My William, a dick? Never! ..Okay, so maybe not never.

Still, I would think she could have emailed you making sure it was cool first.

But with a response like she gave, it might be a little hard to get mad.

Yeah, that's an unfortunate thing... her not thinking of how that would translate. I think it was ignorant of her, but I think you handled it the right way. Certainly her intentions were good but her carry-through was bad.

I think most of us would get classed as dicks then... hey if someone I dont know expects to instantly be my friend, then they have another thing coming... friendship is earned... Doesnt matter if you are a celeb or a geek, or both... On-line / off-line... doesnt matter.

So I guess according to that article...we are all dicks.

"Well, I don't know you, so you're not my friend. No harm no foul."

That's the bottom line.

I guess this kind of confusion might come about because, if you read a person's blog over a period of time, it's quite easy to end up mistakenly feeling that you *do* know that person...if you see what I mean.

Anyway - it's cool that you sorted it out between the two of you.

I think she was being nice to you, dude. She wrote a funny column that kept you in the limelight, and I think the story comes through for what it is. It's not spiteful.

Now, her next article, "Wil Wheaton is a scum-sucking leech on America, and should be deported to Camarillo," that will be spiteful.

I have to say, that letter to her was extremely poised. I've heard enough celebs spout off to detractors to get a good laugh out of those, and then *really* think the celeb is a dick. That was just a very sincere, well-intended, well-written letter. Nice job. And she seems like a sincere person as well. Two intelligent, rational people on the net, woo hoo!

And you're right in the end...no such thing as bad publicity. Even Michael Jackson is still selling albums.

If Wil is a dick, we all must be dicks, but since Wil is not a dick any artical or person's claiming he is dick should be shot, or learn to do research and possably check out the facts beforehand. This way no feeling are hurt, and the possability of future jobs are still there.

Of course you realize that by linking to that story you're raising its Google ranking and making it more likely to rise to the top.

It's hard to not take things too seriously. I even sometimes find myself getting annoyed at someone who is taking me too seriously, then they point out that they were kidding too. I guess it is often ourselves that we take too seriously. I guess the key is to laugh at everything, especially yourself.

agh, I've already had to say "no" to one person who wanted to said I was his friend. I felt bad, but I didn't even know that person.

Wil, I think several people have already made the point that you handled this well. One thought about your mention of setting up a profile on Orkut so that someone else wouldn't do it pretending to be you: why not add something like a "member list" to your about page. You could just say something to the effect of 'here are the communities/sites/groups of which I am a member or regularly post' that way if someone goes to lame-popularity-contest.com and sets up a fake user name pretending to be you, you can at least point back to the list and say, "sorry, but it's not me." Certainly trying to sign up and register at all the popular sites where someone might sign up as an imposter Wil would be a full time job in itself.

Just my little suggestion (a.k.a. free advice, it's worth every penny.)

As a Dick, I would like to state on behalf of other Dicks that we vehemently object to the usage of our name in reference to a male human body part, or, even worse, to reference anything having to do with WWdN.

Wil, surely as a potential Willy (just add two letters) you must understand the pain of being a Dick, a Peter or a Willy.

I'm still suffering from the withdrawal of the Janet Jackson class-action boob lawsuit, and I am now further tormented by this nasty development.

My victimhood knows no bounds...

Just kidding!

Hey, Wil! Where's the sappy Valentine's Day material describing intimate details of your conjugal bliss? I hope you have some left in you still after that wild Family Guy DVD and eating crackers in bed weekend?

Also, hey, good job of standing up for your self.

Nothing better than a Dick standing up, right?

I'm surprised you took the article so seriously. After reading the first few paragraphs of the article it seemed obvious that it wasn't meant to be a personal attack. I mean, you called yourself a "dick" and she was just playing along.

But considering all the crap you've dealt with over the years with the whole 'Welsley Crusher' thing, I guess I understand why you reacted the way you did.

But I gotta tell you man, your email to the author could have backfired big time, you made yourself so vulnerable with the... "You really hurt my feelings" line.

Anyway, I'm glad everything worked on. But I feel kind of bummed out after trying to join that Orkut site only to discover I have to be invited into the community.

I really like Annalee. I've had the pleasure of hanging out with her after a Creative Commons party up in the city and she randomly mentioned my brother-in-law (pretty accurately to boot) in an article for SF Bay Guardian. http://www.sfbg.com/38/01/x_techsploitation.html

I don't wanna sound queer or nuthin', but I think that Unicorns are kickass.

~j

What's wrong with dicks? I like dicks. I like Wil.

I DO want to sound queer, but unicorns do nothing for me at all.

Seriously, she made a very gracious apology. I thought that was pretty cool.

Wil, I certainly don't think you're a dick, or a pussy either [long digression about how genitalia terms are disses, and why should they be? deleted here], but I have to admit I was a little surprised by your reaction. If there were 800 websites devoted to dissing you, that would mean that there are 800 people (probably 80% guys) who are mad because 8 MILLION people think you're the best thing since Russel Stover Low Carb Chocolates (my current fave).

People don't publicly dis what's otherwise widely ignored ("Sly-Mee brand Liver-Flavored Seaweed Crackers are the Tool Of The Devil!!!"), only what's widely popular.

You're a geek saint. The anti-geeks will dis you for real (unlike the author of this article, who clearly had no bad intent). GLORY IN IT.

well, your first name IS Richard, ain't it?

Well Wil, you may be a Dick but you're our Dick and we love and your blog and I'm stopping this now before any more homoeroticism creeps on.

How I laughed. First at her article and then, even more, at your initial reaction.

I can't believe YOU out of all people were hurt by that article (in fact I first thought you were kidding) *laughs*.
It's so sweet and funny and it is just so obvious that she's a huge fan of yours. How could you not have seen that right away *still giggling*?

Oh well, two for flinching *shrugs*.

You're still cool ;-)!

XXX

On second thought ... I have just re-read your letter to Annalee and your paragraph "I can't tell you how much your story is going to hurt my ability to get work during this pilot season ..." made me understand why the article p*** you off so much that you couldn't see past the headline at first.

Man, Hollywood sucks.

*depressed*

Does it make me a bad monkey if I giggled a little bit at the hidden pun in all of this... Wil.. err.. Richard.. err...??? HMIC? err.. Mr.Wheaton sir?

*giggles uncontrollably*

sorry..

That chick/dude sounds like a crybaby to me.

how in the world could you be expected to be everybody's friend...there's not enough time in the day...i have no idea how many bazillion e-mails you get asking you for something...but i bet it's alot...and if you tried to fulfill all these request s you'd be broke...and living in a trailer down by the river...you may be a dick all i know...all i know i know of you is what i've seen on television...movies and here at WWDN...but saying no to this womans request doesn't make you one.

Hey Will.

You probably know this, but, you don't have to use your webhost to handle your mail. Just set your MX to somewhere that will give you the power of procmail, and you'll be set.

You could even run your own MX off of whatever spiffy net connection you have there at Ches Wheaton.

You don't know me, but you MUST all be my best friend or you are dicks...you will all be dicks forthwith.

Oh, by the way, I'm a first time poster.

Have a fantastic day.

Yeah Wil, even though we all adore you, you do get 2 for flinching. You do have some valid reasons for feeling like she was "attacking you", the spirit of the article was lighthearted in nature. Having had to deal with numerous flames and other impunities, I remember the words of Andre Linoge from Storm of the Century, "Give me what I want and I'll go away." Either no response or a response to satiate the detractor's ego/dementia/whatevertheheck is usually enough placation.

However, I would love to have seen you give her a wedgie.

Oh yeah, you still get 5 stars and 6 unicorns just because you had to deal with leeches.

Ok, so I've never seen one of these networking thingies. However, given the reported behavior (you can be invited by someone else, which puts your e-mail into their database) is there any reason to believe that these sites aren't a giant front-end for a Spam bot? Huh?

"How do I know the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancies between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?"
THE RESTERAUNT AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE
Douglas Adams

It seems to me that no one can really understand the experience of national exposure for many years w/o living it. That said, I have no clue what the appropriate response for Wil would be, being a relatively unknown citizen and not subject to surreal pronouncements on a national scale. I'm usually called a dick by my immediate circle of people and, usually, it's meant in jest. If someone I didn't know called me one in a column read by gawd knows how many people, I'd probably feel a bit twisted by it too. So, nice handling, Wil.

Dude, small world. Annalee Newitz writes for the same newspaper I do (in a different branch, but still). I was surprised to see her name in your blog. Apparently the number of fangirls you have in the bay area is higher than I thought ;).

This is all about that leech scene from Stand By Me, isn't it?

Heh.

Even though it seems to have been a misunderstaning I think you handled it really well. And as for Wesley, TNG would not have been as good without him.

Way to go Wil! Good save Annalee!
Whenever I get caught in the downpour of sites like Orkut I can't help but think of Hotel California "You can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave!"
Fitting don't you say?

Dear Will;
How refreshing your response to the writer!
You sent a measured, simple, and honest response to her, you told her it made you feel hurt, and you kindly wished she would explain herself or stop.
Her reaction: courtesy and contrition.
You both walked away satisfied: no flaming, no drama.
I'd like to see a LOT more of that on the Web or other public media, but since it is so rare I raise my glass in salute!
(Our P's WERE right--courtesy IS the oil that keeps the gears of civilisation turning...or something).

Just as a data point, I never for a moment, reading the article, thought that it was really calling you a dick. It was immediately clear to me that she was using your joking self-description as a handle by which to describe the evil that is Orkut.

I say this not to wave and go, "Oooh, I'm SMAAAAAAAAAAAART!" but to put your mind a bit more at ease that the article doesn't, in fact, smear your reputation with the casual reader.

I don't get it. You expose yourself to the internet, and join something like orkut, and call yourself a dick, and are shocked someone took a light hearted rib at you.

The whole "it might hurt my chances at a pilot" thing shocked me. Not to be mean, but cry me a river, eh. Seriously dude. I am so not buying the Wil Wheaton Tshirt now...

I will still buy the Wil Wheaton T-shirt.

Wil,
I'm sure she had no idea how it came across until after you wrote to her! You did the right thing, and she was right to apologize. Two rights don't make a wrong, but they do turn you in the wrong direction if you're not careful! 180!!!!! Anyway, maybe she can write another article about your humor about online stuff! I'm sure it would get read! Glad everything worked out in the end!

We could offset the bad press by writing more articles, titled "Wil Wheaton is not a dick".

-OR-

"Wil Wheaton - in demand all over Hollywood"

Jenna Jameson declares love for Wil Wheaton
http://alohajenni.net/WilWheaton.html
With apologies to Anne! Jen
P.S. Love the enter "code" thing!

Heh, I wasn't even inflammatory and my post was changed to something I totally didn't say.

Now when I go try to get a job as an IT professional, search engines are going to show me yearning for a Wil T-Shirt. Your killing my career, man...

What a whiney toad! "Oh Oh, not EVERYONE wants to be my friend, even though I've only sent them a messege - ONCE." (more whining)

Talk about being over sensitive. Oh well, can't keep every loon in a cage these days... Toads Suck.

Drive on.

I thought it was a clever article and obviously a joke. Wilhatesme@techsploitation.com was great.

FWIW, that Simpsons scene is a Scientology dig, as is much of the episode. Odd, considering that one of the principal voice actors is a Scientologist.

Wow...you must have been in one helluva bad mood to miss the witticism (not to mention the love) in this article. From the looks of some of these comments, some of your readers still don't get the joke. Heh.

Third party readers read both people (PEOPLE!) come full circle to complete and resolve stories of hurt feelings.

I'm oft one to holler HEY! if something isn't right too. I'll say Hey now about
derogatory labelling by 3rd parties;
based on how someone said they felt.

Then again, deep breath to myself and be patient. This is an area where being older than 18 isn't required.

Like Paul said near the beginning of these posts "Anyway - it's cool that you sorted it out between the two of you."

Ha, he is a dick!

Thought I'd share a quote: "Asking programmers to make social software can be like asking deaf people to make violins"

Originally copied from mamamusings, via AccordionGuy.

I apologize if I'm wrong but it seems like you post these things so your fanbase will gang up on the transgressor.

Sometimes it seems to me that your ego gets in the way of an otherwise adequate talent for communication.

Anything to help sell your books though, huh?

Waaaaa waaaaa waaaaa

Who knew Wil was a dick? I always knew he was a pussy, but never would I have guessed he was a dick too. That's got to be a first.

Actually, I've got to admit that when I read the article, I thought it was funny. I thought she was trying to be funny and good natured about it and I hadn't read it as having any negativey or hatred pointed towards you at all! And I thought the whole "dick" thing was just as she said in her apology to you. That it was poking fun at what YOU had said about yourself.

Of course, it's really easy for ME to think it was all meant in fun since it wasn't about *me* :) I might not have been so unbiased about it had I been in your shoes reading an article about myself! But really, as an outsider reading it, I didn't think for a second that she had any malice towards you nor that she was trying to make you look bad at all in any way.

Why would you care what I think? ;) No reason. I guess just in case you thought the average person out there who read the article might thing you were a bad person, I'd have to say that probably the opposite is true. Of COURSE you may miss the initial humor in something when it's about you, especially since you do have so many... what's a good word... "anti-fans"? ;) But I really think most people reading it would be able to see that the writer was genuinely trying to be funny and sarcastic. I didn't think it made you look bad nor did it look (to me) like the writer disliked you or was trying to disparage you in any way.

Just my feedback/opinion (which nobody asked for! :) )

duder,

i can't imagine a casting person passing you over because of a tongue-in-cheek article about your orkut friend-list.

i'm not gonna lie, though: i think there's an implicit obligation involved with joining orkut or any of those friendster-style communities. you must be willing to play ball, in the spirit of the system. orkut was not designed for people who count their friends on one hand. this is why i am not an orkut member, and it is why i am not on friendster. and trust, you don't need procmail to screen spam. i have all my orkut/friendster/whateverster email go straight to my trash in my email client. i can't imagine that you order V1AGRA F0R CHE4P SKLFXJCZ! or REF1NANCE N0W 10015 WIL! just because you get lots of non-opt-outable emails about it.

i love your blog, and i sympathize with the situation of being a well-known actor/blogger -- i can imagine your email box is deluged regularly. but i think if you don't want to be FRIENDZ-4-EVR with wilfan2003@yahoo.com on some social networking site, you ought to consider why you want to join a social networking site at all.

join me, wil, in the elite few: the non-friendsters.

optimus

I love Wil Wheaton and I am a super big fan of his and I would love to meet him in person in Star Fleet uniform and give him a very big hug.

It's never too late to write a letter of comment, that's my motto.

Wil, I met Annalee in person for the first time this weekend at Baycon. I was interested in doing so because I love her writing and she interviewed me for an article she did about polyamory. Anyway, she mentioned her column about Orkut and you in passing --her tone in person was pretty much identical to the one in her letter you printed above-- and so I decided to go read the source materials (I managed to miss them both when the foofraw originally broke).

My one comment is that I hope someday you and she will be able to sit on a panel about Open Source, the evils of social networking schemes like Orkut, or some other damn thing as you are both charming, intelligent, and witty.