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You know how you make all these plans, and then that pesky Real Life gets all busy, and you have to put those plans on hold?

It's like that.

The Type Ahead Find

Is anybody else using the newest version of Mozilla?

I installed 1.2a last week, thinking that I'd play with it a little here and there, but it's quickly replaced galeon as my browser of choice. Now, don't get me wrong. Galeon is a fine browser. It's a fine browser, Stuart, does lots of spiffy things, but it doesn't have the type ahead find, Stuart.

You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that does the backend for that other website? He's a foreign kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.

Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl. Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick! Everybody knows the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you
think a kid like that is going to know about the type ahead find?

You know what, Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people, here on the Internet.

Everybody wants some

If you haven't wasted half a day at the Wikipedia, you haven't wasted half a day.

It's a cool idea: make a HUGE online encyclopedia, sort of like E2, and K5.

I really like this idea of letting anyone contribute or modify information about, well, anything. It'll be interesting to see if the goddamn trolls can get past what my friend Eric calls "the basic human desire to destroy" and let this project flourish.

I won't have time to update again until the end of the weekend, so I here's wishing everyone a good one. Just remember to keep your hands and arms inside the mixer at all times.

I walk the thinnest line.

Penguin Time

Penguin Time...it's like Goonie Time, but without the pirate ship and the Truffle Shuffle.

When I made the switch to Linux last month, I said that I hoped to someday become the world's number one Linux cheerleader. This was sort of misquoted, and I've read in numerous places that I proclaimed myself "The world's number one Linux cheerleader," which has caused me a little bit of grief...I mean, I can't consider myself the world's number 6000 Linux cheerleader if I haven't even recompiled a kernel yet, or built a LAN...but I'm working on it. =]

Anyway, I'm going to spend a little time this morning cheerlead^H^H^H^H^H^H^H talking about my adventures in Linux, thus far, so if you're here for the nude pictures, you should head elsewhere today.

When I made the switch to Linux about a month ago, I knew that I was entering a Brave New World, and I did it with a little bit of trepidation, but a great sense of excitement, as well. As I wrote back then, "The Open Source movement really appeals to my anarchistic and individualistic tendencies, and everyone I know who uses Linux tells me that I won't miss Windows at all. I don't really use any software that's windows-specific, except Dreamweaver, and I'm told that I can run that under WINE, or find a comparable OS editor."

Since then, I've discovered both the Quanta and Screem editors, which have shown themselves to be fine replacements for Dreamweaver, and the only time I ever miss Windows is when I get the urge to play some games...but a quick trip to the PS2 takes care of that, until I can upgrade this machine with more RAM and a big old video card so I can run WineX 2.1.

Oh, I should have warned earlier: this article will be a little propeller-headed, so if you're not into that, again, you should really go play somewhere else today.

Before I get to the details, I should address something that I think everyone who makes the switch feels: Fear.

We feel afraid, because even though we're pretty sure that everything is going to work out fine, we've existed on a steady diet of FUD for many years. Maybe we tried to install a distro a few years ago, when Linux wasn't as newbie-friendly as it is now. Maybe we're just a bunch of pussies.

I'll admit it: I was nervous.

Nervous that I was going to do this install, and my magical connection to the largest library of free porn on the planet would cease to exist. I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to use a word processor that was as reliable as MS Word had always been.

I was nervous, but also excited.

Excited that I was taking the first step towards joining a global movement based on ideals with which I strongly agreed. I was excited because I know that lots of people read this lame website, and if a lameass like me could make Linux work, that would dispell a great deal of FUD, and maybe empower some people who, like me, suspected that they could live MS-free, but weren't sure if they could hack it. ("Hack it." Har.) I was excited because I felt like I was taking a chance, accepting a risk, and anticipating great rewards.

And I had a hole-card. If I managed to completely break everything, I knew that I would be able to format the drive, reinstall the old OS, and wait for a LUG install party.

Grab a cookie...here we go!

Install
The install was shockingly simple: Open the CDROM, shut down the machine, turnthe machine back on, wait for the Mandrake screen to appear, hit return, watch the fun.

This nice, friendly, graphical install is perfect for newbies. Mandrake asked me if I wanted to use an existing partition, or wipe the whole drive. I opted to format the whole drive, let Mandrake build the partitions for me, and get on with the install. A few minutes later, I got a screen where I was asked what packages I wanted to install.

I was presented with a very easy to understand screen, where I could select options like "Game Station," "Server," "Office," and the like. I was asked if I wanted to run services like ftp, ssh, and a firewall. Finally, I was given the opportunity to choose which desktop environment I wanted. I chose both KDE and Gnome, because I knew from previous experience that there were apps from both environments that I liked.

After selecting my packages, I swapped some CDs, added some users, set some passwords, and got to the part that really had me the most afraid: configuring the network so I could get online.

The last time I tried Linux, it was Red Hat 5.2 and I was on dial-up. Getting that bastard to connect was about as easy as getting laid in a convent. There were all these config files I had to edit, and all these strange text commands I had to type in, just to get the modem to turn on...getting it to connect was another problem entirely. For someone who was coming from Windows 95, this song-and-dance to get connected was simply unacceptable, and ultimately it was the main factor which drove me back to Windows.

Boy have we come a long way, baby! Mandrake did this super-cool autodetection, where it found my NIC, used dhcp to get my IP address, and built my network connection for me. This entire process took about 3 minutes.

Somewhere in there Mandrake autodetected my printer, too. The only thing I had to tell it on my own was that my mouse had a wheel!

Finally, I got to a screen where I was asked if I wanted to check for updates to the packages I'd installed. I said "yes," and walked away to get a drink of water. When I came back a few minutes later, nothing had changed...so I sat down to play some GTA3 while it continued downloading. About 30 minutes later, nothing had changed, and my hard disk had spun down.

This wasn't a good sign. All that excitement I'd been feeling was completely overwhelmed by the nervousness I'd had, and I felt some panic beginning to rise.

I cursed, kicked, gnashed and paced.

I decided to start over, and when I got to the "do you want to upgrade?" part, I said no. The install finished perfectly this time. I restarted the machine, and was logged into Gnome in about 2 minutes.

First Time
I was immediately impressed with the spiffy desktop. It was enough like Windows to give a sense of familiarity without making me feel like I was running some oddball derivative of W2K.

I poked around the menus for a little bit, and was drawn to a menu which said, "What to do?"

What a great question! This was exactlky what I was wondering, and here was a friendly menu to help me out. It contained sub-menus like, "Enjoy Music and Video," and "Use Office Tools." There was aslo "Use the Internet," and "Administer Your System."

I thought, "Hmmm...'Administer Your System,' eh? Okay, I'll take a look."

Sitting in that menu were options like "Add or remove programs, Configure Gnome," and "Download and install Mandrake security updates."

Ah-hah! I clicked on "Download Mandrake security updates," and followed the prompts. This started a really cool "Mandrake Update" utility, which is sort of like a non-intrusive version of Windows Update. I was presented with three options: bug fixes, normal updates, and security updates. I selected all three, and clicked "install," eager to watch...the damn thing spin.

I realized that the reason the install had hung the first time was related to this spinning...the default update site wasn't responding. I guess there was no timeout set for the normal Mandrake install, which is why it hung before. Far be it from me to tell Mandrake how to do things, but this seems pretty silly to me. A simple "Site isn't available now, but here's your system anyway, Jerky." message would have been nice. Fortunately this time I was able to just cancel the connection, define a different source, and about 20 minutes later my system was up to date.

I spent the rest of the next hour or so exploring the system.

Getting Comfortable
I was eager to make the switch to Linux because mostly I use my computer for 3 things:

• Internet
  
• Email
  
• Word Processing
  

I had done lots of research about Linux, and the impression I had gotten was that if your primary computer use was for these three things, the only thing you'd miss about Windows was the daily reboot.

Let's take a look.

Internet
The browser that ships with Gnome 1.4 is called "Galeon." It's based on Gecko, from Mozilla, and it's really, really cool. I mentioned the other day that I'm using the latest Mozilla build more and more, but as soon as Galeon catches up with Moz, I'll probably be back with Galeon, for the bookmark editing alone! Although many people's experiences with Linux will surely vary, I can say without a doubt that once you use Galeon or Mozilla, you'll be stunned that you ever liked IE. The KDE desktop has it's own browser also, called Konqueror, but I really don't like it as much as I like Galeon or Mozilla...but anything is better than IE, and you can quote me on that.

Email
Back when I was new to the internet, and I was getting dial-up shell access from netcom, there wasn't such a thing as the World Wide Web, unless you were on a connection fast enough to use NCSA Mosaic. Since the 'net was just text back then, I used it for MUDding (just say no, people!) ircing (mmm...floodbots) and email. The email client I used was called PINE, and it still ships with Linux. I really liked PINE. It was easy to understand and use, even if you were a lamer like me, and I still use it from time to time today.

However, since the Internet is bigger and badder these days, people want bigger and badder email clients, and Linux is happy to oblige. When I was running Windows, I used Eudora, because I hated Outlook's interface, and I've always felt that Outlook's handling of email is secondary to it's primary purpose: spreading worms and virii. Now look, I'm not cracking on Outlook users, okay? As a matter of fact, I wrote a great new game just for Outlook users! It is my first try. I wish you would like it.

Seriously, if you like Outlook, you can use a Linux client called "Evolution" from Ximian. It has all of the things you like about Outlook, a better summary screen, and a really cool calendar. It will interface with your Pilot, and it won't spread worms and virii like Outlook. You can even set up the summary page to load headlines from WWDN, and see if I've gotten off my lazy ass to update the site recently.

Personally, I use KMail, which is part of the KDE desktop. Although I am primarily a Gnome user, KDE has numerous features I like, including the calendar, the tea-timer (a silly little applet that sits in your panel, which is the Linux equivalent of the taskbar,) and KMail. KMail is a mail client which is much lighter than Evolution. KMail looks and feels a lot like Eudora to me, handles filters the same way, and deals with different accounts and protocalls nicely.

Both solutions are very, very easy to install and configure, and if you know things like your POP server, SMTP server and stuff, it's certainly no more difficult than the other clients available for Windows or Mac.

Mozilla also has it's own email client, but I haven't used it. I'm sure that, just like everything else Mozilla does, it's really cool.

Wordprocessing
This is a place where the FUD really has a firm hold. They'd have you believe that things you author on Linux won't be readable by Word, with the converse also being true.

Well, it's simply not true. At G4, everything is written using Word. I do most of my writing from home because it's easier to concentrate in my quiet home office, and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to send files to work if I authored them under Linux. Well, I haven't had a single problem. I have written 6 episodes since making the switch, and turned in countless rewrites, and the conversion from OpenOffice to Word is seamless.

Mandrake ships with StarOffice, which is put out by Sun Microsystems. It's a very nice alternative to Word. Each time I looked, StarOffice had the familiar Word command, or it's equivalent. The only thing I had trouble with was tables. It was grumpy about having a table wrap to the next page, a problem I also encountered in OpenOffice. A few tweaks in the preferences solved this mildly annoying problem.

Having said all that about StarOffice, I don't use it. I prefer OpenOffice, from OpenOffice.org. In my experience, it loads faster than StarOffice, and I just like the interface better. It doesn't come standard with Mandrake 8.2, but it's easily downlaoded and installed, and can be set as a default word processing application with minimal effort. Update:OpenOffice.org does come with Mandrake 8.2. It didn't install as part of my default installation, or at least I didn't see it, so I assumed it wasn't there. Thank you to everyone who pointed out this amazingly lame error.

Freedom of Choice
These three examples bring up a very important distinction which sets Linux apart from Windows: You are not limited to one word processor, or one desktop environment, or a small set of applications. Linux is all about choice, and putting the power to make decisions about the computing experience into the hands of the users. If you're anything like me, you'll live the all the defaults for about 2 weeks...and then the tewaking of things will begin: the adding and removing of things from the panel...the moving of the panel...the downloading of things from freshmeat and sourceforge...and the inevitable breaking of something. Here is the only real "advice" I'm going to give the reader: If you like to mess with the nuts and bolts of your computer, and you like to try out all kinds of new programs and toys which are still technically "beta," do yourself a favor and set up a "development" box. This means investing 50 bucks or so in another drive, and putting Linux on it, and doing all of your fixing und breaking in it, while keeping your main install safe and reliable.

Day to day use
Some people will suggest new users do what's called a "dual boot" system, where you keep your Windows environment on one partition, and run your Linux partition on another. The advantage of this is that if you mess something up in Linux, you can use your Windows install to get online and get help. It also means that you can access some Windows features through Linux, which is important for some people. The disadvantage of this is that having the "crutch" of Windows will prevent many users from fully enjoying everything Linux has to offer.

When I switched, I did it 100%, and I haven't looked back since. I am really glad that I did it this way, because I've learned something new each day, and grown more secure in my abilities to administer my system. I'd suggest that, unless you're a hardcore gamer, you do the same.

Which Distro is best?
There are numerous holy wars about Gnome v. KDE, Mandrake v. Red Hat, Red Hat v. Debian, Debian v. Slackware...it goes on and on, and I won't take a side in these wars. Instead, I will say what I always say about computers: The operating system for you is the one that works best for you. If that's Windows, or Mac, or even an Atari 800, go nuts. I think that this holds true for Linux, as well. The distro which is "best" is the one that works best for you. Over time, what is "best" for you will probably change, and maybe you'll want to change your distro. Right now, I'm using Mandrake 8.2, and I'm excitedly looking forward to 9.0, which should be out very soon. Maybe someday I'll switch to something else...but that's the beauty of Linux...you get to choose for yourself what you want to use, instead of having The Borg choose for you.

Okay! I'll switch! Get off my back! Now what?
Well, for the Newbies, I suggest something with a very easy install, and good community support. I have found this in both Red Hat and Mandrake, which is not to say that it doesn't exist elsewhere. I just know about the support for Mandrake and Red Hat first hand.

Once you're up and running, join a Linux User Group, where you can get help with problems, answers to questions, and a warm fuzzy feeling that comes from being around people who are nerdier than you are. You will also learn very quickly to love the O'Reilly publishing company. Their Linux books are nothing less than required reading for getting the most out of your system.

Finally...
There is a lot of specific information I've left out here...after all, I would like to spend some of Saturday with my family...I didn't talk about games because I don't play games on this box. I didn't talk about Spreadsheets because I don't use them, either. But I know that you can do both under Linux. Try Google for some examples. There is also a really cool desktop environment which Ximian makes, built on top of Gnome. I've used it, and found it to be really, really cool.

I have had a few problems, which I try to view as challenges. Most notably, I couldn't get audio to work on this machine...but a quick call for help online yielded the answer to the challenge in about 15 minutes. I currently can't get this box to see my router, but I'm closing in on a solution to that problem daily.

One of us
I will close with what I think is the best benefit from running Linux: when you run Linux, you join a community which is global, and ever-growing. This community is self-sustaining, nurturing, and always welcoming in new members. How much you get out of this community depends on how much you put into it, and it is very rewarding, indeed.

Come on in...there's always room for one more.

Thirsty?

Been a hectic morning. Cool story coming later today, I promise.

Inferno

I had an audition for "John Doe" this morning.

I watched it over the weekend, and thought it was pretty good. There were some things that I thought were very "pilot heavy," but other than that, I think the show has great potential...sort of a Bourne Identity meets Millennium, meets Girls Gone Wild.

A brief explaination of "pilot heavy" is in order: When a series creator wants to sell his or her idea to a network, after all the scripts are approved, and the casting is done, the creator shoots what is called a "pilot." In the pilot, the creator has to show the network more or less what they're going to do over the years of the series, and introduce them to the main cast, as well as to the viewing audience. Because of these necessities, pilots can be a little heavy on the talking and exposition, and the explosions and stuff.

So I thought it was a little "pilot heavy," but not bad at all. I don't think anyone should ever judge a series by it's pilot.

So I'm a little excited about this audition, because I like the show, and I haven't had an audition in several weeks.

Funny aside: at an audition I had a few weeks ago, I walked in, and the receptionist comes over to me and says, "You're Wil Wheaton, right?" I told her that I was, and she replied to me, excitedly, "I LOVE YOUR WEBSITE!"

Okay, I thought that was really cool. =]

Anyway, there's this massive brushfire burning near my house, and the resulting cloud of smoke is thousands of milles thick, and hovering over my house, so when I walked out to my car, it was covered in ash, and the sun was casting this spooky blood red haze down on everything. My lawn is completely dead, so it was sort of orange...wish I'd taken a picture of it, but I didn't.

So I head over to the audition, which is to play a character called "Elvis", who is described thusly:
"a wild-eyed genius with an IQ that's over 160...a former "Doogie Howser" with a brilliant mind and questionable social skills. The youthful chief of neurosurgery at a Seattle hospital..."

Sound familiar? He's sort of halfway between Wesley and the guy I played on Invisible Man, so it's not a lot of work to prepare the audition...I even get some technobabble...albeit medical terminology, which is a little bit easier to remember.

I get to the audition early, and as I'm walking up the stairs, I am passed by this AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL GIRL, who is clearly reading for the part of the AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL GIRL...I shit you not, she is even wearing a red dress.

As she passes me, I am engulfed in the intoxicating sent of her perfume, and I am hit full in the face with a hypernostalgic memory from when I was about 15...

I'm with my best friend Darin. We've just seen a movie in Burbank, and we're driving back to his house. We could take the freeway, and be there in about 15 minutes, but we choose to take a more circuitous surface street route, knowing that it will allow us to stay out longer.

We're listening to "The Queen is Dead" as we pull through the curves of this particular street, talking about girls, comics, Nintendo, and debating the me. We stop at a light, and a two girls pull up next to us. I look over, notice that they're insanely hot, and begin to get nervous. At 15, I'm convinced that any girl I see is a potential trip to at second base...though I've never even been to first base, or really had a real at bat, yet.

Darin looks over, and says, "Hey! That's Misty!"

"What?"

"That's Misty! I know her from school."

Darin waves to her, and we all get out of our cars, leaving them idling in the middle of the street, in the middle of the night. Over the next few months, and even now, that simple act of standing in the middle of the steet would bring me incredible satisfaction.

Darin introduces me to her, and she is very, very nice to me. I am immediately drawn to her. She is about my height, with lots of thick blonde hair and bright green eyes that stand out from her face in the La Crescenta night. She is funny, and engaging, and our conversation is easy and effortless. She is also wearing this amazing perfume, that gives me goosebumps...I realize with some embarassment that I have been inhaling deeply through my nose, while she talks, drinking her in.

We talk for a long time, Darin and I carefully avoiding topics like the ones we've been discussing in the car. Though we are nerds, we know that Cthulhu is just not discussed in the presence of potential foolin' around.

A few cars pull up behind us, and we wave them around, as we stand there in the middle of the street, in the middle of the night, enjoying the freedom of being away from our parent's ever-watchful eyes, talking to a beautiful girl while Morrissey entreats an anonymous driver to "take me out, tonight...take me anywhere I don't care I don't care..."

Eventually, that time comes when we have to get home, and she has to leave as well. We begin the awkward process of saying goodbye, and I try to screw up the courage to ask Misty for her phone number. We stand there a little too long, me fumbling with my words, and she asks, "Would you like to go out sometime?"

I unsuccesfully try to act nonchalant and my voice breaks as I reply, "Sure!"

She writes her number down on a 3x5 card...which I provide to her from within my Car Wars Deluxe Edition box set. She writes her name and number on the card, and before she delivers it into my sweaty hand, she takes a bottle of perfume from within her purse, and sprays the card.

"So you won't forget me," she said.

Yeah, like there is any chance of that happening.

I put the card back into my Car Wars Box, and we all get back into our cars, still idling in the middle of the street, in the middle of the night.

Darin and I drive back to his house in an electrified, excited, stunned silence.

I have gotten a phone number from a beautiful blonde, without even asking.

Though I kept that card in that box for years... I never got the courage to call her. I don't know why, really...I know I was super geeky and afraid that she'd want to make out, or something, and I wouldn't know what to do (I should be so lucky)...maybe I was content to sit in the safety of my garage, listening to Oingo Boingo, happily considering what could be...maybe I was just a lameass who didn't know what to do when the golden prize landed in his lap.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the last one.

After my audition today, as I was driving home into this great ominous cloud of thick grey smoke, I thought about that night, and the months that surrounded it. I thought about the way her perfume still permeates my Car Wars Deluxe Edition Box Set, and the times I'd play Car Wars in my dressing room with my friend Caius, when I was working on TNG.

I remembered how cool I thought it was to be on Trek back then, and how much fun it was to be part of something that I knew was great. It was wonderful to be part of something that made me feel proud. I feel that same way about WWDN. I feel proud of this stupid website, and the chance it's given me to find my Voice...I feel proud that even though the source is clunky and I really need to redo everything now that I know what I'm doing, this lame website is mine, for better or for worse.

As I drove home, I looked to my right, at the bright blue September sky over Downtown, and off to my left at the growing cloud of smoke swrling around the mountains, and wondered whatever happened to Misty, who signed her name with a heart over the i. I wondered if she remembers standing in the middle of that road, in the middle of the night, fifteen years ago. I wondered what that amazingly beautiful girl in the red dress would say if she knew that the smell of her perfume had put me in a time machine.

The fire burned hotter, out of control.

Is this?

The 15th Anniversary Celebration of TNG was just wonderful today.

I had my talk this afternoon, and though I started out slowly, I warmed up, and eventually left feeling very satisfied. I asked many people in the house how they thought I'd done, and they were all very complimentary.

Then I watched Patrick, who I have never seen onstage...holy shit. If you get a chance to see Patrick, RUN THERE.

I hung out for the bulk of the day, signing stuff for people and visiting with some really cool WWDN readers, one of whom gave me the gift of "The Wesley Dialogues" printed and bound into a little book...it was so freaking cool, I can't even tell you.

Speaking of books, the week has been very light on entries because I'm nearly finished with mine.

Remember how so many readers have been telling me to write a book? Well, I listened. Watch this space for details on how you can get it in about a week or so, maybe two. Know what's in it? The end of SpongBob Vega$ Pants, baby!

Tonight, I took the manuscript with me, and I read selections from it for a large crowd, who really seemed to be "with me" for most of it. Having an audience "with me" rather than pissing them off of boring them is always a good thing, and I left tonight feeling really happy. My mom was in the house and she came up to me after the show, crying, telling me how good I was, and what a great writer I have become. Yeah, she's my mom so she isn't the most objective person in the world, but making my mom proud is also always a good thing.

I read some entries from the old WWDN, like The Trade, Hooters, Fireworks, and The Wesley Dialogues, along with a new story called "Hooters Revisited," which will end the book.

I am really excited, guys. For the first time in ages I look forward to each day, and I feel like I'm doing something which really makes me happy.

There was one thing which bothered me, though...this guy was talking to me about how much he admired my guts for putting my life out there, and while I was talking with him, my friend Keith came over, and I got distracted, and when I turned back around, this cool guy was walking away. I bet he felt like I totally blew him off, which is making me feel really bad. If you're reading this, I'm sorry, man.

I'll be back at the con for a few hours in the morning tomorrow...I'm hoping that hot porn star shows up again.

...Just kidding.

(well, maybe not)