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The Trade | Main | Not worth a title

May 10, 2002

Perchance to dream...

Everyone who emailed and commented seemed to really enjoy the last entry, and I'm really happy about that. I am very proud of it, and I'm going to see if I can get it published someplace. This is an odd feeling for me, because I am usually very critical of everything I do, which prevents me from sitting back and saying to myself, "Hey, Wil! You did a good job! Enjoy it!"

Anyway, I'm going to submit The Trade to This American Life, and see what happens. Cross your collective fingers for me, if you don't mind. :-)

Anne shared a sentiment with me last night, which I think she heard from my mom, and it is the thought for today:

"A mother is only as happy as her saddest child."

Posted by wil at May 10, 2002 01:01 PM


Good luck on the publishing! Look forward to buying your first book!

And your wife is a very wise woman. But may I add...

And a husband is only as happy as his wife is...

See ya!

Posted by: Potch at May 10, 2002 07:58 AM


Good luck on the publishing! Look forward to buying your first book!

And your wife is a very wise woman. But may I add...

And a husband is only as happy as his wife is...

See ya!

Posted by: Potch at May 10, 2002 07:58 AM

Yeah. Hope you do get published. That would be a helluva thing. Thought for the day is very true.
Well, there all true. Have a good weekend.

Posted by: angry penguin at May 10, 2002 08:01 AM

Best of luck getting published, Wil! It was a great entry, and I'm sure those two publications will love it =)
Anne's thought is very profound. Here's hoping that she is very happy all of the time. =)

Posted by: Kelayrel at May 10, 2002 08:03 AM

Good luck Wil!

Posted by: Ironwolf at May 10, 2002 08:12 AM

fingers are crossed. ^_^

Posted by: mary potter at May 10, 2002 08:20 AM

Your wife is a wise woman. I liked her thought, the sentiment of the day. Thanks Wil!


Posted by: Jon at May 10, 2002 01:06 PM

Congrats, I've always thought you should be published.

Posted by: Christopher-Jaison at May 10, 2002 01:07 PM

And just think how cool the story would have been if you'd lived in the Poltergeist house.

"MAN that Land Speeder was smokin' fast! Too bad Luke and Leia got sucked back into the TV..."

Posted by: Internal Audience at May 10, 2002 01:09 PM


The Poltergeist House was about 15 minutes from my house, if I recall correctly.

I lived in a tract EXACTLY like that one, had a pool under construction in the back yard...


I think I just got an idea for another story!

Posted by: wil at May 10, 2002 01:20 PM

Well it's about time you realized you should be looking for a publisher...

Posted by: Maia at May 10, 2002 01:21 PM

I wonder if the actor-on-Star-Trek-but-played-with-Star-Wars-toys angle will be played out.

Posted by: KJB at May 10, 2002 01:21 PM

All right, Wil!

They'd be fools if they turned you down!

Posted by: Nic T at May 10, 2002 01:22 PM

I think you should save these up and write a book. Not a "my life so far" kind of autobiography, but rather a compilations of funny and introspective stories. That way you can touch on the themes in your life we the WWDN readers enjoy....your unique family make-up, your search for meaning in fame, your wicked sense of humour, your pursuit of acting roles. Even if you centred them around a theme such as "Parenthood" or Couplehood" did. Picture this on Amazon or Chapters..."Finding My Funny" by Wil Wheaton! I'd buy it, even in hard cover.

Posted by: Bagelcat at May 10, 2002 01:23 PM

I hella enjoyed that post yesterday Wil. It brought back some memories of my own and I just wanted to say thanks. I've been a fan since Stand By Me and yeah, I thought you got caught a raw deal from all those Wesley haters. I just recently came across your website and at first I thought to myself, "Nah, this is some hack goofing on Wil but the more I read the more I believed. Just want to give you a proper shout for a job well done. I've got your linked on my site and plan to share your url with all my old trekkie buds. It's good to know you're keeping it real. Have a great day Wil.


Posted by: Phil McKnight at May 10, 2002 01:23 PM

Great Wil!!!

I'm glad to see you have taken a moment to breathe and admit you did a good job.

I hope they publish it. If for some reason it isn't remember NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER EVER GIVE UP.

There are other people out there who will publish it.

Wonderful Wil, Simply Wonderful.

Posted by: Stargazer at May 10, 2002 01:25 PM

Good Luck, Wil. Tell us how it goes! I think that is a very awesome story. Great Job.

Posted by: Pmacca01 at May 10, 2002 01:27 PM

Cool beans. It was a great entry. I sent everyone I know a link to your site and I think you've got a few new fans.

Posted by: Dena at May 10, 2002 01:29 PM

I'd buy the issue. Hmm, I wish I had something more to say but I don't so that's that.

Posted by: Eli at May 10, 2002 01:30 PM

Your Landspeeder sucks. All the cool kids have a Battlestar Galactica Viper. They rule!


Posted by: Nuclear Toast at May 10, 2002 01:30 PM

Best of luck... hope you make it. I loved the entry and it deserves to make it onto *real* paper. Again, good luck.

Posted by: Jess Lat at May 10, 2002 01:31 PM

I never uncross my fingers when it comes to you. Nothing but luck!

Posted by: Aarika at May 10, 2002 01:33 PM

it should definitely be published. a great story, and made even greater since i live in sunland, which might suck, but i felt special for a minute :D

Posted by: rachel at May 10, 2002 01:34 PM

I agree with Bagelcat, Wil. You could do a compilation of stories a la David Sedaris' Naked and Me Talk Pretty One Day. You know we'd all buy it!

Posted by: adivad at May 10, 2002 01:35 PM

I loved yesterdays as much as I loved your musings on Batman...I have been forwarding to all my friends to share. You are a gifted writer and should be published.
And of course your links are great!

Posted by: samalee at May 10, 2002 01:36 PM

Good luck with getting The Trade published Wil, I'll have my fingers crossed! And think more positively you are very gifted and talented!
I only found this place a few days ago and I am hooked so you are doing something right (belive me I'm hard to please).

Posted by: SpriteHex at May 10, 2002 01:37 PM

Go for it dude! Sending you all my mojo that someone publishes it. They'd be fools not to.

*mojo mojo mojo*

Posted by: sarcastic cheese at May 10, 2002 01:39 PM

Last blog comment for a while..

Whoa, that was truly profound of Anne. She is really a cool lady. Go Wil!


Posted by: ayngil at May 10, 2002 01:42 PM

Crossing my fingers now. Good luck.
Thank you for today's Thought. I shall remember that one.

Posted by: Nick at May 10, 2002 02:09 PM

Yay!!! Wil that's awesome, well done! we'd all love to see you have your work published.

I think I'll pass that quote on to my mom...

Posted by: Jenna at May 10, 2002 02:16 PM

:crossing my fingers and toes:

I liked "The Trade" too- whenI read it, I was reminded of the fact that all of my Star Wars toys were the bad guys! :-P :)

Posted by: Toonces at May 10, 2002 02:17 PM

And you're right. I'm really critical of what I write too, but getting feedback *always* helps me realise it's better than I thought it was.

Posted by: Nick at May 10, 2002 02:23 PM

Hey Wil, 'long time...first time'...
You should definetly get into publishing. I love reading what you have to say. BTW, I LIKED Wesley.

Posted by: todd at May 10, 2002 02:24 PM

hello, yes i totally agree, 'The trade' was a really good entry. r u going to write anything more like that? and make a huge collections of your thoughts and past history?? i don't c u shouldn't?

Posted by: Freakus Fungus - Matt at May 10, 2002 02:24 PM

Best of luck.

Of course, I'm insanely jealous.

Posted by: Chuggnutt at May 10, 2002 02:30 PM


I listen to This American Life as often as I can
(which isn't as often as I would like,
mostly because it's on at exactly the wrong
time of day here, when I'm usually off to lunch).
I love that show.

[Cleverly, I missed it today due to a sudden
burning need to listen to some Pixies.
I'm going to have to blame this on none other than
TV's Wil Wheaton, due to the title of this
comment window.

Well played, TV's Wil Wheaton, well played.]

I think The Trade would fit perfectly into
the melange of quirky/humourous/touching stories
Ira Glass brings us week to week.

Fingers crossed as requested.

Meanwhile, best of luck on getting published.
I know I'd buy a book if you wrote one.

Posted by: mondae at May 10, 2002 02:35 PM

Hey Wil,
Well done. Ya know, people just don't know how to express themselves anymore. I'm currently a college junior and I would rather write a 25 page paper on anything than take a math test. Yuo just keep it up and things Wil [sic] happen for you.

Posted by: Mark at May 10, 2002 02:43 PM

My luck to you in getting "The Trade" published, Wil!! You should sit back and be proud of your work more often, even when it's a post about your wife or the boys, what you did at work, or something you saw in the car on the way home. We all enjoy visiting WWDN and seeing what what funny, witty, or inspiring things you have to say. For me, it's just like opening my inbox, I'm anxious to see what awaits from our ol' pal Uncle Willie!

Posted by: Joe at May 10, 2002 03:05 PM

Go for it, Wil! There's *nothing* like the feeling of seeing your first byline... heck, your first 20 bylines. At some point you should seriously consider publishing an anthology of your best blogs, or start writing a collection of essays. You have a real talent for writing... make money off of it!

Posted by: Thumper at May 10, 2002 03:06 PM

I published my two books through http://iuniverse.com/ It's really a self-publishing outfit. But they get you listed on Amazon, Buy.com, etc. And their cover artwork is terrific.

It's an easy way to get published if you're not trying to compete with Michael J. Fox, Michael Moore, Michael Connelly and all the other Michael's in the New York Times Bestseller list.

Or you could sell another autographed pic! haha! At $320 a pic, your kids can get...oops, I mean *you* can get...

Posted by: carlos at May 10, 2002 03:18 PM

It WAS a great entry. Good luck with publishing it. And I love the website.


Posted by: Katie at May 10, 2002 04:21 PM

hey wil,

just dropped by to say that i was also affected in a positive way from reading your story. reminded me of you and dreyfuss' character in Stand By Me. (sorry, it's a favorite movie of mine. i hope you're not affected negatively whenever people mention your past work. that would really be a shame. not that i'm in your shoes or anything...) keep up the entertaining site--hopefully i'll get to see you again at jkeith soon.

Posted by: adam at May 10, 2002 05:05 PM

Adam, thats exactley what i thought!

Posted by: janie at May 10, 2002 05:26 PM

what do you mean by, spam-harvesting??

Posted by: the wonderer at May 10, 2002 05:28 PM

*Good Luck!*

Posted by: julia at May 10, 2002 05:30 PM

Saw the title/subject of this entry and just thought I would mention that the title of my friend's weblog is "Perchance To Dream" located at this location. Don't know if you allow html tags so this might look retarded.

Anyway, I am quite impressed with The Trade and am happy to see that you are submitting it....it is well worth publishing.


Posted by: thebrett at May 10, 2002 05:39 PM

Wil, I could easily see you writing a book on the order of Jon Stewart's _Naked Pictures of Famous People_. If you haven't read it yet, get it, if nothing else than for "A Very Hanson Christmas". U wil heart it.

Posted by: cosmiquemuffin at May 10, 2002 06:04 PM

You are a great writer Wil. I have been enjoying your talent for quite a while now. I have no doubt that you will be a successful writer. Just dont go and start chrging membership fees for this site! lol

Posted by: Fimpsterr at May 10, 2002 06:11 PM


I highly enjoyed "The Trade" and am proud of you for having enough self-confidence to go ahead & have it published.

I'm a fairly new visitor to your site, but you haven't failed to impress yet!

Can't wait for the next installment.

Posted by: galestorm at May 10, 2002 06:27 PM

Hi Wil!

Hmm, writing a book, thats a good idea. I like the story about that "trade", maybe you have more memories like that.

Posted by: Spanner19 at May 10, 2002 07:34 PM


I have to say you are a very talented writer. I'm, not usually much for jumping on bandwagons, but I'm on the "Get Wil published bandwagon" and holding on for dear life. Good Luck!

Posted by: jessie at May 10, 2002 07:42 PM

Fingers crossed................

We luvs ya'baby...

Posted by: fenaray at May 10, 2002 08:06 PM

Wil -

You are as excellent as you allow yourself to be.


Directions for the Journey of Life

Always remember that in the journey
of life two wrongs don't make a right,
but three rights make a left.

-- Rohan Candappa, Little Book of Wrong Shui



Posted by: qzen42 at May 10, 2002 08:23 PM

May you have better luck than Snoopy ever did.

Posted by: Fred Fowler at May 10, 2002 09:05 PM

Must be an artist thing that you are so critical of things that you do. I am that way myself. Good luck with getting published, the story really is that good. You should write more like that.

Posted by: Patrick at May 10, 2002 09:30 PM

Good luck Wil! I enjoyed the story so much.

Posted by: ingojax5 at May 10, 2002 10:38 PM

Wil, Right On. The Trade took me directly back to that kid state of mind. It's a very picturesque piece of writing and you are . I hope This American Life accepts it.

Off-topic - Does the mailbox bomber story remind you at all of Fight Club? Think hard. Remember the burning windows in the office building forming a huge smiley face? Hmmmm.

The Dude

Posted by: Dude at May 10, 2002 11:18 PM

Dude, 1st rule of Fight Club...

Posted by: anonymous at May 11, 2002 03:13 AM

Good Luck, Wil!! I am crossing my fingers for you as well!!

Posted by: cassiel at May 11, 2002 03:25 AM

Good luck, Wil! I've got my fingers crossed for you.

Hey, I just realized something. The title of the entry is the same title as the episode of "The Invisible Man" that you did last year! Cool! :-)

Damn, I miss that show. *grumbles* Stupid frickin' Sci-Fi Channel....

Posted by: Emma at May 11, 2002 08:35 AM

Fingers, toes and all other appropriate appendages crossed for you Wil!

Posted by: Brent at May 11, 2002 08:45 AM

...But the real question is: If Wil does publish a book, will he link it to the Amazon sell site for the sake of consistency or to his own store... Hmmm... Tough one.

Or maybe this is the real question: If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier in cutting them down? Maybe, if they screamed all the time for no good reason.

Posted by: Internal Audience at May 11, 2002 08:58 AM

I did quite enjoy the Trade, although I was expecting this trade to be a horrible one only cuz I have heard of the death star and never heard of a Land Speeder. I never really want a Star Wars fan. I liked it cuz you mentioned Slush Puppies. YAY! Anyways I think you're quote for the day is a bunch of bunk. I could be on the verge of suicide (which I have been) and my mom will be on top of the world and yell at me and tell me how dumb I am. (which helps I am sure). PLus that husband is only as happy as the wife thing is not true either....I know lots of husbands who are happy go lucky and their wives are miserable. Selfish people, gottttta looovvveee themmmmm!

Posted by: Fallulah at May 11, 2002 09:27 AM

Hey Wil,
Good luck with the publishing... Ive got all my fingers (even the ones on my broken hand), my toes, my eyes and my nose crossed for you!
As for the two enrties
sometimes its good to cry, even if you don't know why. I guess its just built up feelings you've been holding in :(
And Death star Vs. Landspeeder?
You made a good trade!

Posted by: Lily at May 11, 2002 09:27 AM

Well Wil..I am very glad that all of OUR positive
comments and Anne's have FINALLY convinced you
that "hey..maybe I CAN write!" ZEESH!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT the HELL has the posse been saying all
AND USE IT!!..Yes most of us will even BUY the
book...JUST DO IT!

Postscript to SPUDNUTS: Reread the above post
and insert YOUR name in correct space.

Posted by: bluecat-redblanket at May 11, 2002 10:08 AM

I concur with the others here that say you should create an anthology at some point, and maybe tie it together with some original pieces that demonstrate your humour (and provide something unique that we can't get here for free!). Maybe get that illustrator who did the cartoon of you on the blog to illustrate it (it kind of reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes, for some reason). I sort of see a potential for you as being seen as a smart/funny guy, kind of like Steve Martin (but different, of course).

ps I've got a book pending publication later this year and have written for major newspapers ... it can be done!. The main thing is to put together something only Wil Wheaton could do and then let your potential publisher know that - you'll find the right editor who'll take a liking to it. Good luck!

Posted by: synchronicity at May 11, 2002 12:30 PM

PA mojo comin at ya! I liked that piece as I have liked all your stuff since I started reading.
Let us know how it turns out--but of course, you will! Much luck, Karen

Posted by: kazfeist at May 11, 2002 01:22 PM

I LOVE "This American Life". It'd be so col to hear you read "The Trade" . It might be equally cool to hear Ira Glass reading, but go Wil!

Posted by: gette at May 11, 2002 06:13 PM

I think you have a lot to say and you would do well to practice your gifts and continue writing-Not to mention the whole you haven't gotten burned out by doing the drugs all the other child stars have done. You Sir Will have a gift to write and express yourself, if that weren't true then why do we all keep coming back for more? Do not waist your talent- we don't always have to wait to see you on stage or screen-for you to prove your gift- Let's see the book- please make it happen.

Posted by: Andie-Gypsy_girl at May 11, 2002 08:13 PM

"Practice your gifts" - I agree, and then some. I was having a conversation with a fellow author the other day and he subjects himself to a brutal schedule: up writing at 6 a.m., works until noon, spends an hour eating and exercising, then works until 8. Then he watches a movie and goes to bed. Repeat six times a week, and work later in the evening if you're on a deadline. He just put out his 50th book in 13 years, btw. My publisher recommends a target of 50 pages a week (which I'm managing to meet, just barely).

I feel like a total slacker for putting in ten hour days right now. But anyway, I'm trying to say that if you're thinking of going for it and putting out a book, develop what Richard Nixon called an "Iron Ass" (he said that was the secret for his success as a student ... not that I ever expect to quote him for anything else).

Posted by: synchronicity at May 11, 2002 11:25 PM

Hey Wil,

If the writing gig doesn't materialize, just remember -- FAA had mandated that no person over the age of 30 can become an Air Traffic Controller. This may be your last shot. July is just around the corner!

Posted by: CSC at May 12, 2002 07:33 PM

Ok, totally off-topic:

I was looking through my old copies of Wizard (fan girl), and I was showing my mom the casting call section, when I happened across the issue where the cast the Legion of Superheros. You'll never guess who they had cast as Chameleon (did I spell that right?) heh.

Posted by: Laura Lu at May 12, 2002 10:14 PM

Best of luck, Wil! You do have quite the talent for writing and really should give some thought to having the Trade and more work published. Off topic, hope Anne had a marvelous Mother's Day!

Posted by: shauna at May 13, 2002 01:11 AM

Wil, will you come to my school and tell stories? Ira Glass did. Michael Moore did. I think you'd be a big hit at Evergreen. I wish I was on some student committee, so I could pay you!

Anyway, yeah, good luck on the publishing. Your writing is what brought me back here, again ... and again ... and again...

Posted by: tammy/nellswell at May 13, 2002 01:39 AM


most artists are, critical of everything they do.
vincent vango was very depressed because he couldn't get what his vision saw, down on canvass
that and the mercury laced drugs didn't help much.
(that's why things were very blue, near his end.)
if you do become a published writer, I just hope you look nothing like richard dryfus, your older self in Stand by Me.. in you older years (just kidding Mr. Opus)

may the "farce be with you lad"

Posted by: wade at May 13, 2002 01:41 AM


Just writing to say please write a book!

Told you Id write every day!



Posted by: Hannah at May 13, 2002 03:49 AM

That story is just too good for anyone to turn down. I'm looking forward to seeing more like it. I had stopped writing for a while but reading your story makes me want to start writing again.

Posted by: jl at May 13, 2002 06:16 AM

The Trade was well-written and evocative. I think you should sit down and try writing some stories. Your blog entries- especially the last two or three, are always thought- (and occasionally emotion) provoking, and you could turn out to be a decent writer. At least think about giving some short stories a try.
PS- Tell Annie and your mom that we hope they had a good mother's day!

Posted by: dake at May 13, 2002 10:08 AM

Does anyone else think it's funny that all Wil said he was going to do was submit this one story and suddenly we're all pressuring him to write a book?

Hello Wil? You're laughing too, right?

Posted by: synchronicity at May 13, 2002 12:57 PM

ya dude pretty good post.

How about writing a story about playing with your transformers? I have some good stories about those.. and my GI joes.

good stuff


Posted by: hops at May 13, 2002 01:50 PM

Yup, that's what we're here for Wil, to encourage you and stroke your ego. Thanks for giving our life meaning.

Posted by: Dr. No at May 13, 2002 05:04 PM

Oh is that it?? And all this time I thought we were here for the free beer and slabs of cheese... Wow. Disillusionment.

Posted by: Internal Audience at May 13, 2002 05:22 PM

Good luck Wil!

Posted by: Alec at May 13, 2002 05:49 PM

I love "This American Life!" If they take it, though, you must insist on reading it yourself...Ira Glass doing Wil Wheaton would just be wrong. :-)

Posted by: quetzal at May 13, 2002 06:11 PM

Your writing is as bad as your acting. Please just continue to post your mindless drivel and leave the elucidation to the truly intelligent "The Republicans"

Vote Republican will, change the world for the better. Don't be a complete and utter tool of the left!

Posted by: Randy Seff at May 13, 2002 08:47 PM

Vote Randy Seff... The Right tool for the job.

Posted by: Spudnuts at May 13, 2002 09:31 PM

Vote for spud he will put an end to Randy "Ronald Reagan's gay lover" Seffy.

Vote Gay!

Posted by: hops at May 13, 2002 10:25 PM

Check out how I ignore the complete fucking losers.

Posted by: wil at May 13, 2002 11:10 PM

When I think of a Troll, I think of someone cruising around in a boat throwing out bait, I never picture a Troll under a bridge

I dont really think it counts as Ignoring when you talk about it

Posted by: bluesman at May 14, 2002 01:12 AM

I think that saying should be:

"A good mother is only as happy as her saddest child."


Posted by: eric at May 14, 2002 01:26 AM


Posted by: wil at May 14, 2002 01:41 AM

I got a Garmin for Mother's Day and my son and I have already found our first cache. If I had a blog, I would tell our experience to the masses. It was lots of fun! Thanks for turning me on to geocaching Wil. (awaiting comments re: "thanks for turning me on") :-)


Posted by: jessie at May 14, 2002 06:05 AM

I knew you weren't dead!!!!!!!!!
and also, your entry, not worth a title, has no comment space!!!!!!!!!!! Like, no button to push to leave comments!
but good luck with it all!
and i know this email structure, i have a broken hand, i can only use one!!!!!Ah!!!!!!!

Posted by: Lily at May 14, 2002 06:50 AM


Posted by: Miel at May 14, 2002 09:21 AM

Like somone else said..."no comments".
Is it tied to the "Soapbox crashes" mystery?

And now back to our ir-regular scheduled posts.

Posted by: bluecat/redblanket at May 14, 2002 09:49 AM

Fresh orange juice.

Posted by: Spudnuts at May 14, 2002 09:52 AM

Biggest one in four counties.

Posted by: Internal Audience at May 14, 2002 10:38 AM


Bid on it.

can't believe that I don't have any of that shite.

Posted by: wil at May 14, 2002 11:20 AM

Hey Wil, that second picture (Tiger Beat) is WAAAY cooler than the one you had up. Where can I get a pair of those pants?!!?


Posted by: Internal Audience at May 14, 2002 11:27 AM

Yeah, I'm a big fan of the top center one, too.

Wil looks kinda like he races cars professionally, or something.


Posted by: Rob Matsushita at May 14, 2002 12:28 PM

Hmm, 'Spend the Day with Wil Wheaton' would appear to have some very intriguing pictures. I hope they will be scanned in and posted on WWDN when you get them (the bidding doesn't seem to be going too furiously at the moment...) then we can giggle at them in a higher resolution. :-)

Posted by: NickW at May 15, 2002 08:12 AM
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