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February 28, 2002

The Dark Side of The Moon<

The past few days, I've been in sort of a funk, and I haven't really been able to put my finger on exactly what it is.

Until tonight.

I was talking about it with Anne tonight while we were folding our clothes, and I think we puzzled it out: it feels to me like the world is just...well, it's just falling apart.

I don't know if you're hearing this if you live out of California, but a 7 year old girl was kidnapped from her own bedroom, about a month ago. Yesterday, they found a body, and today they identified it as hers. I can't stop thinking about the incredible pain and loss that her parents are feeling, right now. I mean, jesus christ, if your kids aren't safe in their own freaking beads, where are they safe? What the F*** happened?!

I turn on the television, and the Israleis and Palestinians are blowing the shit out of each other, every chance they get, it's 90 degrees in FEBRUARY, and people rejoice, rather than think about the fact that maybe it's like this from global warming and pollution. As I wrote recently, there's a potentially innocent man about to be executed down in Missourri, one of who knows how many innocents currently facing the death penalty. Thousands of people lost EVERYTHING because of the greed and hubris of Ken Lay and the rest of Enron, and we all know that they'll probably get away with it.

And if all that isn't enough, I hear that there's a sequel to Battlefield Earth in the works.

I could go on and on, but I think you get what I'm going for, here.

It's so weird, because as recently as a few days ago, I was feelin' just fine...but something about the kidnap and murder of this completely innocent child has made something snap inside of me, and my glass is suddenly half-empty.

Am I alone, here? Am I the only one who reads the paper, listens to NPR, and thinks that something is terribly, terribly wrong?

Sorry to be such a downer...but there are a lot of smart, thoughtful people who read the old WWDN, and I bet we'll all figure some stuff out, if we talk about it.

Thought for today:

"Everybody wants a happy life."

February 26, 2002

Black Metallic

I'm sitting at work, decompressing from the infuriating 100 minute commute (to cover the vast distance of 27 miles -- thank you Los Angeles for your oh-so-useful mass transit system that is currently useless to me).

I'm supposed to be writing for my show, but, seriously, I'm so dang frustrated from the drive, that I'm taking a few minutes for myself to catch my breath and settle down.

I gotta stop drinking coffee when I drive, too...and I shouldn't listen to democracy now. It just gets me all riled up.

Couple of things: I really enjoyed reading the trash-talking and back-slapping that went on in the last two posts. I'm happy to see that there are other people around who know what and what not to take too seriously...and if you think I got worked up about hockey, just you wait until baseball season starts. I'm calling out all the Giant fans right now. Now that I think of it, wouldn't it be cool to do a WWDN fantasy baseball league, at Yahoo? I've played in those the last two seasons, and it's really really fun. I'll add that to the TODO list.

Drew, from FARK, who has become a sort-of friend of mine, is doing this really cool thing, that you should all check out.

If you live in or near the City of Angels, and you enjoy your old pal Wil Wheaton, and you enjoy the live theatre, you can come and see the two combined, starting in two weeks, because my friend Keith and I are kicking off a whole new season of the J.Keith vanStraaten show!! I'm really, really excited about this season, and I sure hope that lots of WWDN readers will come out, see the funny, and then introduce themselves after the show. Unless, of course, you're a freakin' weirdo. Then I'd prefer you go see shows at The Groundlings.


Ahh...I feel much better now, thanks to the cathartic process of writing, and the soothing sounds of Catherine Wheel, who give us this entry's title.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

February 24, 2002

O, Canada!

What can I say? Canada earned it.

Team USA's third period effort looked like the LA Kings, circa 1986.

Canada wanted it more badly, and they played much harder.

Seriously, they played some of the best hockey I have ever seen.

Congratulations, oh Great White North Ones!

Take off, eh?

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


Ô Canada!
Terre de nos aïeux.
Ton front est ceint,
De fleurons glorieux.
Car ton bras
Sait porter l'épée,
Il sait porter la croix.
Ton histoire est une épopée,
des plus brillants exploits.
Et ta valeur,
de foi trempée,
protègera nos foyers et nos droits (bis).

Attention, Canada!

On behalf of all American hockey fans, I would like to officially begin the shit-talking:

Dear Canada,

Today, we are going to kick your ass.

Oh, sure, the score, and the game, will undoubtedly be close, but we will be handing you your toque-wearing, back-bacon-eating, gold-medal-not-getting asses to you.

You may have invented the sport, and for that we will always be grateful, but it would seem that, in the last 50 years, you've passed the torch to...well, anyone else who would take it, really.

We'll happily take it from here.

Hey, don't feel too bad. You've still got all our film work, and Curling. Nobody can take that away from you.



February 23, 2002


Seven things I am thankful for today:

  1. Spending the entire day with my family.
  2. Playing a Madden 2002 Tournament with Ryan and Nolan, which I lost. Badly.
  3. The way Nolan puts his hand on my shoulder every time he is standing near me
  4. The way Ferris sits at my feet, and looks up at me, waiting for attention (instead of chewing the hell out of [important thing], like she did as recently as a few weeks ago)
  5. Anne coming outside, sitting on the ground, and getting grass stains on her butt while I mowed the back yard
  6. Nolan and Ryan laughing hysterically at my re-creation, from memory, of "Space Madness" while we ate dinner
  7. Super Collossal Brownie Sundaes(tm) for dessert.

GC vs. PS2

I brought home a Game Cube from work this weekend, for the kids to play.

Yeah, right. For the kids to play.

A few weeks ago, I brought a PS2 home, also for the kids to play.

You're not buying this, are you?

Well, maybe I did stay up until 4AM playing GTA3, but that was just because...ah...I wanted to make sure that it wasn't appropriate for the kids.

Yeah, that's it.

So this weekend, I brought home the same games that I did last time, but on the different platform: FIFA 2002, Madden 2002, Crazy Taxi and Tony Hawk 3. I also brought home Pickmin, which the kids are currently playing behind me...that music really creeps me out.

I think that the graphics and game play in all of those games is far superior to the PS2, and the load times are certainly a lot slower...and PS2 does have those anti-social, right-wing-panty-knotting games from Rockstar...

Which brings me to my question for you, dear readers: PS2 or Game Cube? GC is cheaper, smaller, and the graphics seem to be better, but PS2 seems to have more "mature" (read: cooler) games.




Duck Season! Rabbit Season!

I remember when Mel Blanc died, and there was this beautiful two-page tribute run by Warner Brothers in Variety.

On one page, there was a single microphone, illuminated by a spotlight.

On the facing page, tewnty or so Warner Brothers cartoon characters stood, heads bowed, eyes closed.

The caption read: "Speechless"

It brought tears to my eyes, because I wasn't as much of a badass then, as I am now.

So last night, when I heard that Chuck Jones died, I remembered that tribute in Variety, and it got me thinking...would the Merrie Melodies have been as cool as they were, without both of those guys?

Chuck Jones was being eulogized last night as the creator of Bugs Bunny, among others, but I bet you that he'd be the first to tell you that, without Mel Blanc, those would have just been drawings, and not full-fledged characters, as they were.

So now they're both gone, and holy crap, what a legacy they've left. I defy you to show me any person over the age of 25 who hasn't been profoundly affected by Looney Tunes, in one way or another.

I mean, without Looney Tunes, there would have been no Ren and Stimpy, for crying out loud!

I hope the Cartoon Network runs 900 hours of tribute to Chuck Jones. That'd be cool.

February 21, 2002

Still Cool

Imagine if you can that it's the summer of 1988. Not too hard, what with the terrible economy, deficit spending and incompetent president.

Still with me?

So it's 1988, and a little show called Star Trek: The Next Generation is in it's second season. It's struggling a little bit, experiencing the typical sophomore slump of any new series, and a writer's strike is not helping very much.

In the summer of 1988, I turned 16 years old, and, just like the Corey's, I got a License to Drive!

It's well documented within the Star Trek community that Patrick Stewart and I bought almost the same car, a 1989 Honda Prelude...the, uh, only problem is, I bought a model that was just slightly cooler than his. (He got the si, and I got the si4WS, baby.) Patrick has really had fun over the years, teasing me about how, since then, he's always had cooler cars than I do, to which I reply something about his driver.

What's not well documented, however, is this thing that happened, in the summer of 1988, in the parking garage at Paramount, where we all parked our cars.

We were all working late one night, probably shooting blue screen on the bridge, so we were all wrapped at the same time (a rarity). I excitedly walked to the parking garage with Jonathan Frakes, who I was already looking up to.

So we're walking back to our cars, and we're talking about something, I can't quite remember what, and I really feel like Jonathan is treating me like an equal. He's not treating me like I'm a kid. It really makes me feel good, and I say to him, "You know, Jonathan, I can tell, just from talking to you, that when you were younger? You used to be cool."

He laughs, and I think to myself that I've cemented my position with him as cool contemporary, rather than lame ass kid.

Then he says, "What do you mean, used to be?!"

I realized what I'd said, and how it didn't match up with what was in my head, which was, "Gee, man. You are so cool now, as an adult, I bet that you were a really cool guy, who I'd like to hang out with, when you were my age."

He knew what I meant, I could tell, and he really tortured me about that, for years. Every time I see him nowadays, he turns to a person nearby, and he says, "You know, Wheaton here told me that I used to be cool." We laugh about it, and I make the appropriate apologies, and explanations, while Jonathan makes faces and gestures indicating that I am full of shit.

Now, when I was working on Trek, I always wanted to be:

  • As good an actor as Patrick,
  • As funny as Brent,
  • And as cool as Jonathan.

I'm still working on those things, and Jonathan just recently showed me how cool he still is.

Jonathan directed this new movie, called "Clockstoppers". It's a movie geared towards kids, but it seems smart enough for their parents to sit through it without dreaming up ways of eviscerating the writer responsible for robbing them of 90 minutes of their weekend, which sets it well apart from most "family" films.

Ryan and Nolan have been talking about how they can't wait to see this movie, and I mentioned to them last week that I was friends with the director, and I had heard that it was going to be really cool, and I was pretty sure that I could get us into a screening.

So I called up Jonathan's office, and asked if I could get some tickets to a screening, so I could take the kids, and be a hero to them. Jonathan's assistant said that it would be no problem, and I'd hear from someone at Nickelodeon about the screening.

The next day, the phone rings, and it's totally Jonathan himself, calling me back, telling me how happy he is that I want to take my step-kids to see his movie, and that he's really happy to get me into the screening on Saturday.

See, the thing is, Jonathan is what we in Hollywood call A Big Deal(tm), and usually people who become A Big Deal(tm) don't usually talk to people who aren't also A Big Deal(tm).

But Jonathan is not only A Big Deal(tm), he's also A Really Great Guy(tm), and he didn't need to call me back, personally. Actually, I really didn't expect him to.

But he did, and that proves that he is now, and always has been, cool. Despite my fumbled proclamations as a 16 year old dorkus.


I have no idea what the hell is going on here, but I think the caption says it all.

Thanks (I think) to Courtney, who sent this to me.

Too Late to Stop the Hangman?

From Salon:

"Missouri is determined to execute Joseph Amrine for murder even though every prosecution witness and the jury foreman now say he's innocent and new witnesses point to another man. Why? A federal law says the evidence came in too late."

The whole story is here.

Please read this, and if you feel that this man may be innocent, contact the governor of Missouri, Bob Holden, asking him to grant a pardon, or at the very least a new trial, using the following contact information:

Governor's Office In Jefferson City
Missouri Capitol Building, Room 218
PO Box 720
Jefferson City, MO 65102-0720
Telephone: (573) 751-3222
FAX: (573) 751-1495


I woke up this morning to find my entire dining room table covered in cat pee.

Goddamn Felix. He won't use the cat box, and I guess he didn't get to go out early enough last night...so he decided to use the grocery bag on the table. Little bastard even got some on my cool G4 hat.

Why do I bring this up? To show, by example, why I haven't written anything in 2 days.

I got nothin', man. Nada. Zero. I got UPN ratings for ideas to write about, my friends.

I think it has to do with my cooler-than-me, funnier-than-me, better-looking-than-me wife's previous entry. I haven't had anything that could top that, except for the final installment of SpongeBob Vega$Pants, but I haven't had time to write that up...and it's killing me, believe me!

Oh, and I've been printing out all your comments, and giving them to her. You guys have all made her feel really, really happy, and I want to thank you, sincerely, for being so cool. Maybe we can talk her into coming and playing with us sometime again, in six months or so. :)

So I sit here this morning, constantly refreshing the traffic map, waiting for a break, so I can leave for work, sipping this Chai mate tea that I just got, lamenting my lack of inspiration.

Oh! The cat pee reminds me of something funny that happened when I was doing the "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Sunday Show" show at ACME last year. My friend Kate had written this really funny sketch, that was a take off on PBS's "Great Performances", where a bunch of us wore all black, and performed 80s pop-tunes as dramatic spoken word pieces. It was hellafunny, and it was one of my favorite sketches in the show. For my costume, I wore black jeans, socks and shoes, and a black shirt, that was sort of a "hipster" shirt, that I got at Hot Topic. It was polyester, short-sleeved, and had this pseudo-shiny stuff up the center. Boy, that description really makes it sound gay, doesn't it? Trust me, it was fairly cool.

So we're all changing backstage, getting ready for "Great Performances". I can hear the audience dying, cracking up to "Let's Swap", we're all talking a bunch of shit to each other, because that's what actors do, as we're changing.

I pull my shirt over my head, and sit down on the couch to tie my shoes...and I am overwhelmed with this terrible, terrible smell. So I ask Maz if he smells it. He does not. Dara doesn't smell it, either, nor do Chris or Kevin. But Cynthia is sitting next to me, and she smells it, and we both realize that it's my shirt, but we can't quite place the horrible smell...it's not just cat pee...it's something more, probably because of the chemical interaction between polyester and cat pee. Dammit, I wish DATA were here. He'd know what it was.


So I realize that I have a pretty serious problem: we are on in less than a minute, and I smell like something you'd find in a back alley in Hell's Kitchen, right after Republican budget cuts have forced the closure of another homeless shelter.

So what do I do? I suck it up, and I go out there, like a man. A cat-pee-stinkin' man, and I do my bit in the sketch, and I make the audience laugh, while making Dan Fester, who is standing next to me, nearly gag.


Because the show must go on, Virginia. The show must go on.

February 19, 2002

Comments From The Wife

I'm going to start by saying that I am so lame when it comes to computers. I don't even know how to turn one on. In fact, I'm pretty bad with any electronics. When the daylight savings time happens, the clock in my car is off by an hour for six months. Before meeting Wil, my VCR was always flashing 12:00. Pretty lame huh?

My friends tease me for having a husband who can build his own website, yet I have to ask what a BLOG is. You get the picture. So when Wil told me that he put on his website (he has to read me his entries and prints out responses for me to look at) that he wanted to do something cool for me for putting up with all the time and energy (and MANY profane words) he has put into building and maintaining his site, by doing sort of a "donation box" for a gift for me, I was so touched by this. So touched, in fact, that I had Wil set up this whole little deal here so all I had to do was type what I want to say. And boy, do I have a lot to say. I'm so excited. I feel like I finally have communication with this whole world that I only hear about! I know, you're probably thinking, "what the hell is wrong with this girl? Does she live in some sort of cave?! Well, as a matter of fact, yes. I live in an Atari 2600 world. Simple, yes. Advanced? No. But that's ok. I have a husband who can look things up for me if I really need to. But it is pretty cool to finally have a chance to have my thoughts about all this heard. So first things first. (Oh and by the way, I still play my Atari. what the hell is this Playstation thing anyway?)

First of all, I was totally surprised when I came home from work today and Wil told me about his "donation box" story. Surprised mostly because I have friends who read his entries everyday, and didn't tell me he was doing this. But also that there were enough donations that he was able to get me a gift certificate for a yummy day at a spa. Mmm... massage.... oh sorry, where was I? Anyway, these past few months have been very difficult, but at the same time very rewarding for Wil, as he was able to get his site going. You know, I think it has been for me too. Wil would stay up FOREVER working on this, which meant me going to sleep by myself, and work on it every free moment he had. So it's nice to see Wil so happy with all his hard work paying off for him. He feels like people get to see what he's really like, instead of what some "I hate Wesley" fan guy has to say. And just in case you were wondering, I had never seen Star Trek until they started running that marathon on TNN or TNT whichever one it is. Wil watched that thing practically the whole time it was on. He kept saying, " Oh, this is my FAVORITE episode." ok seriously, he said that like 20 times. But it was kinda funny that he really likes that stuff. Even when he's in it. So once in a while he'd say, "look honey! There I am! Man does that suit look stupid. Oh man, look at my lame hair!" But he's all into science fiction stuff, so that must have been pretty cool to be part of something you like so much.

Anyway, his website means so much to him and I think that it's so awesome that people have responded so well to it. Of course, he tells me about the occasional lame ass that has to throw in his negative two cents now and then. But I guess that's the beauty of this on-line world. You don't have to say your shit directly to the person's face. But I guess you do what makes you happy. I think that Wil tries to not take that crap seriously. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less. I never thought that all his time spent on this entitled me to any sort of gift. I have the gift of a happy husband. (I know... gag) Nevertheless, I am extremely touched by your generosity, and I'll be thinking of you all while I'm having my spa day. Thanks!

On to the next subject. The most recent entry of Wil's (at least the one he read to me yesterday, and printed out all the responses for me to read) The 7 things you are thankful for today. My list is for today and everyday since I am a dork with this computer and probably won't get a chance to do this for another six months

1. My husband- his unconditional love for me and for Ryan and Nolan (my men)
- his little love notes in my lunch I take to work or my suitcase when I go out of town
- the way he rubs my ear at night to help me fall asleep
- when he thanks me every time I do his laundry

2. My aforementioned men (Ryan and Nolan)-the way Ryan laughs so hard he can't sit up (just like I do)
-when Nolan tells me he loves me and gives me a kiss in front of his class (because he doesn't care what his friends think yet)
-that they both still make me Mother's Day cards out of construction paper
- they have Wil's sense of humor, even though they aren't biologically his

3. My friends- the handful of close ones I have had for years
- the same ones that have to hear the same stories about the bullshit my ex husband is doing now
- the same ones that we take turns taking each other to the airport
- the same ones that go do stuff with me while my husband works on his website

4. My job- that I'm actually doing something I enjoy-something I chose for a career
-that I can make my own schedule so I can be here for the kids or take a day off to hang out with Wil

5. My health and my family's health- I know that that seems like a typical one, but we have had a lot of death around us recently, so I am truly thankful that we are all well.

6. Chocolate- need I say more?

7. The Simpson's- now you're probably thinking "what? does she mean OJ?" No. Definitely no. As in Homer. You see, that show is probably the one thing that makes Wil laugh harder than anything. It's funny. He laughs so hard he puts his hand in front of his face, but you can still see that the tip of his tongue curls up. Isn't that weird? I wonder why that happens. Probably the same explanation as me not being able to sit up straight when I laugh really hard. Just one of those things. Anyway, hours of entertainment, that's all. And the happiness it brings my husband.

I just loved reading all the responses and lists of everyone's 7 things. Wil is pretty cool that way. I guess that's why I married him. He's a smart guy. An honest, funny, loving, caring, wanting to make the world a better place kind of guy.

I think this whole computer thing isn't so bad after all! Of course, it's taken me an hour to type all this. No seriously, it has. I think my 10 year old could type faster than I could. I guess I should finish now. I think I'll go kick Wil's ass in some Air-Sea Battle- guided missiles of course. He hates that he can never beat me. Then again, I am 3 years older than him. That gives me 3 more years practice. Whatever the case, he's still getting his ass kicked by a GIRL!

Thanks again for the awesome gift! And please, tell Wil to wear his glasses (they totally look like the ones Corey Feldman wore in Stand By Me... I think he jacked them) while he's on the computer. He looks cross-eyed when he's on this thing for too long (which is everyday)

See ya!


P.S. Did Wil ever finish telling you about the Vegas trip back in September? I think that was how all this got started and he mentioned a while ago that he hadn't finished it yet. So let me sum it up for you.... his sketch comedy show was awesome, William fucking Shatner still doesn't speak to Wil (but I guess he has since then...Weakest Link thing)....we... I should say I, lost my ass at roulette(is that how you spell that?) and our second-hand smoke filled 5 day extravaganza was finished off by my laryngitis, and upper respiratory infection due to all the damn smoke -illness. God I hate Vegas. I can't wait to go back. Later!

Attention WWDN Shoppers

Last week, I added two new designs to the WWDN store.

One of the designs was drawn by my amazingly talented friend, Ben.

The other design was created by an amazing artist named Brad, who I don't know, at all...so I conducted this silly little interview with him, so that I, and the Posse, could get to know him a little bit better.

Ben, if you're reading this, I want to interview you next. It's nice being on the other side of the table for a change!

WIL: Your website, artpeace.com, has one of the most beautiful mission statements I've ever read. Would you talk a little bit about what influenced your beliefs?

BRAD: Well, Mr. Crusher, I think I believe in God, and I think God's pretty cool.

And I think that people are way too serious in life, and caught up in "self", so much so that they become very peaceless entities. I've found that people react very positively from my art; they start trippin' and sometimes even think they can paint and draw all of a sudden (those who are not visual artists). That's cool, cuz if a person thinks she or he can do something they will usually at least try to make something happen, and end up on a higher skill or mental plane than when they started. I get the same kind of inspired energy from artists whose work I admire.

W: You state that "the creative energy of art" can stimulate the positive
flow of peace. Personally, I completely agree with this ideal, but I wonder if you've seen it in action?

B: People get excited when they see something on canvas or paper or the movie screen that they think is the coolest thing they've ever seen. They talk to each other, they agree about the skillful execution or the tight special effects, they can converse about something heavy without even caring about any differences that may exist between them. A good piece of art can calm the need to tear off somebody's head. That's peaceful energy.

W: I feel that your work is inspired by Dali. Am I right, or am I O.J.?

B: You do NOT want to be O.J. right about now...Salvadore was the father of surrealism, a style from which I create most of my work.

W: Did you go to an art school? Care to plug said school? As an artist, how do you feel about formal education vs. experiential education for would-be

B: I went to the premiere art high school in Houston. I had to audition to get in, did so with flying colors, then flunked 12th grade cuz I fkd around and didn't do the senior project, which they announced during the final week was not just another project, but 1/2 the semester grade...missed it by 1/2 credit, and the instructor flunked me cuz I had been a smart ass to her a few weeks before. So I took typing in summer school, and now I can type about 80 wpm. That helps out alot on my Macintosh work.

As for the education thing? It's whatever way you get it. Some artists feel like they have to have some rules under their belt before they can get down; artists like me look for rules that will break if you hit 'em hard enough.

W: The design you did for WWDN, which you've called "Perfect Imperfection", is really amazing. Would you like to talk about what inspired this piece?

B: No.

W: The Dodgers have been on a steady decline since FOX bought them. New GM Dan Evans has said that they want to "win now, not rebuild". What do you think of this attitude?

B: ... What? . . . Ok, ok I'll talk about "Perfect Imperfection" if it'll keep
us friends. One of the most amazing and harmlessly eerie sights in nature to me is a tree in the winter time when you can see all the branches. A billion branches that form this spiritual maze leading in seemingly endless possible directions that life can take you in at any given moment. The overall shape of this tree is almost reminiscent of the human brain...endless nerve endings. The eye is vision, insight, creativity, intellect. The green and gold iris depict sunlight causing the green (life) to exist, but there really is no eye there, just the impression that one exists. This image is of something that is the core by which we seek to perfect the imperfection
of the human destiny. Ok?

If the Dodgers have this kind of record, I think they may never win if he doesn't rebuild now.

W: Art vs. Commerce, Art *AS* Commerce, Commerce as Art. Discuss.

B: Art battling commerce loses almost everytime, if you're trying to pay bills.

Commercial artists, a group to which I technically but not always joyfully belong, don't draw and paint what they want, but what somebody with some money they need wants drawn. They incorporate their own style, true, but it still only goes so far. Then art becomes commerce. It's good work--very skilled execution--but usually it didn't really come out of that artist's soul, just out of the need to eat. Dali didn't give a damn what people thought, just as long as the work was good in his own sight. That's how I am, I think that's how any true artist is, whether visual, musical, theatrical... whatever. Got to be real. Or else it's commerce masquerading
as art, and anybody who is actually alive can see right through it.

W: Your website is really cool, and the idea of walking through a building to check out the art is very similar to the the interactive menus on Vivid DVDs. Ever had a pornstar come to your website? Asia Carrera once emailed me, you know.

B: If she came (get it?) to my website, I never heard about it. I don't remember... did you ever get around to emailing her back?

W: Yeah, and I think I scared her away with my geekiness. She never responded. Guess I'll have to start fawning over some other pornstar now.

In addition to your website, you publish a magazine. Is publishing a magazine as hard as I think it is?

B: Before beginning work on Artpeace Uncovered Magazine which you can download subscription cards for at the website and mail in with your check or money order... o crap, that was shameless. I'm sorry...Wil, calm down, man--it
won't happen again. As I was -- I worked a few years at several local pubs in Houston and at an independent newspaper, so I got the experience needed to manage a large multi-department mag. Artpeace Uncovered actually premieres this coming September, and many, many thousands of copies will be distributed nationwide. It mainly focuses on nongalleried artists who me and my enlightened staff think kik ass, but the world hasn't yet been fully let in on that fact.

W: Thank you so very, very much for this amazing design. I think it's beautiful, and I am honored that you offered to do it for me. Thank you even more for answering my lame questions.

B: You know, Mr. Crusher, I'm actually one of the few people in the galaxy who don't hate you. I didn't think Captain Picard was grateful enough that time you saved the entire ship, so it is me who is honored to present to you a token of my appreciation. Peace and Prosperity to you, your family and all your readers.

W: Peace and Prosperity to you, as well. By the way, call me Mr. Crusher again, and I'll kick you in the nuts.

February 18, 2002

Flamenco Sketches

Four days off.

That's like 5 years in internet time, isn't it?

What a great time it was, though. The whole time we were together, Anne and I kept commenting on how we couldn't remember the last time we did anything "just the two of us." After some discussion, we figured out that the last time we spent any time together alone, it was over our anniversary, back in November.

It was really awesome, and a very much needed diversion from "real life." I turned the computer off on Friday morning, and it stayed off until about 30 minutes ago. And I have to tell you, I am surprised to say that turning it back on was not an easy thing to do...mostly because my poor computer is really on it's last legs, and it's painful to watch the poor old girl start up... :-)

Today is a school holiday for the kids, and I was planning on staying home, and hanging out with them, and working longer days tomorrow and Wednesday...but I have two, count 'em, two auditions tomorrow, and I won't be able to go into work, so I spent a half day there, finishing up some re-writes that are due in two days.

I really love my job, and I really like the people I work with. I realized as I was driving home today how lucky that makes me. I know so many people who just hate their jobs, and dread going to work, and I am not amongst their number. Sure, it helps that we all play lots of games, but the creative freedom I have on my show, and the visceral excitement I feel when I watch an edit of one of our shows is what really makes the hellish commute worth it.

You know, now that I think about it, there is really a lot in my life that I love: my job, my wife, my step-kids, my dog, my friends and family...

I had an email a few months ago from a WWDN reader who mentioned to me that his Thai Chi master has him write down 7 things each day that he is thankful for. I think that's a simply brilliant idea, and everyone should do it.

I'll go first. Today, I am thankful for:

  1. Waking up to my wife's smile.
  2. The traffic-free drive to work, because today is a holiday.
  3. The cool, crisp, ocean breeze that blew across my face when I got out of my car at work.
  4. Ryan's unbridled enthusiasm as he shows me that he can ollie nearly 12 vertical inches on his skateboard.
  5. The sunset this evening, turning to gold the leafless branches of the trees in my neighborhood, as they reach towards a cloudy, indigo sky.
  6. Nolan coming to me, when I got home from work, and following me around the house, telling me all about his weekend that he spent with his dad.
  7. Finding my "This American Life" CD, which I had thought I'd lost.

That's all I have for now. I'm off to prepare my auditions.

Thought for today:

If you are able, help others. If not, at least refrain from hurting them.

7:48 PM PST: I want to add something to my list...

8. Nolan serenading Anne and me during our dinner.

Now, I will explain: Earlier tonight, both kids went to play at their friend's houses. As dinner time drew closer, we got a phone call from Ryan, asking if he could stay at his friend's for dinner, followed almost immediately by a similar call from Nolan. So Anne and I prepared for a romantic, candle-lit dinner for 2, while the boys were off with their friends.

I raced up to the market, and picked up this yummy stuffed chicken breast, and a wonderful bottle of Bordeaux. Trouble was, the chicken took almost an hour to cook, and by the time we were sitting down to eat, both kids had come home.

Nolan walked into the dining room, assessed the situation, and announced that he would be right back. He returned with his saxaphone, and proclaimed that he would play all his songs for us while we ate dinner.

So Anne and I ate our romantic dinner for two, while Nolan played "Hot Cross Buns", "The French Song", "The German Waltz", "Yankee Doodle", and the ever-popular "Oats Peas Beans." It was the one of the coolest things I have ever seen him do.

If I wasn't such a badass, it may have brought tears to my eyes.

February 13, 2002

Cone of Silence

I am officially lowering the cone of silence.

WWDN now ends its broadcasting week. We will return on Sunday night, or Monday morning. Please tune into the soapbox, or enjoy some quality programming at I-Mockery or Unrealistic Expectations.

And Mrs. Wheaton will be enjoying a full-on, super-cool facial, massage and pampering treatment, compliments of the awesome posse, here at WWDN.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Happy Valentine's Day. :)

Onion head hat

As a step-parent, I have this strange set of ever-changing boundries that I have to respect with my step-kids.

On the one hand, it sort of sucks, because I don't think I'll ever be as close to them as I want to, even though they live with Anne and me. On the other hand, I totally respect and understand their limits, and I am not about to force myself on them, or force them to have a relationship with me that they aren't ready for. For example, I don't ever want to be called "dad". I'm really happy just being "Wil", because they've alread got a dad. I've made a point of that, over the years, and I think that it has made things easier for the kids, because I'm not putting them in an uncomfortable position of having to choose who they love more, or who they want to be around.

The other side of that is that I sometimes feel like my influence on them is minimized, and that they aren't "getting" the same things that they'd be "getting" if I was the only father-figure in their lives.

But sometimes, things happen, and I really see myself in them, and it's just awesome.

Anne and I worked long days today, and we realized that there was no food in the house when it was time to fix dinner, so we decided to go out to eat.

Normally, I'm not a big fan of the dining out experience. Somehow, I've managed to avoid the being a waiter part of being an actor, and I think restaurants scare me, because I know I'm "The Curse, Part 4" away from asking if anyone would like to know what the "soup du jour" is, and then sighing sadly when my answer, "that's the soup of the day", doesn't elicit the peals of laughter that I was hoping for.

But when there's no food in the house, and I don't want to order pizza, our options are limited.

So we put the kids in the car, and we headed out to a local eating establishment for some grub. While we were there, a couple of things happened, and I totally saw myself in both of the kids, and it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

But it didn't, because I'm a bad ass, and I'm cool, and tough, okay? Okay?!


So we're eating underneath this picture of Jack Nicholson, the one where he's holding a magnifying glass, and his teeth are huge, and his chin is pulling a Leno.

I point at it, and I say, "Hey, guys, do you know who that is?"

Ryan says, "Drew Carey?"
"No," I reply, "it's Jack Nicholson."
"Oh," says Nolan. "I thought he was dead."

Then they look at each other for a second, and explode into laughter. Of course they know Jack Nicholson, they tell me. They were totally messing with me.

Which is something that I would do.

Later in our meal, Anne is telling the kids that the exterminator came to our house today, and he left some traps in the attic...she then tells the kids, "So, later tonight, you may hear: scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch..." And she SLAMS her hand on the table, and shouts, "BAM!" which she immediately follows with this screaching "EEIPPE!" noise.

Ryan looks at the table across from us, and he says, to the couple who is staring at my wife, "I don't know this woman. I am so sorry."

Which is something that I would do.

After dinner, when we're back in the car, Nolan says, "Wil, can we listen to Jimmy Eat World?" I tell him no, because it's in the CD player at home.

He follows that up with a request for Tool, and a request for Bad Religion.

I inform him that both of those CDs are also at home, and Ryan says, "How about Cake? Can we listen to Cake, Wil?" He begins to hum "Comfort Eagle" to himself.

J.E.W., Tool, Bad Religion, and Cake. Every last one of them bands that I listen to.

Oh, and a few days ago, Nolan was on the phone telling his friend, "You should never wait to tell your mom that you love her." He waits, while his friend presumably asks him why, and tells him that you never know what's going to happen to someone, so they should always know that you love them.

Which is totally something that I do.

February 12, 2002

Vote Valerie!

If you're a SAG member, please click below, and read more.

If you're not a SAG member, you can read it, but it probably won't make much sense to you.

I support Valerie Harper for President of the Screen Actor's Guild, and I hope that, if you're a SAG member who cares about your union, you will, too.



This email message is not an official communication of the Screen Actors
Guild and has not been transmitted at Guild expense. The Guild is
required by federal law to provide candidates with the opportunity to
send you e-mail messages. The following has been prepared by the
candidate(s) and is not endorsed or reviewed by the Guild in any manner.
The candidate(s) have not been provided with your e-mail address. The
messages are being transmitted by an independent electronic communications



I have been endorsed by five previous SAG Presidents:
Charlton Heston, Dennis Weaver, Kathleen Nolan,
Ed Asner, William Daniels.

I have earned their confidence, their respect and their votes...I'm asking
for yours.

I have also earned their trust.

Like you, I have received a despicable e-mail from Mike Farrell. Shame
on you, Mike, for lying to the membership and for illegally using SAG's
email to spread those lies.

You should know that Mike's illegal use of SAG's email has prompted an
investigation by SAG's newly appointed Election Committee, co-chaired by
Paul Napier and Eileen Henry. Mike may have put this entire election
into jeopardy and it may have been deliberate.
Here's why:

There is an urgent issue before us all: contract negotiations with talent
agents. Melissa Gilbert, who is on the negotiating committee, believes
that it is not a conflict-of-interest if a talent agency can be sold to
an advertising agency. She has said publicly that selling anywhere from
10% to 49% of a talent agency to an advertising agency is acceptable.

For decades, it has been SAG's position that agents cannot serve your
best interest and the interests of your employer at the same time.

This is my position, as well.

Melissa Gilbert doesn't want you to know what's going on, so that's why
someone like Mike Farrell has been chosen to be her spokesperson. Mike
has gone out of his way through e-mails and media appearances to divert
attention from the talent agency issue and try to focus your attention
on the election itself.

You will notice in Mike's e-mail that when he lists "the truly important
issues" facing the union, he makes no mention whatsoever of the agency

You will notice that my opponents aren't allowing Melissa to speak for
herself, for fear that she might have to defend her brief record as
President. In just three months in office, Melissa has become a pawn of
the producers, the agents, Canadian interests and even other unions.

While I have been a leader in human and workers' rights causes for many
years, I am not a politician.

Consequently, during the November election, I made some mistakes and I
should have challenged Melissa Gilbert when she and her supporters told
some of the most unsubstantiated lies in the history of the Guild. The
lies continue.

For this election I challenged Melissa to a debate and she refused
because she knows that she would be unable to defend her campaign lies
before the Guild membership.

I would like you to know more about the issues facing us all and why I
feel this election will determine whether or not there is a future for
the Screen Actors Guild.

To read about the pledges I've made and to read the mission statements
of my running mates Elliott Gould and Kent McCord, please visit our
website at http://www.actorsmovingforward.org

Please check your mailbox for your new SAG Ballot. It must be RECEIVED
by March 8th or your vote will not be counted.

In solidarity,

Valerie Harper

P.S. If you have friends in the union, please forward this e-mail. They
may not have gotten it.

By your command

Last night, we all took a trip down memory lane, to the glory days of Universal Studios, when Conan The Barbarian was so cool, they gave him his own stage show, housed in a cool-looking castle.

Back then, they actually shot movies at the Universal lot, and, if you were lucky, you could take the tram tour and actually see as much film work as you'd find on an average Vancouver street these days. I remember not being able to ride the tram down one of the magical backlot streets, because they were filming this movie with the kid from Family Ties, where they drove this cool car, and some stuff happened. It was a long time ago, so I don't completely remember.

Anyway, back in those glorious days, before runaway production ruined so many lives and dashed so many dreams, taking the backlot tram tour would actually put you, the lucky tourist, in the movies!

You could ride across this collapsing bridge, and go through an actual avalanche, from the Six Million Dollar Man. You could ride through the actual Red Sea, parted by the commanding voice of our tour guide, with the help of his trusty driver.

Jaws, the real Jaws, would actually jump out of the water at the tram, with only the skills of the aforementioned driver to save tramloads of "Maui 1980"-shirted tourists from certain doom.

Of course, facing the dangers of the movies was exciting and all, but that was nothing, after you'd driven into an actual Cylon Spaceship, and faced down the wrath of the Imperious Leader, with a little help from this guy named "Apollo", from the real Battlestar Galactica. It was the first real "event" of the tram tour, and it was my absolute favorite part. Even better than the Psycho house, or 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

Once, when I was doing that whole "Teen Idol" thing, I was invited to Universal to host Nickelodeon's Kid's Choice Awards. It was there that I met, and developed the hugest crush ever on, the one and only Debbie Gibson. (Who, in a bizarre twist of six degrees of separation, is good friends with one of the actors who I just worked with in 'Neverland'. She told him to tell me "Hello". Rock.)

Anyway, while we were at Universal, shooting segments for the awards show, they took us into the actual Cylon Spaceship, and let us experience it, "behind the scenes". I got to put on the Apollo helmet, pick up the balsa wood gun, and lip synch, "In the name of the federation, I demand the release of the humans!"

It was beyond cool, even though I was like 15 or 16, and should really have been too cool for the whole thing, especially since I was hoping that Debbie Gibson would get lost in my eyes, and not be able to shake my love.

But, alas, the romance was not to be, and, although I did my best Apollo, they wouldn't let me put on the whole costume and do it for real tourists.

The closest I ever got to being on Battlestar Galactica was running around the Enterprise, which wasn't as good a consolation prize as you'd think.

A few years later, I read in the paper that the Battlestar Galactica attraction was gone, replaced by, get this, an escalator, that would transport tourists to the bottom of the hill, where they could wait in line for lame attractions like "ET's Adventure" and something stupid from An American Tale. Billed, at the time, as the "world's biggest escalator", it failed to impress me the same way that balsa wood gun and FX smoke-filled room did.

Although I hadn't ridden the backstage tour in years, I knew immediately that I would miss it forever.

I never went on studio tours again like the ones I did when I was 16.

Jesus, does anyone?

February 11, 2002


Earlier today, I posted the Greatest Picture, EVER!

There was much discussion about Knight Rider, and I have wondered this all day: Am I the only person who was crestfallen upon finding out that the voice of KITT was not, in fact, the voice of the car, but was, in truth, the voice of actor William Daniels?

When Bill was president of SAG, I had lots of meetings with him, because I am on the Board of Directors, and was part of our TV and Theatrical negotiating team. When I would have a meeting with Bill, I'd call Anne, and tell her, "I won't make it for dinner tonight. I have a meeting with KITT." And she'd say, "Is it in his office? Or is he meeting you around back in 5, buddy?"

Continuing the trip down Knight Rider lane...back in the old days, when there was only one Universal Studios, and the main focus of the whole experience was the tour, not the damn animal shows and gift shops...well, okay, it was the gift shops, but not as transparently as it is now...

But I digress.

Back in the day, at Universal Studios, they had a KITT car parked in this area where you could go and sit in it, and, I am not making this up, talk to KITT!

You could ask KITT all sorts of questions, and while you waited in line, you could hear the questions asked, and the answers given out by none other than KITT HIMSELF!

So people would sit in KITT, and ask all sorts of questions about the show, and "what did you do in episode [whatever]?", and all sorts of technical questions about the specifics of his design, etc.

I so badly wanted to get into the car, and say, "Hey, KITT, I was wondering, do you ever cut loose when the people go home? I mean, tell me the truth. You can kick the A-Team Van's ass, right? Do you ever just head on over to the backlot and do donuts, just because you can?"

But I totally chickened out, and, when I got up there, I froze, and asked, "What's your top speed, KITT?"

The sad thing is, I can't even remember what the answer was.

update: 8:41 PM PST: Cherish, a cool girl and helpful soapbox mod, just sent me this picture of her, sitting in KITT!

Second. Best. Picture. EVER.



If you're a FARKer or Something Awful reader, you probably know about The Photoshop Contest, which I was asked to judge.

Over the weekend, I finally found time to judge and comment on the entries, and Something Awful has posted the results.

If you're not a regular SA reader, you should just be prepared: it's not intended for kids, or the easily offended. I, however, think it is hilarious.

However, if you are a kid, or easily offended, dispair not! For while I was at FARK this morning, I stole for you, and now present to you, The Best. Picture. EVER!

Have a great day! My kids have the day off from school, so we're hanging out together.

February 10, 2002

Misty Mountain Hop

Looks like winter has decided to take the week off...it's already 74 degrees here, and all the trees are blooming and blossoming, thinking that it's spring. Didn't that damn groundhog say there were 6 more weeks of winter? If this warm weather keeps up, I will have no excuses for my yard looking like Beirut.

Actually, I love spring. It's warm, beautiful, and the perfect season to follow winter...problem is, spring doesn't like me, or my wife.

At least, the pollen doesn't like us. We've been sneezing and itching for the last 48 benedryl-hazed hours, with no end in site. And I have to do yard work today. Oy.

Last night, Anne and I watched "Amazon Women on the Moon", the sort-of sequel to "Kentucky Fried Movie. I saw "Kentucky..." about 2 weeks ago, and, unlike a lot of topical 70's comedies, it really holds up. And I'm not just talking about "Catholic High School Girls In Trouble", either.

It was the first time Anne had seen "Amazon...". It was cool to watch something that I'd seen so many times, with someone who hadn't ever seen it before, and see her laugh out loud that jokes that I just smile at now, because I know they're coming.

Speaking of stuff I've seen a million times, I introduced Ryan to "The Prisoner" day before yesterday. We sat and watched "Arrival" on Friday night, and "Free For All" yesterday afternoon. Ryan is really smart, and he totally gets the symbolism and deeper meanings of a lot of the themes in the show, so far, and he has come up to me a few times saying, "Wil! I totally know who Number One is!" I can't wait to talk with him about it when we finally watch "Fallout".

In other news, I finally finished judging the Something Awful vs. FARK photoshop contest. I'd check both sites on Monday for the results, and for SA to take some seriously nasty digs at me.

Oh, and WWDN has been reviewed at Epinions. Thank you to Tammy who wrote the review, and let me know about it.

Well, it's time for me to grab a rake, crank up Zeppelin 4, and attack the yard.

Have a great Sunday, everybody!

February 9, 2002


We've just discovered, in the last couple of days, that some rats (Rats! Rats! F-ing rats with...aw, forget it) have moved into our attic, and maybe even down some walls.

So I'm wondering, has anyone ever used those sonic repeller as seen on TV thingies? If so, have they worked?

I'd so very much like it if the rats would leave.

Killing in the name of...

This makes me sick. Just plain sick. According to a report in the New York Times, hundreds, if not thousands of innocent, civilian Afghan citizens have died in US attacks, during the undeclared war on terror.

Now, let me be clear here, because my posts like this usually bring out the name-callers: I am horrified by, and I am still processing the reality of the terrible, terrible attacks on September 11th. I want very badly for the people who did it to be brought to justice, and pay for what they did, and I want to be sure that things like this don't happen again.

But I don't think that killing innocent people, identified as "collateral damage", is right.

Consider this: the people in the WTC and Pentagon, and on those planes were completely innocent, right? Just people, going through their day. Maybe some of them had left a sleeping spouse, at home, or left their kid at school without a goodbye kiss.

The evil sub-humans who murdered thousands of innocent people didn't have a quarrel with them, personally. Their quarrel is with the leadership and foreign policy of the United States, right? So, from their horribly twisted perspective, the people who died on 9/11: the mothers, sons, infants, fathers, daughters, husbands and wives, were just "collateral damage", right?

NOTE (4:14 PM): Wrong. They were, as has been pointed out, intentional targets. After many notes and emails, I have really reconsidered my thought here: these people who died on 9/11 were intentional targets, murdered by terrorists, and not collateral damage, as I said. I was way, way, way off, and I'm putting foot into mouth. There is a huge difference between a bomb that goes astray, and the intentional targeting of civilians. I'm really glad that people have pointed out my glaring error, and, rather than pride fully insist that I am correct, it's much more important to me to admit that I was wrong.

I guess that my point is that I don't like this concept of "collateral damage", regardless of whose side you're on. I also don't even like the term. It's too antiseptic, and fails to convey the brutal reality. It should be called what it is: The Killing of Innocent Civilians.

Innocent people do not deserve to die, especially because of a conflict that isn't between people, but between nations.

If I, or someone I loved had died on that day, I would not want an Afghan child to die in the pursuit of my, or my loved one's killer.

It also really bothers me that everyone, from the man in the street, to the members of the media, to the leaders in our government, are calling this a war, when congress hasn't declared war. I realize that this is probably pedantic to most people, but I think that the separation of powers is extremely important, and if the cause is just, the President should ask for, and receive from Congress, a declaration of war. Doesn't this bother anyone else? I mean, of course it's a war. But why hasn't it been formally declared? And, while I'm at it, because I'm pretty sure the flames will begin to surge my way, shouldn't the my government take a good, hard look at why the rest of the world hates us so much? I mean, let's get the bad guys, absolutely, but shouldn't we also take a good, honest, fearless look at our foreign policy, and ask ourselves if maybe we need to make some changes?

Let me clarify just a few other things, too: If you're a serviceman or woman, I don't have a problem with you, or the choice you've made to defend our country. It seems that every time I question the morality of a war, or the motives of our leadership, I get flooded with emails and comments from insulted members of the armed forces, and I'd like to head that off, if it's at all possible. The same way that I don't want to be blamed for a lousy episode of TNG, I don't blame you for a war that I don't agree with. I know, a thin comparison, but I think you get my point.

I realize that, in war, civilian deaths are inevitable, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it, and I fear that there are people who will read this story, and it won't bother them a bit that a mother lost a son in our pursuit of the terrorists.

Countless Iraqi civilians died during the Operation Desert Storm, simply because they were in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and I heard people proclaiming that they deserved it, because they were Iraqi, and therefore automatically supported Saddam. I think that's insane.

So this started out as an indignant post about the deaths of civilians in Afghanistan, but it's turned into some rambling thoughts on the deaths of innocents in any war...I bet I'd get a low grade if I turned this in as a paper, but it's what's on my mind today. So there.

I also realize that most Americans are still reeling over the events of 9/11, and I apologize in advance if my thoughts here offend anyone.

February 8, 2002

Art imitates life imitates art

Today, I had an audition over at Paramount for a pilot where the character I'm reading for is turning 30, and regrets some decisions that he made when he was a teenager. So he wishes for a chance to go back and have a "do-over".

I am not making this up, and the show is not called "The Wil Wheaton Story".

I had lots of fun doing it, because the show is a comedy, and the character is, and again, I'm not making this up, very ironic, sarcastic, and acerbic.

Now I'm wondering if I should sue them for stealing my move?

Anyway, since I was there, I stopped at the "Nemesis" set, and got an eyeful of some amazingly scary aliens, and got to say hello to Patrick and Brent, and John Logan.

I also wanted to wish Patrick and Brent good luck in the 4 Man Bobsled event at the olympics, in which they've decided to compete, as late entries.

You know, every time I go to Paramount, I am overwhelmed by this weird conflicting melange of emotions: nostalgia, happiness, and melencholy being the most prominent ones...for as much as I didn't like it when I was younger (mostly due to my age), I really miss that place...and being on Stage 16, which was our "Swing Stage" (a stage that can be changed from week to week to be a planet, or alien spaceship, or holodeck set), really flooded back the memories. If only I had been listening to "Strangelove" or "Head on the Door" on a walkman, the circle would have been complete.

I also got a call from my friend Seth Wiley, who directed me in "The Good Things", and he told me that I was mentioned over at LaidOffLand.com. I thought that this quote was really cool:"Wil Wheaton should be named like the Grand Chancellor of the Internet. For his assistance, I've named him The El Supremo of LaidOffLand."

That brought a big smile to my face. :-)

February 7, 2002

Mailbox is full

On my way home today, I stopped at the store, and picked up "The Awful Truth" on DVD. It's an awesome TV show created by the equally awesome Michael Moore, creator of "Roger and Me", and "Downsize This!"

I was so moved by a segment on his show, that I had to write him an email, which came back because his mailbox is full.

So I'm reprinting it, here, because I know I'll get busy and forget to send it:

To: [email protected]
Subject: The Awful Truth

Hi Michael,

I just bought the DVD collection of "The Awful Truth", and I'm still wiping my tears of fury which became tears of joy, after watching you save a man's life, in episode one.

You continue to be an inspiration to me.

Thank you for making a difference!

Fondly and respectfully yours,

Wil Wheaton
Los Angeles, CA

May peace prevail on earth

A question

Morning everyone.

Over at ThinkGeek, they have this option for you to see their products "in action". Basically, what people do is send in creative pictures of themselves wearing a T-shirt, or drinking from a glass, or something showing a mousepad, or something.

I'm wondering, when I get the gallery fixed, would anyone be interested in, and willing to send in jpegs of some of the WWDN schwag "in action"?

I think we could have some fun with it.

February 6, 2002

Mister Mastodon Farm

It's been a long day, and I should really be going to bed...but Anne is still out in Riverside, working on "Neverland", and I know that I won't be able to sleep until she's back...

Do any of you married or living-in-sin types feel this way? If I know that she's staying with one of her friends, or something, I can go to sleep at 9, and sleep like a baby...but if I know that she's coming home, and I get into bed, I sleep fitfully, and wake with a start after about 90 minutes, absolutely convinced that she's been smeared all over the freeway.

So I don't even try to get to sleep now. I just wait up for her, listening to CAKE, and working on the website. I was playing Diablo II:LOD on BattleNet, but the farking lag was so bad, I got killed twice. Reminds me of the old MUDding days, when I'd go to kill Tiamat, and the happy text messages would slow, stop, and then I'd see something like:

Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
You are really hurt, now.
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
You are feeling faint.
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
You are nearly dead.
Tiamat's Claw EVISCERATES Shaft!
You have died.
You are near a healer. "Mmblfggzpth," the Healer says.

I wonder if that's funny to anyone but me?

Anyway, enough about Lag. Let's talk about "Neverland", shall we?

This movie is really amazing. My friend Damion adapted the book "Peter Pan", and is retelling the story, featuring homeless kids as The Lost Boys, a Transvestite as Tiger Lilly, and a Leather Daddy as Hook. It's really twisted, and really amazing, too. I play John Darling, and I'm getting to work with a bunch of really accomplished stage actors in this movie.

Because Hook is a S&M guy, we shot in a real-life S&M dungeon on Sunday, and I gotta tell you, it was a really...interesting...experience. I was initially really freaked out by the place, but, after spending quite a bit of time talking with the head Dominatrix who runs the place, I figured out that my feeling freaked out was based entirely on erroneous preconceptions. That world is totally not my thing, but I have a much better understanding of the whole lifestyle. My favoreit moment of the entire day was when she was about to tie me up. I told the still photographer that he couldn't take any stills of me all bound, because there are freaks out there who will take those pictures and do...unnatural...things with them. She realized that I was that guy from Star Trek, and she told me that I was "her guy" on TNG. I guess she and all her friends chose who their "guys" were, and she choo-choo-choosed me, even though all her friends thought I was a dork.

So when she was tying my hands for the scene, I think she enjoyed it a little too much...but I was flattered, anyway ;-)

We shot today at this really crappy, totally run-down amusement park, that is like a small version of Knott's Berry Farm, but with traveling carnival rides made permanent, if that makes sense....oh, and there's about 10 people in the whole place.

Anne, Stephanie, and Elyse (the line producer), and I all went into the "Haunted Mansion", which was little more than one of those things you see at Coney Island, you know? It's really just a makeout ride, right? Well, we walked through it...al 25 feet of it, in the dark, "Scooby Doo" style, with just a flashlight. It was very subversive, and we almost got caught by some security drones.

Speaking of Security, I had a callback at Warner Brothers this morning, and holy shit! The security is insane! They checked my ID, and made me open my trunk, and I had to drive around these barriers, like I was going into an embassy. There are all these freaky, Gothic-style posters everywhere, too, extolling the virtues of "checking that mail twice" and "guarding your badge: it's on you when you're on the lot!"...they all looked like those old propaganda posters from WWII...but I was happy to see the security, even if it did make me 15 minutes late for my audition.

Speaking of auditions, I did not book the LA LAW gig, but the casting director told my rockin' managers that I was, and I quote, "far and away the best actor we saw". She went on to tell them that they cast someone who just looked way more like the guy whose son I would have been playing. At first, I was bummed, because I thought, well, the streak continues...but I feel really good about it. I mean, I absolutely did my best work, with each part of the process that I had any control over.

It also looks like I won't get the pilot that I had my callback for today, because they are looking for someone more "quirky", but the casting director really liked what I did, and was impressed with my funny. Trust me, there are worse things in life than having a casting director at Warner Brothers be impressed with my funny! Anyway, it's only the first week of February, and there's a lot of pilot season left. This is going to be a good year.

Today's thought comes from LM:

"Only those who do nothing please everyone."

Good intentions

So I had this idea, that I thought was nice and sweet.

Turns out it was a really bad idea, and I've really turned some people off.

I'm super sorry.

To those of you who also thought it was a good idea, and contributed, thank you. We'll be having a nice dinner. To those of you who felt the need to attack me about it, I appreciate your honesty, even if your words stung a bit.

I'm totally at a loss for words.

I just...well...I'm sorry, everyone.

February 5, 2002


Good morning!

I'm checking my email, while the kid's sausage sizzles on the Foreman Grill, and I was sent a link to this story on Trek Galaxy. It's an interview with Rick Berman, about Nemesis. It's a good article, and I call attention to this section:

STM. We know now that Kate Mulgrew and Wil Wheaton will appear in Star Trek: Nemesis as Admiral Janeway and Wesley Crusher, respectively. How did their appearances come about? "

Berman: "John Logan, who wrote the script, very much wanted Kate to portray an admiral that we had and Kate was delighted to do it. We have a wedding in the movie and guests at the wedding include Wil Wheaton and Whoopi Goldberg."

STM: Did anyone have to twist your arm to get Wheaton back in there? He's been under the impression that you didn't like him.

Berman: "You know, that's so funny because somebody else told me that. I can't imagine why anybody would think that way. I'm very fond of Wil. Somebody else, not someone from the press, said to me, "Wil is very interested in being in the movie, but we hear you don't like him." I can't imagine where that came from."

STM: Actually, it came from Wil. He's said that he lost favour with you because of the way he left Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Berman: "That could not be farther from the truth."

STM: The wedding, as we all know, is between Deanna (Marina Sirtis) and Riker (Jonathan Frakes), so it seems like an ideal opportunity for Majel Barrett Roddenberry to reprise her role as Lwaxana. Will she be back? "

Berman: "Nope. There's a plot point I don't want to give away, but there's a reason."

February 4, 2002

Shut that bloody bazouki player up!

Roughy, if ever there was a website for you, this is it.

I have been reading this book, The Four Agreements, in my spare time (when I'm not reading computer books, to help make WWDN not suck), and I have really fallen in love with it.

Has anyone else read this book? I really love it, because, while I actively eschew organized religion, I am drawn towards spirituality and philosophies for bettering yourself.

(yes, I cribbed this from my post in the soapbox, but I thought we needed something nice to talk about, after the flame-fest earlier today [grin] Read "more" for a great comment from that post)

Okay, I know this is totally lame, but I didn't watch "The Practice" last night, and I wonder what happened...would someone post it in the comments?

Time for bed. There's some SpongeBob on the way. I promise.


This is from JSc, who is one of the WWDN OG's. It's a comment from the last post, and I would like to file this under "Wish I'd said it".

I see people hiding behind a cloak of false patriotism to avoid having to think for themselves.


Patriotism is not blindly supporting your government. It is not rendering yourself insolvent in the interest of trying to prop up the economy even while the government commits itself to renewed deficit spending. It is not jumping on whatever bandwagon happens to be passing by. Patriotism is sitting, and thinking, and considering, and choosing to stand up for those things for which your nation was originally supposed to stand. Not McDonalds and Exxon and *.com and Microsoft and Starbucks. Patriotism does not include supporting the military when it invades some podunk third-world nation and starts killing civilians. Patriotism *DOES*, however, include supporting the troops who are attempting to do right by fighting for their country, however misguided a strategy may be.

Life. Liberty. Pursuit of happiness. Equality. Freedom of speech/religion/assembly/press. Freedom of THOUGHT. A government of the people, by the people, and for the people.

Vanna White's hook. (or not?)

Patriotism most of all includes fulfilling your responsibility as a citizen to let the government know when it's gone astray, either by voting or writing letters, or running for office (as futile as that may often seem), or just talking to people and attempting to spread knowledge and open people's eyes.


He used...sarcasm, sir

Hey party peopole!

I'm doing this thing that I think is really, really funny, and cool: I'm sponsoring the "Weblog of the Millennium" in the anti-bloggies!

See, in their rules, the antibloggies clearly state that I'm not even eligible, and since they're anti-, and since WWDN recieved so many bloggies...I just thought it was very funny, and stuff for me to sponsor that category. So you should head on over and nominate some cool sites, that aren't WWDN.

How about that Super Bowl? I missed most of it because I was working, but I'm so glad that New England won...way to go Underdogs!
I did get to see this one commercial, that said that if you use drugs, you're supporting terrorism, which is nice, because I thought that giving 43 million dollars to the Taliban to kill opium poppies was supporting terrorism, but TV learned me good.

Speaking of Emperor Bush, how about that new budget? Yay! Defecit spending is back! We're gonna party like it's 1989! Pick up your Rubik's Cube, and put some shoulder pads in your T-shirt!

I mean, I didn't think Bush could do much better than declaring war on the entire world in his State of the Union address, or trying to sneak in another broadside against women's rights to control their own bodies...but he totally went and did it! That crazy G.W...you never know what he'll do next!

Darnit. I totally have to leave for work now, just as I was getting my sarcasm mojo workin'

I hope everyone has a great day.

Try this: hold a door open for a stranger today. It's a nice thing to do :)

February 2, 2002


This has got to be the coolest day to write, this year. (If it isn't, I'm sure someone will point that out!)

I was watching A&E last night, and there was a show all about Jack Benny. I guess Jack Benny used to always refer to things the same way I do, calling them "the best", or "the most amazing", or whatever.

One of his friends said that Jack Benny would come in from a shoeshine, and say, "Would you look at this shine? This is the best shine, ever!". After eating a lunch, he'd say, "How about this ham and cheese? This has got to be the best ham and cheese I've ever had!"

Sounds like he had a mostly postive attitude, and really enjoyed life. I thought that was really cool.

So it came to my attention that today is Brent Spiner's birthday. Happy birthday, Brent! He must be at least as old as I am, now. Wow.

Neverland continues to be amazing. I will take some pictures and put a few of them up this coming week.

Jane White is getting some RAVE reviews. Check out Box Office Magazine, Entertainment Today, and Indie Rag. We are having more Jane screenings soon, so watch this space, or check the official Jane website for more info. I just love Jane White, from top to bottom. Everything about this movie makes me smile, and I hope you will all get a chance to see it.

I was sent a copy of DHTML and CSS for the World Wide Web, from peachpit press (Thank you, ALEXA!), and I've been reading it in all my free time. This site is going to be so badass, I can't even begin to describe it. Looking at my source makes me cringe, right now, but Roughy and I should have the whole thing fixed RSN. :)

Now, I am off to take lunch to my lovely wife, who is over-booked with clients today at the salon (yes, that's right. My wife is that good a hairdresser. They over-book, baby!).

Thought for today comes again from the Lama:

"Seeking blessings from outsiders is not right. Your life is on your own shoulders."

Have a good weekend, everyone.