awesome story man. i wish i could find a game like this in my hometown. washington dc. anybody know of one? email me, since it's probably illegal.

7-4! It boggles the mind... It just means this lawyer guy pays you off when he misses his inside straight later...right? Are you factoring in position when you are selecting hands? ie, I think you could be going in with stuff slightly less than premium if you're on the button. It's great to read about your experiences as a budding poker player!

I know nothing of this "poker" game you speak of. But Sean Astin gave you a watch? You lucky bastard.

Don't worry Wil, actors are always intimidated by lawyers. We are polar opposites of lawyers, so it's natural to be rubbed the wrong way by them. I noticed you are playing very conservatively, I think I would notice you only jump in when you think you have strong cards. You know, me and Sean played a few games up at Dan's. It was an awesomely fun game, for much lower stakes than what you were playing at the "Odessa". I played O.K., but usually got taken by Dan's father, also named Dan.(that last bit was for anyone who was NOT in the cast of "Toy Soldiers") I do remember leaving a game once to hit up the A.T.M., but Astin still retains the nickname, "Versateller". Ya know, now that I think of it, there are a few writers/producers out there holding onto a marker or two of mine. I hope when I hit it big again that they don't turn them all in at once. Actually I hope they don't ever turn them in, but that wouldn't be any fun now, would it?

Now, I am not a good poker player or anything, but a 7-4! Although a novice, I wouldn't have played that! (But then again I am never as lucky as Mr. Lawyer.)

Take his money, Will! Take it for all of us who are your loyal readers!

See, now, these are the reasons why I don't play poker. Not that I would have any money to play anyway.

I hope this story gets better for you. I mean, you start winning some money, right? I mean, you don't lose really big and have to pay off the mafia, right? (or is that just some silly movie I finished watching.)

Anyway, I hope it ends well.

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"

"Three dollars an ounce."

"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"

"Four dollars an ounce."

"How much for lawyer brain?"

"$1,000 an ounce."

"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

Am I the only one who is playing the voice of the South Park Saddam Hussein in my head for Mr. Lawyer?

MORE! I want more!
I want to see you take that smart ass lawyer down so bad right now I can taste it!
What the hell was he doing playing that hand?

Ah, the writer AND the entertainer's code: Always leave them wanting more.

Durn you, Uncle Willie. Get to the good part where you took the lawyer for a ride on the Bankrupt Express!

MORE, MORE! Don't make us wait forever for part III, dammit!

You can feel the power now can't you WILhelm? You've got everyone begging for more but no...you stop and think 'perhaps I'll just thread it out a little bit more, I'll mess with their minds and tortue their souls', but to be fair you're description of the lawyer guy is pretty accurate-they are, basically, all doodoo heads

Have you read "Positively Fifth Street," by Jim McManus? He's a writer who lives in Chicago (teaches at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago), and he parlays a 4K Harper's advance (for an article about a Vegas murder and about the World Series of Poker) into a buy-in at a satellite tournament and manages to win a spot in the World Series. Makes it to the final table, too. It's a pretty fascinating book.

Anyway. I'm digging this story. You've got an excellent sense for where to stop to leave your readers jonesing for more.

Rachel: I am. That's one of my favorite poker books of all time. I rank it right next to "Big DeAl." The battle between Good Jim and Bad Jim is outstanding.

I missed McManus by one day when he came to Vroman's in Pasadena, goddammit.

My husband has been dabbling in texas hold-em gambling as of late--mostly online and avidly watching on Bravo. Sorry to hear the lawyer was getting under your skin. There's nothing worse than a smooth player who also turns out to be a real pain in the ass. Looking forward to hearing the remainder of the story. Your ability to weave words together into images and sounds and smells is outstanding. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Poker is a cruel game.

Everyone expecting the lawyer to get his comeuppance later in this story is PROBABLY going to be disappointed. No matter how much skill is involved in poker, it is also still a game of chance. Chances are now heavily in Mr. Lawyer's favor, since he has the chips to bully out middling hands. Mr. Lawyer can now afford to face Wil going all-in and lose since it now risks less than a third of Mr. Lawer's chips, while Wil would be risking everything.

Of course I want Wil to win the tournament, but it isn't looking very promising right now. Be prepared for the possibility that this story is a tragedy. Bad cards happen to good people.

Wil, you had me on the edge of my seat practically knawing my hands off! Get that blood-suckin-lawyer!!

Woo hoo! High-stakes poker! Love it I do, yes, mmmmmm. But enough of the Yoda speak. This one's a very interesting story, and I can't wait to see how it pans out. Hopefully you had a chance to put Mr. Lawyer in his place. There's a reason why Lawyers come between Pond Scum and Fungi on the evolutionary scale... Oh, I forgot. First it's Rick Berman, then Pond Scum, then Lawyers, and then Fungi... My bad...

Haha that was an excellent story, I felt like I was right there with you!

This is my first time reading you, even though my friends over on LJ think you're swell, and I wanted to say I think you have excellent story telling timing. The pace is very well proportioned and even. And its a nifty story. That's all.

First of all, this made me laugh hard as hell:

I shrug my shoulders. I am beginning to hate Mr. Lawyer. First of all, he's a lawyer. Second of all...

Lawyers are scum.

As for the poker, I think you played it fine. That's the thing when you are playing with people you don't know, you have no idea on how they play and have no reference on reading what they might have. For him to call you on a draw with 4 outs like that is stupid, and it will break him in the long run if he chases shit like that. Going all in after the flop may have made him back off, but what if he had two pair or pocket 5s? Then you would have lost your whole stack. You just have to know that mathematically what he did was not a good play, but he got lucky. I think you made a good play, but hey, I'm no Johnny Chan.

You were caught playing the cards and not the player, but you know that now. =)

Mr. Lawyer seems like the type of player to play a lot of hands and to chase pretty much anything. Keep playing tight and wait for your turn to take his money.

The only way to beat a bad player is with the best hand.

I can't wait for the rest of the story!

PS: what was the river?

I would have played the lawyers hand the same way, waiting out the river while holding the small strait. But I take stupid risks and rarely leave the table while up. Come on Wil, your an actor, use those acting skills. (Of course, the game is already over, but I'm still rooting for you.

Seeing that someone on my LJ friends list has a *watch* as a *present* from Sean Astin gets me way too excited. Even if it's just a syndication feed from a celebrity who I don't actually know.

You're awesome Wil but I am mad about Sean. :-)

Wil - No offense, but are you telling us the whole story? To begin with, what happened to the Turn? You're only telling us about 4 cards on the board. Assuming it was a blank, you should have bet again on the Turn to force him to pay again on his draw . And why in the world would Lawyer guy check 4-7 on the river in that situation? He had the freakin nuts! He'd have either put you all-in if he thought you'd call it, or made a ~$100 bet if he thought it'd induce you into an all-in checkraise. But he'd never check to show you the nuts.

Oops, I mean 'G-nawing'! How embaressing! x

I am guessing that the lawyer checked on the river because there was a possible flush on the table... all I can figure.

I think you played the hand 100% perfectly, Wil.

Four times out of five, that pot is yours.

do you have a problem with all annoyingly generic nicknames forced upon you, or just "guy"? (i'm honestly interested, because i tend to default to calling everyone "dude".)

am I the only one wondering where in the hell Shane is?? Poor Wil, dealing with that damn lawyer :o(

Hey Wil, I think you dropped something.

Like maybe Sean Astin's name. ;)

This enthused-amateur poker player thinks you did the right thing on that play, Wil. Bad luck that you were up against an asshat loose cannon (really, raising on the blind with a 7-4? Was it at least suited?), and as you say, top pair with an ace kicker is nothing to sneeze at. Without knowing what the turn was, I think it sounds like you played fine. The fact that he rivered you on pure luck just means he got a break he didn't deserve.

I'm hoping part 3 finds you getting some more insight on your opponent's styles, loosening up your play a little and putting those actor skillz to work with with a little bluff action... Hard to play against a loose cannon like the lawyer, though, especially if it's paying off for him and giving him more ammo. Hear's hoping you gave him the smackdown at least once.

For me, reading this story is like watching ER. I have absolutely no idea what you are saying in terms of the poker speak just like I am clueless in medical speak. So, hurry up and finish this story! I can't wait! Great job Wil - really love the writing.

-Christie from Oregon

"Hey Wil, I think you dropped something."

Thats comedy gold, right there. But I'm just laughing near you, Wil, not at you.

Lou: The Turn was a blank. I should have said:"The river is a 6. I look at the board: 5-8-J-6-x. I wonder to myself if he's playing 7-4."

The best poker advice I ever picked up is: You only ever play one game of poker in your life. Sure, you play it at different places, at different times, and with different people, but it's all only one game.
Keeping that in mind makes statistical "anomalies"* like losing to a guy who only has 4 outs a lot more palatable. It's all good because you know that in the one poker game you're playing your whole life, you're going to make money if you keep playing the way you do against opponents who play the way he did.
-V
* - They aren't anomalies - they're certainties if you play enough hands of poker.

Wil,

This is some of the best writing I've seen out of you in the six odd months I've been reading this site. Reminds me a lot of Tim Cahill (Road Fever) or very very early Hunter S. Thompson (Hell's Angels). Although I enjoy your geekdom immensely, stuff like this has a much wider audience. I'm sure hoping Just a Geek doesn't live up to it's title too much because you've got a much wider audience out there.

Thanks for the daily signs of intelligent life.

great story, guy!

I had an annoying teacher in high school who used 'guy' all the time...

I tend to stay away from poker; I'm too easily separated from my money as it is.

More. Soon. Please.

Which number were you? ha Good job, I love losing at poker, because I'm a better player the next hand, except for the fact that I'm still playing theh hand that I should have won the last time! (Which is probably why I suck at it.)

You played the hand right, Will. Let that guy play that 7-4 against you all night long. You'll take his money more often than not.

i feel like i'm sitting right there watching all of this unfold! you are a great writer!!! kudos to you.

Was his 4-7 suited? If so, it might be something I'd be tempted to play, depending on my stack. But if it was a 47o, no frelling way.

The one thing I dislike most about poker is the maniacs, especially when they win hands with terrible cards and act like they're the best player in the room. They do go down eventually, but it's hard to have the patience to see that happen.

Has it occurred to anyone else that this game, which is already "unofficial" going in, might not have been as "straight" as one would like? The players all knew each other, except Wil. What if there was a little collusion going on? A little seconds-dealing, or other shenanigans, to take advantage of the new guy? I mean, the way Mr. Lawyer played that hand isn't exactly by the book, for a knowledegable poker player. Just an idea; I can't wait to hear the rest of the story.

Interesting theory, Dave . . . but I can assure you that the game was on the up and up.

Now you know how I feel when you call me 'man'. :P

hey wil,
your writing is still kicking ass all over the place. its great!!

and just as a side note, Toy Soldiers is one of my favourite movies, and to think that Keith Coogan left a comment here too, is just sooo cool! that movie totally ROCKS!!!

can't wait to hear the rest of the story!
rach

Wil,

You may have learned a little more about poker if
you had played more often with your mother (Doctor
Crusher) Commander Riker, Worf and the rest of the gang. The very last scene of the last episode of Star Trek TNG they were all playing poker, including Captain Picard.

Your friend, Freeman

P.S. Your photo on eBay sold for over $100--out of my budget range. Sorry.

... now, this sort of crap is why I don't play poker often.

Being a physics/math major kinda takes the supposed 'fun' element out of games of chance for me....

If I was better at mentally counting cards, I might get into blackjack or something, but my math mojo is primarily in the area of signal processing, not statistics.

I know jack about poker, and I'm still finding this story to be incredibly interesting. Your writing inspires me.

Wil, you have to play the people not the cards. If you felt that clown was trying to steal blinds... then you play right back at him and go all-in. And if he calls you... that's what you want. AJ vs 7-4 anyday of the week. Better luck next time.

Great stuff Wil! We need to get you in the next Poker Bloggers Invitational online tournament. Of course, you might want to pass, because with your celebrity, there might be an additional bounty on you.

During the last Poker Bloggers Invitational, my pocket aces got cracked by 7-2 offsuit. Sad, but true.

There is always celebrity poker on Bravo.
I couldn't believe it when Nicole Sullivan took the final pot.

Wil, all I can say is, you ought to head over to Rivered Again and submit that as a bad beat story. I bet they'd love it. Most of the stories they get are from online poker sessions...your real-life experience would put you up on them. (Incidentally, have you ever tried any of the online poker sites? I know, their software is Windows-based, but maybe you could dual-boot?)

I'm a tad offended that the men are all described by what they do, while the women are described by their appearance. Why couldn't it be Ms. Editor or Ms. Accoutant, or what have you?

Will,

You're a hell of a writer, but your knowledge of the bad-beat genre really leaves something to be desired.

Plus there are 5 cards dealt in holdem games.

The answer to your rhetorical question, by the way, is... it depends.

But then that's the answer to almost all poker questions.

Wil,
It seems, to me, that you will always be a marked poker man because of your art jobs. You better always bring your A game because you are the TV/MOVIE/AUTHOR guy.

FABIAN

*cough* name dropper *cough*

Hey Wil,

Great story. Can't wait to hear the end. :-)

If you're ever in the Bay Area, look me up. We have a nice home game (3-6, with a 2/3-kill), and you are most invited. :-)

Bryan
Editor
The Mac Observer

THIS IS RACHAEL FROM NEW JERSEY.

THANKS FOR IGNORMING WIL WHEATON! HOW DOES IT
FEEL TO MAKE A FAN CRY? I'M 25 YEARS OLD AND
I HAVE TO BE IGNORED BY YOU? A 25 YEAR OLD WHO
CRIES BECAUSE SHE HAS TO PUT UP WITH THIS CRAP!
YOU KNOW I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD ACTOR AND A
NICE PERSON.. A NICE PERSON? MY OPINION ABOUT
YOU HAS REALLY CHANGED.

OF COURSE, IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BE
ABLE TO RESPOND TO ME! WHAT THE HELL I'M NOT
PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YA?

THANKS FOR HURTING A FAN!
RACHAEL

Dear readers of wilwheaton.net,
It's Rachael here. I am sorry I made a few
errors on here. Wil Wheaton has ignored me
on every accounts.

I have tried and tried to get him to reply
to me. But no such luck!!!! How do you guys
get him to reply to you? How do you it I'm
lost! Certain women only get his response!
I guess like I said, I am not really not
that pretty enough!

I put thanks for ignoring Wil Wheaton, I was
fastly typing that last message. Due to the
fact that I was highly upset. I was a fan of
Wil Wheaton's. Thats all in the past now!!!!
Hope you guys have fun at this site. For me
I'm no longer coming here. I tried the best
I could.

Again, I am sorry for the errors that I Have
typed! Hopefully, in the near future, I will
pick a good actor that actually won't diss me
as bad as Mr. Wheaton did!

Sincerely Yours,
Rachael

hahahahahahaha!!

on many counts.........

Aw rach honey, dont get mad Wil doesnt respond cause hes busy dont take it personally! He's a great Man, Actor, Writer (as anyone can see) and devoted to his Family! Just chill honey!

on another note

HOLY FARKING CRAP!!! KEITH!! DUDE!!! where have you been all my life love you honey! Has anyone else not noticed greatness was here (aside from Wil) BTW love the Sean Story.... you just wanted the women on the board to get all fluttery! *hopes Keith and T.E and George and ofc Sean pops by sometime and makes themselves known*

Jeez!! Well, i'm so looking forward to the next part of the story sweetheart, the most poker i play is with family and i must say it is for money but its the atmosphere and sheer piss taking that i love about it! we play stud mostly (the way we play is not under those kind of rules LMAO!)

*is still Stunned Snuffy was in the building....*

Wil, Any chance we can hear some great stories from when you guys were filming TS??? i'd love to hear them....

hugs

Andrea x

P.S have you noticed i'm typing like i'm from the U.S when i'm British?? where the hell did jeez come from? and i swear if i type guy or dude one more time you can come shoot me Unca Willie!

I think it's time for RACHAEL 25 FROM NEW JERSEY to up the meds.

Wil, amazing as per usual. Look forward to reading the rest...

Keith. Coogan. Oh my doG. You rawk! \m/ I agree with Andrea that some collaborative 'Toy Soldiers' stories (hopefully centering around the 'let's all stand in our underwear' scenes) would be really awesome.

And Rachael, what made you think that typing in all caps on the comments board was in any way appropriate? Wil has a life. He has made it clear that his family comes first, now and always. So, my best advice is respect that rule, and calm down!

Hey Wil,

This is the first time I've been to your site, and it's kind of funny that the topic happened to be about poker, something so near and dear to me. Anyway, I'm sure you know that you were very unlucky in that situation, Mr. lawyer onoly had about a 16.5% (about 5:1)chance of hitting his hand with 2 cards to come, unfortunatly for you, he got there. I do think however, that if you were reasonably sure he was stealing blinds, it might have been a better move to Push all-in pre-flop, I don't think theres any way he could have called you then.

Also him check raising you a small amount on the flop like that, it was a pretty solid indication that he was on a draw(even though it was a shit draw), and that you probably aren't going to be able to raise him out of it. Re-raising was still the right move because you were the odds on favorite by far.

Hopefully that little incident doesnt discourage you from playing anymore, and better luck next time.

Was Ashton Kutcher in the room,cuz you got PUNKED! heh =7)

When Chris Moneymaker won the World Series last summer there was this big deal about how he got in on a super-satellite $40 entrance fee online. Just after the contest, one of the reporters asked him, "Are you worried that the Attorney General of your state is going to pursue charges since you have admitted to gambling online in your home state?" [not really quoted -- but that was basically the question] Mr. Moneymaker suddenly got a worried look on his face and studdered out something like "I deny any claims that I gambled in my home state and I refer all future questions to my lawyers".

I question the wisdom of publically announcing participation in illegal activities on a public forum.

But then, this whole work is really just a crack at writing fiction, right (nudge nudge)

(I also questioned the wisdom of outing a poker speakeasy -- but then I saw that you changed the details)

Like "Christie from Oregon" above, I don't understand poker-speak. I understand more ER-babble and Trek techno-babble than most of the phrases in your story. But the pacing was great and even someone who doesn't understand the jargon could get into ebb and flow of the story. Good work, and I can't wait for the conclusion (it had better be just a 3 parter!)

I wonder. Are you mentioning your Sean Astin watch in this part because something is going to happen to it in the next part? Because, really, why would you drop that line in the story the way you did? Heh, you can delete this comment if it's a spoiler.

PART 3! PART 3!! ;^)

Dude, this is so strange. I played in my first no-limit holdem tournament last Saturday. The buy-in was $40 bucks, so I was not to shell shocked, and the top 4 places paid. $th got their money back, and the top three paid out 20%, 30% and 50%. I was just shooting for 4th place, being my first game outside of a friends house.

Long story short, I took second, and could have easily took 1st, but I was playing a bit too tight. Next month though, as they play once a month.

I am going to write about it as well and post it to my web page if you are at all interested. Got to love the game though...

I can't wait to see what unfolds Wil. Great storytelling.

One more thing.

Do you play online? I noticed you mentioned Ultimate Bet. I am working towards a sponsorship into the WSOP in Vegas. Heck, I have already booked my flight and hotel room. Ok, ok. It's set for a vacation, but if I can win a few more tourny's at UB, all is good.

Well, if you do play there, look me up sometime. I'd enjoy playing a hand or two with you. My user name there is Live2Dive.

That's it. I'm out.

Hey -- who's sponsoring WSOP this year? Did Binion's get outta hock and I missed the news? Got to get my cable back soon; I'm going through severe Texas Hold 'Em withdrawl, and Wil's story isn't helping!

(My favorite morning sports show is having a contest to fly to Vegas to watch some special Hold 'Em tourney 3/20...I'm sincerely thinking of trying to win, even if I have to go all by my lonesome!)

Can't wait for Part III, Wil...

c'monnnn. finish. finaaaash! x_x

I'm totally digging this storyline.

Very interesting subject and some great writing! I'm anxiously awaiting part 3. Please don't keep us in suspense much longer.

Cheers,

Lasz

Roberta - Harrah's has officially purchased Binion's. According to them, they are still going to have the WSOP downtown. However, they are quite iffy on when they are going to re-open the joint. At least that's the way they are being with the former employees. So, technically, yes, there is going to be a WSOP. Although, I won't believe it until they actually run the first tourney.

By the way Wil, great story! I'm really hoping there is a part three.

I'd wager the individuals in Guantanamo unable to see lawyers would disagree with Shakespeare there, Wil.

Wil have you read the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown yet?

I would have slow played the guy too...
Also... I would have gotten beat.
No worries.
It happens.
But... I'll play with that guy all day and all night if I get the chance...

If you did think he was stealing blinds, you should have raised him big pre-flop. You also should have made a huge bet on the turn--one that'll make it very expensive for a gut-shot. Nothing's a guarantee though with these dumb players out there.

I am on the edge of my seat!
What happens next?

Whatever DID happen, you can rest assured
you are becoming a better writer every time
I check in here.

And I don't say that lightly.

Good solid writing Wil.

(Besides that, actors wouldn't be _ _ _ _ without good writers now would they???)

Write On!

The aforementioned story must be considered a work of FICTION, merely the Artist Formerly Known as Uncle Willy's account of an incident that may or may not have occurred in a state where gambling may or may not be illegal.

Now, where's part 3? And where's Shane?

SHAAAAAAAAAANNNNEE!!!!!

Glad to hear that the game was not rigged or anything, just that Mr. Lawyer got damn lucky.

Now, where the hell is part 3???

Hey Wil,

I haven't read Part III yet, but I'd like to recommend the book Poker Tournament Strategies by Sylvester Suzuki (pen name). It gives a better overview of poker tournament strategies than Winning Low Limit Hold 'Em by Jones, Winning Poker by Krieger, or any of the 2+2 books.

In the case of the 47o, yeah, you took a bad beat, but you also made a good play until the turn. On the turn a bet would have been correct, and then releasing your hand on a raise. The most important thing to do early in a tournament is survive. Sure, it's great to build a big stack going into the latter rounds, but the value of your chips is malleable throughout the tournament, so it's not required. Better to survive than bust out.

Wil U.

Funny, when I first started the RiveredAgain site I e-mailed Wil to see if he'd like to post a bad beat story or two.

OK Wil, you've forced my hand... I'll sweeten the offer... how about a free Rivered Again t-shirt if you submit a bad beat story to my site?

Great site, and God bless...

Rock

Tell Shane to kiss your ass!

I prolly would have moved in with that hand also, but one thing that I have learned is that you have to watch out for idiots playing this game that just have the money to play and don't care if they win or lose. Hang tough, and if you want more practice, you can always join my game. ;-)

No. Really. If you are ever going to be in Ohio (Why in the world would you be in Ohio?), e-mail me, I'll get a game together for you!

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