hmmmmm wonder if the cruise will come through Kentucky.....

What?! No mention of the Queen's Jubilee?! I'm offended, Wil, very offended.

Oh yeah, and CruiseTrek - nice one.

This weekend my dad and I installed a window A/C unit. It was difficult and frustrating, but when it was installed, we sat back and enjoyed the cool air and our accomplishment with a few beers.

for all you SNL'ers out there....

Loveboat: The Next Generation.

I know, I'm so cool. *cackle*

oh, yeah, and alt+0153 0\/\/|\|z j00™!

Like Wil, I also spent the weekend on my house, but cleaning. My mom sent over boxes of stuff from my old closet. In one of them was about 700,000 old "Bop" and "Tutti-frutti" magazines with lovely pictures of the fabulous Mr. Wheaton!! Several of them were cut out, as they used to be plastered on my walls. It was highly entertaining!!

CruiseTrek? Woah. ::: Must go re-think world view>

Never try to hang a door. It just doesn't work. The only worse things to attempt are windows.

LOL@Andy. The SNL reference: very funny.

Screen doors are a pain in the ASS, Wil. I think everyone has that same damn problem.

And the thought of the day is brilliant. Of course, it is Oscar Wilde...

It's nice to know you'll be heading to my homestate. I was raised in Anchorage, AK. You're going to have a great time and Alaksa is such a beautiful place.

Screen door s should be left to highly trained professionals. I paid a guy from Home Depot $120 to hang one for me on the recommendation of my father. At the time I was thinking it was a waste of money, I mean how hard could it be. It took the guy over 5 hours of steady work to get it done. Best $120 I ever spent.

3 letters Wil - DIY (www.diy.com) Brit web site for do it yourself folks.

Damn, methinks you have it made Wil.

What other TV series allows an actor to go on way cool trips and a guaranteed income for life?

You certainly don't see Tony Danza on a "Who's the Boss" Bus Ride across America. hehehe

Of course Trekker/Trekies can be fanatical and one must get tired of some of the questions they ask.

I think if I tried to sell a doll of myself on Ebay I'd be lucky to get a 50 cents. Maybe I should make it a vibrating love doll which would at least go for a buck or two.

Wil you lucky, lucky bast@*%!! The only cruise I will likely be going on is the one up the creek with no paddle. Lap it up you (see first sentence)

Also, you are a silly, silly bast^$*!! Hanging your own screen door? What the hell were you thinking? The only thing harder than hanging your own screen door is juggling six cats using all your appendages and not getting scratched - in the nude. The people in the sixties had the right idea about doors - Screw em, hang beads instead, man. Course they don't keep out the bugs as well.

Thought for the thought for the day.

What if you are consistantly imaginative?

I grew up in Alaska - The only things
I miss are the northern lights and
mountains.. Other than that, I love California!
I'm sure you'll have a blast :P

Hung a door? I hope it got a fair trial.

--NT

I am SOOOOOO jealous..THAT is my all time
favorite dream/fantasy..ALASKA...

I want your life Wil!!!

But I am (begrudgedly)happy for ya!!!

Somehow the thought of a boat full of trek nerds, and no way to escape would make me very scared.
And if the boat runs aground, all the oil from their hair will kill the wildlife.

Do you want to be responsible for that?

Wow, that is great to hear. I would dearly love to go to Alaska but that is something that will have to wait until I am WC (Without Children):). Watching pieces of glaciers crack off is supposed to be a wonderous sight. Take plenty of pictures so we all can enjoy a holiday vicariously through you.

ah, the trek cruise of my dreams:
besides kicking it back trek-style, it would be sweet to say that mr. wheaton helped me find my funny through improv. i would bring all my indie-rockin friends and a bottle of jack. somewhere in the mix we'd put together a weezer/nerfherder/boxcarracer/maodestmouse/trailofthedead cover band. wil could teach his boys how to pogo and mosh. i promise we wouldn't let them drink! ;)

Wil + Improv + Alaska Cruise = Rawk
Me + No cash + New house = Not gonna happen
Oh sure pick the one summer when I have no money and am moving into my first house. Sigh.
Excuse me while I sit the corner and whine.
*whine*whine*whine*

Sorry about that I am fine now really. *quiet whine*

Wil, enjoy the cruise it is supposed to be absolutely beautiful up there.

I think Wilde was referring to monotony. There are people who do the same thing over & over again to get a certain result and they are too afraid to try something different. Or they are just not able to think of something different. Then there are those who are consistently funny or consistently thought provoking. To be consistent in those regards requires imagination. Hmm.

Oh, man, I never had a hint that Cruise Trek even existed! Congrats, Wil! And I wish I could afford the time and the money to go!

As to the screen door - we removed it as soon as we took posession of our house - and it took ME (yes, I decided to take on that task) less than five minutes to do. How is that for ironic. I've never been to California, and a screen door may be a necessity there, but the climate in Toronto hardly requires those.

Rock on, Wil. I can tell you that I'm sure Anne appreciate this - It's so nice to have a handy husband. I should know, because mine is, and I really appreciate everything that he can do, not to mention the heap of dough he saves all the time.

"Somehow the thought of a boat full of trek nerds, and no way to escape would make me very scared."
Posted by scraping fetus at June 4, 2002 09:54 AM

That comment made me burst out laughing, which is very embarrassing in a large, professional and exceptionally quiet office...

And Wil, next time you need some home improvement help, give us a shout ;-)

I guess if you are going to go to Alaska, the summer would be the time to do it. Must be freezing any other time of the year. *Shivers* Good to know there are things to do out there other than sit home in front of the boob tube even though it involves being someplace surrounded by Trek fans. I went to Beatlesfest with a friend several times and fan conventions aren't all that bad.

Geek test:
Wil, has the thought crossed your mind of taking your eTrex Venture with you just to see the high latitude values?

Anyway, sounds like fun. The weather should be good around then.

ps make sure you take the family biking around the Stanley Park seawall, and maybe on the tram up Grouse Mountain for the view.

I wannna go!! I wanna go!!

That would soooo RAWK!!!

I wonder if my honey would see this a MUST DO VACATION thing.

It never hurts to ask....nicely. *weg*
Mwhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Gee, I guess Wil was trying on his "Mr. Fix-it pants" this weekend. My hubbie had on his "Slug pants". He hardly moved this weekend!

Have a great time on the cruise, but the thought of being trapped on a boat with trekies is a scary thought.

CRUISETREK: Deep Sea 9.
This week, on Cruisetrek Deep Sea 9, in a cameo appearance, Wil Wheaton reprises his role as Wesley Crusher, who after leaving the Traveller in order to join a comedy improv troupe, is called upon to stop the evil WC:MIB. WC:MIB, who has travelled back in time and hijacked a USPS plane, has set up headquarters of the shore of Alaska, deep in the sea.
Don't miss this Data and Lure action on the next
CRUISETREK: DEEP SEA NINE!

This is off subject but.....

HOLY SHIT It's 3D PONG!!!!

http://www.liquid.se/pong.html

damn, Damn, DAMN!!! This sounds so cool, but I already booked 2 cruises this year and my hubby would KILL ME if I booked another one...and it's probably a bit more than I should spend (the 2nd cruise is cheap because it's round-trip NYC -- no flying). Oh well...Wil, you're going to have a great time, crusing is the only way to go -- you'll get totally spoiled!

uh cruise trek? do you get to hang out with geeky trekkies and talk about episode 34 the one where Wesley saved us from the glob monster on Nimbus prime?

Unless... Spud if we went together you could teach how to mack two girls at once??

I am NOT touching THAT line...c'mom Spud?!

Wow! Alaska? That sounds too cool... My neighbors in upstate New York went to Alaska a few years ago, and they said it was unbelievably gorgeous up there. I hope you have a great time!

>^..^

Hope you have a good time Wil. It sounds really fun! i wonder if it's coming to Wisconsin...

Wow, Cruise Trek! Wish I could go! Or no, could you sail around to the coast of North Carolina? LOL! As for Home Improvement projects-- Wil, have you ever watched Trading Spaces on TLC? Just wondering! LOL

Wil,

You are going to turn me into a complete whiner! I'm lucky if our improv troupe HAS an audience much less on a CRUISE SHIP.

GRAH.

Chris/NDL

Cool on Cruise Trek Wil, but their site sux, as I cannot find a current guest list on it anywhere. Even though you are my Best Buddy Wil, I can't see dropping 2 grand on a cruise with one Celeb guest...

>>>HOLY SHIT It's 3D PONG!!!!

http://www.liquid.se/pong.html

Posted by Jessie at June 4, 2002 11:54 AM

Jeeze Jessie - that was *GREAT*!! sure beats the heck out of the black & white version from when I was a kid ; )

Guitar? you got my attention! CruiseTrek to Alaska sounds like fun. Improv workshops? Even more good news, last time I was doing improv and drew a blank I slaped my partner, HARD, it got a good reacton from the crowd at least, I wonder if that will be covered in the workshops....

As far as hanging a screen door, I do my best to avoid any household tasks beyond cleaning, but way to go Wil, Mr. Fix-it in da house as it were. Ya wanna come over and help me install this new kitchen faucet? I'll buy the beer!

Mouse,

I didn't get any work done today after I found that!

My brother & I saw the Vegas comedy troupe & LOVED IT!!!! We thought it was one the best parts of that weekend (sure beat what came after). We're hoping to do a Trek Cruise someday (I want to go to Alaska, he wants warmer climate).
In unrelated info, Wil, my husband has also done the screen door scene (twice for our 2 doors) & in the process taught our then 3 yr old daughter a whole new language that she impressed her grandma with!!! I sometimes think you need a screen door degree to get those things up...why are they so damn complicated!!!???
Other than that, everyone have a good one :)

Yay!! CruiseTrek!!

Yay!! Wil!!

Yay!! Alaska!!

Wait a minute.

Boo!! Alaska!!

Why can't Alaska be off the coast of East Anglia? Can we move it? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease *Does sweetest, cheesiest smile*

Nice thought for the day too :0) Wil-de :0D

I guess you need a Doctorate in Mechanics to get one of those doors up and running?
Seems pretty easy to me. You get it on the rails make sure its in there.. and then you open it up?

Believe it or not, my husband and I are in Alaska now, doing a cruise with my parents. The cruise itself sucks for the most part, but Alaska is AMAZING --if you like the outdoors, you'll never want to leave (at least during the summer, that is!) Definitely find time if possible to extend your stay and spend some time hiking in the backcountry in Denali with the kids --definitely one of the most incredible treks I've ever done. Imagine hiking alongside a herd of caribou, or encountering a family of Dall sheep right above you! But you've gotta get off the floating skyscraper to do it right!

Cheers!

Wil,
I need to hang a new door, maybe two, regular doors not screen doors, and now I am all apprehensive. What made this so hard? Maybe I should get some handyman type guy to do it. Fuck, that will probably cost out the ass.
John

Something different: Will Wil be seen on Directors Special Edition DVD of Trek X?? I hope so!

Wil, I know it's been a long time but I can't stop thinking about you. Maybe I could take a break from doing serial killer romantic comedys and we could have return to the past on the Trek love craft.

love always,

Ashley Judd

Possibly come through Ontario?
Yeh I know fat chance,....
But Im still sad over missing the Wesley Marathon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As for the screen door...
My dad didnt tell me he was putting one in one year and I WALKED RIGHT INTO IT!!!
Don't worry Wil...... Ive done worst things then not being able to put up a screen door!!!
Lily

Possibly come through Ontario?
Yeh I know fat chance,....
But Im still sad over missing the Wesley Marathon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As for the screen door...
My dad didnt tell me he was putting one in one year and I WALKED RIGHT INTO IT!!!
Don't worry Wil...... Ive done worst things then not being able to put up a screen door!!!
Lily

Possibly come through Ontario?
Yeh I know fat chance,....
But Im still sad over missing the Wesley Marathon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As for the screen door...
My dad didnt tell me he was putting one in one year and I WALKED RIGHT INTO IT!!!
Don't worry Wil...... Ive done worst things then not being able to put up a screen door!!!
Lily

bluecat/redblanket:

>> I am NOT touching THAT line...c'mom Spud?!

Wha?

Find a friend and we'll talk.

A FEMALE friend.

Go Clutch.

I think I could only deal with being on a boat if I had a nice, big ole room. Otherwise, bad things might happen.

For one, I can't remember if I get seasick or not.

In slightly related news, I'm thinking El Spudmaster only writes when he wants to, and not when called.

In addition, "Only Hit The Post Button ONCE" would be a good addition to the Holy Writ above the comment box.

I spoke too soon.

ok, Spuds, name the time and place.

kjb u hookin it up with spudz?

Wow. Damn that sounds like fun. I'm SO jealous. Improv sounds cool too.

Congrats on the door! I fixed the toilet! That was pretty nifty. Have YOU fixed the toilet? I also moved our 8000 BTU a/c by myself. I'll kick your butt!

I'm one tough Mama. Hey, someone around here has to get **** done...

Hops, being as The Spudman is married, no.

Congrats on the screen door install.
Hope you didn't Strain Yourselph.
Now you can have closure and announce with confidence how well hung it is.

Hey Wil,

Yeah, Norm makes it look so easy. Carpentry work is alot more complicated than most people think. And.... Alaska!!! Man, I Wanna Go To Alaska!!!

I never thought I'd say this, but
*quick breath in*
I'm jealous of Wil Wheaton.
*release*
There. I said it.

I'm not sure how I'd handle a ship-full of Trekkers (see Scraping Fetus's 9:54am comment) but it it looks like quite the adventure and I like adventure. See? You ARE still a celebrity, despite (or in spite of?) Wesley.

The screen door was a challenge, but don't you feel a sense of accomplishment? Anne must be thrilled.

OK... I know that I get paid to go to camp and all... but getting to go on a free cruise to Alaska?

*pouts*

Dude i so wanna be on that cruise!!! By strange coeincidence My hiiby and I were gonna take a cruise for out Anniversary on that same week! But we were gonna go bahama's MAybe I can get him to still wanna go---- then I could finally meet Wil!!! Will Anne be there too?? would like to met the wife as well- She's gotta be cool- She married him!

Dude i so wanna be on that cruise!!! By strange coeincidence My hubby and I were gonna take a cruise for out Anniversary on that same week! But we were gonna go bahama's MAybe I can get him to still wanna go---- then I could finally meet Wil!!! Will Anne be there too?? would like to met the wife as well- She's gotta be cool- She married him!

If you can, definitely spend some time in Vancouver before or after you go on the cruise. It's a great city (not that I'm biased or anything), and it'll be Canada Day when you get back!

YAY FOR CRUISETREK 2002 or TREKCRUISE 2002 or whatever it is called! I lived in Alaska for 5 years and loved every second of it AND I worked for Holland America, the greatest cruise line in the world! Or something. Ask me anything about it! I could prolly still hook a brotha up.

I was never involved in anything cool like a TrekCruise. I remember something about a Scrabble Cruise...

I am so jealous. I would love to go back up there. I miss it everyday.

KJB said:

>> Hops, being as The Spudman is married, no.

Alright.

Hey.

Listen up.

This three-way was never about romance.

Married has not one fucking thing to do with it.

Number one: I deserve two chicks at once. I just do. You know it. I know it. Everyone on this fucking board knows it.

I give and give and give. I give comedy. I give life. I fill mundane lives with less-mundane.

And for that...

I ought to have two chicks at once.

Or even three.

Number two: I am an extraordinary man. And extraordinary men have extraordinary appetites.

Any other guy? Yeah. He needs one woman. Me? Two. MINIMUM. Two women to Spudnuts is like one woman to any other regular joe. To deny me TWO women is to make me half a man.

Would you do that to me?

Would you cripple me and make me less than I am? Would you destroy me and take away my sight or my hearing? Because that is what you are doing if you make me only have ONE woman.

You are making me blind.

You are condemning me to a lifetime of not seeing roses, or flowers, or roses, or parades, or Vlade Divac weep openly.

Number three: If not you, then someone else.

You think you're the only woman who wants to get in on a three-way with Spudnuts?

Please.

I mean...

PLEASE.

Who are we kidding here?

Me?

No.

You're not kidding me.

And you're not fooling me.

If YOU don't get into a hot three-way with Spudnuts, someone else will.

Must.

No.

WILL.

It's like... if you don't accept the call of your nation to serve when drafted to go to Vietnam, then someone else will go in your place. Are you too rich to serve in Vietnam? Too important?

Some poor inarticulate somebody AMERICAN is going to have to go to Vietnam in YOUR place. Are you quite comfortable sending that boy off in your stead? Can you look his mother in the eye, his father, his little baby brother and say: "your son must die on foreign soil, because I was too much the prude to participate in a hot three-way with Spudnuts."

Number four: My wife will write me a note.

She will.

She loves me.

And wants me to be happy.

She'll probably drive me to the three-way and pack me a Powerbar and some milk just so I don't bonk halfway through.

When I get home, she'll say "How did the three-way go, dear" and I'll say: "I nailed it. Goddamnit, I nailed it!"

And then she'll give me a gold star and post it on the refrigerator.

Number five: this whole thing was never about romance anyway. It was about sexual athletics. Having sex with two women is my hobby. Some guys build cabinets or geocache, I do two chicks at once.

Don't hate me because I am 100% man.

When I wreck it Spudnuts-style with two horny chicks at once, it's not about MY satisfaction, it's about the purity of the sport. It's about topping my personal best. It's about six or seven times (or maybe eight if I stay focused and remain properly hydrated).

Number... whatever the fuck the last number was plus ONE:

I give.

Yes, I bang two chicks because there is only one of me. That's not right. I know it. You know it.

How the fuck can I come on this board and day in and day out reject the pleas of so many lonely women whose only crime is loving me too damned much?

How can I?

Well.

I can't.

I'm only human.

This apparatus.

This monstrous THING between my legs belongs to ALL the women of planet Earth. It would be a crime -- no worse than a crime -- it would be selfish and onanistic (dictionary.com: cuz I barely know what the fuck that word means) to keep this supreme member to myself.

So step aside, young American, if you must, but I guarantee-fucking-damn-tee you that that three-way WILL take place and I will be smack dab in the middle of it. Because that's what I'm about.

wil, the hanging of doors will get easier as time goes by... I can just see & hear the language as I picture this.. would make a great
sketch would it not?

as for "thoughts of the day" I've always liked
this one;

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited.
Imagination encircles the world."
-Albert Einstein

Spuds, you've convinced me.

And Rob, if you don't make THAT piece of beauty into a mp3, you will be forever denied eternal happiness.

Wil wil wil wil wil wil wil.
Enjoy the cruise.
I'm not the type to beable to afford a cruise.
I can only think on one way of getting on that cruise.
Need any extra improv buddies??? :)
...Please?
Don't close th--.

Poop.

On another note, I've never hung a door, but from what it sounds like, it makes putting those little round washers on the bottom of old motherboards a walk in the park.
It makes pulling a 20 pound MFM hard drink like a piece of cake.
It makes....well, you get the idea.

Sounds hard. Take care!

You're the first guy I know to have 222 comments in one entry! You definitely have so many readers. Cool blog! Will add you to my favorite links. Chiao!

Oh come on, Wil.
Home improvement is GREAT!!!
You can pound a bit at your thumb.
You can swallow a nail.
You can get an electroshock.
You can fall off a ladder.
...
And don't forget home improvement is just a question of NERVES!

DocShakes

Ahhh....Alaska....went on a week-long cruise to various ports of call there a couple years back. On a paid-for-by-family trip. When the Alaska Cruise Trek was announced, at its cheapest rates, I said to myself "Been there, done that....will wait for a destination I haven't seen." Of course, I could have afforded it then....now I've been laid off, so I have to wait not only for the destination I want, but for the money to be flowing again.

Perhaps the destination, the money, and dream-guest list will all converge at some appropriate time in the future.

KJB beat me to this, but I must reiterate: "Rob, if you don't make THAT piece of beauty into a mp3, you will be forever denied eternal happiness."

Spudnuts--dictionary.com? Any man who uses ennui on his website should have no trouble with onanistic.

hmmm...that's strange. Haven't been to the Cruise Trek site for awhile. They still have the 2001 info up, as if they're still taking reservations, in addition to the 2002. And they haven't declared the 2003 cruise yet. I remember receiving a flyer in the mail at one point in time suggesting 2003 would be in Hawaii...

The link to the chatgroup still says egroups...egroups hasn't existed for how long?

Has the Cruise Trek website moved somewhere else? Or are they just not putting new cruises on the web, and you need to get the information somewhere else?

Damn Spuds, I haven't felt this patriotic in a long time. You have moved me to SERVE MY COUNTRY!

Now if I can just convince my husband...

HEY!

I just figured it out... that means that unless
mr wil wheaton takes his portable pc withhim... there will be nothing to do here @ wwdn!

wil, the pressure is on... there better be some great stories to tell after your trip...

I wish I could go, but it takes 3 months to get an idea when you can take a vacation here where I work.

What's so hard about hanging storm/screen doors? I've hung, between my current house and the first one I bought, four storm/screen doors.

What's the big deal? And no, I'm not a carpenter or construction worker. I'm a network administrator/programmer.

It's not hard. Just take your time and follow the directions!

Kahuna

This might not be the right place but: Congratulations on your (USA's) victory over Portugal in the World Cup! Well done.

SPudZ you = my hero.

have you ever thought of going for 4 girls at once?

4 girls takes alot out of you.

hops said:

>> 4 girls takes alot out of you.

No, four girls takes a lot out of YOU.

KJB said: And Rob, if you don't make THAT piece of beauty into a mp3, you will be forever denied eternal happiness.

Way ahead of you, sweetie.

"Somehow the thought of a boat full of trek nerds, and no way to escape would make me very scared.
And if the boat runs aground, all the oil from their hair will kill the wildlife.

Do you want to be responsible for that?"

Posted by scraping fetus at June 4, 2002 09:54 AM

That made me laugh so hard! Thanks, it felt gooooood. :)

Oh Spud!

I am in love with you. I really am...=)

I volunteer! can you draft me? =P

*sigh* I wish I could go to Cruise Trek and still be one Of Spudnuts threesome girls.

(fingers crossed)

Now, me, I would do the Alaska cruise thing, but not sure if I would board a ship full of Trekkies. That's almost frightening... to be stuck on a boat with a hoard of 'em.

Will there be a mutiny? Will those Trekkies plot against Wesley?

B1ATCH said:

>> *sigh* I wish I could go to Cruise Trek and still be one Of Spudnuts threesome girls.

Listen.

I am totally down for that. Who says this thing only has to happen once? It might have to happen once a week.

Or twice a day.

It's about getting the job done.

I'll look into setting up some type of elaborate online form to get this whole threesome thing organized. I'll need to make sure everyone's papers are in order and that all participants present at least two forms of personal identification.

We can do this thing, people.

You just have to believe.

It's a community event.

Like a barn raising...

Except instead of a barn, it's well...

NOT a barn.

mm the Spud-version of the "i have a dream" speech, coming soon to an audio-player near you...

the online form sounds practical, where do i sign?

SpaceCadet, just wondering why you think the climate in Toronto doesn't require a screen door. Personally after the beginning of June I never close my actual door unless i'm out of the house. A screen door is a must, where in Toronto do you live...the one cold place in the whole city in July?????

Hey Spudnuts...I think I was the first to volunteer, does that count for anything?

I wanna go first!

I would just like to take this opportunity to apologize to television's Wil Wheaton for turning the comments section from his cruise to Alaska post into a "let's get Spudnuts a three-way" thread.

It's just that...

Well.

I could never organize this type of thing at williamshatner.com.

Can I have the sloppy 2nds?

No.

If I was only as cool as the master spudz :-|

Can I hang out near you or maybe near the same boat?

India and Pakistan are at war, people are starving, Star Wars is out - and your complaining about a screen door? Are you insane? a life less ordinary, and of no use to anyone.

Alaska is home to me, so Wil if there's anything you want to know about this place - let me know! I hope you take the comedy clique off ship to entertain we provincial fools...

Really, I've lived here for my whole life and hate to boast, but do have a pretty good knowledge of the state - and if I don't know, I usually can find someone who does! Helps to work in research...

If Jessie was first, does that make me second?

And since it's a threeway, does that mean that ...

Oooo.

And thank you, Rob. When I hear that, I'll be halfway to heaven by the time it's over.

Wil -

I felt it important for me to point out that...

Oh screw it! I am waaaaaaaay too jealous of Studnuts right now to say anything even remotely intellectual about some damn boat ride. But hey, take your buddy Chris Hardwick on the trip and we could have "Trekkie-Shipmates!" I'd be game for that. Just don't hook me up with one of Stud's chicks... Aw, hell. If you put a couple hundred horny trek-girls on a boat with me and Spudnuts, there's no doubt that I'd be the one going home alone.

Listen up all you she devils out there salavating over Spuds words.
I was there first.

I was in the dirt, crawling through the trenches, dodging VH1 Reality TV Cameras, doing Spud artwork- all for the man.

And you want to be first...

Ha

Sex is not something you can just do

It's a skill, it's a work ethic, it's a way of life!

It takes lots of hours of "self practice" to get that mouthwatering big O kids.
It's muscle control, and moaning practice.
I've trained with some of the best singers in the country to sound like I do in bed.
It takes time and porn to know the best way to service your fellow men and women.
Then with careful selection you work with the masters in an intensive internship.

So let me tell all of you that I don't think you have the snuff, the drive, or the commitment to be able to do it.

But I do dammit.

And don't try to question me, challenge me, or anything else cause there will be a meeting of steak knives and eyes.

-MKF

I swear to god.

I leave you people alone for FIVE MINUTES and look what happens!

Nothing's happened YET, Wil.

Not for lack of trying on Spuds' part, though.

I think it was a little more than five minutes, Mr. Wheaton. Then again, we haven't heard from Spudnuts in a while. I think he and the ladies might be getting an early start on CruiseTrek, if you know what I mean...

Anyways, since we're all either clammoring about Spudnuts' sexual prowess or feeling the urge to leave our "inspirational thoughts", I thought I'd offer up one with true practical applications. Besides, it might help seeing as you've been sweating over some deadlines the last few days...

"If you're gonna write a comedy scene, you're gonna have some rat feces in there..."
David Cross, Mr. Show with Bob and David

God, I love that...

Well, there's some sci-fi porn on Skinamax right now... Perhaps I should go.

Hey, I've seen a "picture" of Spuds. Da-amn.

And you are correct, Miss Kitty Fantastico. I bow to your superior wisdom and experience.

Dude I get to be Spudz wingman.. We are gonna do the Culberts Starburst all over some hot klingon Bettys!!!

For everybody's information Spud was busy with me!!!!!

Spudnuts that was unforgettable, memorable, satisfying, electrifying, stupendous, and ultimately momentous.

Such skill, ohhhhhhhh I will never forget the way you held and caressed. The way you aimed with such precision, contention and excellence.

You really are the master of it. You really do know everything there is to know. You taught me so much I will never forget the way you pushed and stripped each layer, to expose the beauty beneath ohhhhhhhhhh so breathtaking!

Can I watch you use your Photoshop again *L*

What? What? Gezz you people, what did you think was going on? *tsk *tsk Wil was right you people can't be trusted!

(puts halo back on) *tsk *tsk *sigh =P

Miss Kitty Fantastico-

i, a relative WWDN-neophyte compared to those such as yourself, spudnuts, rob, etc, would never presume to consider myself your peer. of course your wisdom and experience far surpass mine in such matters. my apologies.

can i help it that i discovered this place and these people too late? sniff. now i'm just another girl... lusting over spudnuts... or, rather, the wit and wisdom dispensed by this nameless faceless (to me) spudnuts.

and besides, what girl wouldn't JUMP at the chance for a threesome?

ha.

"Come on baby get your friend in here and we can edit some pictures of me again in funny positions with that picture of wil. Oh yea baby touch my mouse. touch it!" -spudz '02

I just want everyone to know that on my lunchbreak today I went to Sears and bought a weight bench and some weights.

Why did I do that?

They had this really sweet edger that was about the same price and my lawn is really getting aggressive with my sidewalk. The neighbors notice. And they talk. Those fuckers talk and talk and talk.

So.

I was thinking... maybe the edger.

Or some Xbox thing.

But then I was like...

No.

The weight set.

Why?

I don't look too bad in my un-clothes. But, ladies... "not too bad" is not good enough. I've got to look extraordinarily unbad. I need a physique that can make grown men weep. And women too.

I guess.

I need an outer me that can match the inner me.

How the fuck is it gonna look if I show up at some as-yet-to-be-named economy lodge in the Midwest to service a chorus line of Spud-loving honeys and my abs are three-pack? Sure, they're "okay." They're "fine." But fuck that.

Fuck fine.

Fuck it two tines.

Fuck.

I'm sweating for you, ladies.

Because quality goes in before the name goes on.

if this was a different era i might swoon. but that's a bit too victorian, i think.

nothing like a mix of amusement and arousal [ ;) ] to keep you coming back to wilwheaton.net.

(sorry, wil. can't help it. and- nah i wish not to break the mood. stick with "lusting" for spudnuts.)

Hehee... you all have no idea how much fun it was writting the last post.

Now I trully believe that all women have the power to be a lil' sex goddess.

To become that you don't need to lose something.

You need to gain it.

Confidence in yourself is the biggest bonus you can ever bring.

But for men... Spuds... get all buff baby- we'll wait.

Isabel and all the other ladies-

I was just securing first.
You call all fight over that lusty second spot.
Just make sure you capture it on video.

And Hops... never a klingon moment for me.
I may get disowned from Spuds' lil' world but I have a higher place in my heart for B5 than Trek.
And that all comes down to one thing- Trek only had ONE Harlan Ellison episode and B5 had 5 seasons of that man in the mix.

I wouldn't be the women I am if that crazy angry man didn't write as fine and funny shit as he does.

-MKF

isabel said:

>> arousal

It was the part about the edger, wasn't it?

that, and the economy lodge in the midwest.

i'm a huge slut for fuzzy television reception and unidentified-yellowish-stain decor.

(ew)

So, clearly this thing is already growing beyond reasonable limits. I could just set-up a domain called www.letsgetspudhisthreeway.com, but I suspect the bandwidth issues on that would make this site's woes look quaint by comparison.

No.

What I need is some type of email address to accept names for this project.

You know... some type of mailing list that sends out updates on my pecs or lats or such. Lets all of the lovely young women know how my training is coming along. Make sure everyone gets a number and the line-squabbling issues are kept to a minimum.

I'll try to set something up tomorrow and post the address here.

Don't worry.

I've already entered this "to do" onto my PDA:

"Organize threeway with hot chicks from WWDN."

I labeled it "high" priority.

Red color.

So, I'm pretty sure that means I'll get around to it.

LMAO...@Spud and isabel

Wil for me that Uncle Willy look will never fade. If I don't gain a space in the Spudslutsorama, it's ok coz I know in Uncle Willy's strong and yielding imaginary arms I will always be welcomed.

The excitement of knowing that at any moment he would look up from that pile of work he has and wipe all these comments is enough excitement for me.

That hat and that smile does it for me anytime, pimp me Uncle Willy.

Oh! just the thought of it tee hee.

I hope none of my relatives read this ( I was just kidding Ma!)

I remain your faithful servant Wil, please post something new as this comments board is getting way toooooo HOT, and Spud hasn't even posted his new photoshop makeover.

I wonder if Uncle Willy lifts weights too??

Aha! a new thought to amuse me while I get ready for work..hmmmm

I think that if this threeway can somehow be arranged to coincide in some way with magically advanced screenings of the next two LotR movies and SWIII, then I might just be able to die happy.

Will there be chocolate involved?

As we speak, Wil must be working on setting up a BAC (Boring Adult *Comments*) thread...

Oh, he's already got that in the Soapbox. This window's just more fun.

IF YOU GO BACK TO MARCH 2002 ARCHIVES I WAS FIRST!

SO TAKE THAT!

SPUDNUTS REMEMBERS!

NOW you all can get it line to argue over WHO
is going to be SECOND, THIRD, ETC.

Hm ...however perhaps Spuddy and I should
confer ON THAT ISSUE.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE, (IMMORTAL!)ONE.

I fixed the toilet. Have YOU fixed the toilet.

I rule. Always.

You want me to spend time going through an archive just to point out that I indeed was the first?

Can't- cuts into my bass playing time and my kazoo lessons.

Spuds is ultimately in charge of who seeks out his pants and boldly goes wherever he wants.

He knows who's been naughty and who deserves steak knives in eyes.

I have faith in Spuds.

Egocentricity.

It wasn't too long ago that you were slagging Vancouver because we tend to attract a lot of what you termed "runaway productions". Now you'll be visiting our fair city... Enjoy your time here Wil.

You know, it's not our fault that it's cheaper to make movies here...

Ooo, kazoo!

Yeah I'm really getting good.

I have "Tribute" by Tenacious D almost down.

Side note: I am so gonna kick Ferrell's butt for destroying that BEAUTIFUL B5 plate in the "Panic Room" spoof on the MTV movie awards.
I mean I could understand breaking a smurf plate, or hell even a Crusade plate with Peter Woodward's signed autograph and all (the man is a stuffy ol' codger anyhoo) but a B5 cast plate?
Sick man. Sick.

-MKF

Hi Wil,

Hope you enjoy your time in Vancouver if you get a chance to look around before you embark. It's a great city, I live a ferry away from it. BTW, if you would like a tour guide, it'd be cool to meet you. BTW: I'm 38/F and not a wingnut. There.

Also BTW: Statistically, Canada represents just 20% of the U.S. produced movies/shows. Think: Harry Potter (England), Star Wars/clones (Australia), Lord of the rings (New Zealand), Notting Hill (England), etc.

I seriously considered going on one of those things. But seeing as how I get horribly boat sick there's not a chance. Not to mention there's also the fact that I have a horse, 2 cows, 2 cats, and a diabetic mother to take care of.
You think a screen door is a pain? Try ripping up your flooring so it can be replaced. I still have to fix my ceiling, the plumbing, the wiring, my closet doors, the walls in the laundry room, and the entire freaking barn. Now THAT is going to be fun.
Of course that's not really home improvement, it's home repair after what my deadbeat tenants did to the place.
luv,
-Su

What's Crackin! - Just need to go Play Bingo - for my Online Bingo Habit! But I cannot Find a Good Bingo Online website to cover my bingo addiction!

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