Weblog Archives

Tomorrow, I will make an epic announcement, following up on this audioblog post I made all the way back in July. In the post, I think I said something like, "I'll update this in a week or so," or something like that . . . well, that week or so ends tomorrow.

Happy December, everyone.

(heh. When I typed that, I hit the "3" so it looked like "Happy Decemb3r" -- I am so 31337, i wil pwN j00, 5uXX0r!)

Yesterday, (well, today, actually. I'm composing this at 8:16pm on Monday, while Anne and Ryan assemble a desk, because I won't have time tomorrow to write this up) while I was digging a hole in my yard, I thought to myself, Man, there's been a big build up to this. People are expecting a major announcement, and there's no way it will live up to expectations.

One of these years, I'll find some way to not be so goddamn insecure. It's in my nature. Just part of being a nerd, I guess.

So, without (much) further ado . . .

There's been a lot of speculation about the epic announcement. Ideas have included:

• Anne and I are hatching a kidlet of our own.


• Several different variations on the "Wil's gonna be back on Star Trek" theme.


• I'm doing a voice over for a television show, like The Simpsons.


• I'm doing a voice over for a Pixar Movie


• I discovered a bunker in my backyard, and it's filled with a thousand cases of Guinness.

There were some who thought it was acting related, and a few who thought it was literary related.

If you were one of the very few in that last group, you totally win a pizza and a trophy, because . . .

I have totally signed a three book deal with a major publisher. O'Reilly & Associates, to be precise.

Okay, I'm totally trying to play it all cool, but . . .

HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP!! WOOOO!!!!!! ROCK!

YEAH!!! KICK ASS BABY!!! UNGH!!! UNGH!!!

*pant*

*pant*

Sorry. I've been getting those massive rushes of excitement with alarming frequency. I hope you all understand.

This is a very exciting relationship for me, for several reasons. First, I am a huge geek, and without O'Reilly, I wouldn't know HTML from LMNOP. I never would have been able to get Linux running, and Perl would be one of the not-quite-as-good-as-Mrs.-Garrett replacements on Diff'rent Strokes.

This means I will be able to get my books into more stores than I ever was with Monolith Press. It means I'll be sent out on a real book signing tour. It means I'll be on national television and radio to promote my work, and maybe even get a review in major newspapers or magazines.

Dancing Barefoot sold 3,000 copies in less than five months, without any of that, and I can't wait to see how it does when it's got the power and budget of a major publisher behind it.

It also means that I will never royally screw up days worth of orders again, and I will be free to work like crazy on Just A Geek because I won't be running the business any more.

I spoke with my editor at O'Reilly this morning (" . . . my editor at O'Reilly!" that sounds so cool!), and he told me that O'Reilly is so excited to carry Dancing Barefoot, they're going to have a printing available in time for the holidays. They are currently working on a plan with Powells to get it out there right away, and I understand that they are in talks with Amazon as well. If you've been kicking yourself in the pants, or punching yourself in the back of the head because you wanted Dancing Barefoot for a holiday gift and missed out, you can stop the madness right now!

It should be in most major book stores very soon and y -- Oh my god! I'm going to walk into Vroman's and see my book on the shelf!!! AHHH!!! That RULES!

RAWK! \m/

Oops. There it goes again. :)

O'Reilly will also publish Just A Geek in Spring of next year, and I'm going to write a currently untitled technical book on personal website design that I think will come out in Summer.

So, you see, when I made my audioblog post back in July, I had just gotten off the phone with Brett from O'Reilly, who had called to tell me that none other than Tim O'Reilly himself had come back from OSCon talking about "the Wil Wheaton phenomenon" and instructed Brett to tell me that he wanted to be my publisher. Since that day, we've been working out the details. They were actually finalized a few weeks ago, but we all decided to wait until today to release this epic news, because I guess December 2 is a good day to release news, and there's a good chance some mainstream media outlets will pick this up.

I want all of you who read WWdN to know that none of this would ever have happened without you. Many of you have been here since the early days of Where's My Burrito?. In this strange, impersonal-but-personal way, you've gone with me through the ups and downs (mostly downs) of my Sisyphean struggles in the acting world. You were excited with me when I was added to Nemesis and cried with me when I was cut. You have been there when I've loved, and when I've lost. I've introduced you to Ryan and Nolan, Ferris, and Anne, who is more than my world . . . she's my entire universe.

You've supported me so much . . . I can't tell you all how wonderful it feels to share my tremendous joy with all of you now. Everyone who has read Dancing Barefoot, or come to see me at a show, or left a comment on this site, Soapboxers, Farkers, Slashdotters . . . I'm sure I'm forgetting people . . . but every single one of you owns a piece of this amazing new chapter in my life.

When I started to write this, there were almost 450 comments, and 20 trackbacks to my last entry. I also saw that some Trek news places picked up O'Reilly's press release.

I'm really overwhelmed with the outpouring of joy and congratulations that are on this site, and in my Inbox. All I can really do is say thank you. I am incredibly touched and incredibly lucky to be the focus of so much positive energy and happiness.

I haven't even had time to sit back and absorb the impact, though, because Anne and I had our house appraised today, and we spent about 12 hours a day for 6 days getting out shit together. All that landscaping we'd been putting off got done, and all the piles and piles of junk that had accumulated around my office finally got cleaned up. I hear that it's easier to write in a clean and uncluttered space . . . but I've done it in chaos for so long, I wonder if this serenity will have any noticeable effect.

Heh. Serenity. There's a pornstar joke there, but I don't know what it is. Maybe I'll just use it as an excuse to link Jenna Jameson's website. Maybe she'll see the fives of hits she gets, and then we can trade action figures!

Okay, I don't know how I ended up on some pornstar rant there . . . must be the exhaustion and relief I feel now that the appraisal is over. And, to be honest, I feel a little lost in this insanely clean house we now have. I realized this morning that I've lived here for five years, and today was the second time I'd actually taken the screens off and done hardcore cleaning on the windows. Turns out the sky out my office window isn't always as grey as I thought it was.

So what happens next?

I get to spend much more time working on the Just A Geek rewrites, because O'Reilly wants the book out in Spring of 2004. I'll also do some media junk for the national release of Dancing Barefoot, probably in January.

A lot of people wanted to know what animal will be on my Website book. The answer is, I don't know. I hear that rookie ORA authors (like me) don't get to choose their own animal . . . but wouldn't a monkey at a typewriter just be the coolest?

Some VH-1 news, too! The network is still committed to the show, and I think we found a guy to interview. I probably shouldn't say exactly what it is, but it's fucking hilarious. I have to go out the the East coast to film it, probably in January, and I'll see if I can get some sort of book signing while I'm up there. As always, I'll blather on about it right here if / when it happens.

I'm going to go fall onto the couch for about an hour now.

Mr. Picasso Head rules.

My first attempt is here.
My second attempt is here.

(found at bOINGbOING)

Couple of nifty news items that I think are pretty cool:

• The Los Angeles Times has a spiffy article (lame reg required) about 'celebrity' (ugh) weblogs, and Dana Kennedy wrote rather kindly about me and my site.


• Paul Bond wrote a very cool story about my O'Reilly deal for The Hollywood Reporter, and it was picked up by Reuters!!!

Our house is so goddamn clean, Anne and I are actually having my parents over tonight for only the third time in the five years we've lived here!

I've always been so embarrassed to have them here, and I'm real excited that they are coming. I think we're gonna roast some chickens and puree some sweet potatoes . . . it will be similar to a traditional holiday meal.

Speaking of holidays, I have turned on the first holiday music of the season. It's a CD I picked up at Bed Bath & Beyond called "A Jazzy Christmas." It's got Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald, Shirley Horn and Eartha Kitt . . . it's really cool.

Two years ago, Anne and I introduced the concept of "Little Christmas" to the kids. It basically means we don't go nuts with decorations and gifts and crap . . . we just "cheer up" the house a bit, listen to lots of holiday music, burn lots of holiday-scented candles, drink lots of spiced cider, and spend lots of time with friends and family. It started out as a financial necessity, but we discovered that putting the emphasis on the holiday "spirit" rather on the holiday "stuff" just made us happier . . . so that's the way we do things now.

(Holiday note: if you're a new reader, check out this story about Nolan's last Holiday Program at school. It's not the best-written thing in the world, but it always makes me smile when I read it.)

Anyway, I'm sure it will be interesting to me to look back at this post in a year or so, and mark that I officially got excited for the 2003 Holiday season at about 3:48 pm today.

When I woke up this morning, the very first thought shouted at me by my brain was, "What if Death rented a room in your house?"

Neil Gaiman says that most of his stories start out with "What if . . . " or "If only . . . " so I immediately wrote down my "What if . . ."

. . . and didn't know what to do next. Normally, when I want to write a story, I take my idea, and just start. Something like:

Dorothy Hansen sat in her living room and did The Jumble. After Loretta went mad with Alzheimer's the previous Fall, Dorothy vowed to keep her 75 year-old mind sharp any way she could. She wasn't going to win any Major Awards, but she completed The Jumble more often than not,

Then I get stuck, because that's shite. But it's good information for me to use inthe building of this character. I would almost certainly cut that stuff before I even made it to an editor's draft.

The story really starts when I get here:

There was a knock at the front door. She pulled herself out of her chair and called out, "I'll be right there!"

The wooden floors of her living room creaked and popped beneath her as she walked. Her steps echoed down the hallway ahead of her.

She turned the deadbolt and pulled the front door open, revealing a tall young man.

"Yes?" she said.

"Do you still have a room for rent?" he asked, pointing to a sign in her front window.

She studied him briefly. He wore a dark coat and a white shirt. His hair was to his shoulders, and he held a small bag in one hand. He smelled nice, like old spices and leather.

"I have two rooms," she said, and motioned him into the house. "Upstairs, or down?"

"Let's take a look," he said, with a smile.

"The downstairs room is off the kitchen, down this hallway," she said.

She walked into the house, and he followed. The floorboards were silent beneath his feet. His footsteps were like sand blowing across dunes.

"I'm Joseph," he said.

"Mrs. Hansen," she said, "pleased to meet you."

"Likewise."

That took me about 45 minutes to write, and it's still a mostly-naked skeleton . . . But there's stuff in there that I like . . . I think maybe this guy will have all sorts of Egyptian smells and things around him, and I like the way he glides over the floors.

About halfway through that, I thought maybe it would be better to tell it from the perspective of someone who already lives in the house. Maybe a college student, or something. I also don't know when it's set -- maybe that's not important.

But the thing is, I don't know what happens next. Oh, sure, he takes a room, Probably the upstairs one, so I can use the eerie silence of his walking on the staircase, but once this "scene" is done, it's a mystery to me.

So I guess this is where that outline comes in handy, so I know where I'm going.

I think it's interesting if a girl who lives nearby falls for him, I think he puts everyone at ease (that's what Death would do, right?) and everyone likes him . . . but he makes them feel slightly uneasy, and they don't know why.

Somehow, people have to start dying, and some suspicious neighbors decide that this guy is responsible. He's not. He's just Death, so he takes them, but --

OH! I have it!! Someone in the town is a killer. Someone respected or something, like a cop, or a priest, or something, and Death has come to town because there's going to be a lot of souls to take care of. What if it IS the police chief, so he's investigating himself? What if Death falls in love with someone in the town? I don't think I'm going to let Death fall in love with anyone. I think that's been done to . . . death.

Heh.

But I think I will let a neighborhood girl get a crush on him, and see what happens there.

What if? What if? Well, maybe I don't have it. But that's some stuff to build on.

Is that an outline? I still have no idea how the story ends, but now I have enough ideas to make me want to finish it.

I googled for "How to write a fiction outline," and didn't really find a definitive answer. However, I came across this site, where I found this very interesting and useful post:

Mileages vary, but I'm really glad I kept my day job. Writers who make their whole living from writing have a couple of problems:

1. They have to write whatever comes their way, whether it's interesting or not. On the couple of occasions when I had to write a novel for the money, it was like pulling my back molars with my fingers.
2. They end up writing novels about novelists writing novels.

I also found Something for nothing: advice for writers, and Ten Rules of Writing.

It's a lot of interesting stuff, and I laughed out loud when I thought, "Wow, there's useful information on the Internet, if you can get around the porn and shopping."

Home from San Francisco. Had a fantastic time up there. It's one of my favorite cities in the world.

Arrived Sunday afternoon beneath sunny skies and puffy white clouds. Checked into hotel, and too a walk. Sat alone, in Union Square, watched young couples and familes pose for pictures in front of the giant lighted tree and missed my wife.

Ate Dinner with Loren and Kelly, coveted their flat screen TV.

Spent all day Monday with a camera crew and filmed a hilarious segment with Drew for Tech TV's Unscrewed. It will air in a couple of weeks. Video should be streamed when the show airs, and is very much worth watching. Finished Dark Tower IV. I'm in love with Susan Delgado, and want to be Roland when I grow up.

Spent most of Tuesday with Drew, Storm, Heather, and her parents. Went to Alcatraz, froze nearly to death in the rain, took tons of pictures. Filed BBC report for Radio Five, taped show, drank Guinness in hotel bar with Drew until last call.

Confirmed suspicion, hatched long ago, that Drew is one of the greatest people on the planet. Wish we lived close enough to hang out often.

Slept in perfect eddy of open window and radiator. Fell asleep listening to rain and sounds of the city.

Arrived at airport early. Flight cancelled, flew out at 1130 instead of 1050. Started 'Salem's Lot on plane. Flight was windy as hell, very bumpy. Sat across aisle from two pilots in uniform, nervously looked at them for reactions whenever plane lurched too much.

Paid 19.00 in extended parking lot, sung U2 loudly with sunroof open on drive home.

In clean empty house now, catching up on 250 e-mails. Haven't checked comments from previous entry, yet.

Unsure why I'm writing like this, but quietly pleased.

In response to several requests, I present: a ton of eBay auctions.

I made myself giggle with the description for Wesley Crusher: Mint In Box.

When I work on my books, I write in OpenOffice.org, on my desktop machine in my office. When I write for the web, I put my iBook on my kitchen table, and use Text Edit.

Unfortunately, when I was in San Francisco, my iBook went to sleep, and won't wake up. It's the second time this has happened in 5 months, and I'm pretty annoyed. It's not like I bash the stupid thing around, you know?

Because my iBook is currently in a coma, I'm forced to write for the web on my desktop machine. I'm using Kwrite, in an effort to duplicate my usual experience, but I still feel like I'm golfing with someone else's clubs, so I don't think I'll be able to do much until I get my iBook fixed. Which is, ultimately, a good thing, because I'll be forced to work on Just A Geek instead.

Before I gouge my eyes out in frustration, here are a couple of news items that may be of interest:

• I did an interview for Geek Extreme last week.


• The film Neverland that I worked on last year is now available on DVD! I am fiercely proud of this movie, and I hope WWdN readers will check it out. My friend Stephanie, who produced the movie, told me that they've already taken over 2,000 orders. Yay! Go us!


• My friend Seth, who directed The Good Things, told me last week that we're going to be doing a DVD release of that film, as well. I'll be doing a spiffy commentary track, and there will be tons of cool extras. I'm really excited for this to happen. This movie is amazing.

My iBook woes continue. Several people directed me to this solution, which sort of worked. She starts up if she's plugged in, but when I unplug her, she locks up. I tried removing her battery and resetting the PMU again, and she's currently fdisking. I was hoping I could help her out myself, but I think she's going to need professional help.

Oh well. It still feels bizarre to write at my office desk, but somehow I'll manage. Kwrite does all sorts of nifty highlighting and stuff. It's fun to watch links change color while I'm writing them.

Ah, I am so easily amused!

Yesterday, I took the morning off, and surprised Anne with a trip to Disneyland to see the Haunted Mansion Holiday. My pal Eric works there, and he totally signed us in. Thanks, Eric! You rule! :)

The crowds didn't show up until we were leaving around 3p.m., so we were able to hit all the fun rides that we love, and even made a trip to DCA for some Soarin' Over California. It was cool to see the Tower of Terror facade that's pretty much finished. The kids at Disney have done a fantastic job again with the Haunted Mansion Holiday, and I strongly urge everyone who can make it over there to check it out.

I'm working my ass off on a few nifty projects, Nolan is sick, and the holidays are looming, so I don't know how much time and energy I'll have to update my site over the next few days. I'll dump some interesting links here to keep WWdN readers busy until I can dig some entertaining junk out of my brain.

• Biz Stone wrote a great article for Blogger's knowledge base called How to Get a Book Deal With Your Blog. I enjoy reading Biz's articles, because they're funny and informative, like School House Rock without the singing.


• Is it just me, or does Strom Thurmond's daughter look like a dude in bad drag?


• I've been listening to The Cure's Disintegration and Depeche Mode's Black Celebration and Violator like crazy the past few days. I don't know what it is about Plainsong, but every time I hear it, it's like there's a chain connected to my heart and the back of my head, and the song grips it, and gently pulls me up toward the sky.


• My buddy Rob is an amazing magician. If you're looking for a magician for a party or something, you should call him.


• Powell's does a newsletter, and Dancing Barefoot gets a fantastic review on page six! (Thanks to Amber, who sent me the link.)

I think that's all for now. I see that my iBook has woken up, and wants a software update. One of the updates has to do with the battery, so maybe that will magically make everything work again.

I've been sick since Friday night. This is the first time I've been really sick since 1995, and holy shit is my body making up for lost time.

Yesterday, I had a fever of 103 (yes, try to not sing "hot blooded" now) for most of the day, and an oh-so-joyous dry hacking cough. The fever, the aches and the chills are nothing compared to the cough. I feel like someone's been punching me in the stomach and hitting me across the ribs with a baseball bat. Last night, I was coughing so violently, I woke myself up and wasn't able to fall back asleep for almost an hour.

This could not have come at a more inconvenient time. I still need to pick up some gifts for my wife, I have packages to ship at the post office, and we have to get our house in order for a family dinner on the 25th.

I also don't believe in medicating the hell out of myself, so I take all sorts of homeopathic stuff, and let my body heal itself . . . but the coughing is do painful I broke down and took some cough syrup this morning, and some advil to bring my fever down. Right now my fever is down to 99, but I still feel a little woozy, almost like I've found the bottom of a few pints of Guinness.

I'm going to go back to bed, but I wanted to let WWdN readers know that tomorrow night, Drew from Fark and I will be on Tech TV's Unscrewed. We did some really funny stuff, and I know that you'll enjoy it. Check local listings for times and stuff.

I just got this e-mail from MoveOn:

As we enjoy the holidays with our families, our thoughts naturally turn to those who can't: the 150,000 American soldiers who are spending the holidays in Iraq and Afghanistan. We've run across a great way to support them and make a real difference in their families' lives -- by turning your unused frequent flier miles into trips home for our troops.

We've checked out this website -- created by Congressman Dutch Ruppersberger (D-MD) -- and it really works. If you have frequent flier miles with virtually any U.S. airline, you can participate by going to Heromiles.org

Do you have a family member serving in the military? Or are you a veteran? Heromiles.org is a great example of citizens looking out for those who have risked everything for their country. Help us do the same by letting us know who you are and how your family member in the military is doing.

I think this is a fantastic idea, and I encourage everyone who reads this to participate.

UPDATE: Ernie, of the essential Ernie's House of Whoopass (NSFW) runs Let's Bring 'em Home, which takes "donations to purchase plane tickets for junior enlisted military personnel, allowing them the opportunity to fly home and spend the holidays with their families." (Thanks Flaim!)

I have watched more TV in the past three days than I have in the last several months, and I can now declare with great authority: television is teh sucks.

My god. I can't believe how horrible daytime TV is, and the crap the news networks show to fill their 24 hours is just plain stupid.

However, I did find two things that brightened my day just a bit. Yesterday, SciFi channel ran several episodes of The Twilight Zone, and I just watched an hour of The Battle of the Network Stars on Trio. I think it was from 1977. The hazy quality of the tape, Howard Cosell interviewing Patrick Duffy (credited as "The Man From Atlantis") and the general weirdness my fever (moving between normal and 101 today -- currently it's at 99) casts upon everything made for a very surreal experience. I remember watching that show when I was very young, in the den at my mom and dad's house. I remember how cool I thought that show was, and how much I wanted to be on it one day. (Everyone was on that show. Look at this cast list I found!) I thought that obstacle course they all had to do was just the coolest thing ever.

I also suffered through two episodes of The Newlyweds on eMpTyVee. That's right: two. Holy Mother Jesus Balls. Is Jessica Simpson really that stupid? She's 23, I think, and doesn't know how to cook? Are rich and famous people really that lame? Why in the world is that show so popular? I just don't get it. It's actually more painful than that stupid Anna Nicole show.

I wonder if any sociologists have studied a correlation between the staggering stupidity of so many people and the explosion of these "reality" shows. I wonder if art imitates life, or the other way around?

Okay. Enough of my cantankerous ranting. I'll end today on a positive note: Since I got sick, I have watched the entire extended cut, and all the appendicies on my The Two Towers DVD. It's awesome. It's very clear that TTT was an extremely difficult film to make, even more than Fellowship of the Ring . . . I mean, they spent three months of night shoots to film the battle of Helm's Deep! Three months of night shoots! I once did three weeks of nights on a movie, and I was ready to lose my mind. I can't imagine three months, in the rain, doing complex battle sequences.

The esprit de corps that the cast and crew had really comes through, and it reminded me of all the different shows I've worked on where the cast and crew became family. I miss that. If I get a chance to work as an actor again, I hope I get to experience that again.

I can't believe that it's already December the 24th. I guess the past few days have all blurred together, and now it's suddenly Christmas Eve.

I wanted to give out a cool WWdN Christmas gift, but the stupid flu put a halt to that plan, so I'll just have to leave you all with my Christmas wish:
I wish for peace on Earth, and lots of Guinness for me.

Merry Christmas, everybody. Thanks for reading WWdN, and making this an amazing year!

I've stayed away from editorializing in the last few months, but I suspect a lot of "off the table" topics are going to come up in the new year -- there's just too much going on in the world that's pissing me off.

Let's start today with this jackass story pile of crap in the New York Post:

IN this season of ecumenical brotherhood, here's a suggestion for how to advance the cause of peace: Sell your stock in Take-Two Interactive Inc.

In case you can't quite place the name, New York-based Take-Two Interactive is a Nasdaq-traded company in the video game business.

[...]

[L]et's first pause for some thoughts on the core question of what this company actually does - which is to produce and market video games of such luxuriously violent and disgusting content as to leave one simply speechless.

The latest installment in the company's best-selling "Grand Theft Auto" series - "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City" - has been on the market for a little over a year now and has already sold more than 5 million copies.

[...]

In fact, "whatever you want" is what the game is all about. Thanks to its artful and complex programming and its incredibly realistic graphics, the game creates the impression of being inside a totally unscripted, live-action drama in which you can manufacture your mayhem as you go along.

People, this is insane. This is 10,000 times worse than the worst thing anybody thinks Michael Jackson ever did to a little boy - or than any lie the feds think Martha Stewart ever told them, or any line in any song that Bruce Springsteen ever sang that rankled a cop in the Meadowlands.

Yeah, you read that correctly. Michael Jackson's accused of seven counts of commiting lewd acts on a minor -- that's legal speak for a whole bunch of inappropriate touching and who knows what else -- and this genius suggests that the content of a video game is WORSE than that.

There is much, much more, and I encourage all of you to read it, because it should give you an idea of how hysterical these people really are. Oh, and don't bother looking for financial advice in the column, because even though it claims to be about that, I certianly couldn't find anything of substance.

The best rebuttal I've seen was written up at Shacknews by Jason Bergman. Rather than cut-n-paste his whole story, which is amazing, I'll link it, and quote two small bits:

Dear Mr. Byron,

I recently read your editorial/financial advice column on the New York Post's website and feel the inflammatory nature of it deserves a level-headed response.

I have been writing about video and computer games for the last seven years. I am a lifelong fan of the medium, and over the years I have made many friends within the game development community. Admittedly this includes people at Rockstar Games, the developers of the Grand Theft Auto franchise, however this letter is not being written on their behalf, but rather on behalf of sane gamers everywhere.

Your first argument for lambasting Take Two over Grand Theft Auto is because of the line "Kill the Haitians." You point to this by saying that "it brought public rebukes of the company from both Mayor Bloomberg and the Anti-Defamation League" this is not true. The ADL did not "rebuke" Take Two in any way. On the contrary, they applauded the decision to remove the lines from the game after it was brought to the developers' attention. And in fact, it was removed pretty quickly, less than a week after the initial complaints were raised.

The line itself is hardly offensive. Vice City is a game about gang warfare. These gangs are divided by ethnicity, as they have been in scores of movies, television programs and novels. The line "Kill the Haitians" refers to the Haitian gang, and not the entire Haitian population. But of course, this is hardly your biggest complaint against the game.

Regarding your other statements, I'd like to first point out a major difference between you and I. Unlike yourself, I have actually played "Vice City". Not only that, but I've played the game to completion, and have seen virtually everything it has to offer. You clearly have never laid eyes on this game.

[...]

[Y]ou make this horrifying statement: "This is 10,000 times worse than the worst thing anybody thinks Michael Jackson ever did to a little boy - or than any lie the feds think Martha Stewart ever told them, or any line in any song that Bruce Springsteen ever sang that rankled a cop in the Meadowlands."

With all due respect, my jaw hit the floor when I read this. To suggest that publishing a video game (a constitutionally protected work of art, by the way) equates in any way, shape or form with child molestation is reckless, shameful and horrifying.

But since you brought it up, let's put this into context. You say that it's "10,000 times worse than the worst thing anybody thinks Michael Jackson ever did to a little boy". So what *do* people think Michael Jackson did to a little boy? He was charged on 12/18 with seven counts of child molestation, plus two counts of using an "intoxicating agent" on a minor.

Forgive me for saying so, but the notion that anything in any video game is on the same level of one of those charges would be abhorrent. That you consider it to be "10,000 times worse" than all nine charges shows that you have no ethical standards of any kind. I remain dumbfounded as to how you could possibly have written that sentence. It seems not only deeply insulting to anyone who has ever worked on any serious work of art, but more importantly, horrifying to anyone that has ever (god help them) been molested themselves.

Again, there is much more, and I encourage everyone to go read it, and perhaps share a letter to the editor of your own.

I also feel compelled to point out that, as the parent of a 12 and 14 year-old, I have made it quite clear to them both that they are not to play GTA or GTA:VC, because those are Mature games. See, I'm actually raising my stepkids, by doing this crazy little thing called "parenting." More people, like . . . oh, I don't know . . . maybe the ones who let 14 and 16 year-old kids get their hands on loaded guns for starters, should give this "parenting" thing a try. It's great fun.

Well, the sickness took me down, and took me down good. After three days with fever, I went to the doctor on Xmas Eve, and he said I was somewhere between severe bronchitis and pneumonia. He put me on an antibiotic called Levaquin, gave me some mucus-thinning medication, and told me to take it easy.

Well, easy is just about the only way I could take it. I have enjoyed all of the "less common" side-effects of the antibiotic, most notably extreme irritability, inability to sleep, and my personal favorite, dizziness. Oh, the joy of the dizziness. I am reminded why taking any mind-altering drugs has never held any appeal for me.

I also haven't been able to focus for more than one or two pages at a time, so I haven't even been able to really dig into Wolves of the Calla, or any of the other bitchin' books I got for Xmas.

I have watched all the appendicies on the LOTR DVDs, and I'm about to go watch some Fellowship commentary. It's been nice to live in Middle Earth for a few days.

My pal Keith is running in the AIDS Marathon, and we're doing two special J. Keith vanStraaten shows to help raise money for him and his girlfriend.

The first show is coming up on Wednesday, January 7th. All the details are here.

The JKvS Show is always great fun. If you've seen me on TechTV, it's like that but without the constraints of television. Also, Keith and I have been friends for years, and when we're on stage together, we share a bit of a common brain, and that creates fantastic comedy.

If you're a kind-hearted person who wants to help out, but you can't make it to the show, go here and show your love in a donation sort of way.