself someday.

I nearly fainted when he came up to me, and asked me if I remembered him. Of course, we've both aged over the years, and I was drawing a blank when this tall dude said, "Wil, don't you remember me?" (Yeah, because nobody ever says that to me. ;) But as soon as he said his name, I could see the 11 year old kid I remembered -- his eyes haven't changed a bit. So the coolest thing? He's a writer now, and has just had his first book published by Tokyopop! The book is called "@Large," and it's the first time I've ever seen Manga and Hip-Hop culture fused together. I think it's really cool. See, I got to read it, because we traded books. How cool is that? Talk about closing a circle that started in 1984!

The reading went well, despite my nerves. I'm still figuring out what material I should perform at these events, and I tried out something new this time. I ended up reading part of Chapter 1, and part of Chapter 9, and I felt like I never lost the audience. Julie and Peggy from Borders told me that it was a hugely successful event, and Borders is going to have me appear at some other stores as part of The Geek Tour. I feel like Borders is supporting me (they even have my book in the New Releases section, right in the front of the store!) and I can't wait to do more events with them.

Finally, TrekWeb's review of Just A Geek is up today, and it's just . . . awesome. I'm truly at a loss for words to describe how happy I am about it.

Posted by Wil at 10:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (44)

"The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow."

-- Mark Twain

Earlier today, I took Ryan with me to the party store to buy some wrapping paper for my brother's birthday present. At the checkout, there was one of those kiosks that plays selections from fifteen or so CDs of "party music."

After about two minutes of hearing little kids sing "Party All The Time," the theme to SpongeBob Squarepants, and the chorus of "Electric Slide" over and over again, I gave serious consideration to committing harakiri with the roll of wrapping paper I was holding.

When we stepped up to the cashier, I said, "Do they pay you extra for having to suffer through that music all day?"

She sighed and said, "No. They should, though."

"I think it's actually cruel and unusual," I said, "and a violation of UN treaties."

She looked back at me, blankly, and said, "Can I have your ZIP code, please?"

"No," I said. (You see, it starts with the phone number at Radio Shack, then it's the ZIP code everywhere else, and before you know it, we're giving them DNA slides and submitting to retina scans. We've got to draw the line somewhere, people.)

"Whatever," she said, and typed in the local ZIP code. We completed our transaction, and I walked out of the store.

Before the doors had even closed, Ryan said, "Wil, that was really lame."

"What was?" I said.

"I don't want to hurt your feelings . . . but I don't think that girl knew what UN treaties were, and you sounded sort of stupid."

"So should I have said 'Geneva Conventions'?"

"Uhm. No." He said.

"What about —"

He put his hand on my shoulder. "You just . . . shouldn't have said anything."

For the first time in my life, I felt completely lame and out of touch. I haven't felt that uncomforatble in my own skin since . . . well, since I was Ryan's age, and my dad embarrassed me in front of some girl.

We got to the car. As I unlocked the doors, I said, "I'm really sorry if I embarrassed you, Ryan. It was funny in my head."

"It's okay," he said, gently. "It's just that your sense of humor is like coffee . . . it's an acquired taste."

"So this is what it feels like on this side of the generation gap," I thought.

As we drove home, I thought about all those times I was so mortified by my dad, when he was just being who he is, and I understood that Mark Twain quote about growing older and understanding who our fathers really are. I think I need to call my dad . . . I owe him an apology about ten years ago.

Posted by Wil at 02:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (133)

Felix has decided that His Place To Relax is now on my desk, right next to my mousepad. These two sentences have taken me almost three full minutes to write, because Felix keeps rubbing his face against my hand, standing on my keyboard (he just opened 17 terminal windows) and showing me that either a) he loves me or b) he wants me to get away from my desk so he can go back to sleep.

I'm inclined to think it's b).

So we're back from vacation. 2200 miles of road trip, one book signing, several tourist traps, and not a single comfortable bed later, we're home.

The trip was mostly wonderful. We drove all the way to Portland, with some stops along the way to visit family and friends . . . and The Oregon Vortex -- the original Tourist Trap. It was silly, but fun.

Also on the way to Portland, we stopped in Brownsville, which is the town where I filmed Stand By Me in 1985. It was AMAZING! Hardly anything has changed in this tiny town, and the local historical society even has a map of "Stand By Me Locations" that we were able to visit. We had lunch in this rockin' pizza cafe, and the owner told us that hundreds of tourists come there from all over the world to see our old locations. He said that busloads of Japanese kids come over and want to see the treehouse (which is gone, but the tree is still there.) I took lots of pictures, which I'll add to the gallery once I get some time.

The day after we got to Portland, I had my reading and signing at Powells Technical Annex. It was also amazing (I'm going to need a thesaurus pretty soon, since most of this trip was . . . well, amazing.) There were about 150 people there, and they seemed to enjoy the selections I read. See, here's the thing: I have read stuff from Dancing Barefoot so much, I know where the laughs are, I know where the slow parts that pay off later are, and I know how audiences generally react to it . . . but until Powells, I had only read one small bit to an audience, and that was at the Star Trek convention, which has a very unique crowd. So I was terrified that I was going to suck, or I would go on too long, or not long enough . . . basically, The Voice of Self Doubt was in full-effect.

Luckily, it went very well, and I had a lot of fun while I was there. Amber from Powells told me that the next time I go up there, she's going to put me in the main store, because I keep drawing such huge crowds! So an epic Thank You to everyone who came to Portland (I know some of you drove from Eugene or Seattle to be there) and supported me. It wouldn't matter how good I did if there wasn't an audience, and I am really grateful to everyone who showed up.

After Powells, I was officially On Vacation for the next week. We went to Mount St. Helens and The Columbia River Gorge, and I spent lots of time each night playing Hold'Em with Nolan. He's turning into an incredible Hold'Em player, because he combines incredible memory ("I threw that hand away because the last time you raised like that you had kings") with his great math skills ("I couldn't call because the pot odds weren't correct.") Keep in mind that he's 13 on Thursday, and hasn't ever cracked open a poker book. Everything he knows he's learned from playing with me, and watching poker on TV. I made two TERRIBLE plays when I was on WPT, and I know he's going to be severely disappointed in me when he sees them.

From Portland, we drove down to Southern Oregon and spent the night with Anne's grandparents. Some readers may recall that Anne's Grandmother is in the early stages of Alzheimer's, and I guess it's good to report that she was the same as when we visited them back in October of last year. Actually, both of them seemed happy and in good health (considering that they're 1000 years old, of course) and I'm looking forward to visiting them again in Spring.

We took Interstate 5 up to Portland, so on the way back we crossed 80 through the North Bay and San Francisco, down through San Jose (with a stop at the Winchester Mystery House), and across the 17 to Santa Cruz. Anne and I had both been to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk when we were younger, and we were really excited to take the kids there . . . but it was very different than I remember it. I don't know if I've gotten too suburban, or too old, or whatever, but the whole place felt so skanky, I couldn't wait to leave. It was like a traveling carnival had set up on Venice beach. Anne and I were really bummed out. In an effort to find the half of the glass that was full, we rode The Giant Dipper (it's been there for 80 years!) . . . and the whole thing was worth it. We had so much fun on that ride, screaming and laughing in equal parts terror and delight, all the skanky carnies and pan handlers didn't matter. We also walked down the boardwalk to this big arcade that my parents wouldn't let me go into when I was last there 18 years ago, and it was just as awesome as I'd imagined it would be: shooting gallery, lazer tag, all sorts of games of chance, and I got to play Robotron and Q*Bert!

We ended our day with dinner at some spiffy Italian restaurant in Downtown, and got up early the next day to drive to Monterey, which has always been one of my favorite cities in the world.

The Montery Bay Aquarium is known to lots of people at "That Place Where Mr Spock Did The Vulcan Mind Meld With The Whale In Star Trek VIV (I know Roman numerals, I swears it, precious!)" It's best known to me as "That Place Where I Spent Most Of An Afternoon Watching An Octopus Swim Around And Change Colors When I Was 14." Now, it's "That Place I Want To Go Back And Visit Right Away."

I've always loved the ocean, and I've always loved marine mammals. In fact, when I was a little kid, I wanted to be a marine biologist when I grew up, so I could understand whales (especially Blue Whales) and somehow convince people to stop hunting them. So it's like The Monterey Bay Aquarium was specially built just for me (okay, I know it wasn't, but leave me with my dream, dammit!) Since I was last there, it's been significantly expanded, and modernized . . . but it still feels like a small, private aquarium, run by volunteers who truly care about conservation and love the ocean as much as I do -- probably because that's exactly what it is.

We went to the Aquarium on the second-to-last day of our trip (I'd say "penultimate day," but that probably sounds like I'm trying to impress you . . . did it work?) We were all tired, and starting to get on each other's nerves a little bit, (which, I observed many times at many stops, is pretty common on long family vacations ;) but the aquarium was so beautiful, and so soothing, we all relaxed and simply basked in the beauty and serenity of huge aquariums, filled with fish schooling and swimming. When we left, I vowed (as I always do) to one day have a salt water aquarium in my house so big it covers one full wall, and requires a full-time marine biologist to care for it. Take that, MTV Cribs!

Oh, and in one large exhibit, which featured fish you could expect to see in the deep water near the outer bay? I saw a turtle.

We drove home the next day, down highway 1. We did the 17-mile drive, then went all along California's incredibly beautiful coastline through Big Sur and Morro Bay. At San Luis Obispo, we crossed onto the 101, and took it all the way home.

Overall, it was a great time. The kids are not quite at an age where they can appreciate just seeing cool stuff from the car, but they *did* appreciate the Jelly Belly factory tour, and Nolan *did* get excited about driving over the Golden Gate Bridge when it was covered in fog. To their credit, they didn't do nearly as much "are we there yet?" as my brother and sister and I did when we were their ages, and when I really wanted to share something with them, like Brownsville, Oregon, they put down their books and turned off their music, and paid attention. If I had it all to do again, I'd shorten the trip by two days (one in each direction) and plan to spend less time on the road, and more time in the hotel swimming pool, so there was more of a balance . . . but that's part of the on the job training that all parents go through, I guess.

I'm really happy to be back home. I missed my dogs a LOT, and I really missed sleeping in my own bed. I thought I wouldn't miss my website, since I haven't really taken a major vacation in years, but I did. I kept a hand-written journal while we were on the road, sort like a luddite blog, I guess. After years of putting most of my thoughts here for anyone to read, it was cool to have a place to record them without any intention of sharing them with anyone.

Anyway, I'm sure there's stuff I've forgotten, but I've been here for a long time, and Felix is getting pissed.

Posted by Wil at 12:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (139)

I really wish I had that talking moose from Vacation to put here, or at least the ghost of John Candy. But since they're currently unavailable . . .

Anne and Nolan's birthdays are coming up, Ryan is out of Summer School, and I think I need to take some time away from the 'net and just be with them. You know . . . days at the beach, some geocaching, matinees at Arclight, maybe even an overnight camping trip. Something about Ryan turning 15 on Saturday, and Nolan's 13th coming up . . . they're getting older, and I don't want to miss out on anything before I become totally uncool.

I'm still going up to Powells Technical Annex on August 6th at 7:30 PM, and I'm sure I'll audblog and probably moblog the event, and maybe even some of the trip around it . . . but my laptop is going into the shop, (I'm blogging this on a tiny old 13 inch monitor that I dug out of the garage and attached to my Linux machine . . . man, I'd forgotten how much I love Linux!) and I'm going to do everything in my power to maintain a self-imposed Internet blackout and just be a husband and parent.

Hopefully, I'll return around August 14th with my mental kernel rebuilt, updated, and optimized, and some great family stories to tell.

(This entry dated August 10th to keep it on the front page of the site until I come back online.)

Posted by Wil at 12:34 PM | Permalink

I just got back from Vegas, and I want to do a quick recap.

I only have a few minutes (I'm using Ryan's computer, since my Linux box has a blown-out monitor, and the logic board on my iBook exploded -- for the fourth time in two years -- Thursday morning before we left) so I'm going to make a very quick recap of some highlights now, before I forget:

I now present the best of . . .

Thursday

We made it to Vegas in about 4 hours, which was nice, but along the way we got a phone call that put our family medical terror to rest. I can't go into it right now, but everything is going to be okay, and I want to thank everyone who kept us in their thoughts, and sent us their positive mojo, or prayers, or voodoo dances, or snake charming magic.

Thursday night, Anne took me to Blue Man Group at Luxor (one of my favorite shows, ever -- I'm kind of a Blue Man Group Geek), and I got to go backstage, meet the Blue Man (Blue Men? Blue Mans?) and take home a painting that they made in the show!

Friday

Friday was my big performance day at the convention, so it's really hard to pick out the top moment . . . but here are a few:

• I met some people who are longtime readers of WWdN, and they shared with me how this lame website has had a really positive impact on their lives. I was overwhelmed (if you're playing the Joy Of Tech Drinking Game, drink now) and very moved that the things I write here could mean so much to someone I've never met.



• My performance from Just A Geek and Dancing Barefoot was awesome! The room was almost full, and I felt like the audience was "with me" the entire time. Near the end of my time, Brent Spiner walked into the room, and told me, in front of everyone, that he'd read Dancing Barefoot "cover to cover," and that he liked it! Then he told me to wrap it up, so "these people can come over and listen to me talk." It was really funny, and really cool.



• Our Earnest Borg 9 show absolutely killed! I was scared to death that we weren't going to be as good as we were in Pasadena, but everyone in the cast, as well as my wife and parents who were in the audience for both shows, thought it was better! After the show, I went out to dinner with the cast, my folks, and my friend Kat, ate massive dinner, and gambled until the sun came up (well, until the sun came up on the East Coast, but still . . .) When I left the tables, I was actually ahead. Okay, so it was only 15 dollars ahead, but it's the first time I've left ahead in about five years.

Saturday

It was a great day. I met tons of fans who saw the EB9 show, and / or my reading, and the comments were totally positive. I also sold out of all the copies of Just A Geek that I'd brought with me!

Overall, it was an awesome and fantastic weekend. Adam and Gary put on the best Creation show I've been at since . . . well, I think it was the best Creation show I've been at in my life. All the fans I talked to seemed happy, the show felt very well organized, and everyone seemed to be having a really good time. You know what? It felt like a fan-run con!

It was also the best time I've had in Vegas in years. It was pretty crowded, but Lady Luck stayed on my arm the entire time I was there, and I am actually 35 dollars in the black, baby. Oh yeah. I am such a high roller, I think I hear the Travel Channel calling me right now.

There are some other details that need to be filled in, but Ryan has been patiently waiting for me to get off his computer, and I'm so exhausted from the weekend and the drive home that I don't know if I'll even make it down the hall to my own bedroom.

OH! Holy shit! I can't believe I almost forgot to mention this: There *will* be an audio version of Just A Geek, unabridged and performed by me, available in September! If you're coming up to Powell's Technical Annex on August 6th, I'll have some preview CDs to give out.

Okay, that's all for tonight. Thank you to everyone who sent kind birthday wishes, too. That rules :-)

Posted by Wil at 09:37 PM | Permalink