Call a professional killer. Immediately.

i'm afraid you're going to have to get a fumigator. but then you won't have to worry about termites. but the good news is, you'll only have to be out of your house for like... three days?
but you get a neato tent for your house!

Those sonic things are a pile of crap. What you need is poison.

We had mice, got the thiggie, and we haven't seen the mice since....but it took a good month before they went away so I'm not sure you're willing to wait that long.

They work ... barely. You need an army of them to make any progress, and they sort of move out when they get sick of it, which can take a LONG time.

You might as well give it a shot as they are pretty cheap, but you will probably have to call a professional.

Just found the instructions of the sonic repeller: they say it's not effective by itself to get rid of rats and should be used "in an integrated pest management program". heh

Get a cat! Remember the nursery rhyme?

"This is the cat, that killed the rat, that are the malt, that lay in the house that Wil built!"

Seems to me there's something about cows with crumpled horns and maidens forlorn, but you needn't take it that far if alls you gots is rats.

My great-aunt had rats in her house. Those sonic "as seen on tv" things are a pile of crap. They don't work at all. She had mice in her walls, basement, and attic, and the numbers definately did not go down any. She didn't get rid of them until she called a professional exterminator and payed through the roof.

But, she's been rat-free for about two years now, so paying was worth it!!!!

Good luck!

I've found my singing to be a sonic repellent (repellant?)...I'm going to try to drive mine away by singing Copacabana and What A Feeling...and possibly a medley of the two.

Wil,

My parents used those when they found two mice in their house and the mice disappeared! They also say that there hasn't been a spider or bug around lately either.

Just what I know, hope it helps!

---ok this topic i can handle way better!
me being serious doesn't always come out right- i get all worked up and type way too fast--
--- sonic thingy- well unless that's your version of leaving out a combo meal w/ poison in it, I basically would bother. didn't I read once that you like CAts! better get a new one
-- Those glue traps work pretty cool too
-- Poison-
--- yess - lots of poison works
--but if you have the money to spend - i vote for the cool house tent and 3 day vay' cay'

I know some people like to be humane...
but poison works a lot better. It's not like the rats are trying to be nice to you by inhabiting your attic.

My parents put our cat in the attic over night and the furry fellow got em. Purfectly natural.

Coming from one who has lived in the proverbial cabin in the woods... the sonic things don't work for anything larger than a mouse.

Hire a professional ASAP.

Wil,
My advice would be to invest in some smart bombs. Send the wife and kids away for a day, then strategically set the bombs to go off in several of the rats' suspected strongholds. You won't get the head rat, since he'll have since infiltrated and subverted the denizens of your neighbors' house, but you should be able to kill at least a significant number of the innocent rats, who were probably living there and minding their own business long ago before being brainwashed by the head rat. In any case, those you don't kill directly will soon be starved to death.
Those who live by the sword of sarcasm...

Those things do not work.
They make great nightlights in the kitchen though.

ACK! all these heartless, inhumane comments!
i realize undomesticated rats can be pretty violent and inconsiderate, but just for the record i want you all to know that i have a 2 year old pet rat who is VERY sweet. . .he has never bitten anybody, and hardly ever has an accident outside his cage. he even licks my fingers if they have water on 'em or smell like food!

oh, to be a lonely vegetarian pacifist, killing time at work on a saturday evening. . .

aww you can't kill rats. They are innocent. LOL Jk. I'm sorry. how about getting a cat and sending it up into the attic? I'll send you mine. He a nasty bastard. He'll kill them. I just realize I can have a rather nasty side.

Chris: You're no Spudnuts, but keep trying. You have definite potential!

Re: Rats.... Um, yeah. Terriers were originally bred to hunt rats, but I don't know how well they'd climb around in the walls. I suspect that the easiest and fastest way to get rid of them is to either burn the house down, or get an exterminator.

The exterminator is probably cheaper in the long run.

You have our sincere sympathy. When we moved into our house, we had mice. A combination of De-con, and covering the hole in the wall they were coming in through with a piece of sheet metal worked great. Good Luck.

Wil,

It's Rich from the office (I don't think I should say the name of the co.). My friend at ICM was raving about how cool your website was, so I had to check it out - and my impression: a breath of fresh, umcompromising, honest air from someone who has experienced a lot of success in life in an industry who is desperately afraid of telling people what they really think. Not suprisingly, I especailly like ready about your audition experiences and quoting the phrase "my rockin' managers". It is very clear to me why my boss (again I don't think I should say the name) speaks so highly of you. Have a great weekend and I'm sure I'll speak to you on Monday.

Rich

PS. my hotmail account is up there beacause my company email is not working yet.

Wil! You have a dog, right? If you love her, in the name of all things holy, DO NOT try to poison these rats. Most rat poisons contain warfarin, a pretty brutal anticoagulent. If one of these poisoned rats were to die in, oh, say, the back yard, and Ferris got hold of it, she'd probably hemmorhage internally before you got her to the vet. Nasty stuff. Anyway, unless they're huge buggers, plain ol' spring traps usually do the trick.

Try to stay away from poisons, what with kids and pets and all.

Hi Wil,
I have one of those sonic things. Where I live big ugly palmetto bugs are the problem. The sonic thing seems to work. I don't see those unwelcome critters anymore.

I feel your pain with the rats. I have also had fruit rats and a possum in the attic. They are NOISY! Make sure you have grating (screening)over the ducts that run outside your house and up to the attic (the electric wires pass through there). But, don't make the mistake we did. We put the grating on while the possum was in the attic (we thought he was gone). You wouldn't believe the racket when that guy was trying to get out.

Good Luck!
Sharon

With Ferris and cats (if you do have cats), it may not be a good idea to lay out poison. Even if it's in places your pets can't reach, a rat may eat the poison, and die in a place that your pets can reach.
I have no Idea about the Sonic thing, but an exterminator is probably your best bet. Only thing is, you'll have to find a place where your family and your pets can stay while it's being fumigated.
Act as fast as possible, rats can multiply at a very alarming rate.

JSc,

You know I really wasn't interested in making this a sizist conversation, but I suppose with some men that's inevitable. In terms of your positively ludicrous suggestion to burn the house down, you should realize that recommending the infantile "last resort" of flaming shows you to be no more than should be expected from your derogatory comment about my own dimensions. Not even a dirty rotten rat deserves to spoken to with anything less than the utmost respect. As for exterminators in general, I'd go tell them all to f*** themselves.

Go with a cat. Or Christopher Walken.

Wil,

The "Rats! Rats! F__king huge rats with ... " bit that you began quoting is killing me ... I _cannot_ place it no matter how much I try.

Where does it come from, again? Please end my torment!

Mike

Well, there is a certain poison, that you can buy at a feed store ( for the life of me cant remember the name) you tear a tiny whole in the bag and toss it into the attic preferably in places noone goes into. The stuff makes them leave and die, so they dont die in your walls. Il try to remember the name. Sorry, its late here, had physical therapy on my knee all day, minds a little twisted. As well as staring at my computer screen looking at editing for the book :{... Oh well... like i said, I will think of the name.

-- Guess that funny looking tent and 3 day Vay' Cay' is looking really cool right about now, huh.
i don't approve of th poison either but whe those damn things chew through your wires when you have just finished updating you site yet it hasn't saved yet there by causing you lose everything!! you'll be wishing you you had poisoned the basters then.

Dont leave poison traps they got humane ones. I'm not even really saying that cuz I'm anti rat murder I'm just saying the poisons are dangerous for your kids and pets health. I mean I had a cat back in the old house and she used to catch mice. EWWWWWW!!! It totally grossed me out but it did work. If you are gonna fumigate the whole house, I'm sure that will work but keep inn mind that even if it takes three days before you can go back in you house, Ferris may have to wait a while longer. It still might effect him a but and to be on the safe side I wouldnt put the poor doggie back in the house yet until its clear.

"The head Rat"...hahahaha
Maybe if I find the head rat, the other rats will all leave?

No fears about poison. Two of my dogs died when I was a kid, because they ate snail poison.
Poison BAD. Napster GOOD!

And one of my friends had numerous pet rats, and I loved each and every one of them. Except Bailey. She was a little bitch who always bit me.

But Nuts was rad.

This is why I just want to encourage them to leave, rather than killing them.

Hey, I just realized, if there's anyone reading this who is *still* laboring under the mistaken impression that I consider myself a celebrity, I hope you've realized how very, very wrong you are. :)

My roomate works at a pest-control company. We had the same problem; tons of rats in our house. The only thing you should do is get rat traps, it's the best and easiest way to get rid of them.

Yeah, the head rat thing is true. They're a little bigger and smarter than the other rats and they live away from the others. It's an odd thing.

But those sonic things don't work from what my friend said. They're as good as yelling at them.

Mike: it's from a Dirty Johnny joke...

The teacher goes through the alphabet, asking kids to say something that begins with the letter "A", then "B", etc.

Each time she calls out a letter, Dirty Johnny thrusts his hand into the air, and excitedly waves it around.

She doesn't call on him for "A", "B", "C", "D"...knowing that he can have a naughty thing to say for that letter...until she gets to "R".

Johnny's hand shoots up into the air, and she thinks to herself, "Well, there's nothing that he can say for 'R'," and she calls on him.

"Johnny, what would you like to say for 'R'?"

Dirty Johnny shouts out, "RATS! RATS! Fuckin' Rats! With dicks *this* big!"

Thank you, thank you. I'm here all night, folks. Tip your waitress.

ive gone through a couple of seasons of mice, and i always use a couple of these traps, i think you should check them out - i figured a nice boy like you wouldnt really want to kill a mouse, would you? :)

ok, the link didnt work, so here it is typed out... sorry

http://www.abundantearth.com/store/mousetrap1.html?AID=1156456&PID=242971

I don't care how non-celeb you consider yourself Wil, giving pest control advice to tv's Wil Wheaton it still bizarre in my book.
But hey, that's cool.

Yeah, celebrities get infested with vermin, too. Usually, though, they give them some fixed percentage of their gross income, rather than letting them move into the ceiling and walls, but to each his own.

Traps.
Traps that goes snaps.
Snaps from the traps,
   snaps on the rats.
Rats in the traps,
   that go snaps on their taps.

One ring to rule them all ...

Sorry. Got carried away there.

Hey Wil,
Two other possible methods:
Flute. Hey, it worked great for the Pied Piper. Plus, after your done coaxing all the rats out of your house, you could just pipe yourself all the way to the Paramount lot. Build an Army! Forget Monkeys with typewriters, a horde of slavering red-eyed rabies-carrying rodents might make those execs at the studio think twice about turning you down again.... Or they might thank you for rounding out their vagrant relatives....

Alternatively...

You might try a Nutcracker. Hey, he whooped the Rat King and his entire army, and they were probably far more organized than the hoods you likely have in your attic. Afterwards you might ask him to confirm for you that the word "Rad" has been added to the list of English words that have fallen into disuse, along with "thither" and "'rents," the oft-forgotten teen magazine slang for parents.

Charles,
Sick, dude, sick.
I like it.

I'm just curious if the head rat's name is Jenner?

Funny, I was just telling my husband how my last rat (dead two years now) totally ruined me for ALL other rats... she was the best. Poor dead rats.

Kelly, brilliant idea. Y'know Wil, I bet this is karmic retribution for you voicing that mouse in that cartoon version of the Secret of NIMH (one of the best kids books ever!!) Your character might have escaped them in the movie, but... muahaha.

Ha! The funny thing is after I posted I got a funny feeling and went and looked up the secret of NIMH and had to laugh at the irony.

Bet I'm the only one who read Racso and the rats of NIMH.

And Mike... I have to assume the "Rats! Rats!" thing is in reference to a "Little Johnny" joke (which can be found on http://www.jokecompany.com/cgi-scripts/joke/joke.htm?3633).

So... this sonic repeller thing.. is it like disney toons?

Or just a continous loop of the talk track to the movie Glitter?

Or the worst.. just the guitar rift on the song, "Beautiful" by Flickerstick over and over again.

Don't be that cruel.. really.

We use those things at our cabin, and they work pretty well, but you nearly need one in every room, and it did take a few weeks for it to work. But we dont live there, its just a vacation house we use on the weekends, so you might want to consult the "professionals"...as unsavory as that might be. Sorry...:(

My FIL was a bugman (exteminator) for many many years... he says call a pro, the sonic things are crap. You can use poison (CA law forbids the use of poisons that have secondary kill, so any pets are safe **UNLESS** they get into the poison themselves) but all in all, if you have rats, best bet to getting rid of them is to shell out the bucks and pay someone who knows what they're doing.

You got to love those Dirty Johnny Jokes, hahaha.

As far as rats go, I don't know crap about them. I killed one once with a broom does that help. I detest rodents in the highest fashion. For those that want them as pets more power to you, just don't ask me to ratsit, haha.

Wil, hope you solve your rat problem, I know that would keep me awake at night, wondering if they would get out into the living area. YUCKY!

Your local chapter of the NRA should be getting together on Sunday. Give 'em something to do.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(No, don't fool around; hire a professional. Exterminator, not Terminator, that is.)

My husband and I were in the living room watching X-Files one time, and the episode was about an exterminator that could see thru walls. So we're all into the show when those two mice walk right in front of the TV, taking their good ole time... Damn the special effects on that show!

Whatever you do, don't get a cat, unless it's mice you're talking about and not rats.

I've personally seen rats fighting cats, and more often that nor, the rat wins.

Or it might just be that the rats in our neighborhood is as big as a small dog...

Following my earlier comment, I recall a scene in the first episode of "Tour of Duty" (a superb dramatic series in the late 80s, sort of an updated "Combat!"), where one character freaked out about a rat in their barracks, and they all opened up with their weapons. They all missed.

You can't do any better than live special effects, haha. Chris Carter must have earned his money on that one, haha.

btw, if anyone in your house has asthma (as I do), you might want to give the spaces occupied by the rats a thorough cleaning after getting rid of them. It can be pretty nasty for your family's health, and not obvious at first.

Because this is Spudnuts related, I'm going to be off-topic (Spud is very clear about taking pride in being off topic).

The new Spudnuts mp3 is up:

http://us.share.geocities.com/fvalue2001/WrathOfSpudnuts.mp3

Now, it rat-related news, a trivia question:

Name the Peter Weller film in which he plays a man trying to kill a rat (for nearly the entire film).

The winner will get...I dunno...something.

Wil -- thank you. GODS, thank you.

:-)

Wil,

Hire Indiana Jones and have him roam around your house.

If he says, "Oh rats!" You've found'em!

Of Unknown Origin.

There was a playmate in that one, too.

*Thank you*, Wil...it was going to kill me. Slowly and painfully. I *thought* it was a joke, but could not freakin' remember. Although my first response was "R.O.U.S's!" (10 points for this one kiddies).

I realize that the joke blatantly belongs to you (by virtue of the "most recent user" clause in the joke tellers manual)...but you don't mind if I use it? I need something to add some spice to my "Mommy! Mommy!" and "Dead Baby" joke cache.

Btw...rats make great pets. My white-whister (sp?) lab rat-saved from the PITT Psych Labs was the *coolest* dorm pet ever. And my buddy owns a Hooded rat who is just the sweetest so and so in the rat kingdom. Don't know about the attic/wall dwelling kind. Get a cat...then sit back and watch it watch the walls and schitz-out when it hears the rats moving around. That's entertainment folks.

Rent "The Secret of Nimh"...but don't rent "Rats"

get a fire gun and just chase the little suckers out! you'd get to dress up like arnold in terminator or commando and rampage your house while hunting them!

Gravikord gets it!

Wil,
I had trouble with rats (Norway rats they're called, actually) once in the past, and got some of that poison that amy was talking about from the feed / fertilizer store. The one where once the rat's consumed the poison, it's supposed to drive them out in search of water. (Cotton-mouth, I suppose...)
Anyway...the poison worked, but not in that manner. Got rid of the rats, but fortunately no deaths in the walls, so I didn't have to tear into them to get the dead bodies out. Enough "death talk"... :o )
Those sonic repellers are worthless...don't waste your time OR your money.
Good luck in the "hunt"...

A Texas "boi",
Mark

10 points for a Princess Bride quote? Geez, your points must be worth about the same as the lire....

You know, looking back up there I feel really dumb for wasting my time finding a link to that joke since Wil had already posted it... but it hadn't loaded on my page. *sigh*

Okay, maybe not THAT dumb.

I'm gonna echo the same as all the others.... we we had mouse in our house in college (I almost had a heart attack getting out of the shower before work one day and a damn mouse ran across the floor like 2 feet from me) we tried a bunch of stuff. we wanted to be humane but the sonic things never worked and the humane traps were a pain cause they would eventually trap them, but they would come back (like a homing pigeon) after about ten weeks of this we gave up and hired a professional. it was sad, but we didn't feel like we had a choice.

amellia

-ok if you go the way of the poison get a professional- no not them! "as Andie drags Wil away from the hookers"

-However if you go the way of the glue traps there's nothing funnier then watching those damn rats get stuck-
- if you get the cat- Make sure He's a Fat Horny Cat so he will either kill them by either sitting on them or fucking the hell out of them-
-Warning watchout that you don't put the glue traps where the cat my stick his head in them- aww hell let'm it might be fun to watch th cat run around the house with the damn box glued to his head- it was loads of fun at my old house when my cat got stuck w/her back foot in one-- clunk, clunk, clunk, as she walked by us as if to say - "Don't fucking say a word!" --
-- it was the smaller ones used to catch bugs- but they make bug ones for rats

- Rats!,Rats! RAts on my face-
wake up your having that stupid dream again,
oh it was just a dream - "Willow"

Ooooooooh....

Rob.. that was...

Hold on having a William Shatner pose momment.

Ah better.

You rock not only me, my world but my universe and prolly even Uranus.

Ah it was a decent try. Shit. Brain numb after my Sunday Morning 1 am breakfast/soap opera.
Ah the Waffle House.

Sandy the waitress vs Frank the Cook

Every Sunday Early Morning- same battle of egos fighting it out. Dishes are thrown, words are spent..

Gods it's lovely to watch.. It's no Tribe but I taped that earlier tonight.
Thank the gods for greasy spoon places and New Zealand Soap dramas.

-Kitty
Power and Chaos!

I am just no help on this subject. But I like seeing my name in the comments section.

The closest experience I have to this was when we had raccoons in our chimney. Animal Control ended up setting a trap on our roof to catch them as they left at night to go forage. Well, Mom Raccoon got caught all right. Trapped in the cage for the night.

Unfortunately for her, late that night we had a HUGE thunderstorm blow in.

Now I don't want those critters in my house, but I kinda felt bad for it getting whipped by the winds and drenched in the deluge. Especially since the cage was located over our room so I could hear it all night.

But it was funny the next morning seeing a waterlogged raccoon on our roof. I'm sure if it could have, it would have given me the finger when it saw me come out the next morning.

- Wayy off the subject--
- I just read the article in people Mag and saw your family. Ya'll look so great! Just wanted to incourage those who hadn't read it yet, to get it and do so before their all gone- people weekly feb11, 2002 page 101- my hubby got home late and i instructed him to pleasesss get me a copy on the way home-

just use fire, it always works :)

Suddenly I'm reminded of the ST:TNG episode where Wesley inadvertantly creates a race of sentient nanites.

mmmmm Unitards... *droool*

C'mon you guys...haven't any of you seen Mouse Trap????!?!?! Wil, it's clear you just need to move.

;)

Kati

Wil,

How the f*** do you get rats in your wall ? That's just sick!

Umm, don't have any advice really, 'cos I live in an apartment complex.

Have you tried shotguns ? That'll surely shit 'em up and force them to leave.

It's easy really.

Step 1: Kill Kenny
Step 2: Wait for rats to come and take him away.
Step 3: Trap rats for release back into the wild. Or Rush Limbaugh's backyard. Your choice.

Seriously though, no little creature deserves to die just because in its search for food or warmth or whatever it stumbled into someone-or-other's house. I'm wrestling with this because I have a big problem with ants right now. Like, ants in my BED. They're coming through a gap in a window frame and use my bed as a quick way to get to the water in the bathroom. This morning I got bitten a few times and without thinking jumped out of bed half-asleep and poured a huge puddle of ant bait on the window sill. It stopped them sure, but later on I was walking past and noticed the ones that were still alive prodding the dead ones and eventually picking them up and carrying them back to the nest. After watching them for a while I actually got all teary eyed and felt really awful, particularly because it was the kind of bait that wipes out the nest too. I really messed up, and I feel really bad about it.

Wil, use the sonic thing, whether it works well or not you'll feel better for it.

Rats in the walls huh? One of the penalties in living in a house that has cavity walls. My advice? Go get some advice from an expert in pest control. Those will be the only guys who know what they're doing; if you follow everyone else's advice you'll either burn the house down, poison your family (from the smart bombs and rat poison) or blow the place up. And knowing rats they'll be the ones that survive!

we had one of those sona things to help get rid of the cats in our backgarden. Itt worked to begin with but after a while the cats ignored it, and oine cat even dug it up and ran off with it, so my advice to you is either get a professional in to catch them and take them out to the wild or get a cat, either will do a good job I be thinking.

Be humane about the rats though, they maybe annoying but they are still living creatures and deserve to live, although not in your house if you can help it!!

Hope you sort out the problem soon.

Good luck

Beastly_spike

How about carpet bombing them with thermite plasma or an all out nuclear assault? *Goofy grin from previous thread*

Wil.
You can get a rather deep bucket and put water in it. add some sugar or peanut butter and the rats will be drawn to it, fall in the bucket and you can collect them and get rid of them.

If you insist that killing them is the way to go, then add more water to the bucket so they drown.

Or, get a cat. They work.

Try to find a have a heart trap, or a couple of them. Then you can trap all the rats and set them free in a big field and give them little lunch bags to take on their journey.

Careful about letting your dog take care of the rats for you--a friend of a friend borrowed his sister's terrier to get rid of rats in the barn. The terrier got all the rats (will spare you the messy details), pure instinct kicking in just fine, but after that, the dog decided that hunting rats was fun, and if he couldn't find rats, he would hunt other things. To make a long story short, the sister could no longer keep the terrier as a pet, so her brother bought the dog, and several others, and started offering terrier-ratcatching services.

mister fred fowler advised "Go with a cat. Or Christopher Walken"

apparently, bridget fonda, whilst working on a set with walken, approached him while he was eating a slice of canteloupe. he took a bite and murmured 'tastes like mouse.'

fred could be onto something here.

has anyone posted this yet?
http://www.stupidinternet.org/mouse.html
propaganda is the key.

or, you could play michael jackson's 'ben' at full volume.

Don't feel bad Wil. We have a SKUNK living under our house right now...

Wil,

Don't mess around with these things. These are dangerous animals which could be carrying rabies or several varieties of parasites, which you don't want the kids (or yourself) to get. It's not worth it to try to save a buck where your family's health is concerned.

Call a professional (now). They will not only get rid of the rats, they can help you figure out where the rats got in so you can seal up the holes. It's not super expensive and you shouldn't need to move out either, that's nonsense.

Humane way of having a home with no rats?

Yeah, move.

OT ---spoilers----

Have you ever had a party where people left oragami cranes behind?

Would that be considered a _good_ party?

O

to hot soup girl,

that web site was sick absolutly sick,
how can you look at that and still keep your dinner in,
you are one deranged child.

Beastly Spike

you're right, beastly_spike, i should probably have posted that link with a warning. my apologies. i've been surfing the net so long i think i may have become inured to the atrocities of war.

for the record, i'm not recommending this particular method of rat-eradication. just being topical.

Would you still try to kill the rats, if it meant that a few harmless squirls and chipmunks might get killed as well?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

that website was funny, hot soup girl.

collateral mouse damage....

Geez, animals are kewl and all and every species has a right to exist, but we're a predatory species. Prey species take a risk when they invade the territory of a predator.

US OR THEM, BAYBEE

"Este carne esta rata" (i think that's how it's all spelled)

Seriously though, where are you gonna dump these things if you can catch them alive? They either become part of the food chain or they go and invade some other poor unexpecting person's house.

Just be HUMANe as possible as you slag the little rat bastards... oh, they ARE rat bastards... you ever see a rat wedding ceremony?

*taking another bite of his ratburger and washing it down with some beer*

HSG- That was fantastic! What a hoot.
Hmm.. owl. Owl's like rodents.

I didn't think it was too gross.
Mice who trespass become dead.
Simple fact.

As in my house it's spiders.
I've sat down with their leader.
We decided that they can keep the unfinished part of the basement as long as they don't trespass in the following areas. My room, and my shower.
The rest of the house is still off limits but not guarded as highly as my two areas.They get in my way. Bam. No more spider.
I've tried to concede my sister's room but the arial assault of pop music kills them.

So the war goes on.
Damn them for trying to contract in outside help.
That wolf spider was a mess to clean up after the 30 lbs metal filing cabniet put an end to him.

I'm hoping their alliance with the thousand leggers doesn't go through. I really hate those bastards.

That site was too funny... hehee.

maybe you should try to commune with the rats and find out what they want.

I'd recommend against driving the rats away with sonic thingies. You'll effectively be dumping the rat problem on somebody else in your neighborhood.

After all, the rats ain't gonna pack up and move into some forest and live there. They'll just scatter into the nearby houses and breed there.
Paying a professional to get rid of the rats and to rat-proof your house would be the way to go in my opinion.

Here's the problem with a professional killer, you kill the rats, the die in the walls, they rot in the walls.

Hey Wil,
Since you're a "celebrity" you could go and hire one of those "Animal psychics to the Stars", you know, one of those spooky chicks who can talk to animals? She could then just psychicly ASK the rats to leave! I think I saw one on Animal Planet the other week.

Other than that, I have no other ideas that people haven't suggested already. One time, when I was living with my Grandmother in Loma Linda, we found that she had rats living in her attic crawl space and walls, also. The rats would gnaw on the attic rafters in the night and it got to be really annoying more than anything. We put rat poison in the attic and the rats died. The nasty thing was that one of the rats died in the wall space. It stank up the house for about a week before the little creatures that eat dead things finally did their job and the rat carcass was no more. ICK!

Let us know how the rat sitch' turns out!
xox

>>(No, don't fool around; hire a professional. Exterminator, not Terminator, that is.)

Hmm. Is an exterminator a terminator that was fired?

8-D

My school has rats.

Of course, we also hadvemold. We're getting rid of both by closing the school for (hopefully it will only be) a year and a half and cleaning up...and forcing us to go to school in a fleet of mobiles that we "fondly" call the Trailer Park.

But somehow I don't think you're willing to do that...but hey, it was worth typing...

Or maybe not...

we have mice in my house too. the mouse traps (we tried like 50 kinds), they catch the mice, but they keep on coming. we then got the sonic repeller, and its great. havent had a problem since.

I have a Rat Terrier that would be glad to climb in your attic, through, and around your walls, and would enjoy it with great vigor.

It might make a mess....

Has anyone ever wondered how they say the early bird gets the worm? Well yeah that's true, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Wil's rat dilemma
Someone call the pied piper
Cheese fans everywhere

Don't worry about killing them, you need to worry about finding them after they are dead. Have you smelled a dead rat before? You will want to take an axe to your house just to find and remove the smell. Good Luck!

I've never encountered rats in walls before. How did they get there ? I think you should call in some professional and have him go through the house from top to bottom eradicating the vermin as he crosses them.

You can never truly "like" a rat. They'd eat your eyes while you slept, if you let them.

Enough's enough Wil. Stand and fight!!!

LOL - I'm sorry Wil... I rarely stop by your site (no offense... single mom of two here... I spend so little time on my ass I forget I have one sometimes).

I'm not laughing at your rats, but, DAYUM! 101 comments!!!!! I think that's the most I've ever seen on a blog :)

Anyway... sorry about your rats. Good luck getting rid of them.

k... I take that back... after scrolling down and seeing 28-freakin'-4 comments. LOL!

Hey Rachel,
You must have had a rescued Wistar rat, lucky you and lucky rat! I think they were bred to be good for experimenting on, easy to handle and all that so they usually make lovely pets. Maybe because they are relieved.
Wouldn't fancy their wilder cousins staying in my walls though.
Wil, where I stay (Scotland) you can hire people who have good ratters (usually a Jack Russell type dog) and they get rid of the rats. At least it's more instant than poison. But it is kind of disturbing to see some little Eddie lookalike throwing rats around with an obvious look of murderous glee on their face, even though I know thats what terriers were bred for.
I used to be a Falconer and we carried out pest control on seagulls and pigeons. Occassionally you would startle a rat and your hawk would be on it quicksmart.
But I guess you couldn't fit a bird of prey between your walls!

I've got a sunbeam noisemaker. It worked to chase out the mice that were coming into our 1920's or earlier apartment building.

Traps help, too.

roymeo

I gots three cats that will kill the rats for cheese.

Since you're hearing them in the attic, they might not be rats, but squirrels. Are there trees close to the house? (I've had this problem.)

Take a look at the building structure and see if you can spot the place where the critters come in (where the din is loudest should be a clue). Hire a carpenter & have him/her wait for mid morning (when the squirrels have left for the day) and close up the opening. (You may also wish to trim branches that come close to the roof.) -Anyway, squirrels come 'home,' can't get in, move on and nobody has to die!

Good luck & best wishes.

Card - Lab Rats
Color: Black
Card Type : Sorcery
Rarity : Common
Card Text :

Buyback 4
(You may pay an additional 4 when you play this spell. If you do, put it into your hand instead of your graveyard as part of the spell’s effect.)

Put a Rat token into play. Treat this token as a 1/1 black creature.

Looks like you have a magician in your house, wil :)

Completely off topic:

I don't know what made me think this (maybe all of the talk about rats) but I think that Wil should let Berman know that he'd like to play a cardassian if they make an appearance on Enterprise. (It's been rumoured... hey, you never know!)

Wil has got the right type of physique to play a cardassian.

With the actors who played Odo & Neelix both coming back to play villians, it might be a good opportunity to keep his foot in the trek door.

I don't know what made me think that.

ESpark... that made me laugh.

Wil are you sure they are rats and not TRIBBLE'S?

Just put Spudnuts and Roughy up there!

Seriously trap and release (where?) work best.

lol

I'd stay away from poisons as long as possible, and start by addressing this issue: If there hasn't been rats before, why's there rats now?
What's changed?
If the invasion is a result of conditions for some reason suddenly becoming more rat-friendly than they've been before, just making them less favourable might solve the problem or at least help in doing so.
If they no longer have prerequisities for what it takes to live happy rat life, they'll most likely pack their bags and move into better neighbourhood.

Cats rule, rats drool...

Find where they're getting in and seal it. Set traps for the remaining ones and kill them. You'll probably need a pro at least to identify where they're coming in, then kill them yourself. It's cheaper. Poisons leave open the possibility of them dying and ending up somewhere where you can't get them. I've had roof rats as well and this is the only way to deal with it. We had one die in the walls and believe me, you don't want to deal with that.

First of all, are you sure they are rats? If they are squirrels or raccoons you can drive them out with several ammonia (same effect as sulphur dioxide has on us) soaked rags nailed to the rafters ( works within 48 hours) and then seal the entrance with polyurethane foam and metal lathing.

If it is indeed rats ( there would have had to have been something to attract them to your area in the first place like no garbage pick up for a while or an unclean food processing operation has opened in your area or some one has recently demolished a really old building etc)and you don't want to go the exterminator route there are a few options that you can try:
(1) you can buy humane traps from Home Depot ( or rent them from the local SPCA)just be sure to release your catch far away from your house or they'll just come right back in
(2) borrow a barn cat from a local farm
(3) get some ferrets ( a natural enemy of rats)
(4) use warfarin in combination with CocaCola -- it actually does work quite well -- put out a few small dishes of warfarin in your attic ( where your pets can't get at it) and nearby locate a couple of pieplates filled to the brim with room temperature CocaCola. Warfarin is both an anticoagulant and a diuretic and makes the vermin extremely thirsty. When they ingest the CocaCola they die quite rapidly because their digestive tract has no method of expelling the gas from the carbonation. Rats you see can't burp and they rupture internally. The only problem with this method is that SOMEBODY has to pick up the dead rats!

Finally, in my opinion, glue traps are cruel because of the paroxysms the victims will go through to try to escape (including biting off a leg).

John McGregor

I'm afraid there is no scientific evidence that any of those sonic devices work. I wished they did because we could have used them at our last house, a farmhouse in Illinois. Your best bet is to get a decent pest control company, check references, or at the very least the cat from Mousehunt.

I'm afraid there is no scientific evidence that any of those sonic devices work. I wished they did because we could have used them at our last house, a farmhouse in Illinois. Your best bet is to get a decent pest control company, check references, or at the very least the cat from Mousehunt.

> my first response was "R.O.U.S's!"
>(10 points for this one kiddies).

Rodents Of Unusual Size? Frankly, I don't believe they exist.

My advice to Wil: just wait for the popping sound...

Hope I'm wrong, but when my little sister moved into her place she thought she had rats, turns out it was bats.

Ferrets is illegal in California

Come to think of it, rats should be too.

I once lived in a house with a guy who had a bunch of rats in a glass tank. He stopped feeding them. I can still remember in the middle of the night.... the sounds of them ganging up on the weakest one... the horrble death squeaks!!!

And then there was one.... it died alone...

HELL NO, i wasnt gonna feed em... then it woulda been MY responsibility and my expense and... oh well it was a long time ago....

Ahh The Silence of The Rats

o/~ Ben the two of us need look no more... o/~

*sigh*

Cats. Cats is the best thing for rats. And then to get rid of the cats, ya get dogs. After the dogs, ya gets wolves, and then horses. Wolves don't like horses.

Seriously though, my cats catch about two rats a week, and we have zilcho problems.

Forget the cats, and the "humane" traps and the poison. I had a rat infestation, and the best cure is old fashioned snap traps. Cats won't always catch them, "humane" traps are a poor trap, and as you were warned; the poison is pretty bad. I can also tell you glue traps are worse, nothing worse than a live rat in a trap. Yes they die, but a pair of rats can breed several hundred, in a matter of months. But more importantly, why are they there? Someone has cut down a tree, plowed a field, or torn down a structure they lived in. Something drove them there, i.e.; too much rain, too little rain, no food, loss of home. Cruel though it may seem, the old fashioned trap works best, and won't poison anyone. Also, fumigation is a BAD choice, if you kill them with gas, they'll die where they are, and trust me, the smell is worse than the rats. They don't live where you see them, so put traps behind the washer, refridgerator, in the attic, under the dishwasher, and most importantly DON'T leave pet water and food out over night, it's a rat buffet.

perhaps this will help:

http://www.stupidinternet.org/mouse.html

heh

Hey Wil,

Always been a cat person. Only time I had a rat was when I didn't have a cat. Now I have 4 cats and haven't seen hide nor hair of any rodent. You could get a couple cats....

I tried one of those sonic things...the sound is actually audible (to humans), and quite annoying...and it does NOT work! Just ask the rat that died in my ceiling.

My suggestion? Get a ball python....bout a 5 footer should do it. He'll eat them, and after catching a few, the others will take off for more peaceful digs.

Call an exterminator - do it today. Those sonic thingies are a waste of money...

Gail-yeah...I would defintely lean towards the red-eyed white lab-type rats. More domesticated as it were. After a semester of running him through the "deprivation/reward" thing in a behavioral psych course...I figured the least I could do was bust him out of the lab into a life of luxury ;)

However...the rats my aunt had in HER attic in Brooklyn were a little less touchy-feely.

I had a squirrel try to make a nest in my car engine two years ago. It *sucked*.

You know, as long as you have rodents in your home you ought to be prepared for the worst, right? http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/diseases/hanta/hps/index.htm

Tears are streaming down my face;

"- if you get the cat- Make sure He's a Fat Horny Cat so he will either kill them by either sitting on them or fucking the hell out of them-
-Warning watchout that you don't put the glue traps where the cat my stick his head in them- aww hell let'm it might be fun to watch th cat run around the house with the damn box glued to his head- it was loads of fun at my old house when my cat got stuck w/her back foot in one-- clunk, clunk, clunk, as she walked by us as if to say - "Don't fucking say a word!" --"

hahahaha

Rats mean you have a warm dry attic with some form of food supply, this is good.

Unfortuantly whilst Rats are generally clean they are still disease ridden vermin who will cause disease and make a general nuicance of themselves.

As noted the sonic repllars aren't so great but do work a little.

The best advice I can give is call in a professional exterminator who will also ensure that once the rats are gone no new ones will follow them.

The sonic thingies aren't too helpful, and they will bother your pets. Go with the professionals...rats are extremely difficult to get rid of, very brazen, and potentially dangerous. They have been known to bite children.

I had a rat invasion at a crappy walk-up apartment I used to live in. The fuckers were absolutely fearless, strolling around the kitchen in full daylight, staring down mere humans such as myself...my advice is to kill, kill, KILL and KILL FAST!

Good luck!

Wil,
The answer is golf...Get in the attic and work on your swing. And clubbing the little buggers to death will make you feel good too.

wil--

i don't know if you will listen to this, but if you and your wife or whoever else wants them to leave find out the reason why you have the rats (is there food accessible, for example) and then do something about that, then try speaking to the rats about it, and make a truce-- if you don't leave food about, they don't come into your house. explain, negotiate about how it disturbs you, but use nice language because they're really sensitive. i mean, if you're in someone else's house and they're using bad language to get rid of you, you wouldn't appreciate that and do more things to irritate them, wouldn't you? anyway-- a friend of mine did this with ants, i do it with bugs all the time (hope their native language is english ^-^;;) and it works like a charm.

don't laugh, i'm serious. i hate all this animal cruelty going around because people don't like them in the house. or because they think they're annoying. i have little brothers back at home (study abroad now) and they're annoying but i've managed not to kill them when they get into my stuff and leave their shit behind.

^-^ have a sparkly day, and good luck,
katelynne

Mr. Wheaton (SIR!),

Now that I think of it, we used to have rats and bats in the barn before we had umpty-bijillion barn cats to keep them in check....

Until my brother and I bought pellet guns.

How's Your aim?

I thought that I was the greatest mouse killer EVER! I bought one of those things, plugged it in, and all of a sudden, I stopped finding droppings. A year later, we are packing up all of our stuff because we were moving. In my basement and under my work bench, I found A WHOLE BUNCH OF MUMMIFIED MOUSE CARCASSES! Aparently, my wife knew that thing was a piece of crap and put poison out in the basement. I guess she forgot to tell me to look for victims of her wrath so I never saw them untill packing time. The woman that we sold our house to turned out to be a real bitch. I wish that I had hid all of thoes little things in other places in the house for her to find.

Nice!

bleh was reading the comments... and i dont have rats (my uncle does, and i recommended him to your site)....

just have to say that i used to own two outdoor cats. they killed and ate a lot of rats, moles, and mice not to mention at least two dozen birds and at least two chipmunks.

but, you get all these dead carcasses lying around your yard and on your porch and such. the oldest one loved coming into the house with half of a mouse. teehee.

my oldest cat, the one that's still around, is an indoor cat and she's really fat (hey it rhymes). i think she sat on a mouse once.

Rats? You have many, many rats?

Damn...I knew I left those somewhere...

-Bram Stoker's Dracula

Kill the rats? Are you CRAZY? Soon they'll become human-sized and kill us all!!! (only the ones that were mean to them... and I'll become the rat king... even though I'm not a rat, or a guy)

Ya know, one time there was this dead rat hidden behind my dresser. I didn't even know about it until i moved. It was pretty raunch.

TRUE STORY!

Those Sonic Repellers only make ONE thing go away. We bought one to try to drive the Cave Crickets out of our basement. They stayed. They invited their friends.

What went away? $19.95 from my wallet. That's what. Don't waste your time.

Hire an Exterminator. Somebody like Christopher Walken in Mouse Hunt.

Good Luck.

Yes, the sonic repellers do work, but if you have any dogs or cats, or a migran for that matter, they can be a bit annoying (by annoying I mean the cats run wild, the dogs bark their heads off, and your head feels like you had a jauvalin shoved through it)!

Be very careful setting out the bait if you use poisons. Keep a record of the location of each and every one, and pick them all up after the job is done. Warn visitors (especially those with children) while the bait is set out.

You're dealing with deadly, accessible poison. If the kids or animals can move around, forget image, be responsible.

I hope this isn't too late, but I lost a favorite dog to rat poison at a relative's house. They had set out the bait months ago and didn't tell me. I visited with my pet, and he ate at least one of the baits. Within a few days he was dead. During the agonizing period up to his death neither the vet nor I had any idea what was wrong. He went from a completely healthy 3 year old to dead of total renal failure in 5 days. His blood chemistry had gone all to hell. It was only afterwards that I was able to piece together what had happened.

First off , rats can;t give you rabies..they have a dry bite.....
I do admire rats and have kept several as pets. But i have a wild rat problem in my new house. ( just one of the many gifts left to me by the previous owners) I dont wish to fumigate as i do keep rats and other small animals as pets.. Poison is a no no, i have smelt dead mice from that already and i dont wish to go through the whole heave ho with a rat. So its humanetraps or failing that rat traps.The humane traps are very expensive. So I've come up with a few home-made ideas.. Get a very high bucket ( australian outdoor bins are a good size) balance a ruler across the top with food on the other end.. Make sure the rat can walk onto the ruler and when he reaches the food the whole lot falls into the bin.. another idea is to use an old cage ( if you still have the one from the dearly deceased Polly) String up the door and place some food inside the cage ontop of the string.. Rat grabs food, string is released , door closes.. ( not as simple as it sounds though and dam those buggers can be fast or they have already figured how to open up the door again)

I can't believe some of you people would use glue traps as an alternative. Do you seriously know how cruel and inhumane these traps are? Not only that their feet get stuck, but the rat can fall on their stomach or head, thus gluing their bodies with the board. This results in agonzing fear for the rat, and the pain it has to go through for trying to escape (there have been instances of rats biting their own limbs and trying to pull their bodies from the glue to escape). It's not a pretty sight... bits of flesh and een a eyeball hanging of the rat? Accompained by its squeaks of terror? Seriously, who would consider such a trap? It's imhumane and cruel.

If you want to get rid of rats, use snap traps or get a cat or terrier. Maybe even catch and release the rat. Poision can be used, but not only it takes a few days for the rat to die by internal bleeding (and is yet another cruel method), but the poisioned carcass could be swallowed by your pet, or native wildlife. You could use a gun, and shoot the animal in the head. I'm all for humane methods, but I am disgusted to see the applause for glue traps. I'd love to see you people encounter a rat in a glue trap (with its limbs torn off and its eye out of the socket)... for this instance put me off glue traps altogether, as I once thought it was a good method to remove rats. But I was ignorant back then... so please don't make the smae mistake. All animals deserve a humane death, and if you think otherwise, you're simply fucked up in the head. No ifs and buts.

Wil, I have the same problem. I have been trying to get a local feed store to order me some of the "Pied Piper" live animal traps. The smallest they make is 6" x 6" x 16" but they really work great. I bought the larger size last spring because we had a problem with Raccoons. Since April to now (Dec.) I have caught 25 raccoons, 15 possums and at least 30 squirrels but the rats are too small and sqeeze between the bars. I believe the smaller model 100 will work great if I can ever get one. But, since rats can be a serious problem I have been setting snap traps and poison for now. Lowes and Walmart sell both. I generally prefer to catch animals alive and relocate them but considering I really hate rats and cannot afford to wait for the live trap...well..you get the picture. Anyway, I recommend the Pied Piper live animal trap model 100 if you can find one. Otherwise, make a trip to lowe's or call an exterminator. I have never tried the sonic repeller thingies because I have too many pets that would not like them. Hope this helps. Relly hated it when you left Star Trek. Thought you were great.

I too have a rodent problem (in betwen the first and second floors of my house). Not wishing to have a problem with decomposing critters, I have found a product I will possibly/probably use. It is supposedly humane, non-toxic, odorless to humans and effective in a short amount of time - would you believe powdered fox and bobcat urine? The idea is to trick your unwanted guests into thinking that a predator has taken up residence near by. Then close off the entrance openings before they try to return. Here is their website so that you can make your own decision: http://www.critter-repellent.com/rat_repellent.htm#benefits. Good luck I hope this helps for your sake and for mine.

GET A RAT SNAKE. THEY ARE NOT POISONIOUS TO HUMANS AND EAT RATS DEAD OR ALIVE.
tHE SNAKE DOESN'T GROW THAT BIG EITHER SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A "BOA" SIZED SNAKE IN YOUR HOUSE.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF MY DOG KILLED A RAT ,THAT HAD BEEN POSIONED ? I GOT IT AWAY FROM HIM BEFORE HE MUNCHED ON IT