WIL WHEATON dot NET: Where is my mind?: It's new to you!

June 06, 2002

It's new to you!

Summertime in my youth was always a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, it meant no school, and long days of swimming, exploring the wash, daring each other to race our bikes without hands down The Big Hill, and endless sleepovers.

On the other hand, it meant that there wouldn't be anything new or interesting on TV for at least four months.

Isn't it strange, that as children we could watch the same episodes of Scooby Doo and Gilligan's Island over and over again, and never get tired of them, but when summer showed up, and CHiPs went into re-runs, it was a major thing?

Maybe it's just me.

So I hated re-runs. I always felt like the people making the shows were loafing, and I wanted my TV, dammit.

Then eMpTyVee came along, and gave me the attention span of a ferret, and I didn't care any more.

Oh, this is totally unrelated to anything, but I have really nasty poison oak on my right arm, and the back of my left hand. I must have gotten it when I took Ryan geocaching last weekend. Yesterday, I scratched my arm so badly I made it bleed. I looked like I was from one of those scary movies about a guy who has poison oak and he scratches his arm so badly it bleeds. Scary!

Where was I? Ah. Reruns.

So I hated them. But, since I work primarily as a writer now, I understand that there are days, weeks, or even months, when you are just completely out of ideas.

This week has been like that. All of my creative energy is going to Arena, the ACME show, and getting ready for the sketch comedy show on the cruise.

But you know the cool thing about re-runs? If you didn't watch every episode, the re-run would be what the geniuses at NBC called "New To You!" Meaning, of course, that they wouldn't have to do any new work, and they could entertain a whole new group of people for free.

So guess what I'm doing today? Re-running an old weblog entry from August 27, 2001.

It's a story that I really like to tell, and that I'd like to share with anyone who's just showing up for the first time around here.

It's the story of how my wife found our dog, and it's called "Save Ferris."

Save Ferris

I'm listening to Cake right now. Have you noticed that Cake is one of those bands that evokes a visceral reaction in people? I mean, they either really, really love it, or they really, really hate it. I dunno, maybe it's just me.

Here's the story of Ferris:

My wife is the coolest, ever. You know that stupid corny hallmark-card thing about someone making you want to be a better person? Well, sorry, I like to be anti and all Emo and shit, but it's true. I love my wife more than anything, and she really does make me want to be a better person. I could gush about her for pages here, but I'm not gonna. I am going to exercise restraint.

Oh, fuck that. I knew from the moment that I saw Anne that I would marry her. Isn't that weird? Has that ever happened to someone who wasn't in some godawful Nora Ephron movie? And the way we met...it was all timing. My best girlfriend, Stephanie, worked with Anne for YEARS, but she never introduced us...I mean, she even babysat Anne's kids, at MY PARENT'S HOUSE when we were younger, and she never introduced me to Anne...because, when we look back at stuff, the timing was just all wrong. We weren't ready to meet each other. But when we did, it was bootylicious.

Anne is beautiful. I mean, she is fucking hella rad.

Hella.

I always joke that when we are out, people look at us and complain that there's another hot babe with a geek. I say that I am Bob Goldthwait to her Nikki Cox, David Copperfield to her Claudia Schiffer, Sigfried to her Roy...I truly adore my wife, and that's all I have to say about that.

One of the things I adore about her is how she has what Soul Coughing called "Boundless Love". Anne works every day, takes her kids to school, picks them up, deals with their dad, and still has time to make me feel like I'm important in her life.

We have this fake dog poop that someone gave us a long time ago, and we have the game that we play, where we try to put the poop in each other's stuff. Recently, I stuck it in the toe of her shoe, which was in her suitcase. She found it when she put her shoe on in Vegas. She put it in the exact middle of my bed, under the sheets, and it scared the hell out of me when I jumped into bed around 230 or something last week. My point is, my wife is cool, okay? Yesterday, when I was sobbing like a little bitch in our bedroom, she came in, sat next to me, put her arm around me, and just sat there, loving me. I could feel it. Then she gave me Kleenex, and told me that she'd leave me alone until I felt better.

So you need to know that to understand the story of Ferris.

Anne is a sucker for hard-luck cases, especially animals. One time a few years ago, she almost got hit on the freeway, because she saw a kitten running in the slow lane...so she stopped her car right there and got out to save the kitten, but it got hit by a car just before Anne could get to it, and Anne sat on the freeway, holding the kitten while it died in her hands.

She was fucked up about it for months.

So about 18 months ago, she and I are on our patio, and we hear this meowing coming from our garage. We both thought it was one of my cats, Biko or Sketch, (who are both inside cats, but occasionally get out), so we went to look...and out comes this skinny black cat with no tail. Anne immediately falls in love with him, and she takes him to the vet, to get him healthy again, while I make the "Found Cat" posters. Long story short: We thought he was going to die, the vet said he was just dehydrated, we got him shots, and Anne named him "Felix". He has lived with us ever since, and he is one ot the coolest cats, ever.

Shortly after Felix came to live with us, a woman Anne works with told us about this guide dog she trained, who was also named Felix. She told us that Felix works for a guy up in Canada (and you can't spell "runaway production" without Canada!), and Felix had been hit by a car, and they weren't sure if he would be able to work as a guide dog any more. I guess when a service dog has to be retired, they give the person who trained that animal the right of first refusal as a place to live out their life, but Rita (Anne's friend) lives in an apartment with her husband and young son. Not the best place for a 90 pound lab. So Rita asked her if Felix could come to live with us, and of course Anne said "yes". Long story short: Felix was okay, and he's still working with his guy in Canada. Which is great, because I can only imagine what the bond between service dog and owner must be like. I would just speculate that it's similar to parent-child, and I always hoped that Felix would be able to stay with his guy. In the process of waiting to see if Felix would come live with us, we got on a list for guide dogs who flunk their final exam, because we have wanted a dog for AGES, and we thought that would be the best way to get one.

We are ADAMANTLY opposed to pet stores selling dogs and cats, by the way /soapbox.

Anyway, cut to Memorial day this year. We have no dog. Anne is taking the kids to Home Depot, so they can buy the materials necessary to make a grind rail (they're all about the short boards. I'm all about the long boards. It makes for an interesting dynamic when we skate).

Funny aside: Ryan (12) and Nolan (10) were talking about how excited they were to get a grind rail, which they kept calling a "pole". Nolan says to Ryan, "We TOTALLY have to get some grinding wax, Ryan!" Ryan replies, "Yeah, so we can wax our pole!"

Okay, so they're leaving the Home Depot, and instead of going to the left, to get back to the freeway like they always do, Anne goes right, and passes this bus stop, where this tiny little dog is chewing on a t-shirt. Anne says that she felt compelled to stop and save her. So she did. As soon as she got out of the car, the dog ran into some Oleander bushes, and Anne spent close to 30 minutes getting her out, and took her to an Emergency vet, for some shots and to get the ticks out of her ears.

So Anne brings home this skinny, 27 pound, depressed little dog, and I must be totally honest, I was pissed. I was so mad that she had made this huge decision to take on the responsibility of a dog without consulting me. I mean, we have enough responsibilities already, you know? We really had it out. There was much gnashing of teeth, and Sir Robin soiled his armor. We finally agreed to keep her for a few days, and see how she was, and if she wasn't any better, we'd take her to a shelter where they don't euthanize the animals.

Well, the dog was terrified of me. She had CLEARLY been abused by a man, and she was terrified of men. "Great," I thought, "I'm going to be responsible for a dog who never lets me pet her. Terriffic."

And for the first 12 hours--wait, I know I'm not supposed to start a sentence with a conjunction. But I can't spell for shit, so why are you complaining now? Jeeze. Get off my back, Mrs. Lee [9th grade english teacher who flunked me because she said I couldn't write. I win.]--for the first 12 hours, she sat by the side door, never moving, never eating, just looking depressed. But somehow, my amazing wife loved this dog enough, and totally turned her around. Within 12 hours she was wagging her entire body, eating, chasing a tennis ball, and generally acting like a dog. And she let me pet her, and started following me everywhere around our house.

So we decided to keep her. But she needed a name...and that was very important. I wanted to give her a name from Mythology..."Athena" or "Psyche" or something. I know, lame. Deal. The kids wanted to name her "Haley", which didn't work for me at ALL, because in high school I had the most painful crush on a girl named Haley who treated me like Duckie...so we decided that we'd try on different names for a few days, and the right one would reveal itself to us.

Anne comes home from work the next day, comes in the door, looks at me and says, "Ferris."

"Bueller?"

"Sort of. Save Ferris!"

Okay, there is this band from OC that we LOVE called Save Ferris. They play with our friends fairview a lot. They rule.

Anne says, "Get it? Save Ferris. I totally saved Ferris!"

I looked at the dog, looked at her sweet, marble eyes and soft little puppy-fuzzy-head, and it was perfect. Not surprising, considering that it came from my wife.

So her name is "Ferris".

Isn't that a cool story?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Posted by wil at June 6, 2002 09:22 AM

Comments

Wil, it sounds like you have an awesome family. A Hella gorgeous wife and some funny kids. :)

Posted by: JoshAct at June 6, 2002 09:30 AM

(*wipes away a tear*)

A lovely tale. Now if only a geek girl could find a hella fine geek boy....

Posted by: Fran at June 6, 2002 09:32 AM

Oh it's a cool story. Hella Cool.

Hella.

:-)

Posted by: Sean at June 6, 2002 09:37 AM

Hey Wil. Great story. I read it when you originally posted it about a year ago, but it's still really sweet. It's really cool how it shows how much you love your awesome family (and of course, pets are part of the family too!).

This just goes to prove that sometimes reruns can be really cool and give you that "warm fuzzy feeling" inside.

Lol. Yeah I know I need a life....
~S(hannon)

Posted by: CinciShannon at June 6, 2002 09:38 AM

Oh, great story. My fur-kids salute you. :)

Posted by: Kelly at June 6, 2002 09:39 AM

When are you getting a dog named Cameron to take the day off with Ferris? Or you could just name it Capt. Harriman.

Posted by: Shawn at June 6, 2002 09:42 AM

Thanks for reposting that- I'm one of the people who hasn't read that particular blog entry that, and I love hearing about pets.

Which reminds me- a friend of mine has this cat that she recently adopted named Blitzen. Blitz isn't doing too well, and the vets have been trying to figure out what's wrong with him for the past several weeks. So if any of you could send some healing mojo to Blitzen (and some happy mojo for his owner, Khaki), I'm sure it'd be much appreciated.

And Wil, give Anne some extra hugs from me for being so kind to animals who really need it. I'm glad you've found such a loving person to be with! :)

Posted by: Toonces at June 6, 2002 09:53 AM

Wonderful story. I learned alot today. I am quite happy that there are people in this world like you and Anne.

Posted by: Max Xanth at June 6, 2002 09:54 AM

a great story wil.....and obviously a great wife and family
thanks for bringing it back...

it WAS new to me!

i'v eonly been around for a year or so, poking in and out, and only in the last 5 or 6 months have made this a daily stop....so it was cool to read that....

thanks Wil

Posted by: Tyson at June 6, 2002 09:55 AM

I gotta admit I always wondered how you settled on ferris for a dog name, I was just considering naming my first born ferris.

Posted by: jadis at June 6, 2002 09:58 AM

Wil

Great story! I'd never read it before, so it was New To Me! It's obvious that family is very important to you and instead of being some jaded Hollywood jerk, you're a regular guy. Lots of respect for that! Please don't ever lose that quality.

Cake + visceral reaction? I think it's you. I like a few of their songs but that's about it. Somehow I'd think that something pop and evil would cause a visceral reaction, but THAT could be just me.

Posted by: john the transplanted nebraskan at June 6, 2002 09:59 AM

I just started reading this site a few months ago, so I guess I qualify as part of the "New To You!" audience. Wil, your depth and sensitivity continue to amaze me! Anne is one lucky woman. How cool would it be to be loved and love someone so completely?! Just when I'm about to swear off men as unfeeling jerks, I read something like this. Sigh. Can you give workshops for the guys I've been out with lately?

Posted by: Lisa at June 6, 2002 10:03 AM

I've been visiting this blog regurarly since mid September last year, and this was totally new to me (I never got to browse the archives). Thanks for that look back, Wil, and as always, your stories amaze me :)

You are blessed in so many ways.

Posted by: SpaceCadet at June 6, 2002 10:03 AM

Well, um, now that I'm back from blubbing like a great big wuss....

That is without doubt one of the sweetest, coolest stories ever. your wife did the right thing, and I bet you've never really regreted it.

Oh, and speaking as a guy who absolutely adores fuzzy animals, especially dogs, is there any chance you could post a picture of Ferris?
Please?

Posted by: Fluffy at June 6, 2002 10:06 AM

Wil,

Such a sweet story! It is also new to me, as I haven't read many of your past blogs. I think it's great that you can share your happiness with all of us 'boxers. Some guys are uncomfortable with that, but to each his own, I guess. :]

Thanks for the re-run!

Posted by: galestorm at June 6, 2002 10:08 AM

I'm just posting here to see my name five feet long and luminous.

Guess I'd better change my colors, font size, and monitor...

--NT

Posted by: Nuclear Toast at June 6, 2002 10:10 AM

You're right about reruns. I use to get so pissed when a repeat of Love Boat came on!

*Cue the song*
Love, exciting & new come aboard we're expecting you... bleh!

Sounds like you've found someone who makes you happy. There's nothing better then a real live person (those blow up dolls sometimes pop) you love sleeping next to you through the night. As long as she doesn't snore or have IBS.

I think for your next prank you should stick a real turd in her shoe.

Posted by: Eyeno at June 6, 2002 10:11 AM

What a sweet tale. You ranimals are such and integrate part of your family. My boyfriend and I adore out kitties like they were our children too.

Posted by: Bliss at June 6, 2002 10:18 AM

That was a very cool story, Wil. It sounds like Anne is very compassionate. If a person is a true animal lover, it says so much about their over-all personality too.

BTW-mad props to your dog's name sake. They go above and beyond.

Posted by: Buddha at June 6, 2002 10:19 AM

That was a very cool story, Wil. It sounds like Anne is very compassionate. If a person is a true animal lover, it says so much about their over-all personality too.

BTW-mad props to your dog's name sake. They go above and beyond.

Posted by: Buddha at June 6, 2002 10:19 AM

Great doggie story, but now *I'M* fucked up after reading about the kitten who got run over. My cat's gonna have it in for you since when I get home I'm going to hug him for hours. He can't stand that. ;P

Posted by: Gwalchmai at June 6, 2002 10:22 AM

New to me, too. Well, after following the "sobbing like a little bitch" link (who could resist?), I must say this:
Wil Wheaton, you are a real man.
Only such a creature could, not only openly experience his full range of emotions, but be secure enough to share them with the same strangers who in part caused his unrest to begin with.
Appreciate yourself, everyday, no matter what. You're a rare breed.

Posted by: Internal Audience at June 6, 2002 10:42 AM

Hey Wil,

I've read it before and I've read it again. It still pulls on the heartstrings, but not as much as the stuff about your dad when he had that infection. That stuff really got to me for my own set of reasons.

About that poison oak, you really shouldn't be scratching dude. That can't be healthy, especially if your scratching enough to BLEED FROM IT!

Laters,

Posted by: Chuck at June 6, 2002 10:47 AM

Great story Wil. I'm new to the site and I appreciate the reposting of this entry. It would be great to see a picture of little Ferris. You and Anne sound like a normal and loving couple. There's enough dysfunction in Hollywood with divorces and people acting like divas (both men and women). It's great to read that celebrities are just like everyday people. As far as re-runs are concerned, I was one of those people who spent the majority of my youth running around and playing outside so I didn't get a chance to see an episode on its original air date. But then again, re-runs could be disconcerting when it comes to finding out the details of a storyline as in the case of Farscape re-runs on the Sci-Fi channel right now.

Posted by: pavlova27 at June 6, 2002 10:47 AM

Wil,
It was new to me, so your little trick worked. Only you didn't exactly cop out, I mean, you still had a new introduction. Writers do that all the time. So that post is just going into its second edition I guess.

I'm pretty ill right now but I'm waiting for my boss to get back to finish some business (damn I'm a good employee). Without being able to do much work, today's blog was the perfect thing to read for the past 30 mins. Thanks!

- Ariel

Posted by: reltm at June 6, 2002 11:00 AM

Today's article is the best example of why I love your site Wil ~ thanks for the re-run! Your wife is the best. When are we gonna get another article out of her? (beg, beg, beg).

Your arm get better once you stop scratching it and put some calomine lotion on it!

Posted by: Laura Elizabeth at June 6, 2002 11:07 AM

hey there wil,
great story, great writing.
its nice to hear about people doing good things and about people being in love. my lifes kinda crappy at the moment and stuff like this cheers me up.
thanks mate,
shaun
uk

Posted by: shaun at June 6, 2002 11:16 AM

*puppy!*
I'm sitting in a computer lab at school and i really want to gurgle out *puppy* like most imbeciles do when they see a fuzzy lil puppppy. Somehow it seems inappropriate amongst psych stats. Ick.
But yeah, Uncle Willy, your site is waycool. Found ya after the bloggies, and first it was hilarious that my star trek idol really was a geek, and now it's the last blog i read every morning. Like dessert (as in usually i cheat and read it first).

Posted by: indigo at June 6, 2002 11:25 AM

Awe! Wil that was such a sweet story! Thank you for posting it! I love animal rescue stories! You seem like such a nice, funny man, with a very good family. Keep up the good work on your site. I love coming on to your site and finding you have a new entrey! This entrey was especially nice!

Posted by: Ashley at June 6, 2002 11:28 AM

I Love WIL-RUNS...

Posted by: ze-mag at June 6, 2002 11:30 AM

wil,
i've been a faithful reader almost since the beginning and both times around i thought "save ferris" it was a very quality post. i really appreciate your humanity.

the teacher who flunked you because you couldn't write should see you now, when you write well, you fucking write well. thank you.

i also dig cake.
you are a retrocrush a girl can be proud of.

brie

Posted by: brieanna at June 6, 2002 11:34 AM

WWDN is in RERUN MODE??? NO... Are you out of fresh ideas?

Posted by: RockerDown at June 6, 2002 11:35 AM

Way to go Anne !! What a Woman !!
You've got a real sweetheart there Wil.

Posted by: Chalus at June 6, 2002 11:38 AM

Way to go Anne !! What a Woman !!
You've got a real sweetheart there Wil.

Posted by: Chalus at June 6, 2002 11:38 AM

Way to go Anne !! What a Woman !!
You've got a real sweetheart there Wil.

Posted by: Chalus at June 6, 2002 11:38 AM

Your wife is truly amazing...but you already knew that! ;)

Posted by: NephraTari at June 6, 2002 11:47 AM

Anne, you're a goddess! My furbaby, Willow, and I salute you. :-)
Wil, you are the luckiest guy alive! But I think you know that already. ;-)

Emma

Posted by: Emma at June 6, 2002 11:48 AM

That episode always gets me...

Posted by: Jenny at June 6, 2002 12:04 PM

That episode always gets me...

Posted by: Jenny at June 6, 2002 12:04 PM

*With Tears*
That was soo cool, Anne is definatly a very cool woman- You are a Lucky Dude!!!

Poison Oak- eck! try not to scratch it will spread into other areas, that would be bad- get some Aloe Vera!!!!!!

Posted by: Andie-Gypsy_girl at June 6, 2002 12:12 PM

seen it.

Posted by: george at June 6, 2002 12:18 PM

I have 1 4 U b/c U R my friend U Stupid Rerun U
BBS BBS
BSB?

Posted by: Chelsey at June 6, 2002 12:23 PM

*changes channel looking for something new*
;)

Posted by: soapbox jon at June 6, 2002 12:31 PM

ok...what exactly is geocaching???

Posted by: ked at June 6, 2002 01:03 PM

KED: Look on soapbox to see meaning of "geo etc."

WHY ARE WE IN RERUNS??? DAMMIT Wil ..now I'm
trying to listen for the ice-cream truck!!!!

Don't we pay you enough to think original
thoughts ALL the time!!!(just funnin' calm down!)

Loved the story the FIRST time!!!

Posted by: bluecat/redblanket at June 6, 2002 01:10 PM

I think Ferris needs a friend named Cameron.

Posted by: Fimpster at June 6, 2002 01:20 PM

WWDN is in reruns... RERUNS...

What the hell hope does anyone else have when TV's Wil Wheaton can't come up with some weepy story about his favorite snotrag from his childhood and has to resort to FRARKING RERUNS?!

Oh, Jeez, and a weepy one at that...

Dude, WTF?

Posted by: Potch at June 6, 2002 01:22 PM

::reads story, rips still beating heart out of chest::

Dammit, I need that organ.

Posted by: Ralphie at June 6, 2002 01:23 PM

Oh come on people, we all know the bestest part of the entire post was:
Funny aside: Ryan (12) and Nolan (10) were talking about how excited they were to get a grind rail, which they kept calling a "pole". Nolan says to Ryan, "We TOTALLY have to get some grinding wax, Ryan!" Ryan replies, "Yeah, so we can wax our pole!"

*guffaws*

Posted by: michael at June 6, 2002 01:33 PM

Very cool story, Wil.....It's amazing, six years ago, all I had was my dog, Indiana Jones, the coolest Beagle alive outside of Snoopy !! Now six years later, I have two darling daughters, one great step-daughter and I am married to my hero.
Incidentally, I got Indy from a police officer friend who rescued the dog from the freeway. My dog, also, had signs of being abused by a man. But he came around quickly. When I think of all the times I came home to find that he had gotten into my lipstick and found him sitting on my bed, looking angelic, with passion pink paws and lips....it makes me laugh.
Indy had to go away though.

Now we have a cat. Sierra. Cool cat. Lots of attitude.

( If my children do not stop fighting though, I may get rid of them....LOL )

Posted by: Vikki at June 6, 2002 01:41 PM

Hellahellahella

I read Save Ferris first, then the top bit. It made a lot more sense after the latter action.

Which reminds me, George Foreman has come out with an outside grill, a GIANT version of his lean mean fatreducing grilling machine.

The thing looks like a Soviet satellite circa 1960.

Does the Wheaton house have a/c? That stuff's really helpful, man.

...says the one who has none.

Posted by: KJB at June 6, 2002 01:49 PM

Michael - you are totally right. I don't know how I missed that before.

Like when a little girl hides by lifting her dress to cover her face. You can't attribute any innuendo to a child, and yet it's sick and wrong and oh-so-funny at the same time.

"There'll be no waxing of the poles in this house, young man!"

Posted by: Ralphie at June 6, 2002 01:56 PM

That is truly my most favorite entry.

Wil, write a book- PLLEAASEE?!!?

We got our cat, Boots, thanks to my uncle who rescued her from the woman she was living with who didn't even want a cat and was leaving her outside 24/7...when she first came to us she hid under my parents bed for a day. It took lots of coaxing and Tuna Treats to get her to mingle with us, but she's a part of the family now, and I don't know what I'd do without her.

Posted by: Jenna at June 6, 2002 02:03 PM

im hotter than her

Posted by: cutelilamy at June 6, 2002 02:09 PM

Hella GROOVY

Posted by: supercoolchick at June 6, 2002 02:10 PM

Hell of a better story than how I got my dog. Saw her as a puppy at my friend's house, thought she was cute, got her, was reading 'Heidi' at the time (come on, I was 8!), named her that and there we go.
Give your wife a hug from me and tell her 'thanks' for being so cool.

Posted by: Sally at June 6, 2002 02:21 PM

I met the lead singer of cake cuz I am from sacramento and they used to play free concerts in the park up there. Some of the original members went off and started another band called Death Ray. They are pretty good too. Check em out!

word I'm looking forward to the 3somes on trek cruise..

Posted by: hops at June 6, 2002 02:51 PM

WWDN reruns are just like reruns of any favorite program.

We love it the first time around, and, even though we know the story, we still enjoy it the second time.

Posted by: Cure Fan at June 6, 2002 03:03 PM

a beautiful story, wil...best wishes to you both (and ferris)...

Posted by: doc brown at June 6, 2002 03:19 PM

Hey Wil
From the bottem of my heart all I can say is Thankyou for a touching and tear jerkin story!
I mean it Wil, Y wont you write a god damn book!

Posted by: Hannah at June 6, 2002 03:39 PM

OH dear GOD Wil. If that blog's not a movie in the making, I dont know what is! I can imagine, you and your darling wife in the front row of the Oscars circa 2004 (we know how long these masterpieces take to complete) and I can see Steven Spielberg opening the envelope and saying "And the Oscar for best director/screenwriter/actor/producer goes to..................WIL WHEATON!!!"

Cue massive snog fest to the lovely Anne and well deserved acceptance speech.

Hell yeah!

Get writing Wil, theres definately a screenplay in you.

Posted by: Foxychik at June 6, 2002 03:47 PM

Jeez, What am I thinking??

*slaps head in a D'oh-like manner*

I forgot to put BEST FILM as well!!!

I will be severely punished for that particular faux-pas! (lol)

Posted by: Foxychik at June 6, 2002 03:52 PM

That is the worst damn story ever.

Posted by: J.R. "Bob" Dobbs at June 6, 2002 03:53 PM

I admit some pornos have better stories.. but you really can't compare wil to a porno.. now spud on the other hand.. his middle name is Pornboy.

Posted by: hops at June 6, 2002 04:22 PM

I really like that story Wil. I have read it before, but only because I went through some of the archives when I found your blog. I remember it well.

I want to point out that my user name is ALWAYS Haley Comet because I am really into astronomy and one of the coolest things I ever did with my Dad (non-biological dad by the way and that never got in our way) was watching the last pass of Halley's comet, and many other astronomical phenomenon, through his trusty old telescope.

My Dad was really into doing all kinds of out door stuff with us and I just told him about geocaching. He is really interested. As an environmentalist he has lots of great ideas for cache sites near us (Toronto).

I just felt weird reading that entery because of your comments about the name Haley. My real name is Jessica just so you know...

Oh well...Strange.

...As far as I know Halley's comet will not be back until I am 85 (60yrs from now).

Take care and keep doing all of these great things with your kids. They will never forget it. I am living proof of that.

Posted by: Haley Comet at June 6, 2002 04:53 PM

Wil ain't lyin, folks. His wife is the bomb.

She's Paulina Porzikova to his Ric Ocasek!

Though I love the unintentionally funny line "Anne is a sucker for hard-luck cases, especially animals", just makes me laugh.

Posted by: Robert Berry at June 6, 2002 04:55 PM

If you're interested, the TV show Farscape has all new episodes starting June 7 at 9 p.m. Best writing and character development on television.

~frowns, and realizes he's a Farscape whore~

Posted by: Jake at June 6, 2002 05:00 PM

When the muckety-mucks conceptualizing Next Generation came up with the idea of adding a geeky teen idol to the mix... well, in their nobler moments, I'm sure they babbled at least once about having "a role model for today's youth."

Wesley may or may not have been, and may or may not be (in reruns, of course, it *is* summer), but you definitely are.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your self with the world through this website. When you get a moment between your other projects, get motivated and write a book already!

Posted by: Elke Tanzer at June 6, 2002 05:13 PM

What a great story Wil. Thank you so much for sharing it with us...again. Most of the pets that my family has owned have been strays. I have 2 cats at the moment...one is a stray and the other one I got from the local animal shelter.
Both are great cats.

Posted by: underdog at June 6, 2002 05:48 PM

Elke Tanzer said:
>>I'm sure they babbled at least once about having "a role model for today's youth."

Did you watch the Wesley-Crusher-a-thon on Sunday?

That boy was mackin' on every girl he could get near. He had cheesier lines sometimes than Commander Space-ho, Will Riker.

Posted by: KJB at June 6, 2002 05:52 PM

What a sweet story... I'm a little farklempt over it!

Posted by: Jeannen at June 6, 2002 05:58 PM

You're right, Wil - reruns do suck hella bad.

Hella.

But nothing compares to a heartwarming story about a boy and his dog (AND his wife... AND their two boys... AND a couple of cats... AND a band... AND his groupies... AND a long board... AND a grind rail... AND a Canadian dog trainer... AND...

Maybe that's it... But I stand firm saying that nothing compares to it...

Well, maybe our boy Spudnuts...

Yeah, probably...

But nothing else...

"I looked at the dog, looked at her sweet, marble eyes and soft little puppy-fuzzy-head, and it was perfect."

*tear*

Yes it was, Wil... Yes it was...

Posted by: Steve at June 6, 2002 06:43 PM

Wil,
You are the kind of man (note "kind", not YOU specifically) that I want to meet and fall in love with (again). Actually, my first love was a lot like you so chances are I'll fall in love with someone with those qualities again.

I'm no Nikki Cox but I wish I had her breasts- but not her husband. Bobcat is frightening.
You could also be Billy Bob to her Angelina.

Summer reruns DO serve a purpose: During the season there are often two shows that I like airing at the same time. I chose one to watch (of course) and watch the other one when the first one is in reruns (this goes for mid-season as well as summer hiatus). I can't wait until the reruns of That 80s Show since until last night my Wednesday nights were booked for 10 weeks.

You and Anne are so lucky to have found each other. Fate is often an awesome thing.

Posted by: delphine at June 6, 2002 07:25 PM

Um, am I the only one concerned about Felix, the seeing-eye dog who was hit by a car? Is it just me, or is that ironic (and NOT in the Alanis-Morrisette way)

Posted by: rianpie at June 6, 2002 08:14 PM

Felix the dog was hurt pretty badly, but he made a nearly-full recovery, and he went back to live with his master.

But then Felix got cancer, and he got sicker and sicker really, really fast. Rita, who trained him, went all the way up to Canada and picked him up, so she could be with him when he died.

He died a few weeks ago, and when Anne and I heard about it, we both cried a little bit, even though we didn't know him.

Jesus, we're total pussies.

Posted by: wil at June 6, 2002 08:22 PM

Wil,

Awful lot o' cryin' going on here at WWDN lately... God forbid the Lakers lose!

Yikes! Break out the towels.

Seriously, rawk on!

Posted by: Potch at June 6, 2002 08:30 PM

Wil&Family may be total pussies, but we still love 'em.

That is, until Natalie Portman makes her own website in this site's image, and steals us all away.

Posted by: KJB at June 6, 2002 08:42 PM

That story about the kitten made me cry. Your wife must be amazing.

Posted by: stevie at June 6, 2002 09:02 PM

I remember reading this story the first time and it still touches my spirit. Wil, Anne is a hella hella hella woman and you are so lucky to have her as your soulmate. Sounds like you learn from each other, which is the way it is supposted to be.

I have one beef with you, however. I think you stole/borrowed a line from my sig file : "the attention span of a ferret." No worries,:) I don't have like a trademark on it, but I know I have sent you several e-mails and that line has been part of my sig file for a long time. If you ever use it in one of your routines, I expect the proper royalties, of course. heh.

Posted by: Ahud at June 6, 2002 09:37 PM

Actually, my friend Travis accused me of having the attention span of a Ferret at work the other day.

Posted by: wil at June 6, 2002 10:18 PM

You have the coolest wife Wil!

My family bring home all the stray animals we find too, 5 cats and counting (the most recent 2 were saved from a dog last December, one had a 3rd of his tail bitten off)

Now we're just waiting to get a new fence put up so we can go find a dog

Posted by: Sarah at June 6, 2002 10:34 PM

I missed that episode.

Glad I managed to catch it on late night TV.

Creates a deeper sense of an average life of an above average person. A sense of knowing you, without really knowing you.

Makes you seem more normal-life-slightly-geeky-family-man, less Star-of-the-Silver-Screen. (Pixelated screen, in this case).

Posted by: RevXaos at June 6, 2002 11:47 PM

Can we write our last year's comment again, too?

I guess my comment would be the same, I think I raved about how sweet the story is and stuff. Gives me mental cavities. ;)

Sorry about poison oak. If you lived in Germany, you'd just have to fuss with burning nettles, and they aren't half as bad. But you Americans always want it bigger and better.
So there you have it.

Posted by: Patty at June 7, 2002 12:00 AM

I hate geocaching with a passion. It gave me fucking systemic Poison Oak 3 days before I left for a weeklong trip to Maui! WTF?!?!

Oh, and i'm posting here because I said to myself, "Self? You shall post to all Blogs to which you link before you goto sleep tonight". And guess what? Self-matters. (Sorry Dr. Phil and Oprah)

Posted by: syndromes at June 7, 2002 01:41 AM

Cute, Wil, very cute

oh, they have lotion for poisen oak, ivy and if anyone has ever heard of "poisen sumac" it works great.. saves the arms or whatever from bleeding.

in my youth, I wasn't allergic to the poisen
sumac around where Iived. I could hide from family
and friends, they'd never find me..

I caught a glimps of this guy on AMC Classics
movie channel... thought it was you at first,
but to my surprise,it was the karate kid, guy
mr. macchio.. being intervied regarding
"My Cousin Vinnie" (he must be about your age
isin't he?)

you guys could be brothers...

how's the sinus infection? later...

Posted by: wade at June 7, 2002 01:43 AM

Dude, that is a WRONG picture.

Of course, I'm the idiot for clicking it.

Posted by: KJB at June 7, 2002 02:52 AM

Daw!
wow - i fell in love with a geek boy and he SAVED ME from New Zealand. He thinks I'm his Claudia Schiffer. Although the difference being I'm the actor and i dont know anything about computers. We were friends for a long time before i knew how he felt. Your wife sounds fabulous. I hope you have a fantastic future and I hope that mine with my amzingly compassionate man becomes as fulfilling. I'd marry him at if he asked.
By the way, how many geeks do you know that CAN spell. :)

Posted by: danceaddict at June 7, 2002 03:02 AM

When my next door neighbour moved to Vancouver, I saved his goldfish from the toilet bowl, the fish appreciated it very much. I was in about Grade 10 at the time, STTNG was in it's 2nd season or so, and being a huge fan, I named my new fish "Wil". He committed suicide a couple weeks later.
I liked summer re-runs, since my Mom wouldn't let me stay up to watch Simon and Simon or Fantasy Island during school.
Speaking of re-runs, tell that story about that old bag on Romper Room who never saw you with the magic mirror...I still get pissed when someone discusses that mirror...
And being an English-teacher myself...we don't know nothin'! I once read that all English teachers are failed, or scared, writers and poets...so there you go...

Posted by: tanyak at June 7, 2002 03:14 AM

Mention of pets and pussies and things up above reminds me of a 'simplified-for-kiddies-and-with the-rude-words-removed' version of Stephen King's 'The Body' that I saw: in the notes it defines 'pussy' as 'a cat'. I don't think that was the meaning he had in mind...

Posted by: NickW at June 7, 2002 03:52 AM

I want to hear from Anne again, she sounds like such an amazing person! I'm a single mom of a fantastically funny 6-year-old girl; thankfully I don't get any crap from the father - he hasn't been around since the words 'i'm pregnant' escaped my lips. I also have a totally cool geek guy for a boyfriend, and we really take inspiration from your writings on step-fathery.

Now stop reading my post, Wil, and go spend time with your rockin' wife!

amyt

BTW- I'm going to go look for a place on the BBS to post *my* animal rescue story.

Posted by: amyt at June 7, 2002 04:51 AM

Hey Wil, It wasn't new to me, but I liked it just the same again. It opened an old memory, wound really for me again.

I had a dog, runt of the litter, growing up. Cute brown mutt not more than twenty pounds wet. The year I was getting ready to leave for university the little guy got liver cancer (He was 13 years old and had already lived an active full life). Liver cancer is nasty, nasty and no cure. His side swelled up and he stopped eating. As the days went by he got worse and worse until all he could do was lie there. We had to move him out of the way to open the door even by that time. Finally (he was in a lot of pain I could tell from the goopy stuff in the corner of his eyes from crying) we had to take him to the dog pound and have him put down. Broke my bloody heart. I can still see the little guy at the pound, tear stained eyes just before he was put out of his continual pain. Your re-post brought it all back again. And any man that says he has never cried is lying, posturing, and full-o-shit.

I'm a hell of a bit older now and don't have any pets, but I am sure my daughter will convince my wife and I to get a dog or cat soon. But shit, I don't want to go re-run that episode in my life again, but it will be all new to my daughter and it is all part of life.

I'll shut the %#$@ up now.

Posted by: Nyarl at June 7, 2002 05:01 AM

Do you take requests for the reruns? Your first ever Killoggs post would take up a great deal of space, for instance, and might be new to lots of your readers :). Or (one of my favorites), when you took the boys to the beach, ruminated on the boundaries of being a Stepfather, and saw the prettiest woman on the beach :).

Posted by: Shell at June 7, 2002 05:19 AM

Hey! My family has owned and operated a small chain of pet stores for over 20 years and let me tell you this: We have never sold Dogs or Cats. We deal in food, supplies and the occasional ferret and cockateil. Since I was a child, my father told me that a pet store was no place for a puppy or kitten to grow up, so we always refer people looking for one to a breeder or shelter. Saving animals rocks, but supporting a petstore that treat pets like veal does not.

BTW - Wil, long time reader. This site rocks. My best friend and I's lives changed when we realized that tv's Wesley Crusher was so damn cool. We also have an inexplicable love for the TNG Episode "The Dauphin". Imagine having that hairy beast for a nanny! Ick!

Posted by: joe at June 7, 2002 06:22 AM

YES!!! Reruns from the first 2-3 months!!
VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE............
C'mon Wil the posse is a begging!!!!!!!!!
Pretty please!!!!!!!

Posted by: bluecat-redblanket at June 7, 2002 07:01 AM

Cool story Wil, and I was so proud of myself by getting all the obscure references.

Posted by: Gette at June 7, 2002 07:08 AM

My girlfriend I are very opposed to pet stores as well. Which is why we *liberated* a ferret from a mall pet store last year, and also named him Ferris. I'm a sucker for ferrets.

You're a cool guy Wil, you know... PET LIBERATION. ;-D

Great story, btw.

-Jessica

Posted by: Jessica at June 7, 2002 09:40 AM

You are trying to be lame, Wheaton, but I swear, you may try as long as you wish, but you will
you will NEVER NEVER NEVER be lamer than ME! Infact, I'm a complete arsehead.

Posted by: Thomas at June 7, 2002 10:18 AM

hey i thought of getting a ferret? i hear they smell like ass most of the time. Do you recommend one?

Posted by: hops at June 7, 2002 10:34 AM

(snip)
Actually, my friend Travis accused me of having the attention span of a Ferret at work the other day.
Posted by wil at June 6, 2002 10:18 PM (snip)

Ok. I'm going to name my next ferret Wil, how 'bout that? Oh, and I also saved a ferret one time from a MacDonald's parking lot. My roomie and I named him Homeless MacDonald. . .Homie for short. He was a red-eyed white.

Posted by: Ahud at June 7, 2002 10:58 AM

It's funny, but though I probably watched more television as a kid than I do now in my thirties, I have to admit that the reruns didn't bother me then nearly as much. The truth is, at the time I tended to live and breathe the fantasy worlds of my books, and only found fleeting entertainment in tv, and yet today, even though I only watch a few shows (three to be exact), somehow I'm getting from them the same thing I got as a kid from reading. God, how sad is that?

So now that I'm depressed, I'll end by saying that I love how much you love your wife. Thanks for the beautiful entry. And hey, it was new to ME.

dorrie6

Posted by: dorrie6 at June 7, 2002 11:26 AM

What a great story and it's definitely new to me. Your wife is such a wonderful, sweet, caring person. You're both lucky to have found each other. I just hope I find a man who loves and adores me as much as you do your wife.

Much love.

Posted by: Lskreet at June 7, 2002 11:28 AM

Wil,

I wish I was your mother. You wouldn't be going around Star Trek conventions if I was!!!

Posted by: Marco at June 7, 2002 11:44 AM

what Internal Audience said! Now I gotta go get my dogs from the kennel "spa" where they've been while we were on vacation!
I'll go back to my corner, now! Karen

Posted by: kazfeist at June 7, 2002 01:18 PM

it is perfectly okay to begin sentences with conjunctions...the best and brightest authors do it every day! mrs. lee is wrong...go here for proof:

http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/conjunctions.htm

peace out :D

Posted by: j-la at June 7, 2002 01:22 PM

Wil,

POST A PICTURE OF ANNE !!!!

Posted by: Craig at June 7, 2002 01:49 PM

Wil:
I just LOVE your dailies (column)! The Ferris story hit me bad since I have pets myself. A day without Wil is like a day without sunshine!!!

Scott

Posted by: Scott at June 7, 2002 05:31 PM

Great story....I have to admit I have gotten 2 cats from Petco from http://www.kittenrescue.org/
They weren't kittens but they are great. Pickles & Autumn I would not normally buy or even look at any animals at pet stores it kills me to see them in cages and unhappy(ie: pet store at the corner of Kling St. Burbank by Lakeside Apts. I wanted to break in rescue them then light a match on my way out)as they aren't treated very well. So I am with you on that soapbox. But this place Kitten Rescue seems on the up and up.

Posted by: Arrina at June 7, 2002 05:41 PM

Yep. Turnin an abused Dog around like that? Yeah, that's definately cool.

Posted by: Kman at June 7, 2002 06:17 PM

I hate re-runs...but yours was awesome! The name is perfect! LOL...your kids wanted to wax their pole...:-). Sorry...had to add that. So you guys really like Save Ferris? You guys are the coolest...ever!
.:.Kate.:.
p.s. I liked the crying like a bitch part!

Posted by: Kate at June 7, 2002 09:16 PM

that rocks.

Posted by: heidi at June 8, 2002 01:26 PM

I have 5 rescue dogs and 2 rescue cats (along with 5 other cats). I can't imagine a more noble cause. Speaking of rescuing dogs, I discovered something that is happening on the streets of Bucharest, Romania, that made my blood boil. Their mayor, Mr. Basescu, has ordered the killing of all stray dogs (many "owned" dogs are being killed as well just because they're not with a human at the time of being caught)by any means possible. Many dogs are being beaten, strangled, poisoned, burned, suffocated, etc. etc. on the streets, in front of children, in broad daylight. If you want to find out more and sign a petition and stuff, go to http://www.paw_europe.com or http://www.whitefang.platinumnet.ro to get more info. You can also e-mail that bastard Basescu at primar@pmb.ro and tell him what a poor excuse for a human being he is. If you go to the White Fang website, you can also get the e-mail addresses of Romania's President, and Prime Minister so that you can e-mail them and let them know what kind of white trash is running the fair city of Bucharest. Any support would be appreciated by all of the rescue groups in Romania who are racing against the clock to save as many dogs as they can from a disgusting, senseless death. And to think, they are doing this in front of children!!!

Posted by: Melodie Sproul at June 8, 2002 06:34 PM

Will:

Regarding the poison oak. BUMMER! Get some jojoba oil and keep it on hand. It works like a miracle. One minute you're itching & scratching & bleeding, apply the oil and the next minute is just one long "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" of relief.

- T, nci.

Posted by: Tera at June 8, 2002 08:48 PM

Hey wil, it was cool of you to rerun a story from 8/27, cuz that just happens to be my birthday and i thought that was a cool coinkidink, and somesuch, but anyway, this upcoming 8/27 will be my 15th birthday and my dad is gonna teach me how to drive
P.S. I just wanted to let you know i didn't hate wesley, and i'm sorry you lost that job, and that it made you cry. That really sucks, dude
Rachel

Posted by: rachel at June 9, 2002 09:56 PM

Another great story. Ferris is a cool name. Though the myth name wouldn't have been so bad. Not lame either. ;)

Posted by: Athena at June 10, 2002 05:21 AM

What do you have against pet shops? Just curious.
I got my 2 cats at a pet shop bc there really wasn't any other place on Guam to get them-- except the animal shelter (which we couldn't find). The vet said that the pet shop was a MUCH better place for the animals to go bc most of the ones sent to the animal shelter died. They were horribly mistreated. (the pet shop usually got kittens by way of someone leaving kittens at the door or finding them abaondoned) But the vet was amazed at how healthy our new kitties were after only a week in our house. We LOVE kitties and our new babies were hugged and cuddled and petted all the time. In fact, one of them is sleeping on my mom this very moment and the other is on my lap. :-)
I'm so glad I got them. They are very special kitties. I love them as if they were my own babies (and they are the closest to grandchildren my parents will ever get from me). So even if you don't like pet shops, think of the animals already there. They might need homes. :-)
I totally feel for Ann on the cat thing. My family had a Siamese cat for 15 years. They had her before they even had kids. So I think I was about 10 or 12 when someone's hunting dog came into our yard. I had seen a boy attacked by a dog and was afraid of them. The dog came at me. The cat stepped between us to protect me. She hissed at the dog. He grabbed her and killed her. It was probably the most traumatic experience of my entire life. I still cry thinking about it.
As for adopting strays, yeah. I've been there. We found an abandoned puppy on the side of the road who was deaf and half blind. We took her in and cared for her, but eventually had to find a new home for her because she kept killing our chickens.
I had a teacher like your 9th grade one. Total bitch. My acting teacher. I was always shy and when I finally finally got up the nerve, I was ready to do my final exam monologue. And just before I could go out, the teacher stopped me to tell me not to be disappointed because she knew I couldn't act and that I wasn't good enough to get in to the advanced class the next year. Gee, BIG fucking boost there eh? They really should smack teachers who ruin the confidence of their students like that. Some people are just so pathetic they have nothing better to do than to ruin things for others. Sad when teachers are in such a position of power.
Ok, I've babbled enough. Just wanted to share my thoughts.
luv,
-Su

Posted by: Su at June 10, 2002 08:01 AM

my wife, when she was around 17-18, had a family dog that got hit by a car. They took it to the vet, and there was nothing they could do but put it to sleep. so she held it while the doctor did it, and it died in her arms..im a 37 year old man, and i still tear up a bit when i think of that story,,,hell i didnt even know the damn dog..so when you say that she was fucked up for months after that, i can believe it,,,it also speaks volumes about the kind of person she is..you are a lucky guy

Posted by: Faethor at June 10, 2002 12:08 PM

Hey Su, I liked your post. I think that what Wil is talking about in reference to hating pet shops is the fact that dogs that are sold in pet shops generally come from puppy mills, and there's a lot of cruelty and suffering that goes on in those places. Not only that, the dogs that are sold as "pure bred" generally aren't, and they don't match up to breed standards, so you're getting ripped. On the other hand, I think that cats sold in pet shops for the most part are just litters of kittens that people couldn't find homes for, and they're usually well socialized and healthy. I could be wrong though. All of my research has been about dogs (although I have 7 cats myself :-) ). I did buy a dog from a pet store once, but she was named as a mixed breed and I bought her for $16.00. She was an awesome dog.

Posted by: Melodie Sproul at June 10, 2002 04:38 PM

To Wil: Wow. There are practically no words. I read the story of Ferris, and the weblog entry you made after you cried your heart out. I just wanna say that I love you and I know there are lots of other people who feel the same way. We don't love you just because of Gordy (Gordie?), or Wesley, but because of you. You are a real person with real feelings and you're not too macho to let it be known. Stay awesome and never give up your dreams!

Posted by: Robyn at June 12, 2002 09:40 AM

Anyone who loves Save Ferris is cool in my book. And I *loved* the story. :)

Posted by: Rebecca at June 13, 2002 04:39 PM

Great story, you whopping pouf... =)

You sound a lot like a couple of friends of mine
who just got hitched a few of weeks back. Their
house is a haven for adopted animals. Only it's the
guy that cries a lot. Tried to save a kitten he
found in a dumpster once, it didn't make it and
he was fucked up for months.

Oh, and Save Ferris..."Let Me In"...Best. Song. Ever.

Hella.

Posted by: surlyboi at June 14, 2002 08:49 AM

What's Crackin! - Just need to go Play Bingo - for my Online Bingo Habit! But I cannot Find a Good Bingo Online website to cover my bingo addiction!

Posted by: Bingo at October 25, 2004 01:18 PM