a few thoughts on the oscars
Quick thoughts after the Oscars:
Best. Opening. EVAR.
I loved Jon Stewart, even if most of the audience didn't until halfway through. This crowd takes itself very seriously, and they tend to sit on their hands for the new guy. Lighten up, jerks! It's a party!
I can't comment on the winners, because I didn't see many of the films. I don't know if anyone got robbed, or if there were any Marissa Tomei moments. As far as I can tell, the winners deserved it, but I also know that it's really about being nominated.
I fucking hated it that they kept cutting winners short when they tried to give speeches, so they could do yet another stupid montage about how great movies are. Yeah, we know movies are great. If we didn't think movies were great, we wouldn't be watching. Most of these people get this chance once in their lives; give them the respect they've earned and more than 40 seconds to enjoy and share it, jerks. (That's a different group of jerks than the jerks I was referring to in my first paragraph. You know who you are . . . jerks.)
On the subject of montages: putting The Day After Tomorrow in with movies like All the President's Men, Network, and Schindler's List? Are you serious? I hope someone got seriously laid, like eleven times, for including that. Otherwise, what the hell?
I am so glad that they didn't go out into the theatre like they did last year.
I loved this thing that George Clooney said when he accepted his Oscar:
"And finally, I would say that, you know, we are a little bit out of touch in Hollywood every once in a while. I think it's probably a good thing. We're the ones who talk about AIDS when it was just being whispered, and we talked about civil rights when it wasn't really popular. And we, you know, we bring up subjects. This Academy, this group of people gave Hattie McDaniel an Oscar in 1939 when blacks were still sitting in the backs of theaters. I'm proud to be a part of this Academy. Proud to be part of this community, and proud to be out of touch."
I, too, am proud to be out of touch.
The anti-DVD crap was really stupid. I'll be sure to watch movies in theatres when people shut the hell up in them, and it doesn't cost me twenty-five bucks before I'm even in my seat. And don't even get me started on how shitty most movies are, man.
I really liked the interstitial stuff they did for each category.
Ben Stiller nearly stole the show; it's a draw between him and Meryl Streep and Lilly Tomlin's brilliant tribute to Altman.
Altman made me really happy, I'd love to work with him someday, because even if the final project isn't perfect, I get the sense that you learn a lot and have a lot of fun when you work with him.
I was really bummed that Ang Lee didn't thank or acknowledge his actors.
I didn't know that Paul Haggis is a Scientologist. What a damn shame. Oh well, Crash is still a great movie. And as long as we're talking about spaceship cultists, Tom Cruise is still the most overrated actor in history. In fact, I chalk up War of the Worlds' magnificent .000 batting average to his being in that film. Couch-jumping, Katie-Holmes-ruining, shoulda-stopped-at-Risky-Business and you're not fooling me with Born of the Fourth of July hack.
I loved the campaign ads. Does anyone know if Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert wrote them?
Jessica Alba needs to eat about fifteen sammiches. Come on, girl. I know you've still got some Nancy Callahan in you.
Jennifer Garner was teh hot. Even when she's slipping on her dress, she manages to look amazing.
I loved it that the Wallace and Grommit guys brought little ties for Oscar, and the March of the Penguin guys brought stuffed emperor penguins.
The performance of "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" is probably my favorite moment in Oscar history, and I agree with Cinematical's Martha Fischer who said, "Nothing, ever, will top a giant marquee in front of an auditorium of rich, white people that reads "IT'S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP." (As Kim said, "Have there ever been that many black people at the Oscars at one time?")" The only thing which topped that performance was the acceptance speech, from the highest bunch of guys I've ever seen on television, including the Cheech & Chong marathon a few years ago.
ABC cutting off the acceptance speech from the producers of Crash, the Best Picture Of The Year, is absolutely un-fucking-forgivable, and completely classless, tacky, and horrible. What are they doing? Making sure Jimmy Kimmel starts on time? One of the lowest moments of the entire show, almost as bad as cutting off Martin Landau when he won for Ed Wood. I hope the television critics lay off the fashion snark and lay into ABC for that. It was the one moment in the show when I was actually pissed off.
This is the first year in a long, long time that I've really looked forward to watching the show, and it's the first year in a long, long time that I really enjoyed it, other than the cutting them off in the middle of the Crash speech thing. I hope they have Jon Stewart back next year, and I hope they'll do fewer stupid montages.
(photo from flickr user wannabehipster)
Comments
Sadly, my DVR flaked out on me, and I only saw up to the part where Stewart was in bed with Clooney! *cry*
How was the memorial segment this year? I'm sorry I missed that, it's my way of paying tribute to those who are no longer with us.
Posted by: jhankins | March 5, 2006 9:10 PM
Ahh.. I wondered if I had blacked out and missed Ang Lee thanking the actors. That is disappointing.
I thought it was 'meh' overall - and I can't believe Jimmy Doohan wasn't in the memorial montage!! Talk about the passing of an icon...
Posted by: csarakas | March 5, 2006 9:13 PM
Not just James Doohan, but where the heck was Don Knotts, Darrin McGavin, and Dennis Weaver? Is there a cut-off date for inclusion in the In Memoriam? Don Knotts in particular had a fair film career.
Posted by: Tabby Lavalamp | March 5, 2006 9:28 PM
I 100% agree with them cutting people off during their speeches. They did it to Paul Haggis not once, but twice. They cut him off during the Best Original Screenplay speech, and if that wasn't enough, they had the audacity to do it to him again when he wins what could arguably be called the biggest award of his life.
Overall Oscar Telecast: A
Jon Stewart as Host: A+
ABC productions (manners and class) D-
I'm glad someone else noticed how rude the network was being. Lets hope it's better next year.
Posted by: schell525 | March 5, 2006 9:35 PM
I meant I agree with your comments about them cutting off the winners. Not that I agree with the act of cutting people off. I really should preview before I post. Sorry for confusion :P
Posted by: schell525 | March 5, 2006 9:36 PM
I missed the opening, what was it?
I only watched because of Jon Stewart, and I thought he was awesome.
Posted by: whenigodeaf | March 5, 2006 9:50 PM
I'd give Jon Stewart a B+ as host, but only because he didn't have much to work with. He's at his best when he sticks his toe just "past the line", but with the darker controversial themes of this year's films it felt like he was constantly biting his tongue. Nice Jon Stewart = Less Funny.
Oh well, here's to hoping. I'd love to see him back again.
PS: I totally missed the fact that James Doohan wasn't in the memorial montage. Now I'm a little upset.
Posted by: mirkrim | March 5, 2006 10:04 PM
Ok, Mr. Wheaton. I swear that I read more than once on your blog that your scene in Nemesis was cut and wouldn't appear on any of the DVDs, super-uncut-every-deleted-scene version or not.
I had the pleasure of having my 34th birthday a couple of days ago and the Special Collector's Edition of Nemesis does indeed have your wedding scene chat with mom and the captain.
Good scene, too. Though the finally-reaching-adolescence, giving that hot "you're-not-Ashley-Judd-but-I-know-this-great-nook-behind-the-engine-room" chick seemed a bit cheesy. Played well, sir.
Posted by: jslicer | March 5, 2006 10:11 PM
I'm gay, and even *I* thought Jennifer Garner was teh hawt. Mommy complex or something. lol
My favorite part? Meryl Streep and Lilly Tomlin's 5 minute thing for Altman. Class act.
-Michael
Posted by: Michael Dowling | March 5, 2006 10:12 PM
After seeing Streep & Tomlin ham it up introducing Altman in homage, I'd love to see Mamet getting a lifetime achievement award. Maybe Montegna and Macy introducing? The whole thing would be bleeped out...
Posted by: ChuckEye | March 5, 2006 10:16 PM
For once an Oscars ceremony that didn't have me checking my watch! Jon was fantastic. I almost choked on my carrot during his Bjork joke. Classic.
I also loved the opening bit with the previous hosts - it's great to pay respect to the hosts of Oscars gone by.
Cutting the Best Picture speech was unforgivable. Even some of the audience members looked pissed.
I was surprised by Ang Lee as well, but I'm sure it was just an oversight as he mentioned the names of the characters, which is probably why he forget to mention the actual actors.
Clooney's speech was great. I hope Syriana and Good Night and Good Luck are just the beginning. Reese Witherspoon also surprised me with the awesome quote about just wanting to do something that matters.
I just heard Richard Roper and Roger Ebert doing their wrap up thing saying Jon should come back and host every year for the next 5-10 years! That would be great.
Okay, must stop watching TV now.
Posted by: CarolP | March 5, 2006 10:20 PM
Yup, that was so low for the producers to cut away for commercials when Haggis and the other guy was making his thgank you speech for "Crash." The show was over! Give these guys as much time as they wanted!!!
True, I kept waiting for Ang Lee to say something about Heath Ledger and Jake Gylanhaal(spelling sucks) and nothing. Sometimes when people are under the gun they forget.
I give this show a B. I think there were TOO many montages this year. After the third one I was bored already.
Maybe it was too late to include Don Knotts and the others? It takes time to find the clips and then get clearance. Less than two weeks.
Posted by: Scott T | March 5, 2006 10:23 PM
I love you Wil and I love the Oscars but you actually got pissed off at the TV for that? I dare say there are more important things to get pissed off at (unless of course you were Paul Haggis then you'd have every right). It was stupid and I felt bad for them but not worthy of getting pissed off over in my opinion.
Posted by: pyrofenix | March 5, 2006 10:23 PM
Oh, I forget to ask, was anyone else scared by Dolly Parton? I almost didn't recognize her!
Posted by: CarolP | March 5, 2006 10:25 PM
Re:The cutting off of the speeches...fer kriest sake, it wouldn't be a problem if half o' those nitwits would follow instructions. Just say thank you, and walk off stage. Nobody cares about the story of your Grandmother's pet turtle, or the support you received from the gay community in the Balkans.
Re:Stiller vs. Streep and Tomlin...no contest. I don't care who you team Stiller up with, he could not have pulled off the intro they gave Altman. My cat could have done Stiller's gag about the green screen.
Re:The whole pimp/rap travesty...the fact that "It's hard out here for a pimp" was the best original song says more about the pathetic crop of nominees this year than it does about the quality (or lack thereof) of that particular steaming turd of a recording. Also, on that topic, did Dolly Parton look like a bad caricature of herself, or what?
Jennifer Garner was, however, teh hot.
Posted by: Paul | March 5, 2006 10:26 PM
I *thoroughly* enjoyed Jon Stewart's comment about "The Oscars' Tribute to Montages".
Pure. Comedy. Gold.
Posted by: jslicer | March 5, 2006 10:29 PM
OK, maybe I'm missing something. I saw someone mention on another blog that (much of) the primary music of "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" was mixed too low. So maybe that's it. But if what we heard tonight was actually representative of the song--well, the Academy needs to stop trying to send A Message and start thinking about whether a song really contributes to the greater whole of a film.
I'm sorry, I just have heard too many good songs in films that were utterly ignored to be OK with machine-gun rap with no apparent rhythm or poetry.
But like I said, maybe I'm missing something.
Decent show overall. Jon Stewart = +10 awesomeness
Posted by: Joe Rybicki | March 5, 2006 10:35 PM
I want Jon Stewart to be my baby daddy. And I don't even want kids.
I also think the "It's Hard out Here For a Pimp" number would have won some serious quality awards if they'd come down to my end of Sunset Bl. and hired some actual whores for the dancing instead of the overly-styled 'Hollywood' version.
Posted by: baital | March 5, 2006 10:49 PM
Wow, I had many of those exact same thoughts when watching...
- Bad: the lame jabs at DVDs
- Bad: cutting people off (though it's weird that Reese went on forever and they never cut her off)
- Bad: not mentioning Doohan (esp. since there were a lot of production-crew type people who were being memoralized) (I didn't know that Wise had died!)
- Good: Crash winning. Simply because it was exciting and different. BBM has been talked about too much, and Crash was a good movie that deserved a nod.
- Good: The Cheney joke was great. And the Democratic fundraiser joke was funny too. Clooney's response to that was dry.
- Neutral: Clooney being nominated for supporting actor in Syriana; he was more or less the lead actor, not a supporting actor, so by being nominated, the other people on the Syriana cast (like Siddig) kinda just disappeared; but it was still nice to see Syriana get some amount of attention (even though it's very dry)
Posted by: C64K | March 5, 2006 11:00 PM
Hey, don't knock War of the Worlds. I think it tanked because:
But for what it is, I think it was a half-decent movie, and little Dakota rocks in everything she's in.
Posted by: Jack Johnson | March 5, 2006 11:09 PM
I was actually hoping Brokeback Mountain would win as best picture (I figuired it would be between that flick and Crash).
Though as soon as Ang Lee won best director it was a tip off (I think) that his film wouldn't win best picture.
True, the best picture acceptance speech was cut short! I would have thought that they would give an extra minute at least for that category.
I thought that this year the nominees for best picture were pretty decent.
Up in Canada we've been appalled at some of the movies coming out of the US. I'm referring to all those remakes! Argh! If I hear about one more remake I'm gonna shriek!
Let's have more movies like Syriana, Brokeback Mountain and Crash!
It's been said that attendance is down in movie theatres in recent years. However, attendance is up at international and indie film festivals. You would think that the film industry would notice this trend?
B.T.W. a really good canadian film that just won the special jury prize at the Sundance Film Festival is "Eve and the Fire Horse." If you want to see something good and refreshingly different I highly recommend it!
Posted by: cocacola | March 5, 2006 11:21 PM
To answer Tabby Lavalamp's question: Don Knotts, Darrin McGavin, and Dennis Weaver couldn't be included because they died in 2006, not 2005. The cutoff is December 31. :) That being said, I agree, Doohan should have been there.
I'm also glad that Wil and others noticed the canned anti-DVD speeches. Way to go, AMPAS, biting the hand that feeds you there!! Jake Gyllenhaal looked supremely embarrassed to have to say "portable DVD". He knew it sounded silly and dated like some old fart had written the line. It reminded me of a talk I once heard given by an old church guy who talked about going to the "moving pictures". **shudder**
Posted by: R. Craig Harman | March 5, 2006 11:25 PM
Did they cut off the best picture speech in the theater too? Or was it just that they cut away for the tv audience? Because the music didn't start gradually at all like it normally does, and also the tv didn't show the end of the speech. We were talking about that and we didn't think that the music was playing in the theater, just that the network wanted the show to end NOW.
The Wallace & Gromit bow ties were great, as well as the stuffed penguins!
Another actor that they neglected in the died this year montage was the charming Michael Sheard. He was Admiral Ozzel in Star Wars. He was Hitler in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and he was a very well known tv actor in Britain. Surely he was as deserving as those old folks we've never actually heard of in the last 4 decades.
But the absolute best thing about this year's Oscars was Jon Stewart. The man is genius!
~Sharon
Posted by: HellZiggy | March 5, 2006 11:28 PM
They didn't mention Arthur Miller either.
Posted by: Stephen | March 5, 2006 11:45 PM
They cut off the speech in the theatre, too.
I saw the spotlights aimed at the winners shut off, and no sound from the 2nd winner when he was trying to start his speech, yet, the orchestra could be heard.
Plus, when the cameras cut to the audience, some jaws were dropping, big time.
Unfogivable. [Relatively speaking, of course.]
Posted by: EdwoodCA | March 6, 2006 2:51 AM
About the anti-DVD rants... They jumped out at me too, but they didn't strike me so much as anti-DVD but pro-getting butts back into theatre seats, though in a ham-fisted, not addressing the root problems kinda way.
Posted by: Tabby Lavalamp | March 6, 2006 5:09 AM
At least they went away from giving out the 'lesser' Oscars from the more technical awards in the ailes! I thought THAT was a travesty.
Completely agree about cutting people off. And every other comment.
Here's hoping Jon comes back next year!
Posted by: Jessika | March 6, 2006 5:23 AM
It's weird. I'd been looking forward to watching Jon Stewart host the Oscars all year. Then on the night, someone directed me to a torrent of series from the UK where Torvill and Dean skated Bolero live the previous night. I watched that, and afterwards was just numb to everything else. Good performances or good books often do that to me. Nothing really compares for a while.
Those who didn't see it or don't know what I'm talking about won't understand, but I think the impact of an awesome performance can be understood (isn't that why there are Oscars?). It's just unlucky for me that it was right before the Oscars, just so that I stopped caring.
I'm going to regret that in a few days... but I don't regret seeing that performance.
Posted by: Plainsong | March 6, 2006 5:28 AM
I thought that Jon Stewart was good, but you could tell that he was a bit out of his element. He seemed nervous about going to far. Take as an example, his joke about Russell Crowe needing make up to make it look like he was in a fight. I got the sense that he was afraid to insult his audience. I think some of that began to disappear about halfway through. I missed his political satire, though. I think he was probably under some pressure not to be politcal. The remark about pulling down the Oscar statue to restore order (? can't remember the right word) to LA was funny.
Totally agree about the montages and the cutting off of people.
Posted by: prof_rocko | March 6, 2006 5:42 AM
I agree that cutting people off was not classy. But, at the same time, I do not understand why people seem to need to thank everyone they ever met including the valet that parked their car.
Maybe the time limits are simply too short - but maybe the problem is that everyone gets up there and spews forth a completely uninteresting laundry list of people. Come on people, this is arguably your greatest honor - don't give us a list, don't thank your lawyers, your accountant, and your tai chi teacher.
Clooney easily had the *best* speech of the night. I think you either do what Clooney did - make a genuine statement, thank the academy and your fellow nominees and move on, or do what Jamie Foxx/Halle Barry/Adrian Brody and other have done. Share your joy with us and genuinely thank those few people who mattered the most to you (mother, father, brother, partner, cousin, sister, 3rd grade teacher, favorite author, drug dealer, shrink etc...). I don't care who you pick - just let it be true - tell us a little story why you are thanking them, give everyone else a general thanks and move on.
My hypothesis is that if winners stuck to such an approach two things would happen. 1) The telecast would be a lot more fun to watch; 2) No one from the animators to the best picture winner would ever be cut off for actually giving a real thank you.
The only way to do this though is to not let people get away with the kitchen sink approach to thank you speeches. For example, the media has made it seem like Philip Seymour Hoffman and Reese Witherspoon gave these really thoughtful/genuine speeches where they thanked their family. Of course what isn't mentioned is the 2000 people who were thanked before those lines were uttered - and how mind numbing their speeches actually were as a result.
If the media bothered to mention this - I suspect the bad press alone would push future nominees to lay off the laundry list approach. You just tell your closest 1000 friends that you won't be able to thank them by name if you win b/c of the potential fallout.
I understand that people in the industry are important, and that sometimes an exec or some other person made all the difference in the film being made - but the Oscars are not the place to thank these people. If you care that much; give an interview to the trade mags and talk up this person; or go to your lawyer or accountant and give them a gushing statement they can put in their marketing materials. Mentioning Carrie Smith from Paramount really does nothing for viewers (b/c we have no f'ing clue who this person is or even what they do) and it really does nothing more for Carrie than an actual thoughtful thank you would do.
Ok - end of rant.
Posted by: optimistic lyricist | March 6, 2006 6:00 AM
I didn't see much of the show, but I thought Jon Stewart was great, Ben Stiller's "floating head" thing was funny, and Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep were great in their tribute to Altman.
Cutting speeches short is disrespectful, but at the same time, the recipients need to keep it short - individually thanking everyone who was involved with the production of the film is not necessary. Maybe the top few awards (best picture, actor/actress, supporting actor/actress, director) can allow longer speeches, and shorten the other ones.
Jennifer Garner was teh hot. Even when she's slipping on her dress, she manages to look amazing.
Yes she does - I imagine she looks amazing when slipping off her dress too. (Uh-oh, now I'm going to have Ben Affleck coming after me - "Hey Ben, how 'bout those Red Sox?"
Posted by: Graeme | March 6, 2006 6:16 AM
R. Craig Harman:
Your theory about Don Knotts being left out of the montage would make sense (Must have died in 2005- Cut off for inclusion is Dec. 31) except the tribute included Shelley Winters and Chris Penn. Both of whom died in 2006. I can only assume that Don Knotts simply passed away after the deadline occured (whenever that may be) and we can only hope that he is included in next year's telecast.
Posted by: schell525 | March 6, 2006 6:42 AM
"On the subject of montages: putting The Day After Tomorrow in with movies like All the President's Men, Network, and Schindler's List? Are you serious? I hope someone got seriously laid, like eleven times, for including that. Otherwise, what the hell?"
Oh, thank God I was not the only questioning the editor's and director's sanity on this choice.
Posted by: kapgar | March 6, 2006 7:18 AM
Let's see...
Anti-DVD - wha?? I could have sworn the studios make a killing from DVD sales. Oh, but the actors and directors maybe haven't worked that into their contracts yet.
Cutting off speeches - Let's hear it for Hughes Winborne (editing) for stopping them from playing him off as he thanked his deceased friend and his son. Also, the countdown from the maker of Tsotsi was great too. Cutting off Crash was dispicible.
- Day After Tomorrow - I laughed when I saw that. Yup, it definitely woke the world up to the problem of global climate change.
- I LOVED how they kept lingering on Ryan Phillippe during Reese Witherspoon's speech. It was so obvious they were hoping she'd pull a Swank and not thank him so they could get a reaction shot.
- Jon Stewart - Please. I LOVE Stewart, and I have since he had his late night show on FOX some 13 years ago. But he was awkward, seemed nervous at times, and really had a hard time finding the funny. The opening sequence was mixed, but overall good, his monologue was tough to sit through, and it wasn't until he started getting comfortable later on that he got funny. Tribute to Montages? Loved it! Scorcese 0, Three 6 Mafia 1! :) I thought Chris Rock was much better last year.
- Jon Stewart, Steve Carell both on stage at the Oscars! On top of that... the voiceovers for the "campaign ads"? I do believe that was Stephen Colbert. Great to see all of them involved in the most mainstream television event in the world.
- What was with Lauren Bacall? Did her contacts fall out? She was botching every second word in her introduction of the film noir montage. She didn't SEEM drunk... but sure read like she was.
- HORRIBLE production. Bad cuts, shots that made no sense, constantly showing stars in the audience that had NOTHING to do with what was going on on stage, sound problems, bad cuts in from the commercial breaks, noise from the production booth leaking into the broadcast? ("Ok, here we go" during the best picture (or was it best director) announcement). Usually the Oscar broadcast is FAR more tight than this.
- No Scotty. Should have been around Robert Wise and Brock Peters (just for the Trekkies out there).
- Ben Stiller - awesome.
- I also have a general complaint, and I know this isn't the first time it's been said. Where are the comedies? Why can't comedies and comedic actors get recognized as talented? It's a lot harder to make many people laugh than to make them cry.
- Most statuettes of the night? Brokeback Mountain, King Kong, Crash, and Memoirs of Geisha got 3 Oscars each! Huh? Memoirs of a Geisha?
- Speaking of Memoirs of a Geisha - they were CONSTANTLY on Spielberg whenever it got mentioned. Yes, he was a producer, but how many other producers were focused on?
- Overall, I liked the show (believe it or not), but it had an overriding air of annoyance throughout.
Ok, I'm done.
Posted by: Astin | March 6, 2006 7:57 AM
Wait. You skipped ATLARGE to watch the Oscars? S'ok. Tom McEvoy was MUCH more interesting than you would have been. NOT!
Posted by: DavidK | March 6, 2006 8:11 AM
The Cheney joke, awesome. The political commercial spoofs, awesome. The gay western montage, awesome.
Including Penn, who died in 2006 and not including a bunch of other actors, not awesome.
Best Dressed, Keira Knightley...wow. Worst, Michelle Williams. She looked like pee. My husband appreciated both Jennifer Garner's and Rachel Weiss's mommy boobs.
Why Tom Cruise doesn't have an oscar? There isn't a single role he's played that couldn't have been played by any other pretty boy hollywood actor. None of the roles he's done have been made HIS, even though he's had excellent parts. Other actors could have played his parts equally well, or better.
Posted by: Becky..Absent Minded Housewife | March 6, 2006 8:39 AM
Wil, I was BAWLING and SOBBING when I saw Joaquin mouth "I love you, River." I immediately thought of you and River as children. BAAH! I'm such a wimp.
Posted by: ilsalund | March 6, 2006 8:41 AM
I think "The Day After Tomorrow" was in the montage because the line in the clip was about "I have to meet with the director of FEMA." Not that a cheapshot is any kind of reason to include the clip, but it does give a little bit of insight.
I have no comment on the song from Hustle and Flow, since I haven't seen the movie, but I'd rather see a category for best use of a song in a movie, original or not. I prefer to see a song I've heard before that makes a unique contribution to a movie than one that was written specifically for the movie to run over the closing credits.
Posted by: Max | March 6, 2006 8:58 AM
I wonder if the deceased's family have to agree to have their pic in the montage. I can't think of any other reason Doohan, Gershin, et al were left out.
Posted by: litgurl | March 6, 2006 8:59 AM
Wil, I'm right there with you regarding Tom Cruise. I lost all respect for him when he got with Katie Holmes. I think my opinion of him has been slowly declining through the years, but this past year, it's gone straight to hell. The man's turned into an idiot.
As for the rest of the Oscars, well, I didn't watch. Didn't have time this weekend. Maybe I'll catch a rerun at some point. Sorry! Had to comment on the fool that is Tom Cruise, though.
Shauna
Posted by: shauna | March 6, 2006 10:02 AM
Wil, it seems contradictory that you would give Jon Stewart props (well-deserved) for his jokes and jibes, and criticize the Hollywood crowd for taking "itself very seriously", and then praise George Clooney for his self-aggrandizing pat on the back.
What are the voters trying to tell Ledger/Gylenhaal? Ang Lee is Best Director, they had the Best Screenplay, but they must be the ones who effed it up, because they didn't make the Best Picture. Damn actors anyway.
Posted by: ToddCommish | March 6, 2006 10:26 AM
By the way, caught you on "I love Toys" yesterday. What a hoot! That show is perfect for parents to show our unappreciative kids exactly what kind of crap we had to play with. I'm betting on Barbie being #1, with Slinky and Hot Wheels in the top ten.
How do they do those interviews? Do they just bring you into a studio and hand you crap and ask your memories of it?
Posted by: ToddCommish | March 6, 2006 10:39 AM
Theory: Perhaps only Academy *Members* who pass away are honored for the In Memoriam segment. Membership is by invitation or nomination (see Wikipedia)
Posted by: rianpie | March 6, 2006 11:29 AM
I watched the pre-Oscar show and the whole ceremony, and I've got to agree... Jennifer Garner was one of the hottest ones there. Of course, Sandra Bullock looked amazing and Keira Knightly, well, it's Keira...
Jon Stewart was a hilarious host. I don't know why people are criticizing his performance. His jokes were poignant, classy, yet not too snobby. And they weren't too cliche...Well, most of them ;)
At least he's not the one who made the "I wish I knew how to quit you" comment.
And the opening montage pwnd!
There WERE too many montages... especially if you saw the pre-Oscar show on ABC/CTV... those ones were annoying and were just a publicity stunt to get you to visit their website. For the answers. To the names of the movies. Note how I cleverly didn't mention the website ;)
The production, however, was utter crap. I mean, come on! The red carpet producer was a lil slow... He didn't change shots fast enough, and we often saw people turning away from the hosts. Or hosts saying "Thanks". Silly sound people. For the actual ceremony though, it was a lot better. Looks like they woke up in time ;)
Ben stiller rocked, the penguins were cute, and the Wallace and Gromit bow ties were the best. Apparently, Steve Box' wife made the on the way to the Kodak theatre.
Pretty spiffy!
Posted by: starshine_diva | March 6, 2006 12:52 PM
To answer your question Wil, I'd be willing to bet Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert did write the faux ads, especially since Colbert did the voiceover for them. I was hoping he did something for the show, so I was really happy to hear him doing the ads. I hope Jon Stewart hosts again next year- I cannot express how much I love him.
I wish Brokeback Mountain had won, but ahh, well. I tip my hat to Jon Stewart, George Clooney, Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep for being the most enjoyable parts of the show.
Posted by: kiwimango | March 6, 2006 1:18 PM
Yeah, definitely need a commando raid to hold Alba down and feed her a few cheeseburgers. What is it with actresses looking so far underweight? Does it have something to do with those studies about slowing the aging process by eating 15% fewer calories then you actually need?
Posted by: Thing | March 6, 2006 1:22 PM
I didn't think it would have been possible for someone to out-hot Jessica Alba, but holy crap did Jennifer Garner prove me wrong. Mommy weight has done Jennifer good. And the crackwhore diet has done Jessica not-so-good.
Posted by: Exick | March 6, 2006 2:37 PM
On optimistic's rant: what you may not realize optimistic is that while all of your suggestions about how the award recipients might better tailor their speeches to please us, the Oscars were never meant for us, the viewing audience. The Academy Awards are an industry celebration. They are for the people in that room. And they all know every Sally from Paramount and Bob from CAA that you've never heard of.
It is about filmmakers celebrating fellow filmmakers, we have simply been invited to watch. I would never presume to tell the winners who they can and can't thank based on what I, as an outsider, find more interesting. We watch this show for a few hours, that's how much time we have invested in it. These acceptance speeches are the result of an entire career's worth of work and are something that, for most of them, will never happen again. It doesn't bother me if they read a list of 10,000 names I don't know. It's their night, their two minutes of glory, they can do what they like.
Posted by: CarolP | March 6, 2006 3:08 PM
I missed the first hour of the Academy Awards last night, but I watched the rest of it. I really liked the show. Not only did I enjoy it, but it kept on surprising me.
Jon Stewart did a good job hosting.
I was pleasantly surprised that Crash won Best Picture. Ever since I found out it was nominated, I was rooting for that movie. I thought Brokeback Mountain would win Best Picture for sure because of all the attention and nominations that the movie received and also because Ang Lee won Best Director.
I was happy that Reese Witherspoon won Best Actress. I have not seen Capote, but I think Philip Seymour Hoffman deserved Best Actor.
Yes, I am an avid Tom Cruise hater, too. I have nothing decent to say about him. I'll stop now while I am ahead.
I, too, loved how the people who made March of the Penguins brought stuffed penguins with them to the show. I am glad it won Best Documentary.
I liked how everybody looked nice last night. There were very few, if any, ugly dresses. That's a rarity, imo.
The campaign ads were hawesome, too.
Posted by: napoleondynamitefan | March 6, 2006 3:29 PM
CarolP:
Fair enough. Except that they (the industry) sells the right to televise the Oscars and wants the public to watch.
I think the Oscars ceased being a pure awards show a long time ago. They are meant to be entertainment. Otherwise who hosts would not matter at all and no one would care if the home audience liked the host.
Heck, why not just have a huge private party and let the stars talk to each other - no red carpet, no tv, no musical cut offs - just awards and long rambling speeches with everyone thanking their plumber?
My guess is that, while the stars have every right to do this, there simply is no one interested in paying for such a thing.
Since the ratings and the derived ad revenue determines how much a network pays for the right to cover the show; the organizers already do things to ensure that the audience at home doesn't click off.
The rambling acceptances have made me and others that I know tune out or just bypass the live show entirely via TIVO.
And that is a very bad thing in a world of overflowing media powered by ads.
Posted by: optimistic lyricist | March 6, 2006 3:57 PM
wil- you are so right- tom cruise is way overrated and has been for years. he has no credibility and makes himself look like a complete asshat at evey opportunity. you poop out more talent daily than he will ever have.
Posted by: datasgirl | March 6, 2006 4:18 PM
Complete agree with this post. I really wanted Brokeback to win for best picture, but my Mum was like "no way, Crash was better". Whatever. Anyway, yeah, Ang Lee totally was fucked up in not thanking the cast and whatnot. They worked hard.
And Alba, man. Totally agree. She makes me so gay it's not even funny. :(
Posted by: usagiko | March 6, 2006 4:37 PM
Okay, had I realized that "I love you River" was what Joaquin mouthed to the camera I probably would have ended up bawling as well. He is still sorely missed even after almost thirteen years. It'll be another night of watching "Stand By Me" I'm sure.
As far as the whole night is concerned, I think we've heard enough from everyone else.
Kudos to Wil for a great review, overall.
Posted by: KenVanBrunt | March 6, 2006 5:08 PM
Something that bothered me that no one else has mentioned:
They played music over all the speeches that weren't celebrities. If you're Reese Witherspoon, no music; if you're accepting for best documentary short, music.
And it was too loud to be 'music under' -- it was 'music over.'
It was also over the short bit about the technical awards (I think that's when I first noticed it).
I, too, thought it was rude (along with cutting off the 'CRASH' speech).
Posted by: WasMax | March 6, 2006 5:31 PM
"I think "The Day After Tomorrow" was in the montage because the line in the clip was about "I have to meet with the director of FEMA." Not that a cheapshot is any kind of reason to include the clip, but it does give a little bit of insight."
My thought was they purposely chose a movie that obviously wasn't an epic, to highlight the fema quote. I liked it even if it was cheap.
I sensed the Steven Colbert in those ads as well and enjoyed the heck out of them.
The songs performances were the worst/boringest part of the show except the violin guy and all of Jon's jokes directed at him.
Posted by: theFash | March 6, 2006 6:02 PM
"Martin Scorcese... zero Oscars. Three 6 Mafia... one." That was brilliant.
I agree with everything you wrote, Wil. Great review. That cutting-off-speeches thing really needs to be looked at. It's totally, completely insulting.
Posted by: Nadia | March 6, 2006 9:02 PM
We sort of decided that the four big winners broke down into Best Geeks, Best Pretties, Best Script, and Best Overall. (Kong, Geisha, BBM, and Crash, in that order)
One thing I thought was hysterically funny: I'd joked to the friends I was watching with early on that somebody should just go up and declare that their thank-you's are at WWW.SomewhereOrOther.Com and have done with it, and later on somebody actually did!
As for Lauren Bacall, from the way she was shaking I thought she must be very unwell in her age.
Someone said: "These acceptance speeches are the result of an entire career's worth of work and are something that, for most of them, will never happen again. It doesn't bother me if they read a list of 10,000 names I don't know. It's their night, their two minutes of glory, they can do what they like."
Indeed! Many of the people being thanked may never be thanked again, and it's their minute of fame too. For all those folks whose names you don't recognise, just having their name in the credits, and especially having their name run by a list of Oscar thank-you's is an even bigger deal than it is for the folks you recognise!
Someone else said: "My guess is that, while the stars have every right to [a private awards ceremony, there simply is no one interested in paying for such a thing."
Yes, and for performing artists, it's sort of anti-climactic, wouldn't you think? I mean the ritual of presenting and recieving an award is very much a part of the experience of being awarded. For professional actors, a major production is a significant ritual.
--Ember--
Posted by: Ember Leo | March 7, 2006 5:55 AM
>shoulda-stopped-at-Risky-Business
Man, I hate that I'm defending Tom on this one, but you can't deny his performance in Interview with the Vampire. Just about everything else he's done has been crap (and he should serve actual jail time for Vanilla Sky), but Vampire deserves credit.
Posted by: goto11 | March 7, 2006 6:32 AM
I missed the first half hour of the Oscars but sat through the rest of the show. What else I was I supposed to do? Family Guy wasn't on! :-)
What I noticed:
-- During the acceptance speech for "March of the Penguins", the camera panned to Morgan Freeman. ?? What did he have to do with that movie? In other thoughts, I really enjoyed the stuffed penguins. Nice touch!
-- The look on Joaquin Phoenix's face when Reese Witherspoon won, and when he didn't. He just appeared so sincere. I remember him when he went by Leaf and I had photos of him, River, and Wil plastered on my walls from teen magazines.
-- Did anyone else notice how uncomfortable Keanu Reeves seemed with Sandra Bullock? He had one line, and even when he was going to read and the award goes to, he handed the card to Sandra. He just didn't seem like he wanted to be there.
-- Lauren Becall seemed very fragile. She seemed to be shaking a lot and fudged on some of her lines. You have to give her credit for being on stage though.
-- Wil - Have you ever attended the Oscars? Is it invitation only or can any star attend?
Posted by: upderenmn | March 7, 2006 9:13 PM
Morgan Freeman was the narrator for March of the Penguins (US version).
The orchestra should have played everyone off after 5 seconds. Who wants to hear actors thanking their dog, their 3rd cousin, etc?
Anyone could have done the Ben Stiller bit; he was the only one stupid enough to agree to do it.
Big surprise for me: Ziyi Zhang speaking English.
Posted by: Tessa | March 7, 2006 9:46 PM
rianpie is correct--the In Memoriam list is only for AMPAS members. Add anyone else and you have to figure out who to include and who not to include, and that's bound to hurt as many people's feelings as it helps.
(I saw Sean Astin speak shortly after Fellowship came out, and he talked a bit about how being a member of AMPAS works. He's a member because a short film that he directed was nominated, and he and his dad take it very seriously and lobby each other for their votes in different categories. The year Fellowship was nominated at the Oscars, he was not there by invitation as a member of the cast of that film. Rather, he entered a lottery any member of the Academy can enter, and won two of the remaining tickets that way.)
Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep totally out-funnied Ben Stiller, sorry.
My opinion on time constraints: they should totally drop the montages except for In Memoriam and anything dedicated to the winner of the honorary Oscar, and give all the award winners another 20 seconds or whatever it comes out to. They shouldn't start the clock until they get to the microphones (one winner called them out on that). They shouldn't play music over *anyone's* speech like they did with half of them. They shouldn't let some people and not others get away with shaming the conductor into giving them a few seconds longer. And they shouldn't cut off the frikkin' BEST MOVIE speech after having slack elsewhere in the show.
If winners want to thank everybody they've ever met, within time limits, go for it. They don't have to be entertaining or notably gracious if they don't want. This is their moment, not ours.
The stupidest thing ever is a salute to widescreen and the visual benefits of seeing movies in theaters... broadcast to our, duh, television screens. If they want to do those montages for the benefit of those actually present in the hall, fine, do it during a commercial break. We'll catch you on the other side.
Okay, rant over.
Posted by: Claudia | March 8, 2006 11:03 AM
"And none of those issues were ever a problem again." - Jon Stewart
I think 'nuff said.
Posted by: TheCaptain5 | April 9, 2006 11:09 PM