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experience the warmth | Main | 52 seaview

February 16, 2004

Comments from the wife, version 3.1

On Friday, February 13th, I went to visit Kris at home before she and her husband made the trip to City of Hope where she would begin her treatment. I brought her a few things to help pass the time during her stay and just wanted another chance to be with her before she started feeling awful again.

I was sad when I left because although her spirits were high, I could tell she was really nervous and scared about going in. I came home and did a few things around the house before picking the kids up from school. About an hour after I picked up the kids, Nolan wanted to go to a friend's house. His friend lives kind of far, but there was no way I was taking the freeway on a Friday, especially on a holiday weekend. So we were taking side streets when Kris called my cell phone.

"We've been sitting in terrible traffic and just got off the freeway to take sidestreets to the hospital." she said. "So I wanted to call you and thank you again for everything you guys are doing with the marathon and all the fundraising. I can't believe it's already over $2,000!"

I couldn't believe it either. "It's so awesome that there are so many people willing to help." I said. We made small talk. I think it was good for both of us. I asked her how she was doing; She's really scared and doesn't want go in.

"This is the best time to do this. You have great doctors that are going to help you get better." I tried to sound strong but I was scared too. We continued to talk as I pulled up to a red light at an intersection.

"Hey! You just passed me!" I announced. So Nolan and I followed her for a couple of miles until we had to turn, and she had to head into the hospital driveway. As we pulled up next to them, I hung up and blew her a kiss and told her to take care of herself and I'd see her on Monday. Tears filled my eyes as we drove off.

Earlier today Kris called my cell phone. "What are the donations at?" she sounded terrible, yet there was excitement in her voice.

"About $8,000!" I proudly informed her. She couldn't believe it. I asked her how she was doing. She said she did great all weekend with her chemo, but woke up this morning feeling really sick. They were going to give her something for the nausea which would also make her sleep but she really wanted to know how we were doing. I love that she has this to keep her going. I told her to get some sleep and I'd come by at the end of the day.

I printed out all the comments written about her and our marathon. I couldn't wait for her to see all the great things everyone said. I also brought flyers we made about the marathon because she wanted to give them to her visitors to help with the fundraising.

As I raced up to the hospital doors (only 10 minutes left in visiting hours) Kris's husband was standing outside talking with some friends. He walked me into her room. I was so surprised to see her sitting up, chatting with the nurses and looking great. The anti-nausea medication and the nap did wonders. She was feeling much better. I was so excited to tell her the donations are almost
$10,000! We chatted as they removed her empty chemo bag. Kris said it's been two hours on, four hours off, all day. One more before midnight. Then 7am tomorrow morning she begins the first radiation treatment. Three a day for the next three days. She told me how she was up crying all night because she was so upset that they taped padding to the rails of the bed.

"They say it's for the seizures that can happen once the radiation starts. I can't believe I'm going to have seizures" she said. But she said the nurse told her not everyone has them. I tried to comfort her by telling her she probably won't have them. After all, she's taking anti-seizure medicine. I don't think I convinced either one of us very well.

I hugged her and told her I'd see her tomorrow. Her husband walked me out. "Thank you so much for everything you and Wil are doing. It gives her something to look forward to. Something to hold on to. It's just so amazing that so many people are donating" I told him that we were so glad we could do this and we would donate platelets next week after her transplant.

"She'll be so happy to get that from you. It takes a few hours though," he explained.

I don't care. As long as I can help.

Posted by anne at February 16, 2004 10:01 PM
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Comments

Anne, I'm so proud of you!

My wife kicks all the asses. I just checked our page, and you guys have donated over 10,000 in four days!!

I think Anne's going to have her own blog pretty soon. :)

Posted by: wil at February 16, 2004 10:06 PM

My older sister had Leukemia. I donated in her honor. I hope Kris gets through this and I am sending all my good vibes to her. It is great that you are working with Team in Training and supporting such an awesome cause. Thanks for that.

Posted by: joanne at February 16, 2004 10:27 PM

Myself and all my friends are pulling for Kris while she goes through her treatment. Tell her it's OK to be scared, because she has a virtual army of supporters behind her.

Anne, what you and Wil are doing is second to none. You guys have huge hearts and aren't afraid to show them. Kudos to you for standing by your dear friend in her time of need. If only more of the human race were like you two, then the world would be a much better place.

See, Wil? Being a former child star has paid of in dividends never before thought possible. You're using it to make life better for someone. And that makes you a hero.

You both kick all the asses, and at the risk of being lame trying to sound l33t - U R t3h r0x0rZ!

Posted by: Eric at February 16, 2004 10:59 PM

Tried writing lots of good things.......but in the end it's well done Anne & Wil and the best of luck to Kris & Family.

Posted by: Griff at February 16, 2004 11:05 PM

i had acute lymphocytic leukemia when i was a teenager, and now i always feel some sort of strange kinship with other people that have cancer--especially leukemia. i just wanted to wish kris (and all of you) the best of luck. my prayers are with her.

incidentally, i've been growing my hair out to donate it to locks of love. it's about ready to be chopped off. if she wants or needs a wig, i can donate it for her.

Posted by: Kimberly at February 16, 2004 11:05 PM

You two are amazing. I am struck by your humanness (is that a word?). Print our your blog entry Anne, and give that to Kris...I'm sure it will make her day. In the meantime, many continued prayers for Kris.

Posted by: =^) at February 16, 2004 11:05 PM

You two are freakin amazing people. Never change.

All my thoughts and hopes for Kris.

Clay

Posted by: Clay at February 16, 2004 11:42 PM

Anne - great going, but unless you drive home the following link in EVERY post of yours or Wil's, you aren't going to see much impact.

So here is the link:

Anne & Wil's Team in Training Page (click me!)

For the record - you have now officially crossed $10,000.

Posted by: Atul Chitnis at February 16, 2004 11:57 PM

Anne, you are one awesome gal!!! I just love reading your entries. There is so much love in you and your husband, it makes my day and brings tears to my eyes. You guys are an inspiration.
About Kris, she is in my prayers and I hope she will get better soon and not lose her courage.
I pray that she won't have seizures. I can imagine her fear... and I send all my mojo and love to help her stay strong. And all my love to her family as well. :)

And yes, have your own blog!!! Or do invade Wil's on a regular basis! That would be wicked awesome!!!

Love,

Patty :)

Posted by: Patty at February 17, 2004 12:49 AM

I think this calls for a little of the patented Monkey Mojo. How about it, guys?

Plenty of Mojo coming to you from Australia, Kris. Be strong.

Posted by: Katie at February 17, 2004 12:56 AM

My prayers are with Kris and all those who love her.

Posted by: Shelby at February 17, 2004 01:26 AM

Wil,
I am DESPERATE to donante money for this! Desperate! How are you getting on with the paypal option for us overseas posse members? Please let us help as well. Please!

Posted by: Pete (UK) at February 17, 2004 01:27 AM

You're doing great guys! All the best for Kris.

Love and Mojo from Ireland.

Posted by: sooz at February 17, 2004 01:29 AM

Wil and Anne, you guys are something else!

What you are doing for Kris is amazingly kind and I wish you infinite amounts of love and happiness! Kris, I wish I had friends like these two! You hang in there gal and remember to keep a positive mental attitude because it will do wonders for you, Believe me, it works.

Sending all of you 'love and lights' from JHB, South Africa

Posted by: Mitch at February 17, 2004 01:47 AM

MASSIVE HEALING MONKEY MOJO to Kris!!!! :)

Posted by: Patty at February 17, 2004 02:02 AM

hey guys!

you guys really are the most awesome people ever, and i don't say that lightly! i think what you are doing is fantastic, and we are all glad to be of some help to you!

Kris, there is a lot of Mojo heading your way right now from the UK. i hope it helps! you are in our thoughts.

take care guys
rach

Posted by: rach at February 17, 2004 03:23 AM

Lots and lots of speedy recovery wishes and prayers, Kris! Hope you feel better reaaallllyyy soon! :):):):)

Posted by: Nadia at February 17, 2004 04:30 AM

Hang in there, Kris.
With a prayer for everyone in this situation.

Posted by: Eva at February 17, 2004 04:50 AM

im happy this is going well for you, and that your friend is doing well. best of luck!

Posted by: julie reppert at February 17, 2004 04:59 AM

I donated 20 bucks back when it was around $1000. I have been checking in and really getting a kick out of watching the numbers rise and just feeling really good about being a part of this great community. I really wish I could donate more, but getting a divorce and starting a new life costs money and I don't have much.

But mojo, I got, and I am sending all I can scrape together. I know Kris will make it through this because she is a strong woman and she has great friends and family behind her supporting her every step of the way. She also has thousands of monkeys sending all the mojo they can muster and that will really make a difference, I have no doubt.

Everyone knows we love Wil, but Anne, you are a wonderful amazing woman and every life you touch is brighter because of it.

Bright Blessings to Wil and Anne and to Kris and her family

Posted by: AngelGypsy at February 17, 2004 05:20 AM

Anne,
My thoughts and prayers go out to Kris and all of her friends and family. It is so nice to hear that she is getting the support and love she needs right now.
Today would have been my Uncle John Ander's 45th birthday. He died 5 months ago after a tough battle with Lymphoma. My mom and I were his primary caretakers throughout his fight. He never lost hope and was always ready to tackle the next challenge. He showed me what grace, dignity, and faith were all about.

Don't forget to take care of YOURSELF as well! Although you aren't the one who is ill, caring for someone that ill can quickly drain you...and you don't even realize it in the moment. All you see is your loved one who needs you. So don't forget: sleep, eat, and relax (as much as you can in the situation). Don't be afraid to cry sometimes and laugh tons. It is a scary thing! I am sure Will will be very supportive. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my fiance.

Will & Anne, you guys are absolutely awesome! Hang in there!

Kris, you CAN beat this! You've got the kind of attitude that can make it happen! Hang in there! Remember, the bad days will soon be replaced by the good! We're all praying for a speedy recovery!

Posted by: Dawn at February 17, 2004 05:22 AM

What a lovely blog Anne, you brought tears to my
eyes. I wish your dear friend Kris all the best.
Now Wil how about the Paypal set up, please and
thank you. I want to donate some lovely money to
the cause.

Posted by: Colleen S at February 17, 2004 05:42 AM

Anne (and Wil), thank you for calling attention to the need for more research and more financial support. My mother has been lucky... her chronic lymphocytic leukemia has stayed in the background and has had very little impact on how she lives her life. We're all hoping it stays that way, but efforts like yours will help make sure, for everyone.

Posted by: Mark H. Anbinder at February 17, 2004 05:46 AM

My prayers are with you and Kris. Oh, by the way, if she does have seizures, it probably won't be as bad as she fears. I had some as a kid, and they were totally pain free. You're unconscious when you have a seizure, so there's no pain, or even any sense of time passing.

Posted by: Random Guy at February 17, 2004 06:07 AM

Anne,

My mom was diagnosed with AML at the beginning of last Summer. I saw her about halfway through her initial treatment--she lives in FL, me in MD. I empathize completely with the overwhelming impact seeing your friend so vulneralbe can have. It gets better, trust me; you are doing wonderful, providing something positive for Kris to focus on.

You, Wil and Kris have our blessings and best wishes as well as our full empathy. Not only have I donated, but my mom, who had to go back in to manage an infection after her most recent treatment, also surfed over to make a donation, since the Internet is one of the things she has found to make her regular hospital stays a little easier.

Posted by: Tom at February 17, 2004 06:10 AM

Anne and Wil,

My mother was diagnosed with acute malignant breast cancer almost one year ago today.

I took a leave of absence from college and went home to be with her. It was awful. Radiation burned her all over her body and chemotherapy drained her body and spirit. She was nauseous and tired all the time, she lost her hair, she had to take a long vacation from work and we thought she was sure to lose her job. And here it is, one year later. I'm back at college and my mother is in remission and back at work.

It's horribly scary to confront a disease like breast cancer. But the good news is -- people survive this thing every single day. The best advice I can give Kris is to keep a strong support network of positive friends and people who show their love -- and clearly, she's about 10,000 steps ahead of me. You guys are in our thoughts.

Much love,
Lynn
Pittsburgh, PA

Posted by: Lynn at February 17, 2004 06:16 AM

Hey Wil and Anne,

Keep up the good work guys! Tell your friend I'm sending some healing mojo to her. And remember, don't focus on the fear. There's nothing to be afraid of, it will all work out for the best, you'll see. Take care y'all!

---Ashley

Posted by: Ashley at February 17, 2004 06:46 AM

Anne,

If the following is true:

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
-Anais Nin (1903 - 1977), The Diary of Anais Nin, volume 3, 1939-1944

then Kris will live forever.

If THIS is true:

"Live as brave (women); and if fortune is adverse, front its blows with brave hearts."
-Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)

then you and Wil should be proud.

And for Kris:

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared."
-Eddie Rickenbacker (1890 - 1973)

your strength amazes us all.


My best to you all. I've given all I can financially, but I'll try to check in with encouragement from time to time.

-AT

Posted by: AT at February 17, 2004 06:48 AM

You are beautiful souls. I am thinking good thoughts for Kris and her family, which of course includes you.

Posted by: Heather N at February 17, 2004 06:54 AM

Anne & Wil,
How lucky your friends are to have pillars like you to lean against in such dark times. You are awesome - and not in the cheesy seventh-grade way - in the actual way. Your kindness and generosity is awe inspiring.

"All you need is love"

Posted by: Abby at February 17, 2004 06:56 AM

you guys are the best:)

there really aren't any words for it

a poem for Kris:
Silvery, silvery over the trees
The moon drifts by on a runaway breeze
Dozily, Dozily deep in her bed
A little girl dreams with the moon in her head
-Dennis Lee

it always made me smile, i hope it will make you smile too.
you are so brave. never forget to dream.

you are in my thoughts xxlaurenxx

Posted by: lauren at February 17, 2004 07:15 AM

I'm a breast cancer and leukemoid bone-marrow disorder survivor who is now a Team in Training coach. It's a wonderful organization -- I wouldn't devote so much of my life to something that wasn't doing such a great job helping the lives of others.

As I've seen in the past 16 years since my first bout with cancer, there is so much hope for patients because of advances in research -- hope for survival rates and hope for decreases in side effects from treatment.

Thank you for the efforts you're making to support those advances. And all good wishes to Kris from the North Carolina folks in Team in Training!

Posted by: Kim at February 17, 2004 08:27 AM

If anyone has time, please check out www.keythlawrence.com and listen to the first single, "Leaving".
Keyth is a great new artist and we really need feedback from intelligent life!
I appreciate your thoughts, thanks


The Red Light Here Means Go

Posted by: Keyth Lawrence at February 17, 2004 08:37 AM

Just another request for that PayPal link to go up ASAP. There are a great number of us who really want to donate through it.

Posted by: Mana Gement at February 17, 2004 08:41 AM

Happy thoughts, many prayers, and some rad mojo, heading Kris' way from the Mitten! In fact, Anne, since I read your first entry, not a day's gone by where I haven't thought about and wished Kris well. And I'll be doing that right up until the day you can tell us she's in remission.

Posted by: Missy at February 17, 2004 09:02 AM

hey wil and anne! I'm praying for Kris and good luck with the walk. I will try to donate whatever I can to support you guys.

Posted by: Sarah at February 17, 2004 09:07 AM

Anne, you sound like a wonderful soul! People really need that care and compassion. Your love for her, extends out, even to me...a complete stranger. And I thank you for it.

Kris, we're all rooting for you and praying for you! Can't wait to see pics of you at the finish line!

Posted by: reallylikesj at February 17, 2004 09:12 AM

Anne, It brings tears to my eyes that Kris is going through all of this. I remember when I was in high school, a friend of mine went through it. I only wish I could have been as big a help as you are being to Kris.

I've made a donation and plan to make a couple more in the coming weeks. And I recommend everyone else I know make one as well.

Good mojo to you, will, kris and her husband!
Tim

Posted by: Tim at February 17, 2004 09:16 AM

Way to go Anne and Wil,

You guys rock. I just completed my second marathon through Team in training last month. It was the most enjoyable, moving, rewarding and physically grueling thing I have ever done. And I wouldn't change it for the world. I ran with a friend who works in a leukemia ward and from what I learned about what the poor patients have to endure, a few hours of muscle pain is nothing compared to the strength and courage the leukemia and lymphoma patients have to summon up every day.

GO TEAM!!!

and remember.

You can do 26.2!!!

Posted by: Fiona at February 17, 2004 09:37 AM

If you want donate but you don't live in the USA I have received the following instructions about how to do it:

----------
You can enter 99999 in the zip code field, select any state and enter your
actual address in the two address fields.

Marty Siederer
Director, Internet Fundraising
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
1311 Mamaroneck Avenue
White Plains, NY 10605
----------

Posted by: Marc at February 17, 2004 09:46 AM

Reading about Kris makes my own little difficulty seem so trivial.

In March, KGO Radio (810AM) does a Leukemia Cure-A-Thon; for 24 hours there's no political talk, just fundraising and entertainment. You might want to take a listen on the Internet; I'll post when it's going to be on.

I know it's reiterating what's been said before, but I've got to say it: you two totally rock. I'm glad you found each other.


Posted by: Roberta at February 17, 2004 10:13 AM

Seizures? It just gets worse. I wish so much that there was some other form of treatment. Something that didn't cause so much pain and fear. I'm getting braces and they have to do two different surgeries on my jaw because it's too long, yada yada, and they have to rubberband my mouth shut for 2 weeks. I'm terriffied about that. I can't even imagine having to go through all the stuff she has to go through.

I'm praying for her and her family. My heart is really heavy when I read these blogs and I almost cry, I'm so scared for her.

Hugs and kisses!

Veronica

Posted by: Veronica at February 17, 2004 12:27 PM

It's great - and needful! - to know there are such friends as these in the world.

Strength of heart, soul and body to you all!

Tom

Posted by: Tom Barclay at February 17, 2004 12:30 PM

And to confirm for the non US citizens, the above advice does seem to work -- just donated $10 from Sydney, which is now in Florida, apparently...

Oh, and for any Australian lurkers out there, you may also want to consider sponsoring someone for the world's greatest shave -- http://www.worldsgreatestshave.com/wgs/pages/default.asp

Heck -- I'm doing it, and I don't actually have any hair to shave off or colour! So there's no excuses!

Posted by: Alex Kidman at February 17, 2004 06:48 PM

Anne and Wil,
I'm a newcomer to this blog, but when I have a functional checking account again, I will be more than delighted to donate to the cause. Two of my grandparents died of cancer--my grandmother because treatments weren't advanced enough at the time, and my grandfather because he went untreated too long--and a young man who graduated from my high school a year after I did is in an advanced stage of his disease and in desperate need of a bone marrow transplant. One of my mother's co-workers died of cancer just last night. This research is so vital and these posts are such an incredible testament to hope and love.

My love and support to both of you and to Kris. I wish the best of luck to her in her battle, and to you in your fundraising.
~Suzanne

Posted by: Suzanne at February 17, 2004 07:12 PM

first off, thank you anne, for sharing this incredibly painful part of your life.

it makes me wonder, tho, if i'd fight w/ chemo.

if my friends are just gonna be said that i'm dying, can't i do it w/o all the pills and hospital visits?

i think so.

/still no cure for death. and i like it that way.

Posted by: kteela at February 17, 2004 09:53 PM

er, i mean.

i have not been offered that choice yet.

nonetheless, i believe i've already made my decision.

i guess i won't really know till it happens. or not.

oh, and typo - said=sad

sigh.

Posted by: kteela at February 17, 2004 09:56 PM

Wil,

I would like to wish the best of luck to your friend Anne. May she recover and have a long life.

Posted by: tim at February 17, 2004 10:10 PM

*hug*

Reading that overwhelmed me with emotion. You're an amazing woman, Anne. My heart goes out to Kris and everyone who cares about her. I'm praying for her recovery.

Anne, you need your own blog. I always enjoy reading your entries. My ability to visualize combined with how you recount things makes me feel like I'm floating in your world for a few moments.

You're almost halfway to your fundraising goal! I'll donate my Canadian dollars- such as they are- to the cause.

Good luck,
Andrea

Posted by: Delphine at February 18, 2004 06:13 AM

I made a donation the other day. I almost didn't do it-I kept thinking that $25 wasn't enough to really make a difference. Then, I started thinking that there would be no money at all if people worried about whether or not they could give enough. Now, I'm really glad I gave what I could because I just checked the total and it's already passed $11,000!!! Best wishes and lots of healing monkey mojo to Kris! She's already got great friends, I'm sure that helps in ways that you can't even begin to imagine.

Posted by: shauna at February 18, 2004 07:16 AM

I just wanted to say, I think it's great what you guys are doing. Reading this entry brought tears to my eyes. I wish there was something I could do to help, but my family has too many financial problems right now. I wish Kris the best of luck though. My thoughts are with her and her family.

Posted by: Amber Rogers at February 18, 2004 07:57 AM

Just popped in a donation from Toronto, Canada, Federated States of Micronesia.

At first I felt that my little donation just seemed like a drop in the bucket and was a rather sad gesture. Then I thought about how many people were adding their little drop, (to get over $11,000 already) and I got a sappy warm fuzzy feeling that's still going.

Great White North Mojo heading south to Kris and her family.

Posted by: Jonny V at February 18, 2004 11:50 AM

Wil, words cannot express how proud I am of you and Anne for participating in the marathon...you see, I lost my mother to breast cancer in July of 2003, and seeing how everyone has donated to help with research and funding for finding a cure is overwhelming..my thoughts and prayers are with Kris and her family during this time of need and I hope God continues to bless you and Anne and the kids. Thankyou again and keep up the great work both writing, and acting!

Posted by: Havok at February 18, 2004 09:55 PM

Best of luck to you. I only went through the chemo and radiation 3.5 years ago when I had Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, but it does get better. The support network you appear to have should pull you through it fine. After the last few years I've begun to realize the biggest change cancer wrought on my life was the desire to live the remaining time out just a little bit more intensly.

Sorry I couldn't contribute more.

Posted by: Ed Gibbs at February 22, 2004 12:23 AM
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