WIL WHEATON dot NET: Where is my mind?

This convention is so much fun. I'm meeting people from all over the world, WWDN lurkers, and seeing some people who I only see once a year at this show.

Sadly, no pr0nstars this year. Sigh.

Yesterday afternoon, I read from Just A Geek and Dancing Barefoot, to a fully-packed house. There were even people standing in the back! It went very well, and I sold out of the 30 copies of Dancing Barefoot that I had in about 10 minutes. Funtimes.

Last night, our improv show was a huge success. My favorite moment? When I got to play Evil Wesley Crusher (complete with beard) and Good Wesley Crusher, in The Lost Episode of Next Generation, which was a musical. I defeated myself by shouting "Shut up, Wesley!" over and over again.

Well, I guess you had to be there. But it was really fun.

When I got home, there were several e-mails from people who had seen it, telling me what a great time they had. It was such a hit, I think there's a good chance Earnest Borg9 will be taking this show on the road soon.

There's so much to report from this weekend, but I have to go back to the show now. I'll update it all when I get a chance.

Posted by Wil at 12:26 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

On Saturday night, a few members of my sketch comedy troupe "Earnest Borg9" will perform an improv show at the Creation Grand Slam convention. We will be playing SciFi-oriented games, and we will improvise the Lost Episode of The Next Generation, based on the audience's suggestions. There are even a few games where a couple of audience members can join us on stage and be part of the fun.

Holy crap, man. I am so excited!

Unlike sketch comedy, where we have to rehearse like crazy to present a tight show, improvisors can all "work out" a few times together, and know that when we perform for a real audience, the show will be great. Even though we're making everything up as we go along, I always feel less pressure for an improv show than I do for a sketch show. Weird.

This week, we've had a a couple of meetings. We've worked out the structure we're going to use on Saturday, decided what we'll wear, and found out that we all hate the game "World's Worst." (Mostly because we all suck at it, but don't tell anyone that, okay?)

Last night, however, I began to have some doubts. I wondered if it was even appropriate to perform comedy at all, considering how effed up the whole world is right now.

I think it is.

When I got in my car after our meeting on Tuesday night, I realized that for the two hours we worked out, I didn't think about war, or death, or pain, or suffering, or anything like that. I had fun, I laughed so hard I had to beg Kurt to stop doing his "Scotty," and I left feeling energized.

If you can make it out to a show -- any show -- I say go for it. It's good to laugh right now.

UPDATE: Wendy, a fellow performer and WWDN reader, sent this in:

Hey, Wil.

I've performed live theatre in wartime before, and I thought I should share
the experience. I, too, questioned the ethics of performing a frivolous work
while our world was being put through a blender. but it was too late to turn
back, and I learned a valuable lesson.

The audience will come to see you because they *need* you. There has to be a
release for them, whether it's on a subconscious level, or if they are just
craving an escape from CNN. This is the entire reason performing arts are
still around after all these centuries of violence and hatred.

We all have that need for hope; for a phoenix to rise from the ashes. Comedy
in times of tragedy reminds us of that. Sometimes the audience reaction will
not be exactly what you expect; when you pull a laugh from them, you might
get tears, too; but your audience will still be glad they came.

My two cents; enjoy your show!

Wendy

I haven't thought about an audience "needing" the performers. It's nice to think of this silly thing we do as something that helps people get through a difficult time.

Posted by Wil at 01:06 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Found at CNN:

"F___ Saddam. we're taking him out." Those were the words of President George W. Bush, who had poked his head into the office of National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice.

It was March 2002, and Rice was meeting with three U.S. Senators, discussing how to deal with Iraq through the United Nations, or perhaps in a coalition with America's Middle East allies. Bush wasn't interested. He waved his hand dismissively, recalls a participant, and neatly summed up his Iraq policy in that short phrase.

The Senators laughed uncomfortably; Rice flashed a knowing smile. The President left the room. A year later, Bush's outburst has been translated into action, as cruise missiles and smart bombs slam into Baghdad.

But the apparent simplicity of his message belies the gravity at hand. Sure, the outcome is certain: America will win the war, and Saddam will be taken out. But what is unfolding in Iraq is far bigger than regime change or even the elimination of dangerous weapons.

Posted by Wil at 10:47 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I swear, I have had this exact conversation.

Broken Newz has uncovered the uncensored, real WWdN.

And I take back everything I said about "Freedom Fries." This has reset the bar for stupidity (found at This Modern World.)

Posted by Wil at 08:35 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Check out this e-mail I just received

Friends and Concerned Americans,

Against all odds, there were enough signatures, e-mails, telegrams and phone calls within the last 24 hours to Congressman Dennis J. Kucinich of Ohio to persuade him to introduce before the House of Representatives in Washington, D.C. a little known resolution that deprives the President of his authority to wage war.

However, we must now persuade Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert that there is a growing consensus, if not a plurality, to mandate the resolution for a House ballot.

Therefore, please take a moment to e-mail Speaker Hastert by simply saying, "I am in favor of introducing HJ Resolution 20 for a vote."

Speaker Hastert's e-mail: [BALEETED]

Also please call Speaker Hastert at [DEEELEEETED]

Please do this NOW. And please forward to every other concerned citizen you know.

Sounds too good to be true, right? I'm still waiting for my 60 million dollars from Nigeria, so I was a bit skeptical.

I googled, snopes-ed, and found nothing. So I picked up the phone, and called the Congressman's office.

The woman I spoke with was very friendly and extremely helpful. She said that he was opposed to the war, mentioned to me that the Pope came out against the war today, and laughed when I said, "Well, I think everyone who is not named 'Paul Wolfowitz' is opposed to the war."

I asked her if it was true that they were getting lots of phonecalls and faxes, and she said that the office had gotten "thousands" of them, all in opposition to the war.

I then asked her if this "little-known resolution" was also true. She said she'd call his office, and call me right back to let me know if it was true or not.

While I was typing this, the phone just rang, and it was his staffer. She said that she'd spoken with the Congressman, and he knew exactly what it was. He said that this e-mail I referenced is speeding around the Internet right now.

He also said that this e-mail is false. He's not introducing anything right now. [A helpful reader, who sent me the e-mail in the first place, points out that "HJ 20" does exist, though it was introduced back in February. It's unlikely that it will get any support in the current political climate.]

She thanked me for my interest, and that was that.

I think it's really cool that I could pick up the phone, call a Congressional office, and get an answer to a question in less than five minutes. I didn't even have to send them any money.

That, my friends, is what America is about.

Posted by Wil at 04:06 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

If you're interested in a laugh, check this out.

If you're interested in getting rapidly updated news on the war, you will find no better resource than The Agonist.

Posted by Wil at 09:45 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

72 years ago today, my second favorite captain was born.

Happy . . . . . . . birthday . . . . . . . . Bill! Here's . . . . . hopinganaked . . . . . green! babe! jumps . . . . . . . outofyourcake.

(thanks to Keith who reminded me about this great reason to get drunk and try on new toupees)

Posted by Wil at 05:40 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I have a friend who is a veteran. Yesterday, I asked this friend, "How can I support the members of the military while opposing the action in which they are engaged?"

It was bothering me. How can I see the humanity of Mr. Bush's so-called "enemy," while not seeing the humanity of the men and women he's putting in harm's way?

Here's what my friend said:

Good question. I think what it boils down to is being able to separate the two things (the war and the people on the front lines fighting it) in your mind. Most people can't get their mind around that: How can I support that guy that just dropped a bomb that went off target and took out a day care center?

But let me try, for a minute, to introduce a couple of concepts. First of all, the people on the front lines, the "troops," are serving their country to the best of their ability. I've said it before: part of the sacrifice of being a soldier is having to put your trust in your commanders that if they send you in somewhere, it is for the good of the country or the world as a whole. Barring the assholes and psychopaths that one gets in any walk of life, what you have in the troops is a bunch of people who are dedicated to the purpose of establishing justice, ensuring domestic tranquility, and preserving or restoring freedom.

A military requires a lot of discipline in order to work in any kind of efficient or effective manner, and when you join, you have to have that belief that the officers, political leaders, etc, will utilize your services in an appropriate manner. And (barring illegal orders which we are trained to recognize) you HAVE TO DO WHAT THEY SAY.

Otherwise it all falls apart, you see.

So, you've got these folks who are dedicated to the service of the country.

Then, you've got commanders who are, perhaps, having these folks do things that you DON'T think benefit the country, or freedom, or whatever. But that's the fault of the commander, not the soldier.

The troops don't get a choice in where, or sometimes, when they serve.

Now, then.

As I said, it's a tough concept. I'm not going to go, "Hey, man, great job with that napalm on the aspirin factory! Woo hoo!" But I am going to say, "Thank you for dedicating part of your life to service to our country," because I think that's a noble thing.

I could say a lot more about this, but to my mind, you can protest the war, and at the same time, hang a yellow ribbon in the hope that the troops come home safely. Hoping for our folks to come home safe isn't at all pro-war, to my mind. Writing a letter saying, "Hey, hope you guys are doing okay" doesn't imply you hope anyone else (like the Iraqis) are being blown to smithereens.

This is the time when it's really tough. Probably a lot of the troops over there are uncertain whether this is a good idea, so they're going to get kind of defensive with anti-war protesters. Add to that the people who cannot separate the war from the people fighting it, and you have even more ill will.

Seriously, it's very tough to reconcile for a lot of people. I've been there, so I know stuff about what it's like to be in the military. It's damn hard to explain some things to civilians in a way that makes sense, though, because some of it DOES NOT make sense outside of the military culture. But it makes perfect sense in there.

It is really a different culture too, remember. US military and US civilians live by a very different set of rules and assumptions a lot of the time.

Like I said: Protest the war, Embrace the people. They are our brothers and sisters who have dedicated themselves to the service of our country. If they are used unjustly, blame the leaders.

I thought about that yesterday, and I was able to find that separation between "soldier" and "leadership."

I maintain that this conflict is not worth one American life.

I am outraged that the first American casuality -- a marine, serving his country, following orders -- died while patrolling an oil field.

Pentagon officials told NBC News that the casualty was suffered while U.S. forces moved toward the large Iraqi oil field of Al-Rumeila.
Details of the incident were unclear. However, a fellow soldier, along with an Associated Press reporter, said the Marine was shot in the stomach while his company was patrolling around a burning oil pumping station.

I became aware a website this morning that is sending books to American soldiers in the Gulf. I think it's a great idea, and encourage all WWDN readers to get involved.

Posted by Wil at 08:35 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I don't support this war.

I believe that Mr. Bush's justifications for it are based on lies.

I believe that he has lied to the American people, and to the world.

I believe that there is a small group of people within Mr. Bush's administration who have wanted to invade Iraq since the mid-1990s. The horriffic terrorist attacks on September 11th, which have nothing to do with Iraq and everything to do with Saudi Arabia, have been exploited by this small group of people to justify this invasion.

While I believe that Saddam Hussein is a terrible despot, I do not believe that this action is worth one American life, and I hope for the speedy return of all military forces to their families.

May Peace Prevail On Earth.

Posted by Wil at 12:12 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Typing this on a treo with one finger.

Tied up in teh back of a cab.

Please sne dhelp/

wil

UPDATE: What was funny yesterday is really the opposite of funny today. So I took the link down.

Posted by Wil at 04:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (56) | TrackBacks (0)

. . . and the Trogdor comes in the nnniiiigggghhhtttt!!!!

Posted by Wil at 04:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (74) | TrackBacks (0)

From Salon:

A new documentary on the Trio cable network sums up 30 years of big budgets, blitzkrieg marketing, bad scripts and Kevin Costner.

Heather Havrilesky's article is a great read. I think you should check it out, and consider a subscription.

I've been reading Plastic almost daily.

I just finished a great book called "Jennifer Government." I bought it on a Saturday, and finished it by the following Tuesday. I think it's the fastest I've ever read a book. It's that good.

Did you see this from William Shatner, on IMDB?

Acting veteran William Shatner may have gained fame by starring in the Star Trek series - but he believes the show is now "old hat." The 71-year-old star first shot to fame as Captain James T. Kirk in the 1966 TV series, but now he refuses to watch the many spin-off programs and films, believing they've lost what made them great. He says, "It needs something new. The people responsible for it have lost its way and they need to find it again. They need a whole new group of talent to give a fresh approach. By doing too many things, they have lost Star Trek's way because of greed."

"Wheaton and Shatner on same side . . . horsemen to arrive at ten, news at eleven."

Did anyone see the Ataris on Conan this week? I have never met them, but I felt like I was watching friends finally get the success they deserve. Kris Rove has emailed me a few times, and seems like a really nice guy. Their new single is great, too.

If you're into Indie music, you should check out The Rocket Summer.

My collection of short stories,"Dancing Barefoot," is done! It goes to the printer tomorrow morning, and should be available at the Grand Slam Convention in a couple of weeks. I'll be reading from it, and "Just A Geek," at the show. I'm onstage Saturday afternoon at 2:30. I'll be hanging out the rest of the time.

Hey, it's nearly 2:30 now, and I'm still in my PJ's. I love Sunday.

I think I am becoming a fan of NASCAR racing.

Anne and I saw "Chicago" last night. I loved it. I can't believe that John C. Reily's people focused on his competent, but unspectacular performance in "Gangs of New York" (which I absolutely HATED with the exception of Daniel Day Lewis who should grab the Oscar) when his performance in "Chicago" is so incredible. If they keep making musicals like this one and "Moulin Rouge," I'm ready for the musical to make a comeback.

Anne is watching "The Good Girl," right now on PPV. I'm only catching about 40% of it, but it seems like a fantastic picture. I'll be watching it later tonight.

Recently, I said that I really didn't love Raymond. I need to clarify: I just don't get the show, but Ray Romano absolutely kills me. He's a really great guy by all accounts, too.

The rain was so intense last night, it came up over the curbs in Old Town, and flooded amost four feet into Colorado Boulevard. Now it's just little puffy clouds today.

If you're a newcomer to WWDN, you should read this story I wrote last summer. I think it's pretty cool.

Posted by Wil at 02:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (92) | TrackBacks (0)

I can't believe I missed this earlier. From this website:

Guys, you know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic.

Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do love them more than any other.

Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out.

That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.

Which is why a new holiday has been created. "March 14th" is now officially Steak and Blowjob Day.

Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ.

That's it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable "March 14th".

Its like a perpetual love machine! The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word and help bring love and peace to this crazy world and, of course, Steak and BJs.

Posted by Wil at 04:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (111) | TrackBacks (0)

I have heard from very reliable sources that there will be no Wesley scenes on the Nemesis DVD.

Many people have asked me if I take it personally that they cut the scenes out, again. Well, not really. I'm sad about it, of course. Like many fans, I wanted to see how the scene played out.

But, it's not my movie, and I understand that TPTB totally hated the way the whole wedding sequence looked. When Rick told me that I was cut from the theatrical release, he mentioned to me that if they could have cut the whole thing, they would have.

I don't know how DVD technology works, but if they were close to filling it up, and they had to pick between a Wesley scene that they really hated, and a Data scene that was tough to cut . . . well, that's not a real tough choice, is it?

Things like this remind me of my "place" in the Star Trek world, and I'm actually quite happy to know where I stand. When things like this happen, it makes me feel like less and less of TPTB's "family." Until recently, this hurt a lot. But in the last two years, I've become a bigger part of fandom's "family," and it feels great. I feel at home when I'm with other fans . . . because I'm Just A Geek.

Posted by Wil at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (152) | TrackBacks (0)

The entry yesterday sparked some cool e-mails, with rememberances of cool toys from years gone by. Intellevision was mentioned several times . . . am I the only kid who was intimidated by that weird control disc? And what was up with those numbers? Was it a game or a phone? (ah, they were so ahead of their time, weren't they?) And remember Vectrex?

My pal Robert runs this spiffy site called Retrocrush, and he linked me this awesome list of the best toys ever. I still want some of these.

In the comments from yesterday, a WWDN reader shared with the class a link to a version of DARK TOWER that you can play online. Dark Tower was one of my favorite games when I was a kid. It was like having D&D without needing a dungeon master. With all this retrogaming that's going on these days, I bet a Dark Tower re-issue would sell like crazy. Are you listening, Milton Bradley?

Posted by Wil at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (42) | TrackBacks (0)

Man, I love this game.

I have so many Atari-related memories . . . I could go on for pages and pages . . . another day. :)

I recently picked up one of those 10-in-1 Atari Joystick things, and I was playing Circus Atari.

Nolan walked in, and said, "What's that?"

"Circus Atari! It's so cool!"

"Wil, that is so lame," He said, and walked away.

Goddamn kids today. I'm not even going to try and impress him with my mastery of Zork.

Posted by Wil at 12:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (129) | TrackBacks (0)

Check it out:

My thesis is an attempt to fill in the void in academic work about blogs. Previously in articles and commercial books published about blogs (Rebecca Blood's books and the O'Reilly book, for example), why we blog has been researched using personal experience, with a few indepth interviews, or by analyzing websites. None of these three ways can come close to providing as accurate a depiction of the blogging population - who we all really are, why we blog, and how we're using our blogs - as a survey.

So how about it? We've all taken the "what robot are you" and "what type of hat do you keep behind your toilet" tests, so why not take a few minutes and help this kid out?

Oh, and if you think it's a cool thing to do, maybe you could trackback in your own blog, and help spread the word? That'd be cool. :)

Posted by Wil at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (62) | TrackBacks (0)

Now this is just stupid.

Posted by Wil at 01:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (268) | TrackBacks (0)

I slept through the night like a baby. No dreams, no restlessness, not a single disturbance. When I woke this morning, the clock said 5:58. I beat the alarm by 3 minutes! I victoriously turned it off before it could beep, and hopped out of bed feeling relieved and rested.

I drank a cup of coffee, ate some cereal, and met my friend Burns at 6:45. We spent the next six hours at Dodger Stadium, standing in line for opening day tickets.

"The race for third place has already begun! Be part of the excitement at Dodger Stadium!"

The Dodgers communications director, who is the worst public speaker I've ever seen, tried and failed to keep pump up the crowd, shouting things like, "When I say 'What do you miss?!' You say, 'Baseball!' Ready?! What do you miss?!"

One guy next to me shouted, "The Playoffs!" Another shouted, "My tickets!"

And so it went for several hours. He even tried to get us all to sing "Take me out to the ballgame." I felt physical pain in my gut for this poor guy.

Burns's wristband was 500 higher than mine, so while he bought our tickets, I walked back to the car and finished reading a wonderful book titled " Mister Posterior And The Genius Child," by Emily Jenkins. I was sad to see it end, and I highly recommend it.

When I was done with my book, I took a nap. Burns returned about an hour later with our tickets -- they are the best kind: inside the park for opening day.

When I arrived home, there was a package sitting on my dining room table, containing my Homestarrunner T-shirts! Ryan got a Strongbad, Nolan got a Homestar, and I got a Strongbad and The Cheat. Plus we got bonus tatoos.

Posted by Wil at 03:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (91) | TrackBacks (0)

All week, I have woken up about 2 hours after I fall asleep. I end up staring at the ceiling for what seems like an eternity, before sinking into a restless slumber, waking about once every 90 minutes. I have had terrible nightmares, from which I awake with a scream somewhere between my stomach and my lips, depending on the severity of the terror.

The dreams are always the same: I'm running from someone, or someone I love has been taken from me, or there is some Big Terrifying Thing just outside my field of view. Two nights ago, I had two separate nightmares; in both of them Anne was kidnapped and I knew that I'd never see her again.

When my head touches my pillow each night, it is with a sense of grim resignation. Many mornings, I am exhausted when I get out of bed. I feel like I'm not getting any rest at all. I look and feel like hell.

Last night, I decided to stay awake until I was just too exhausted to keep my eyes open, rather than turning the lamp off at 11 like I usually do.

I sat on my couch and read my book in the dark and quiet house. Around two, there was a ruckus out on my patio.

I put my book down on the table, and turned on the patio light. The Bogeyman stood in the center of my patio.

When he hadn't found me in my dreams, he must have climbed over the wall of sleep to find me in my house. He had terrified me all week, worn me down, taken little bits of my life each night, and was here now to take what was left.

His skin hung loosely off his body. His arms ended in two enormous claws. Beneath his firey eyes, his mouth hung open in a silent scream. His black tongue flashed across jagged and uneven teeth.

He teetered forward, and I saw him flex his toes into the bricks. He clenched one of his claws into a fist, piercing his palm. Dark blood exploded from the wounds, and formed shiny puddles on the ground.

He raised his fist, and took a step toward me. I began to cry.

He took another step, and I smelled his Terror. His roar filled my head.

I tried to run, but he was too close, too fast, too powerful. His fist came flying at me. He punched through the screen, through the door, and through me. I looked down and saw his arm ending in my stomach. He clenched his fist tightly and pulsed his blood into my veins.

He pulled me close to his face, and tasted my tears as I died.

Posted by Wil at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (155) | TrackBacks (0)

Last year, I worked on my friend Damion's film, Neverland.

I think it's a fantastic, risky, beautiful, and ultimately engaging film. I think it's everything independent film was supposed to be, before "Independent Film" was co-opted by Miramax and turned into a marketing buzzword.

Of course, I'm not the most objective person where this film is concerned . . . so why don't you take a look at the Neverland website, where you can see the trailer, some pictures, and perhaps form an opinion of your own?

Posted by Wil at 12:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (100) | TrackBacks (0)

This made me laugh out loud. It's allegedly written by John Cleese, but it turns out that it originally came from Satirewire.

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria,Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."

Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

Posted by Wil at 07:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (64) | TrackBacks (0)

In response to several requests, I spent quite a bit of time yesterday reworking the CSS for my site, so I could get rid of the ugly H3 tags that used to contain my entry titles. I did this primarily as a courtesy to the people who synidcate this site . . . it's really spiffy that anyone thinks this site is worth synidcating. :)

I'm pretty happy with the way things look now, and I have a much better understanding of how stylesheets work. It's pretty cool. I ran my index.php through a validator, and got 32 errors out of 540-something lines . . . not too bad. Same for the stylesheet.

Flush with the success, I felt lucky and upgraded MT to 2.63. Yeah! I didn't break anything.

Earlier, I was goofing off when I should have been working, and I took this Star Trek personality test, at the suggestion of a WWDN reader. You can get my results by clicking "More . . . "

Results

Myers-Briggs would say that you are an INFP (Introvert, Intuitive, Feeler, Perceiver). In Star Trek language, you share a basic personality configuration with Garak and Kes.

People like you are generally nonconforming, deeply passionate, and highly dedicated to your personal values. You're reserved, which covers a sensitive spirit easily hurt. You're highly imaginative and creative. You're curious and often study others quietly. You're flexible in small matters. You don't dance to other people's tunes, but you can pretend you do. You get what you want by talking, not screaming.

You're loving and dedicated to people you care about, but you do not compromise your principles for them. Your sense of what is right comes first, even before yourself. You respond best to people who respect your privacy until you let them in, then provide you with emotional intimacy.

You're not the world's most tidy person.

Your primary goal in life is to be true to your deeply held beliefs and to live in harmony with your values. Your reward is to have your ideas benefit others.

Good careers for your type include being a psychologist, human resources professional, Cardassian spy, physical therapist, translator/interpreter, legal mediator, college professor of humanities, and art director.

I was pretty stunned when I got the results. I think it's about 98% correct. Spooky.

Posted by Wil at 09:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (125) | TrackBacks (0)

I think it's the second coolest date this year . . . the first being 01.02.03.

I think it's so cool, I'm making a really stupid and pointless weblog entry, just so I can keep this date in my archives.

Many people who read this site using RSS feeds have complained at me that there are H3 tags around all my titles. Rather than respond to each e-mail directly, I'll just put this here: I know, and it sucks. The thing is, I can't seem to get the cascade order correct in my stylesheet (yeah, it's on the list of things that DESPERATELY needs to be updated, along with most of the source for the site -- but I've been, uh, working on other stuff ;)

If I could tell MT to make the .title class "large," (and it actually *worked*) I wouldn't need to use the H3 tags . . . but I swear, I just can't figure it out. If anyone wants to offer some help, I'd be happy to take it, and you'll be a hero to tens of RSS readers.

Good news and bad news on JAG.

Good news: the cover is designed, and looks amazing. I've been given some really kind and flattering quotes to put on it, and I think I have a really funny and insightful preface.

Bad news: It's looking like the release is going to be pushed by a couple of weeks at best, maybe a month at worst. I am profoundly saddened by this fact, but I want it to be as good as it can possibly be.

"Dancing Barefoot" is still on schedule, though.

How about a thought for today?

"If sand were made of diamonds . . . they'd still call it sand."

UPDATE: I spent some time looking through my awful stylesheet. I know it's supposed to be all charming and everything, and empowering to feel like I've come a long way . . . but holy crap! I felt like I was watching myself in "The Buddy System" or "Liar's Club," or some performance of mine that makes me cringe. All I had to do was download the damn thing and look at it in vim (yeah! geek points! vim, baby!) to see what I'd done wrong. First, there was no .title class. MT provides it, but I'd managed to bork it out of the style-sheet at some point in time. So I added the .title class, and set the font-weight to bolder, and the font-size to 27px. (It's the only value that's set to px, btw.) Thanks to Danielle, who sent the font-size number, and to O'Reilly's Cascading Syle Sheets: The Definitve Guide, which just paid for itself. :)

Update-Update spoke too soon. I broke the effing thing again. I think I must be setting up the cascade incorrectly.

UPDATE-UPDATE-UPDATE: It looks like everything is working, now. Hooray.

Posted by Wil at 10:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (96) | TrackBacks (0)