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January 13, 2004

Alison Berkley: Snowboard Pro

I think that Alison Berkley is teh rules:

It just occurred to me that I am a snowboard whore.

I am the lady in red (literally) who accepts cash at the end of the day from the ultrawealthy ski vacationers at Snowmass who think I'm a miracle worker because their brain-dead kid actually got excited about something besides video games for the first time since the day she turned 13.

They call us "snowboard pros" which makes it sound a lot more legit than it really is. Whatever. My parents are just happy I'm a professional at something, especially after all that money they blew on boarding school and the six years it took me to get through college.

No, I'm not bumming around some upper-crust resort. I'm not afraid of the so-called "real world" or facing the responsibility of becoming an "adult." I'm a snowboard pro, bitch. That's Alison Berkley, S.P.

It's rare that I read something and laugh all the way through, so for that, Alison Berkley, S.P., I salute you!

(huge thanks go out to Russ who brought this story to my attention)

UPDATE: A few readers e-mailed me that, after she wrote this article, Alison Bekley was fired from her job at Snowmass:

The "Princess" has dinged her crown -- and lost her job.

Cheeky Aspen Times columnist Alison Berkley apparently went too far last week when she detailed her perceived shortcomings as a local snowboard instructor, writing, among other things, in her weekly column -- entitled "The Princess's Palate" -- that she felt like "a snowboard whore" for dressing in red and accepting cold, hard cash from Snowmass Ski Area's "ultrawealthy."

Her bosses at Aspen Skiing Co., which is owned by the Crown family of Chicago, were none too pleased with the sassy columnist, earlier this week terminating her employment and the privileges that go along with it, including her ski pass and the on-mountain locker she mocked in the column.

It's just another example of Rich Fucking Assholes™, who have no sense of humor, screwing things up for the rest of us. Alison Berkley, Fomer Snowboard Pro and Martyr, I still salute you. You are still teh rules. Maybe spending less time with Rich Fucking Assholes™ and their Spoiled Brat Kids™ will give you time to focus on a writing career. You're obviously good at it.

Posted by wil at January 13, 2004 06:17 PM

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Wil is all up in my inside jokes today! He said "I salute you" and "cayenne." And he brought out the bronze god more than once. I won't even get into the TTT reference. As always, Wheat rocks my socks. [Read More]

Tracked on January 13, 2004 07:00 PM