HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, WIL. You are a wonderful parent, and remember one thing, STEPS are things you walk up. :) You have been the male role model in Nolan and Ryans life for a long time, sounds like a Dad to me. :)

Happy Father's Day to you Pop too.

Posted by: Quincey at June 19, 2005 11:13 AM

Happy Fathers Day to you too Wil!! You've been a wonderful Dad to those guys and I know they appreciate you. Remember that in the word Stepdad, the word Dad is *definitely* more important, especially when it comes to you :)

Posted by: Erin :) at June 19, 2005 11:24 AM

Uncle Wil... I *have* a step dad. He's been my step dad for, oh, 25 years now.

When he first came on the scene, he *was* a backup goalie. Cuz I was and am still close to my natural father.

But, through patience and kindness and discipline and hard work, my step dad has come to mean as much to me as my natural father.

He has had as much of an influence on me as anyone and I'm happy and proud that he's part of my life.

That's how the boys feel about you.

Sure, you came in off the bench late in the game. But you've been solid for the boys and they will never, *ever* forget that.

--AJ

Posted by: AJ at June 19, 2005 11:30 AM

Having been a stepfather for the last 18 years (my stepdaughter just graduated High School and is on her way to college in the fall). It is a weird place to be at times. You are not the biological father so at times you feel very strange about where you should be "the dad" and where you should stay out of it.

Yours is even a bit weirder than mine since my kid's biological father is not in the picture at all. Your kids have regular connection with their biological father.

All in all though after 18 years I can't say it has been anything but a good experience for me. There were some bad times but you don't choose to remember them. I remember the high school graduations and the cross country driving vacations.

Have a good day!

P.S. If Mr. McGoohan were to meet young Carmen does Mr. Hanky get to be the new #2?

Posted by: ZodOxide at June 19, 2005 12:14 PM

Happy Father's Day Will. Rememeber, "back-up goalies" can win the game and become the bona fide hero. Great blog by the way!

Posted by: HumanityCritic at June 19, 2005 12:14 PM

Did I say Carman? I meant Cartman.

I do hate spell checkers and people who don't look to make sure the spelling correction is really a correction.

Posted by: ZodOxide at June 19, 2005 12:25 PM

Happy father's day to you Wil, and to all the other dads. I don't have a step dad, technically, but my mom's fiance (of the last 7 years... pick a date, why doncha?) has been more of a father to me than my own. I definitely love him like a dad, just like your boys love you. Relax and have fun with them today!

Posted by: LolaGabanna at June 19, 2005 12:35 PM

Speaking as a mom with two boys of my own, it's not your "title" that's important, it's your relationship with the kids that counts. From what I've read and heard on this website, you're looking pretty damned good.

Posted by: jubalation at June 19, 2005 12:49 PM

As a fellow backup goalie, I can appreciate your sentiment. However, the kids always make us feel like a starter huh Dad?

Happy Fathers Day

Posted by: drdrew at June 19, 2005 12:57 PM

I hope your Fathers Day is awesome :D (and being the hockey fanatic I am... Patrick Roy was actually the Colorado Avalanche's back-up goalie when they won the Stanley Cup in 1996.. so.. yeah! There is nothing wrong with the back-up!)

Posted by: Amber J at June 19, 2005 01:07 PM

happy Father's Day, Wil :-)

Posted by: tim at June 19, 2005 01:07 PM

As a fellow stepdad to 2 wonderful little girls Wil, thanks for the sentiment. Glad I'm not the only one feeling like a backup goalie today :)

Happy Father's Day to all you dads and stepdads. Have a good one.

Posted by: Eric Draven at June 19, 2005 02:21 PM

Though you think of yourself as the "backup goalie", I'm sure the kids think of you as one of the best people they know, and love you just as much as their biological dad.

To all dads, biological and step- alike, have a fantastic Father's Day!

Posted by: Anne at June 19, 2005 03:02 PM

I, too, married into kids. Father's Day isn't a big deal for me because I'm not their father, and don't want to be. They have a dad. I'm considered (by my own design) as Mom's husband, semi-obnoxious roommate, and boss of them only because I pay more bills than they do. It's a comfortable arrangement.

Plus, it makes the day AFTER Father's Day 'Dave Day'.

Posted by: davelog at June 19, 2005 03:21 PM

I like being the back up goalie.

I salute you back

Posted by: Mikey at June 19, 2005 03:53 PM

This is a holiday that I've never paid much attention to, not having had one, or the other (an original, or a back-up, as it were) to appreciate on this day. I'm reminded, rather forcibly, every year when my BF gets cards and hugs from his girls that fathers, in whatever shape or form, are appreciated by their children just for breathing. Even though the exes have often made it difficult for him, he's done his best to be there for his kids, and that's what really counts in the end.

So, on that note, Happy Father's Day Wil. I hope you get a lot of hugs from the boys today. ;)

Posted by: Khali at June 19, 2005 04:17 PM

A dad is a dad is a dad. There are many sperm donors who don't even bother to pay for the children they leave behind. You are there, you are loving them, and you are helping to raise them. Happy Fathers' Day, Wil.

Posted by: Running2Ks at June 19, 2005 04:49 PM

From one fatherette -- dadino? Popster Lite(tm)? Last Chance ATM? -- to another, happy day.

Posted by: Mark Bourne at June 19, 2005 05:09 PM

You're raising those children so you are a dad, biological or not. They may love you in a different way than they might if you were their bio-dad, but I can't imagine they love you any less. Today is a day to celebrate your commitment to those kids, and that family. Happy Father's Day, Wil.

Posted by: TheSingah at June 19, 2005 07:20 PM

I can relate. As a Stepmom I always feel this way on Mother's Day. But then being the backup goalie can be a good thing sometimes. What we lack in star power we make up for in reliability.

Posted by: CGG at June 19, 2005 07:56 PM

A great big happy Fathers Day Wil!!

You are one heck of a parent, which we can all tell by the love for your kids!! Hope you have had a great Fathers Day!! The best to You, Anne, Ryan, and Nolan!

Posted by: JCade at June 19, 2005 08:28 PM

Hey Wil. I've never posted a comment before on your site, but I have been a long time reader. I just wanted to say that this is a great blog, and I check it daily.

Posted by: frizbay at June 19, 2005 08:59 PM

You know what Wil? The only Dad that has been there consistently, has loved me the most and has always been in my corner has been my Step Dad.

Step Dads Rock!!!

Happy Father's Day Wil.

Posted by: lois at June 19, 2005 09:33 PM

First off, Happy Fathers Day!

Second, I was a step-child (my step-dad adopted me when I was 15) and let me tell you that you are SO important. I know how awkward it can feel, having been on the other end, of having to not hurt the feelings of one Dad over another, but the love you provide is amazing.

You don't have to be their Dad, you chose to. You could have just been the guy their Mom married, and it means so much that you're there, and involved, and active.

Posted by: Briski at June 19, 2005 09:43 PM

I just did a SEARCH for “Step Parent's Day” There doesn't seem to be such a holiday, but there are people pushing to have it added in as a day to celebrate. Is this really a good idea? It just sounds like a sanctified Hallmark moment. The next thing you know is that we'll have a line of celebrations for "Surrogate Mother Day", "Biological Parent Day", "Egg/Sperm Donor Day", "National Fertilization Day", and one for Laboratories: "Happy Test Tube Day".

I think such things lose their focus in trying to break things down when it should be love, thanks, and gratitude to build things up in anything that is truly classified as a family. A family is any gathering of people where LOVE resides. It is not reserved for the extreme Right-winged families nor the people who practice hateful ways in their beliefs. It is not reserved for the autonomous nor the politically correct, since politics should NEVER be the heart of any family. There are kinds of families out there who love each other deeply who are of a different faith, culture, orientation, background, who are downtrodden, or not financially stable. Many of these people know what it is truly like to be a family through thick and thin.

So at this time, I would like to celebrate those people who are able to see BEYOND THEMSELVES to make sacrifices for the ones they love. These are the ones who deserve the recognition of being called a family. For those who are the key Matriarchs and Patriarchs of their respective (and extended) families, I am thankful and give blessings to those who know the meaning of love and parenting. May the hearth of your hearts never extinguish. - Dusty

Posted by: DustyTymes at June 19, 2005 09:48 PM

Just a note for above...

As for Surrogate Mothers, it is a loving a noble thing and it a selfless act of love and sacrifice. (With the exception of the RARE few who are just in it for the money, but this I find doubtful.)

As for Biological and Non-biological members who are part of the extended family, kudos. It is a rare gift to take part in the circle of a family that is centered in love and welcome you as their own.

Posted by: DustyTymes at June 19, 2005 09:58 PM

Oh DRAT!!!

After all that, I forgot to mention. Remember Wil, almost ANY guy can be a Father, but I takes a special person to be a Dad(dy)!

Happy DAD's Day!!!

Hugs to All! - Dusty

Posted by: DustyTymes at June 19, 2005 10:03 PM

hey wil!

Back up goalie or not, those kids will grow up to respect you just as much if not more than their biological dad. My step father has put in 110% more than my real father. I am 25, he has been in my life since I was 9.This year I did more for my stepdad. I respect him and love him so much. Just give it time, when they grow up and mature more it will pay off big time. For me I was able to look back and reflect on what he has done and I love him so much. So when they grow up and they can reflect back they will realize exactly what is it that you are doing now that has got them where they will be far down the line.
Just keep doing what your doing and eventually it won't just be a holiday but a reflection of a life long comittment of a man who stepped up to the plate and took on a heavy load.

Love ya Wil!!! You Rock on!!!

Posted by: quietpresence at June 19, 2005 10:33 PM

My mother married my step father when I was five. Over the course of the next ten years or so, I made it very clear that he was NOT my father. After growing up and pulling my head out of my ass, I realized that he was the best dad I could have ever hoped for. The last twelve years of our relationship have been wonderful, and I value his opinion and concern more than anyone elses.

It's hard playing that back up role, but knowing that they love you and you're giving your all to them is enough to make up for that I think.

Happy Father's Day!

Posted by: halfjackd at June 20, 2005 01:10 AM

who's your daddy ? i would scan it in, but i don't have a usb cable & copyright issues & such, but it's the main text on the miniposter given out today (yesterday) for the showing of starwars ep 3...picture of vader in black, "who's your daddy ?, star wars, episode III, father's day 2005"...hadn't seen eps 1 & 2, read mixed reviews about 3, i found it quite entertaining......there with my father & sister (he denied having any prophesies to tell me about)...i hope that my father perceived my appreciation for him & say *dude!*, backup goalie ?...as fullback, i say you must fully rock: your kids & their mother & you also know that you must rock, 'cause if you don't, we're (and you're) gonna kick your ass...heh

Posted by: brenn at June 20, 2005 03:25 AM

I didn't have a dad OR stepdad to look up to. My grandfather refused to take care of us when he sent me to the emergency room because of Dimatapp. Perhaps that's why many close friends are male. Anyway, Nolan and Ryan should be pleased they have you to look up to and watch over them. Happy Dad's Day Wil! Hope you made the best of it.

Posted by: Jackie at June 20, 2005 04:35 AM

Reading what you've done for your kids, I can assure you that they are lucky for having you as a Dad, step or otherwise.

Having a great Dad is a gift both rare and valuable. It's a bitch when you can't just pick up the phone and talk to them, bit if you close your eyes and listen with your heart, you can still hear them speak to you from what they left behind inside you.

Posted by: Thomas at June 20, 2005 05:36 AM

I am prolly just repeating what everyone else said, but the things you have done and said for those kids, def. seems you are more then a back up. U are more like a Tom Brady, u WERE the backup, then they put u in the main position to test you out and u KICKED SO MUCH ASS, they kept u there and u won 3 Superbowls.

Posted by: DrunkMc at June 20, 2005 06:07 AM

Hey Wil,

Happy Father's Day. My neice has a step-dad who is way more involved in her life than her own loser Dad. At school and daycare she made cards like the rest of the kids for their Dads. It never even crossed her mind to give them to her own biological Dad. They all went to her step-dad. I hope you had a good one.

Jenny

Posted by: Jenny at June 20, 2005 06:17 AM

Funny you mention backup goalie...

I often felt that way before, but now my boy is 12, nearly 13, and I have been around for over 5 years now. Just recently, he has stopped calling me Glyn and started calling me Dad (he used to mix it up for th emost part... depending on mood I guess) and I have to admit, it is quite freaky sometimes. But then it is really what I want, so I should be thrilled!

Father's day was great though! I had a nice home-made card and a new adjustable lamp for painting. Couldn't be happier!

Keep at those rascals Wil. You can help make a big difference in their live's, as I hope I do with my son :)

Posted by: Glyn Evans at June 20, 2005 07:01 AM

Wil,

like many of the above commenters, I have a stepdad, who married my mom when I was 5. Since then we've been inseparable, and even though my bio-dad and I communicate and have a good relationship, there's no question who my "real" dad is. My stepdad and I are best buds. Biology doesn't determine this stuff. I'm living proof that nurture is far more important than nature. You're a great dad to your kids, and while the relationship they have with you might be different than the one they have with their bio-dad, it certainly doesn't imply inferiority.

-Jess

Posted by: freyja79 at June 20, 2005 08:49 AM

You know what you mean to those boys and in their life. I like what someone said above about back-up goalies being the ones who can win the game sometimes. It's true. It's your day, too. You may not get to have it with your boys, (guessing from what you've said about Anne's ex), but you know who and what you are to them.

Titles like "step" are such artificial, contrived formailities. You have touched their lives; you are another caring adult who gives of his time and experience to enrich their experience, and THAT is what matters. Whether you're on the couch with them watching CSI or driving them any of the myriad places that kids always seem to need to be, you are a contributing member of their life. There's nothing "step" about that.

It's your day, too, Wil.

Posted by: naiah christine earhart at June 20, 2005 11:19 AM

Hi Wil! Happy belated Father’s Day to you as well. I too am a step father to two boys about the same age as yours and I know just how you feel. It’s a tough, thankless job and days like yesterday remind us of that. Like you, our family has a bio-dad in the picture who leaves much to be desired from my wife and I. The kids of course don’t see that. All of that just makes things even more difficult. But be brave and hang in there. I’m certain that all this hard work will pay off in the end for all of us. Until then, if you ever want to trade stories/tips over a Guinness or two in Old Town, just let me know. I live in the town next door to you.
John

Posted by: JWC at June 20, 2005 11:27 AM

Thanks Wil. I am a Step Father and I have a few Step Fathers of my own too.

I'm not sure what is harder - feeling like the back up goalie or trying not to make my Step Father or my Father feel that way themselves. I hope I'm half as good at it as my daughter is.

Posted by: Adamant at June 20, 2005 12:22 PM

Happy Father's Day Wil! I would also like to say Happy Father's Day to my step dad Gordon. I didn't meet him until I was 16, so things were a bit awkward at first, but he is a great step dad. Love you Gordon.

Posted by: SarahWearingPants at June 20, 2005 09:35 PM

Happy Father's Day, Wil!

Clearly you are the coolest person ever, since the lovely and talented Meg Wood has finally made you the Boyfriend of the Week! Rock on!

http://www.megwood.com/

Posted by: Katya at June 21, 2005 02:43 AM

But Father's Day isn't until September...Stupid Americans.
Anyways, you can be my honourary father Wil. You sound (from your own ramblings) like one of the good ones.

Posted by: Zkid at June 22, 2005 01:34 AM

DrunkMc said Wil was like Tom Brady...
It would have been MORE chaotic if Wil was more like Mike Brady (With apologies to Carol, Marsha, Jan, Cindy, Greg, Peter, Bobby, Alice, and Tiger.)(Sorry...SAM was not part of the household!)

Posted by: DustyTymes at June 22, 2005 08:16 AM

I know that feeling, on “THAT” day

Posted by: griff at June 24, 2005 01:55 AM

Ouch, I never thought of it that way. I'm marrying a man here in a couple months that's been in my son's life since he was two. Hunter loves him so, so very much. But his dad will always be dad, it's set's them apart.

I'm going to have to think about this, and honestly I don't see a happy ending.

Posted by: Shellybean/Michele at June 26, 2005 02:48 PM