when i'm boss of the universe . . .
Two words I'd like to remove from the Universe:
deets - The word is "Details," not "deets." "deet" is an important ingredient in insect repellent.
peeped - Did you look at it? Then you saw it. You did not "peep" it. And your friends? They are your friends. They are not your "peeps." Your "peeps" are tasty little marshmallow chunks, shaped like birds and covered with enough sugar to give you type 2 diabetes after one box. They are especially tasty if you let them reach the perfect point of almost-too-stale before eating them.
Thank you.
Comments
No, thank you!
You get my vote for BofU.
Posted by: frecklebeach | March 28, 2006 05:24 PM
I see in your writing the fine details that will ensure your election as BotU.
Posted by: Tony Miller | March 28, 2006 05:26 PM
*still chuckling two minutes after reading the post*
Posted by: Kudra | March 28, 2006 05:28 PM
Ha ha! That's funny. You rock, Wil.
Posted by: shauna | March 28, 2006 05:34 PM
What if my peeps are actually peeps though? I mean, call it sad, but they are the best listeners I've ever hung out with... and if I get hungry, I'm down a few friends for a little while...
Posted by: jer_ | March 28, 2006 05:37 PM
Man, and I thought that my Mom was the only person in the Universe who prefers eating marshmallow Peeps when they get stale.
I'll have to fill her in with the "deets" about how you enjoy eating them that way, as well :-P!
Posted by: Danyiel | March 28, 2006 05:45 PM
Mmm.... Stale peeps... TG I'm not the only one. =P And you've got my vote. I mean, if I can't figure a way to make /myself/ boss of el universe-o, that is. *shifty eyes*
Posted by: Nicole | March 28, 2006 05:46 PM
The one that's driving me crazy now is "chirp", which is supposed to be slang that companies who sell fancy walkie-talkies are trying to get consumers to use to mean "causing the annoying sound the walkie-talkies make that drives everybody crazy." Like "text" only more annoying. "You get unlimited chirp for ten bucks a month!" Yeah, bend over and I'll give you unlimited chirp, chump.
Posted by: Elayne Riggs | March 28, 2006 05:51 PM
Of course, the peep/trek connection goes deeper than that: http://www.invisibleplanets.com/kirk_brandt/wherenopeep.htm#65375
Kids, don't try this at home!
Oh, and yes, Wil, you get to be BotU.
Posted by: khereva | March 28, 2006 05:56 PM
I'd like to vote for removal of "preggers" and (ack!) "irregardless"....
Posted by: Danielle | March 28, 2006 05:57 PM
Too funny, but I must second the motion. My oldest daughter uses the word 'peeps' and it drives me absolutely crazy. But just think, peep season is finally upon us and we can all get our fill of the funny colored bunnies and ducks. MMMMmmmm....
Posted by: hanna | March 28, 2006 06:03 PM
I just hate when people go Aeyit instead of "All Right"
I sound like an idiot right about now huh? Okay staying quiet now...
Posted by: David Arroyo | March 28, 2006 06:08 PM
All hail the stale peeps!
You know, I was just doing a little photo essay of Peep Jousting when I read this entry. (;
Posted by: Samurai Avon Lady | March 28, 2006 06:44 PM
LOL
That was hawesome!!!!
and I totally agree!!!
Posted by: starshine_diva | March 28, 2006 06:57 PM
I want to get rid of the farking word "bump" in reference to being pregnant. As in "Look at Britney's bump, it's gonna be, like, totally cute, ya'll".
((baaaaarrrrrfffff))
Posted by: Pookie | March 28, 2006 07:15 PM
Ceci n'est pas une peep!
Posted by: ChuckEye | March 28, 2006 07:31 PM
Another: webinar
Posted by: probabilistic | March 28, 2006 07:41 PM
"Deets" I'm unfamiliar with.
But "peeped" and "peeps" are both necessary additions to the English language. "Peep" the verb is MUCH closer in meaning to check out than it is to simply look at. For example "Yo man, peep his fly specs." You could swap in check out but peep's shortness fits in nicely in the sentence.
As for "peeps" the noun, we can't say "friends" that's way too mainstream. What else we got? "Homies"? Ummm..... "Pals"? NO! "Chicos/Chicas"? "Chicas" might be ok for the ladies but I ain't never heard "chicos". Furthermore "peeps" has a much more second person feel to it as in: "Listen up my peeps".
Posted by: Kenyon | March 28, 2006 08:13 PM
...Wil Wheaton for President! :D
Posted by: Kirsten | March 28, 2006 08:15 PM
Peeps remind me of stalking, desperate, sick and twisted individuals that steal looks into the windows of others. Creepy. Wil - if changing the vocabulary is your platform, I'll vote for you. Does that mean there will be one, universal language??? Cool.
Posted by: alicein1derland | March 28, 2006 08:40 PM
...and when you DO become Boss of the Universe, you'll be able to keep those damn kids off of your lawn, too...
Posted by: insertparagraph | March 28, 2006 08:47 PM
Hmmm. We all have words that annoy. How about HAWESOME?
Posted by: kat | March 28, 2006 09:37 PM
P.S. I love you anyway.
Posted by: kat | March 28, 2006 09:42 PM
"When I'm boss of the Universe..."
You'll see me over your shoulder. It'll be coup time, mah man, and, as an example that doesn't directly apply, people don't wanna be owning an SUV on that day.
.. nor does one want to telemarket on that day.
.. and parenting classes will start immediately. Study now to get the antidote to the contraceptive I placed in the water supply.
.. and the pointless invasion of sandy locales will stop. Unless it's spring break in Mexico.
Posted by: Bishop | March 28, 2006 09:54 PM
Just a heads up on those peeps, for the love of god keep them away from an open flame. When roasted peeps turn into tiny little bunny shaped flaming balls of doom. This is from experience. For serious, don't mess with the peeps.
Posted by: kinderho | March 28, 2006 10:10 PM
:-) Smart man.
Posted by: Aja | March 28, 2006 10:20 PM
About the only thing better than stale peeps (a.k.a. peeps jerky) is microwave peeps. 6 seconds, no more.
Posted by: nekodojo | March 28, 2006 10:30 PM
You'll get my vote for Boss of the Universe if you also promise to outlaw "prior to" and the improper use of "due to" (as in "Due to your idiotic word choice, I'm going to have to kill you now."). I'll vote you in for life if you also promise to teach people the proper use of "comprise" (hint: "comprised of" is *never* correct).
Posted by: magdala | March 28, 2006 11:37 PM
Well, magdala, it's good to know you're for the stagnation of language.
"deets" has got to go, t hough.
Posted by: theCurse | March 28, 2006 11:41 PM
Not to read too much into your post, Wil, but is there any chance that your 'peeps' and some SciFi Channel 'peeps' are working out some 'deets' as we speak?
Gosh, I really, really hope that's what brought on this post!
Posted by: oregonchick | March 29, 2006 12:01 AM
Hi Wil, this is very off-topic, but have you seen the concept car Nissan Terranaut? They've modelled it on a TNG shuttlecraft!
Posted by: kipperfrog | March 29, 2006 02:08 AM
If you take one of the bunnies and with a knife split its ears up the middle so that it looks as though it has four, then turn it upside down, you will have made yourself a Peep Chuthulu.
Marshmallow elder gods are tasty, at least before the gibbering begins.
And while on the subject of bending language, the putting together of celebrity couple's names to form some sort of Ubername must stop as well. The next person to say "Brangelina" or some such to me is getting a damn punch in the eye.
Posted by: Joker Cross | March 29, 2006 02:50 AM
1. What does it say about your daily interactions that you connect with people who say things like "deets" and "peeped"? Not judging... just saying. One of the ways we can help ourselves in our eternal quest to demand a more perfect linguistic style is to demand perfection among our peers. (Not peeps!!!)
2. I find myself far more offended by things like the redundant TLA(a). See item four, here. Oh, hell, upon review of that article, I realize I'd be far better off if I ONLY had issues over a couple of things (like "deets" and "peeped" items).
ANYWAY... thanks for making blogging safer for a new generation. For reals.
Posted by: Bon | March 29, 2006 03:55 AM
Bon, sadly, far too many people say "peeped" and "deets" that shouldn't. People who think they are being cool and hip because they are in the know regarding current slang. Hack!
Wil, amen!
Posted by: kapgar | March 29, 2006 04:42 AM
Huh. I'm with some of the other posters--I've not heard of "deets". Sounds dumb to me.
However, I'm afraid that it's a losing battle. To quote/channel my wife (who, unlike me, is a professional in the english language, and I am not), "there's no such thing as correct in language, only conventional".
She also predicts that in another generation or so, the adverb will have fallen out of use in english.
Posted by: Craig Steffen | March 29, 2006 04:53 AM
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of some of the new slang. That, and the general misuse of the already screwy Engish language. Oh well, the world really started falling apart when they put a bacward 'R' in Toys Are Us.
Peace
Posted by: ThemePark | March 29, 2006 05:13 AM
I have a question....
What is owned spelled pwned really mean? I know I am 32 but when the the meaning of beat the crap out of someone change?
Posted by: loveoff | March 29, 2006 05:28 AM
Sweet. I just blogged about stale peeps myself a week ago. Great to know I'm not the only one.
Posted by: lukas | March 29, 2006 06:06 AM
Peeps should only properly be ingested after being left out for three days.
And, while you're at it, can you whack the non-words "incent" and "irregardless"?
KTHXBYE
Posted by: Wrathchild | March 29, 2006 06:07 AM
What' wrong with a little slangy now?
"Tomorrow is all like sweet flowers and turning vonny earth and the stars and the old luna up there and your old droog Alex all on his oddy knocky seeking like a mate."
Posted by: Nyarl | March 29, 2006 06:34 AM
If you are going to be Boss of the Universe can you please just teach people to use the tenses of "see" correctly? "I seen it on TV" UGH!
Also you have to fix mispronunciation, i.e.-pitcher when they actually mean PICTURE! Axed when the word is ASKED!
These are the same people who go balistic when you miss pronounce their name.
Posted by: ShannanKA | March 29, 2006 06:34 AM
And I misspelled backward. I have met the enemy, and he is us/me.
More Peace
Posted by: ThemePark | March 29, 2006 06:34 AM
Hey Wil, can I 'axe' you a question? Whilst 'peeps' is quite annoying, what do you think of 'bling', 'bra'? I mean, I am pretty 'amped' that you, a major 'baller' in your own right, would write about this stuff. I almost 'shit a cold purple Twinkie' when I read your original post! It, and you Wil, are 'da bomb' and I enjoy your 'blog'. Keep it up! 'w00t'!
Here are more:
http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wrader/slang/#recent
Posted by: RipRyder | March 29, 2006 06:35 AM
I could not agree more...you should add one..."Street"...NOT "Shtreet"
That drives me up a wall.
I'm finally getting cable internet tonight (no more dial-up baybay!!). Do you have a central location for your podcast archives? I only downloaded the first 2 because they took so long and I kept getting the nasty connection drop but now that I'm getting 20th century internet I want to download the rest. And I'm really ticked that I missed the game last night but no internet+moving and cleaning out old apartment=no hold 'em for Kathy...Kathy is a sad Kathy...
Who won?
Posted by: psycoma | March 29, 2006 06:47 AM
Oooh, I love stale peeps!
And I see someone mentioned microwave peeps.. never had one but now I want to try it.
Even better.. I want to roast my peeps over and open fire and make peeps smores.
I hate that word too.. and thankfully no one has ever called me their peep.. cuz I don't want to be eaten alive. ha ha ha haha! or should I say, I don't want to die? You get the idea.
Never heard of deets, and I'm not too sad about it either.
Great post, as always!
Posted by: KatieKatie | March 29, 2006 06:51 AM
mmmmmmm... stale Peeps... (said in that moaning Homer Simpson donut voice).
Posted by: Digital Goddess | March 29, 2006 07:01 AM
Peeps. The only thing I like about spring. No, wait, I like those Cadbury eggs too. When they are frozen solid.
On words:
Where I live, "I seen" is considered normal. To me, it's like nails on a chalk board.
Wil, please ban "I seen" Please?? When you're BotU
Posted by: UsagiRyu | March 29, 2006 07:03 AM
1. You have my vote!
2. Marshmellow peeps never go stale if you cover them in chocolate. Anything is fresh and lovely if covered in chocolate...
Posted by: KaliAmanda | March 29, 2006 07:08 AM
The one that always sets my teeth on edge is people who use "prolly" when they mean probably.
Brit is prolly not preggers my peeps, 'kay.
Posted by: Debbie | March 29, 2006 07:14 AM
I agree with joker - get rid of all the combined names. Brangelina, beniffer.... It's horrible. Every single celebrity couple has one stupid name now. It's one of the most annoying things I've ever heard.
And preggers is a horrible horrible word. What an odd way to express something as wonderful as being pregnant. Dumb.
Posted by: MaraJade | March 29, 2006 07:35 AM
Wow!
I thought I was a grammar nazi, but some of you have me beat hands down.
I have no problem with colloqualisms. What I do have a problem with is extra words in a statement. For instance f***in OK. Why put a modifier on OK? OK is the ultimate expression of mediocrity in most dialects of english. It can't be modified. Or "These ones". What the hell are "these ones"!!!!
Posted by: tina | March 29, 2006 07:51 AM
Dude, I seriously never heard 'deet' used but that is fucking annoying.
I am pretty sure 'pwned' is still 'owned' but purposefully mispelled as is teh infamous 'teh'.
W00t for the 1337 culture that loves teh tpyo.
Ooh, can someone verify that "can't hardly" is a misues of "can hardly?"
I mean if you can not hardly wait, does not that mean you can wait, as in you are not barely able to wait...ahhh...confusion.
Posted by: ReiTei | March 29, 2006 08:01 AM
Speaking of peeps, have you seen the site that details the research habits of peeps? Remarkably similar to college freshmen.
Posted by: Anna | March 29, 2006 08:12 AM
Stale PEEPS??? Craziness. Check out the research http://www.peepresearch.org/
Kellie
Posted by: Kellie | March 29, 2006 08:31 AM
Can you please also remove "alum"? The word is alumnus (or alumna). Alum is a mineral used in pickling, that stops you from bleeding when you cut yourself shaving, "prevents" hippies from having BO, and, most importantly, constricts Sylvester's mouth to a pinpoint.
Posted by: Bitt Faulk | March 29, 2006 08:47 AM
I'd like to put in a vote for removing corporatespeak words. My least favorite at the moment is "tag-team". I don't even work in the corporate world, yet the higher-ups I work with love these words.
Posted by: Lisa Sonrisa | March 29, 2006 09:12 AM
I'm with you, Wil. I'm afraid 'irregardless' has reached the satiric Tipping Point. But could I have my car back, please, or my truck or my scooter? I'm so confused by my 'ride'. When I was younger, my 'ride' was somebody else's mom picking me up at the roller rink. Oh, and alum? It's a cheap and easy way of getting around the confusion of alumni (plural) and alumnus (singular) which apparantly people who write newsletters can't sort out for themselves. And 'expresso'? What IS that, instant coffee? It's espresso, peeps! Wil, I think you are already BotU, but nobody's paying you for it yet.
Posted by: cybele | March 29, 2006 09:14 AM
Dude,
I am so there with you.
I can't stand it when people shorten words. Those are two of the most annoying.
Of course, I come from the "Land of incorrectly used language," good ole Philadelphia, PA.
YO!
Posted by: MJ | March 29, 2006 09:22 AM
Mmmmm... roast peeps! But beware of the Melted sugary diabetes inducing coating. It'll burn your mouth if yer not careful.
Posted by: Lance Brown | March 29, 2006 02:52 PM
Wow... I'm in 12th grade and I've got to write a paper for Friday about some aspect of high school (for a book my AP Lit class is doing with the theme "the truth about high school") and this just gave me an awesome idea!! I think I'll write a satire about the stupid words people use nowadays... something about internet lingo working its way into normal conversation maybe. Yeah! That's how I'll open my paper, mayB w/ sum deets abt my peeps. Hooray! It creeps me out that people actually do write like this -
http://www.cnn.com/2003/EDUCATION/03/03/offbeat.text.essay.reut/
Posted by: Kristen | March 29, 2006 08:19 PM
When I heard the word "deets" I can't help but think of the Danny Glover character in Lonesome Dove...
*cricket noises, wind sighing thru sagebrush*
Posted by: Ignatz | March 30, 2006 08:26 AM
YES! I never heard the deets word used like that but I hate the peeps thing. I really wish people would stop saying "enjoy" to me everytime I buy coffee. Don't tell me what to do with my coffee! What if it's not even for me. sheesh...I feel better now.
Posted by: Cherikooka Munga | March 30, 2006 02:54 PM
When our Alien/Robotic/Zombie overlords finally make their bloody/bloodless/passive-agressive takeover of humanity (which I welcome by the way) those who have inflicted crimes against teh English language, both written and spoken, (h4x0rz 5p34k doesn't count because it takes actual thought and analytical capacity) will be the first to go. "You will RUE the day! START RUING!"
P.S. The Republicans are second. Get ready you short-sided, rapacious @$$h01e5.
(before you flame me, look it up... In a dictionary. You might find one in a library (a.k.a. "That place that has all the books- well used to have ALL the books before the right-wingers started burning them".) Now they just have *most* of the books. They should at least have a slightly singed pocket Thesaurus.)
Oops... was I ranting? Sorry. It happens sometimes... Move along... Nothing to see here...
Posted by: D3vilD0g | April 1, 2006 09:25 AM
I don't think I had ever actually heard anyone use the word "deets" instead of details until yesterday on the radio, and I must say that I share your abhorrence for it. 'twas almost as grating as fingernails on a chalkboard.
Posted by: kblue | April 12, 2006 12:58 PM