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Lowtax!

Well, we all gave it our culture-jamming best, but it looks like EW is determined to listen not to the teeming masses of internet weenies like us...
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Fan Flare

Britney tops our yearend poll nominees. But fans went beyond Madonna, Nicole, and Julia to contribute surprising finalists by Michael Small

THE KID With two hits this year (''Moulin Rouge'' and ''The
Others''), Kidman made the cut .

Glance at the results of EW.com's nomination poll for the Entertainer of the Year, and you'll see some usual suspects -- Julia, Britney, Madonna -- but also a few surprises. For instance, James Marsters.
Though he plays the spiky-haired Spike on ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer,'' he seems like a long shot compared with his show's main star, Sarah Michelle Gellar. But Gellar didn't even make the top 40, and Marsters finished in the top three with Madonna and Britney Spears (who earned the most votes).

Well, it just goes to show, ya don't always know what will happen on the Internet. Especially when it comes to a poll. As EW.com viewers seem very happy to prove, online polling methods are far from scientific. Fan groups tend to regard it not just as an opportunity -- but a duty -- to get their favorites on the list. But because
we're looking for the year's top entertainer -- not necessarily the person with the most avid fan base -- we reviewed the top contenders and, when the voting was roughly equal, selected only those for whom
2001 was an important year.

That disqualified some fan favorites, including Insane Clown Posse, the Detroit-based, makeup-wearing hip-hop performers who put out two albums last year but lost their major-label deal this year. Likewise for Wil Wheaton, a favorite with entertainment fans from the
discussion site Fark.com. Wheaton, who played Wesley Crusher on ''Star Trek: the Next Generation'' until 1993, appeared in some indie movies this year and runs his own website, but it's a stretch to say that 2001 was his shining hour. (Maybe next year, though, when he has
a cameo in the movie ''Star Trek: Nemesis.'') Another contender who didn't make the final cut is Dave Grohl, frontman for the Foo Fighters and guest drummer for Queens of the Stone Age. Though he toured this year, Grohl didn't release an album.

Then there are those who got thousands of votes -- but only from a few sources (a hacker's trick that our polling system can detect and correct). One that's worthy of special mention: Rich ''Lowtax'' Kyanka, who runs the humor site SomethingAwful.com. To reinforce their case, fans launched an email campaign in his favor. We received praise (''he is undoubtedly the most brilliant man of this decade''), incentives (''I will gleefully pay newsstand prices for any issue of your magazine with any mention of Mr.Kyanka''), and near poetry (''[His site is] amusing like a clown. And sometimes scary like a
clown too, but a good scary. Like a roller coaster.'') Alas, the repeated votes from few addresses (and the similar phrasing in many of the emails) were a giveaway of something fishy. So Kyanka didn't make the cut. At least until next year.

Which leaves us with the 10 finalists. Other than Spears, Madonna, and Marsters, there's Christina Aguilera (who qualified for her ''Lady Marmalade'' video), Nicole Kidman, 'N Sync (Surprise! Well, not really…), Julia Roberts, Jack Black (who earned more than twice
as many votes as his ''Shallow Hal'' costar Gwyneth Paltrow), and a fictional guy who's entertaining a few people this year, Harry Potter. Oh, and finishing off the list, there's another longshot entry: Les Claypool, singer/bassist for the alt-rock band, Primus;
he's also a member of the supergroup Oysterhead (with Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio and Police drummer Stewart Copeland), which released its debut album, ''The Grand Pecking Order'' this year.

So now it's time for the final poll when viewers will choose one Entertainer of the Year from these 10 nominees. Voting begins at 5 p.m. EST on Fri., Nov. 30, only on AOL -- and it continues through 5 p.m. EST Thurs., Dec. 6 (AOL Keyword: EWPoll). The results will be
printed in the yearend issue of Entertainment Weekly magazine, on newsstands starting Dec. 14. You can also check in with Rich ''Lowtax'' Kyanka, who will -- undoubtedly -- have something to say about it.

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Progress continues to be made on bringing the site back to normal.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I taught a GREAT class today. :)

Wired

I did this interview with Wired News about 2 weeks ago, and it's running today.

I am just beyond happy.

I spent quite a bit of time talking with Noah Shactman, who wrote the story, and it seems like he really 'gets' me, and what this whole thing is about.

I've also done an interview with Salon, and People magazine is coming over this afternoon to take pictures for a feature story they're going to be running very soon.

It's just weird, all this stuff that's going on in my life right now...I've spent the last few years just doing my own thing, you know? Enjoying being married, raising kids, working on a few movies here and there, but mostly just writing and doing things I've always wanted to do, like sketch comedy and improv...and now that I'm ready to make a return to movies and TV, those opportunities are presenting themselves to me. I think a lot of it has to do with me being ready to balance my family and acting responsibilities and desires. A year ago, I really just wanted to be with my wife and step-kids, and that's what I did. I wasn't ready for success as an actor again...but now that I'm ready for it, it seems to be happening. Glad the Universe is listening to me. At least for now. :)

I had a meeting with a VERY big casting director last week, and he started out the meeting by telling me that
I was totally wrong for this project, but he really respected me as an actor, so he'd talk with me, since I
was already there...then, after we'd spoken for about 10 minutes, he told me that he was totally wrong about me. He said that I was smart and funny, and I held myself very well, and lots of people were aware of my work, so I would be right after all. His exact words were: "Well, Wil, you've completely changed my mind about you."

How cool is that?

Changing people's minds is exactly what I've been wanting to do, and this Wired article sort of validates that, and so does the meeting I had last week. That meeting yieldied a test deal, and we're just trying to work out the details.

Nemesis

I read the script for Star Trek X last night.

Holy shit.

Holy, Holy, Holy shit.

It's easily, far and away, the best Trek movie since maybe "Wrath of Khan"? Certainly the best TNG movie. I am so excited to be in this movie, I can't even begin to describe it. Matter of fact, I'm so excited that I've decided to go ahead and write another installment in the SpongBob Vega$ Pants saga! That should be up later
tonight, or tomorrow.

I talked to Brent Spiner yesterday, and he told me how excited they are that I'm going to be working with them. I'm gong to call Rick Berman today, and tell him "Thank you" and let him know how excited I am...I'm really, really nervous about that phone call...so hold a good thought for me.

I am having my final costume fitting tonight, and I work Wednesday and Thursday. I will take all the pictures I can get away with, and I'll post them when I get the OK from Paramount.

News

We're completing the move to the new server tonight. When that happens, I'll be able to move all the old GM
entries to Movable Type, and that stuff will be available again.

I've had to take the Soapbox offline until the move is finished, and I'm still fixing the gallery. Please check the update page for info about that stuff.

Funny

So last night I hardly slept, I was so giddy and excited about going to work on Trek X today...my call is 8:30 AM, which means that I have to get up at 6:45, and leave by 7:45.

So I go to bed last night at about 10, so I don't look like hell for the movie. Too bad, because I didn't get the call at 11:30 last night that my call time had been pushed to 11:30 this morning.

I found out that my call had been changed when I was walking to the stage from the parking lot, and my cell phone rang. It's Anne, and she tells me that she checked our messages and my call had been pushed.

I'm sure that this is somehow funny, but I'm a little scared now...what if this is all an elaborate (and expensive) practical joke, and I'm really on SpyTV?

We'll find out more, later today.

A sort of Homecoming

It's 1:15 in the morning. The crew is tired. I am tired. Most of the cast has been released, and it's only me, Patrick, and Gates left, along with about 30 background actors. It's the last shot of the night, and we're finally doing my scene.

We block it, rehearse it once, and then we shoot it. It's a pretty complicated shot, camera-wise, and I can tell that the director is getting frustrated with the constant re-takes, and we all know that the studio will not let us go past 1:30., so there's a touch of urgency in the air.

Late on a Wednesday night. Long hours. Most of the cast has been released, because they've got a long doy tomorrow.

It's like I never left, and I love it.

There's much, much more, but I have to go back to the studio in a couple hours, and I've got other work to do, so I'll write more tomorrow. Don't worry, I've made notes, so I won't forget.

A few highlights of the day:

*Hanging out with John Logan, who is as excited to me me as I am to meet him.

*Talking with Rick Berman, realizing that we are "cool" with each other.

*Having dinner with Brent.

*Racing about the lot with Jonathan in his golf cart.

There is so very, very much more. Check in tomorrow.

I hope everyone is having an awesome day.

Am I annoying or not?

I'm trying to catch up a little bit on emails (there were over 100 when I got home this morning), and this is one of the things that was sent to me.

LMAO.

Thanks, Nina.

Saturday

Look at me! I'm a cowboy! Howdy, howdy, howdy.

Yes, I realize that I have not made good on my promise to update regarding Trek X, but it's actually taken me this long to just get the smile off my face and catch up with stuff at home.

I'm sorry for the delays, but I've just gotten so damn busy this week. We're doing yet another move for the site, because the traffic is just insane. Loren and I have been moving everything over to a new server (last time it was just it's own IP, my bad), and poking at it with sticks to make sure that it works. The site may be unreachable for 24 hours or so, when we do the DNS update, so I'll apologize in advance for that.

There are wonderful stories to tell, from this week, and I will tell them, but my house really needs to be cleaned up, and I really must wash my clothes...I'm running out of socks. :)

Oh, I'm also working on getting the old GM entries moved into Movable Type, which I'll be using as the new journaling solution. Also, watch for a nifty phpWebsite-based section, opening sometime next week.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Go Lakers.

Nugget

Well, someone has been out of town.

Someone has been too busy to update his website.

Someone has been spending time with his wife, instead of his posse.

I think we all know who I'm talking about...

Damn you, Adam Curry!! Write a damn story about Ace of Base, already!

So I'm back from outerspace, and I just came in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I changed my stupid IP, I even changed my URL. The only thing left to do is put up pics of naked girls!!

Yes! Rhymin and stealin.

Enough with the vague references, Wheaton. Get to the point.

Yes. Sorry about that. I bet you're wondering where the hell the Star Trek updates are, and why the hell you can't comment on these little perls of wisdom that fall from my mouth behind the firehouse, to say nothing of the absence of Soapbox and galleries.

Well, first things first: The Trek updates are being *gasp* edited by me. They're important, and I want them to be just so, and that means it's taking time. Hey, it was worth the wait for the slashdot interview, right? (wasn't it? ::fret::)

The comments will be returning when I get Movable Type all configured to my liking, and I import all the old entries from Greymatter. Soapbox will return when we get the server issues worked out. I think we've moved now, but I haven't had a chance to talk with loren, so I don't know.

What I really want to talk about today, is Amway. But I won't. What I will talk about, though, is the KWOD Boomer and The Dave's Twisted Christmas concert last night, where I got to sit in with the band "Nine Inch Males" and play my harmonica, and stuff.

How'd all this come about? When I was going to be on Weakest Link, NBC asked me if I'd do some press for them, to promote the show. I told them that I'd dig that, and they gave me a HUGE list of radio stations to call for some live interviews. Normally, I'd link to the old entry about this, but...yeah. Broken. Sorry. Take my word for it.

One of the stations I called was KWOD in Sacramento. I used to listen to the morning show on KWOD (That's pronunced "Quad" not "Kay-Wad") when I'd go to visit my brother up in Hella (which is what we called Sacramento back then) while he was working and living up there. So I sort of felt an affinity for Boomer and The Dave, and I told them that. We had a GREAT interview, and The Dave asked me if I'd be interested in coming up on December 10th to be part of the Twisted Christmas show. He mentioned that Cake would be playing.

That's all it took. Cake is in my top 3 bands of all time. The only reason they're not number one is because I have this sad attachment to Depeche Mode from when I was a kid...but I'm getting help for it.

So, long story longer, I piled me, my wife, my brother and his fiancee into a rental beast, and we drove to Hella on Sunday. I did the morning show with Boomer and The Dave on Monday morning, and then attended the concert last night.

It was so goddamn cool.

We got to go backstage, in this big arena. Now, it's the first time I've ever gotten to do that, and it was exactly like "Almost Famous", as totally lame as that sounds. But it's true. Anne, Jen and I ate dinner backstage, with the roadcrew, and sat at the same table as the guitarist for Cake. Now, when we were sitting there, I didn't know that he was who he was, which I guess is okay...if I hadn't been going on and on about how much I love Cake and that I can't believe I'm getting to see the best band ever...fortunately he didn't say anything, which is good, because I would have been pretty damn embarassed. I mean, it would be like me sitting within earshot of some Trekkie completely freaking out about TNG, or something. But it was totally cool. Eating beef stroganoff, which I normally hate, but, hey, it was Rock Food (TM), so it was okay by me.

After eating, we got to go meet some of the bands who were playing the show. Tantric was really cool, even though I'm not crazy about their music, while 2/3 of Alien Ant Farm was really cool. Let me tell you something about AAF: The lead singer was really nice, the bass player was beyond cool (even gave me an autograph for Nolan, who is crazy insane for them), while the guitar player was a complete dick. I was stunned at what a complete A-hole he was, and how badly he treated all these kids who were waiting to get his autograph. Made me glad that I really go out of my way to make people feel good when I'm doing autographs for them. Also made their music less enjoyable for me to listen to, knowing what a jerk that guy was. I sure hope he was just having a long day( I know they've been on tour awhile).

Now, here is how much I love Cake: I actually waited in line so I could meet them, and tell them how much I love their music. It was funny, because with each passing moment, I got more excited, and more nervous, fearing that they would be lame, like the AAF guy was...and, again, it reminded me of what it's like to be on the other side of that autograph table. It was some nice perspective.

Finally, I get to the table, and I tell the first two guys, "I don't have anything for you to sign, but I just wanted to tell you how much I love your music, and how much it means to me."

I was trying my best to not sound like a freak...I mean, there's a fine line between "I really love your music" and "I'm a complete freak who drove 6 hours to see you". I know, because I've met both of those people, many, many times, at conventions.

I guess I didn't come off too badly, because I met the whole band, and they were all cool to me! Even the lead singer, who I'd been warned could be kind of a jerk from time to time. They were so nice to me, and totally made me feel like they cared that I liked their music. I was so moved, that after I walked away, I ran back, to tell them thank you for being so cool and nice, because I'm always afraid that the people I admire will be dicks when I meet them. The lead singer told me that it really meant a lot to them, that I went back there and told him that, because he worries that people think he's a jerk from time to time. So that was really cool.

The show starts, and I play my harmonica with the Nine Inch Males, and I was told that I "wailed". Wailed! YES! ROCK!
**METAL FIST**
**DEVIL HORNS**

I totally got to tell a guy to "rock out with your cock out". It was hellarad. Hella. Hella. Hella.

Tantric played, and they sounded really good, then AAF played, a great show which I would have really loved if that guy hadn't been such a dick. Then it was Sum 41, who were amazing, even though I'm not really into them. They also came off as really nice guys, too.

Then, it was time for Cake.

Oh.
My.
Farking.
God.

They are even better live than I could have ever hoped for. They just owned that place, and their stage presence was incredible. They were just beyond cool. They played nearly all of my favorite songs, including "Stick Shifts and Safety Belts", "Nugget", "Never There", and "Sheep Go To Heaven". They closed with an amazing, haunting, beautiful version of "Jolene".

If Cake is ever coming to to a show within 6 hours of your house, you simply must go.

Matter of fact, if you don't have them already, you MUST get their new CD Comfort Eagle, and my personal favorite, Fashion Nugget.

It was a GREAT 36 hours, which I got to spend with my wife and brother, and future sister-in-law. A huge thank you to my brother's friend Bill, who let us sleep on his floor, to Boomer and The Dave at KWOD 106 for inviting us up, and, especially, to CAKE for not being dicks, and giving me the most memorable concert experience since I saw the Concert For The Masses back in 1989.

I gotta take more road trips like this one.

All that other stuff will be worked out in the next few days, promise. :)

Sheep Go To Heaven

I was so damn impressed by CAKE on Monday, they are the only band I've been listening to. If you want to hear them for yourselves, you can tune in to the RFB, where I'm streaming some CAKE while I work on the website.

El Oso

I did this interview for Salon about a week and a half ago. It ran yesterday, and I forgot to post about it.

Breakfast

Anne doesn't go into work until late in the day on Thursdays, so she usually sleeps in and I get up with the kids, get them ready for school, and all that jazz.

So this morning, after I took them to school, I came home, and made Anne breakfast while she was asleep. Strawberry waffles, freshly ground coffee and OJ (the drink, not the murderer and drug dealer).

It was awesome. After we ate, we walked Ferris, who chased birds and attacked sprinklers, then went and watched Ryan's school play.

It's been a good day. If you haven't, make your wife breakfast some time. It's cool.

Score one for the good guys

Charges to Be Dropped Against Russian Computer Programmer
The Associated Press
Published: Dec 13, 2001

SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) - Charges will be dropped against a Russian computer programmer accused of violating copyrights on software made by Adobe Systems Inc. in exchange for his testimony in the trial of his company, a spokeswoman for the programmer said Thursday.
Dmitry Sklyarov, 27, had been charged in the first criminal prosecution under the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act.

Sklyarov and his employer, ElcomSoft Co. Ltd. of Moscow, were charged with releasing a program that let readers disable restrictions on Adobe's electronic-book software. The program is legal in Russia.

Sklyarov was arrested after speaking at a hacking convention in Las Vegas on July 16. He lives with his wife and two children in an apartment in San Mateo and was working on a doctorate in computer science.

AP-ES-12-13-01 1602EST

Watery Fowls

Boy, what a day. If you live in Los Angeles, I hope you got to see the AMAZING sunset we had tonight. Ryan took pictures from the car while we were driving home, and as soon as I fix the gallery, I'll put them up.

We got our Xmas tree last night. I'm so torn about that...on the one hand, I totally hate the idea of killing a tree and putting it in the house for a few weeks...but on the other hand, it's such a long-standing family tradition, and, especially after the loss of my Aunt Val, I've realized how important traditions are to me.

Example: I listen to this guy, Dennis Prager, on the radio here in LA from time to time. Dennis is very conservative, but he's not a jackass conservative reactionary like Rush or Sean Hannity, who's recently been thrust upon us here. Dennis is very honest, and amazingly smart. He's also not one of these idiots who toes the line no matter what. He talks about issues of morality, without succumbing to demagoguery and hyperbole. (Jesus, I feel like I'm writing an essay here. Score me an extra 3 points for big, important-sounding words). Suffice (there I go again) to say that, even though I'm pretty out there on the Left, I can listen to Dennis, and, although I disagree with him often, I always think a second time.

So, today, on his show, Dennis was talking about the importance of tradition in human existence. He was talking about the difference between having a day off, and having a day where we engage in some sort of tradition. It's the difference, to me, between not going to work and drinking beer, and finding a Veteran to thank, on Veteran's Day.

So, tradition is very important to me, and this recently came up, at my mom and dad's house.

The whole family was there, and we were talking about Xmas dinner. My brother was pulling for this German potato salad that we have eaten since we were kids, but never as a holiday meal...I mean, getting together at mom and dad's for Melted Salad is just awesome, but I was really not into it for our Xmas dinner meal. I wanted to have the traditional turkey, candied yams, mashed potatoes and stuffing, punkin pie, and the whole thing...and I was getting a lot of resistance from the rest of the family about it, until I explained to my mom how important it was to me that we have what we've always had, because it wouldn't feel like Xmas to me otherwise, and, eventually, they all came around.

What I didn't realize, until I was listening to Dennis this morning (while stuck in traffic on the Four-Oh-Farking-Five-Freeway-Farking-Farking-Farking), was just how important that tradition has become to me.

This is my 5th Xmas with Anne and the kids, and we've really established our own traditions, and tonight we'll have the mashed potatoes and turkey meatloaf, then we'll build a big old fire in the fireplace, while we drink egg nog and hot apple cider, and decorate our tree, while listening to Dr. Demento's Greatest Xmas CD.

Bring on the Jingle Dogs, dammit!

Peace

I saw this sticker today. It said, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me."

My first cynical thought was, "well, duh. everyone wants peace."

But, as the night wore on, I got to thinking about that. Of course everyone wants peace (except the military/industrial complex, but I digress). How can I make peace begin with me?

Well, I did some puzzling on that, and here's what I came up with: letting peace begin with me is pretty easy. IT begins with me when I say, "Thank you," to someone. It begins with me when I let a car in front of me in rush hour traffic. It begins with me when I take a chance talking to WFS. Peace can begin with all of us, and, cumulatively, we can and will make a difference.

Think about it.

Think back to the last time someone you didn't know did something nice to you. That good feeling stayed with you for hours, maybe even days, didn't it? You can't help but spread that feeling to the people around you, and they to those around them, and so on.

I got all bent out of shape about the person who put me on all those mailing lists. I got really angry. I'm pretty sure that whomever did it is coming here to see what I'll do about it, and I played right into his hands.

So, I'll let peace begin with me. Fark it. There's worse things in the world than this.

Peace?

Yesterday, I wrote something about Peace, and I made an offhand comment about how everyone wants Peace, except the military/industrial complex.

I didn't think much of it, since I'm always making stupid, throw away remarks, in conversation and in my writings.

Well, I got this email, and it's made me think about it a bit more deeply:

Interesting comment on your website:
"Of course everyone wants peace (except the military/industrial complex, but I digress)."

As an officer of 14 years in the Air Force, I would suggest to you that anyone who's been shot at in a conflict, or faced the potential for that, is pretty disposed toward wanting peace. It's not just a hypothetical concept for us, it's our work environment.

I notice that you consider talking to William Shatner as a first step toward peace. Good for you. I think people need to be a hell of a lot nicer to each other, perhaps more so to strangers because that's more unexpected and may have a longer positive effect. But that seems to be as far as you want to go. Let me point out to you some of the things that I, a member of the military/industrial complex, have done for peace:

- 4 years pulling 24-hour shifts in an ICBM launch control center during the final years of the Cold War

- another 4 years at the Air Force Academy, teaching cadets about how the military works in concert with (and, preferably, defers to) diplomatic, economic, and informational means of national influence

- deploying to Macedonia, being forced to wear civilian clothes and have a bodyguard due to terrorist threats, so I can help them develop a military that works under the control of a democratically-elected government, rather than a military that IS the government

- returning to Macedonia and donning a baby-blue beret as a UN peacekeeper so a war in neighboring countries wouldn't spread into a nation that was just starting to make it

- sewing a NATO patch to my uniform and deploying to Bosnia to keep the locals from killing each other long enough to get their economy started so they might see the benefits of peace over war

- parking myself in a little cubicle in Alabama for 2 years developing plans for responding to terrorism, plans the existence of which I had hoped would deter a terrorist from attacking

- attending funerals at Arlington Cemetery for my former Academy students who have died in the line of duty

- serving as an active member of the ACLU chapter in every state where I've been assigned and working with youth-oriented support groups

I've given up a lot to do that. I've lived in places I didn't necessarily want to live. I've taken on responsibilities most people won't accept (when you were 23, were YOU prepared to accept a job where you might have to kill millions of people? I didn't particularly want to do it, but somebody had to be prepared to, thanks to the threats to this country). I've had to keep quiet about my religious beliefs...I've accepted less pay than my peers from college. And yeah, I've been shot at.

And a lot of people in uniform have done a hell of a lot more than me.

I applaud your efforts to be nicer to people. But feel free to get down off your high horse and quit making generalizations about people of whom you know nothing. Contrary to what Charlton Heston, Barbra Streisand, or Rush Limbaugh may think, a career in the entertainment industry may give you a "bully pulpit" but it doesn't make you an expert on public policy.

Just my $.02 worth. Feel free to tell me to go [fark] myself.

Well, far from telling this writer to go fark himself, I have to apologize, and clarify.

I have always supported the members of the military, who are in the field, sometimes getting shot at, whether I agree with the war, or not. Regardless of how I feel about it, leaders are going to fight wars, and people are going to be involved in those wars. I think that I can support the men and women in the armed forces, without supporting Bush and Company.

Matter of fact, I so support the men and women in our armed forces, it really pisses me off when I see a president using them in ways that I think are inappropriate. But, this writer is correct. Being in the public eye does not make me an expert on any policies, at all...I told him in an email that I was just a guy, with a webpage, who talks about stuff that's on his mind. I never meant to be on a high horse (when I'm on a high horse, I'll make sure you know), and my generalizations were in the spirit of humor. I mean, all people who generalize are idiots, right?

So, consider this another step in letting Peace begin with me. If my comment yesterday offended anyone, please accept my deepest and most humble apologies, and please read it again, focusing on the larger message.

And let's not forget that there are people, like this writer, who are, right now, 11 days before Xmas, far from their families, and nowhere near a Dr. Demento CD and a fireplace.

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.

News

Good morning.

I'm working really hard to get MT installed, but my technical lameness is really showing, while I try to do it. :/

I have all the old GM entries, but I still can't get GM to run properly, and rebuild the files.

I tell ya what...I really hate computers these days. The time and effort that I'm having to put into this crap really isn't worth it right now, and I'm this close to just saying "screw it". I'll work on this for about one more week, and if I can't make any real progress, we're just going to have to accept blogger without comments, no soapbox, and no gallery, until at least after the first of the year. There's nothing as lovely as holiday stress compounded with website stress. Just ask my poor family.

In other, better, news, this afternoon, I'm taking Anne and the boys to see Patrick Stewart read "A Christmas Carol".

eBay for Xmas!

I've gotten lots of emails recently, asking me if I'd be able to sell any autographed pictures in time for Christmas. I really haven't been able to set up the online store, yet, so I did the next best thing: I made an eBay auction, where you can bid on an autographed picture of me, wearing the infamous Ugly Grey Spacesuit(tm), which was affectionately known as "The Iron Maiden" when I was working on Trek. The cool thing is, I can personalize it to the winner. It's tough to get personalized pictures from Trek actors these days, and I know that it's important to some collectors, and since I'll be signing this at my dining room table (I'll even include a picture of me signing it, so you know I'm not sitting in The Grotto while I'm doing it), I can write whatever you want on it. Even, "I hate Wesley" or something. :-)

I've made this a 3 day auction, so this can be sent out to the winner in time for Christmas (or Boxing day, or whatever you celebrate).

This is the first eBay auction I've ever done. If it works out, I'll put up auctions for lots of TNG stuff I have cluttering up the house, that my wife would just love for me to get rid of.

A Christmas Story

I think that A Christmas Story is the greatest Christmas movie ever made. Each year, I watch it, over and over, on TNN or TNT or TBS, or whatever T-channel does that marathon, and I never, ever, get tired of it. Every year, when I watch it, I am reminded of the time, when I was about 10 or so, that I auditioned for it. The auditions were held on a cold, rainy day in late spring, down in some casting office in Venice, I think. I saw the same kids that I always saw on auditions: Sean Astin, Keith Coogan, this kid named "Scooter" who had a weird mom, and Peter Billingsley, who was very well known at the time, because he was "Messy Marvin" in those Hershey's commercials. I sort of knew Peter, because we'd been on so many auditions together, but I was always a little star struck when I saw him. (One time, I saw Gary Coleman on an audition...now, this was HUGE for all of us kids who were there, because we're talking 1982 or 83...and he was Arnold freakin' Jackson, man...wow). [tangent] Whenever I see Sean Astin, I sob at him that he got to be in Goonies, and I didn't, and he always says, "Hey, man, you got Stand By Me. I'd trade all my movies for that." I haven't seen him since he did Lord of the Rings...but something is telling me that he wouldn't be so keen to trade that. ;-) [end of tangent]

So I remember that audition, for Christmas Story. The scenes we had to read were the one where Ralphie is telling Santa what he wants, and panics, telling Santa that a football is okay, the one where Ralphie is decoding the Little Orphan Annie message, and the one where he thinks he shot his eye out.

I don't remember much more than that, except that my dad took me on the audition, and helped me learn my lines. I can still see my dad, in all his permed, mustached, corduroy-pantsed, 1983 glory, helping me understand how badly Ralphie wanted that BB gun. It's a really happy memory, because my dad and I didn't do too many things together when I was a kid, and I always loved it when he'd take me on an audition. [tangent] Once, I had an audition for Frosted Flakes, and, this I will never forget, my dad took me to the call, over on Sunset near Gower, and there were tons of kids, running around (yes, Scooter and his weird mom, who wore a wig and low-cut evening gowns to auditions in the afternoons, were there). My dad was helping me learn my copy, which had something to do with me and Tony The Tiger sitting on an airplane together. My dad told me that when I was done with my reading, that I should "tag" my audition, by saying something funny or memorable...he suggested that I point to my orange (well, more like raw umber) Le Tigre shirt, and ask Tony, "How'd you get off my shirt!?" I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever heard, and I raced through the reading, just so I could give up the funny. I don't recall if they laughed or not, but I sure did. It was just cool to be there with my dad.[end of tangent]

So, if you haven't seen this movie, you really must. At the very least, rent it, and enjoy the performance of Scottie "I left the industry to do porn" Schwartz as Flick. (I can tease Scott, because I sort of know him, too.)

A Christmas Carol

Boy, if you live anywhere near New York, you simply must go see Patrick's performance of "A Christmas Carol" when he brings it there. I think he starts on the 24th, for 8 performances, all for charity.

Anne and I took the kids to see it on Sunday, because Patrick gave us tickets. We got to sit in the fifth row! It's the closest I've ever been to the stage all the times I've seen it, and it was really amazing to watch the sublteties in his characterizations. I saw stuff that I've never seen before.

You know, I was at the very first performance of this, way back in 1988 or 89, at the Wadsworth theatre near UCLA. I went with most of the cast, on a freezing cold, rainy December afternoon, and sat in a theatre, more empty than full, where the heater did not work, and just marveled at what Patrick could do. He was still mostly on book back then, but he was still amazing. It's been so exciting for me to watch the evolution of this work, because I feel like I was there at the very beginning...well, I guess I was there at the very beginning...but you get the idea.

I got to take Anne and the kids backstage to meet him, which was really kind of odd...there were all these people, excited to meet him, waiting in a long line...it just struck me as so odd that I was waiting in a line to see one of my friends...but I didn't mind, in the least. When we did get into the Green Room, Patrick was talking to everyone, and, I swear, each person he talked to was made to feel like they were the only ones there, including me and my family. It was really, really cool.

A Christmas Auction

Boy, the eBay auction has drawn much more attention than I thought it would. As of the last check, 2735 people had viewed it, and the bidding was up to $132.50! I've gotten lots of requests, in email, for more auctions, so I'll put up a picture from Stand By Me later today. Thank you to everyone who is interested...watching the bidding is really exciting for me, in a totally dorky way. :-)

A Christmas Miracle

Finally, loren got MT and GM working last night, so I'm awaiting help from the GM gurus to get my old entries recovered. I'm really excited to bring all the old entries back. There are stories in there that I really like, and stuff that I'm really proud of, and I'm very hopeful that we'll get it back. I tell you, it's been so damn frustrating, the past week or so, trying to get this stuff working, and not being able to figure it out...I finally broke down and asked for help. Yep, you read that correctly, Mr. "I have to do it myself, give me the scalpel so I can remove this lesion from my face" asked for help.

Thank you, Loren. I mean it. :-)

eBay for Xmas, Part Deux!

Well, the success of my first eBay auction is really exciting, and totally unexpected!

Many, many people have emailed me, asking if I'll be doing another one, and if I'll be putting up anything from "Stand By Me", so I've gone ahead and put up two more:

This one is of me and River, behind the Blue Point Diner, right after I've shot the trash can. It's one of my favorite stills from the movie.

This one is of just me, looking sad and doe-like, wistfully wondering what life is like across that trestle...o(r looking towards the grip truck while the photographer says, "Beautiful, babe! Keep looking off that way! Oh, you're amazing, baby! We love it! love it!" I can't remember which.) :-)

Did some holiday shopping for the kids today, and remembered why I always promise myself that I'm going to have my Christmas shopping completed by May, each year.

Push, shove, complain, argue, repeat.

Santa Claus is back in town

Boy, my auctions are going really well! I'm sure that regular readers are getting a little tired of hearing about them, so I'll just point you to the totally lame "about me" page I made...boy, it took me back to the old Pagemaker days, I tell you what!

While I was waiting for my eBay stuff to process, I headed over to Slashdot, to see what was up in the world of "news for nerds, stuff that matters", and, while I was being a wiseass, I saw this story, about the new Joss Whedon show, which he is calling "The anti-trek". It sounds awesome to me, and I put in a call to my agent, and he is going to call Joss Whedon's people, and see if we can't set up a meeting...how cool would it be if I were to play a bad guy, on a SF show?

When I talked to my agent today, he told me that we're just finishing up the details for me to narrate the A&E Biography of River Phoenix. I'm really looking forward to that. It's about damn time someone did River's story in a non-exploitive way. He was an amazing person, and this will be a great way for me to honor his memory.

Pretty damn cool, baby. Pretty. Damn. Cool.

Anne, the boys, and I are doing massive Christmas baking tonight...it's one of my favorite things to do during the holidays...fire up a little Elvis' Christmas album in the old CD player, put a fire in the fireplace, drink some hot apple cider, and make the whole house smell good.

It certainly beats the hell out of shopping, that's for sure!

Speaking of Christmas, watch this space for the exciting, Radio Free Burrito XXXmas Extravaganza show!

RFB

I'm warming up for a supercool Radio Free Burrito Xmas show, so the RFB is streamin' today. Check out the mix, and let me know what you think: radio@wilwheaton.net

I am Jack's Holiday Program

I just got back from watching Nolan's holiday program at his school.

Nolan is in 5th grade this year, so it's the last elementary school holiday program I'll see for quite some time.

Well, I guess I could just go hang out there, like that guy who graduated in 1995, but still hangs out on the football field at the high school...c'mon, you know him...but that'd just be lame.

Anne and I were actually very excited to see the program this year, and I felt badly for all the years I sat there for an hour, enjoying it when it was one of my step-kids up there, but really just wanting it to be over...so let this be a lesson to all of you who are the parents of a 3rd grader: You only get 2 more of these, and you'll miss them when they're gone...so enjoy it.

So I'm watching today's show with a certain sadness, but excitement, because I love to watch my boys do things like this, so I'm even more hyper-aware than I usually am about the awful behavior of the people around me. (Oh, yeah. You don't want to see a movie, play, or performance with me. I'm that guy who gets super pissed at the people who talk, or leave their cell phones on, or eat that popcorn with their mouths wide open...I have actually gotten so pissed in theatres, that I've left the movie, gotten my money back, and waited for the damn thing to come out on DVD, so I can watch it alone. Dammit.)

The cafetorium at the school is filled to overflowing, and it's 50 degrees today in LA, so everyone is bundled up in their finest parkas, taking up twice as much area as they normally would, and the place is just, well, stinky. Imagine a subway in winter, during evening rush, and add to that the smell that is unique to an elementary school...and you've got it. Anne got there before me, and staked out a good seat, because every year, we end up getting there right as it starts, and standing in the back, with all of the other parents who overslept, or took too long for breakfast, or who had to grab a quickie once the kids were at school.

Anne got really good seats, as far as being able to see the stage goes...but as far as people you're sitting by? Not so good. In the running for most annoying audience member are the woman sitting next to me, who kept loudly farting (really awful, stinky ones, that just linger...but they sounded good, reverberating off the metal cafeteria chairs), the two little kids sitting behind us, to the right, who did not stop talking the entire time, except when their mother told them that a good way to stay occupied would be to stand on the floor and bang on their chairs in time to the music, and the kid immediately behind me, who had one of those little kid colds, and coughed and sneezed throughout the whole performance. I especially loved it when he sneezed all over the back of my neck, and his mother didn't even make a showing of apologizing, or offering something to wipe it off...so I used my sleeve. Nice.

All of the classes were great, and the kids were just adorable. The theme this year was Peace and Diversity, which is very funny, considering that I live in the most reactionary, demagogic Republican area in the freakin' world. (All of my neighbors had those offensive "Protect Marriage" signs last year, when the homophobes were trying to make it certain that marriage should only be between men and women. Because those marriages always succeed. And we have to keep the gays from soiling that sacred, unspoiled institution, right?) Sorry. mini-rant. I'm back now.

My absolute favorite moment was when these kids were reading poems about winter. I think they were 4th graders, maybe 3rd graders. Anyway, there are 4 kids up there, all in their holiday finest, reading poems, like "The Snowman" by Shel Silverstein. The last kid, who looks a lot like Dewey from "Malcolm in the Middle", and is wearing a checkered shirt and non-matching clip-on tie (it was so damn cute, I couldn't stand it), and he recites, from memory, a poem by elementary school staple Jack Prelutsky. No small feat for a 3rd of 4th grader, okay? This kid does a great job. I mean, it's really, really good, and he is doing it from memory. When he's done, he looks towards where I guess his family is sitting, and he shrugs, like, "Well, that's about as good as it gets", and picks his nose and eats it.

It was awesome. I realized this morning how much I'm going to miss these things, and I got to enjoy farts, sneezes, metal-chair-drums, and the nose-picking kid.

All is right with the world.

Movin' The Burrito

Extra special thanks to the cool cats at Shoutcast!!

Live365 was skipping, and sucking, and all that junk, so I've moved the RFB.

The new HI-FI stream is here.
The new LO-Fi stream is here.

The RFB page hasn't been updated, yet, so use these links right now, if ya don't mind. Also, you can search for "Burrito" at Shoutcast, and see what song is currently playing...very, very cool, indeed.

One down, two to go...

The first auction has ended! I'll write all about my experiences with it just as soon as the transaction is completed.

I hope everyone is having a great night!

Stormy Weather

Wow. We are in the midst of a HUGE thunderstorm tonight. Massive thunder and lightning, rain pouring down so hard the gutters are overflowing...(I really need to clean those out...my friend Darin saw grass growing out of one of them a few days ago)

So it's been a busy night...I made 6 dozen cookies, and painted a ton of Christmas ornaments, because every year, Anne and I paint an ornament, date it, and give it to our friends and family. We've done wooden snowmen, trains, jack-n-the-boxes, and stuff. I won't say what we're doing this year, because my friends and family come and read this website. (My friend Seth, who directed the recently-selected-for-a-pretty-big-deal-film-festival-in-France "The Good Things" said to me yesterday, "I don't need to ever talk to you anymore. I just read about your life on your website." Well, Seth, just so you know, I don't talk about everything here, so you should still call, and occasionally take me out for a Guinness.)

While waiting for things to bake and whatnot, I also managed to move the RFB, mess up the stream, fix the stream, and I think I've messed it up again. Fear not, however! I have the help of the intrepid guys (well, one of them who doesn't mind my lameness) at Shoutcast, who's offered to help me out.

I've also written another story for BBSpot, and made one last eBay auction. I got TONS of emails asking for more Star Trek stuff, so I put up one more picture. This auctioning thing is working out really well...I'll be sure to put more stuff up as I find it, when I'm cleaning out my garage next week.

I think that's all for tonight. I'm going to go finish painting, and hit the sack. Have a great night, everybody.

Boot to the Head

Wow. Can you believe that there's just 3 days until Christmas? Anne and I are going absolutely crazy, trying to get all the holiday baking and shopping finished, wrapping all the presents, and stuff. It totally sucks, but we have so much stuff to do, we can't go to any of this weekend's holiday parties.

I was up until 3 this morning, painting ornaments, and cleaning up the kitchen, and I came across one of the greatest comedy albums of all time: The Frantics' Boot to the Head. I had this album when I was in 9th grade, and my friend Ryan and I would listen to it constantly. We were always quoting "Boot to the Head" and "Driving Chicks Mad" and "I Shit a Piece of Pie"...you know how annoying 14 year old boys are? So we were like that, but multiplied times being dorks, and comedy album weenies. We were such complete dorks, that, get this...Ryan's mom had a drill team, and we never scored. I mean, we were constantly surrounded by athletic girls in spandex, who were doing the splits, and we never even got to first base. It's amazing that we ever talked to any girls, at all. Even more amazing that we now have beautiful wives and families.

So when I finally went to bed this morning, I'd left a plate out with some paint on it, that'd I'd been using to mix colors for some ornaments. When I came out to the living room this morning, there were all these little red kitty prints all over my dining room table (where I'll be signing those eBay pictures...), and all over my kitchen floor and counters. Okay, Felix? Bad kitty. My house looks like an Urban Legend..."The Ghostly Cat" or something.

Oh, speaking of auctions, there are two ending in about 2 hours (here and here), and I won't be home to send the immediate "congratulations" email, because I am going out to visit my gandma for a few hours. So if you're the winner, don't worry. I'll get in touch with you tonight. :)

So that's it, for now. I really have to get back to painting, baking, doing the laundry, and mailing out the Christmas cards. I am, without a doubt, the world's biggest procrastinator.

There is a very good chance that I won't have much time to update until after Tuesday(unless I find some time to do an RFB Holiday show), so, I would like to wish all of the readers of WWDN a very, very, Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukah, or a Happy Yule, or Solstice.

I wish you all the most wonderful New Year, and thank you all for your support since I launched this lame website back in Summer, and I hope that you'll continue to stop by and see what's up.

Be nice to someone, and call your mom. She's worried about you.

Feliz Navidad

Happy Christmas, everybody!!

If you have children around, you should track Santa, and then you should tune in "A Christmas Story" on TNT.

Roast Beast

Finally recovered from Christmas. I've never eaten so much in my life. In fact, I ate so much at all three holiday meals, I never had room for pie...until the final dinner, last night. Then I gorged myself on punkin pie.

mmmmmm pie. Mgarragghhhhhhhhh.

Anyway, I am so glad that Christmas is over. It was a very stressfull one this year. But I did something that I've never done before: Anne and I replaced our normal, 17 to 25 member Christmas Eve dinner with a "just the 4 of us, plus two friends" dinner. We had our friends Mykal and Kevin over, because they didn't have anywhere to go...so we told them they could come to our "dinner of misfit toys". It was wonderful. We didn't have to worry about putting on certain airs for not-so-pleasant relatives who we'd rather not invite, or deal with bratty kids who ruin our carpets and chase our dog. It was just the four of us, and our two friends. I think that's going to be the theme for every Christmas to come.

We'd told the kids that they couldn't wake us up until at least 6:00 on Christmas morning...Nolan was standing next to our bed at 5:59! Anne told him to give us a second, and then fell back asleep. It was 6:12 on the clock when Nolan came back in, helpfully prodding Anne's head, telling her, "Mom! I think you fell back asleep! C'mon! There's presents!"

So we got up, and enjoyed the wonder that is children on Christmas morning. Christmas this year was very light. Anne and I haven't worked a whole bunch this year (thank you very much, runaway production), and we had decided that we'd give gifts only to the kids, and not to each other (although I did manage to sneak her a card, and she snuck me some boxers ). It was so cool. Because it was sort of a "light" Christmas, the boys really enjoyed everything that they got. Nolan got a new CD player, Ryan got a Toy Machine skateboard, and they both got Tony Hawk 3 to share. Oh, and Anne and the boys all got me a bonsai tree and Zen meditation rock garden, which I've put right next to my computer, with the fountain Anne gave me last year. When I switch over to MT, I'll post a picture of it. It's really nice.

We all ate breakfast, where I managed to not burn the cinnamon rolls for the first time in years, and then went up to my parent's house for more festivities. It's always great to see my parents and siblings on Christmas. When we all get together, we're all kids again. My brother is running around, barely able to contain himself, my sister is carefully evading the teasing of Jeremy and me, and my parents are struggling to keep order over the whole thing. I just love it. We exchanged gifts, Anne and I dropped the kids off with their dad, and awaited dinner.

I wrote about this earlier, about how badly I wanted a tradtional Christmas dinner, and how badly I had to fight for it, and it was totally worth it, even if Anne and I were falling asleep at the dinner table. We went to sleep at 9:30 that night.

On Boxing Day, we had Anne's brother and sister-in-law over, with their friend (another misfit toy. I'm beginning to really like this idea) and my neice and nephew, who I absolutely adore. They are 3 1/2 and 2, and so wonderful. I had this conversation with my nephew:

Him: Who's that?
Me: That's Ferris.
Him: Who's that?
Me: Ferris is my dog.
Him: Why?
Me: Well, we found her. Want to pet her?
Him: Why?
Me: Because I think she likes you.
Him: Why?
Me: Beacause you're nice!
Him: I'm [his name]!

I just love the two of them, and I don't see them nearly enough. My brother in law is coming over to help me fix some sprinklers, because nearly all of my grass is dead, and my lawns (front and back) look like Eastern Europe. I hope he brings the kids.

The One Ring

Tonight we saw "Lord of the Rings". I'm not going to deconstruct it, because that's been done better, elsewhere...but I am going to say, "Best. Movie. EVER!"

If Trek X is half as cool as LOTR, I'll be happy.

Going once...SOLD!

I won an eBay auction tonight! My first! I'll be putting more stuff up this week. I just found a Star Trek lunchbox, with the thermos, that's got me on it! COOL!

Happy day after the day after Christmas, everyone. :)

2001

I can't believe that this year is already over.

I also can't believe that I haven't written a thing since the 27th!

Well, I'm glad I took the little break. I've been spending the last few days with just my family, uninterrupted by computers, TV, the phone, and all that...and it's been really nice. If you can remove all outside distractions and just hang with your family, or your significant other, I highly suggest it.

Yesterday, we took the kids and two of their friends to this local skatepark, where Ryan tried out his new skateboard, and Nolan proved again that there is nothing he can not do, when he just tries. I swear, this kid is amazing. All he has to do is put the slightest effort into something, and it's like he's been doing it for years. Soccer, complicated math, baseball, Tony Hawk 3, whatever it is...Nolan is just amazing that way.

I told him that he should try to jump this table-top, and he says, "okay", and just fearlessly goes for it. He bails, hard, three or four times, but he keeps at it, and the rest of the day, he looked like the X-Games. For reals.

I guess the lesson there is that you can do just about anything, as long as you do it fearlessly and

[complete tangent: the stealth bomber just flew over my house. for reals. crazy.]

Okay, so the lesson is, you can do anything you want to, as long as you do it fearlessly and commit to it 100%.

So that's my lesson for the end of the year, and my wisdom for the new year.

I had so much more to say, but I would rather we all think about that, so I'll sign off now.

Have a happy New Year, everyone, be safe, and I'll see you all in 2002.

One more thing

I really thought my last post would be my last post for 2001...but I just got off the phone with my mom, and I'm gonna get on a soapbox for a second.

My dad is a perfusionist. That means that he runs a heart lung machine during open heart surgery. Basically, when someone is having their heart operated on, my dad keeps them alive, running the machine that performs the function of their heart and lungs. My dad also helped pioneer this process called ECMO, which is extended heart bypass for newborn babies who have heart defects. ECMO has saved countlless lives since they invented it, and I'm really proud of my dad, and all that he's done.

Ever since I can remember, my dad has been on call during the holidays. Before this year, I can't remember the last time he wasn't, and he gets called into the hospital every Christmas. This used to bother me, because I wanted to spend the time with my dad, until I thought, when I was about 15 or so, that while I was upset that my dad was not at home, he wasn't at home because there was some other family who was hoping that their dad, or mom, or whomever was not going to die. Perspective is important, you know.

So here's what my mom told me: My dad got called into the hospital at 3AM, for an emergency trauma surgery. One more note: my dad is one of the best and most respected perfusionists in the world, especially in California. He's so respected and so good, that when George Bush the first was having all his heart trouble and came to Los Angeles, my dad was hand-picked to be on standby the whole time Bush was here, just in case. If you're going to have heart surgery, you want my dad on the open heart team, is what I'm saying.

So he's called in at 3AM, because there is an emergency.
This man and woman had taken their son and daughter to see a movie. On the way home, they were hit by a drunk driver. Their daughter was instantly killed, and my dad was called in because their son had massive internal injuries, and I guess he needed open heart surgery. I'm not sure what happened to the parents, but I do know that the drunk driver who murdered their daughter survived without a scratch, and was fortunately caught by the police.

I want you all to listen, now, and please think about this: life can change in an instant. One moment, you're driving along, singing with the radio, or arguing about the movie you just saw, or simply sitting in silence, and the next moment your daughter is dead. Forever. Your son is clinging to life in a hospital, and you and your wife are never giong to be able to have a Christmas or New Year's with both of them again.

I'm sure this happens all the time, because that's what happens in life.

But this family has been torn apart because some stupid fucker had to drink and drive.

We all know that people do it. Maybe you've done it once or twice, and you've gotten away with it.

We've all heard the "don't drink and drive" message so much that it blends into the background noise of our lives...and here is my wish: please listen to it this time. Please, if you or someone you know is planning to go out and party like it's...well, not 1999...but you get the idea...please think of this family, and think of the loss of their child, and how preventable that loss was. Please don't drink and drive, and please stop your friends from drinking and driving.

I know this sounds like a silly PSA, but I really do mean it. Thanks for indulging me.

Have a happy new year, everyone!