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February 06, 2002

Mister Mastodon Farm

It's been a long day, and I should really be going to bed...but Anne is still out in Riverside, working on "Neverland", and I know that I won't be able to sleep until she's back...

Do any of you married or living-in-sin types feel this way? If I know that she's staying with one of her friends, or something, I can go to sleep at 9, and sleep like a baby...but if I know that she's coming home, and I get into bed, I sleep fitfully, and wake with a start after about 90 minutes, absolutely convinced that she's been smeared all over the freeway.

So I don't even try to get to sleep now. I just wait up for her, listening to CAKE, and working on the website. I was playing Diablo II:LOD on BattleNet, but the farking lag was so bad, I got killed twice. Reminds me of the old MUDding days, when I'd go to kill Tiamat, and the happy text messages would slow, stop, and then I'd see something like:

Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
You are really hurt, now.
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
You are feeling faint.
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
You are nearly dead.
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
You have died.
You are near a healer. "Mmblfggzpth," the Healer says.

I wonder if that's funny to anyone but me?

Anyway, enough about Lag. Let's talk about "Neverland", shall we?

This movie is really amazing. My friend Damion adapted the book "Peter Pan", and is retelling the story, featuring homeless kids as The Lost Boys, a Transvestite as Tiger Lilly, and a Leather Daddy as Hook. It's really twisted, and really amazing, too. I play John Darling, and I'm getting to work with a bunch of really accomplished stage actors in this movie.

Because Hook is a S&M guy, we shot in a real-life S&M dungeon on Sunday, and I gotta tell you, it was a really...interesting...experience. I was initially really freaked out by the place, but, after spending quite a bit of time talking with the head Dominatrix who runs the place, I figured out that my feeling freaked out was based entirely on erroneous preconceptions. That world is totally not my thing, but I have a much better understanding of the whole lifestyle. My favoreit moment of the entire day was when she was about to tie me up. I told the still photographer that he couldn't take any stills of me all bound, because there are freaks out there who will take those pictures and do...unnatural...things with them. She realized that I was that guy from Star Trek, and she told me that I was "her guy" on TNG. I guess she and all her friends chose who their "guys" were, and she choo-choo-choosed me, even though all her friends thought I was a dork.

So when she was tying my hands for the scene, I think she enjoyed it a little too much...but I was flattered, anyway ;-)

We shot today at this really crappy, totally run-down amusement park, that is like a small version of Knott's Berry Farm, but with traveling carnival rides made permanent, if that makes sense....oh, and there's about 10 people in the whole place.

Anne, Stephanie, and Elyse (the line producer), and I all went into the "Haunted Mansion", which was little more than one of those things you see at Coney Island, you know? It's really just a makeout ride, right? Well, we walked through it...al 25 feet of it, in the dark, "Scooby Doo" style, with just a flashlight. It was very subversive, and we almost got caught by some security drones.

Speaking of Security, I had a callback at Warner Brothers this morning, and holy shit! The security is insane! They checked my ID, and made me open my trunk, and I had to drive around these barriers, like I was going into an embassy. There are all these freaky, Gothic-style posters everywhere, too, extolling the virtues of "checking that mail twice" and "guarding your badge: it's on you when you're on the lot!"...they all looked like those old propaganda posters from WWII...but I was happy to see the security, even if it did make me 15 minutes late for my audition.

Speaking of auditions, I did not book the LA LAW gig, but the casting director told my rockin' managers that I was, and I quote, "far and away the best actor we saw". She went on to tell them that they cast someone who just looked way more like the guy whose son I would have been playing. At first, I was bummed, because I thought, well, the streak continues...but I feel really good about it. I mean, I absolutely did my best work, with each part of the process that I had any control over.

It also looks like I won't get the pilot that I had my callback for today, because they are looking for someone more "quirky", but the casting director really liked what I did, and was impressed with my funny. Trust me, there are worse things in life than having a casting director at Warner Brothers be impressed with my funny! Anyway, it's only the first week of February, and there's a lot of pilot season left. This is going to be a good year.

Today's thought comes from LM:

"Only those who do nothing please everyone."

Posted by wil at February 6, 2002 11:15 PM

and where and when will we be able to see neverland?! s&m, gotta love the ladies...

Posted by: zak at February 6, 2002 11:18 PM

and not to harp on the old issue, but i'd pitch in a couple bucks on paypal to give you wife flowers than to give to charity. i'm a freak, whatever, but romance hits closer to home for a lot of people

Posted by: zak at February 6, 2002 11:21 PM

Hey Wil, I totally relate to the wife-smear-on-the-freeway-thing. Heck, I'm up waiting for MY wife to come home from work. :D

And had I not been around here for a little while, I'd say something like "OMG! Wil Wheaton plays on BattleNet?!" Now I'm just going...HEY! Wanna play sometime? ;)

The whole Neverland thing sounds cool. Weird, but cool. I'd be pretty damned freaked in an environment like that meself. :D

Anywho...I'm blathering 'cause I'm waiting for my wife. Heh!

Have a great night all!

Posted by: CanadianKnight at February 6, 2002 11:24 PM

Sounds like an ah... interesting... movie, Wil. Give us more info... when will it be available? :-) I mean, you all tied up... haha... that's a joke, ok? Yeah, see this useless ramble is me also waiting up, but unfortunately not for a SO. While you will be having a nice dinner with Mrs. Wheaton I will be spending the day alone... geez I'm depressing myself now... I need to stop. So I will. Goodnite.

Posted by: Jess Lat at February 6, 2002 11:41 PM


All this inside info about Neverland is making me salivate to see it. No sense asking when it will be out, I know you don't know, and you don't know when you'll know, so I'll just say my ticket's as good as bought. It's good when work is fun.


Posted by: Dude at February 6, 2002 11:41 PM

Aw, Wil, ya didn't have to delete my post ;-)

Posted by: Exocet at February 6, 2002 11:41 PM

Heh...I happen to be a Living-in-sin type thank you...and yes Wil, I -do- understand what that's like. I work Midnights, my Common Law hubby goes to school during the day.
He's gone by the time I get home from work, and I can't sleep untill he gets home. So I end up only sleeping maybe five hours, before I have to be back at work. :-S
I know how it goes man, it's worse when either one of us is away for the week-end (Damn Army training). The other is worried that the one throwing the live grenades might end up comming home with limbs missing or in parts.
Never happens though. :-)
I only worry about him eating and being able to amuse himself, never about injuries. I swear, if I wasn't living with him, he'd never eat, he'd never do laundry, and he'd never leave the house.

Posted by: Kaylin at February 6, 2002 11:48 PM

Wil, I know what it's like when your honey is gone and away, and you have no idea where exactly she is. I don't normally sleep when she is gone, and I work graveyards. I also live in a smaller town, so you'd think there would be less to worry about. Oh no. not my worrywort of a mind. :)

And I can totally releate to your Mudding experience. I've had the same problems.
But what I enjoyed doing what at a certain level you could 'emote' meaning you would type something and the game would print out "Kovar smiles at the goblin"
I loved freaking players out. typing stuff like
"Kovar finds a hidden trap door"
"Kovar leaves down"
then watch all the players in that particular room trying to find the secret door that didn't exist.

Now the movie. Well, being a real life submissive, i'm interested in seeing the movie...heheheh, Unca willy all bound. Give me the giggles. :)

Anywho, have fun, be young, drink whatever you want.


Posted by: Draxenn at February 7, 2002 12:00 AM

This will be the very first time I have posted anything here! I check in often and am always pleased to see that I WAS RIGHT all those years ago when I insisted to all my Trekkie friends that Wesley (and by extension you, Wil) was not to be trashed! BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Sorry, The point is I am really excited about you being in the next TNG movie and reading about "Neverland" has got me interested in seeing it and re-reading "Peter Pan." It's always fun to re-read something with someone's "slightly different" adaptaion in mind.

One last thing, I understand about the staying awake thing as well. My husband is in the military and I can never sleep when I know he's coming home but I don't know when.


Posted by: Robin at February 7, 2002 12:05 AM

Hey Wil: I will freely admit that I too, choo-choo-choosed you as "my guy" on TNG.

Well, I suppose I should clarify that -- blasphemy I know, but I was the black sheep in my group of friends when it came to being an avid Star Trek fan (ie. I am not one). BUT! If my pals bound me to a chair [see, I'm subtly referencing your S&M comments!] and forced me to watch the series, at least I would do my part in raising a fist to the sky and shouting, "Wil Wheaton better make an appearance, by god!" ;)

By the way, in the Scooby Doo-esque "Haunted Mansion" scenario -- were you Fred or Shaggy? :)

Posted by: Lisa J. at February 7, 2002 12:11 AM

S&M. "John Darling". Hmmm, good porn name. Way to go, Wil. No wonder the Warner Brothers goons wanted to "check your trunk".


Posted by: Nuclear Toast at February 7, 2002 12:15 AM

There I was...lying in bed...and I couldn't sleep because my hubby-to-be (yes - we're the livin'-in-sin type) is still down town at work. So, I decided to get out of bed, check out this site and lo and behold I see that Wil Wheaton (and others as judging from comments above) is up feeling roughly the same way I do. Of course, part of my being up also has to do with the fact that I'm still reeling a little bit from 9-11. :( I moved to New York three days before it happened, so I'm still a little jumpy when I'm by myself and hubby-to-be is away. It's nice to see, though, that others are up with me, too. :)

Neverland sounds really cool and, well, odd. Can't wait till it comes out.

By the way Wil, I wanted to say with regards to the Valentine's Day thing - You can please the people some of the time, but you can't please the people all of the time. Don't beat yourself up over it- it's not worth it- the majority of us still love you! :)

Posted by: Nayir at February 7, 2002 12:16 AM

I can relate to the smeared on the freeway thing, only it's my kid I'm convinced is lying somewhere bleeding to death. If he tells me he's not coming home that night, fine (whathefuk, he's 18, he can do that), I don't leave a light on and I fall asleep. If he doesn't mention it (oh bytheway, I'm going God knows where and staying out until daybreak, but don't worry, I'm not screwing anything with cooties), the tiny little annoying light gets left on in the living room, and I wake up every 20 minutes to see if the light's gone out. Then I worry, and cuss his little ass out (mentally of course) for having the balls to have a life and stay out. If the Spouse Thingy isn't home... eh, I sleep. But we've been married 20 years.

And cheezus, you think WB has security, try living on an Air Force Base right now!

Posted by: Thumper at February 7, 2002 12:20 AM

...and WTF am I doing up at 12:20 playing on the computer...? Fricking insomnia.

Posted by: Thumper at February 7, 2002 12:21 AM

Loose lips sink ships.
Is this trip really necessary?
The enemy may be listening.
60 years from now, will there be any remembered phrases from today's conflict other than "Let's roll!" (TM) ?

Posted by: Fred Fowler at February 7, 2002 12:29 AM


I've been playing Diablo on Battle Net, waiting for Anne to get home, and, no joke, as soon as she walks in, and I've gotten Diablo down to about 20% remaining, with my level 27 Druid, the craptastic BattleNet CRASHES! Boots me off, and everything.

Oh well. It was time to go to sleep, anyhow :)

Posted by: wil at February 7, 2002 12:52 AM


I've been playing Diablo on Battle Net, waiting for Anne to get home, and, no joke, as soon as she walks in, and I've gotten Diablo down to about 20% remaining, with my level 27 Druid, the craptastic BattleNet CRASHES! Boots me off, and everything.

Oh well. It was time to go to sleep, anyhow :)

Posted by: wil at February 7, 2002 12:54 AM

Ha. Even *I* mess up and make the double post.

I could delete it..but I think this is funnier.

Posted by: wil at February 7, 2002 12:55 AM

Program hello_wil;

uses crt;

writeln ('Hello Wil!');

Print "Hello Wil!"



cout return 0;


Would someone please arest me? I need help! :-)

und tschŁss

Posted by: Phil hates the masters of the Codeiverse at February 7, 2002 01:01 AM

LA Law? Still exists?

Good, it really is pilot season. I thought my actor email-pal was making that up so he didn't have to answer my email. Good luck with that avant-garde sounding movie, and as this guy named Bill Mallonnee once sang, "Sometimes you can't please everyone, sometimes you can't please anyone at all, you sew your heart onto your sleeve and wait for the axe to fall..."

Posted by: tammy at February 7, 2002 01:02 AM

Ugh...I liked Diablo 2 when it first came out. The Druid was alright, but I seriously Dig the Amazon.
I never play on Battlenet, simply because I hate the PKer's that frequent the place, that and all the Guilds trying to recruit newbies. *rolls eyes*

Anyways, have a good night Wil, and smooch that Lady of yours a few times to let her know you're happy she's home...alive...and in one peice.

Posted by: Kaylin at February 7, 2002 01:28 AM

i have to wait up for my partner in sin even when he is home. i can't get to sleep in an empty bed now so i end up like i did last night, slumped in the corner of his office watching him reinstalling another puter until the early hours of the morning.

oh, i love peter pan. it is the saddest book i have ever read. i nearly cried at the end when he came back for wendy but was scared of her because she had grown up. oops, hope everyone else has already read it.

Posted by: susie at February 7, 2002 01:38 AM

hate to be a bastard... but when is the fark vs SA voting going to be done? :)

Posted by: Scopa at February 7, 2002 02:17 AM

If my fiance is away from home, I don't even try to go to sleep. I just sit on the couch and play 'What Twisted Scenario Can I Think Up Next?'. I'm no stranger to the "slippery slope".

If I'm gone, he worries about me, too... although he has the good sense to worry IN BED, in case he actually falls asleep. However, without fail, he's wide awake when I get home.

Paranoia is the #1 sign of true love, my friends.

Posted by: Paradoxfalls (the reader formerly known as 'Jessika') at February 7, 2002 02:37 AM

Wil wrote:

"It also looks like I won't get the pilot that I had my callback for today, because they are looking for someone more "quirky"..."

Oh, come on. We've read your web site - you're PLENTY quirky.

What IS the matter with them?

Posted by: Bill Bekkenhuis at February 7, 2002 02:42 AM

Okay, my eyeballs are dissolving. I've been online waaaay too long and my guy is home, so I should be in bed. Just wanted to say good luck during pilot season. The mojo will be set to 'continuous flow'. G'night, all...

Posted by: Paradoxfalls at February 7, 2002 02:52 AM

my boyfriend lives quite a while away from me and every time he comes down to visit, no matter how he's travelling, i'm convinced that will be the end.
i always thought i was just a pessimist. but obviously it's a normal thing to feel!

Posted by: ems at February 7, 2002 02:57 AM

Sounds like "Neverland" should be a lot more fun than "Hook". (Although that does sound a bit like I'm damning it with faint praise, given how bad "Hook" was - but I digress).

Probably a bit late now but remember to tense your muscles in your forearms next time; it can give you just enough slack in the ropes to escape. It also helps if you can dislocate your thumb at will. And remember that there will always be a sharp rock or a bit of glass or a circular saw or something that you can cut the ropes with. Or have I watched too many "Charlie's Angels" episodes?

Posted by: Dai Vernon at February 7, 2002 03:29 AM

(recite with face squeezed between two immovable objects):


Posted by: jbay at February 7, 2002 03:39 AM

OK. Let me get straight: Wil gets tied up in a S&M dungeon by a "Wesley Crusher" ST fan and it is on film. Life IS good. :-) By the way, I am glad your wife got home.

Posted by: adeversole at February 7, 2002 04:45 AM

I'm the same way, after 7 years of marriage. I just can't sleep if I know he'll be home 'eventually'. And I'm married to a computer programmer/sysadmin, so there's a lot of nights when he'll be home 'when we're done', and a lot of times that becomes 4am, and I wake up every ten minutes and I can't call him at work because odds are he's in the server room and not reachable.

Quirky? Wil is Qwirky!

Good luck on pilot auditions, the world Needs More Wil!

Posted by: Aiela at February 7, 2002 05:01 AM

OK... so I understand the worried bit. Even if I am no longer married, when my kids are returning home, and even the slightest bit late I think... yep they are hurt. There are times when my boyfriend is running late, and I get bad visions. And I understand the lag issue thing too, even though my "poison" wasnt Diablo II.

Good quote today. I learned a long time ago, you cant make EVERYONE happy. Just try not to piss of the important ones :)


Posted by: Amy at February 7, 2002 05:24 AM

I'll say this for time zones-it's kinda wild seeing lots of activity on the board appear between the time I go to bed and the time I check this site before working.

I am definitely that way with my wife. Before we had our daughter, she was working in IS for a health care facility, which would usually mean she could get called in at odd hours of the night or she might have to work the graveyard shift to do an install. I'd never be able to sleep well on those nights until she at least called to let me know she got in safely. And I was a complete wreck when she was pregnant and still had to do that.

Neverland sounds really...warped, but definitely an original take on things. I just know there's a smart-ass comment somewhere about the whole "Wil being tied" thing, but it's just too early for me to find it.

Besides, whatever I come up with would be blown away by a Spudnuts comment anyway. :)

Sorry you didn't get those two gigs. I had heard about the LA Law reunion (I assume that this was the big time MOW your were referring to in earlier entries)and was looking forward to seeing it, but it would have been even cooler if you had been in it. Still, if I understand the "system" correctly, it sounds good that you've lodged yourself in the heads of some casting directors, which I think means they ought to be considering you a lot more in the future.

Be good-especially if there's more of these Dominatrix scenes ;) By the way-what was Anne's reaction to that?

Posted by: Jon at February 7, 2002 05:29 AM

Well guess what? Mr. Wheaton (sir) you really
really rally ARE like everyone else...and yes
that's fine..or maybe a little scary if you
consider some of the folks in your posse..
But hey its ok...and we return again and again to
the scene of the crime just to make sure you
ARE still one of us. We love you uncle willy

Sidebar note..I nominate myself as the president
of the Spudnuts and Roughy fan club.

"Spudnuts and Roughy"..Would't that make a great

Posted by: bluecat/redblanket at February 7, 2002 05:52 AM

WIL! You got Fark to take down the link too! I should never have said anything! There are more people who understood what was going on than not. And someone else (was you?) was right when they said that it was probably because of the bloggies. It isn't anyone that knows you! HA HA! At least I got MY donation in!


Posted by: brandy at February 7, 2002 06:01 AM

They fight...

And bite...

And fight and bite and fight...

The Spudnuts and Roughy Show!

I really ought to get to work now...

Posted by: Jon at February 7, 2002 06:15 AM

Being married is a wierd thing... or more to the point, it does weird things too you.

Unable to sleep when spouse is not home yet is probably just one of the normal things... I would say that if you did NOT feel the way you do when your spouse is not at home, then something is wrong.. :)

Posted by: Glenn at February 7, 2002 06:21 AM

It says Choo-Choo-CHOOSE you. And there's a picture of a train!

Posted by: Grammar Girl at February 7, 2002 06:32 AM

Come on Wil, you can come clean with us--this S&M dungeon is actually research for your Valentine's Day date, right? ;-)

Posted by: Dave at February 7, 2002 06:40 AM

Yep, this year will be a good one.

Yes indeedy.

You'll snag your next gig soon, man.

Posted by: turtles11 at February 7, 2002 06:50 AM


I really do wish you luck. You have such a positive attitude. I have a question, though. What happens when you get sick?? I mean today I have a totally bad cold and stuff, and I'm wondering how you manage such things when you have such a tight schedule.

Also, did you happen to check out the Naked Dancing Llama? I was hoping you would.


Posted by: Christopher Feyrer at February 7, 2002 07:00 AM

my school (I teach at a 7-12 high school) did Peter Pan a few weeks ago and I helped out with it. after reading the post about the "s&M Cap'n Hook" I don't think I can face the kid who played hook without roflao now. it's not a good thing when we boring teachers think this way hehe.


Posted by: jadis at February 7, 2002 07:15 AM

Re: "Spudnuts And Roughy Show"

I get dibs on the comic adaptation.

And the Spudnuts and Roughy Sno-cone maker.

Posted by: Rob Matsushita at February 7, 2002 08:10 AM

Hey Wil!

I definitely understand the MUD reference... what did you play? ROM 2.4 based or LP? I can't believe you were a mudder.. it takes so much time and you don't seem like someone that has much.

Posted by: Snake Factory at February 7, 2002 08:23 AM

I feel like a dork cuz I'm usually a lurker. I like to read, but rarely contribute. I know exactly how it feels to try to sleep without the significant other next to you. My hubby's in the active duty Army. It's not being splattered on the freeway I'm worried about, though. Security seems tight at the studio? Ha, try getting on post at one of the more famous Army posts in the nation. Random vehicle searches, ID (as in military) checks, and guys with big guns are the norm.

"Neverland" on a 'brighter' note sounds like fun. I really like when someone takes a child's fairy tale and turns it into something sick and twisted for adults. Makes me think of that Reese Witherspoon movie that was based on "Little Red Riding Hood."

Posted by: Andrea at February 7, 2002 08:23 AM

Sounds like you've been busy! Good for you! Unfortunately my acting luck hasn't been on the up and up. Oh well... what can you do, right? Just keep plugging. I wish you luck on the rest of the pilot season!

Posted by: Jennifer at February 7, 2002 08:40 AM

HOLY SHIT, you play D2:LOD too?? this amazes me, i never would have suspected it... in fact i was playing at roughly the same time you were last night... if you ever want help leveling or doing a quest or running some cow levels, /w *daeronos and see if im on... im a level 83 necro (and no, i dont summon lag monsters) and id be honored to play along-side with you

Posted by: daepheus at February 7, 2002 08:48 AM

Damn! If someone did take a Big Bondage Willy's Big Bondage Boat Ride photo it could have wound up on FARK in a Photoshop contest.

Oh well, it's probably for the best.

Of course, FARK could come up with a Photoshop contest of an ordinary Wil Wheaton photo and ask people to photoshop it into bondage scenes...

(Wil, I know you'll hate me if this comes to pass - if it does, I'm sorry. A little.)

Posted by: David Brown at February 7, 2002 08:51 AM

Ooh, you didn't have to go to Castle Park, did you? That place is pretty weak.

Choo-choo-choose you. LOL. Sad I got that one. (I spend WAY too much time in front of the telly.)

Posted by: Timmy! at February 7, 2002 08:59 AM

You were into MUDing? Though I didn't think it possible, you're even geekier than you look! For some reason people aren't as interested in MUDding anymore now that there's MMPOGs like Everquest and Dark Age of Camelot out there. Anyway, I'm still a loyal mudaholic. Since you brought up the subject of MUDs and most of the people who read these boards probably have no idea what a MUD is like, I'll suggest one. Try Shades of Glory at shades.darktech.org 1234.
Dragonlance themed MUD, interesting players, nice Immortals. I'm letting you know that at least one person found your MUD reference funny. Mostly funny because you say you actually could kill Tiamat. Just out of curiosity, what MUDs did you frequent?

Posted by: Markov Chaney at February 7, 2002 09:21 AM

Mister Mastodon Farm is the best song Cake ever made. I don't understand what the hell it's about, but it suuure is groovy.

Posted by: hoot at February 7, 2002 09:23 AM

Tis funny that you'd be worried about stills of you all tied up. People are gonna take vidcaps of the scene like crazy when Neverland hits VHS/DVD.

Besides considering there's "fake" nude pics of you floating out there, does it really matter anymore?

*evil grin*

But I digress... Neverland sounds WAY interesting... I'm really looking forward to it and will probably buy the DVD.

As for mudding... I still do it... I've been faithful to the best mud ever, Chalacyn Nights, for 5 years now. I may stop for a while here and there but I never feel the inclination to go elsewhere... even to "upgrade" to graphical ones like Everquest.

My SO when we first started being serious was saying he wanted me to try out Diablo 2 if he came to Chalacyn with me but hmm.... its been a year and he hasn't pushed but we spend our available time on Chalacyn still!!

God i love that place... I miss it cause the owners moved on Dec 31st and they're waiting for the new high bandwidth connection at their new place before they can put the Triworlds back up.

*suffering Chalacyn withdrawal*

Anyways... how geeky am I that all I have to do is wake up, roll over and turn the monitor on to be online... the knock knock of Yahoo made me do it and it was the momma so I started talking to her... then browsed over here while I wait for her to tell me the latest...

Posted by: Megalion at February 7, 2002 09:24 AM

btw... those who do nothing... piss a bunch of people off for being lazy good for nothing bums...

good luck on the pilots, audition for something on the 70s show!!

Posted by: Megalion at February 7, 2002 09:25 AM

wait, which realm... USEast or USWest?

Posted by: daepheus at February 7, 2002 09:39 AM

Mr. Wheaton, SIR!

Rather disappointing. Everyone knows that you should always stay sanc'd up when fighting Tiamat or Ares or the like. The Great Red Dragon and the big green dragon (as opposed to the one in the cave west of Midgaard, near Arachnos) can generally be taken without sancing up, though you have to watch out for big red's fire breath.

Sucks to lose a bag filled with quest eq, neh?

Personally, I always liked the bug where mobs would go nuts if you used too many charmies on them. I'll see if I have a log of that somewhere....

It doesn't suck as bad as getting rocked in a 17-on-1 pk, though there's a certain amount of glory in taking down four of those 17 in the process.

Lust that, bizzatch.

JSc, recovering mudder.

Posted by: JSc at February 7, 2002 09:46 AM

Well, Wil and all, I am married, have been for over four years now, and my better half and I have never spent a night apart during all this time... So I'm I don't know what it's like - and I'm bloody sure I don't want to find out...

As to the whole idea of taking you wife out for V-Day on WWDN - I think you should! She's a saint for putting up with being an "internet widow", because I wouldn't be so generous with my husband's time. So she (and you) SO deserves a whole evening for just the two of you.

Posted by: SpaceCadet at February 7, 2002 09:49 AM

Oh yes, the pain of MUD lag. I remember playing over a 2400baud modem when I was in middle school. To make it worse, since the freenet I was using only allowed limited Telnet access, I had to telnet to a sister freenet, and then telnet to the MUD from there.


It was painful, but what else are you gonna do? Go outside?!?

Posted by: Wrenkin at February 7, 2002 09:54 AM

LOL I often talk about playing Chalacyn over a 2400 baud modem that first year... (Fall 96-Spring 97)

Esp when people these days bitch about the Lag overly much. It happens... be smart and don't attempt big fights.

Posted by: Megalion at February 7, 2002 10:03 AM

"Neverland" sounds amazingly like the old Jim Steinman (Meat Loaf's songwriter) idea of the same name - with the lost boys as a teenage motercycle gang. Just about any good Meat Loaf song you've ever heard was probably based on that idea. I'm looking forward to it.

Posted by: Michael Doss at February 7, 2002 10:45 AM

I think we should get Bendependent to do a Spudnut and Roughy cartoon!

Ben! I know you're reading this! Ben!

How much do you charge for flash toons?

Posted by: T at February 7, 2002 11:31 AM

Hi Wil,

I really shouldn't visit your site while I am at work. My assistant keeps catching me surfing. I just can't seem to wait until I get all the way home though. I have absolutely no clue about all the games you talk about but it sounds like you're good at them. (Mental note - give hubby a big hug and kiss tonight for not being interested in video games).
I really am going to have to check out 'Neverland'. Who would have ever imagined, Wil Wheaton in bondage gear. Interesting. I used to have trouble sleeping when hubby was out and about but I got over it. I think that's a good thing, lol.
Anyway, back to work, my boss keeps walking by my office, checking up on me (sheesh).

Posted by: fenaray at February 7, 2002 11:42 AM

I met my husband online in a MUd (which is sad I guess, heh) well a paid MUD...Gemstone 3...years ago after it first came on AOL. Talk about expensive gaming then, ugh.

Anyway, two years later after we each had time and several trips with other people there to make sure the other was not a complete psycho, I moved out and a few years after that we were married. Occasionally I will visit my parents here and there. Not much fun in flying across the country alone without your husband...and he always says how nervewracking it was for the week until I came back. "What if you were killed and I wasn't there with you!" I miss him too, but he's even worse than I am. ;)

Even five years after we've been living together (our third wedding anniversary is in March) I still get horribly nervous and anxious if he's late...once he was an hour and a half late (the train station is fifteen minutes away) and my stomach was most twisty.

Every day when I see him after our respective workdays are over, it is the best feeling...like, now I can do anything because everything that matters is right here.

Posted by: slady at February 7, 2002 11:51 AM

Jeez. Paying to mud? I seriously can't imagine that.

Then again, people pay for slightly worse things like heroin, crack, meth, etc.

Hm. Since everyone else is dropping mud names, I may as well join the crowd....

I cut my mudding teeth on Sanctuary (the mud, not that bizarre S&M chat that was operating under the name "Sanctuary" for a while), then on to Carrion Fields and Illusions of the Mind (IotM is utterly worthless, the head imp is a crazed wench. But that's part of a far more amusing delving into the depths of her insanity, to be saved for a future story!). I spent a little time at Medievia (which will sell you mud eq for RL cash. How cracked is that?), then World's End and Aydindril, where I did a little imming. I'm currently trying not to play another mud called "The Great Hunt," despite how entertaining it is to log in and pkill everyone in range....

I have to say, though, that playing an engr on TFC is almost as entertaining as playing an elf mage back on Sanc....

Posted by: JSc at February 7, 2002 11:59 AM

Ack, sorry about the auditions. The community theater I do is really a lot less to worry about, but I empathize.

Ah, I miss those days of MUDding. Did it at school, where it was "free"(well, besides that pesky tuition and room/board). Enjoyed it for a while, met some people. When it started shifting to pay for play, and when I had to pay for dialup sessions, obviously I reconsidered. :)

Posted by: Jon(another one) at February 7, 2002 01:18 PM

*Still laughing over the Tiamat's claws eviscerates SHAFT bit*

Ah yes. I remember muds. Today they have a fancy new name - MMORPGs, and brand-spakin'shiny new graphics but they're just as evil as before, and lag kills you just as badly if not worse.

Wil you're such a geek - dat's why I love ya!

Posted by: Athena at February 7, 2002 01:33 PM

oh, yeah, did I mention I met my better half in the mIRC chat room...?

Posted by: SpaceCadet at February 7, 2002 01:51 PM

Wil, sorry to hear about disappointing call-backs. . . way to keep a good atiitude about it all, tho. Sending you mojo for the rest of pilot season.

PS glad Anne got home okay.

Posted by: Superb Human Bean at February 7, 2002 01:55 PM

I think I'll love "neverland" I always like the different takes on old tales

freeway - reese witherspoon and Kiefer Sutherland in a little red riding hood take-off

freeway 2 - Natasha Lyonne and david allen greir in a take off of hansel and gretel


tromio and juliette - troma's take on romeo and juliette

hope to add nvrland to this list soon :P

Posted by: mecharossilla at February 7, 2002 02:26 PM

[Sigh.] Doesn't anybody play Trade Wars anymore? :-)

Posted by: Timmy! at February 7, 2002 02:29 PM

I'm livin' in sin, and I feel the same way. If my boyfriend isn't back from class when he's supposed to be, or late getting home from work, I can't do anything but worry. These aren't usually "sleep" times, but the worry requires pretty much my full attention too. It's love.

Posted by: chica at February 7, 2002 02:56 PM

wow...hook me up with the info on that movie! ive been waiting for this forever! no...not really...i just think its funny...but im gonna make all my friends go see it with me! i tell them my fave site is WWDN, and theyre like, what? oh the star trek guy?
so i gotta show them that this guy wil (sir!...buahahah i love that...all those ppl who call you sir) can do some serious acting!

Posted by: colleen at February 7, 2002 03:09 PM

Wil, my husband does the exact same thing. He is a military pilot (he flies helo's) and even though he is the one with the dangerous job, he worries about me coming home from a class late or studying too late at the library. And Lord forbid I'm late, he gets all worried and scared...and hugs me for 5 minutes as soon as I walk in the door-like I've narrowly escaped death or something. It's a wonderful thing to have your mate and best friend love you so much, and exhibit genuine, heartfelt concern for you-even if it keeps them up in the wee hours of the night,I feel very fortunate for this. When he's off on a mission, he says he never sleeps as good as he does when he's at home with me. (That's when I'm up late praying like mad that his helo stays in the air and he comes home intact) You're a good husband Wil, she's very lucky.

Posted by: indigosoul at February 7, 2002 03:13 PM

Somehow....I can't stop.....I am addicted....can't get enough of Wil and his posse. Do they have 12 step programs for this sort of thing?

Posted by: Sedthegirl at February 7, 2002 03:59 PM

NO "Sedthegirl"(neat name) there is not! And we are all very glad for that so don't anyone go and invent one...

Spudnuts and Roughy Show!
Spudnuts and Roughy Show!
You just have to go......
You can't say no.........

Spudnuts and Roughy Show!
Spudnuts and Roughy Show!
This time they went so low
It gives them room to grow!

Hm perhaps tooooo much liquid refreshment here.

Posted by: bluecat-redblanket at February 7, 2002 04:28 PM

you know, ive decided...when i first saw the whole store and all the merchandise, i was like, "woah there horsie...have a drink of water..."
coz yeah...that and im not one for online shopping...
but ima gonna have to get me some of that WWDN swag...coz im totally part of the posse! i am the posse for christs sake! (kay, i wont go that far...) and i want a william farking shatner mig or something...and the chocolates! yeah man!
im off to do a little shopping

Posted by: colleen at February 7, 2002 05:29 PM

Don't know if anyone will see this...but fucking BattleNet not only crashed, it took all my experience, close to 60K gold, and somehow killed off my hireling.


Posted by: wil at February 7, 2002 07:57 PM

That sucks. It reminds me of when the network goes down at work and eats my Access databases. I know it's not QUITE the same... but I feel your pain.

Posted by: kendoka at February 7, 2002 08:06 PM

After almost 15 years of marriage and 2 of engagement before that, I can say I still don't sleep well if he's not home. He's an OB/Gyn and so subject to weird jaunts at all hours. I think it means the "L" word, dude. Congrats to you and Anne and I'll be praying that it continues.

Posted by: kazfeist at February 7, 2002 08:08 PM

Let me guess - the "small version of Knott's" wouldn't happen to be Castle Park in Riverside, would it? The local radio station gave tickets away once - which I won - and I had no clue where this place was. I live near Death Valley - really - and drove there. The kids loved it - but I'd rather go to Knott's!

I've been known to worry about my spouse and also don't sleep well when he's gone. Not only do I think about if he's smeared on the street somewhere, but sometimes I catch myself trying to figure out what to do after the funeral... How to handle the kids... then I usually snap back to reality and either stay up late on the computer or read until my eyes won't stay open. By the looks of the posts, you aren't the only one.

Posted by: lisarizz at February 7, 2002 11:50 PM

Riverside is one hell of a hellhole.

Posted by: fireloong at February 8, 2002 02:08 AM

Don't worry "bluecat-redblanket" (interesting...) I certainly won't be starting a program for Wil Wheaton junkies anytime soon. Am enjoying being a voyer of the internet underbelly..... =) And I SO don't know any of the game stuff you all talk about is, but like a car accident, I can't help but watch.

Posted by: Sedthegirl at February 8, 2002 09:43 AM


ARGH!! Damned Batternet server!
You still interested in the book 'Computer Exorcisms and other Banishings of Digital Demons'?
I can send it post haste. :-)

Posted by: Kaylin at February 8, 2002 11:39 AM

Dear Wil

Thanks for sticking up for the SM community. I’ve worked at various clubs (and yes, even done some stuff…) and there are some wonderful people in the scene. Though I would add that there’s not really just one lifestyle. There are a lot of different tastes, but the common denominator is ‘safe, sane and consensual’. People who don’t stick to that get a bad reputation and find themselves very unpopular, very fast…

Not so long ago I saw a program where a group of people visited a club, had a laugh, even did some stuff and seemed to enjoy it… then the next day they were going on about how weird everyone was etc… Thanks for having the integrity to say what you really found to be the truth.

The movie sounds cool. But you have to know those pictures are going to end up on the web…

Posted by: Rowan at February 8, 2002 04:18 PM

Wil -
You only *think* there were no photos taken of you that day...

Oh, I'm kidding, damnit.


Posted by: sugarmama at February 8, 2002 05:03 PM

You would have to be 6'6" or taller to be any quirkier!

Waiting for your other-half to get home at night is the pits.....I have given up trying to sleep, I read WWDN instead...

Posted by: DrWHO? at February 8, 2002 06:52 PM

hey, isn't evisceration sort of a one-time-only kind of event? Just asking, because it might be important someday.

i'm feeling faint

Posted by: jbay at February 8, 2002 08:45 PM

YES, YES, YES! I used to MUD on an old (even back in '95) 286 laptop with a 2400 baud connection. I got very, very used to fighting in the Descent to Hell (vanilla Rom2.4) with about 5-10 seconds of lag time, and that was with a smooth connection. Most of the time the Lawyer from Hell would end up mincing me with his vampiric teeth before I could quaff enough pink potions or eat enough stooky glands to keep my hp up. But when I did finally beat him, what a feeling!

Ah, the memories :)

Posted by: Brett at February 10, 2002 02:13 AM


If you ever want some benevolent and social D2:LoD companions to watch your back in a laggy game, contact me at [email protected] and if I'm here, we can hook up and thrash some baddies.

I usually have 2-3 friends around, and we all love reading your site (I hit it at least bi-daily). We make a good support team.

This is gonna sound cheesy, but it's kinda like we know you already thanks to this, and I'm pretty certain you'd get along well with all of us despite our internet insanity. :)

And BTW, it is very normal to feel like that (regarding Anne). I live five hours from where my girlfriend goes to university and I get freaked out if she doesn't drop me a line to let me know she's at home, -every night-. And I'm not a nutcase, so by my reasoning, neither are you.


Posted by: Neph at February 10, 2002 10:03 AM

ha ha ha, first experince into the s&m world? goodness! i used to go to fetish balls every weekend!

Posted by: sohma dawling at February 11, 2002 02:38 PM

Ya know, I was quirky once.

It didn't work fer me.

Posted by: SLiDERPiMP at February 13, 2002 03:47 AM

Hey PPL!
Chalacyn is the best MUD ever created! Its finally back on after 42 long days of withdrawls(lol..yes i kept count)

Look for me in Chalacyn

*Dukhal bows before you*

Check out my Chalacyn Player Page @ www.TheGatesOfChalacyn.homestead.com

Dukhal The Tigris Thief Of Telere

Posted by: Dukhal The Tigris Thief Of Telere at February 13, 2002 08:23 AM

my sister does everythang what can I do?
somebody please help me

Posted by: bet at April 18, 2002 01:57 PM


I always thought you were ( and still are ) a great actor and after being turned on to you site I find that your also a great writer andÖWell hell just and all around great guy. But Iím confused about your comment on the still pictures? Freaks? To whom are you referring? Unnatural acts? Maybe Iím just too old but what on earth can they do with a photograph? Fantasize about you while spanking the Monkey? That Iím quite certain they do already. You of all people should understand the difference between fantasy and reality. Donít you like PORN, Arenít you using the girls in the same way youíre worried about people using you? If youíre that worried about it I would suggest you pass on roles that show you in that light. A good actor, I mean a good ACTOR makes ( helps? ) us forget the actor and think only of the character on the screen. The fact that people Still think of you as Wesley Crusher only proves how great an actor you are. I say let them take the pictures, you can sign them and sell them on your site for $100 each, Take the money and run, Use it to help put the kids through college. Do some good with it. What ever you do, youíll have my support.
Iíll buy your book because I like the way you write.
And Iíll see the movie when it comes out.
I wish you nothing but Health and Happiness.

Posted by: Tim who at March 10, 2003 04:51 PM

Gah! I ~really~ wan't to see never land now, which means I need to harass the indie theatres to getit in ;>

Looks ~very~ cool.

Posted by: Scooter at March 11, 2003 09:28 AM
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